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1
00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:05,004
[VACUUM HUMS]
2
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:14,780
[VACUUM TURNS OFF]
3
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,915
Mother!
4
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,350
Oh, hi, sweetheart.
5
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,486
Just what do you think
you're doing?
6
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,154
It's called
vacuuming the draperies.
7
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,188
Excuse me.
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,556
Honey,
I don't want you
9
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,125
bending and stretching
like that.
10
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,526
Not in your condition.
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,994
Well, I appreciate
your concern,
12
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,029
but I'm fine.
13
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,264
And I want to
keep it that way.
14
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,665
I don't want you
to lift a finger
15
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:34,967
until after
the baby comes.
16
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:36,235
But, Darrin--
17
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,269
I don't mind you
18
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,637
doing a little
light housework
19
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,572
as long as you
don't tax your strength.
20
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,674
But no bending
and stretching.
21
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,809
You sit right down there.
22
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,744
I'm going to bring you
a glass of milk.
23
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,824
[VACUUM HUMS]
24
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,541
Samantha...
25
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,510
Turn it off.
26
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,614
[LOUD CRASH]
27
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,188
[♪♪♪]
28
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,160
[♪♪♪]
29
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:17,436
That settles it.
30
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,937
We'll hire a maid.
31
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:19,938
What?
32
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,707
Louise and Larry
have a maid.
33
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,208
Esmeralda.
She's a jewel.
34
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,877
Well, I appreciate
the offer, Darrin,
35
00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:25,878
but I don't want a maid.
36
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,446
Why not?
37
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,681
Because I don't want
a total stranger
38
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,583
running my household.
39
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,718
She won't run it,
honey.
40
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,119
She'll just
help you run it.
41
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,487
Besides,
after the baby comes,
42
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,089
we'll have a built-in
baby-sitter.
43
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,390
I'll call the agency
tomorrow
44
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,625
and they'll send
some girls
45
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:40,626
for you to interview.
46
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:43,996
Darrin, I don't--
Sam,
47
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:47,833
I'm concerned about
the health and comfort
48
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,668
of my wife and child.
49
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,203
You really mean that,
don't you?
50
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,939
Yeah.
All right,
all right.
51
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,707
Bring on the girls.
52
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,009
I'll interview them.
53
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,810
And if I find one
that doesn't frighten me,
54
00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,811
I'll hire her.
55
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,080
Thank you.
My pleasure.
56
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:05,217
I hope.
57
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,355
Mrs. Darrin Stephens?
58
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,058
Yes.
I'm from
the employment agency.
59
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,526
My name is
Mrs. Luftwaffe.
60
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,529
Mrs. Luftwaffe?
61
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,365
It's European.
Shall we be seated?
62
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,169
Yes.
63
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,906
My terms are as follows:
64
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,709
I do no cooking, washing,
ironing or heavy cleaning.
65
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,411
I arise at 9 a.m.
66
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,413
I have every Saturday
and Sunday off,
67
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,082
leaving at noon on Friday
and returning at noon on Monday.
68
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,518
My room must have
a color television set,
69
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,387
and I reserve the right
to choose my own wallpaper.
70
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,457
I see.
71
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,392
Now, about references...
72
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,927
Yes.
I'll look at them now.
73
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,964
You want to see my references?
74
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,565
From former housekeepers.
75
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,236
Well, I'm afraid
there haven't been any.
76
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,271
Oh, that's bad.
77
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:02,608
I have a rule against
working for beginners.
78
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,076
Well, in that case,
I won't take--
79
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,545
However, if I decide
you have possibilities,
80
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,213
I might make an exception.
81
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,116
How do you decide
if I have possibilities?
82
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,785
I inspect how neat
you keep your kitchen.
83
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,522
Well, I don't think
that'll be necessary.
84
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,292
I'm sure I don't come up
to your standards.
85
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,661
I'll be the judge of that.
86
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:23,996
Now, where is it?
87
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:24,997
What?
88
00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:25,998
The kitchen.
89
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,167
Oh.
Follow me.
90
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,541
Right that way.
91
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,129
Hi there!
92
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,131
I'm the maid
from the employment agency.
93
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,500
You are?
94
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,901
Yeah.
