All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E33 Divided He Falls 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

My, you look
fetching.

Oh.
Hello, Mother.

Do you like it?
It's new.

Divine.

It's a bit chic for
the summers though,
isn't it?

Darrin and I are going
to a dinner dance

at the country club
with the Tates tonight.

What brings you here?

No particular reason.

As you're going to a dinner,
I thought I might help.

Help?

You have four mice
and a pumpkin around?

I have already met
my Prince Charming.

Oh, there
he is now.

Mother--

Ugh!

Some Prince Charming.

I'm afraid you and I
see him two different
ways, Mother.

That's true.

I don't know why you can't
see him as he really is.

Like this:

Mother!

But you persist
in seeing him like this:

Wrong on
both counts.

I see him
as he really is.

Like this:

Ugh!

Good.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I knew you'd
leave him someday.

Leave who?

Your husband.

See how easy
it was?

You've forgotten
already.

Mother, I'm not
leaving Darrin.

We're going to
Florida together.

Oh, again?

Darrin has
the week off.

His parents
picked up Tabatha.

They're gonna
look after her.

And this time tomorrow,
we'll be sunning ourselves
in glor--

Oh, yes.

If my memory
serves me,

you've postponed that
beautiful fantasy six times.

What makes you think
this is the lucky seven?

He gave me his word.

Nothing short
of a catastrophe

can delay us now.

Darrin...

you're just the man who can
help us avoid a catastrophe.

Larry, I was just
on my way out.

Darrin, this is
Sanford Stern
of Stern Chemicals,

just in
from Pittsburgh.

Darrin Stephens.
It's a pleasure.

I'd like to stay
and chat, but I have
a plane to catch.

Jim DeWitt was just
taken to the hospital

with acute
appendicitis.

I'll send him a box
of candy in my name.

I'll write him
a get-well card
from Miami.

Darrin, it's painful for me
to have to tell you this.

Well, then,
for Pete's sake,
don't do it, Larry.

I'm afraid you'll have
to cancel your plans.

You had to
do it.

I'm afraid
I'm the villain,
Mr. Stephens.

But my hands are tied.

I have a strict TV deadline
for my commercials.

I know how hard
you've been working.

If anybody ever deserved
a vacation, it's you.

You've given service
above and beyond--

All right. All right.
All right, Larry.

I can't bear having
a grown man cry.

I wasn't going to cry.

I meant me.

Thanks, old pal.

I'll leave
you two together.

Do you want me
to call Samantha?

No, I'll do it.

Just be nice to her
at her murder trial.

What?

After she's killed me.

Oh, thank you,
darling.

I appreciate how
you're taking this.

You sounded a little
strained over the phone.

Oh, I can't stay mad
at you for long.

I've forgotten
all about it.

Well, I have
to get back to work.

That reminds me,

I have some
unpacking to do.

See you later.

I do hate to say,
"I told you so," Samantha.

Really?
Since when?

Oh, cheer up,
my sweet.

You haven't
missed much.

It's not much fun
going to Miami

with an old sobersides
like Desmond.

You have the wrong idea
about Darrin.

You can only see
one side of him.

I know he has another.

He can be witty and charming
and just full of fun.

Mm. Well...

It's a pity you can't take
the fun side of him,

and leave the work side
at home.

Oh, you're
a big help.

Well, no sense in
feeling sorry for myself.

Darrin can't go,
and that is that.

Except for
the unpacking.

Sam!

Samantha!

[WHISTLING]

Fore!

Darrin, is anything
the matter?

No, honey.
I'm three feet from the cup.

I hear those courses
in Miami are great.

I can hardly
wait to play.

Miami?

You didn't cancel
the tickets, did you?

No. No.
Not yet.

But I--
You said we weren't going.

All systems are now
go, go, go, go!

Fore!

Darrin, what--

What about
the Stern Chemical account?

Didn't you say you had
two more weeks work
to do on it?

Work?
I never heard of it.

Why don't you let me
take you out of all this?

What about
Larry and Mr. Stern?

Oh, let them
get their own girls.

But I thought you said

they had a deadline
for those commercials.

You know, I've been
thinking about that

for about the last
10 seconds.

And I've come up with
the perfect solution.

You have?
Yeah.

The heck with them.

Now, to more
serious affairs.

Where's my suntan oil?

Darrin, don't you
think you should--

I'll tell you what I think.

I think you have the most
incredible green eyes

I have ever seen.

We were talking
about the account.

Please answer the following
questions with "yes," "no"
or "sometimes."

Do we deserve
a little fun out of life?

Yeah.

Have I been promising you
this vacation for months?

Yeah.

Do you love me,
and would you follow me
wherever I go?

Mm-hmm.

Are we going
to Miami?

We are.

Wait a minute.

Don't you want
to hear your score?

I have to repack
the stuff I unpacked.

