Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,887 --> 00:00:04,753
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:06,988
Darrin?
3
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,123
Hmm?
4
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:09,892
Better hurry up and
change, sweetheart.
5
00:00:09,894 --> 00:00:11,827
We haven't got much time.
6
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:13,028
Changed? What for?
7
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,897
We're having dinner at the club,
remember?
8
00:00:14,899 --> 00:00:16,799
Oh, I forgot completely.
9
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:18,300
Would you rather not go?
10
00:00:18,302 --> 00:00:20,201
Oh, no, honey, I'll be fine.
11
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,637
Just let me...
12
00:00:21,639 --> 00:00:23,739
Just let me rest here
for a few minutes.
13
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:28,276
Darrin, maybe you'd like
a cup of coffee.
14
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,579
Or perhaps you'd prefer a drink.
15
00:00:30,581 --> 00:00:32,180
[SNORING]
16
00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:33,816
Darrin?
17
00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:38,186
Oh, what
a lovely-looking couple,
18
00:00:38,188 --> 00:00:40,722
except for him.
19
00:00:40,724 --> 00:00:43,559
Does his mouth always
gape open like that?
20
00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:45,360
Only when he's sleeping.
21
00:00:45,362 --> 00:00:47,228
Oh, Samantha.
22
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,832
I don't understand you at all.
23
00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:52,233
I mean, if you had
to marry a mortal,
24
00:00:52,235 --> 00:00:55,504
at least you could've chosen
a better-looking specimen.
25
00:00:55,506 --> 00:00:57,873
I like the way he looks.
26
00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:00,275
Besides, I didn't marry Darrin
just for his looks.
27
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:03,078
What else,
his vivacious personality?
28
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,448
No one sparkles
when they're asleep.
29
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:08,951
Anyway, I think
he's quite handsome.
30
00:01:08,953 --> 00:01:10,418
You're joking.
31
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:13,088
He's got very good features.
32
00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:14,623
Name one.
33
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:17,993
Well, he has a nice firm jaw.
34
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:22,464
You like lantern jaws?
35
00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:24,399
He's got a nice mouth.
36
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:28,136
"Slack" is a better word.
37
00:01:28,138 --> 00:01:30,839
How about his eyes?
38
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,041
Beady.
39
00:01:33,043 --> 00:01:37,178
But don't despair, dear.
He could be fixed up.
40
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,213
Fixed up?
41
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,516
Yes, it's all very simple.
42
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,451
Now, take that dank,
straight hair.
43
00:01:43,453 --> 00:01:46,321
All it needs is...
44
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,456
Well, I'll show you.
45
00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:54,396
Ew. I don't like that at all.
46
00:01:54,398 --> 00:01:56,598
I haven't finished yet.
47
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,667
He needs coordinating.
48
00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:02,671
Now, if we just
straightened out his nose...
49
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,273
Mother, you've gone far enough.
50
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,976
Oh, don't be stuffy, Samantha.
51
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:15,417
What do you think he'd look like
with a mustache?
52
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,118
Oh, no.
53
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,754
That wouldn't be right at all.
54
00:02:18,756 --> 00:02:20,589
Just a little one.
55
00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:23,191
Wait, let me show you.
56
00:02:26,163 --> 00:02:27,295
How do you like it?
57
00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:29,297
On him, it looks good.
58
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,435
His hair's too curly.
59
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,406
Oh...
60
00:02:41,311 --> 00:02:42,510
[PERCOLATOR BUBBLING]
61
00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:43,712
Ooh, the coffee.
62
00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:44,913
What?
63
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,883
Now, don't you do anything
till I get back.
64
00:02:47,885 --> 00:02:48,917
[DOORBELL RINGS]
65
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,552
Oh, Mother,
will you answer that?
66
00:02:53,691 --> 00:02:57,425
[DOORBELL RINGS]
67
00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:02,197
[DOORBELL RINGS]
68
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,273
[DOORBELL RINGS]
69
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,508
Yeah.
70
00:03:22,152 --> 00:03:23,752
Is Mr. Stephens
at ho...?
