All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E29 Disappearing Samantha 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

Sam!

Oh, out here, honey.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

[TABATHA BABBLING]
Hello, young lady.

How are you?

How are you?

You promised to clean out
the garage.

Oh, honey, I'm afraid
it'll have to wait.

I've gotta go to a lecture.

Lecture?

Mmm-hmm. He's our client.

He has a new book coming out,

and we'll be handling
the promotion

and his lecture tour.

Um, were you planning
to go alone?

Oh, no. Larry and Louise will be
stopping by to pick me up.

Uh, we'll be going
to the afternoon lecture.

What's he lecturing about?

Nothing you'd be interested in.

Try me.

Okay.

The title is:

"Witchcraft of the World,
Fact and Fallacies."

The lecturer wouldn't be
by any chance

Osgood Rightmire, would it?

You've heard of him.

He's a smug phony who's been
making a living for years

telling all sorts of lies
about witches.

Well, then there's no sense
in your going

and ruining your afternoon.

Oh, I'm going all right.

I wouldn't miss this
for the world.

No, you're not going.

There's no sense in your going
and spoiling your whole day.

Oh, Darrin, don't be silly.

He's too ridiculous
to be taken seriously.

I just thought it might be
amusing to hear him.

Couldn't I go
if I promised to be good?

Well, Larry will be picking me
up in half an hour.

You haven't got time to arrange
for a baby-sitter.

I have an idea.

If it's what I think--
Mother?

Now, wait a minute.

Mother,
could I see you for a moment?

Well, Samantha, I hope
it's something important.

Mother, we have to go out
for a couple of hours.

Now, would you mind sitting
with Tabatha until we get back?

Well, all right.

I've got to get back to Tokyo
for a few minutes.

A nice young Japanese poet
is going to read me

some of his love ballads.

I'll be right back.

She certainly gets around.

Oh, Darrin.

You know, she's really awfully
good about baby-sitting.

For Mother that is.

Well, I'll go and change.

I'm really looking forward
to this.

Remember, you promised
to be good.

Aren't I always?

If I say "yes,"
I'll be lying.

If I say "no,"
I'm in trouble.

No comment.

[♪♪♪]

Come on, honey.
We'll be late.

Coming.

I think Sam will enjoy this.

Osgood Rightmire
is a fascinating man.

Is that so?

Larry says he's considered
the top authority in his field.

By whom?

Oh, you know. Whoever it is who
decides who top authorities are.

He really is
highly respected, Sam.

He's been all over the world,

to all kinds
of exotic places.

He's lived with witch doctors
and voodoo men.

It's been a life-long study
with him.

Oh, well, everyone should
have a hobby.

Maybe you'll get a chance
to talk to him later.

Oh?

Darrin, I took the liberty
of asking him to join us here

after the evening lecture.

Well, Larry, I don't know.

Maybe he'll be tired.

Oh, goodie!

Just think, Darrin,

an authority on witchcraft
here in our own little home.

Well, we better get going.
Come on, dear.

Genies, voodoo spirits,
leprechauns, trolls and witches

are the companions of dull,
primitive and ignorant people.

Well, that covers me.

He's insufferable!

Mind you, it's true that
my extensive research

has uncovered certain
inexplicable events

that have been attributed to
so-called witches.

However, after intensive
investigation,

I have found that
these manifestations

are all manufactured
or self-induced.

Believe me,
there are no witches.

Wonderful, isn't he?

Incredible.

And why do people like to call
themselves witches?

Well, I've met a great many
people with so-called

supernatural powers in my time.

And I'll tell you
what I found out.

Scratch a witch, and you'll
find a neurotic bore

who has no other claim
to be interesting.

Relax, honey, just relax.
Relax, honey.

Now, in case there are any
of you in the audience

who think you are a witch,
let me say this.

Here I am, Osgood Rightmire,
a 20th-century witch hunter,

and your mortal enemy.

Cast your spells.

Strike me down!

I offer myself
as your target.

Samantha!

I'm sorry, darling.
It just slipped out.

It won't happen again.

Thank you very much.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
uh, you may think
that I staged that,

but I didn't.
It, uh-- It was an accident.

However, that-- That's the way
superstitions start.

If I were a superstitious man,
I would say that a witch did it.

[CHUCKLES]

But I would have a remedy.

I would simply say:

On grong gray

Katza lama zay!

