All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E11 Oedipus Hex_track3_[eng]

Mrs. Dumont?
You shouldn’t tempt me,
Mrs. Stephens.

I’ve already had
too many.

Well, just
perhaps this one.

Mmm.
They’re delicious.

More tea?
No, thank you.
I really must be running.

But you know, I’m so glad
you’ve agreed to serve on our
ways and means committee.

You know, it’s a good cause.
And the children
really need

that new playground equipment
in the park.

Oh, I know.

And I’m looking forward
to working with Mrs. Wheeler
and Mrs. Albright.

Oh, they’re both such dears.

And you know, they know
just how to get into

every piggy bank
in the community.

Will you be here
tomorrow?

No, I’m afraid not, my dear.
I’ve got two other meetings.

Oh, Mrs. Dumont.
You do so much.

As Herkimer says,

it, uh, keeps me
out of mischief.
(CHUCKLES)

But I’ll try to drop by and
see how you’re getting along.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I’m off to the junior
philharmonic meeting.

I don’t know how
I ever got involved
in that.

I know very little
about music.

Good-bye.

Um...

You know,
I’ll just hate myself
in the morning.

Thank you.
Good-bye.

Bye.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Good morning,
Samantha.

Uh, good morning, Mother.

What brings you here
so early?

Sheer boredom,
darling.

Is, uh...
Is what’s-his-name
up yet?

Yes, Darrin is up.

But I hated to wake him.
He had a rather
restless night.

Fair enough.

I wish he could forget
his work once in a while.

Oh, dear, without their work,
men are nothing.
They’re like little children.

Not Darrin.

He thrives on
the aggravation.

He loves feeling
sorry for himself.

Well, personally,
I’d like to have him around
a little bit more.

He’d just be
underfoot, darling.

Trailing you all around
the house.

Sucking his thumb.
Dragging his teddy bear.

All mortal men
are like that.

You just don’t know Darrin.

You won’t take
your wise old mother’s word
about human men, will you?

No.
Well, you’ll learn.

I haven’t got time
for breakfast, honey.
ENDORA: Hello, uh, uh...

Uh...

Darrin!

Oh.
That’s right.

Please, Endora,
not on an empty stomach.

Stop it, you two.

Talk about children.
Now, darling, five minutes
won’t make any difference.

Sit down and have
something to eat.

I’m too tense anyhow.
I’ll see you tonight, honey.

Popcorn for breakfast?

Why not?

I’ll have
that breakfast now.

Darrin, what happened?

Nothing.
I just got smart.

I got outside and said
to myself, "What are you
knocking yourself out for?

"Just how important
is it, anyhow?

"Let Larry take care of it."

Well, darling,
I’m proud of you.

I’m not going in
at all today.
Good.

You’ve been doing a lot
of extra work lately.
You deserve a day off.

It’s astonishing
how relaxed I feel
about it.

I’ve a little shopping to do,

and the TV man’s coming.
Can I leave Tabatha with you?

Feel free.
(CHUCKLES)

Sorry mother left.
That makes one of us.

I just wanted her to see
that you can relax
and forget your work.

I’ll fix your breakfast.
Thank you.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Come in.

Milk.

No kidding. I thought
you were the mailman.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, how about some nice
cottage cheese today?

Mmm...

Come on, Mr. Stephens.
Be a nice fella.

My boss keeps bugging me
about my cottage cheese quota.

Hmm.
That kind, huh?

Oh, you got no idea...

The problems your
average milkman has.

To begin with,
I’m dealing with women
all day long.

One wants mango flavoring
in her yogurt.

Another one
keeps complaining

that my nonfat milk has
too much fat in it.

And all the time
I’m standing there,

she keeps dipping in
to a five-pound box
of chocolates.

Yeah!

(LAUGHS)
That sounds like
a bad scene, all right.

(GROANING)

Hey, how come you’re home
today, Mr. Stephens?

Simple. I didn’t feel
like going in today.

I like that.

He just didn’t feel
like working today.

Yeah!

DARRIN: Pour yourself
a cup of coffee.

Right.
Sit down.

Here.
Here’s the sports section.

Right. Now, that’s
what I call a nice,
healthy attitude.

My philosophy is
cottage cheese is
your boss’s problem.

Yeah?
(LAUGHING)

Beautiful!

Mr. Stephens was due here
for a meeting with me
half an hour ago.

Call his home.
Yes, sir.

(PHONE RINGING)

That’s the phone.
Hello, phone.

(CONTINUES RINGING)

Eh, it’s not gonna stop.

