All language subtitles for Bewitched S01E22 Eye of the Beholder 1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3-Vertag_track3_[und]

[♪♪♪]

Yes, indeed.

This table is one of

our most treasured
17th-century pieces.

A steal at only $450.

Yes, it would be a steal,
wouldn't it?

Are you sure it isn't
18th century, Mr. Bodkin?

Well, perhaps
early 18th century.

Excuse me, please.
Certainly.

Perhaps something like
this rocker might interest you.

Oh, it is very quaint.

It is. It's Flemish.

Pennsylvania Dutch.

We were quite thrilled
when we discovered this

in the attic of an old cottage
in Belgium.

Philadelphia.

Madam.

If you please!

Excuse me.

You know... You know, Samantha,

they don't make these things

like they used to.

I must say, coming to these
places is quite stimulating.

They hold such happy memories.

I remember the time

your father and I
were in Istanbul and you...

Samantha,
are you listening to me?

Yes, of course, Mother.

Well, you share
in these memories too, you know.

I know.

But now I am more interested

in the present
and the future with Darrin.

I won't have you ignore
your heritage.

I'm not ignoring it.

I'm merely putting it
in its proper place.

I am your mother,

and I shall decide
its proper place.

Now you have to understand.

Now that I'm married,

things cannot be the way
they were with us.

[GASPS]
So it's come to that.

You forsake your mother
for a mere mortal.

Oh, Mother, we've been
all over that.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Is that you?

Uh, yes, honey.

Oh, hi.
You're home early.

I thought I'd do
a little work in the garden.

I was just having some iced tea.

Do you want some?

Yes.

Here you go.

Ooh. Thank you,
sweetheart.

Uh, Sam, let's go
in here for a minute.

Here, sit down, sweetheart.

Yeah, right there.

[SIGHS]

Did you wanna talk
to me about something?

Yes. Your birthday.

My birthday?

Well, why do you wanna
talk to me about that for?

It's a perfectly normal thing

for a man to want to know
about his wife.

You know when it is.
I know.

But when is it?
It's in June.

June what?
The sixth.

That's kind of a nice day
for a birthday.

June sixth... what?

What do you mean?

I mean, how old are you?

How old do I look?

Come on, Sam.
I'm serious.

I know you are, darling.

Why don't I fix dinner.
You must be starving.

At 4:00 in the afternoon?

Look, Sam, I know
women don't like

to talk about their birthdays,

but can't you just
tell me approximately?

Twenty-two?

Older.

Twenty-four?

Darrin, I don't think
we should continue

this conversation.

You know, Sam,

you don't look a day older

than the day we met.

If anything, you look younger.

Thank you, darling.
That's sweet of you to say so.

I didn't mean it
as a compliment.

How do I know you are any older?

Are you?

Well, yes.
A little older.

After all, we met a year ago.

What are you going
to look like when I'm 75?

Well, I don't know, Darrin.
How should...?

You're going to look
just the way
you are now, aren't you?

Well...

You're going to help me
up and down the stairs

and bring me warm milk
when I go to bed.

Darrin, I know you don't like
warm milk.

How do you know
what I'll like when I'm 75?

I'm going to change.

How do I know
you'll feel the same toward me?

Well, of course
I'll feel the same toward you.

Sure, you can say that now,

but wait 40 or 50 years.

I'll be bald.
I won't have any teeth and...

Sam, what'll people think
when they see us together?

They'll think you've got
the youngest wife on the block.

Isn't that marvelous?

[SIGHS]

Where are you going?

I'm going to do some gardening.

Well, spatting again, were you?

No, Mother.

It's just that he's finally
asked me that question.

And what question is that, dear?

He asked to know my age.

Oh!

Well, now
that he suspects the truth,

what are you going
to do about it?

I don't know.

Well, just remember, dear.

With us, aging is a process
requiring centuries.

With humans,

it occurs practically overnight.

Their bodies
are just not equipped

to handle such...

rapid transformation.

Just wait until you see it
happen to Darius.

See what happen?

Senility,

feebleness.

Mother, if there's one thing
I know about Darrin,

it's that he's strong
and is in perfectly good health.

[CHUCKLES]

You'll see.

[WHISTLING]

GIRL:
Hi, Mr. Stephens.

Oh, hi, Kimmie.

What's the matter?

Probably got too much of a load.

I'll get a box from the garage,

take some of them out.

Mr. Stephens!

Yes, Kimmie?

Where did you want it?

Uh, right there will be fine.

[WHIMPERS]

That'll be, uh, just fine.

Huh, you're kind of strong
for a little girl, aren't you?

'Bout normal, I guess.

Bye.

Goodbye, Kimmie.

