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1
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,874
Ooh, we’re going to have
such fun!
2
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:11,511
Oh, I just can’t wait.
Now I’ll get all these buttons
buttoned.
3
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:15,916
Hello, you exquisite,
brilliant, charming, perfect,
little witch-let!
4
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,118
(CHUCKLES)
Hello, Samantha.
Hello, Mother.
5
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:21,154
Good-bye, Mother.
Where are you going?
6
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,859
Tabatha and I are going
to see Hoho the Clown.
7
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,496
Who, what and why
is Hoho the Clown?
8
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,366
Ah,
that’s your granddaughter’s
favorite television show.
9
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,002
Uh, Darrin’s agency
represents the sponsor,
10
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,372
and he gave us
tickets to see it
in person, so we’re go...
11
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,408
Oh, dear. Tsk.
Where did I put them?
12
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,844
Samantha,
I’m surprised at you,
13
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,848
taking a child of Tabatha’s
breeding to a kiddie show?
14
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,583
A ballet, yes.
15
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:53,620
A drama by Shakespeare,
perhaps. But that ho, ho,
hee, hee, ha business.
16
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:58,926
Oh, no.
Now, if you prefer something
in a lighter vein,
17
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,061
well, we could pop over
to Paris
18
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,331
and ride up the River Seine
in a Bateau Mouche.
19
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,767
Maybe some other time.
We have a previous
engagement.
20
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:12,306
Oh, and I just flew over
from Edinburgh to play
with my little granddaughter.
21
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,241
Well, I’m sorry, Mother,
22
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,544
but Tabatha and I are going
to see Hoho the Clown.
23
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,913
Well, very well.
I’ll go with you.
24
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,050
Uh, well, Mother,
you’d hate every
minute of it.
25
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:27,254
Now, can you see yourself
sitting for an hour surrounded
by children?
26
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,756
Yes.
I always enjoy seeing
27
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,927
how inferior
other children are
to my Tabby-Tabby-Tabbykins.
28
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,530
Besides,
we only have two tickets.
29
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,132
Count again.
30
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,503
Tsk! Mother.
31
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,138
Yes, dear?
32
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,841
You’re a stubborn woman.
33
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,178
You’re a good ticket-zapper,
but you’re a stubborn woman.
34
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,286
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
35
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,564
(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)
36
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:59,012
You sure Richard Burton
started like this?
(LAUGHS)
37
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,982
Is that Hobo the Clown?
38
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:05,052
Not Hobo, Mother, Hoho.
39
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:08,789
When is he going to be funny?
In a minute,
when the show starts.
40
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,796
Hi, it’s Hoho the Clown!
Ho, ho, ho!
(KIDS CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
41
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:21,768
Brought to you five times
a week, Monday
through Friday,
42
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,336
by the Solow Toy Company.
43
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:26,740
Take it from Hoho!
Buy Solow! Hey!
44
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:31,044
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
45
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,181
Oh... He’s revolting.
46
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,483
And now, boys and girls,
ho, ho, ho, ho,
47
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:39,219
on with the show, show,
ho, ho.
48
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,388
(KIDS CHEERING ON TV)
49
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,594
Darrin, I want you
to read this memo
I received from...
50
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,263
Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho.
What are you doing?
51
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,633
I’m watching Hoho the Clown.
(SIGHS)
52
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,269
Now, that’s what I call
loyalty to the client.
53
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:59,673
I’ve tried to watch him,
but every time I hear
those ho, ho, hos,
54
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,809
I wanna punch him
right in the no-no-nose.
55
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,078
There they are!
There they are on television!
56
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,548
LARRY: There who are?
My wife, my daughter
and my mother-in-law.
57
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,383
How did my mother-in-law
get there?
58
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,487
Ho, ho, ho!
It’s me again.
59
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,689
And guess what I got.
60
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,558
I got balloons!
61
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,828
Ho, ho!
I got, I got, I got,
62
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,396
I got lots of balloons.
63
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:26,266
Balloons for everybody!
Whoo!
64
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,069
And here!
I got a balloon for you.
65
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,438
Isn’t that nice?
Ho, ho!
66
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,840
And I got another balloon
for you.
67
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,843
And I got a balloon for you.
Oops! There’s one.
68
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,313
Here’s one for you.
And I got a balloon
for you.
69
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:43,517
Ho, ho!
And I got
a balloon for you.
70
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,353
And a balloon for you.
Ho, ho, ho!
71
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:50,590
And here’s one for you.
And here’s one for you.
