All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E34 Mans Best Friend 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

[♪♪♪]

[GASPS, GIGGLES]

Careful, my husband
hasn't left yet.

I'm not gonna
fall for that.

I happen to know
you're crazy about me.

It shows, huh?

The feeling's mutual.

And that is one reason
why we're

going to have a celebration
tomorrow night.

What's the other reason?

Well, I was going to
save this as
a little surprise

for you tomorrow night,
but I may as well show it
to you now.

[GASPS]

A calendar.

Just what
I've always wanted.

You haven't seen
the best part yet.

A calendar with the days
crossed off.

Well, that's even better.

Honey, it's what
those crosses represent
that counts.

Sam, you haven't done
any witchcraft for 29 days.

You finally noticed.

Yeah.
I'm very proud of you.

We have a double reason
for a celebration.

Not only have you not
twitched for 29 days,

but we haven't seen any
of your witchy friends

in that time, either.

No offense.

None taken.

I got a little head start
on that when mother said

she was gonna go
skin-diving for a month.

Good.

Now, all you have to do
is protect your record

for good behavior
for two more days.

Ooh. I'll try
and keep my nose clean.

I'll see you
tonight.

Oh.

[GASPS]

Samantha, you're still
a vision of loveliness.

I don't know you.

What are you doing
in my kitchen?

Don't fret, my dear.

I have a feeling we're gonna
make a lovely couple.

I have a feeling
I'm gonna blow my record.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Just who are you?

Ah, my favorite food.
Chocolate cake.

You haven't answered
my question.

Well, actually,
there's no reason

why you should
recognize me.

When you used to sit with me,
I was just a callow youth.

Brilliant, but callow.

Baby-sit with you.

Wait a minute.

You're not Rodney.

The same.
I lost my callow.

You mean you're that pushy,
spoiled, neurotic brat

my mother used to force me
to look after?

Knew you hadn't forgotten me.

Fortunately, I'm matured
with my neurosis intact.

That's what makes me
so fascinating.

Now, look, Rodney...
I happen to be
very busy.

So would you mind
telling me why
you're here?

Well, even as an adolescent,
I loved you, Samantha.

Oh, really.

In a repressed
sort of a way, of course.

Uh, could I have
a little more
chocolate cake?

Make it yourself.

Well that's mean and cruel
of you, Samantha.

You're only trying to hurt me.

Take your chocolate cake
and get out!

Good.

Why don't you
come away with me?

If I tell you,
will you leave?

Perhaps.

I think you're obnoxious.

Oh, one of those
love/hate things, huh?

That's okay.
That's okay.

I'm crazy about
complex relationships.

Rodney, don't you
understand?

I'm married.

I'm above
convention.

And I have a baby.

No, that's out
of the question.

We'll put her up
for adoption.

Rodney, if
you don't go away,

I'll tell your mother
on you.

You don't know
where she is.

Do you?

I'll tell her you've
been misbehaving, Rodney.

Oh. Phew!

Okay, uh,
have it your way.

We'll take
the kid with us.

Rodney, I've had just about
all I can take.

Samantha,
I love you.

Uh, I worship the air
you fly in.

I'll do anything
for you.

Anything?

Then leave.

Good.

DARRIN:
Honey, we have
a visitor.

Who?

Come and see.

Oh!

[LAUGHS]

I found him outside.
He just wouldn't leave.

Oh, Darrin,
he's marvelous.

Oh, he's so cute.
I wonder who he belongs to.

Well, I don't know.

He doesn't have
any tag or--

Look at that.

Looks like a case of
love at first sight
between you two.

I guess we'll have
to take out an ad

in the lost-and-found column.

Yeah, I guess so.

You sound reluctant.

Well, honey,
if nobody claims him,

would you mind
if we kept him?

Darrin, I thought
you wanted to wait

until we got a bigger place
before we got a dog.

Well, I did, but I'm crazy
about his personality.

Aren't you?

Oh.

Well, he does have a great face.

And who can resist
those big brown eyes?

Let's keep our fingers
crossed that nobody
claims him.

How would you like
to fix me a drink

while I go upstairs
and...fiddle with my papers?

Oh, what are
wives for?

Thank you.

Now, you stay right here
and get to know my wife.

You'll be crazy
about her.

[GLASS SMASHES]

[GASPS]

Oh, I just fixed that cake
for tomorrow night!

