All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E08 Dangerous Diaper Dan_track3_[eng]

Louise, I don’t want
to hear about it. I’m not
interested. I don’t...

Really?

What? Who?

They didn’t?

They did?
Sam?

The Camden’s had a fight,
and he left the house?

Sam?
When?

Last night. And he took
all the wedding presents?

Sam!

Oh, um, hi, sweetheart.
Uh, breakfast will be ready
in a minute.

You said that
20 minutes ago.

Louise, I’ll call you back.
I can’t talk now.

Honey, you know
how I hate gossip.

Darrin, I wouldn’t even listen
to anything about anyone
unless it was good.

And, boy, was that good!

Samantha!
Okay, Darrin.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
I’ll get it.

MAN: It’s diaper day.

Diaper Dan, at your service.
Hi, Mrs. Stephens.

Just put it down
anywhere, Dan.
Ma’am.

Say, you know, Mrs. Stephens,

your husband being
in the advertising business
gave me an idea.

Oh?

Here.
I thought it up myself.

"Compliments
of Diaper Dan."
Oh, isn’t that cute?

Oh no, you keep the rattle,
Mrs. Stephens.

I want your baby
to have the first one
on the block.

Well, thank you, Dan.
That’s very sweet of you.

Well, I gotta be going.

Oh say, did you happen
to see the moving van
in front of the Kirkeby’s?

The Kirkeby’s are moving?
Not only that.
Wait till you hear why.

The fountain of trivia
runneth over.

Dan, I’m not interested.

Well, it’s just that Harry,
Mr. Kirkeby,

and his secretary...
That gorgeous blonde...

How gauche.

Well, maybe just
a word or two.

Sam, for heaven sakes!
Dan?

I really have to be going.
So long, Mrs. Stephens.

Sam, can’t you understand
that loose talk
can be a dangerous thing?

All right, all right, Darrin,
you’re right.
Even Mother agrees with you.

Up to a point.
It’s not that I’m opposed
to gossip, you understand.

It’s this banal, mundane type
that bores me.

Darrin, I was not gossiping.
I was listening.

Besides, who’s going
to know what’s
been said here today?

That’s what Lincoln said
in his Gettysburg Address.

(DARRIN ON TAPE)
How you can even listen
to him is beyond me.

(SAM ON TAPE)
But, darling,
Dan meant no harm.

(DARRIN ON TAPE)
Dan has got a big mouth.

(SOFTLY)
Hello, this is Dragonfly
calling Mother Hubbard. Over.

MAN: Mother Hubbard
calling Dragonfly.
We read you. Go ahead.

Well, it worked.
I planted a mike
in the baby’s rattle.

Everything’s coming in
loud and clear.

Good work.
Report in as soon as you can.
Over.

Roger and out.

Hello, Louise.

Oh, I just had a hunch
it was you.

Yes, Darrin’s left.

Well, we had a few words,
but everything’s
all right now.

Yes. I think it’s just because
he’s been working so hard
on that Wright campaign,

but he’s come up
with some wonderful ideas.

The only good idea he ever
had was marrying you,
I regret to say.

Shh, Mother.
Hmm?

Oh, yes, I’m sure
Larry’s going to love them.

He thought of
a marvelous slogan.

"The Wright pen is
the write pen for you."

Wright. Like in W-R-I-G-H-T.
And write,

like in W-R-I-T-E.

Clever, huh?

Huh!

(SAM ON TAPE)
Like in W-R-I-G-H-T.

And "write" like in W-R-I-T-E.
(LAUGHS) Clever, huh?

I’ll say it is!

Peterson, get right on it.
Use everything
that’s on that tape.

Yes, sir, Mr. Kimberley.

I’ll pull that Wright account
right out
from under McMann and Tate.

What I wouldn’t give to see
Larry Tate’s face when
he makes his presentation.

What do you mean you’ve
already seen
this presentation?

We just finished it
last night.
Isn’t that true, Darrin?

Yes! Mr. Wright, we’ve spent a
great deal of time and thought
on this.