71
00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:24,886
[SCREAMS]
72
00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:29,825
[SCREAMS]
73
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:35,196
[SCREAMING]
74
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,302
[♪♪♪]
75
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:33,354
That was Gladys Kravitz.
76
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,191
Sometimes I think
that woman's a little strange.
77
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,258
Oh!
78
00:04:39,063 --> 00:04:41,296
Samantha!
79
00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:42,597
[GASPS]
80
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:43,631
Darrin!
81
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:46,234
Samantha!
82
00:04:46,236 --> 00:04:47,335
It's all right, darling.
83
00:04:47,337 --> 00:04:48,369
There's no need to...
84
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,038
My face! What happened
to my face?
85
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,039
Please stay calm.
86
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,440
It was just a little experiment.
87
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,809
An experiment?
88
00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,210
Well, it got a little
out of hand.
89
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,212
Now, darling, there's
nothing to worry about.
90
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,346
I want my old face back!
91
00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:01,149
I want my old face back!
I want my old face back!
92
00:05:01,151 --> 00:05:03,018
Of course you do.
93
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,423
Oh, well,
there you are, sweetheart.
94
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:09,425
Good as old.
95
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,827
Just a little play on words.
96
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,963
Is anything wrong?
97
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:15,964
Wrong.
98
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:18,100
Well, it's all there, isn't it?
99
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:29,611
Samantha, why did you do that?
100
00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:34,950
I suppose you do
deserve an explanation.
101
00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:37,385
Well, it's rather
difficult to explain.
102
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,888
Try.
103
00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:41,389
Well, you were asleep,
104
00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:43,258
and Mother and I
were looking at you,
105
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:47,129
and, well, we got to talking
about your looks and all.
106
00:05:47,131 --> 00:05:49,765
Well...
Well, you know.
107
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,633
Go on.
108
00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:54,102
Well, Mother got sort of
carried away...
109
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:58,807
and gave you a long nose
and curly hair
110
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:01,877
and a mustache, and...
111
00:06:01,879 --> 00:06:04,379
Well, we were just killing time.
112
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:07,883
Oh, sure, it beats jigsaw
puzzles all to heck!
113
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,953
Ooh. Darrin...
114
00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:15,590
Darrin.
115
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:18,393
Naturally, we were
gonna change you back
116
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,228
before you woke up.
117
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,230
Darrin, are you mad at me?
118
00:06:22,232 --> 00:06:23,765
No, that's not the word.
119
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:25,733
Furious?
120
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,535
You're getting warmer.
121
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,207
Darrin, please try
not to be upset.
122
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,342
I'm sorry, Sam.
123
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,344
I've sort of grown accustomed
to my face.
124
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:39,014
I thought you had too.
125
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,622
Darrin?
126
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:48,824
Uh, yes?
127
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,992
These are the layouts
for the Harper campaign.
128
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,294
I'd like to get your reactions
129
00:06:52,296 --> 00:06:53,295
as soon as possible.
130
00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:55,297
Sure. Sure, Larry.
131
00:07:00,537 --> 00:07:02,403
Oh, Darrin,
I forgot to mention...
132
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:05,773
Something in my eye.
133
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:06,774
Want me to take a look?
134
00:07:06,776 --> 00:07:09,777
No, no. It's out.
135
00:07:09,779 --> 00:07:10,778
You were saying, Larry?
136
00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:11,880
Oh, yes.
137
00:07:11,882 --> 00:07:13,648
Well, it has to do
with the magazine copy.
138
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,716
Mr. Harper seems to...
139
00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:18,887
Mr. Harper seems to have
some doubts
140
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,055
about using a lady wrestler
141
00:07:20,057 --> 00:07:22,324
to sell their products.
142
00:07:22,326 --> 00:07:24,259
Darrin.
143
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:26,294
[SNAPS FINGERS]
144
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:27,428
Darrin?
145
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:28,964
Oh, yes. Go ahead, Larry.
146
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:30,565
Something bothering you?
147
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:33,568
Larry, do you think
I'm attractive?
