All language subtitles for Bewitched S02E02 A Very Special Delivery 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

[YAWNING]
Oh, hi there.

Oh, I'm sorry,
honey.

I didn't mean
to wake you up.

That's okay.

I have to
get up anyway.

Mother's
popping in.

Oh.

Have you told her the news
about the baby yet?

Well--

Sam.

I've been sort of
putting it off.

Oh.

How do you, uh...?

How do you think
she'll take it?

I don't know.

Somehow, Mother doesn't strike
me as the grandmother type.

Well, she is just going
to have to get used to it.

Now, you lie down
for another hour.

I'm making breakfast.

But I'm not
the least bit tired.

Expectant mothers
are always tired.

Why fight it?

But I'm not,
really.

Now, honey,
take it easy.

You don't want to aggravate
those back pains.

I don't have any.

I'll get you something
for the morning sickness.

I don't have
morning sickness.

Don't do that,
honey.

I'll make the bed.

You mustn't
strain yourself.

[LAUGHS]

All right, Darrin.

But I'm fine.
Really, I am.

I don't have any of the usual
symptoms of pregnancy. Not one.

Well...

Maybe one.

[♪♪♪]

[WHISTLING]

Oh, honey.

I was hoping
you'd stay in bed.

I was just bringing up
your breakfast.

That's sweet,
darling,

but I don't want you cooking
and cleaning up after me.

And I don't want you lifting
a finger around here.

Ha, ha!
How cute.

You like that, huh?
Mm-hm.

Now, you come on
over here

and take the load off
our baby's feet.

Darrin, you're going
to spoil me.

Well, I already spoiled
your figure,

I might as well spoil
the rest of you.

And here we are.

Ooh.

There's orange juice
for vitamin C.
Mm-hm.

Hot cereal
for protein.

And milk for good,
strong bones.

And last
but not least,

the food most important to
an expectant mother's diet:

Voilà!

Ooh!
Marvelous!

Honey, I think I've got

a pretty good schedule
figured out.

What for?

Well, to help--
Oh.

Where are you going?

For the butter.

Oh, the butter.
I forgot.

Sit down.

Darrin, how can
I convince you

that I'm perfectly capable
of doing these things.

I'm not an invalid.
I'm just expecting.

Sweetheart, I wouldn't
be acting like this

if you were
just expecting,

but we're positive.

Now, you promise
to take it easy.

All right, Darrin.

If it'll make you happy,
you can do all the work.

But now you've got
to promise me something.

Anything.
What?

When they wheel me into
the delivery room,

you let me take over.

Okay, you got yourself
a deal.

Darrin,

would you check over
these layouts

on the Stanwyck
account?

Yeah, sure,
Larry.

Oh!

Darrin...

I had two eggs for lunch

that looked better
than your eyes.

Well, I didn't get much sleep
last night, Larry.

Having a baby
is pretty rough on a guy.

Already?

You just found out you were
going to be a father.

I know, but I--

No buts, Darrin.

It's only rough
if you let it get rough.

Look, Louise just had a baby,
remember?

So I've been through
this diaper derby.

You know, some women will pull
any trick in the book,

if they think they can
get away with it.

Larry, I appreciate
your interest,

but there really
isn't any problem.

Darrin,

I'm only telling you this
for your own good.

You've got to be
firm with Sam.

Indifferent.

Stop all this
catering to her.

Okay, Larry.

After I cook dinner tonight,

I'll flatly refuse
to mop the floor.

Go ahead, make jokes.

But I've read up on
this motherhood routine.

As a matter of fact,

a well-known doctor has written
a book on the subject:

The Joy of Labor
for Labor's Sake.

The more active the mother,
the more she does for herself,

the happier she'll be,
and the healthier the child.

Really?

Well, it makes sense
if you stop to think about it.

You know, in the pioneer days,
women used to plow the fields,

have their babies during
their lunch break,

and go right on
plowing again.

They did, didn't they?

Well, take my wife, Louise.

She played a round of golf
the day before she had the baby.

Golf?

Of course, it ruined
her backswing.

Darrin, you must force yourself
to be sensible.

And that's just what
you should do.

Larry, I just
couldn't.

You want a happy wife,
don't you?

Naturally.

You want a healthy child,
don't you?

Of course.

Well, then,

at least try it,
for their sake.

Maybe I should.

[SIGHS]

Mother.

Samantha,
how could you?

You know.

I was hoping that
it was just an ugly rumor.

Mother, aren't you pleased?