Happiness house.

Darrin?

Hello, Larry.
How are you, buddy boy?

No, I’m not sick.
I’m feeling great.

It’s my boss.

Are you out of your mind?

Mr. Parkinson is on his way
over here.

(SNICKERING)

Relax, relax.
What?

Let me talk to him.
Just a minute, Larry.

Hello, Larry.

This is your
friendly purveyor
of dairy products.

What?
The milkman.

Listen, Larry,

I want you to stop
needling my pal
Darrin here.

If he don’t wanna come in,
he don’t wanna come in.
You got it?

Good-bye.

(GIGGLING)

Hey, who do you like
in the fourth race?

Something wrong,
Mr. Tate?

His milkman just
chewed me out.

I better get over there
and get him

before the squirrels do.

You know what I enjoy
more than anything?

Just lying around taking it
easy watching some other guy
knock himself out.

Yeah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)

You fellas
are a big help!

What happened?
The cows turn off
the faucets today?

I detect a note
of hostility there.

Sure, I’m hostile.

I deal with nuts all day long,
and you fellas are
no exception.

Do you mind if I join you?

That’s the spirit!
Sit down!

Be our guest!

The way I feel,
I may never fix
another set.

Darrin?
Hi, Larry.

What is going on here?
What’s doin’?

Darrin, you’re coming with me
to the office right now!
(TURNS TV OFF)

Hey, fella, we happened
to be watching that show.

What?
And ruin my whole day?

Uh, Larry, do you mind taking
your high blood pressure
someplace else?

What?
Darrin, for heaven’s sake!

DARRIN: You know what’s
wrong with you, Larry?

Yeah, the people
working for me.

Knock it off, Larry.

You’ve got a great bunch
of people working for you.

Like me, for instance.

You just take things
too seriously, that’s all.

Why don’t you just
relax, pal?

Now, just a second.
You’re not my pal.

Pal.

Larry, you’re getting
all worked up
over nothing.

Now, just how important
is Parkinson?
I mean, really.

That’s a very interesting
question. Let’s see, now.

Parkinson.
Who’s he?

(ALL LAUGHING)

I think you’re bluffing.

I will raise you
another million.

LARRY: Okay.
There’s that million,

And I’ll up you
another million.

Hello, everybody.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Stephens.

Hi, Sam.
Hi, sweetheart.

Hello, darling.

Throw in a million
for me. I call.

You’re in.
What do you got?

A pair of threes.
What about you?

(LAUGHS)

I was bluffing.

Honey, we just made
$15 million.

Well, these groceries
cost $17 million.

Easy come, easy go.

Darrin, uh,
would you please take these
into the kitchen for me?

Sure.
If you can’t wait,
deal me out.

MILKMAN:
We’ll wait.
Got nothin’ else to do.

How about some sandwiches
for us, honey?

Uh, hold it, smiley.

Yeah?
I’m very glad to have
you home, but...

Why, thank you, sweetheart.
Sandwiches?

All right,
but would you mind
telling me what’s going on?

What are Larry
and the milkman
and the TV man doing here?

Well, you know how I decided
not to go to work today?
Mmm-hmm.

The idea
kind of caught on.
That’s strange.

Not at all.

Now, darling, you know I have
a very important committee
meeting this afternoon,

So I’ll need
the living room.
Oh, that’s right.

Would you mind
telling the fellas?
I will right now.

Thank you.
We’ll move the game
out to the patio.

Hmm.

(MEN LAUGHING)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(MEN CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Hello, Mrs. Stephens.

I’m Sarah Albright
and this is Mary Wheeler.

Oh, do come in, and please,
call me Samantha.

Thank you.

Oh, what a lovely
home you have.
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

Oh, that’s
my husband.
He took the day off.

Oh. How nice
that he can do that.

Oh, you have the table
all set up for us. Good.

We can get
right down to work.

I can’t tell you how much
I’ve been looking forward
to this.

Let me warn you.
Once you get involved,

Lucille Dumont will see to it
that you’re kept very busy
with committee work.

I like the feeling
of being useful.

After all, our little daughter
will be using that playground
equipment someday.

Hey, Sam, Darrin says
we need more sandwiches.

Oh, hi, there, ladies.

Tell Mr. Stephens that
I’m very busy at the moment.

Right.

Isn’t that our milkman?

I was wondering what happened
to him this morning.

He’s some sort of
self-made philosopher,

and he and my husband
got into a deep discussion.

(MEN SHOUTING AND LAUGHING)

And I said
to Sgt. McGreevey,

"Good-bye, Sarge.
When I get back,

"I’m gonna tell the keeper
of the gorilla cage
to expect you."