We think it’s very good.

Oh, it’s good. But as I said,
I saw practically the same
thing at the Kimberley office.

At least you
could be more original.

More original?
More original!

Nobody’s more original
than McMann and Tate.
Furthermore, Mr...

Steady, Larry, steady.
Mr. Wright, before you make
any decisions,

we’ll get started on another
presentation right away.

Fair enough?

Fair enough.
I’ll give you 24 hours.

Thank you.

I can’t understand it.
How could Kimberley
come up with the same idea?

Well, it happens, Larry.
It happens.

We’ll just have to chalk
it up to coincidence.
Uh-oh.

Don’t look now,
but guess who just came in.

Who?
Kimberley.

Maybe if we ignore him,
he’ll crawl away.

Well, Tate and Stephens.
This is a coincidence.

(CHUCKLES)
I was just saying
the same thing, A.J.

Were you?
How’s business, Tate?

Oh, make a million,
lose a million.
(LAUGHS)

I just heard about
your tough luck
with the Wright account.

Well, you can’t win them all.
(LAUGHING)

So who says we lost it?

Well, I just
took it for granted.

We’ll think of something, A.J.

I’m sure you will, Stephens.

Just as long as we
don’t think of it first.

Mr. Kimberley, I believe
our table’s ready, sir.

Oh. Well, see you
in the rat race, boys.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

And there goes king rat.
Meaning, you don’t trust
Kimberley.

I wouldn’t trust him as far
as I could throw an elephant.

An elephant.
Larry, that’s it!

I’ve got an idea
for a new presentation.
I’ll see you at the office.

It’s just one of those things,
honey. A coincidence.

Oh, I’m sorry, darling.
You mean,
you lost the account?

Not yet. Your old Darrin’s
still in there pitching.

But I will be working
late tonight.

I’ve got this great idea
about an elephant
and a whole new slogan.

"An elephant never forgets,
but if you do,

"Write it down
with the wright pen
and you’ll always remember."

Oh, that’s marvelous!

Bye, darling.

ENDORA:
Pitch for it. There !

Oh, you want the crackers!
Well, hex it over
for Grandmama.

There.
That’s a good girl.
Mother!

Now what?
Don’t encourage her.
Tabatha, mustn’t twitch.

If Darrin ever catches you,
he’ll be furious.

He’ll never catch me.
Besides, the way your husband
works nights,

I have this peculiar feeling
you’re married
to a night watchman.

It’s an emergency, Mother.
Darrin’s working on
a simply marvelous new idea.

Isn’t he always?

Naturally!
But this one’s a gas.

A... A what?

Oh, that’s advertising talk
for sensational.

I want my rattle.

There you are.
I probably shouldn’t
mention it.

But it really is brilliant.

Darrin has an idea
about using an elephant
and a slogan that goes,

"An elephant never forgets.
If you do, write it down
with a Wright pen,

"And you’ll always remember."

(SAM ON TAPE)
"...you’ll always remember."

How about that?
Great!

Yeah, I like it.

Peterson, rush it
to the art department,
then over to Wright.

Yes, sir.

What?
You couldn’t possibly
have already seen these!

But I have, Mr. Tate,
just an hour ago.

Gentlemen, your lack
of inventiveness
leaves me no alternative,

but to take
my account elsewhere.

Uh, Mr. Wright.
Mr. Wright !

We realize that presentations
can be coincidental.
It’s just one of those things.

But we’ll come up with
the winner, I promise you.

WRIGHT:
Well, I’ll have to make
a decision soon.

DARRIN: Thank you, Mr. Wright.
You won’t be sorry.

Larry!
Larry, take it easy.
Take it easy.

I tell you, there’s a spy
in this company.

Come on, Larry,
You’ve been seeing
too many movies.

Once can be a coincidence.
I’ll buy that.
But twice? Never!

I hate to admit it,
but you may be right.

I know I’m right.

Uh, Larry,
what are you doing?

(SOFTLY) I’m looking
for a hidden microphone.
Your office must be bugged.