72
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,093
Ho, ho!
And here’s one
for you!
73
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,096
And here’s
another one for you.
And for you.
74
00:04:56,096 --> 00:05:00,033
Why didn’t he give Tabatha
a balloon?
Mother, we’re on television.
75
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,737
She’s the most
outstanding child
in this entire audience.
76
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,006
And now,
77
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:10,010
does anybody know
what time it is?
(KIDS CHEERING)
78
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:15,315
That’s right. It’s time
for the Hoho hope chest!
79
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,951
And the Hoho hope chest...
80
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:22,923
Is chock-full of lots
and lots of toys
and games!
81
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,392
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
82
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,929
Manufactured
by the Solow Toy Company.
83
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,031
Now, every boy and girl
84
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,134
has a Hoho the Clown badge
with a number on it!
85
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:37,003
And in just 60 seconds,
86
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,707
one of those numbers
is gonna be
the lucky number
87
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:44,644
that wins all of the prizes
in the Hoho hope chest!
88
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:45,946
Ah!
89
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,380
(CHEERING)
90
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,951
MAN:
And now, boys and girls,
it’s time
91
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,653
for an exciting message
from the Solow Toy Company.
92
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,956
Where’s Tabatha’s badge?
Oh, she doesn’t have one.
93
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,359
Why not?
Because she’s related
to Darrin.
94
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,494
Well, I admit
that’s a mark against her,
95
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,597
but it’s hardly her fault.
96
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,765
I mean
because Darrin’s connected
with the show,
97
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,867
she’s not eligible
for the Hoho hope chest.
98
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,037
Who says so?
Oh, it’s
an established policy.
99
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,342
Well, I think
it’s very unfair.
100
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,644
They have no right
to penalize my granddaughter.
101
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,780
They’re not penalizing her,
Mother. I told you.
102
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:24,017
Well, I don’t care.
She’ll be very
disappointed.
103
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:28,388
No, she won’t. Now stop it.
Stop making something
out of nothing.
104
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,058
Oh, hi, there!
It’s me again.
105
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,927
And now,
is everybody ready
106
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:37,297
to see who won all
the prizes in the Hoho
hope chest?
107
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,833
(CHEERING)
108
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:44,471
So, I "ho-fully" mix up
the numbers,
109
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,640
and we pick a winner!
110
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,111
And the winning
number is...
111
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,714
Twelve!
112
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,918
Here! Right over here!
This little girl right here!
113
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,422
(GASPS)
Mother!
114
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,426
Ho, ho, ho...
Ha, ha.
(MUTTERS)
115
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,862
Your child shouldn’t win
the Hoho hope chest.
116
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,331
I know.
117
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,366
I guess
the program staff goofed.
118
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,935
Yeah! I guess
the program staff goofed.
119
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,938
I guess
the program staff goofed.
Come on, Sam!
120
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,775
I know it was your mother,
and you know it
was your mother.
121
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:25,478
I guess it was my mother.
As usual, she’s out
to destroy me.
122
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,048
Oh, Darrin,
she’s not out
to destroy you.
123
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,584
She was simply being a...
A fun-loving witch?
124
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:35,155
Well, yes.
And a doting grandmother.
125
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:38,758
Besides, when you tell Larry
that as soon as the show
went off the air,
126
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:41,494
I found the producer
and asked him to give the toys
to charity,
127
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,296
there’ll be no
repercussions.
128
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:47,500
Because we did not take
the Hoho hope chest
ho-ho-home.
129
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,502
I hope you’re right.
130
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,939
Oh, I know I’m right.
The incident is closed.
131
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,847
You’re kidding.
132
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,616
No, I’m afraid
I’m deadly serious.
133
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:06,086
If the little girl who won
yesterday’s hope chest...
134
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:09,956
Is not
in today’s studio audience,
I refuse to go on.
135
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,191
Why?
136
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,926
Because I like her.
137
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,761
Well, Hoho,
this isn’t logical.
138
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,096
Doesn’t have to be logical.
139
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,197
Well, why not?
140
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,165
Because I’m a star.
141
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,938
Darrin,
we have an emergency.
142
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,974
I just got a call from
the producer of
Hoho the Clown.
143
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,511
And?
And Hoho refuses to work
unless,
144
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,480
"That cute little doll"
145
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,684
that won yesterday’s
Hoho hope chest is in
today’s studio audience.
146
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,285
You mean Tabatha?
147
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,653
No Tabatha, no show.
148
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,957
No show, no commercials.