95
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,070
I always get that reaction
at first.
96
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,439
I mean, just because
a girl is a maid
97
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:10,409
is no reason not to
make the most of her appearance.
98
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,510
Right?
99
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:15,914
I guess not.
And you certainly have.
100
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:19,351
Oh, thanks.
101
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:25,257
Hey, this is
a groovy-looking house.
102
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,992
Yeah, real groovy.
103
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,829
It has a fun feeling
about it, you know?
104
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,030
What does
your husband do?
105
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,533
He's in advertising.
106
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,468
Groovy.
107
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,870
Maybe he could cast me
in a coast-to-coast commercial.
108
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,940
I'm very photogenic.
109
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,243
Here are references from the
last five husbands I worked for.
110
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,246
Don't references
generally come from the wives?
111
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,581
Not in my case.
112
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,650
Somehow I always
seem to establish
113
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,785
better rapport
with the husbands.
114
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,786
Isn't that funny?
115
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,521
Hysterical.
116
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,124
Is your husband
a good dancer?
117
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,325
Groovy.
118
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,693
Would you like to
see a picture?
119
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,228
I'd adore it.
120
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,970
This is my Darrin.
121
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,808
Sweetie,
it's nothing personal,
122
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,610
but I do have
other people to see.
123
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,912
Hi.
124
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:21,913
Hi.
125
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,915
I'm Naomi Hogan.
126
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,217
I'm a refined widow,
127
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,619
and if the job is still open,
I'll take it.
128
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,020
I have my own uniforms,
129
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,021
I love children
130
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,690
and I need the money.
131
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,058
How do you like me so far?
132
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,260
So far, I like you just fine.
133
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,763
But I bet you'd like
to know more about me.
134
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,831
Yes, I would.
135
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,866
Shall we be seated?
136
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,975
Well, I was born
in Cincinnati,
137
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,444
the eldest daughter
of a poor but honest
138
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,279
freelance upholsterer.
139
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,281
Mrs. Hogan--
Oh, call me Naomi.
140
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,482
All right, Naomi,
141
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,451
I wanted to know more
about your experience
142
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,452
as a housekeeper.
143
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,922
Yes.
I was afraid you would.
144
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,157
Why?
145
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:08,427
Because lately my experience
has been lousy.
146
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,729
Due to a clash
of personalities,
147
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,765
I have lost five jobs
in the past four weeks.
148
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,568
Clash of personalities
over what?
149
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:21,907
Well, my general incompetence,
my inedible cooking
150
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,910
and my nervous habit
of breaking whatever I touch.
151
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,646
Well, you have
one obvious virtue.
152
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,814
What's that?
153
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,081
You're honest.
154
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,484
Oh, I'm also desperate.
155
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,753
You see, I'm sending my son
through medical school
156
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,121
and if I don't get a job today,
157
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,622
I won't be able
to meet the deadline
158
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,524
on next semester's tuition.
159
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:43,094
I'll clean,
I'll scrub, I'll slave,
160
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,264
and I'll also sign a note
at 10 percent interest
161
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,599
for everything I break.
162
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,367
Naomi...
163
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,402
Yes, ma'am.
164
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,403
You're hired.
165
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:52,637
You're kidding.
166
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,839
[LAUGHS]
167
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:57,943
So the drunk says
to the gorilla,
168
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,744
"Lady, don't brush me off
169
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,546
just because you're wearing
a mink coat."
170
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:06,251
[DARRIN AND LARRY LAUGH]
171
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,320
Why aren't you laughing,
Louise?
172
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:12,023
Dear, I've heard that joke
at least 50 times.
173
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,659
Mm-hm.
174
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,161
And what's your excuse, Sam?
175
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,796
Hm?
176
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,699
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Larry.
177
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,068
She was busy worrying
about our new maid.
178
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,003
And I don't blame her.
179
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,906
We really should have postponed
this till next week.
180
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,775
You don't have company the first
night you have a new maid.
181
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,544
You give her time
to get adjusted.
182
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,212
LARRY:
That's ridiculous.
183
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,581
If she came from the same agency
that sent us Esmeralda,
184
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,682
she's a seasoned veteran.
