All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E14 Samantha for the Defense_track3_[eng]

SAM:
It wasn’t Aunt Clara’s fault.

She was only trying to get
an electrician to fix my lamp.

But she got
Benjamin Franklin instead.

An understandable mistake...
For Aunt Clara.

Well, Mr. Franklin
is such a marvelous man

and so many of his inventions
are taken for granted today,

that it seemed a shame
not to show him around
the 20th century.

Everything would have been
just fine,

if only he hadn’t wanted
to examine that fire engine.

The judge wasn’t
sympathetic at all.

He charged Mr. Franklin
with grand theft.

I’m sure we could have
straightened everything out,

if Aunt Clara hadn’t
remembered the spell to make
Mr. Franklin disappear.

Where is he? Mr. Franklin?
Mr. Franklin!
Oh, no!

Oh, I remembered!
I remembered!

Oh!
Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara,
you’ve got to bring him back,

or we’re out $1,000!

(MUMBLING)
What?

Now she remembers.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE RINGING)
Yes, Helen.

Mr. Stephens, there’s
a gentleman from the District
Atorney’s office to see you.

Well, um, send him in.

Mr. Stephens.
Chuck Hawkins.

I’ll be prosecuting Benja...
Mr. Franklin for the city.

Well, won’t you sit down,
Mr. Hawkins?
Thank you.

I, uh... I hope you don’t
think that I had anything
to do with this.

You know, Mr. Stephens, lots
of people have the idea that

the District Attorney’s
office

is only interested in
convicting people and sending
them to jail.

You mean,
you have a bad public image.

Well, the truth is, we’re
dedicated public servants.
We’re concerned about people.

You know, plenty of mayors
and governors have started
in my job.

And it would certainly
be a shame

to hurt a budding political
career by an unpopular case.

Now, if I thought
the crime was serious,
I’d prosecute to the hilt.

But, after all, taking
a fire engine. So the old
guy’s a little eccentric.

No one was hurt.
So, instead of subjecting
the people of this city

to a long
and expensive trial...
With lots of publicity.

My office is prepared
to reduce the charge
to disturbing the peace.

Now, if Mr. Franklin
will just plead guilty,

I can assure you he’ll get
a suspended sentence
or a light fine.

Mr. Hawkins, I take back
everything I’ve ever
said about the D.A.’s office.

(LAUGHS)
We don’t have to wait four
weeks for a misdemeanor.

Just have him down
at Division 20
day after tomorrow.

Darrin, have you seen this
about your friend
Ben Franklin?

It’s terrific!
Oh, sorry to interrupt.

You know, you can’t buy
this kind of publicity.

I’d like you to meet
Mr. Hawkins
of the D.A.’s office.

How do you do?
How do you do?

The Franklin Electronics
Corporation are going to be
in seventh heaven!

What a send-off
for the campaign.
So it was a gimmick, huh?

Stephens,
the charge is grand theft.

And I intend to see
that Franklin, or
whoever he is,

is prosecuted
to the full extent of the law.

Mr. Hawkins, is the trial back
to four weeks away?

And lose all this publicity?
(CHUCKLES)

Day after tomorrow, Stephens.
Felony court.

Oh, now there are
TV people outside.

And it’s attracted
the entire neighborhood.
Oh.

Aunt Clara,
you have to remember
that spell.

We have to get Benjamin
Franklin back here.
(DOORBELL RINGS)

Yes. Yes.
Uh-oh.
I’ll try and stall them.

Samantha Stephens?
I’m Bill Whalen of WXIW News,

and I’d like to speak
to Mr. Franklin, please.

I’m sorry,
but he has no comment.

Oh, but even no comment
from Mr. Franklin is news.
Where is he?

Now, that’s funny.
I’ve got something in my eye.

Why don’t you come back
when you’ve gotten it out?

She did it!
She wiggled her nose!
I saw her!

I saw the whole thing
from the beginning!

First, pow!
Benjamin Franklin. Next...

Next what?
Uh, who are you?

Franklin Pierce, sir,
14th President
of the United States.

Aunt Clara!
Oh, I missed it again.

Did I, uh, see
what I thought I saw?

Must have been that something
in your eye.

Aunt Clara,
when you got
Benjamin Franklin,

you were trying for
an electrician to fix my lamp.

Yes, that was the spell,
but I couldn’t work it out.

Oh, that Gladys Kravitz is
telling that television

reporter everything
she’s seen!

And then she raised her arms
like this

and said, "Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps..."

Yeah, yeah, lady. Sure.
She did!

She said it all!

Aunt Clara,

did it begin, "Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps"?

Oh, that’s it, that’s it!
Hark ye, Witches who live
in lamps!