No commercials, no client.
149
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:47,427
What is it, Darrin,
some kind of a practical joke
to amuse my ulcer?
150
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,697
This is the first time
I’ve ever heard of it.
Honestly, I tell ya.
151
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,198
You have no time
to tell me anything.
152
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,702
Just have Sam get
Tabatha over to the studio
immediately,
153
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,141
as a personal favor
to the president
of the company.
154
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,248
You want some milk, hmm?
155
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:11,851
Thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
156
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,757
Hello? Why?
157
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:21,194
Because Hoho
the Clown refuses
to go on unless she’s there.
158
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,596
Oh, no!
159
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,432
Darrin, you know
what I think?
160
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:29,803
I think Mother did more
than monkey around
with Hoho’s hope chest.
161
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,672
I think she monkeyed around
with Hoho himself.
162
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:36,676
What’s she saying?
Well, nothing.
She’s, um, uh, she’s...
163
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,279
My suggestion
is to let Hoho not go on
164
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,714
because, if he’s under one
of Mother’s spells,
165
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,750
I can’t vouch
for what might happen.
166
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,220
Is she giving you
a hard time?
Oh, not exactly, Larry.
167
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,222
She suggests that...
168
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,125
Sam, this is Larry.
169
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:56,029
Will you please bring
Tabatha over to the studio
immediately?
170
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,499
Or I’ll send Darrin home
immediately, unemployed.
171
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,601
(STAMMERS)
Good-bye.
172
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,839
Well, now that that’s
all settled,
173
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,740
let’s you and I go over
to the studio
and see what this
174
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,776
monkey business
is all about.
175
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:15,281
Mother! Mother?
176
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,351
Oh, goodness.
177
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,623
Tabatha, you and I
have got to go
somewhere.
178
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,994
Ooh! That’s a little fast
for ya, huh?
179
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,470
But, Samantha,
you’re a witch!
180
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,106
If Endora put
a spell on Hoho,
are you sure you can’t
181
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,174
snap him out of it?
182
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,176
Yes, positive.
No, she has to do it
herself.
183
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,246
There’s a long,
technical explanation,
184
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,147
but what it boils down to
185
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,917
is that if a licensed
witch puts a spell
on someone,
186
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,919
she has squatter’s rights
to him.
187
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,921
Oh, boy.
You’d better sit down.
188
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,190
Oh. Oh, aren’t you
gonna sit with us?
189
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,792
No, I’m gonna sit with Larry
in the control booth.
Oh, all right.
190
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,828
See ya later.
Yeah, yeah.
191
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,897
Hi, Hoho.
Hi, sweetie.
192
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,270
Hello, Tate.
Oh, Mr. Solow.
193
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,606
What a pleasant surprise.
What brings you here?
194
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,743
I come every Friday like
clockwork to make sure you’re
giving me my money’s worth.
195
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:20,113
Mmm-hmm. Uh,
Darrin, Mr. Solow,
196
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,915
owner
of the Solow Toy Company.
197
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,684
May I present one of McMann
and Tate’s most creative
198
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,452
young executives,
Mr. Darrin Stephens.
199
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:30,056
How do you do, sir?
Likewise. Now let’s
watch Hoho the Clown.
200
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,459
Ho, ho, ho!
I’m Hoho the Clown.
201
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,328
Ho, ho!
(APPLAUSE)
202
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,997
Brought to you
five days a week,
Monday through Friday,
203
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,033
by the Solow Toy Company.
204
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,468
Ho, ho! Take it from Hoho.
Buy a Solow!
205
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,070
Ho!
(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)
206
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:47,273
Boys and girls,
we’re gonna change
our format today.
207
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,909
Instead of doing the show
for the entire audience,
208
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:53,613
we’re gonna play it
to just one member.
209
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,748
And where is she?
210
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,818
Ho, ho! There she is!
Oh, Mr. Cameraman,
211
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,221
Would you get a shot
of this cute little doll
sitting on her mother’s lap?
212
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,992
Oh!
Darrin, did you
change the format?
213
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,094
No, I wouldn’t do that
without your approval.
214
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,797
I liked the format
the way it was.
Ho, ho!
215
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,199
Oh, isn’t she pretty?
216
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,836
Ooh, don’t touch
Hoho’s nose.
217
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,938
You know why?
Because I’m gonna
make sure
218
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,207
that you win
all the prizes.
219
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:24,544
You’re gonna
win all the prizes
from the Hoho hope chest
220
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,346
and all
of the other
prizes too.