185
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,950
Samantha, why don't you go out
186
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,418
and see how she's doing.
187
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,820
I know you're dying to.
188
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,221
Yes, I think I will.
189
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,923
Excuse me.
190
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,866
How ya doing?
191
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,468
Oops!
192
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:57,969
Oh, dear, I'm sorry.
193
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:58,970
That's all right.
194
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,673
It was my fault.
I startled you.
195
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,142
Well, back to
the old lettuce bin.
196
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:06,478
Have you followed
my recipe
197
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,147
for Parisian consommé?
198
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,515
I tried to,
199
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:14,119
but consommé
isn't exactly my long suit.
200
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,788
I see what you mean.
201
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,923
Have you
tasted it yet?
202
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,625
No. Uh, not yet.
203
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:21,760
Maybe I'd better.
204
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,763
In your condition,
it might not be safe.
205
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,265
No, it just needs
a little stirring.
206
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,070
See?
207
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,941
Oh, that's terrific.
Mm...
208
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,909
Thank you.
209
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,744
I mean,
congratulations.
210
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,413
How about that.
211
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:45,283
I made
Parisian consommé.
212
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,252
Now, let's see how well
you did with the roast.
213
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,458
NAOMI:
Is it too well-done?
214
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:57,095
No. No, not really.
215
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,030
You're just saying that
to be nice.
216
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,866
It looks like
a king-size prune.
217
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,902
It just needs
a little basting.
218
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,609
What a baste.
219
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,911
Mrs. Stephens,
220
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,913
that's the best roast
I ever executed.
221
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:15,914
Well,
222
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,283
it looks like
dinner's all ready.
223
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,718
Now, I'll go
and seat the guests,
224
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,919
and you serve
the consommé.
225
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,153
Yes, ma'am.
226
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,290
Oh! And, Naomi,
227
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,424
keep up the good work.
228
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,893
Yes, ma'am.
229
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,499
Mmmm. Superb.
230
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,468
I may not know anything
about cooking,
231
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,535
but I know about eating,
232
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,804
and this entire meal
was magnificent.
233
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,439
Amen.
234
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,575
Thank you.
You mean,
thank Naomi.
235
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:47,078
Yes, thank Naomi.
236
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,484
Morning, Naomi.
237
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,718
Good morning.
238
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,420
Why are you still here
on your day off?
239
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,755
I'm waiting for you
to approve
240
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:57,822
my first week estimate
241
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,891
on what I cost you
in breakage.
242
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,160
Five, seven, nine,
13, 19, 25,
243
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,295
8, 12, 21, 27,
244
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,097
14 dollars and 75 cents.
245
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,667
I figure 5 bucks
for cups and saucers,
246
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,969
$4 for ashtrays,
2.50 for plates.
247
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,172
Naomi, we're insured.
248
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,273
And even if we weren't,
249
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,509
your son needs that money
more than we do.
250
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,244
Mrs. Stephens,
you're the kindest lady
251
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,079
I ever worked for.
252
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,781
And the best homemaker.
253
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:23,782
Really?
254
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:24,783
I can't explain it,
255
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,784
but with you around
256
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,318
to give me handy hints,
257
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,921
I can do things
that I could never do before.
258
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,390
Want me to fix breakfast?
259
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,527
No. No, you run along
and have a nice day.
260
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,962
You know what
working for you is like?
261
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,464
What?
262
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:43,702
It's like all of a sudden
I found my good fairy.
263
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,606
Good morning, Naomi.
264
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,874
Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.
265
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,476
Today is your day off,
isn't it?
Yes.
266
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,144
I'm leaving as soon as
I get my purse.
267
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,145
Well, have a good day.
268
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,848
[PHONE RINGS]
269
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,882
Hello.
270
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,017
Darrin, Louise.
271
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,685
In trouble.
272
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,487
Esmeralda was
just called out of town
273
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:03,955
because of illness
in her family,
274
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,890
and tonight
I'm having a formal dinner party
275
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,258
for eight people,
276
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,329
including that big-shot
new client What's-His-Name.
277
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,231
Right.
H.J. Simpson.
278
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,766
Well, we know
it's an imposition,
279
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,701
but Larry and I wondered,
280
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,505
would you mind lending us Naomi
for this evening?