Rodney!

That's you, isn't it?

You get out of that fur coat
right this minute.

Now, just what
are you doing here?

Oh, Samantha, my love for you
is not warped and selfish.

I wanted to get to know
your husband.

And if I think
he's worthy of you,

I'll leave
by tomorrow morning.

Believe me.

If you don't leave
right now,

I'm going to tell
Darrin who you are.

No, you won't.

You don't want him to know
there are any non-mortals here.

That would spoil your record,
and his celebration.

Hey...he's really crazy
about me, isn't he? Right?

What are you doing?

I'm gonna hit you
with this saucepan.

You come one step further,
I'll turn into a dog.

You wouldn't hit
a dumb animal.

Oh, Rodney--

Sam, what are
you doing?

Um...

Well, you weren't
gonna hit him, were you?

He ate
my chocolate cake.

Well, honey, don't be
too hard on him.

He's probably
hungry.

Look, I'll pick you up
another cake tomorrow

at Perkin's
Pastry Shop.

I'll bring it
home from work.

I better
clean this up.

Hi.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, he sure is
affectionate,
isn't he?

Mm-hm. He fawns
a little too much.

Fawns?

Yes, you know, all that
licking and groveling.

Well, honey, he's very friendly,

but I wouldn't call that...
groveling, would you?

He tries a little bit too hard
to please, that's all.

Oh, I brought your drink in,
sweetheart.

Thanks, I'll have it later.

You don't like him.

Darrin, I hardly know him.

I just don't want you to get
too fond of him, that's all.

Why not?

Well, I just don't want you
to get too attached to him.

I wouldn't want you
to be disappointed.

Disappointed?

In case his owner claims him,
I mean.

Aw, honey.

You're the greatest.

Um...

What is the matter
with you?

Darrin, I don't think we should
be doing this in front of him.

The dog?

Well, he's looking at us
kind of funny.

What shall
we drink to?

Oh, well,
that's easy.

To one month
of normalcy.

That sure means a lot
to you, doesn't it?

Yes, it does.

And the first month
is the hardest.

SAM:
Oh, boy.

Just remember, it's all
kind of psychological.

If you get past this one day,
it'll be a breeze.

Well, I'll try not to
disappoint you.

[DOG BARKS]

[WHINES]

You take good care
of him, honey.

Well, you can
rely on it.

I phoned the ad in last night
and left my office number.

I hope nobody calls
to claim him.

Hmm.

Mmm.

Mm-hm.

Well, thank you.

What did I do to deserve
such a big kiss?

Nothing.

Harriet Kravitz is spying on us
from across the street,

and I thought we
might as well give her
her money's worth.

I'll see you tonight,
sweetheart.

Goodbye, dog.

Rodney.

Rodney!

Rodney!

I'm not leaving.
I've decided he's not
worthy of you.

Rodney...when are you going
to get it through

that pointed little head
that we love each other?

Is that the only reason you have
for not leaving him for me?

Isn't that enough?

[BABY CRIES]
Coming, Tabatha!

But if you had a fight,
and you split up,

then you'd come
with me.

For the last time, we are
not going to split up!

What makes you
so sure?

I'm interested.

We have a marriage that's based
on mutual trust and respect.

If I proved that wasn't true,
then you'd come with me?

[BABY CRIES]

Rodney...I am going upstairs
to get Tabatha,

and if you're not gone
when I come back down here,

I'm going to do
something terrible to you.

And ruin your record?

Oh, I don't need witchcraft.

I'll punch you in the nose.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SNAPS]

Just what I need.

Phase one of Operation
Split-Up, coming up.

Oh.

Oh, I'm Harriet Kravitz
from across the street.

Hi, honey.

Uh, I found this in the kitchen.

I guess Gladys borrowed it
from Mrs. Stephens.

I'll take it. Sam's slipping
into something more comfortable.

We're gonna have
a little snore together.

Are you a friend
of Mr. Stephens?

Well, more a friend
of Sam's.

Listen, honey,
I'd love to gab with you,

but I'm kind of busy
right now.

Know what I mean?

Bye.

Bye.

Mutual trust,
indeed.

Phase two of Operation
Split-Up coming up.

Rodney...

Rodney?

Ha-ha-ha.

Well, Tabatha...looks like
our home-wrecking friend

finally got the message
and gave up, huh?

