All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E14 Speak the Truth 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

[♪♪♪]

[RUNS WATER]

[YAWNS]

Darrin,
is that you?

No, I left
half an hour ago.

Oh.

Hey! Hey,
sleepyhead.

Oh, honey.
I'm sorry.

I meant to get up
and fix your breakfast.

You were sleeping so
soundly and you looked
so beautiful,

I just couldn't
wake you up.

I'm not beautiful.
I'm sleepy
and I look awful.

Not to me
you don't.

You look more
beautiful every day.

Do I really?

Of course you do.

Oh, I'll try to get home
early tonight.

The Hotchkisses and the Tates
are coming for dinner.

And I'm looking
forward to them seeing
my beautiful wife.

I'll see you
tonight.

ENDORA:
Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who's the most gullible
of all?

Mother!

What do you mean "gullible"?

You're getting more and more
human every day, Samantha.

Thank you.

The way you lap up that treacle,
it's just pathetic.

Well, I may not be appealing
to you, Mother,

but Darrin thinks I'm beautiful.

Oh, he's not telling the truth,
and you know it.

[SIGHS]

Thank you, Mother.
You do say the nicest things.

Humans beings can't
get along without lying
to each other.

If they're forced
to tell the truth,

it's instant chaos.

That's not true.

Nonsense.

They're all the same.

Every one of them.
Including your precious Dumpkin.

That's enough, Mother.

Very well, dear.

You'll see.

Hmm.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

All right,
Hagatha.

Here it is,
Endora.

I'm so glad I had one
in stock for you.

These little truth gods
are hard to find.

I knew if anyone would
have it in her shop,
you would.

Nobody seems to be making
them anymore.

There's a lot of handwork
goes into them.

And this new generation
of witches

just doesn't have
the patience.

Where shall I put it?

Oh, uh...how
powerful is it?

Oh, not terribly.
Really.

It is very old,
you know.

But if a human comes within
three feet of it,

he'll just have to say
what's on his mind.

Oh, splendid!

May I see it, Hagatha?

Of course.

Oh, it's a dear
little thing.

Put it on the desk,
Hagatha.

One more thing.

They do know what they're
saying, don't they?

Oh, yes.

And Samantha won't be
affected by it, will she?

Not at all.

She's still one of us,
isn't she?

Oh, of course.
Of course.

Now, would you like
a gift card to go
with it?

Oh, yes.

Thank you, Hagatha.

If I'm not prying
too much,

what did you put
on the card?

Oh, just, "Thought you
might be interested in this.

Uncle Herbert."

He's an uncle of
Samantha's husband

who travels around
the world a lot.

I'd rather my son-in-law
didn't know it was from me.

Remember...
if he doesn't like it,

you can always exchange it
for something else.

Oh, thank you,
Hagatha.

DARRIN:
I'll call him right away,
Miss Thatcher.

Hm.

Miss Thatcher, would you come
in here for a minute?

Yes, sir?

Uh, Miss Thatcher, how did
this package get on my desk?

Well, I don't know, sir.
I hadn't noticed
it before.

My Uncle Herbert's
full of surprises.

He always says--

[BELL DINGS]

That sure is a tight dress
you're wearing.

Your uncle always
says that?

And I second the thought.

Wow! That dress looks like
it was sprayed on.

I beg your pardon?

Yes, sir.

That is a tight dress,
is what that is.

[BELL DINGS]

Well, I'm sorry
if I'm wearing
something inappropriate.

Inappropriate?
Oh, oh, no, no.

Not at all, Miss Thatcher.

That's a very
charming dress.

I shouldn't have
been so personal.

[BELL DINGS]

Well, I don't mind your being
personal, Mr. Stephens.

To tell you the truth,
I wore this dress
especially for you.

I hoped it would get to you.

It's two sizes too small,

and I thought it would be nice
for you to notice

that I was a woman.

Just once.