Oh, yes. Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps.

Sam, don’t let her
point at me!

Darrin,
where’d you come from?

Well, I saw the crowd outside,
so I snuck around back.

What is going on?

Aunt Clara’s remembered
the spell.

Good ahead, Aunt Clara.
Oh.

Hark ye...

Hark ye,
Witches who live in lamps,

uh, the power of watts
and uhms and amps,

uh, and, and, um,

the wizards
of AC/DC transmission,

send to me an electrician!

As you were saying,
Mr. Stephens...

Oh! Mr. Franklin,
thank heaven you’re back!

I wasn’t aware that I’d left.

But if this is the reception
you give return voyagers,

I must go away more often.

What has transpired
during my absence?

Well, for one thing,
the trial’s day after
tomorrow.

Day after tomorrow?

And the District Attorney’s
out for blood.

He thinks this whole thing is
some kind of
advertising stunt.

Darrin, sh-shouldn’t we get
Mr. Franklin a lawyer?

DARRIN: Honey, we can’t!
What could we tell him?

Mr. Franklin,
couldn’t you defend yourself?

No, that might be unwise, sir.
The man who defends himself
in court

has a fool for a lawyer
and a jackass for a client.

Abraham Lincoln said that.

Abraham who?

Whoever,
he stole it from me.

SAM:
Maybe Darrin’s right.

After all, Mr. Franklin,
you are innocent.

Mrs. Stephens, it’s the
innocent
who need an attorney.

The guilty can lie
for themselves.
(GASPS)

Oh, I like that.
Remind me to remember that.

Uh...
May I also remind you
that I told you

the District Attorney
thinks this whole thing
is a publicity stunt

and he’s going to use that
to turn the jury’s sympathy
against Mr. Franklin?

Well, we know it isn’t true.

The only way we can get
public sympathy on our side

is for the people to see
and hear Mr. Franklin.

Sam, there isn’t time.
The trial is one day away.

Darling, you forget
you’re married to a witch.

Now, I can’t change
public opinion,

but I can help it along
a little bit.

Boys and girls,

for today’s
Celebrity Day assembly,

we are honored
to have with us

a member of America’s team
of astronauts.

It is a great pleasure
to present to you

someone who could be
the first American
on the moon...

Benjamin Franklin.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you.

Oh. Oh, yes,
Samantha, dear. Yes.

Yes, I think I can
handle that.
Right. Right away.

And that, ladies and
gentlemen, wraps up this

edition of WXIW
afternoon news.

This is Bill Whalen signing
off until 6:00 this evening.

Correction, please.
There seems to
be one more item.

In response to the sudden wave
of Benjamin Franklin fever

which is sweeping the city,
this station invites
all interested viewers

to call us collect
to express their opinion.

Oh! I did it! I did it!

Oh, won’t Samantha
be pleased!

STEELE: (ON RADIO)
This is The Real Don Steele
happening on Boss Radio, baby.

And those were the Nebishes
with their latest release

Snarl, Baby, Snarl
If You Love Me.

And now, gang,
what you have
been waiting for.

The number one sound on
the all new Big
Boss 30 survey,

Ben Franklin delivers
a speech

to the Pennsylvania
Constitutional Convention.

How about that, fun devils?

I like it, I like it.

There’s a front-page story
on Mr. Franklin
in every paper.

Mmm-hmm. They’ve been talking
all day about
it on television.

Shall I turn it on?
Oh, no, please.
Please, Aunt Clara.

Enough’s enough.
That was Larry on the phone.

He can’t get it through
his head
that all this publicity

isn’t somehow connected
with the Franklin Electronics
Account.

Um, will it help, sir, if I
speak to the
gentleman myself?

Oh, no, no, Mr. Franklin.
About the only thing
that would help now

is for you to be acquitted
and then just to...

Disappear.

I understand.
But what if I’m
not acquitted?

What would you do
if you’re convicted?

I’d go to jail, madam.

I wish you were
a little more optimistic.

Optimists, madam, believe
that all will turn out
for the best.

They are, therefore,
constantly disappointed.

I, on the other hand,
prepare myself for the worst.

Should it not occur,
I am delightfully surprised.

Oh! That’s cute.

Now, if you will excuse me,

I must get back to preparing
my address to the court.

Stop worrying.

(GAVEL RAPPING)
Uh-uh. Start.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

I intend to prove
that the defendant,
whoever he is,

has used the honored name
of Benjamin Franklin

as part
of an advertising campaign,

the sole purpose of which
is to sell transistor radios.

Now, unfortunately,
there’s no law against
tasteless advertising.