Are you sure it's
the same dog, Mr. Entwhistle?

The description in the ad
sounded just like him.

He's very friendly,
and, uh...

oh yes, he loves
chocolate cake.

That's him all right.

You sound
disappointed.

Well, I've grown
very fond of that dog.

To tell you the truth,
I was hoping nobody
would claim him

so that we could
keep him.

Well, perhaps that might
be arranged.

Oh?

Yes, my sister and I
are moving to
London soon.

I'd hate to lose him,
but it would be difficult

to take him with us.

Would you be willing
to sell him?

Well, look, I'm meeting
my sister at 7 for dinner.

Let me talk it over with her,
and I'll drop by your house

later tonight,
and tell you our decision.

Good. I hope
you convince her.

That dog is really something
special, Mr. Entwhistle.

Yes. You're very perceptive,
Mr. Stephens.

It was the strangest
thing.

I suddenly had
this terrific craving
for chocolate éclairs.

I mean, I just had to
have a chocolate éclair.

Isn't that odd?

Oh, I think that happens
to all of us

at some time or another,
Miss Kravitz.

Well, I suppose Mrs. Stephens
asked you to stop by

and pick up something
for your company?

Company?

Of course, I met him
quite by accident.

Unfortunately, I called
at a very bad time.

He was still in his robe
and pajamas

when he answered
the door.

He said they were just
having "a snort" together.

Is he a friend of yours,
Mr. Stephens?

I don't know.

I suppose someone
dropped in, and Sam
just hasn't had time

to tell me
about him yet.

Well, I must say,
your faith in your wife

is very touching,
Mr. Stephens.

Uh, Miss Kravitz.

Aren't you going to buy
some éclairs?

Éclairs?

I hate éclairs!

In fact, I don't even know
why I came in here.

Hi, there!

Oh, no!

Now, listen, Rodney.

No more
Mrs. Nice Guy.

When Darrin comes home,
I'm gonna tell him who you are.

And I'm warning you,
he can be very violent.

Nah, you don't want to
spoil your record

when you're so close
to your celebration.

Besides, you have my solemn oath

that if you two
are still together
by 9:00 tonight,

I'll fly out of
your lives forever.

Still together?

Did you put a spell
on Darrin?

Oh, Samantha...you know
my powers are too meager

to cause a rift between
you two, by witchcraft.

I just wanna
be around you for
another 45 minutes.

That's all, Samantha.

Is that too much to ask?

DARRIN:
Honey, open the door.

I've got my hands full.

Ah, my master's voice.

Just a minute,
sweetheart.

Thank you.

Hey, it's nice to
have someone like you

welcome me
when I get home.

Nice to have someone
like you welcome me.

Not necessarily
in that order, I hope.

No, I just think
you look sensational.

I brought dessert.

Thank you.

Dinner should be ready
in a little while.

Good.

Uh, just the two of us?

Well, this was
our celebration.

Didn't you want
to be alone?

Oh, sure. It's just
that sometimes

friends drop in
unexpectedly, that's all.

No. No! No friends.

Oh, uh,

you want a snort?

Uh, drink?

Love one.

So you've just
been, uh...

puttering around the house
on your own, huh?

Darrin...I think
there's something
I should tell you.

I thought so.

You've just mixed
four ounces of Scotch

with two ounces
of gin.

Oh.

Is that all?

No.

When you want to
find out something from me,
just ask.

Not very subtle, huh?

Uh-uh.

Okay, I bumped into
Harriet Kravitz today.

And she said that you
and a man in a dressing gown

were having
a snort together.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Then it's not true.

No.

Then why would she say it?

I don't know.

Honey, don't misunderstand me,
I trust you implicitly.

It's just that I do
get a bit confused.

Now, are you sure that
there wasn't a man here today

in his pajamas and robe?

Darrin, that isn't exactly
the kind of thing

that would slip my mind.

Did she say she
actually saw us?

She said the man answered
the door, and he--

Uh-oh.

What is it?

Well, Darrin, I wasn't
gonna tell you this.

And, uh, I don't think
you're going to like it, but--

Honey, I'm sure there's
a perfectly logical explanation.

Now, who was he?

Him.

The dog?

In pajamas and robe?

Okay, very funny.

Now, who was he?

No, uh, Darrin...it was the dog.

I didn't want to tell you,

because I didn't want to
spoil our celebration.