Uh, Miss Thatcher--

[BELL DINGS]

I-- I was just kidding.

Really. I don't know
what made me say that.

Yes, well, um...

that makes us even.

[PHONE RINGS]

I'll take that
in here.

I wish you would.

Mr. Stephen's
office.

Well, just a moment,
Mr. Burke.

I'll see
if he's in.

Mr. Burke wants to know
if you've done anything

on his advertising
campaign.

I haven't done a thing.

I'd better tell him
I had the chicken pox
or something.

[BELL DINGS]

Hello, Mr. Burke.
How are you?

No, I haven't.
Not a darn thing.

Well, uh,

no, Mr. Burke.

I haven't forgotten
about you.

It's just that
I've been snowed under
with other things.

To tell you the truth,
I haven't been able to work up

any enthusiasm
for your product.

Now, look,
Mr. Burke,

we have a lot more important
clients than you, and--

The same to you,
buddy!

[SLAMS
PHONE DOWN]

Sorehead.

Am I mistaken,

or did you just
throw an account
out the window?

Yeah, I did.
And it's about time too.

What's the matter
with you, Darrin?

An account's an account.

But there are some that just
aren't worth it.

And this is one of them.

And what's more, you knew it
when you gave it to me.

That's very unfair, Darrin.

It's the truth.

I wanted the Hotchkiss account.

I know how to sell
that dishwasher of his.

And besides, a raise
should go along with it.

[BELL DINGS]

What's bugging you
this morning, Darrin?

I gave you the Burke account
because I thought

it was a challenge.

[BELL DINGS]

And I want
no part of it.

That's a miserable man,
a marginal product,

and I have no intention
of knocking myself out.

And you can stop making
goo-goo eyes at
the Hotchkiss account,

because it's mine.

All mine.

Right, Larry. Sure.

And I hope you'll be in
a better mood when we come over

to your house tonight
with Mr. Hotchkiss and his wife.

Yeah, I'll try to be
a good boy.

Mm.

[BELL DINGS]

I'll see you tonight
at 7, Darrin.

I'm looking forward to it,
Larry.

[BELL DINGS]

Big shot!

What did you
stop me for?

What is it I'm
supposed to have done?

You know what you did, Mister.
You went through a red light.

That light
turned yellow

just as I was going
through the intersection.

It was red
all the way through.

It was yellow,
and you know it!

Come on, now,
tell the truth.

May I see
your driver's li--?

[BELL DINGS]

Yeah, it was yellow,
all right.

You admit it?

Yeah. You got me.

Then what did
you flag me down for?

Oh, I was feeling lousy and...

I just felt like I had
to hang one on somebody.

It always makes me feel better,
when I get this way.

Do you get this way often?

You would too.

I've got two enemies
who are trying to destroy

my natural good nature.

My sergeant by day
and my wife by night.

Well, you've got it rough.

Trying to keep people
from killing one another,

and all you get in return
is a nasty look for
all your trouble.

Gee, mister, you really
understand.

You know...you don't meet up
with your kind very often.

Well, I don't feel
this way very often.

Now, would you mind removing
yourself from my car?

I'd like to go home.

Okay, buddy.

[BELL DINGS]

But don't go through
that light again,

or I'll throw the book at you!

Sam, I'm home.

Fine, Darrin.
Be down in a minute.

Okay.

ENDORA:
Yoo-hoo!

Hello,
David.

Did you have
a nice day?

Would you mind flying down
from your roost?

My, we are testy today,
aren't we?

I don't know.
I'm...just not myself today.

Oh, you're wrong.

You're very much yourself today.

Exactly what is that
supposed to mean?

Hi there.

Hi, darling.

[BELL DINGS]

What kind of a kiss
is that?

A cautious kiss.

I didn't want
a roller in the eye.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

But I had to do
my hair for tonight.

You don't mind,
do you?

Sure I do.
All men do.

