All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E35 The Catnapper 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

[♪♪♪]

You tired, honey?

Oh, exhausted.

How about you?
Not a bit.

I'm still keyed up
from the party tonight.

[YAWNS]
I was
pretty funny, huh?

[LAUGHS]

Yes, well, now, you relax
and try and get some sleep, huh?

Okay.

Darrin.

Darrin,
you left your light on.

[DARRIN SNORES]

Darrin.

Darrin!

Darrin?
Mm?

You're snoring.

Oh, that's okay, honey.
I don't mind.

[DARRIN SNORING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING LOUDER]

[LOUD SNORING]

[SNORING]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Good morning,
sweetheart.
Oh, hi, honey.

Ready for your
breakfast?

I'll have to pass,
honey. No time.

Oh, Darrin, do you have to
dash off every morning

without breakfast?

You've hardly been home
for dinner either.

I've barely seen you.
I know, sweetheart,

but I have to have the entire
cosmetic campaign ready

for that big sales meeting
tomorrow morning.

Oh.

Well, I have to be in town
this afternoon.

Maybe we can meet
for lunch.

No, I'm having lunch
with an exec

from the cosmetic company.

Some guy named
Toni Devlin.

Perhaps we could meet

for a midnight snack
sometime, stranger.

I'll eat
my lonely breakfast

in lonely silence
and try to be brave.

Go now,
and don't look back.

I have been neglecting you,
haven't I?

I tell you what:

no matter how much work
I have to do tonight,

I'll forget about it,
and come on home

and have dinner with you.
Oh!

Bye, sweetheart.
Bye-bye.

May I join you,
dear?

Oh, hi, Mother.

Your mortal roommate
seems to be getting

the seven-year itch
five years early.

What do you mean
by that remark?

Oh, when a husband
starts working nights,

that's a different
story.

Mother, don't you let your
suspicious little imagination

run away with him.

Seven-year itch, indeed.

But it doesn't have to be
an out and out itch.

All it takes is a little rash.

Do you mind
if we change the subject?

Now, look, I have to go
shopping in town,

so why don't you come,

and then we'll
have lunch together.

Oh, splendid.

Let's go to some place
really chic

and dress to the nines.

Like it?

Perfect.

They're both witches.

Charlie Leach, private eye,

you've really got it made now.

[CHUCKLES]

Charmaine, honey,
sweetheart.

Your loved one is home.

Oh, did I wake you,
honey?

No, I'm all dressed up
for the senior prom.

Baby, I've got
some great news.

Mwah!

You can go
right back to sleep

after I tell you
all about it, huh?

No. Just having
you home

makes me too excited
to sleep.

I only see you
26 hours a day.

Baby, our problems
are over.

Something sensational
happened.

We were finally accepted
on Relief?

Oh, I know things have been
tough up to now, Charmaine,

but I'm onto something
real big.

And you're gonna have diamonds,
a fur, a car,

a yacht and a mansion.

What?

And leave all this?

Oh, I ain't kidding.

It's just that I gotta
figure out one little angle.

Yeah.

How to get the money
direct from the mint

and eliminate
the middle man.

No, I'm serious,
honey.

Do you remember
a few weeks ago

I was doing
a little snoopin'--

I mean, investigating.
--for this baby food company?

Yeah.

And I also remember
they fired you

for all that crazy talk
about witches and black magic.

The only kind of job

you can hold
from that kind of talk

is the social director
at a funny farm.

Oh, I was only kidding
about that.

I've been doing
some investigating on my own,

and I've got
some information

that's gonna be worth
a fortune.

You and me are gonna be
rolling in dough.

[LAUGHS]

Charlie, I don't need to be
rolling in dough.

Right now I'd settle
for you getting a job

that lasts past lunch.

Darrin.

Yeah, Larry?

Meet Toni Devlin
of United Cosmetics.

Be right with you,
Mr. Devlin.

Oh, excuse me,
Miss Devlin.

Made the same mistake
myself.

It's Toni with an I,
not with a Y.

This is Darrin Stephens.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Now,
if you'll excuse me.

Well, won't you sit down,
Miss Devlin.
Thank you.

I was just going over
the art layout

for the campaign.

I'll have the final ones ready
tomorrow morning.

Mr. Stephens,
I hope my being a woman

won't cause us a problem
in working together.

Of course not.
Why should it?