You're going to be
a grandmother.

That's right,

that's right.

Twist the knife.

Give me just one good reason
why I shouldn't have children.

Don't you see?

You'll be tied to that
mortal oaf indefinitely.

That's what I want.

Oh, Samantha,

you just don't
understand.

He's turning you into
the typical housewife drudge.

Oh, I can just see you
in a few years...

surrounded
by diapers

and bottles
and pacifiers

and wall-to-wall
babies.

Mother, tell me
something honestly.

Aren't you just
a teeny-weeny bit pleased

you're going to have
a grandchild?

Honestly, now!

Will you let me play with
the child whenever I want?

Mm-hm.

With absolutely no
responsibility?

Mm-hm.

You promise never
to call me "Granny"?

If that's what
you want.

Well...

It might be
a bit diverting.

I insist on
one thing, though.

What's that?

That you won't do this
the hard way.

Promise me you'll use
a little witchcraft

to make it easy for you
while you're expecting.

You know how I feel
about that, Mother.

I want to be like any
mortal woman having a baby.

I want to enjoy every
wonderful moment.

Oh, Samantha,

I will not have you
slaving away

while you're expecting
my grandchild.

Ha, ha!
You are pleased.

Well, the least
he could do

is to get someone to help you
with the heavy work.

Darrin can't do
enough for me.

He's very sweet
and considerate,

and won't let me lift a finger
when he's here.

I can imagine.

DARRIN:
Sam, I'm home!

The voice of the turtle.

In here, sweetheart.

You'll see.

He'll be furious
that I'm cooking dinner.

He thinks
I should be resting.

Hi, honey.

Hello,
sweetheart.

I was just
starting dinner.

Oh, good.

I've had
a hard day.

I think I'll take a little rest
till it's ready.

ENDORA:
He certainly
is considerate.

What's that supposed
to mean?

Nothing, dear.

[WHISPERING]
How is everything
going?

Would you put this
on the stove for me?

Well, do it yourself,
Sam.

The exercise
will do you good.

The prosecution
rests its case.

Would you mind getting the corn
out of the vegetable bin?

I don't like to do
too much bending.

A little bending
is good for you.

It strengthens
the stomach muscles.

Darrin, what's gotten
into you?

Nothing.

Give a yell when
dinner's ready, huh?

Fix your own dinner.

[LAUGHING]

Why don't you put a couple of
pounds of lead in each pocket?

It'll toughen up her legs.

She's my wife, and I know
what's best for her.

Well, she's also
my daughter,

and I think you've been
treating her very shabbily.

Especially at a time
like this.

I happen to have done a little
research on the subject.

A very well-known doctor has
a new theory on childbirth,

and I happen to agree
with him wholeheartedly.

Now, if you let
a woman do it,

she'll make a career
out of childbirth.

I'm doing this
for Sam's good.

Believe me, I know every ache
and pain that she has,

and it hurts me more
than it does her.

It doesn't yet,

but it will.

I beg your pardon?

Never mind.

Yoo-hoo!

Wake up!

Wake up, Darrin.

Up, up!

Oh, good morning,
sweetheart.

Morning.

How do you feel?

Fine.
How do you feel?

Well, not that good.

My stomach's a bit queasy.

Oh!

Ah!

What's the matter?

Suddenly I got a backache.

Oh.

Must've slept funny.

Are you
all right?

Yeah.

I feel awfully tired
this morning, though.

Hm.

What's the matter?

My pajama pants
feel kind of tight.

Well, I'll get shaved.

You know, I feel like having
something real crazy

for breakfast this morning.

Me too.

Let's go, Darrin.

They're waiting
in the conference room.

All right.
Don't rush me.

Martin's not
the kind of man

you can keep waiting,
you know.

What's so important
about him?

His soap.

It means half a million dollars
a year to this company.

Money, money, money.
Is that all you think about?

Of course.
What else is there?

A person's feelings,
that's what else there is.

My feelings!

I'm doing the best
I can, Larry.

I'm a human being.

I'm not a machine.

Darrin, what's the matter
with you?

Nothing.

You're crying!

I'm not crying.

Then why are
your eyes all moist?

The sunlight.

Besides, I have
hay fever.

Well, the blinds
are drawn,

and you never had hay fever
before in your life.

All right,
so I'm crying!

I am crying!
So what?

A person has the right to have
a good cry once in a while.

Darrin, I didn't mean
to upset you.

That's all right, Larry.
It's all right.