What’s this?

So you put it in here, huh,
you little rascal?

Aha!

What’s this?

Larry, this is a job
for professionals.

If there is a mike planted
in here, we’ll never find it.

You’re right.
I’ll get Security
up here at once.

I’ll have every lock replaced
and the combination
of the safe changed.

I’m going to get to the bottom
of this if I have to give
a lie detector test

to everybody in the firm,
including myself... And you!

Thank you.

Larry, is this
really necessary?
Absolutely.

This final presentation
is top secret.

I don’t want you even
to talk to Sam about it.
Now, that’s an order.

Yes, sir.
I was thinking...

Shh, shh.
What’s the matter?

(WHISPERING)
The olive.
The olive?

The olive.

It may be bugged.

A mike?

A pimento.

Oh, hi, sweetheart!

Hi, darling.
Still here, huh?

Oh! (CHUCKLES)
I certainly wouldn’t leave
without waiting

or Mr. Charm to come home.

Oh, now, now, Mother.

Sweetheart, you look tired.
Why don’t you sit down
and unwind?

Dinner will be ready
in a little while.

Honey, hold it!
Hold it!
What in the world?

Larry’s idea.
I’ve got the key here
somewhere.

Really, Durwood.

Aren’t you carrying
this ridiculous cloak and
dagger business too far?

Ridiculous?
Two of my best ideas stolen,
and she calls it ridiculous.

We checked the office,
everything.

Of course.

There’s a bug
in this house.
I beg your pardon!

Mother, Darrin wasn’t
referring to you, were you?
Were you?

No, honey, a bug.
A microphone,
a hidden microphone.

It could be hidden anywhere.
In a lamp, under the table.

Honey, have you discussed
the Wright campaign
with anyone?

No. Only Mother.
I wouldn’t repeat
that drivel.

And Louise on the phone.

The phone? That’s it!
They’ve tapped the phone.

Honey, from now on,
you’re to stay away
from that phone.

You’re not to talk to
anybody. Not to anybody!
Wait just a minute.

Because I casually mention
your campaign to my mother
and your boss’s wife,

are you trying to blame me
for your troubles?

Confiding in a woman
is like broadcasting
by Telstar!

Then you shouldn’t have told
me about it
in the first place.

Well, you shouldn’t
have listened to me!

You don’t have to shout.
I’m not shouting!

Perhaps you’d prefer it if
I didn’t speak to you at all.

That would suit me just fine,
and that would
be like declaring

a global news blackout.

I have a good mind
to go home to Mother!

What for?
Your mother’s always here!

Ohh!

I’m telling you, chief,
they’re not even speaking
to each other. Over.

MAN: Well, don’t just sit
there on your diapers.
Do something. Over.

Leave it to me.
Roger and out.

(SIGHS)

Mother, look.
Aren’t they gorgeous?

Let’s see. Oh!

Ohh, "From Darrin,
with all his trust and love."

Oh, Mother,
isn’t he wonderful?
I was afraid he’d chicken out.

"Darrin,
with love, Samantha."

What a sweetheart.

All right, you can take your
new rattle to bed with you.
Here you go.

Now, come on,
turn around. Let me
get this button fastened.

There. Pretty bow.
Pretty bow
and the kitty cats...

Hi, honey.
Oh! Hi, sweetheart.

Hello, darling.
You look tired.

Yeah, I’ve still got
a lot more work to do
on the Wright presentation.

But, first...

(GASPS)

Oh, Darrin, more roses.

My, you certainly
are extravagant, but sweet.

DARRIN:
I like the tie you sent me.

What do you mean,
"more roses"?
Why, these.

I didn’t send you
any tie.
You didn’t?

Oh, wait a minute. Mother
sent us each a present
to patch up our quarrel.

Endora?
Are you kidding?

Well, sometimes she does what
you don’t expect of her

just to keep you from
thinking that you know
what to expect from her.

Come to think of it, she did
agree with me the other
morning. That’s a switch.

See what I mean?
Mother’s a switchy witch.