We'll get along
just fine

as long as we keep it
strictly business.

I'm not the least bit interested

in the flirtatious little games
between the sexes.

I hope I make myself clear.

Oh, yeah.
Crystal clear.

Let me say something,
Miss Devlin.

Aren't you being
a trifle presumptuous?

I'm merely going by
the track record
in this business.

Then let me be
the record breaker.

I happen to be
a very happily married man.

I have a lovely wife
and daughter,

and, no offense intended,
but I do find you resistible.

I deserved that.

Forgive me.

Friends?
Friends.

Oh, may we go
to lunch now?

Frankly,
I'm starved.

Okay, but I'm warning you,
lady.

About what?

After lunch, I'm bringing you
back to this office

to show you my etchings!
[LAUGHS]

Mother, I haven't been here
in ages.

Not since Darrin and I
were dating.

We used to call it
"our place."

Oh, that's a man
for you.

When they're chasing you,

there's always some dear, little
romantic "our place."

And after they catch you,
"our place"

is in the kitchen,
with laundromat privileges.

Samantha!

What is it?

Look at that.

This was a favorite spot
of Samantha's and mine

when we were dating.

We used to call it
"our place."

Kind of corny, huh?

But sweet.

You really are in love
with her, aren't you?

She is out of this world.

Well, so what,
Mother.

Darrin said he was
gonna have a business lunch,

with Toni Devlin.

He didn't say that Toni
plucked his eyebrows, did he?

I'm sure it's nothing more
than what he said:

a business lunch.

Samantha, he really
has you brainwashed.

Why?
Because I trust him?

Well, I don't mind you
trusting him.

just don't put so much faith
in that trust.

Now, for once, listen to me,
and let's get out of here.

No, I am not sneaking out
like an eavesdropping wife.

If you don't go,

I'm gonna do
something terrible to him.

I mean it!

This time I'll really turn him
into a frog...forever!

You wouldn't.

He already has a big mouth.

Mother, stop trying
to stir up trouble.

Darrin said he'd be home
for dinner, and he will.

He'll have some
last-minute excuse.

DARRIN:
Sam! I'm home!

The voice of treason.

DARRIN:
Samantha!

In here,
darling.

Mother, try and be pleasant
to him.

Am I ever
anything else?
Oh, ho, ho, ho!

Oh, hi, Endora.

Oh, just
passing through?

What?

Hi, sweetheart.
I made your favorite roast.

Shame it'll
go to waste.

Why should it go to waste?

You always eat enough
for three.

Well, I'm going upstairs
to get washed

and kiss our gorgeous daughter.

Then I'll be right down.

Boy, that looks good.
And I'm hungry.

[CHUCKLES]

Any questions?

Oh, something
will come up.

You'll see.

Like, he left the lights on
at the office,

or he had to go back
and wax the floors

because the janitor got sick.

[CAR APPROACHING]

And why didn't he mention
anything

about that woman
at lunch?

There was no need to.

The woman was a client,
nothing more.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, excuse me.

Hello. You must be
Mrs. Stephens.
Yes.

I'm Toni Devlin,

a business associate
of your husband.

SAMANTHA:
Oh, come in, please.

I don't like this--
Ah, Mother--

This is my mother,
Endora.

Toni Devlin.

How do you do?
How do you do?

I'm sorry to bother you,

but I have to discuss
some campaign changes

with Darrin
before our meeting tomorrow.

Oh.
Well,
I don't blame you.

This campaign
is pretty obvious.

If you'll just have a seat,
I'll get Darrin.

Samantha, this is
really the limit.

That--
That hussy!

Walking right into
your home,

flaunting herself
in your face.

Mother, she seems
very nice.

And she hasn't made
flaunt one.

If you won't do anything
about it, I will.

Oh, ho, ho...

[MEOWS]

[MEOWS]

Mother, you change her back
right now.

I will not.

And she stays this way
until you come to your senses.

Goodbye!

Oh!
Mother!

Mother!

[DOOR CLOSES]

Honey, where'd you
get the cat?

Oh, she just, ah,
wandered by.

Cute cat.
Yeah.

Ah, why don't we have
some hors d'oeuvres.

Why don't we.

It seems we're not having
that thing for dinner

that always
upsets my stomach.

What's that?

Your mother.

No offense,

but she did leave,
didn't she?

Oh, yes,
she left.