If women only realized how
ridiculous and unfeminine

they looked with all that
hardware in their hair...

You want me to
look pretty, don't you?

Well, look at it
this way.

How would you feel
if I came tripping
down the stairs

with shaving cream
all over my face

and offered you
my forehead to kiss?

Darrin?

I wouldn't be at my most
attractive, would I?

No. And you're not
right now.

I find his honesty very
refreshing, Samantha.

Well, thank you,
Mom.

[BELL DINGS]

You're welcome.

Well, if this side of me
is so distressing,

I'll go back upstairs.

Oh, Sam.
Sweetheart.

Darling, you are
the one woman
in the world

who can get away
with it.

Even if you tried,
you couldn't be...
not beautiful.

Aw.

My! That's
the sweetest,

whitest little lie
I ever heard.

All right, Mother,
that'll do.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, that's from
Uncle Herbert.

It arrived at the office today.

[BELL DINGS]

Hey...you should have
seen the dress

my secretary
was wearing today.

Mm-mmm, boy!

Couldn't keep your eyes
off of her, I suppose.

Well, it wasn't easy.

[BELL DINGS]

Of course, you can't
compare her with Sam.

Miss Thatcher's--

Well, you take her
out of that dress and--

Is everything set for dinner?

Yes.

Oh, darling.

Don't let a little
thing like that
bother you.

You know how men are
with their secretaries.

Now, wait
a minute!

Wow.

Why don't you two
go on upstairs
and get dressed.

I hope you have
a lovely evening.

Well, thank you, dear.

Don't worry about
your mother.

I'll find something to eat,
someplace.

Okay,
fine.

By myself
somewhere.

Maybe I won't
bother.

When I'm alone,
I just don't
have an appetite.

Why don't you stay
and have dinner with us?

Oh, darling,
that's very nice of you.

Are you sure that
I won't be in the way?

No, no. Of course not.

The Tates love seeing you.
Don't they, Darling?

Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

They really, certainly,
really, really, really do!

Don't overdo it, dear.

Seven o'clock,
Samantha?

Yeah.
Seven o'clock.

Seven o'clock.

Oh.

Well, sir, I looked
that man straight
in the eye

and I said, "Sir...give me
a chance to prove to you

"that a six-year-old
boy can handle

the toughest paper route
in town."

He did.
And I did.

And that's how
I got my start.

Ed, that's
a wonderful,
heartwarming story.

Isn't it,
Darrin?

Certainly is, Larry.
Rice drink, Mr. Hotchkiss?

Oh,
thank you.

I'll have one,
Darrin.

Stephens, that's
a cute wife you've
got there.

Maybe she could help us
write a few slogans
for my dishwasher.

I'm afraid I'm not very good
at that sort of thing.

Yes, it does take
a little talent,
doesn't it?

Larry, that
reminds me.

I thought of
a great slogan for
my dishwasher today.

I'll let you
have it for nothing.

Great, Ed.
Let's hear it.

Everybody ready?

[SNAPS]

Frances.

You're absolutely right, Ed.

I haven't said anything yet.

What was the slogan,
Mr. Hotchkiss?

Well, this is going to
kill you.

Here's how it goes.

"Confucius say,
Don't be wishy-washy.

Buy a Hotchkiss
dishy-washy.”

[LAUGHS]

Hey, that's...
great, Ed.

[LAUGHS]

Uh, Darrin,
make a note of that,

we'll discuss it
at the meeting tomorrow.

Sure.
Sure, Larry.

I won't have to make
a note of that

because...I won't
forget it.

How could I forget anything
as ridiculous as that.

[LAUGHING]

What was that
you said?

"Wishy-washy, dishy-washy."
You must be kidding, Ed.

TATE:
Now, Darrin...

you've got to admit
that it's pretty catchy.

[QUIETLY]
Watch yourself,
Darrin.

Don't get nervous,
Larry.

I know Hotchkiss
is a pet of yours.