148
00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:34,736
What?
149
00:07:34,738 --> 00:07:37,038
I mean, how would you describe
the way I look?
150
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,740
My physical appearance.
151
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,408
Are you kidding?
152
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:42,377
No. How?
153
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,479
Darrin, I've never
really thought about it
154
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:45,480
one way or another.
155
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:46,814
Never mind that, Larry.
156
00:07:46,816 --> 00:07:49,918
Just give me your honest opinion
of how you think I look.
157
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,486
Well...
158
00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:53,588
you're not the best-looking guy
in the world.
159
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:54,589
You're not even
160
00:07:54,591 --> 00:07:56,271
the best-looking guy
in the room.
161
00:07:57,928 --> 00:08:01,196
But you're presentable, I guess.
162
00:08:01,198 --> 00:08:03,198
I guess you're the wrong person
to ask.
163
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,133
I probably am, Darrin.
164
00:08:05,135 --> 00:08:07,502
After all, you're my friend.
165
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:08,669
You're bound to be biased.
166
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,119
I don't know, Dave.
167
00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:25,353
She says she loves me.
168
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:27,222
Then why did she change my face?
169
00:08:27,224 --> 00:08:28,523
Of course, it's the first year
170
00:08:28,525 --> 00:08:31,092
that's rough.
Rough, rough.
171
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,395
I'm a bachelor, but I know.
172
00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:34,562
The nose, maybe.
173
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:35,997
But the whole face?
174
00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:38,666
Two people, a 50-50 proposition,
175
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,536
give and take,
share and share alike,
176
00:08:41,538 --> 00:08:42,938
it's the only way.
177
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:46,141
I mean, I fell asleep,
and she changed everything.
178
00:08:46,143 --> 00:08:48,910
It's the little things
that count.
179
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:52,180
Candies, flowers,
a new dress maybe.
180
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:55,150
My mother always said
my hair was my best feature.
181
00:08:55,152 --> 00:08:58,053
Take my aunt and uncle,
a mixed marriage.
182
00:08:58,055 --> 00:09:00,455
He's good, and she's rotten.
183
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,523
But they stay together.
184
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:05,060
Fifty years,
but they've stuck it out.
185
00:09:05,062 --> 00:09:06,561
They hate each other.
186
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:08,529
Now, that's love.
187
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:10,298
Sixteen hours a day
I've been working,
188
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,466
and that's the thanks I get.
189
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,968
You're more
than welcome, Darrin.
190
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,402
Hey, I got an appointment.
191
00:09:14,404 --> 00:09:15,404
Well, glad I could help.
192
00:09:19,609 --> 00:09:21,409
Mind you,
my mother-in-law did most of it,
193
00:09:21,411 --> 00:09:22,410
but Sam assisted her.
194
00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:23,644
She even made suggestions.
195
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,413
Normally, I wouldn't
have thought of it,
196
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:29,951
but I figured
at least I should ask.
197
00:09:29,953 --> 00:09:31,152
Go see this man.
198
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:36,191
Dr. McLeash,
he's a plastic surgeon.
199
00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:37,792
Psychiatrist.
200
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,632
Joe...
201
00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,634
has your wife ever tried
to change your face?
202
00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:49,337
Twice. Once with a rolling pin
and once with a seven-iron.
203
00:09:51,908 --> 00:09:54,442
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
204
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,144
Hello?
205
00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:58,713
Oh, hello, Larry.
206
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:01,182
Acting funny?
207
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,450
What do you mean?
208
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:04,152
Well...
209
00:10:04,154 --> 00:10:05,387
Sort of depressed.
210
00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:07,422
Then today
he began feeling his nose.
211
00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:09,824
Feeling his nose?
212
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,792
You mean...?
213
00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:13,161
His secretary noticed it too.
214
00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:14,729
How do you know that?
215
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:16,097
Well, she came up to me
and said,
216
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,233
"Why does Mr. Stephens
keep feeling his nose?"
217
00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:22,937
Then he asked me
if I thought he was attractive.
218
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:24,872
And you know the worst part
of it, Sam?