221
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,781
Nobody else
is going to win
anything.
222
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,250
He can’t give all
the prizes to one kid!
223
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,052
It’s un-American!
224
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:37,357
Ho, ho!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Ho, ho, ho.
225
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,994
Who is she? Who is
that kid that’s ruining
my program?
226
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,596
And now, boys and girls,
ho, ho, ho, ho,
227
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,598
on with the show, show.
228
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,934
Ho, ho!
I have no idea.
229
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,603
Do you, Darrin?
No.
230
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,172
No, I never saw her before
in my life.
231
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,452
Darrin?
What?
232
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,391
It’s Saturday.
Instead of sitting inside,
233
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,559
why don’t you go out
and get some fresh air?
234
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,996
Good idea.
I’ll take a walk
in the traffic.
235
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,798
With any kind of luck,
the headline will read,
236
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,702
"Death comes to the father of
girlfriend of
Hoho the Clown."
237
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,237
Darrin.
238
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,706
I have an idea.
239
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,143
After Tabatha wakes up
from her nap, why don’t we
take her to Kiddieland?
240
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,546
Why, so she can hand out
autographs as a TV star?
241
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:37,316
Well, she’d hardly be famous
as the result of one
television show!
242
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,586
Don’t count on it.
The complaints must be
pouring in.
243
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,222
And when they discover
that Tabatha is my daughter,
244
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,224
they’ll think that
the television
show was rigged,
245
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,427
leading to an investigation
by the FCC,
246
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,829
where I will decline to answer
questions on the grounds
247
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,431
that my wife and
my mother-in-law are witches!
248
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,534
Okay.
249
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,437
If you don’t feel like
Kiddieland,
let’s go to the zoo.
250
00:13:58,738 --> 00:13:59,872
Samantha.
251
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:00,973
Well...
252
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,276
Sam, I wanna talk
to your mother!
253
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,646
So do I. So do I.
254
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,648
I’ve been calling her
and calling her,
255
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,717
and she will not answer.
256
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,985
Uh, maybe she went away
for the weekend.
257
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,822
Would you like me
to look for her?
Please.
258
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,858
Her two favorite cities
are Paris and Rome.
259
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,626
I’ll try Paris first.
260
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,168
She wasn’t in Paris.
261
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,604
Uh-huh.
What took you so long?
262
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,306
I couldn’t find a cab.
263
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:39,145
Uh, now I’ll try Rome.
You wait right there.
264
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,549
Where else would I go?
(PHONE RINGING)
265
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,453
Hello?
266
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:51,257
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz.
267
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:55,161
Oh, you saw Tabatha
on the Hoho the Clown show.
268
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,597
Yeah. She was
kind of cute, wasn’t she?
269
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:05,638
You want me to get you
on the Build
Your Castle show?
270
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:09,375
Because you
need a refrigerator
and a rotisserie?
271
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:15,181
You want me
to put in the fix for you on
the Build Your Castle show
272
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:18,417
the way I did for Tabatha
on Hoho?
273
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:22,155
Mrs. Kravitz, I did not
put in the fix for Tabatha
on the Hoho show!
274
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,056
I have never put in the fix
for anybody on any show
275
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,525
that I’ve been
connected with!
276
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,528
I think I’ll go take another
look around the Colosseum.
277
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,663
Samantha, come back here!
278
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,431
Uh, she went back to Rome.
279
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,034
Uh, to roam around
the house again.
280
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:38,671
Mrs. Kravitz,
I’m afraid
there’s some mistake.
281
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,973
Any show that I’ve been
connected with
has been strictly
282
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:42,241
on the up and up.
283
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,943
If you want
a refrigerator
and a rotisserie,
284
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,478
you’ll just have
to go out and buy one.
285
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,246
Samantha!
286
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:55,755
Yes?
See, that is the kind
of thing I’m in for!
287
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:59,125
Mother! Mother!
288
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,361
(HORSE WHINNYING)
289
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,397
(HORSE SNORTS)
290
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,473
Uh, Mrs. Stephens?
Uh, yes.
291
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,577
I’m Hoho the Clown.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho?
292
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,045
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
293
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,114
I got your name and address
from my producer.
How’s your daughter?
294
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,584
Oh, she’s just fine,
thank you.
295
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,686
You look a little different
without your makeup.
296
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:30,056
I know. Oh, well,
you can’t be on
all the time.
297
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,960
Who’s your friend?
Oh, she’s a present...
298
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,062
For my cute little doll!
299
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:39,031
Where is she?