Is something wrong?

Hm?

You always have that
special look on your face

when something's wrong.

Um, Darrin.
Yeah?

Promise
you won't get mad?

I promise.

DARRIN:
What?
Oh, no!

Darrin, you promised
you wouldn't get mad.

I am not mad.
I'm furious!

Look, I--
Honestly,

I never mistrusted you
for a moment.

You shouldn't have.

You didn't have
any reason to.

Well, don't
just stand there.

Let's give Miss Devlin
some milk.

Here, kitty-kitty.
Here, Miss Devlin--

Oh, no!

She's gone!

What am I
gonna do now?

I have to have her
at that meeting tomorrow.

That cat is
chairman of the board!

Darrin.
Darrin, uh...

Here,
drink some coffee.

It'll calm you down.

Over 12 hours
and not a single word.

Some police force
we got.

They can't even
find a stray cat.

But if that cat
double-parked-- Wham!

They'd find it.
[PHONE RINGS]

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Larry.

Have you talked
with Miss Devlin today?

Ah, Miss Devlin?

Ah, no.
Why?

I tired to reach her,
but they said

she didn't get back
to the hotel.

I hope there's
nothing wrong.

Oh, I'm sure
there's nothing wrong, Larry.

She did say something to me

about visiting her aunt
or something.

Oh. I guess we'll see her
at the meeting then.

Oh, sure, Larry.

Don't worry.
I'll see you soon.

Bye.

We've gotta find her
in time for that meeting.

We've gotta find Mother...

so that she can change
that cat back

into Miss Devlin.

Sam, what if Miss Devlin
got ahold of some bad garbage

and is lying sick
in an alley somewhere?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Mm.
I'll get it.

Drink this.

[GASPS]

Good morning,
Mrs. Stephens.

Oh, no.
Not you again.

Charlie Leach, private eye,
in person.

DARRIN:
Who is it, honey?

Your friendly neighborhood
blackmailer!

DARRIN:
What do we have to do

to get rid of you?

Send you to the moon
in a rocket?

I can do it
without the rocket.

You don't frighten Charlie Leach
with your witchcraft.

I know the magic word.

C-A-T.

I do believe that I have
a wonderful proposition

that would be
mutually beneficial.

Okay,
make it fast.

In a word,

I have the little lady
with four legs and a tail

and in a safe place.

Being the generous soul
that I am,

I'm willing to share
my good fortune with you.

She's all yours.

What's the catch?

Oh, there's no catch.

You hand me
a million dollars cash,

and I hand you
the cat.

A million dollars?

Are you out of your skull?

Where would I get
a million dollars?

In her nose.

All she has to do
is wiggle it, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and I'm also willing
to forget the fact

that you and your old lady
are both witches.

Now, isn't that
a generous gesture?

You're all heart.

So?

I'm afraid he's got us,
honey.

Make with the nose.

Okay.

But my powers are limited,
you know.

I can't produce that much money
all at once.

Well, you better figure out
something fast. Otherwise,

you'll never see that lady
with the furry face no more.

Figure, Sam,
figure.

I've got it.
What?

A money tree.

Yeah, a money tree.

A money tree?

A money tree!

A money tree?

Wow, a hundred dollars.

Oh, I do believe
I have died

and gone to the great
savings and loan in the sky.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, wait a minute.

There are only ten bills.

A thousand dollars.

Our deal was for
a million dollars.

Now, what about it?

What about it?

It blooms a new batch
every 24 hours.

Yeah.

Now may we please
have our cat?

Yeah.

In 24 hours,

if this thing works.

But I can't wait
that long.

That cat has to be
at a meeting at 11:00.

That's fair enough,
Mr. Leach.

One thing, though.

Would you please feed her
promptly at 9:30?

It's very important.

Nine-thirty.

And this thing
better work.

Oh, don't worry.
It will.

Bye.
Bye.

[GIGGLING]

Are you sure you know
what you're doing?

Oh, yes.
Positive.

Well, then do
one thing.
What?

Let me know.

Charmaine, honey,
sweetheart.

Your lover boy is home.

What is it with you

and anyone sleeping
past the crack of dawn?

Aw, honey, this is
worth waking up for.

At night he won't
take me dancing.

In the morning
he loves it.

I'll take you dancing
every night.

As a matter of fact,

I'll buy you
your own dance hall.