219
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,007
He wasn't kidding.
220
00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:28,843
Well, Larry,
thank you for your concern.
221
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,512
I'll see what I can do.
222
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,450
Oh, dear.
223
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:41,189
Something wrong
with Derek's nose?
224
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:43,058
Absolutely nothing.
225
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,194
But we've made him feel
drab and ordinary.
226
00:10:46,196 --> 00:10:48,729
Well, let's not take
all the blame.
227
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,631
Mirrors must've had
something to do with it.
228
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,767
Mother.
229
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,569
I wish I could make him believe
230
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,571
you not only love someone
despite their faults
231
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,673
but sometimes because of them.
232
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,875
I love Darrin's nose.
233
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,243
Then tell him.
234
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,278
Don't you see,
235
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,479
it's no good coming from me.
236
00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,147
Well, you may run into trouble
237
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,815
getting someone else to say it.
238
00:11:07,817 --> 00:11:11,786
His ego needs building.
239
00:11:11,788 --> 00:11:14,556
Someone, another woman,
240
00:11:14,558 --> 00:11:16,724
has to tell him
241
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:18,359
that he's the most
attractive man
242
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:19,360
in the world.
243
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:20,695
Darling, don't look at me.
244
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:22,029
I was thinking of me.
245
00:11:22,031 --> 00:11:23,531
You?
246
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:24,932
Yes.
247
00:11:28,238 --> 00:11:30,805
I'll simply
change the packaging.
248
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,276
Voilà.
249
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,978
[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
Do you think I am,
250
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,080
how you say it, glamorous?
251
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:41,349
Oh, Samantha.
252
00:11:41,351 --> 00:11:42,917
I'm proud of you.
253
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,286
Why, you even changed
your voice.
254
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,554
But why the accent?
255
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:51,659
Oh, Darrin is partial
to Brigitte Bardot.
256
00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:54,195
There's just one thing, though.
257
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:56,864
Don't you think your plan's
a little dangerous?
258
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:59,900
Supposing What's-His-Name
likes you too much.
259
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:01,603
Not Darrin.
260
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:04,038
I trust him completely.
261
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:08,109
Well, you said yourself,
he's only human.
262
00:12:08,111 --> 00:12:12,113
Hmm...
263
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:14,415
Maybe you are right.
264
00:12:16,286 --> 00:12:19,187
[LAUGHING]
265
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:23,691
Well, nobody's perfect.
266
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:27,262
We'll see.
267
00:12:38,107 --> 00:12:39,140
Beer, please.
268
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:40,308
What kind?
269
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,577
Any kind.
They're all the same to me.
270
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,379
I just need something
to quench my thirst.
271
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:45,381
Cheers.
272
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,785
Did you see
that ball game today?
273
00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:52,019
No, I didn't.
274
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,822
One of the greatest ball games
I've ever...
275
00:12:54,824 --> 00:12:56,391
Seen.
276
00:12:56,393 --> 00:12:57,958
Real exciting.
277
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,195
[IN SLURRED SPEECH]
Of course, for my money,
278
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:04,365
the Yankees got the best
in the whole world.
279
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,268
What's the matter with you.
Don't you like baseball?
280
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:08,769
Yes, I do.
281
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:12,340
Well, you just
watch yourself, buster.
282
00:13:12,342 --> 00:13:13,841
Baseball is...
283
00:13:13,843 --> 00:13:16,077
America's national game.
284
00:13:16,079 --> 00:13:18,513
And if you...
285
00:13:18,515 --> 00:13:22,283
I don't feel so good.
286
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:23,918
Excuse me.
287
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,422
Pardon me, sir.
288
00:13:31,661 --> 00:13:33,761
On one sip of beer?
289
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,810
Oh, I beg your pardon.
290
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:51,613
I'm sorry, I don't know
how that happened.
291
00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:54,515
Joe.
292
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:56,951
Do not concern yourself.
293
00:13:56,953 --> 00:13:59,053
Could I get you something?
294
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,589
I'll have what you have.