Ho, ho, ho!
300
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:41,701
Oh, hi there,
Mr. Stephens, sweetie!
301
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,703
How’s your daughter?
Oh, she’s fine, Hoho.
302
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,906
What’s with the pony?
She’s a present
for my cute little doll!
303
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,941
Ho, ho!
Would you hold her, please?
304
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,077
Is she housebroken?
305
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,112
For what she cost me,
she should be.
306
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:57,383
I used the money that I laid
aside for my wife’s
birthday present.
307
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,618
Why?
308
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,952
Beats me.
309
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,755
For some reason or other,
your kid has gotten
under my skin.
310
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:06,492
I can’t stop
thinking about her.
It’s like I’m in her power.
311
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,095
You’re not in her power.
You’re in...
Darrin.
312
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,764
Oh. Uh, these are
for her too.
313
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:16,536
And this too.
(CHUCKLES)
314
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,947
Where is she?
I’m longing to be near her!
315
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:31,050
Darrin,
why don’t you go upstairs
and get Tabatha?
316
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,753
I’ll, uh,
take the pony
outside.
317
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,988
Come on.
318
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:39,959
I’m gonna see her!
I’m gonna see my cute
little doll!
319
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,261
Hoo, hoo, hee, hee!
(CHUCKLES)
320
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,599
Ho, ho, ho! Ho!
321
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,370
Mother! Mother,
I want to see you!
322
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,242
Mother, if you don’t
come here right
this second,
323
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,411
I’ll never let you see
Tabatha again.
324
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,414
Samantha,
I’m surprised at you.
325
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,784
Stooping to blackmail?
Shh!
326
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:09,188
Where have you been?
I’m spending the weekend
in Mexico City.
327
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,190
Oh, well, I never would
have looked there.
328
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,326
Care for a bite
of taco, dear?
329
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,293
No!
330
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:17,196
Mother,
I’m very annoyed
with you!
331
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,198
About what?
332
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:22,134
(GASPS)
Darwin needs a haircut.
333
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,839
I am in no mood
for any of your jokes.
334
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:31,077
I am annoyed with you
because of what you did
to Hoho the Clown.
335
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,112
Oh, that!
336
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,648
Hasn’t it worn off?
337
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:38,217
Worn off? It’s worse!
338
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:41,921
Now, Mother, he’s in there.
Now, I want you to take that
spell off immediately,
339
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,589
without any further ado!
340
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,890
Oh!
341
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:55,234
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’m getting back
to Mexico City.
342
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:58,270
I’m lunching with
a very handsome bullfighter.
343
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,473
Adios, muchacha.
344
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,142
Ole.
345
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,148
Here she is, Hoho.
Here’s your cute
little doll.
346
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,351
What’s so cute about her?
You’ve seen one kid,
you’ve seen them all.
347
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,887
Did I bring a pony
in here?
348
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,189
Ah, where’s my pony?
349
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,191
It just happened to...
Sam, what happened?
350
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:20,526
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Well, I uh,
351
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:21,661
Here, honey.
352
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,630
Mmm-hmm.
Uh, excuse me,
Hoho.
353
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,735
It’s your daughter,
Stephens. I hired
a detective,
354
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,737
and he found out
it’s your daughter.
355
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:35,307
When Mr. Solow called me
at the club and told me,
I was shocked beyond belief!
356
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,576
I couldn’t speak.
Words failed me.
357
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,714
Aha, look who’s
here.
358
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,984
Uh, hi, sponsor, baby.
Ho, ho, ho, ho?
359
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,920
Don’t "ho,
ho" me, you ingrate.
You and Stephens here have
360
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,422
entered into
a conspiracy
361
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,524
to drive the Solow
Toy Company out
of business!
362
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,192
After all I’ve done
for you.
363
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,361
As close as we’ve been,
like father and son.
364
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,330
Darrin, if you needed money,
if you needed toys,
365
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,933
why didn’t you come to me
and say so?
366
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,103
Larry, are you trying to say
that you knew nothing
about this?
367
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,938
Yes.
368
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,473
Effective immediately,
369
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:11,444
the Hoho the Clown program
is hereby canceled.
370
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,813
But you can’t do that
to the children of America.
371
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,283
You have no alternative.
And I have no alternative
372
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,485
but to ask you
to tender your resignation.
373
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,454
Darrin, you’re through!
374
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:25,124
So is my account
with McMann and Tate.
375
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:30,763
Mr. Solow, that won’t
be necessary now that Stephens
is no longer with the agency.