Actually, he's a warlock
I used to baby-sit with.

The dog.

He came to see me
yesterday morning.

I know it sounds
ridiculous,

but, uh...

he thinks he's
in love with me.

The dog.

Darrin, I'm trying
to tell you,

that that
is not a dog.

He just posed
as a lost dog.

That's why I didn't
want you to send
that ad in,

because I knew nobody
would claim him.

Because
he's a warlock?

Darrin, I'm telling the truth.

Look...I-I'll prove it.

All right, Rodney, he knows.

Change back.

Oh, he's just
being stubborn.

Stop playing games,
Rodney.

Turn back!

He knows I won't use
any witchcraft on him.

Rodney...

if you don't turn back
right this minute,

I'll hit you
with my shoe.

Sam, you'll
scare him!

Right out
of his hide, I hope.

Sam, don't you think
it would be easier

just to tell the truth?

Darrin, don't you believe me?

No, I don't!

I happen to know that dog
is not a warlock.

How?

Because his owner
came to my office
this afternoon.

What?

And he's a very nice
young man.

He may even sell me this dog.

Oh, Darrin, don't you see?
That's Rodney, too.

Yes, I do see!

You want me to believe
that this poor,
helpless animal

is your friend,
a dog and his owner
all at the same time.

Well, Darrin,
Rodney is very devious.

Sam, aren't you
being unfair?

Unfair?!

You're trying to put
the blame on this dog

because you
don't like him!

Now, don't deny it!
You never did like him!

You even said
that he fawned!

You don't trust me.

Yes, I do trust you.

I just resent you're trying
to blame this innocent animal.

Now, will you please
tell me the truth?

I'm not going to
tell you anything.

I don't even want to
speak to you.

In that case, I'm going to bed.

I don't care what you do.

In the den.

Come on, fella.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Bed?

It's only 8:30.

Imagine her trying
to put the blame

on a poor dog
like you.

Well...looks like I need
an extra blanket.

I'll uh, go get it.

You just make
yourself comfortable.

[YAWNING]

[YAWNS]

Boy, am I beat.

I'm gonna fall asleep
just as soon as my head

hits that pillow.

Good night, dog.

[SNORING LOUDLY]

I got you!

No, don't hit me!

Samantha!
Don't do it!

Samantha!

Well, well.

What do you think
of man's best
friend now?

No, never mind
what he thinks of me.

what does he
think of you?

You stay out
of this.

You said your marriage was based
on mutual trust and respect.

Well, I proved you were wrong.

He didn't believe
you were telling the truth.

Yes, I did.

You did?

Yes.

Just once I wanted
to win out over witchcraft

without any
help from you.

Besides, I didn't want you
to spoil your record.

He's lying.

That's why I went
to bed at 8:30!

You don't know how
happy I am to hear you
say that.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Uh, pardon me.

Does this mean you're not
coming away with me?

Sam, will you
excuse me for
just a minute?

What are you
gonna do?

I'm gonna punch you
right in the nose.

[DOG WHINES]

How long is he going to
stay this way?

Oh, it's just
one of his old tricks.

He knows you won't hit
a dumb animal.

I'm going to
call the pound.

That won't work.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[SIGHS]

Mr. Stephens...
I saw your ad.

I've come to
claim my dog.

I think there must be
some mistake.

Oh...no mistake.

I recognized
the description.

There he is.

Now, Rodney,
you come out
of there!

DARRIN:
Rodney?

Uh, this is Rodney's mother,
darling.

You may not remember me.
I'm Samantha.

Samantha?
My, how you've changed.

Oh, he's lonely,
you know.

He's always looking
for a playmate.

So I gather.

He's not really bad.
He's just mischievous.

How are you gonna get him
to change back?

Oh, that's easy.

Rodney...if you don't
change back,

I'll give you a flea
and tick bath.

Come on, Rodney.

It's way past
your bedtime.

Goodbye, my love.

I shall return.

Oh, no, you won't.

Don't bother
to show us out.

Goodbye, now.

I would have loved to
have seen that tick
and flea bath.

Well, you still think
I'm entitled to a celebration?

You didn't use
witchcraft.

Well, with him gone,
we really have
something to celebrate.

I'll drink to that.

[COUGHS]

[VOICE HOARSE]
Sam, water!

Oh, Sam!

What?

You broke
your record.

Well...there's
always next month.

[♪♪♪]