295
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,890
Two, Joe.
296
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,764
Let me be honest.
297
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,132
I am glad it happened.
298
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,267
Glad?
299
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,968
I wanted to talk to you,
300
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:17,004
but I did not know
how to commence.
301
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,005
Really?
302
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:19,274
Oh?
303
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:22,443
I am not long in this country.
304
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:27,482
And I did not know what is,
how you say it, proper.
305
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,884
I see.
306
00:14:29,886 --> 00:14:32,153
I live by impulse.
307
00:14:32,155 --> 00:14:35,089
I see someone and I desire...
308
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,924
to talk to them,
309
00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:38,893
to know them.
310
00:14:38,895 --> 00:14:40,861
You understand?
311
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:42,096
I guess so.
312
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,565
Well, that could cause
problems sometimes.
313
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:49,870
Sometimes, but life
is for living, no?
314
00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:51,773
No. I mean, yes.
315
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:55,343
I just look at you,
and I know I like you.
316
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:57,044
How can you tell?
317
00:14:57,046 --> 00:15:01,449
Faces with character attract me.
318
00:15:05,722 --> 00:15:07,522
I would like to do your head.
319
00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,657
I beg your pardon?
320
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,393
I am sculptress.
321
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:15,930
Your head, it excites me.
322
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:21,235
Put the drinks down, Joe.
323
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:22,737
I love your face.
324
00:15:22,739 --> 00:15:25,005
It has strength...
325
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,943
individuality.
326
00:15:28,945 --> 00:15:30,945
Ah, it is a face...
327
00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:33,448
that has experienced...
328
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:36,250
love, sorrow...
329
00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:38,653
life.
330
00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:39,854
Yes?
331
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,723
I mean, yeah.
332
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,759
But mainly, it is a man's face.
333
00:15:44,761 --> 00:15:48,996
It is a face that exudes...
334
00:15:48,998 --> 00:15:51,899
how you say, sex appeal.
335
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:53,668
That's how we say it.
336
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:56,437
Put the drinks down, Joe.
337
00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:02,109
I am very direct person.
338
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,611
I am sorry.
339
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:05,012
I have embarrassed you?
340
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:06,814
Oh, no, no.
Not at all.
341
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:08,215
But you see, Miss...
342
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,316
Michelle.
343
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:12,219
Michelle,
you're new around here.
344
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,988
You probably don't know
too many people.
345
00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,490
You're probably lonely.
346
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:17,191
Oh, no, no.
I am not lonely.
347
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,727
I meet many men.
348
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,730
But how you say it?
349
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,932
Nothing.
350
00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:28,969
Yeah, it's very dull.
351
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:30,705
Who wants
just another pretty head?
352
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:33,908
I see.
353
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:39,380
My studio is quite near.
354
00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:43,418
We go and get to know
one another, yes?
355
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,820
The face is important, yes.
356
00:16:45,822 --> 00:16:48,222
But more important,
behind the face.
357
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,325
I'm very flattered,
but I'm afraid I can't.
358
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:54,261
You have wife, no?
359
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,064
Yes.
360
00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:58,533
But she does not understand you.
361
00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:01,569
Why do say that?
362
00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:05,473
You drink alone at bar.
363
00:17:05,475 --> 00:17:07,975
Well, she understands me
most of the time.
364
00:17:07,977 --> 00:17:11,145
There is no room
in your life for two women?
365
00:17:13,149 --> 00:17:14,449
Answer her, Darrin.
366
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,120
No.
367
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:26,527
Why are you smiling?
368
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:27,995
Oh.
369
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:32,132
C'est la vie.
370
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,401
I envy your wife.
371
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,273
Bonjour, Monsieur.
372
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:56,223
Boy, your wife must be
something really special.
373
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,561
She is, Joe.
374
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:02,864
She is.
375
00:18:14,944 --> 00:18:16,043
Abner.
376
00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:17,778
What is it now, Gladys?
377
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:21,315
There's a strange lady
driving the Stephens' car.
378
00:18:22,552 --> 00:18:25,119
She drove it into the garage.