Now, just feast your eyes
on that.

You roll me out of a sound sleep
to look at a bush?

Listen to you.

A bush, you say?

You're begging for
a fat lip, Charlie.

Honey, this is
no ordinary bush.

This is a money tree.

Money tree?
Yeah.

Charlie, it's too early
for the bars to open.

You back to sniffing
lighter fluid again?

Cookie-face,
I mean it!

This is a money tree.

It grows
hundred dollar bills.

Hundred dollar bills.
Yeah.

And it grows a new batch
every 24 hours.

I guess it sounds
sort of crazy, huh?

Ha. It should.

The words came
from a crazy place.

You'll see.
You'll see.

Excuse me, I gotta go
and feed the cat.

What cat?

A very special cat.

This cat
goes to meetings.

What did I do to deserve this?

Here, kitty-kitty, kitty-kitty.
Here, kitty-kitty...

Here, Miss...
[MEOW]

Ah, I hope you liked mackerel
when you were a lady.

Honey, if your witchcraft
ever worked,

it'd better work now.

We witches
are very reliable.

He should be feeding her
right this minute.

[SQUEAKS]

[SQUEAKING]

[MEOWS]

[GIGGLING]

Don't you think
that's enough?

He's just supposed to
feed the cat breakfast,

not be it.

Herbs and spices
Suet and fat

Change the rodent
Back into that rat

Ooh, don't scratch me!

Thank goodness.

Oh, that horrible
mackerel breath.

On your mark.
Get set. Go.

One, two, three,
four, five,

six, seven, eight,
nine--

[PHONE RINGS]
--ten!

Hello, Mr. Leach.

Yes. And my wife
will do it again

if you don't
bring that cat back.

Yes, I'll wait for you.

Goodbye.

He's bringing the cat
right over.

Thank you.

Well, now, you take her
to the office,

and I'll call you there.

Meanwhile, I'm gonna see
if I can find Mother.

You be careful.
Oh, don't worry.

Remember, I was flying
before I could walk.

Oh, good morning,
Larry.

Darrin,
I don't like it.

We'd better
call the police.

Miss Devlin's just disappeared
from the face of the earth.

Oh, I'm sure
she'll show up, Larry.

We have a few minutes
before the meeting.

How can you be so calm?

And what are you doing
with that stupid cat?

Larry, please don't talk
that way in front of the cat.

What?

Well, it's a nice cat.

Have you flipped?

A client is missing
and all you're worried about

is that dumb animal.

Larry, please.
Not in front of the cat.

Oh!
[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Yes.

WOMAN:
Mr. Stephens,
would you tell Mr. Tate

the gentlemen have arrived
for the meeting?

Thank you.

I'll try and stall them.

Change, already.
Change!

[♪♪♪]

Well?
Any word?

I'm afraid not.

Then there's no choice
but to start the meeting

and tell them
what happened.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Yes.

Mr. Stephens, there's
a long-distance call for you

from Tibet.

Tibet?

Will you excuse us--
Ah, me.

--for a minute, Larry?

Yeah.

Hello.

Hello, Darrin?

I found her,
in Tibet.

She came to have tea
with the Lord High Lama.

Oh, just in time too.

What?

Okay, put her on.

Nimbus nambus
Krishna fren

Make the cat
That woman again

That did it, honey.
Come on home.

Where am I?

Oh, we better get
to the meeting.

Meeting?

Oh, for some reason
I feel so strange.

It's commonly called
a hangover.

We had a pretty big night
last night.

We did?

Yes, we did.
Boy, never again.

Larry!

LARRY:
Yes!

Miss Devlin!
I didn't see you come in.

She used the back door.

Mm.
Oh, by the way,

who was that on the phone
from Tibet?

Wrong number.

Oh.

Wrong number?

Leaves,
leaves!

Nothing but leaves!

I've been duped!

Oh, they promised me

that this would grow money
this morning.

Aw, Charlie, you didn't
really mean that jazz

about the hundred dollar
bills?

I sure did.

And I'll prove it to you.

I picked a whole batch of them
yesterday

and put them
in my wallet.

Now here,

you go out
and buy something

real nice for yourself.

Gee, I don't know
how to thank you.

Oh.

Oh, I'll get them
for this.

They ain't seen the last
of Charlie Leach yet.

My luck.
I haven't either.

[♪♪♪]