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1
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,572
Samantha...
2
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,241
what did you say the name
of this establishment is?
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,242
Mario's.
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,877
Mario's.
5
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,379
I'm amazed.
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,181
This is the best Italian food
I've had this century.
7
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,483
It is good.
8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,650
Mmm.
9
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,186
Just taste this veal marsala.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,690
Only on the condition
that you taste the fettuccini.
11
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,558
It's a deal!
12
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,162
Mother.
13
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,232
Mmm!
14
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,534
Delicious!
15
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,202
Mmm.
16
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,004
Superb.
17
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,381
Ladies, excuse me.
I would like to know.
18
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,649
Everything satisfactory?
19
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,017
It certainly is.
20
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,985
Please pay our compliments
to the chef.
21
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:54,986
Thank you.
22
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,121
You're the chef?
23
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:59,090
I am Mario's chef,
Mario's waiter,
24
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,627
Mario's cashier,
Mario's everything.
25
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,496
To make a long story short,
I am Mario.
26
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,398
Why don't you have hired help?
27
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,801
Signora, you see,
business is so terrible,
28
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,335
I am the only one I can afford.
29
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,038
You mean, with such superb food
30
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,573
at such reasonable prices...
31
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,274
I will put it in one word.
32
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,275
Hmm?
33
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,277
Pizza.
34
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,879
Pizza?
35
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,314
Si. Pizza.
36
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,983
You see... Excuse me.
37
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,118
In the confusion
of this atomic age,
38
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,587
people who are not Italian,
39
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,956
and they want to order
Italian food,
40
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,658
they don't order
veal scaloppini,
41
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,892
fettuccini a la Bolognese.
42
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:34,893
No!
43
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:35,961
They want pizza!
44
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,896
But it isn't even on your menu.
45
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,098
It's not going to be.
Oh, no!
46
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,001
I belong to a family
of men who have been
47
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,070
artists in the kitchen
for five generations.
48
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:48,106
And I modestly belong
to this glorious tradition.
49
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,710
So I refuse, I refuse to slap it
in the face with pizza.
50
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,078
This makes sense, no?
51
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,212
Absolutely!
52
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,914
And it makes no difference.
53
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:59,084
Because my restaurant
is going to fail.
54
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,853
My wife and children
are going to starve.
55
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:04,523
And today's dessert
is zabaglione.
56
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,832
I don't ordinarily feel
sorry for human beings.
57
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,101
But I do feel sorry for him.
58
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,469
So do I.
59
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,307
I think I'll ask Darrin to help.
60
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,642
How?
61
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,843
Washing dishes?
62
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,379
Mario's isn't a success
63
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,314
because the public
doesn't know about it.
64
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,483
Advertising
is Darrin's business.
65
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,285
Informing the public
is Darrin's stock in trade.
66
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,321
Hardly.
67
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,089
His stock in trade
68
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,026
is contributing to
the delinquency of my daughter.
69
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,127
Mother?
70
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,128
What?
71
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,397
You're a tough woman.
72
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:48,834
You're a great witch,
but you're a tough woman.
73
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,580
[♪♪♪]
74
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:52,998
Hi, honey.
75
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,967
Welcome home, my hero.
76
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,301
Your hero is pooped.
77
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,203
Routine overwork
or special crisis?
78
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,537
Both.
79
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,907
We have an important new client
for whom we're planning
80
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,844
a major saturation
campaign, and he...
81
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,178
No.
"No" what?
82
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,380
No, I won't bring
my problems home.
83
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,849
I will leave them at the office
84
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,818
like the mature executive
I wish I were.
85
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,486
Now, how did your day go?
86
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,088
Oh, just wonderfully.
87
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:19,190
Mother and I went to the most
marvelous Italian restaurant
88
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,593
called Mario's...
This guy's a real tiger.
89
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,594
Who?
90
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,029
Linton Baldwin.
91
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,463
It's a new account.
92
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,565
He goes through
advertising agencies
93
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,068
like women go
through new dresses.
94
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,203
I'm sorry.
A restaurant called what?
95
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,572
Mario's.
The food is superb.
96
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,742
Mother had veal marsala
and I had...
97
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,410
In the past three weeks,
he's changed agencies twice.
98
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,946
Darrin.