379
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:26,453
When she comes out, you'll see.
380
00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:28,055
All right, I'll see.
381
00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:40,768
There she is!
382
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:43,839
Hi, Mrs. Kravitz.
383
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:50,011
Now she's at it!
384
00:18:50,013 --> 00:18:51,612
At what?
385
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:54,582
Changing herself.
386
00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,983
Abner, believe me,
387
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:57,317
there was a strange lady
388
00:18:57,319 --> 00:18:59,219
driving their car.
389
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,689
There's only one strange lady
around here, Gladys.
390
00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:08,930
By the smug look on your face,
391
00:19:08,932 --> 00:19:10,765
I take it
the mission was successful.
392
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,132
Worked like a charm.
393
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,768
He wasn't even tempted
by your offer?
394
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,369
Behaved beautifully.
395
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,039
He rejected me completely.
396
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,575
I wonder if I ought
to act a little jealous
when he tells me.
397
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,009
You really think he'll tell you
398
00:19:22,011 --> 00:19:24,411
about his little
encounter?
Of course.
399
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,981
We have no secrets.
Darrin tells me everything.
400
00:19:26,983 --> 00:19:27,983
Wanna bet?
401
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:39,627
What sort of a day
did you have, dear?
402
00:19:39,629 --> 00:19:41,862
Oh, average.
403
00:19:41,864 --> 00:19:43,464
This is very good.
404
00:19:43,466 --> 00:19:44,466
Thank you.
405
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:47,802
Anything unusual happen?
406
00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:50,004
You did something special
to the meat.
407
00:19:50,006 --> 00:19:53,474
I asked you if anything unusual
happened today.
408
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:54,476
No.
409
00:19:55,578 --> 00:19:56,577
Oh.
410
00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:59,146
Come to think of it,
411
00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:01,181
something unusual did happen.
412
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:03,684
I stopped in a bar
to have a drink.
413
00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:06,353
Yes?
414
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:08,188
This guy sat down next to me,
415
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,091
cold sober.
416
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:13,094
He took one sip of beer,
and he was stoned.
417
00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:16,196
Darnedest thing.
418
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,899
Anything else?
419
00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:20,567
No.
420
00:20:20,569 --> 00:20:22,169
Then I came home.
421
00:20:22,171 --> 00:20:23,691
May I have
some more water, please?
422
00:20:28,011 --> 00:20:29,409
Thank you, dear.
423
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,955
C'est la vie.
424
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,506
Ellen, could you come in
for a minute?
425
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,908
I have some letters to dictate.
426
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:01,910
Yes, sir.
427
00:21:04,613 --> 00:21:07,081
Mr. Stephens,
I'm Barbara Lucas.
428
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,983
I'll be filling in
for Ellen this afternoon.
429
00:21:08,985 --> 00:21:10,350
She went home at lunch.
430
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,451
Oh, is she sick?
431
00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:12,820
Oh, it's just a virus.
432
00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:13,854
Oh, that's funny.
433
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,122
She seemed fine this morning.
434
00:21:15,124 --> 00:21:17,357
Well, those things
can hit you just like that.
435
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,392
It's too bad.
436
00:21:18,394 --> 00:21:20,194
Well, you know
what the French say,
437
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,029
"C'est la vie."
438
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,800
MICHELLE:
C'est la vie. Michelle.C'est la vie.
439
00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:27,534
Something the matter,
Mr. Stephens?
440
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:33,340
Nothing I can't handle, Barbara.
441
00:21:33,342 --> 00:21:36,543
It is Barbara, isn't it?
442
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,312
Yes.
443
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,717
You... You ready?
444
00:21:50,426 --> 00:21:52,492
I'm just waiting for you
to get it off your chest.
445
00:21:52,494 --> 00:21:54,595
I beg your pardon?
446
00:21:54,597 --> 00:21:56,530
Go on, tell me.
447
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,032
Tell me how handsome I am.
448
00:21:58,034 --> 00:21:59,033
How virile.
449
00:21:59,035 --> 00:22:00,835
Build up my ego.