[BELL DINGS]

That's right,
buddy boy.

And if anybody's
gonna laugh at
a pet client of mine,

it's gonna be me!

[BOTH LAUGH]

"Confucius
say..."

Did you ever hear of
anything as ridiculous.

I've heard
better ones from
a ten-year-old child.

[BELL DINGS]

Darrin...Larry,
don't tease Mr. Hotchkiss.

[CHUCKLES]

They always do this
with a new client.

LOUISE:
It's a,
sort of, um,

fraternity
initiation.

Junior high school
fraternity.

You must lose
a lot of clients that way.

Oh, no. We only do it
to clients who have
a good sense of humor.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah.
Like you, Ed!

Yeah. Ha-ha!

Well, that's one thing
you can say about me

without fear of
contradiction.

Right, Frances?

Whatever you say, Ed.

A sense of humor
has always been

an important ingredient
in my success.

I've always been able
to laugh at misfortune,

even during
the grim days,

when I was
pulling myself
up the ladder.

Rung by rung I worked
myself up into the appliance
business, until--

Knock it off, Ed.

What did you say, Frances?

You didn't work your way
into the appliance business.

You were kicked into it
by my father

who gave you $25 thousand
when we got married.

How can you say
a thing like that?

It's very easy.

It's the truth.

But--

Darrin...what'd you put
in those drinks?

I don't know,
but I'm willing
to give you odds

we never make it
to dinner.

Now...

Frances,
take it eas--

[BELL DINGS]

Give him
both barrels, honey.

You'll feel
better.

Louise!

You know, I've been
clamming up for years

while he's been
playing “I Love M”"
on his big trombone.

And don't you ever...

[SNAPS AT EVERY WORD]
snap your fingers
at me again.

[SNAPS]

[GASPS QUIETLY]

Say, why don't we all
have another drink, huh?

Samantha, is dinner
almost ready?

Hmm?

LOUISE:
Dinner may be ready,
but Frances isn't.

She has a few more things
to say. Haven't you, honey?

Hmm. Plenty.

But this will do for starters.

The odds against dinner
are going up.

I'll be going up
straight through
the ceiling

if you don't do something.

Okay, honey.

You know, uh...
a little bit
of frankness

can be a very refreshing
and healthy thing.

But a lot of frankness
is a gasser!

[LAUGHS]

What's come
over you?

You interrupted me.

Darrin!

You never talked
like this ever.

Well, it's about time
somebody did,

and it's about time
you listened!

Hold on, Darrin!

Darrin, listen--

You stay out
of this, Sam.

I can handle this,
Larry.

I think it's time for dinner,
everyone.

You might begin
by listening to your wife.

And then your advertising
representatives.

Keep going. Go on.
You're making lots of sense.

ED:
I've waited for years
for you to stop being

that silent, suffering martyr.

You picked a beautiful time
to turn yourself on.

Silent martyr?

Now, you
look here, Ed.

Now, just a minute,
folks.

[BELL DINGS]

I'm not finished
yet!

I think it's time
for dinner, everyone.

Larry?

Uh...I think we ought to
postpone this little
discussion until...

[BELL DINGS]

...right now!

There are ways and ways
of handling an account,

and I don't think
this is any of them!

DARRIN:
Now look, Ed,
we don't tell you how

to make
your dishwashers.

We don't have to,
you make a good one.

But we don't need
amateurs

telling us how to conduct
your advertising campaign.

Well, let's go in,
everyone.

We might as well
fight this out
over dinner.

Darrin, let him
tell him off.

It's his
account!

Louise, if
I want your help,
I'll ask for it!

You leave her alone.
She's a fine,
courageous woman.

Oh, for heaven's sakes,
where's your manners?

We're guests
in this house.

Oh, that's perfectly
all right, really.

This is
my house too,

and I give Frances
permission to say
anything she wants.

Go ahead,
Frances.

Well, why aren't
you laughing, Ed? Huh?