Any witches which are here

From this moment disappear

[STAMPS FLOOR]

[LAUGHTER]

[STAMPS FLOOR]

And, uh, with that
they would disappear.

Sam?

Yes, dear?

Where are you?

Well.

It can't be much of a spell.
Louise is still here.

That'll do.

Thanks for the lift, Larry.
We'll see you after dinner.

Thought I'd bring Bob Andrews
over, too,

if it's all right with you.
Fine.

If he gives us that article
in his magazine about Rightmire,

it'll be a big help
to the national tour.

Wonderful.
Bye-bye.

See you later.
So long.

You sure you're
all right?

Oh, don't worry,
Darrin.

It was just that one time.

I'm sure
it couldn't happen again.

It was pretty scary.

How would he know
an incantation like that?

He must've picked it up
in his travels somewhere.

Amateurs shouldn't fool around
with things like that.

Honey, I hate
to mention it,

but somebody else did
start the whole thing.

I know.
I'm sorry.

But when he's here
tonight, no, uh--

Don't worry, Darrin.

I'll be a good little witch.

Sam. Sam?
Sam!

Sam, are you still here?

I am in spirit,
darling.

Right over here.

Would you mind
proving it?

Oh, honey.

This is a lot more serious
than we thought.

What are you going to do
about it?

Mother?

Mother!

You'll wake the baby!

Oh, what a sweet child.
It's a pleasure to be with her.

She slept the whole time.

SAM:
Mother.

What's this?

Samantha.

Samantha?

Mama, I've got a problem.

Mother, have you found
anything yet?

No, there's nothing in here.

Oh, I'll find it
all right.

How do you feel,
sweetheart?

Well--

Just hang on,
darling.

Your lips feel funny.

That's because you kissed me
on the eye.

Do something.

Oh, it's your fault.

How could you expose
your wife

to a dangerous fanatic
like Rightmire?

Wait a minute! I didn't want

her to go in the first place.
She insisted.

Oh. I was
under the impression

that you were the head
of the house.

This is no time
to bicker.

Do you know how
to stop it?

Can you remember
what Rightmire said?

No. It didn't even sound like
an authentic incantation.

That's bad, huh?

Oh, I've seen some cases that
would make your hair turn blue.

Well, I'll just have to borrow
some more books from Aunt Clara.

Oh, my stars!

It must be some exotic
incantation.

And since it was executed
by an amateur,

well, it can't be
that powerful.

I'll just have to do
some more research.

Hey, I made a comeback.

DARRIN:
Thank goodness.

I don't know how long
it's gonna last.

In the meantime, put a cold
compress on your head,

take two aspirin,

and, above all,
keep yourself warm.

Any symptoms?

Not yet.

Darrin, could I have
a drink of water?

Sure thing, honey.

Darrin.

Sam!

Endora!

When did it happen?

Just now.

I wish you could remember
a little more

of what that simpleton said.

What did it sound like?

I wasn't listening.

It was one of those
ibbety-bibbety-sibbety-sab

things. "Out goes
Y-O-U," and out she went.

Oh, you're a great help.

Try to remember
so I'll know where to look.

Mother, it was one of those
things I never heard before.

Ooh.

I'll go down and ask Rightmire.
It's as simple as that.

You should've thought
of that sooner.

I'll catch him in his dressing
room before the evening lecture.

Well, don't trust
your human memory.

Write it down.

You missed.

Well, here I am again.

Oh, darling,
sit down.

Everything is going to be
all right, dear.

Mother is here.

I, uh-- I was particularly
impressed with the way

you handled that situation
when, uh-- Well, you know.

Thank you, but I'd rather
not be reminded of that.

I warned the management.
They better fix that platform,

or they'll have a lawsuit
on their hands.

The way you leaped right up

and turned it into a point
in your lecture.

"Any witches which are here--"
Something or other.
"--disappear."

What did you say first?

Mr. Stephens, my contract in
this town is for two lectures.

I do not intend to give a third
one in my dressing room.

I thought I might use it
for a publicity release.

But you have
my colorful personality

to work with, Stephens.
What else do you want?

Besides, the spell will be
in my book,

which is coming out next month.

And I do not believe in giving
away anything for nothing.

But, Mr. Rightmire,
I believe that people--

Thank you for dropping by,
Stephens.

Well, you will be at our house
tonight after the lecture,

won't you?

Possibly.

Who else will be there?