281
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:24,209
To cook that same wonderful meal
we had with you.
282
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,745
We'd be happy
to pay her $15.
283
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:27,812
Just a second.
284
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,013
Naomi.
Yes, sir.
285
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,082
Would you like to earn
an extra $15?
286
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,417
Oh, I'd love to.
287
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,885
My son, the medical student,
288
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,754
has to get a new pair
of white shoes.
289
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,522
Mrs. Tate needs help
with a dinner party.
290
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,224
What time do you
want her there, Louise?
291
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,792
Oh, about 5:00.
292
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,360
Okay.
Five o'clock.
293
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,965
That's the address.
294
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,566
Thanks a million.
295
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,435
I'll go get a uniform.
296
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,970
It's all set, Louise.
297
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,438
We're not putting you out,
are we?
298
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,873
We really appreciate it.
299
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,241
Don't mention it.
300
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,475
It's Naomi's day off,
301
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,178
so it won't make any difference
to Samantha.
302
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,646
That's okay.
303
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,414
Have a nice party.
304
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,622
Do you still remember
how to cook?
305
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,790
I hope so.
306
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:12,791
So do I.
307
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,192
Naomi sets
a very high standard.
308
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,561
I may be
very hard to please.
309
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,562
Who called?
310
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,563
Louise Tate.
311
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,864
Oh, about what?
312
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,399
Oh, Esmeralda
had to leave town,
313
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,401
so she hired Naomi
to pinch-hit
314
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,737
on a formal dinner party
for eight people.
315
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,238
May I have
my coffee please, honey?
316
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,708
Naomi!
317
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,044
Naomi!
318
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,746
Naomi?
319
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,081
She's gone!
320
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,249
Honey,
what's the matter?
321
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,951
Louise has to cancel
that dinner party.
322
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,553
She can't.
323
00:13:41,555 --> 00:13:42,554
Why?
324
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:43,655
It's in honor
of a client.
325
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,157
Well, then she has to
invite us.
Why?
326
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,461
Because if I'm not there
to give Naomi some handy hints,
327
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,530
the evening is going to be
a fiasco.
328
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,999
Sam, will you please tell me
what you're talking about?
329
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:58,703
Do I have to?
Yes.
330
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:02,874
Well, it's a...
A long story.
331
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:06,578
And I have a feeling you're
gonna hate every word of it.
332
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,089
Looks great, Darrin.
333
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,059
Thank you, Larry.
334
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,461
Larry, I've got
a great idea.
335
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,296
Why don't you and Louise
and Samantha and I
336
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,664
have dinner
together tonight?
337
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:30,301
Well, Sam must've told you
Louise borrowed Naomi.
338
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,669
We're having guests for dinner.
339
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,138
Oh, that's a pity.
340
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,007
I was looking forward
to seeing both of you.
341
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,709
Why?
342
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,277
Oh, just felt like it.
343
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:45,483
Well, uh,
maybe we'll go for a drive.
344
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:49,087
Darrin, I'm kind of busy.
345
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,856
Maybe we'll take a drive through
your neighborhood and drop in.
346
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,224
What for?
347
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,525
A bite to eat?
348
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,595
Darrin, I've already told you,
349
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,664
we're having dinner guests.
350
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,766
Larry, it's just as easy
to cook for ten people
351
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,668
as it is for eight.
352
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,303
I don't get it.
353
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:09,040
Why are you hinting around
to be invited to dinner?
354
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,708
Well, Larry,
we're very fond of Louise
355
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,310
and we don't
see enough of her.
356
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,512
You saw her Friday night.
357
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,382
Yes, and she was so charming
we'd like to see her again.
358
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,051
Okay.
359
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,253
Why don't you come over
to dinner a week from Sunday.
360
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,255
We're busy.
Why don't we come tonight.
361
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,292
Darrin, tonight is business.
362
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,193
I'm wining and dining
old man Simpson
363
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,596
and his son,
old man Simpson, Jr.
364
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,665
I know, and maybe
he'd like to meet
365
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,133
some other members
of your staff.
366
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,236
The only member of my staff
he's interested in meeting
367
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,105
is the man assigned
to his account: Bob Chetley.