Uh, thanks.

[CACKLES]

[YELLS]

Darrin, what happened?

That kid hit me.
Got me a pretty good shot too.

It's just a little newspaper.

But it had a lot of velocity.

Besides, he could
have hit me in...

my bad leg.

Bad leg?

I hurt it playing football.

It's been acting up lately.

Probably just...

a little touch of rheumatism.

Darrin, I've always thought
of you as the picture of health.

On the surface, yes,
but... Well, inside...

Underneath...

That was Louise Tate
on the phone.

She asked us over for bridge.

Are you going to bed already?

Well, I've gotta get my rest.

I haven't been feeling
too well lately.

Yes, I'm beginning
to notice that.

Might not be anything
serious at all.

Then again...

Darrin, don't you think
you're carrying this thing

a little bit too far?

That's very easy for you to say.

You don't know what it's like
to get a little older,

and the old body doesn't
stand up the way it used to.

Uh, warm milk.

Good night, Sam.
Um...

Uh, good night, darling.

Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.

Good morning, Eddy.
Where are you off to?

I thought I'd deliver
these sketches for you.

You needn't bother.
I was going to do that.

Don't you think you ought
to let the young blood

take care of this
sort of thing, Mr. Stephens?

You have more
important things to do.

Maybe you're right, Eddy.

Hi, Larry.

Well, good morning, Darrin.

Good morning, Larry.

You know, old friend,
you're not looking well.

Larry, I wish you wouldn't
call me that.
Call you what?

Mr. Tate, Miss Crampton
from the model agency is here.

Oh, uh, th-thank you.

Tell her I'll be with her
in a few minutes.

Oh, oh, oh, don't shut
the door, Miss Blanding.

It's getting a bit stuffy
in here this morning.

Uh, yes, sir.

Larry, how do you feel
about younger women?

I think they're just fine.

I'll do better than that.
I'll say they're great!

Is Louise younger than you?

[SIGHS]

I don't know.

She says she is.

I think Louise
is a fine woman, Larry.

I don't think you should
go around tearing her down.

Well, who's tearing her down?

Probably just because
she's beginning to look

a little older.
That's it, isn't it?
Well,

Louise is no spring
chicken, that's true.

But it doesn't mean...

A woman as old as Louise
should look her age.

It's dignified.

Wait a minute.
She's not all that old.

I think we'd all be hypocrites

if we didn't admit
we preferred younger women.

Then you approve of a marriage

between an older man
and a younger woman?

Why, yes.
I mean, it all depends.

Darrin, what on earth
are you getting at?

Suppose he was really older.

How much older?

Oh, say, uh, 50 years.

A marriage between

a 75-year-old man
and a 25-year-old woman.

Darrin,
that strikes me as indecent.

That's the way
it strikes me too.

Darrin, what's bothering you?

I'm afraid you just wouldn't
understand, Larry.

Well...

if you feel that way about it.

[♪♪♪]

I'm glad you came to me
about this, Darrin.

I mean, that's what
friends are for,

to confide in each other.

Well, what is it this time?

You see, Dave, it's like this...

They say the first six months

are the roughest
in any marriage.

I think Samantha's
older than I am.

And the period of adjustment,

during which the man
and woman have to kind of

get to know each other
and understand each other.

A lot older.

Little faults, little habits.

Maybe two or three
hundred years older.

Their likes, their dislikes...

Like if one prefers scotch.

Of course, there might
be some advantages

being married to an older woman,

like if you had trouble
remembering historical dates.

But once over the hurdle,

once true love
has withstood the test,

smooth sailing.

Like the revolutionary war.

You could just
go to her and ask.

Oh, I got an appointment.

Thanks, Dave.

Any time, old boy.
Any time.

"Old boy."

I didn't come here
about myself, doc.

It's Samantha.
I need some advice.

I didn't know
who else to turn to.

Well, I'm flattered, Darrin,
that you should come to me.

What is it?
Isn't Samantha feeling well?

That's just it.
She's abnormally well...

for a woman who might be
several centuries old.

On second thought,
I think I'd better examine you.

Take off your shirt.

[LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Pete, what do you do
when you find out

your wife is a witch,
a very old witch?

You do just like I done, pal.

I mean, you just gotta learn
to live with it.

[CHILDREN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[TWITTERING]

HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:
How do you know what
I'll like when I'm 75?

I'm going to change.

How do I know you'll
feel the same toward me?

Of course I'll feel
the same toward you.

Sure, you can say that now.
Wait 40 or 50 years.

I'll be bald.
I won't have teeth.

Sam, what'll people think
when they see us together?

They'll think you've got
the youngest wife on the block.
Isn't that marvelous?