376
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,933
I want you to know
I consider his
actions illegal,
377
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,634
unethical, shocking...
378
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,806
Sam, what did you do?
I had to do something.
379
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:44,310
I froze them
so you and I can discuss
how to get out of this.
380
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,078
Is the spell off Hoho?
Oh, yes, yes.
381
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,215
We just have to
figure out a way
to bail him and you out.
382
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,318
Let’s see.
We can say, uh...
383
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:55,254
We can say... No.
384
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,156
(GASPS)
We can say
it’s a publicity stunt!
385
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,491
A publicity stunt!
Yeah.
386
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:01,393
For what?
Uh...
387
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,262
For a cute little doll.
388
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,171
They look like twins!
389
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,707
Well, thank you.
390
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:19,345
Uh, now I have to make
Hoho believe he was
all part of it.
391
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,015
Honey, what do
I say?
392
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,884
Well, let’s see.
Uh, well,
393
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,987
I’ll start the ball rolling,
then you take over
and run with it.
394
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,922
Mmm-hmm. Oh, hold it.
395
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,732
...Disgusting, despicable
and humiliating.
396
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:42,801
Mr. Solow, my husband
would like you to meet
397
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:46,739
the newest member
of the Solow family,
the Tabatha doll.
398
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,708
The what?
The Tabatha doll.
399
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:52,745
Uh, Darrin thought of it,
and I designed it...
400
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,282
In my spare time,
using our
daughter as the model.
401
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,584
Then Hoho put
the real Tabatha
on television
402
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:01,320
and played favorites with her
to create public interest.
403
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,291
It was a publicity stunt
to promote a new product.
404
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:08,894
Uh, yeah,
and I went along with it
just to help out the sponsor,
405
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,564
even though
it temporarily hurt
my image.
406
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,967
Well, why wasn’t I
consulted?
407
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,069
Well, because, uh...
408
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:18,938
Tate?
Yes, sir?
409
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:19,939
Shut up!
410
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,812
You know something?
411
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:31,250
This is a pretty cute
little doll.
412
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:33,919
And that was a pretty cute
publicity stunt.
413
00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:37,022
And these are
two pretty clever
fellas, huh?
414
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,658
They sure are.
And, Tate?
415
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:40,859
Yes, sir?
416
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,361
You were gonna fire him.
417
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,364
Me, sir?
Tate, I think
you should offer
418
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,700
your humble apologies,
and include Mrs. Stephens.
419
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,835
I think she’s
pretty clever too.
420
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:00,579
Oh, hi, darling!
421
00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:02,881
Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing home
so early?
422
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:06,719
I sneaked away
to watch Hoho
the Clown with you.
423
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,988
Well, isn’t that nice?
(CHUCKLES)
424
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:11,757
Is he gonna reveal
the publicity stunt?
Mmm-hmm.
425
00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:14,593
And he’s going to say,
"In the interest of
fair play,
426
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:17,596
"every loyal viewer
who called in or wrote in
to complain,
427
00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:21,000
"will receive,
absolutely free,
a brand-new Tabatha doll."
428
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,635
Ta-ta-da.
429
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:24,536
Oh, quick!
Come here.
Oh.
430
00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:26,972
Just sit down. Come on.
Sit, like I told you.
431
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,774
If you’re gonna watch it,
you have to sit.
432
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:32,478
Ho, ho, ho!
I’m Hoho the Clown!
433
00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:34,813
(KIDS BOOING)
434
00:23:34,813 --> 00:23:37,383
All you wonderful booers
will be happy to know
435
00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:41,887
that each and every one of you
will receive
a new Tabatha doll,
436
00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:43,856
absolutely free!
437
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:46,959
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
438
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,828
You know,
that’s rather a cute idea.
Whose was it?
439
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,497
Larry’s.
440
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:56,068
Although I persuaded Mr. Solow
to keep his account with us.
(CHUCKLING)
441
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,806
Say, why is Hoho’s picture...
And mine is, uh...
442
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:03,842
Darling, oh...
TABATHA:
Ta-ta-da.
443
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,146
Well?
I don’t know.
444
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:10,649
I fixed it this morning.
Well, I’ll just fix it again.
445
00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,758
Hello, Durwood.
446
00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:25,964
Sam, about your mother.
447
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:29,568
(STUTTERING) Well, Darrin,
I didn’t know any, uh...
448
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:32,538
Not in front of the baby.
449
00:24:39,378 --> 00:24:41,780
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
35417
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