Mr. Andrews, the editor
of Pictorial Week.

All right, Stephens.

Rightmire should be through
with his lecture about now.

We're anxious for you
to meet him, Mr. Andrews.

I wonder if he does that
business of tripping

and knocking everything down
at each performance.

Of course he does.

It was so obviously staged.

Didn't you think so, Sam?

Hmm? Uh, yes,
yes, of course.

He kidded about the accident
being caused by a witch,

and then he recited a spell
to send the witch into limbo.

I wonder if he'd tell me
his secret.

I have a few relatives
I'd like to make disappear.

ENDORA:
The entire lecture
sounds like nonsense.

Oh, I found it
quite interesting.

Didn't you, Saman--?

Where did Samantha go?

But she was here
just a second ago.

I wonder where
she disappeared to.

What happened?

I, uh, ran
into some thick air.

I'll take a look
in the kitchen.

That's probably
where she is.

The--
The kitchen?

Honey. Honey,
are you in here?

Yes, dear.

Well, where are you?

I'm right here.

Honey, try to hold on
until Rightmire gets here,

then everything
will be all right.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello.

Yes, Mr. Rightmire.

Oh, now, Mr. Rightmire--

But, Mr. Rightmire,
we're all expecting you.

I'm terribly sorry
to disappoint you, Stephens,

but, uh, I'm rather tired,

and, uh, I have some important
research to do tonight.

Well, please extend my apologies
to, uh, whoever it may concern.

All right? Bye-bye.

Now, my dear,
I'm all yours.

Oh, Mr. Rightmire.

Osgood.

I's good too.

No, no, my dear,
Osgood is my first name.

Um...what's yours?

Beverly.

And I'm thrilled,
just thrilled to meet you.

Well, it was, uh,
most sweet of you

to come backstage
and say such nice things

about my modest
little effort.

Oh, it wasn't modest at all.

It was what you were talking
about that just drives me crazy.

It's so, so--

Fascinating?

No, spooky.

[CHUCKLES]

Mother, we have
to get him here

to find out
what the spell was.

Don't worry, dear.

Osgood Rightmire will be here.

How can you be so sure?

Why, his research
will bring him here.

Right to Morning Glory Circle.

But--

Shhhh! Let me concentrate.

I thought we might go to some,
uh, nice, intimate little club

and, uh, get to know
each other better.

Oh, that sounds just marvie.

And I know just the place.

Good.

Where is it?

On Morning Glory Circle.

Well, uh, lead the way.

Maybe we should've picked
Mr. Rightmire up.

He might've gotten lost.

Not a chance,
I assure you.

How can you be so sure?

Mother means that any man
who has hacked his way through

mysterious jungles,
shouldn't have a problem.

He'll be here
any minute now.

Is something wrong
with the engine?

What does it sound like?

Well, I'm not mechanical.

That, my dear,
is a matter of opinion.

Where's this club
you were telling me about?

I don't know.

Well, why did you say
it was here?

I don't know.

Well, I'll just go in the house
and call the auto club.

It's cold out here.
Can I come with you?

Oh, very well.

Oh, pardon me.
My car--

Mr. Rightmire.
How nice of you to come.

Stephens!

Um, I decided my research
could wait.

Well, good, good.

And, uh, I, uh--
I brought along my, uh--

My niece, who lives here
in the town.

Ah, um, Beverly...

Niece?
Beverly Niece.

No, Beverly Wilson.

Beverly Wilson.

This is
Mr. Darrin Stephens.

Well, hello there.

How do you do?

We were afraid you couldn't
find the place.

There's some people here who are
very anxious to meet you.

Won't you come in?

One word out of you,
and I'll kill you.

Well, I was having a drink
with, uh, a major

up in the officer's mess
in Bonga-Bonga.

And the door opened, and in came
this diminutive colonel,

approximately nine inches high,

immaculately dressed
in every way,

and he swarmed up the stool
to the bar and ordered a drink.

And the major said
to the colonel--

He said,
"Colonel, tell Mr. Osgood

about the time you fell out
with a witch-doctor."

Can I, uh, freshen
anybody's drinks?

No, thank you.

Well, this has been
most interesting, Mr. Rightmire.

Thank you, Mr. Andrews.
Of course, this is only one

of many stories
I have concerning witchcraft.

Fascinating,
Mrs. Stephens.

Yes, indeed.