Hmm?
99
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,815
You're not exactly leaving
your problems at the office.
100
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,216
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
101
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,119
It's on my mind.
I just can't shake it.
102
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,620
Don't fight it.
103
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,589
You tell me about Mr. Baldwin
and I'll tell you about Mario's.
104
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,324
Okay?
Okay.
105
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,161
Linton Baldwin is the shining
light of the pizza industry.
106
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,797
No kidding?
No kidding.
107
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,399
He owns the largest chain of
pizza parlors on the West Coast.
108
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,234
And now he's expanding
to the East Coast.
109
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,336
He wants McMann and Tate
to get him off the ground
110
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,604
with flying tomato paste.
111
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:10,608
Darrin, you have no idea
what a coincidence this is.
112
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,645
Mario was saying that pizza's
putting him out of business.
113
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,113
Why?
114
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:20,085
Well, in this atomic age
when non-Italians...
115
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,921
Honey, take a look
at this newspaper ad.
116
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,290
It runs in tomorrow
morning's paper.
117
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,892
Uh-huh.
118
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,261
Tell me what you think.
119
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,098
"Perfect Pizza"?
That's the name of the product.
120
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:37,969
Darrin, would you consider
a pizza parlor a restaurant?
121
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,838
I guess so.
122
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,472
Well, sure. Why?
123
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,209
Well, obviously you believe
a good way to inform the public
124
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,643
that a restaurant exists
125
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,746
is by taking out an ad
in the newspaper, right?
126
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,181
Right.
Oh.
127
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:52,784
Sweetheart, I'm going to drown
my sorrows in a hot shower.
128
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,221
Thank you for being
so sympathetic and patient.
129
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,223
Anytime.
130
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,492
[SIGHS]
131
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,963
Now...
132
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:08,266
let me see.
133
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:14,840
"For the finest in Italian
cuisine, eat at Mario's."
134
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:19,811
"Treat your taste buds
to lunch or dinner at Mario's."
135
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,114
No. Keep it simple.
136
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,282
"Eat at Mario's."
137
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,717
That's it!
138
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,585
"Eat at Mario's."
139
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,322
[GEARS SCREECH]
140
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,472
[WHISTLING]
141
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,921
Good morning, sweetheart.
142
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,490
Now, let's see how
my ad looks in print.
143
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:08,059
Ah, here we are.
144
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,796
One-quarter page
of advertising genius.
145
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:11,797
Gorgeous!
146
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,064
Now eat your breakfast.
147
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,599
It's not bad.
148
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,001
Not bad at all.
149
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,971
That's a full-page ad.
150
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,472
Mm-hmm.
151
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,176
A full-page ad
for an individual restaurant.
152
00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:25,410
Mm-hmm.
153
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,679
Whoever took that out
must be nuts.
154
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:28,780
Why do you say that?
155
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,949
Do you know how much
a full-page ad costs?
156
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,650
No. How much?
157
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,752
It costs...
158
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,757
Yes, dear?
159
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,961
Sam, isn't Mario's
the place you ate yesterday?
160
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,029
Yes.
161
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,265
Sam, you didn't by any chance...?
162
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,071
Sam?
163
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,774
You didn't...
164
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,144
put an extra page
in the newspaper, did you?
165
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,548
Sam!
166
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,651
Well...
167
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,821
Sam, you promised never
to do that again.
168
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,390
He's such a nice man.
169
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,992
I only wanted to help.
170
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,626
When is this going to end?
171
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:19,231
I was only trying to inform
the public that Mario's exists.
172
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,632
And in case you were wondering,
173
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,269
a full-page ad my way
doesn't cost a nickel.
174
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,536
I wasn't wondering.
175
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,205
Darrin, are you upset?
176
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,639
Of course I'm upset!
177
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,641
Because my ad's bigger
than your ad?
178
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:31,709
Guess again.
179
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,144
Because you think
180
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,413
that taking out an ad
by witchcraft is cheating.
181
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,682
That's closer.
182
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,185
Because I think taking out
an ad by witchcraft is criminal!
183
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,686
Crimi...?
184
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,021
But why?
185
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,823
I didn't replace a page,
I only added one.
186
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:46,824
Whom did I hurt?