450
00:22:00,837 --> 00:22:03,104
At least tell me how sexy I am.
451
00:22:03,106 --> 00:22:05,106
I don't think I understand.
452
00:22:05,108 --> 00:22:07,108
That's what you came here for,
isn't it?
453
00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,910
Mr. Stephens, I just came in
to take dictation.
454
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,612
Sure, you did.
455
00:22:14,117 --> 00:22:15,649
Oh, hi, Sam.
Hi, Larry.
456
00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:16,851
Darrin's better today.
457
00:22:16,853 --> 00:22:18,919
I'm very pleased to hear it.
Is he in conference?
458
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,721
No, he's just breaking
in a new secretary.
459
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:22,022
Why don't you go in and see him.
460
00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:23,124
Thank you.
461
00:22:27,663 --> 00:22:29,196
What to do you want?
462
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,933
This.
463
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:35,803
[GASPS]
464
00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:36,805
Darrin!
465
00:22:38,674 --> 00:22:40,674
Sam!
466
00:22:40,676 --> 00:22:42,143
I-I thought she was you.
467
00:22:44,713 --> 00:22:46,680
I've heard of people like you.
468
00:22:46,682 --> 00:22:48,315
You don't understand.
469
00:22:48,317 --> 00:22:49,549
I thought you were my wife.
470
00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:52,219
Boy, I've heard some excuses
in my life,
471
00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:54,221
but that tops them all.
472
00:23:01,998 --> 00:23:03,597
Sam, I thought she was you.
473
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,766
Is that your only excuse?
474
00:23:05,768 --> 00:23:07,467
Isn't that enough?
475
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,502
You should understand.
476
00:23:08,504 --> 00:23:09,503
Darrin!
477
00:23:09,505 --> 00:23:10,537
Let me explain.
478
00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:12,039
No need to explain.
479
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,708
One picture is worth
10,000 words.
480
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:17,377
Sam, are you jealous?
481
00:23:17,379 --> 00:23:18,979
Well, what do you expect?
482
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:22,249
You really are jealous,
aren't you?
483
00:23:22,251 --> 00:23:24,952
How can you grin
at a time like this?
484
00:23:24,954 --> 00:23:27,922
I mean, you really are involved.
485
00:23:27,924 --> 00:23:29,824
Involved?
486
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,325
I'm married to you.
487
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:33,027
Yes, but you love me!
488
00:23:33,029 --> 00:23:34,461
Ohh!
489
00:23:36,265 --> 00:23:37,631
It's marvelous!
490
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:41,035
Darrin, you don't care?
491
00:23:41,037 --> 00:23:42,436
Oh...
492
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,776
How you say it?
493
00:23:49,778 --> 00:23:52,046
C'est la vie.
494
00:23:52,048 --> 00:23:53,580
You knew!
495
00:23:53,582 --> 00:23:56,750
Yes, I knew. And I also
thought you were Barbara.
496
00:23:56,752 --> 00:23:59,486
Why didn't you tell me
you knew I was Michelle?
497
00:23:59,488 --> 00:24:02,656
Because I thought
you were playing dirty pool.
498
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:04,158
Now, suppose
I'd risen to the bait.
499
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,393
I knew you wouldn't.
500
00:24:06,395 --> 00:24:08,729
You weren't so smug
a few minutes ago.
501
00:24:08,731 --> 00:24:10,164
Perfectly normal reaction
502
00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:11,565
for a wife
who loves her husband.
503
00:24:11,567 --> 00:24:14,001
Now, Sam, you're playing
a very dangerous game.
504
00:24:14,003 --> 00:24:15,035
Now, just supposing
505
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,271
that Barbara had responded
to my advances.
506
00:24:17,273 --> 00:24:19,473
Oh, darling, don't be silly.
507
00:24:19,475 --> 00:24:20,875
She wouldn't have done that.
508
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,109
Why not?
509
00:24:22,111 --> 00:24:23,710
Well, what would she want
510
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,672
with a funny-looking
guy like you?
511
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,993
[♪♪♪]
32951
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.