Where's that
sense of humor that
carried you through

those dark days
when you were
climbing that ladder?

[ALL ARGUE]

Why don't we let it wait
until after dinner?

[ARGUING CONTINUES]

Good morning,
daughter.

Good morning.

Is there anything
you'd like to discuss

with your dear
old mother?

Like last night's
disaster, for example?

Wasn't it awful?

Well, as I said,
that's what you have
to expect

when human beings
are forced to tell
the truth.

Oh.

[GASPS]

Mother!

Isn't that right,
my little friend?

Then Darrin's Uncle Herbert
didn't send that. You did.

That's right.

It's a little
truth god.

Hi, sweetheart.
Coffee ready yet?

No, I haven't put it
on yet.

Oh. Well, then,
how come--?

Oh.

Darrin...before you come
any closer,

I think you ought to know
that...Mother sent that.

And any human that
comes near it has to say
what's on his mind.

You see? They just can't
stand the truth.

Any
of them.

That was a mean,
low,

sneaky,
underhanded trick.

Yes, it was.

And I'm quite pleased
with myself.

It was at the party
last night.

Mother kept it
rather busy.

That's what caused
all the trouble.

Oh, fine. Great.

Then all I have to do
is tell Larry

that we were all
under the influence
of a magic statue.

He'll understand.
Simple.

Here's your chance
to explain.

He's coming up the walk
right now.

Have fun,
children.

Moth--!

Oh!

Darling,
I'm sorry.

It's all right.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[GRUMBLES]

Darrin...you made a fool
of yourself last night.

And you darn near
made one of me.

Appeared to me
that everyone was doing
a pretty good job

on themselves...
including you.

Oh, good morning, Samantha.
Lovely dinner.

If you want some,
it's still out in the kitchen.

I tell you, I stayed up
practically all night

trying to calm down
Hotchkiss and his wife.

Not to mention Louise.

Oh, I salvaged
the account,

but I do think I'm entitled
to an apology from you.

Well, Larry, I--

SAMANTHA:
There's no reason
for Darrin to make an apology.

I'm afraid you'll just have to
get along without one.

Well, maybe I can
get along without him
at the office too.

DARRIN:
Why don't
you try?

You've got a deal.

[BELL DINGS]

And it's the worst deal
I ever made.

I need you
at the office,
Darrin.

You know that.
I can't get along
without you.

Oh, that's nice to hear,
isn't it, Darrin?

What about
Mr. and Mrs. Hotchkiss?

Well...

to tell the truth,
I wasn't up with them
last night.

He called me
this morning.

It seems that they
continued the donnybrook
they were having

last night and
cleared up a lot of
old misunderstandings.

They're happy
as larks.

Oh, how sweet.

Did they say anything
about Darrin?

As a matter of fact,
he did.

He said Darrin was right
about the slogan,

and that we know more about
advertising than he does.

He thinks Darrin's
a great guy.

Well, that--
That's fine, Larry.

[BELL DINGS]

You'll be down
at the office
later then?

Of course, I will, Larry.
I'll be there.

As soon as
I get a raise

and full responsibility
for the Hotchkiss account.

What?

[SIGHS]

You drive a hard bargain,
Darrin.

But okay.

See you
at the office.

Thank you,
sweetheart.

Where's
the statue?

Right here,
Mother.

You were
wrong.

Nothing but good
seems to have come
from the truth.

Well, you can't
win them all.

Anything you'd
like to say, dear?

Darling, you're
beautiful, sweet,
charming, adorable,

and I love you
madly.

There,
you hear that?

And that's
the truth.

But your mother is
an irritating,
meddling--

Darrin.
I'm not finished
yet.

I'm gonna say
a lot more.

Oh, no you're not.

As I was saying,

your mother is an irritating,
meddling, nasty--

Well, I guess I told her.

Guess you did.

[ENDORA CACKLING]

[♪♪♪]