187
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,827
Whom did you hurt, she asks.
188
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,196
You hurt the publisher
189
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,631
who offers advertising space
to make money.
190
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,500
You also hurt
the other advertisers
191
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,770
who resent paying for something
that somebody else gets free.
192
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,106
You also hurt
the United States of America,
193
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:05,143
a democracy whose economic
system is called capitalism.
194
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:09,014
Oh. Well, those are good points.
I should've thought of them.
195
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,515
Well, why didn't you?
196
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:15,053
I was so anxious to help Mario
get some customers.
197
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,422
His food really is wonderful.
198
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,690
He deserves to be a success!
199
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:22,394
I promise I won't do
anything like that again.
200
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,429
Good.
201
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,264
Am I forgiven?
202
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,765
I guess so.
203
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:28,767
I like your motives.
204
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,869
But I don't like you
drumming up business
205
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,306
for one of
Perfect Pizza's competitors.
206
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:35,773
Mario doesn't serve pizza.
207
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,542
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
208
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,877
Then maybe your husband's client
won't be jealous.
209
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,446
Good.
210
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,515
I hope.
211
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:49,020
How come Perfect Pizza
gets a quarter page,
212
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:52,023
and Mario's restaurant, of which
I never even heard of,
213
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,458
gets a full page?
214
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,994
Mr. Baldwin, taking out a full
page for a single restaurant
215
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,462
is poor advertising.
216
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,231
We at McMann and Tate don't put
all our eggs in one basket.
217
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,699
We diversify.
218
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,368
I'm not selling eggs.
219
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,604
I'm selling 21 delicious
varieties of pizza.
220
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,905
We appreciate that.
221
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,442
But nevertheless...
Okay, forget it.
222
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,677
I just wanna make it clear
223
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,013
I don't enjoy
playing second fiddle.
224
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:18,216
With me, selling pizza
is more than a way
225
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,353
of being a multimillionaire.
226
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,820
It's a public service.
227
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,255
A public service?
228
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:29,361
As a small boy in Modesto,
California, I had a dream.
229
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,562
A dream of American families,
230
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,566
men, women and children,
sitting together, eating pizza.
231
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,903
Nobody sulking about
not getting the kind they like,
232
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,706
because they chose
from 21 varieties.
233
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:45,210
Just having a hot nutritional
meal and being together.
234
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,480
That's a...
an interesting dream.
235
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:51,782
I guarantee you that if every
American family went out
236
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,784
for pizza only twice a week,
237
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:56,388
the national crime
and unemployment rates...
238
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,489
[SNAPS FINGERS]
239
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,058
would disappear.
Am I right or am I right?
240
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,859
Well, uh...
241
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:06,097
The irony is that I can't seem
to find an advertising agency
242
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,133
who can put that message across.
243
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,168
Er, uh, Mr. Baldwin,
244
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,404
it's almost time for your show.
What show?
245
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:15,373
Phase two of McMann and Tate's
saturation campaign.
246
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,209
You're the new sponsor
of a local TV game show.
247
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,011
Well, now you're talking!
248
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,781
I'll just warm up the set.
249
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,623
Good morning, dear.
250
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,059
Good morning, mother.
251
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,827
I just saw your advertisement
for Mario.
252
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:37,995
You did?
253
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,432
I must tell you
I wasn't very impressed.
254
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,732
Why not?
255
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,935
Ehhh, it's too mundane.
256
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:47,338
Eat at Mario's.
126 Adams street.
257
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,474
Why, it wasn't even
on the front page.
258
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,943
Now, you should
be more creative.
259
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,844
I thought it was rather good.
260
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,313
Where are you going?
261
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,914
To turn on the television set.
262
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,117
At 10:30 in the morning?
263
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,553
Oh, Samantha!
264
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,622
You're becoming
the typical suburban housewife.
265
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,624
Thank you.
266
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,261
Darrin asked me to watch
one of his commercials.
267
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,796
[GROANS]
268
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,766
[RAMBUNCTIOUS THEME PLAYING]
269
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,268
Good morning, game lovers.
270
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,705
It's time to play
Your Guess is as Good as Mine,
271
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,340
brought to you by Perfect Pizza.
272
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,774
That's Darrin's account.
273
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,643
It is?