I'm just--

I'm just
all worn out.

Want to talk
about it?

About what?

Well, whatever it is that's
making you behave this way.

Behave what way?

Well, fidgety,
nervous.

I don't know, Larry.

I've been this way ever since
I got up this morning.

Then skip
the conference.

I can handle
Martin alone.

No.

But, Darrin, if you
don't feel well--

No, Larry.

No, I'm all right
now.

I can handle it.

Darrin checked these
over yesterday,

and I feel the Stanwyck account
will go for this approach.

Phil, are you going
to eat your pickle?

Oh, here,
help yourself.

Thanks.

If I could suggest
a change here,

I think we ought to accent
the product itself more,

rather than
the copy.

It would be more
of an eye-catcher.

Larry, are you going
to eat your pickle?

No.

Now, I think that we've
touched all the bases.

Unless you'd like to add
something, Mr. Martin.

Well, it's just a notion.

I'm inclined to agree
with Larry.

Mr. Martin, are you going
to eat your pickle?

Yes, I am.

I'd like to see the product
a little larger.

Like it was jumping
out of the ad at you.

LARRY:
Exactly.

It would have more
impact that way.

You're not eating it.

I'll eat it
when I feel like it.

If you don't want it,

there's no sense
letting it go to waste.

Darrin,

it's his pickle.

But it's just lying there.

So it's just lying there.

Then why can't I have it?

Darrin!

You have no intention at all
of eating that pickle!

Look, we're not going to have
an argument about a pickle.

I demand your pickle!

Darrin!

Gentlemen, if you will
excuse us for a moment.

Sorry,
Mr. Martin.

[WHISPERING]
Darrin.

What on earth
got into you?

I don't know.

It was like some kind
of crazy fixation.

I just had to
have his pickle.

Darrin, I think your wife's
having a baby

is really getting
to you.

You're like one big
peeled nerve.

That's how I feel.

Look, why don't you take
the rest of the day off.

Go see a doctor.

Get him to give you
a tranquilizer.

Maybe I should.

I just haven't been
myself all day.

I'll see you
in the morning.

Get a good night's
sleep.

Ow!

Easy on the back,
Lar.

Well, blood pressure's
normal, Darrin.

In fact,
everything's normal.

Well, that's good.

There must be
something wrong.

You can put
your shirt on now.

Tell me,

what did you do today

that might have had
an upsetting effect on you?

Well, when I woke up
this morning,

I had an
upset stomach.

Then when I got
out of bed,

I suddenly had
the darnedest backache.

Backache, eh?

Anything else?

Then I had a sudden urge
for something crazy to eat.

Such as?

Oh, ice cream,

watermelon, sardines.

In fact, I got into
a kind of an argument

with a fellow at the office
over a pickle.

A pickle?

I know I shouldn't have
gotten so upset about it,

but, well,
he wasn't eating it.

I see.

Does that add up
to anything, doc?

Well, not in your case,

but I'd say that
if you were a woman,

that you were
going to have a baby.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[STOPS LAUGHING]

Now that you mention it,
it does sound like--

ENDORA'S VOICE:
It doesn't yet, but it will.

Endora.

Endora?

My mother-in-law.

It's nothing.

I hope.

[RINGS]

Mr. Stephens' office.

Oh, good afternoon,
Mrs. Stephens.

Mr. Stephens wasn't too well
this morning.

How is he feeling
this afternoon?

Not well, I'm afraid.

He went to see the doctor.

Doctor?!

What's the matter with him?

I'm not sure.

He was quite strange.

In fact, he got into an argument
with an important client

over a pickle.

A pickle?

And you know
what he wants me

to order for a snack?

Pickled herring
and a strawberry sandwich?!

Anything else?

A backache?!

Have him call me
as soon as he comes back.

Thanks.

Hmm.

Mother?

I would've been here sooner,
darling,

but I was in Rome.

What did you do
to Darrin?

Just teaching him
a little lesson

for the way he treated
you last night.

There was a reason
for that.

I know, I know.
He read a book.

Believe it or not,
he was only thinking of me.

Now, I'll thank you
to stop your meddling,

and take that crazy spell
off Darrin.

Not until I'm ready,
darling.

Now, if you'll
excuse me,

there's somebody waiting
for me on the Via Veneto.

Y--

Mother?

Oooh!

Dave, I got
a problem.

Yeah.

I'm gonna
have a baby.

Yeah, I've made
up my mind.

This is one boy who's
going to stay single-o.