I could listen to him talk
all night, couldn't you?

Well, perhaps not quite--

Honey.

Pass me the ashtray,
would you, Beverly, dear?

Yes, sir.

I've been away
for several years,

and I'm afraid my niece
is a little awed

by her illustrious uncle.

Isn't that it, dear?

Yes, Uncle Rightmire.

Osgood.

Who?

Mr. Rightmire, I'd like
very much to do an article

on you and your work.

I was, uh, telling him
about the wonderful way

you handled that situation
this afternoon.

Oh, that.

Yes, he was positively
wonderful.

You bet.

Ahem.

Oh, I'm sorry,
Mr. Osgood.

I'm particularly interested
in witchcraft, Mr. Rightmire.

What was the spell you put on
the witches in the audience?

An ancient peasant incantation
I translated from the Hungarian.

Yes, we were trying
to remember it.

How does it go?

As a publisher,

I'm sure Mr. Andrews
will appreciate the answer

that I gave to
your son-in-law earlier.

Read my book.

[RIGHTMIRE CHUCKLES]

ANDREWS:
He's absolutely right.

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Mother! Mother!

ENDORA:
He did it to me.
And without the incantation.

Mother, where are you?

Here I am.

Ooh!

Mother,
he's a warlock.

He could be.

Yes, he certainly
could be.

And we've got to find out.

We'll just have to give him
the ordeal by fire.

But how? And with what?

The most simple test
is to give him a glass of

cayenne, red peppers, hot sauce
and a little tomato juice.

Of course.

If he can drink that,
he's a warlock all right.

I was in this village
in darkest Africa,

investigating some
strange voodoo rites,

and the chief came up
to me and said--

Excuse me.

After midnight everyone.
Time for Bloody Mary's.

Oh, that's
a marvelous idea.

LARRY:
Oh, thank you,
Endora.

Thank you very much.

Well, here's to the success
of your book, Mr. Rightmire.

Thank you.

Cayenne and red pepper?
What for?

You almost killed him!

To prove he
isn't a warlock.

He doesn't even know
what he's doing.

He's a stupid bundler!

Mother!
What?

Maybe he has a charm,
a talisman of some sort,

that he doesn't know
anything about.

Yes, yes.

That has to be it!

Ah-ha! All right,
back to the living room.

Really, I'm awfully sorry,
Mr. Rightmire.

I hope you're feeling better.

Fine.
Thank you. Fine.

I made you a fresh one.

No more, dear lady, no more.

[MOUTHING]

Incidentally, I'm sure
none of you know this,

but the Bayou folk of Louisiana
used cayenne and red pepper

as a test
for warlocks.

That's a rather interesting
ring, Mr. Rightmire.

Where did you get it?

From an old mystic who lived
at the headwaters of the Nile.

May I see it?

This ring never leaves
my finger.

Ahh!

Except for you, dear lady.

Did you see that?

It practically jumped
out of my hand.

Mother, I'm getting
that feeling again.

Me too. Come on.

LARRY:
It can't have gone
very far.

RIGHTMIRE: No, no.
ANDREWS: Look above your hand.

Under the sofa?

It's got to be in this room
somewhere.

ENDORA:
All right. You first, dear.

Thank you, Mother.

It's too dangerous to be
in the hands of an amateur.

Well, we can't let him
have it back.

No.

He'll never know
the difference.

Come on.

Is this the ring you're looking
for, Mr. Rightmire?

Yes.
Where did you find it?

In the kitchen.
It must've rolled there.

It's a busy little ring,
isn't it?

Yes. Well, uh, I'd better
be toddling along.

I, uh, have to get Miss Wilson
back home, you know.

I'm sure your little niece isn't
used to being out so late.

Hey, what about the car,
Uncle Rightmire?

Yes, of course.
The, uh-- The auto club.

Oh, doesn't it work?

Why don't you try it again.

Yes, yes, I'll, uh--
I'll do that.

Well, Mrs. Stephens,
thank you so, so much.

Oh, no,
Mr. Rightmire.

Thanks to you, we've had
an enchanting evening.

So be it.

Let me sum up by saying
what you've all heard

many times before.

Discount coincidence,

discredit fate,
dispense with superstition

and you'll be secure

as I am in the conviction
that there is no such thing

as witchcraft.

BEVERLY:
Mr. Rightmire!
Mr. Rightmire!

Ta-ta!

[♪♪♪]