274
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,845
There's a Perfect Pizza
parlor near you.
275
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,381
Eat it there or take it home.
276
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,585
The quality of the 21 varieties
of Perfect Pizza
277
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,785
is perfect.
278
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:35,787
Cute!
279
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,291
However, if you hate pizza,
as many people do,
280
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:44,662
try the utterly divine
veal marsala at Mario's,
281
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,431
126 Adams Street.
282
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,437
Now let's introduce
our first guest.
283
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,005
Mother!
284
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,039
Why did you do that?
285
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,074
To help Mario.
286
00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,612
And to show you what
I meant by being creative.
287
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,882
I demand to know what a plug
for Mario's restaurant
288
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,685
is doing on a program
sponsored by Perfect Pizza!
289
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,887
M-Mr. Baldwin,
I-I-I have no idea.
290
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,523
TATE:
It must be some kind of payola.
291
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,557
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
292
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,924
No calls.
293
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,593
We'll conduct an investigation.
294
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:19,964
You do that, while I conduct
a series of lawsuits.
295
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,232
Lawsuits?
296
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,301
I'm gonna sue that TV station.
297
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,537
I'm gonna sue
that wise-guy announcer,
298
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:28,706
and I'm gonna sue
McMann and Tate!
299
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,108
Mr. Baldwin, you gotta give
us a chance to get to the...
300
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:34,612
You had your chance
and you flubbed the dub.
301
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,448
I'm canceling my account.
302
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,786
Effective immediately,
as of now.
303
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,688
You know who I'm signing with?
304
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,056
No. Who?
305
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:49,093
The advertising agency
who handles Mario's restaurant.
306
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,302
Mr. Baldwin, wait.
307
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,636
Let's not be hasty.
308
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,172
Alice, get me my wife.
309
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,007
She is?
310
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,042
Put her on.
311
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:06,944
Samantha, why did you do it?
You promised me.
312
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,479
Darrin, I didn't do it.
313
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,514
Mother did it.
314
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,948
Tattletale.
315
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,183
Don't be silly, darling.
316
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,784
What good would it
do to kill her?
317
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,720
I'd come right back
and haunt him.
318
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,656
Will you please be quiet?
319
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,561
He's canceling his account?
320
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,496
He wants to sign with who?
321
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,298
But there isn't any!
322
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,633
Darrin, how can he sign...
323
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:29,867
[LINE CLICKS]
324
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,069
Darrin?
325
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,038
Dar...
326
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,106
He hung up on me.
327
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,874
There, you see?
328
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,643
He's no true gentleman.
329
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:39,644
Mother?
330
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,145
Yes, dear?
331
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,316
Congratulations.
332
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,719
You have just won a new client.
333
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,122
And I have just
lost an old husband.
334
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:56,827
Ohhh.
335
00:14:56,829 --> 00:15:00,565
Oh, poor baby.
336
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,433
Oh, don't worry.
337
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,202
Mother will make
everything all right.
338
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,471
How?
339
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:09,741
We'll make Mr. Pizza
change his mind.
340
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,976
His name is Baldwin,
341
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,679
and I have no idea what he looks
like or where to find him.
342
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,484
Wanna bet he's at Mario's?
343
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,454
In search of revenge?
344
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:27,191
In search of the name of
Mario's advertising agency.
345
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,527
Would you like
to drop over and look?
346
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,729
Let's. I'll go
upstairs and change.
347
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,332
We haven't time.
We'll change on the way.
348
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,600
Fine. Ready?
349
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:36,602
After you.
350
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,840
That's my gal!
351
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,779
Mister, please,
I-I have no time to chitchat.
352
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,714
I have 36 reservations
for lunch.
353
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,017
In other words, your advertising
campaign is really paying off.
354
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,585
How many times
I have to tell you?
355
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,788
I don't know what
you're talking about.
356
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,656
Come on, Mario, be a sport.
357
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,492
All I want is the name
of your advertising agency.
358
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,060
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
359
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,762
I'm a one-man operation!
360
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,765
You mean, you placed the ad
and the commercial yourself?
361
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,434
I don't place nothing!
362
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,636
Well, then how'd they get there?
363
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,705
I plead the fifth amendment.