But in the process
of his activities,

the defendant made a mistake.

He stole a valuable
public monument,
a rare old fire engine

that was on display
in front of Fire Station
Number Three.

Now, such a crime is more
serious than ordinary theft

because the man who steals
public property

steals not only from one man,
but from everyone.

Oh, an excellent point,
an excellent point.

It’s your turn, Mr. Franklin.

FRANKLIN: Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

human reason
is a very uncertain thing

because two people can arrive
at diametrically opposed

positions from the
same premise.

Consequently, I think
that a good, sure instinct

is worth a great deal more.

Now, the District Attorney,
I fear, has set himself
a very difficult task.

First he must prove
that I stole a fire engine.

Now, what motive
could a man have
for stealing a fire engine,

unless, of course, he needed
one to put out a fire?

And, second,
the District Attorney
must prove

that I am not Benjamin
Franklin but, in fact,
an impostor.

If he succeeds,
I shall have to conclude

that not only have I been
mistaken as to my identity
all these many years,

but that my honored father
and mother were somewhat
confused at my birth.

You are the head librarian
at the main branch
of the public library?

That’s right.
And is that the man

who walked into your library
a few days ago?

Yes, that’s him,
Benjamin Franklin.

Just yes and no will do.

What happened
when he approached you?

Well, of course,
there was quite a disturbance.

I mean,
everyone started whispering.

And you can’t have
that sort of thing
in a library.

I mean,
there are signs all over.

HAWKINS: Then you would say
he definitely
created a disturbance?

Yes.
Uh, what else did he do?

He wanted to pay a library
fine on a book that was
200 years overdue.

He wanted to pay
a library fine

on a book that was overdue
for 200 years.

Not exactly. You see, he
didn’t actually have the book.

But he said that
he had neglected to return it,

and it had been
on his conscience
for 200 years.

Your witness, sir.
No questions, Your Honor.

You’ve made my point.
I’m nothing,
if not an honest man.

You mean to say
that the defendant actually

walked out on the stage and
made a speech to the students
in the auditorium?

Yes, sir. He did.
Well, had you planned
to have him speak?

No, we planned
a totally different speaker.

I don’t even know
why I announced him.

HAWKINS:
So he completely disrupted
your assembly?

PRINCIPAL:
Well, at first he did,
but then...

Naturally,
you were outraged.
Well, yes, in the beginning...

Please, just...
Just answer the question.

He’s trying to,
but you won’t let him finish.

Boy, would I love
to put a hex on him.

How do you think he’d look
as a duck?
Sam!

Go on, sir. But what?

Well, I just wanted to say
that he gave the finest speech
I’ve ever heard.

He talked about America
as the land of opportunity,

an education
as something precious.

Even more precious because
it was available to everyone.

What was the reaction
of the students?

PRINCIPAL:
Well, you know modern kids
are pretty sophisticated.

They can tell a phony
a mile off.

But you could have heard a pin
drop while he was speaking.

And afterwards, they cheered
him for five minutes.

Thank you.

Any more questions
for this witness, Counselor?

No more questions, Your Honor.

No questions, Your Honor.

I think
if the jury went out now,
they’d convict the D.A.

Well, I’m ready to
rest my case.

I call Darrin Stephens
to the stand.

If only he were ready
to rest his.

And have you ever discussed
the idea

of using Benjamin Franklin
as part of an advertising
approach

to the Franklin Electronics
Account?

I never brought it up.

Well, did anyone in your
office bring it up?

Uh, yes.

Who?
My boss.

HAWKINS: Mr. Stephens,
I just have one more question.

Who is that man
sitting at that table?

Remember, you’re under oath.

To the best of my knowledge,
Benjamin Franklin.

Does he really believe that?

You know something
even crazier?

I’m beginning to believe it.

And when Mrs. Stephens
introduced me,

she said they were going
to a costume party.

But I knew that wasn’t true.

You see, she...
HAWKINS: You, uh, didn’t
believe her?

Oh, of course not.
I knew how he had gotten
there. They cast...

HAWKINS:
Did Mr. Tate, Mr. Stephens’
boss, join you then?

But I wanted to tell you...
What did he say?

He said, "Good night, Ben."

And then he sort of winked.

Thank you, Mrs. Kravitz.
That’ll be all.

But don’t I get to tell you
what I know about her?

Only if someone asks you.

Your witness, Mr. Franklin.

Mr. Franklin,
you can’t cross-examine her.

But I must.
Her testimony’s very damaging.

It’ll be a lot more damaging
if she gets a chance to go on.

No questions, Your Honor.

That’ll be all, madam.
You may step down.

Well!

The prosecution rests,
Your Honor.