I'll do that.
You find the suntan oil.

One more thing.
What?

You have the most
incredible green eyes
I've ever seen.

I know, I know.
Ha, ha.

Well...

Now, if I were a bottle of
suntan lotion, where would I be?

Is this what
you're looking for?

Oh. Thank you,
Mother.

Now, it's my turn to say,
"I told you so."

I can hardly believe
that Derrick

is anything but a sober
stuffed shirt.

Mother, I am in love
with a charming man

who loves fun
and excitement.

Well, I just hope
your husband doesn't find out.

DARRIN:
Honey, have you seen
my book on how to surf?

Uh, yes.

I think it's
in the den.

See what I mean?

You're not going
in there!

Why not?

Well, it isn't
the proper place
for a book on surfing.

That's where he keeps
all his books.

Samantha!

I'll only be
a minute, honey.

As soon as I find--

Darrin?

Darrin...

what are you
doing in here?

Darrin.

Samantha, please!

I was trying to concentrate.

Oh.

What are you
concentrating on?

The Stern Chemical
account.

Jim DeWitt got sick,
and Larry asked me if
I wouldn't take--

Haven't I been
through this before?

Yes, you certainly
have.

Then why am I going
through it again?

Darrin, you just
went upstairs to pack.

I did?
What gave you that idea?

I got the idea when you said,
"I'm going up to pack."

Samantha, this is no time
to play games.

The agency is relying on me

to come up with an
effective campaign.

I only have
three weeks--

Just a minute.

Have you been here
ever since I was here?

Of course.

[GASPS]

Then you--

You're--

Mother!

What did you
call me?

Do you feel
any different?

Different than what?

Never mind.

You just go ahead
and finish your work.

I'll take care
of my mother.

The meddler!

Mother!

I want to
talk to you.

Did you find the book
you were looking for, darling?

No. But I found
something else.

What's that?

My husband.

Oh, darling,
you can't win them all.

At least
one of my husbands.

The other one
is upstairs.

Now, admit it, Mother.

You divided Darrin.

Oh, don't be so upset,
Samantha.

I did it
in your best interest.

Darrin will be furious!

[LAUGHING]

I admit that made it
irresistible.

I only want one Darrin!

I know exactly what you mean.

It's humiliating to look

as if you've made
the same mistake twice.

[DARRIN SINGING
UPSTAIRS]

DARRIN:
Samantha!

Samantha,
who is that singing?

The radio upstairs.

It is very distracting when
you're trying to concentrate.

I have a great deal
of work to do, you know.

I'll turn it off.

Thank you.

Nice voice though.

Mother!

Oh, come on,
Samantha.

I just wanted to see
if you were right

about David's
two personalities.

You were.

Good.

Now, how about putting him
back together?

Oh, very well.

But really,
what's the harm?

If he works as hard
as you say he does,

at least half of him
deserves a rest.

That's very peculiar logic.

Well, that's because
it's so sensible.

Well?

Well...

DARRIN:
Sam, I can't find
my swimming trunks!

It isn't as if you won't be
with your husband.

You'll simply have
the fun side of him.

In your closet!
Bottom shelf!

Listen to him.

He's actually
enjoying himself.

[DARRIN SINGING]

He does
sound happy.

Well, half a rest
is better than none.

I suppose.

Will you
take him?

Now, Mother, I haven't
said that yet.

How am I going to explain this
to the Darrin in the den?

Well, it's all very simple.

Tell him you're
coming with me.

Well, now, Mother,
he'd never agree to that.

Well, why don't you try it?

Darling, I think
it's a wonderful idea.

Just because I'm
chained here to my desk,

doesn't mean you have
to stay and be my warden.

Besides, it'll give you
a chance to rest

and me a chance to work.

You go with your mother
and have a good time.

Mother, he told me to go
and have a good time.

Do you think what
we're doing is right?

Absolutely.

What can happen?

Hi, Endora!

My, you look
ravishing tonight.

I like him better
this way.

Come on, honey, we're wasting
all that sunshine.

Let's live it up a little.

Boy, are you happy.

And why not?

You're looking at a man
with only one responsibility.

What's that?

To have
fun, fun, fun!

Ho!

Now, the main objective
of the campaign

will be to acquaint
the average person

with the significance
of chemicals--

and particularly
Stern Chemicals--

upon his everyday life.

Oh, that's excellent,
Darrin. First-rate.

I'm sure you'll find it
satisfactory

once you've heard
the rest of my ideas.

I like it now.

Look, we've been at this
for 16 hours now.

I suggest we celebrate
our progress

by going out
to dinner.

LARRY:
Here, here.

Well, we do have
a lot more work to do.

I think we should
call it a day.

Look, I don't get to
the big city very often.

What do you say
we cut loose
and have some fun?

That reminds me.