364
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,172
Look, Mario,
365
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,241
I don't blame you
for not wanting to share
366
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,544
a live-wire organization...
367
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,313
when there are so many deadbeats
like McMann and Tate.
368
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,615
Look, I'll make you
a proposition.
369
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,983
You give me their name,
370
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,018
and I'll amalgamate you
into my chain.
371
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,286
What chain?
372
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,358
"Linton H. Baldwin.
373
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,860
"Chairman of the board.
374
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,328
Perfect Pizza Parlor."
375
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,496
Yeah.
376
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,299
Why'd you do that?
377
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,301
Why? Because I don't
wanna be amalga...
378
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:45,570
[STAMMERING]
379
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,238
Mixed up with
this pizza business.
380
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,840
Not even for
one million dollars.
381
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,341
Why not?
Why not?
382
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,010
Because it's...
It's an insult to humanity.
383
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,146
Now, see here, buddy, see here!
384
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,750
As a small boy
in Modesto, California...
385
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:01,151
Now that I discover
that you are in the pizza,
386
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,820
I order you to leave
the premises.
387
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:03,921
[BOTH CLAPPING]
388
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,691
Wh...?
389
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,395
Who applauded?
390
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,529
I don't know.
391
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,898
Maybe somebody
up there likes me.
392
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,534
Are you implying
that pizza is atheistic?
393
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:20,571
I am implying once more
for you to leave my premises.
394
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,475
If it wasn't beneath my dignity,
395
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,944
I'd sue you
for public obscenity.
396
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,179
Oh...
397
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,215
[MUTTERING IN ITALIAN]
398
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,520
Well, we found him.
399
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,122
Now what do we do to get him
back with McMann and Tate?
400
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,425
Well, we'll do the same thing
we did for Mario.
401
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,147
We'll advertise.
Oh?
402
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,708
We'll take turns.
403
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,876
You're on.
Me?
404
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,311
Yes.
405
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,328
Very nice!
406
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,771
Your turn.
407
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,872
Let's see.
408
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,340
Sandwich signs.
409
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,842
Billboards.
410
00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:34,879
I think I'll try skywriting.
411
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,105
Baldwin said he would.
412
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,974
He did.
413
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,375
He did what?
414
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:08,345
Signed with the agency
that handles Mario's restaurant.
415
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,647
Come look.
416
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:12,650
[PLANE BUZZING]
417
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,189
Yeah.
418
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:20,725
Yeah, I guess he did.
419
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,093
[BELLS JINGLING]
420
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,436
Well, what'll it be,
little girl?
421
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,905
I want a Perfect Pizza.
422
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:35,806
Sorry, no pizza.
423
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,441
Just plain old ice cream.
424
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:41,779
If I can't have a Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
425
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,849
What'll it be, sonny?
426
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,483
I want a Perfect Pizza.
427
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,285
No pizza.
428
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:49,987
Only ice cream.
429
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:53,090
If I can't have a Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
430
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,298
Shades of Modesto, California.
431
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,733
[DOG BARKING]
432
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,139
I want Perfect Pizza...
433
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,141
too.
434
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,980
Pardon me, ladies.
435
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,450
Did you hear that dog say,
"I want Perfect Pizza too"?
436
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,918
Yes, we did.
437
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,920
A talking dog!
438
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,656
It must be some publicity stunt.
439
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:29,326
Probably arranged by that
live-wire advertising agency,
440
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,327
McMann and Tate.
441
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,863
You know McMann and Tate?
442
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,465
Doesn't everyone?
443
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,734
Well, they're the best
in the business.
444
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,570
Whoever owns Perfect Pizza is
lucky to be their client.
445
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,571
Shall we go, dear?
446
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,839
Yes, mother.
447
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,274
And let's drop into
our nearest Perfect Pizza Parlor
448
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,712
and lay in a six-month supply
for our family freezer.
449
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,790
Darrin, you know why I never
like to lose an account?
450
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:01,926
I think so.
451
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,193
Lower profits?
452
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,394
No.
453
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,497
Because I can't stand
to feel rejected.
454
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,065
I learned that in my analysis.
455
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,034
I didn't know
you were analyzed, Larry.
456
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,568
Seven years.
457
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:15,706
When the doctor told me not to
come back because I was cured...