There's only going to be one
control on my electric blanket.

How could she
do this to me?

What'll the
neighbors say?

I mean, I don't know
one happy couple.

Sure, my cousin
Irving says

he's had four years
of happy marriage,

but he's been married
to Selma for 17 years.

What'll I tell everybody
down at the office?

You can't keep a thing like
that a secret for too long.

People start
to notice things.

And what's Irving
got to show for it?

A stack of bills,
that's what.

He's engaged to Selma
all through high school,

all through college.

And the day
they get married,

she tells him she was
in the half of the class

that had all
the cavities.

What will I say
to Sam?

"Guess what, dear?

We're gonna have
babies together"?

No, sir.

They're not shoving me
down that middle aisle.

Hey, I gotta go.

Well, glad I could help,
Darrin.

You all right,
Mr. Stephens?

All right?

Joe, I'm going
to have a baby.

Oh, yeah?

Congratulations to the wife.

Not my wife.
Me.

You?

Yes.
I'm going to be a mother.

That's great.

You'll be the first man
in the world to pull it off.

You'll be famous.

Yeah, I'll be famous.

Fill it up again, Joe.

I never thought of that.

I'll be famous.

DARRIN [ECHOING]:
I'll be famous.

I'll be famous.

I'll be famous.

[SIREN WAILS]

I can't stand this waiting.

Mrs. Stephens?
Mm.

Your husband
had a boy.

Both father and son
are doing just fine.

A boy!

A boy!
It's a boy!

It's a boy!

It's a boy!

You realize you're
the first man in the world

to have a baby,
Mr. Stephens?

Yes.

And they said
it couldn't be done.

You seem most
pleased about it.

Oh, yes.

My wife and I both wanted
a large family.

And this way we can have
twice as many kids.

How is your wife
taking this?

Just great.

Not the least bit jealous.

She even made some
of her old clothes

into maternity
sport coats for me.

Do you have any
immediate plans?

Not at the present.

Just rest,
get my figure back.

I suppose you have big plans
for your first child?

Yes, indeed.

But it could cause
a bit of a problem.

In what way?

Well, as his father, I'd like
him to go into politics,

but as his mother,

I'm against it.

[ECHOING]
I'll be famous.

I'll be famous.

I'll be famous.

You sure you're all right,
Mr. Stephens?

Hm?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Joe.

Darrin.

Oh, Sam!

I had a feeling you'd be here
drowning your sorrows.

Am I glad
to see you.

Darling, I think
you've had enough.

Let's go home.

Honey,
I'm not drunk.

I've got something
to tell you.

Yes, I know.

Oh, no,
you don't know.

Now, listen to me.

I'm going
to have a baby.

Mother told me.

I know all
about it.

I'll have to have
my pants let out.

Darling, they're
only symptoms.

We'll be rid of
them soon enough.

Really?

Yes, sweetheart.

I hope so.

I've had
a terrible day.

I know,
sweetheart.

Come on,
come on.

Oh, hello there.

I didn't see
you come in.

How about that character
that just left?

I'll bite,
how about him?

Well, didn't you
hear him?

He thinks he's going
to have a baby.

Isn't that wild?
Ha, ha.

Not necessarily.

Well, it's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.

I've got five kids.

Another one on the way
right now.

Why, it's a snap.

Nothing to get
shook up about.

Heh, heh.

Imagine a guy thinking
he's going to have a baby?

Oooh!

Boy, suddenly
I got a backache.

You don't say.

I hope it goes away
by tonight.

I'm supposed to go bowling.

I wouldn't advise that...

in your condition.

Here you are,
sweetheart.

Just a little something
to keep your strength up.

You didn't have to go
to all that trouble.

I could've done it.

No chance.

I'm back to spoiling
you rotten.

How do you feel?

Great.

But if that mother of yours ever
pulls a stunt like that again,

I'm going to use
a little magic of my own.

Make a few of her
teeth disappear.

And no jury
will convict you.

Now, is there anything
else I can get you?

Darrin,

we have
a long way to go.

If you keep this up,

you're going
to be awfully tired

by the time
the baby's born.

Don't argue.
Eat, eat.

Seriously, darling,

you can't go on waiting
on me like this.

I'm not an invalid.

I feel perfectly fine.

Sam, don't try to tell me
how you feel.

I know how you feel.
Exactly.

Remember?

Yes, come to think of it,
you do.

That's right.

I'm a man in a million.

So big deal.

I've always known that.

Cheers!

[♪♪♪]