This court will recess
for 15 minutes.

(GAVEL RAPPING)
Time to start worrying
again, right?

Right. It was going fine
until I got on the stand.

I’m afraid,
with Mr. Stephens’ testimony
and that of the Kravitz woman,

the District Attorney
has established
a plausible motive

for someone taking
a vintage fire engine.

Vintage fire engine.

Vintage! I’ll be right back.

Mr. Franklin,
call me as your next witness.

FRANKLIN:
Would you tell the jury,
Mrs. Stephens,

where you got the plaque
you hold in your hand?

From the fire engine
at Station Number Three.

Would you read the
inscription, please?

"Benjamin Franklin
Memorial Fire Engine."

Your Honor, I’d like to enter
this plaque as Exhibit A.

Your Honor,
may I ask a question?

If it’s relevant.
How can the
District Attorney

accuse Mr. Franklin
of stealing
his own property?

He hasn’t proved
he is Benjamin Franklin.

And you, sir, have not proved
that I am not.

(GAVEL RAPPING)

I will admonish this gallery
only once.

Another outburst like that,
and I’ll have this courtroom
cleared.

Thank you, Your Honor.
No more questions.

Do you believe the defendant
is Benjamin Franklin?

Yes.
How can you be so sure?

All you have to do is look
at him and listen to him talk.

That’s no answer.
How do you know?

Well, if he isn’t,

why would he have tried to pay
for a book that was 200 years
overdue?

Mrs. Stephens, do you know
the penalty for perjury?

Oh, hush up.
Your Hon...

Now, I don’t see
that it makes any
difference

whether he’s Benjamin Franklin
or not.

He represents Mr. Franklin,
doesn’t he?

Now, the District Attorney
accuses him of creating
a disturbance in the library.

But he doesn’t mention
the fact

that he was honest enough
to pay a 200-year-old fine

or that Benjamin Franklin
created the first
public library.

He also accuses him
of taking a fire engine.

But he doesn’t mention
the fact

that Benjamin Franklin started
the first volunteer
fire department.

Aren’t you going to object
to this, Counselor?

Doesn’t look that way,
Your Honor.

Now, it seems to me that,
whoever he is,

all this gentleman has done
since he’s been here

is to remind us of the
wonderful things that Benjamin
Franklin has done

and of the heritage of wisdom
that he left us.

Now, if I were
the District Attorney,

I’d want to thank him
instead of trying to send him
to jail.

(APPLAUSE)

Objection!

I think you’re a little late,
Counselor.

Congratulations, Mr. Franklin.
Thank you, sir.

I knew you could do it.
Congratulations, Mr. Franklin.

Thank you, sir.
That was a great speech, Sam!

Oh, thank you, Larry.
(GAVEL RAPPING)

Mr. Franklin,

this jury has found you
not guilty,

a judgment
in which the court concurs.

You are free to go,
but I would like to ask you
one question.

Do you intend to continue
being Benjamin Franklin?

Your Honor,

I believe that a man’s wisdom,
if he have any,

should be left
to future generations

to measure against
their own circumstances.

If a man lives
beyond his time

and attempts to impose old
notions upon new generations,

he puts himself
in very grave danger

of losing any claim
to wisdom at all.

Therefore, Your Honor,

although I shall continue
to be Benjamin Franklin,

for I can do no other,

I shall no longer be
that untimely gentleman
in your gracious company.

Good day, sir.

Well, if he isn’t,
he ought to be.

Court’s adjourned.
(RAPS GAVEL)

Aunt Clara, I don’t think
this is such a good idea.

Mr. Franklin, you said
yourself it was
time to go back.

And so I shall, sir,

after this dear lady and I
have a night, as you put it,
on the town.

But didn’t you once say,
"Early to bed,
early to rise

"makes a man healthy,
wealthy and wise"?

Yes, I did, I did.
But that was before
the electric light.

Don’t you think that your
escort should be more
appropriately dressed?

I’ll get
one of Darrin’s suits.

No, no, no, no.
I can do it.

Is this a button loose
on your coat, Mr. Franklin?
Well, I hadn’t noticed.

Tarrel, tarrel,

morning glorious.

Correct "appel"...
Apparel,

sartor sartorious.

Ooh! Oh, I goofed again.

Oh, no!

No, Aunt Clara.
You look beautiful!

Madam, you are
a vision of loveliness.

Oh, I congratulate you all
for living in this marvelous
20th century

where such things
are possible.

Oh, let us go on, madam.

Well, uh, don’t wait up,
children.

Good night.

Oh!

Oh, I’m sure they’ll be
all right, sweetheart.

After all,
they’re both over 200.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)