I've written
a small booklet entitled:

Let's Have Fun
With Chemicals.

Darrin, Mr. Stern
is hungry.

Well, I suppose
we could have
something sent in.

Now, here I've outlined
how we will acquaint

the general public
with your actual products.

Darrin, you don't have to
knock yourself out
like this.

You've already
got the contract.
[LAUGHS]

I know that, Mr. Stern.

But we do have
the responsibility

of coming up with
an effective campaign.

Darrin, Mr. Stern was
making a joke.

All right.

Just a figure
of speech.

Oh, yes.

Uh, that leads me to
another phase of the campaign.

I believe that
you should
take a look

at these market research
figures.

He's, uh...certainly
a hard worker, isn't he?

MR. STERN:
Yeah.

But doesn't he ever get
any fun out of life?

[SPLASHING]

Thank you.

Now, this is
going to be fun.

Now, everybody,
all together.

The last line.

Go!

♪ If you knew Susie
like I know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, what a gal ♪

[APPLAUSE]

Isn't that terrible?

Oh, he's so witty
and charming.

Isn't he funny?

Yeah, he's a laugh
a minute.

Whoo-hee!

Whoo-hoo-hee!

Come on, Sam.
Let's Watusi.

I-- I think I'll sit
this one out,
if you don't mind.

You're not gonna poop out
on me, are you?

You're a little hard
to keep up with, you know.

Yeah, I know.
I'm having a ball.

Hi, Joe.
Yeah.

A real fun guy, Joe.
Yeah.

They're all fun people.
Yeah.

Sure you don't wanna dance?

No, thanks.

I think I'll call home
in a minute

and find out how your mother
is making out with Tabatha.

Who?

Tabatha.
Your daughter.

Oh, I'm sure she's fine.

Hi, Francie.

Hi, Darrin.

She's got a great
personality.

I'm a little worried
about her.

Francie?
Tabatha!

Honey, I like Tabatha too,

but you can't let
your children run your life.

Don't worry.
Give you wrinkles.

Well, I-- I'm sure
your mother and father

are taking
very good care of her.

But after all, we do have
a responsibility.

Oh honey, honey, honey.
Only one responsibility.

Fun, fun, fun,
fun, fun, fun, fun.

Hey, look, Joe is going
off the board.

Great dive, Joe!

Excuse me a minute.

Darr--

[MOCKING]
Fun, fun, fun.

[SIGHS]

Hey, watch this everybody!

Darrin.

Darrin, you can't swim!

Front flip right
into the pool
and back again.

[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]]

Thank you my friends.
It was really nothing.

Now, I have
an announcement to make.

It's party time!

Everyone, to our room
for a party!

Party!

I feel guilty.

I should be back
at the office working.

Darrin,
will you relax.

You've been like
a one-man factory all day.

That is another angle
to consider.

We should make a film
about the factory.

Show the folks at home
some of the research

you're doing,
in a fun sort of way, of course.

Isn't there some kind
of a button you can push

that'll turn him off?

Drink up, Darrin.

And forget about
chemistry, hmm?

Oh, Larry, you can't really
forget about chemistry.

It's in the very air
we breathe.

This salt
and pepper shaker,
ashtray, table.

Fascinating.

Yes, it is.

That's why I believe
this campaign will work.

First of all, we show
the public the phenomenon,

and then we interest them
in your product.

Uh-huh.

You know, uh,
after dinner,
I'd like to go

to a couple
of nightclubs.

LARRY:
Great.

They have a marvelous
new chorus line at
the Purple Popsicle.

Oh, they also have a new comic.
Funny, very different.

Sort of, uh,
low pressure.

That's exactly my point.

What?

A low-pressure campaign.

Now, while we're waiting
for our food,

why don't I show you
some more ideas I have?

Darrin, you're kidding.

I doubt it.

He's not the kind of a man
that kids very much.

LARRY:
I don't get it.

Usually, he has
a great sense of humor.

Oh, sure.
A barrel of laughs.

No, really.

You've only seen
one side of him.

Well, I hope he finds
the other side soon.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

It's a great
party, huh?

Uh, yeah.

Hey, honey. We're all out
of champagne.

Well, we'll order
another magnum.

Better still,
a "magni"!

That's two magnums.

You just leave it
to old Dar.

Uh, Darrin.
Darrin.

At the risk of sounding
like a nagging wife,

can we afford
all this?

Well, we'll just dip
into our savings.

But we can't do that.

Hey, you're right.
I got a better idea.

Why don't you just
twitch your nose

and whap up some champagne?

You want me to use witchcraft?

Why not?

I mean, it'll be crazy.

The gang will love it.

They'll be crazy about it.

They'll get a big kick
out of it.

But, Darrin, you can't
tell them I'm a witch.

Why not? They'll love it,
love it, love it.

Darrin!