368
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,875
Why don't Bob and I
change accounts?
369
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,877
I'll take the Simpson account
and he can take--
370
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,979
Ah,
371
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:51,482
I finally understand.
372
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,017
You finally understand what?
373
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,319
You're jealous of Bob Chetley.
374
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,320
No, I'm not.
375
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,821
Because I gave
the Simpson account
376
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:57,855
to him and not to you.
377
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,123
Larry, that's not true.
378
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,558
I think it is.
379
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,293
Look, may we come to dinner
or not?
380
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,862
You know, with a little work,
Darrin,
381
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,333
you could overcome
this terrible shyness of yours.
382
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,001
Yes or no?
No.
383
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,337
Don't beat around the bush.
Give me a straight answer.
384
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,604
Get out of here, Darrin.
385
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,582
Honey, I'll bet you
a thousand dollars
386
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,017
this doesn't work.
387
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,352
Don't be pessimistic.
388
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,120
You never know
if something doesn't work
389
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,188
until you try it.
390
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,889
All right.
391
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,493
[DOORBELL RINGS]
392
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,430
Well, good evening.
Welcome to--
393
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,898
I don't believe it.
394
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,100
Good evening, Larry.
395
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,535
Here's the book I borrowed
last Christmas.
396
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,738
Thank you.
397
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,774
Do you always get
this dressed up to return books?
398
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,176
No--
Not always,
just occasionally.
399
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,411
As an expectant mother,
400
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,980
I felt a sudden craving
for a formal dinner party.
401
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,715
Samantha, I admire you.
402
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,851
You do?
403
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,520
I like a wife who's interested
in her husband's career,
404
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,156
but don't push him too fast.
405
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,058
Darrin will be made
a vice president
406
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,161
when the time comes,
and not a moment before.
407
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,663
Good night.
408
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,532
[DOOR SLAMS]
409
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,134
Well!
410
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,802
Come on.
Where are we going?
411
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,203
Home.
412
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,506
If Larry thinks we're bucking
for a vice presidency,
413
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,107
we're going to stop
trying to help him
414
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,777
and let him drown
in his own fiasco.
415
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,319
What time is it?
416
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,954
Eight o'clock.
417
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,824
The Tate's kitchen must be
a disaster area by now.
418
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,093
Good.
419
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,461
How's your pizza?
Fine.
420
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:44,729
How's yours?
421
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,963
Delicious.
422
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:50,001
The sweet pizza
of revenge.
423
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:53,671
I, uh...
I forgot the napkins.
424
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,260
[CRASH]
425
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,447
Naomi...
Yes?
426
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,516
If I didn't know how well
things turn out,
427
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:41,085
this mess would make me
very nervous.
428
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,955
Well, I'm not used
to flying solo.
429
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,556
Somehow I feel
much more confident
430
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,425
when Mrs. Stephens
is around.
431
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,439
Isn't this Parisian consommé
a little thick?
432
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,641
No. You just
have to stir it.
433
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,951
When Mrs. Stephens
stirred it... It...
434
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,531
There!
435
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,666
Very good.
436
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,644
There.
437
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,579
What took you
so long, honey?
438
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,448
I put the coffee on.
439
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:47,351
On second thought,
I think I'd rather have tea.
440
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,264
Oh.
441
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,705
Naomi,
you burned it.
442
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,309
It looks like--
Like a king-size prune.
443
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,046
Well, it just
needs to be basted.
444
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,115
Oh, it's hopeless.
445
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,388
Mrs. Tate!
446
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,556
Yes?
447
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,727
What happened?
448
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,396
You see, the secret's
in the basting.
449
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,165
Ah!
450
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,442
Hi.
Ooh!
451
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,777
Uh-oh.
Where have you been?
452
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:47,878
As if I didn't know.
453
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,548
Darrin, I just can't
stand by idle.
454
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,983
Oh, yes, you can.
455
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,185
Larry Tate is getting
exactly what he deserves.
456
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,387
But Louise isn't.
457
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,389
You're not a woman
so you wouldn't understand,
458
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,925
but one fiasco dinner party
can open wounds
459
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,193
that may never heal!
460
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,028
Well, it's worse
than wearing slacks
461
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,796
when everybody else
is wearing dresses.