Well, this is it, honey.
The meeting’s at 10:00
and it’s our last chance,

so there had better not be
another coincidence.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Will you call me and
let me know how it went?
I sure will. Bye.

Oh, sweetheart,
what about those?

Oh, those are just
rough preliminary sketches
I made.

Wish me luck.
Good luck.

Good morning, Samantha.
Good morning, Mother.

Oh, more roses
from lover boy?

The red ones are from him.

(GASPS) Mother, he came up
with the most marvelous idea
for the campaign.

He was up all night
working on it,
but it was worth it.

Everything’s gonna turn out
just perfectly.

Oh, naturally. Here in
happiness house, it wouldn’t
dare work out any other way.

Pooh.

Have you sunk
to that level of repartee?

Pretty?
What do you mean,
the red roses are from him?

Now, Mother, go ahead,
admit it.
You know you sent the others.

I sent them?

And Darrin wants me
to thank you
for the lovely necktie.

How utterly preposterous!

Not that I wouldn’t like
to give Durwood a necktie.

Very funny.
Sweet, isn’t it?

Oh, Mother, wait a minute.
If you didn’t send them,
who did?

I haven’t
the faintest idea.

And what’s more, I couldn’t
possibly care less.

Well, I care.
(ENDORA LAUGHING)

Um, Pat... Paterson...

Paterson Florist.

Information, could I have
the phone number for
the Paterson Florist, please?

Oh, this is what
she calls brilliant?

He gets paid for this?

Are you sure
there isn’t some mistake?

There’s no reason
in the world for him
to send...

Well, you see he’s our...

You’re positive.
All right, thank you.
Thank you very much.

Diaper Dan?
(CHUCKLES)

Diaper Dan?

Oh, well, since I merely
possess supernatural powers
of the highest degree,

perhaps I’m not expected
to understand.

Would you mind telling me
what is so brilliant

about an astronaut in an ad?
Or this...

Nauseating slogan,
"When you fly to the moon,

"you’ll still be writing
with the Wright pen.

For there’s only one right way
to go into space, and
only one right way to write"?

Whew! Mercy! Of all the
idiotic things I’ve ever...
Mother, listen.

Mother.
What?

Of course!

But "of course" what?

Oh, how stupid!
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Well.

Well, that’s what I was saying

about these scribblings
of your husband’s.
Shh!

(WHISPERING)
Mother?
What?

Do you remember what Darrin
said about a bug
being in the house

that could be
hidden anywhere?

Mother, there it is!
There’s the bug.

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

There goes Diaper Dan!
And thanks to you, there goes
another one of Darrin’s ideas.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

(CLATTERING)

Oh, splendid, Samantha!

Wait till you see this one.
Out of the mouths of babes.

(BABY VOICE)
Something wrong, Dan?

(LAUGHING)
I lost my engine.

Who said that?

I did, Dan, I did.

Can I help?

May I, Samantha?
Be my guest.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, smashing, Mother!

Ohh!
(BACKFIRING NOISES)

(CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, well.

(WHISTLING LIVELY TUNE)

Oh, my!
Goodness me.
Good morning, sweetheart.

Well, you certainly are
in a good mood this morning.

Couldn’t be better.
Coffee’s good,
my paper’s here.

I’ve got a beautiful wife
and a satisfied client.
You couldn’t miss.

The presentation
was sensational. I caught a
glimpse of it the other night.

You saw it ?
Mmm-hmm. And you thought
I couldn’t keep a secret.

Well, what do you know?
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

I’ll get it.

Good morning, Mrs. Stephens.
Good morning, Dan.

You can put it
right over there.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Mrs. Stephens,
there’ll be a drew niver
stopping by.

I mean, a new driver stopping
by for a while.
He’s going on... (STAMMERS)

I mean,
I’m going on vacation.

How nice!
Have a good time.

Good time?
I’m spending a month
at the Country Air rest home.

Did Dan say he was going
to a rest home?
Yes, dear.

Well, he did seem
a little confused.

You might even say
he was...rattled.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)