I'll just try to quiet them down
while you do it.

Darrin!

Hey!

Hey, gang!
Hey, folks!

Ahh-haaa.

Where did everyone go?

Back to their rooms.

But, honey, we were having
such fun.

Darrin...we have something
to tell you.

We?

Yes.
Mother!

Oh...my. Looks like
quite a party.

Hi, Endora.
Great to see you, baby!

Oh, thank you.

Mother, I want
the man I married
back.

Why, no. But he's
charming this way.

Yes. Charming, witty
and totally irresponsible.

But this is
his best side.

Don't you like him this way?

I like ice cream,
but I don't want to
eat it

all the time.

Uh, girls...
you just lost me.

Yes, we certainly did.

Darrin, will you please
sit down, please?

Now, I know this
may be--
[CLAPS]

I realize this may be rather
hard for you to understand...

but only part of you is here.

The fun
side.

Without a care in the world.

I love her
sense of humor.

The other half is at home.

Okay, I'll bite.
What's he doing?

Well, I hate to think.

But I'd better
find out.

[SNAPS]

Thought she'd
never leave.

So much for
the TV campaign.

Now, let me tell you
what I had in mind
for the radio spots.

This boy reminds me
of Horatio Alger.

A boring
Horatio Alger.

Darrin.

Sam.

Oh, this is
Sanford Stern.

Samantha, what are
you doing here?

You're supposed to be
in Miami.

Yes. Gentlemen, do you mind
if I borrow my husband
for a moment?

BOTH:
Oh, please do.

We have to be going, anyway.
Right, Sanford?

Yes. We've monopolized
your time too long.

But-- But--

Sam, we were right
in the middle of
a business discussion.

Aren't you glad
to see me?

Of course I am.

But not when
I'm talking business.

I have to get
them back.

Hey!
[SNAPS]

Wait a minute!

Where am I?

You're in Miami.

Who is he?

That's not "he,"
that's you.

What are you doing here
with my wife?

Oh, I knew we shouldn't
have invited him.

We were having a cool time
until he showed up.

I thought you were going
with your mother.

She came
with me.

Look, you've got some
explaining to do, buster!

Who do you think you are?

Boys, boys.

Will you please tell me
who this is?

Oh, really,
you are dense.

It's very simple.

This is your other half.

Other half?

Pleased to meet you.

Sam, will you please
get to the point?

I've got about a ton
of work to do.

Darrin. Darrin,
this is the point.

You see, we thought
you needed a rest,

so, we thought we'd take
your fun side on vacation.

Fun side?

Hi, work side.

Will you stop grinning at me
like an idiot.

I don't think there's anything
funny about this at all.

Absolutely
no sense of humor.

Mother, will you hurry up
and put them back together?

Well, It would help if
they liked each other a little.

Never happen.

Mother.

Well, separating was easier,
you know.

But, uh...putting them back
together may be more difficult.

Will you please stop
talking about me

as if I were some
do-it-yourself kit?

Hey, what a grouch.

There is a way
to get them back.

But I'm not sure
they'd like it.

What's that?

Well, they both stand
at opposite ends of the room

and then run into
each other.

Hey, sounds like fun.

Are you
out of your mind?

Now, there's no need to be
rude to Darrin, Darrin.

After all,
he's my husband too.

I'm not even sure
that's legal.

Sam, I've had enough
of this nonsense.

Just get me--
Uh, Darrin.

You want to get back
to work, right?

I certainly do.

And you want to go back
to the party, right?

Crazy.

Okay.

First one out the door
gets his wish.

[BANG]

Is he back together again?

Yes, dear.

Oh. Darrin. Darrin,
speak to me.

Oh, I'm mad about
that outfit.

Sam?

Oh, it's nice
to see you,
sweetheart.

Oh, Mother,
he's back to normal.

That, my gal,
is a matter of opinion.

Well, it was
an interesting experiment.

At least you had
a vacation out of it.

[SCOFFS]
Some vacation.

At least I learned
an important lesson.

I can't stand
Darrin's work side.

Oh?

I can't stand
his fun side either.

Stars and comets.

You've finally seen
the light.

It's the whole Darrin I love.

Oh, I never heard
such blatant, sticky
sentimentality

in my whole life.

I never want him to be
anyone else.

Oh, I think I'll leave
before I get sick.

Oh, hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

My, it's nice
to have you back.

All of you.

Well, you've got all of me
for three whole weeks.

Ah.

Larry was so pleased
with the work I did

on the Stern account,
he gave me a vacation.

Well, Larry
is right.

You deserve
a vacation.

The word he used
was "needed".

Oh.

Anyway, I know where
I want to spend it.

Where?
Right here.

Just the four of us.

The four of us?

You, Tabatha, my fun side
and my work side.

Oh, that's the best
vacation I ever
heard of.

[♪♪♪]