TV REPAIRMAN:
That’s funny. I said
the same thing to my sergeant.

MILKMAN:
No kiddin’?

That’s what I said to mine!

Isn’t that a coincidence?
I said practically
the same thing!

(ALL LAUGHING)
You’re putting me on!

Look.
I’ve got a very short fuse,
and it’s burning!

But Mr. Parkinson...

I’m a very busy man,
and my time’s worth
a lot of money.

I’m gonna send McMann and
Tate a bill for the half-hour
I’ve been waiting...

And in another five minutes,
I go on double time!

I’ll try to reach them
for you, Mr. Parkinson.

You do that.

Well, how about
a raffle?

Let’s say
50 cents a ticket?

That means we’d have to
sell 2,000 tickets.

What about 75 cents
a ticket?

That sounds better.
(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, excuse me.
I’ll get it, honey.

Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
Let’s see.

Hello.
Oh, hi, Ms. Stewart.

Yeah, we’re here.

Mr. Parkinson’s there?
Well, I guess never
the twain shall meet.

It’s Parkinson.
Oh, give him
my regards.

Mmm-hmm.
Sure, I’ll talk to him.

Hello, Parky.
How are ya?

Larry sends his regards.

Now, cool it, Parkinson.

Sure we have the layout.
The layouts are great.
Excuse me.

But today just isn’t the day
for a conference.

The moon’s out of whack

or the planets are
in the wrong quarter
or something...

Darrin!
Will you please keep
your voice down?

Oh, sorry, honey.
Hey, Parky, I can’t
talk to you anymore.

You’re disturbing
my wife’s committee meeting.

Honey,
about those sandwiches...
Make them yourself.

Okay.
Oh, no, never mind.
On second thought...

Just stay out of the house
and stay out of my way.

But Sam, I can’t eat
any more of that popcorn.

Well, I’m sorry, Larry,
but them’s the conditions
that prevail.

Oh!

Well, I’d be happy to take
the Maple Heights area.

I’m sure I can get
other women to volunteer.

That’s a large area
to cover, Samantha.

Oh, well, it’ll give me
a chance to meet some of
my neighbors.

Also, it’ll give me
an opportunity

to see some
of the houses
from the inside

that I’ve been admiring
from the outside.

We all like to do that,
don’t we?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Well, my goodness.

It’s usually so quiet
around here.

Pardon me.

Where are they?
Who?

Those two idiots,
Tate and Stephens!

Well, if you’re referring
to my husband and his
business associate,

they are in the back yard.

Well, they won’t
be there long!

Now, just a minute!
Don’t let me
disturb your meeting.

Mister...

Uh, that was Mr. Parkinson.
He’s a very important client.

Now, look here, Tate!

Are you still in
the advertising business,

or are you starting
a retirement community?

(LAUGHING) Parkinson,
would you mind turning down
your PA System?

My wife’s having
a very important meeting.

This is an outrage!
You have a confirmed
appointment with me!

Perhaps we should call off
the meeting and have it
some other time.

No. No, no.
I... I’m sorry.
Please, let’s go on.

I chose your agency
because I thought you were
responsible people!

(ALL LAUGHING)
I set aside
the whole day for you!

Well, you’re through
representing
Randolph Parkinson Jr.

as of now!

Hey!

Thanks. Thanks for
the lovely lunch.

(MEN LAUGHING)

Instead of having
just a routine printing job
done on the tickets,

I’ll ask my husband to have
the advertising agency

design something
different and interesting
and arrange for the printing.

Oh, that would be wonderful.
Do you think he’d do it?

I promise you he will.

(DOORBELL RINGS)
Honestly.

Now, who is
the untidy little lady
who parked her car

half on and half
off the curb, hmm?

Uh, do you happen to be
the little lady

who likes to live
so dangerously?

The gentleman is
in the back yard.

I look forward
to meeting him.

Well, go right on through,
Officer. Everybody else has.

I may just
break down and cry.

And there we were,
a bunch of GIs, fresh from
the battle of the bulge,

when we spotted this
French mademoiselle

washing her clothes
down by the river.

Who owns the sedan
parked out front?

Oh, I do, Officer.

(TEARS TICKET)

Aw...
Thanks.

Here. Take care
of this, will you?

Client relations is
your department, Darrin.

Right.
(CHUCKLING)

Happy New Year!

Just what do you think
you’re doing?

I think you’re all crazy.