Uh, wait! Please don't go!

Uh, I was talking
to the squirrels.

Up in the tree here...

[CACKLING]

[♪♪♪]

Quadramus, invecta, expedia.

You wanted to see me, dear?

Yes, Mother.

Where have you been?

Oh, I was out supplying
two dear little squirrels

with a nest full of nuts.

You seen this before?

I can't say that I have,

but it is quite
a remarkable likeness.

Yes, isn't it?
Mother, this is your doing.

Surely you wouldn't think...

You needn't deny it.
I recognize your touch.

Well...

it was just a little game.

Innocent, harmless.

No, it wasn't harmless.

You've filled Darrin's head
with all sorts
of doubts and suspicions.

He'll have to know eventually.

I'm doing it for your own good.

Later on, it would be
more difficult.

All right, Mother.

I'm going to tell him the truth.

Oh, how touching!

But then, when you consider
how self-centered they are

and selfish...

Well, he'd never adjust to it,

to growing old
and you staying young.

I'm going to tell him.

Oh, splendid.

Mother will be waiting.

[CACKLES]

[♪♪♪]

That car's been parked
in that two-hour zone

all afternoon.

Maybe we better check it out.

Car 63.

I need a make
on a 1965 convertible,

license number 4R6558.

Well.
[RINGING]

Hello?

Hello, Samantha.
This is Larry Tate.

Oh, hi, Larry.

Uh, may I speak to Darrin?

No, he hasn't come home yet.

Strange. He never came back
to the office after lunch today.

Where do you suppose
he could be?

Now, I'm sure
there's nothing to worry about.

Have you checked the hospitals?

Hospitals?

Larry, you don't think anything
could have happened to him?

No, no. No.

It's just that a hospital

is the first place you check
when someone's... missing.

Oh, I'm sure he's just out
shopping or something.

Samantha,
you know I'm not in the habit

of going around prying into
other people's private lives.

Of course you aren't, Larry.

Whose private lives?

I was just wondering.

Is everything all right
with you and Darrin?

Oh, yes, of course.

Why do you ask that?

Well, it's just
that Darrin was acting

very peculiar this morning,
like he'd lost his best friend.

Not only that.

He's got some cockamamie notion

that he's Methuselah
or something.

Well, he didn't sleep
very well last night.

I think he's just tired.

I'll have him call you
when he comes home.

Bye.

[RINGS]

Hello?

Uh, Mrs. Stephens?

Yes?

Is your husband at home?

Who is this?

Officer Kern.
Police department.

Police? What is it?
Why do you want my husband?

Just a routine check,
Mrs. Stephens.

His car has been sitting
in a two-hour parking zone

at the Westbridge Avenue Park
all afternoon.

The Westbridge Avenue Park?

Yes, ma'am.

Uh, Mrs. Stephens,

if you'd like us to have
a look around for him, why...

Yes. Yes, I would.
Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Do you remember, Henry,
the first time we came here?

We'd just been married.

Seems like yesterday.

Yes. And you know, Henry,

you haven't changed a particle
in all these years.

And you're still
my bride, Agatha.

Thank you, Henry.

Darrin, I've been
worried about you.

I'm sorry, Sam.
I meant to call you.

I just don't know
where the time went.

How'd you know where I was?

Policemen phoned.
They found your car.

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to be
some place where
I could be alone,

think things out.

I found the picture
in the closet.

Darrin... No, Sam.

There's something
I have to tell you.

I've been doing
a lot of thinking.

It wasn't easy,
but I've come to a decision.

I love you,

and that's all that matters.

Do you really mean that?

When two people love each other,

the only thing that's important

is to be together.

Young or old,
you'll always be
the same to me.

Oh, Darrin, I love you so much.

Besides, what's wrong
with people thinking

I have the youngest wife
on the block?

[LAUGHS]

Ahem.

Excuse me,
is your name Stephens?

Yes.

Mr. Darrin Stephens?

Why, yes.

Look, pal.

Why don't you go home
to your wife.

This is my wife.

I talked to your wife
on the telephone

not two minutes ago,
all the way across town.

I suppose you're gonna
try to tell us next

she flew here or something.

Well, I, uh... You see...

Why don't you just drop
the little lady off

and go on home, huh.

Anything you say, officer.

Can you beat a guy
like that, O'Hanlon?

Probably got a nice
little wife at home too.

True. True.

True.

DARRIN: The other things
wouldn't have been so bad

if it hadn't been
for the squirrels.

The squirrels?

You won't believe this,
but I actually thought

I heard them talking
to each other.

Oh, well.

Mother!

Did you say something, honey?

Nothing, darling.
Mm.

[ENDORA LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]