462
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,765
Darrin, please!
463
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:08,766
Please, what?
464
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,469
Let me go back
and help Naomi.
465
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,871
I promise I'll never use
witchcraft again.
466
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,573
You will?
467
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:18,509
Well...
I'll, uh...
468
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,411
promise to try
and taper off.
469
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,879
Oh, I've got to get back
470
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,081
before something
drastic happens.
471
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:27,018
Well, I guess just because
I'm having a beef with Larry
472
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,753
is no reason to take it out
on Louise.
473
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,621
That's right.
Well, thank you.
474
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,822
I've got to go
make dessert.
475
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,024
Swell.
476
00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:35,026
I suppose you've got
a great dessert planned.
477
00:21:35,028 --> 00:21:36,394
Mm-hm.
Cherries Jubilee.
478
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,696
Boy, I should
get that lucky.
479
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,166
You just have.
480
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,935
Well, back to Naomi.
481
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,473
Good.
482
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,108
Everything's ready
to serve.
483
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:52,443
You see, I told you
484
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,712
you didn't need
Mrs. Stephens around.
485
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,747
I guess not.
486
00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:59,016
I've got
a very funny feeling, though.
487
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:01,319
It's as if
someone's watching over me.
488
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,787
Nonsense.
489
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:04,255
You're a marvelous cook.
490
00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:23,407
Like I said,
somebody up there likes me.
491
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:39,924
Honey, this is the worst
breakfast I've ever eaten.
492
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:42,393
I let Naomi
cook it herself.
493
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,061
In line with my new policy
494
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,730
of trying to give up
witchcraft.
495
00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:47,798
When are you going to fire her?
496
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,899
Soon.
497
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,167
When is soon?
498
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:53,471
As soon as her son graduates
from medical school.
499
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:56,006
Honey, that's--
Mr. and Mrs. Stephens,
500
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,274
I have something to tell you.
501
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,809
Oh?
502
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:01,212
You're the most wonderful people
I've ever worked for,
503
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:02,413
so therefore, I'm quitting.
504
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:03,848
You are?
505
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:05,316
You are?
506
00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:08,219
You deserve the absolute tops
in domestic help.
507
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:09,754
And, let's face it,
508
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:11,856
I am not the absolute tops.
509
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:15,393
Sooner or later
you'd have to fire me,
510
00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:17,361
so I'd like to quit now,
before the baby comes,
511
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:20,297
because even though
I wouldn't do right by it,
512
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:21,799
I know I'd fall in love with it,
513
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,534
and I couldn't bear to leave it.
514
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,504
So it will work better
all around if I leave now.
515
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:30,107
Oh, here's an estimate
of my breakage.
516
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:32,376
Now, Naomi,
you put that away.
517
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:33,844
I told you we were insured.
518
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,447
Oh, this is what I broke
at Mrs. Tate's.
519
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:37,448
Oh.
520
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,250
Three, 9, 10, carry 1,
521
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:41,218
8, 11, 15, carry 1.
522
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,087
Seventeen dollars
and 50 cents.
523
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,556
Well.
524
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,392
Um, Naomi, would you wait for me
in the kitchen, please?
525
00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,660
Yes, ma'am.
526
00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:54,465
Darrin, did you hear
how she added these figures?
527
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,400
Uh-huh.
She's a good adder.
528
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:58,436
Do you think
you could get her a job
529
00:23:58,438 --> 00:23:59,970
in your accounting department?
530
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,372
I bet I could.
531
00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:04,275
Oh, that would kill three birds
with one stone.
532
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:05,476
How three?
533
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:08,446
One, it's a good job
that she could keep.
534
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,581
Two, she'd be making
a bigger salary
535
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,616
and could send more money
to her son.
536
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:15,252
And three, I could go back
to not having a maid.
537
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,988
Honey, do you really
not want to have a maid?
538
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:21,459
More than anything
I've ever not wanted in my life.
539
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,462
Will you look into it
this morning?
540
00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:26,797
I'll look into it this morning.
541
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:29,333
Naomi,
542
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:33,270
Mr. Stephens has just had
a brilliant suggestion.
543
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:45,883
[♪♪♪]
36434
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