458
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,774
I felt rejected.
459
00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:19,576
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
460
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,445
Yes?
461
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,615
Yes, Mr. Tate's here.
Who's calling?
462
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,617
Uh, just a second.
463
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,553
[WHISPERS]
Linton H. Baldwin.
464
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:31,221
[EXHALES]
465
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,623
Tate speaking.
466
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,827
On second thought, I decided not
to switch agencies in midstream
467
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,162
and to stay with you.
468
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,032
[WHISPERS]
He wants us back.
469
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:44,135
May I ask what prompted you
to change your mind?
470
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,402
The sandwich signs?
471
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:47,104
A... A billboard?
472
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:50,240
The skywriting, I saw.
473
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,543
Two kids in the park?
474
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,844
And a talking dog?
475
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:57,948
Mr. Baldwin, I...
476
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,884
You'll sign a one-year contract.
477
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,888
Uh... hold on.
478
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:07,357
Mr. Stephens, have we replaced
the Perfect Pizza account
479
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,999
or can we still handle it?
480
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,697
I'll take a look, Mr. Tate.
481
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,765
No, I think we can handle it.
482
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,466
Oh, good.
483
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,202
Mr. Baldwin,
you're in luck.
484
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,937
It's a deal.
485
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,471
You're welcome.
486
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,374
We're not rejected.
487
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,279
Hey, mack, how about
a balloon for the kiddies?
488
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,948
No, thanks.
489
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:34,384
If I can't have Perfect Pizza,
I don't want anything.
490
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:38,089
[MOUTHS]
Perfect Pizza.
491
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,426
Hi.
492
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,795
I was just passing by,
493
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,497
so I thought I'd drop
in and say hello.
494
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,498
Hello!
495
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,499
Hello.
496
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,768
Hello.
497
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:53,337
Darrin, what do you know
about that skywriting
498
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:56,273
and the sandwich signs
and a billboard
499
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:59,009
and two kids in the park
and a talking dog?
500
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:02,379
They're all part of Darrin's
campaign for Perfect Pizza.
501
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,480
They are?
502
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:07,184
Oh. Didn't you
tell him?
503
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,854
I was saving it for a surprise.
504
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:13,057
I didn't wanna get your hopes up
in case it didn't work out.
505
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,291
Well done!
506
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:16,627
My, you certainly
are a creative executive.
507
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:18,028
I hope you appreciate him.
508
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,297
I do! I do!
509
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:23,567
You son of a gun.
510
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:26,237
[MOUTHS]
511
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:34,145
MARIO: Let me suggest veal
scaloppini with mushrooms.
512
00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:36,147
For the children, we have
spaghetti or ravioli.
513
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:38,515
What would you like?
514
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:39,683
Mrs. Allen?
515
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,351
Come with me please.
516
00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:46,190
Oh! I'm flattered to be included
in your celebration, Daniel.
517
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:47,258
Darrin.
518
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,926
Well, I'm delighted
to include you.
519
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,727
Sam tells me it
was all your idea.
520
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:53,063
Maybe it will be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
521
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:54,064
Maybe it will.
522
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:55,365
And I'm deeply grateful.
523
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:56,500
Although in the future,
524
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,368
I would appreciate
you letting me handle
525
00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,636
my campaigns by myself.
526
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:00,905
Do you think you can?
527
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:02,439
Of course, he can.
528
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,609
Except in special circumstances,
he needs no help from anyone.
529
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,044
Table for three?
530
00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:08,745
Please.
Your name, please?
531
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,347
Stephens.
532
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:12,516
Do you have a reservation?
533
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:13,650
No, I'm afraid I don't.
534
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,552
Well, I'm sorry.
Without a reservation,
535
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:18,989
there'll be a 40-minute wait.
536
00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:22,193
My two customers from
before I am successful, eh?
537
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,261
I remember!
How you like, eh?
538
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,463
Luigi, sit down the ladies
and the gentleman.
539
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,932
But they have no reservation.
540
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:30,600
Luigi, I always reserve
a table for old friends.
541
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:32,102
This way please. This way.
542
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:33,670
My, my!
543
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:35,906
Another special circumstance.
544
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,543
It's all right, sweetheart.
545
00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:48,986
[♪♪♪]
37072
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