Deal me in.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(MEN LAUGHING AND CHATTERING)

This is really going
to be quite a job.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

This is too much.

Now, look here...

Oh. Mrs. Dumont.

We were hoping
you’d come.

Well, ladies,
how are we coming along?

Well, we’ve come to...
(MEN CHATTERING LOUDLY)

Good gracious!

LARRY: Hey, there’s
a chicken in here.
Is it dead?

Hey, you got
any bologna?

Excuse me.

What in the world?

Where’s the bread?
Hey, you’re all out of milk.

I got a truck full
of it.

Oh, hi.
Hi.

Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, Sam.

You want a sandwich, Sam?

How about that?

What?
You’ve got to get rid
of all these men.

Honey, they’re just
enjoying themselves,
forgetting their troubles.

Well, do they have to
forget them in our kitchen?

They’re ruining my meeting.

I’m sorry, honey.
I really am.

We appreciated the popcorn,

but we’re hungry.
We’re growing boys!

I didn’t buy any popcorn.

Right there
in the big bowl.

Popcorn.

Fellas, fellas, we owe
the ladies an apology.

We’ve been ruining
their meeting.

Well, let’s all go in there
and apologize.

(ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

We’ll go and apologize,
sweetheart.

After you.
Thank you.

Oh, Darrin. Darrin!

Oh!

Mother.

Now, I know
you’re here somewhere.

Mother, you take the spell
off that popcorn!

Mother!

You need $1,000
and you’re going to bother
people with 75-cent tickets?

That’s ridiculous!

That’s the way
we’ve always done it.

Well, forget it.
We’ll get you
the money, huh?

Right.
Ladies, I think
it’s time we left.

No, you don’t.
You sit right down and we’ll
show you how it’s done.

Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.

For a charming woman
like you, madam,

The world!

All right, men.
Line up by the phone.

Here we go.
Let’s go, Larry.

Speaking for myself,
this is just a waste
of time.

Maybe we should
reconsider the, uh,

composition
of this committee.

Popcorn, ladies,
please?
Ooh, thank you.

How nice.
Thank you.

Mmm...

Hello, Joe?
Randolph Parkinson.

Some ladies are raising money
for playground equipment
in the park.

I got you down
for $100. Good!

Good!

Look, I’ve seen you spend
more than that

at the country club bar
in an afternoon!

Fifty dollars,
you’re down for.

Oh, listen, and put the bite
on Les, Jimmy, and Al.

Stop crying, Jerry.

You live in the community,
don’t you?

And you’ve got a kid.

Loosen up.
You can’t take it with you.

Scratch my back
and I’ll scratch yours,
Mr. Wagoner.

Send in that donation
to the ladies and I’ll double
my cottage cheese quota.

Fair?

Isn’t he cute?

Sergeant, the playground’s in
this precinct, and it’ll keep
the kids off the street.

Well, that’s very generous
of you, Mr. Andrews.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

We made it.
Come on, men.

There you are, ladies.

You’ll have over $1,500
sometime tomorrow.

You oversubscribed.

We’re grateful.

I must say I’ve enjoyed
sitting here and eating
this marvelous popcorn.

But I’m kind of sorry
we shan’t need
our committee anymore.

So am I.

Thank you very much.

Well, not at all.
Not at all.

Well, ladies,
would you like
some cottage cheese?

Chocolate milk for you.
Fresh milk for you.

And non-fat.
Non-fat.

And cottage cheese for you.

All right, Mother.
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

You called me, dear?
All right, Mother.

You’ve had your jollies
for the day.
You’ve had your laugh.

Now, please,
take that spell off.

Anything to please
my little love.

Women and children
first.
Good.

We’ll have a party!
Oh!

I’m half an hour late
for my next meeting.

Oh, I have a roast
in the oven!
I have to pick up Bobby.

(MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

Good-bye.
Good-bye.

Tate. Tate!

Now, where are my layouts?

Fun’s fun and all that,
but business is business!

Right, right.
You’re perfectly right.

Darrin, what are you
doing here? You should
be at the office.

I’m on my way, Larry.

Would you please get your
truck out of my driveway?

Yes, sir, Mr. Stephens.
Hey, would you please buy

a couple of quarts
of cottage cheese
from me, huh, please?

Stop bugging me!

I got a million calls
to make!

I can’t even
finish lunch!

Out of my way!
SERGEANT: Just a moment!

Little souvenir for ya.
Huh?

Oh, thanks.
Here.

Darrin,
you’re client relations.

(SIGHS)

Bye, darling.

It was a very
relaxing morning.
I’ll do this more often.

I hope not.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)