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1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,471
Ouch!
2
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,580
[CRASH]
3
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,385
Aunt Clara!
4
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:22,988
[COUGHS, MUMBLES]
5
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:27,926
Oh, Endora was right.
I should have traveled by bus.
6
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,294
Oh, are you all right?
7
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,496
You know, I think
I've been putting on weight.
8
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,498
I used to come down
through a chimney
9
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,967
as clean as a whistle.
10
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,269
Come on over here and sit down.
11
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,806
Over here. All right?
12
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,107
Oh. Oh, yes.
13
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:45,143
Oh, it's so nice
to see you again.
14
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,345
Oh, and it's nice
to see you too, dear.
15
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,348
Oh, well, we'll have
a lovely weekend together.
16
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,084
A weekend?
17
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,820
Doorknobs are all very well,
but they're not family.
18
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:55,854
Aunt Clara...
19
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,523
I count them when I'm lonely.
20
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,158
But somehow, you know,
21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,994
today they didn't seem
to do the trick.
22
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:06,131
And then I remembered the lovely
invitation you gave me,
23
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:08,200
to come here
whenever I wanted to.
24
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,701
I see.
25
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,037
Now, where's that nice mortal
you're married to?
26
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,139
Darrin went
to pick up his parents.
27
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,841
They're spending
the weekend too.
28
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:20,946
Oh? Oh, I've picked
a bad time for a visit.
29
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,948
Uh, oh, well.
30
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,450
Never mind.
I'll leave before they arrive.
31
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,018
No, you won't.
32
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,254
Now, I haven't
met Darrin's parents.
33
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:33,125
Be kind of nice to have you
around for moral support.
34
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,026
Besides, we have plenty of room.
35
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,863
Now, are you sure
I won't be in the way?
36
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,197
Of course not.
37
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,432
And I'd like them
to meet my favorite aunt.
38
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,534
Oh, you are a nice girl.
39
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:45,570
Now, why don't I show you
to your room.
40
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,240
And you can
get cleaned up and rest
41
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,242
before you have to meet
Darrin and his parents.
42
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:53,344
No, I think I'll wait
for my bag and umbrella.
43
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,781
They weren't ready and packed
when I wanted to go,
44
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,116
so I just left them there.
45
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,317
Teach them a lesson.
46
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,826
[♪♪♪]
47
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,675
[SIGHS]
I can't wait to see him.
48
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,245
Oh, I hope she hasn't
let him lose weight.
49
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,913
He can't afford to lose weight.
50
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,282
Oh, he's probably in the last
stages of malnutrition.
51
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,451
Oh, now, you know
that isn't what I meant.
52
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,552
Oh, there he is!
53
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,155
Oh, Darrin! Oh, Darrin!
54
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,689
[DARRIN LAUGHS]
55
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,724
Aw!
56
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,526
Uh-oh.
Here come the waterworks.
57
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,529
Three months away and it's like
he's back from the grave.
58
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,933
Well, it's too long for a son
to be away from his mother,
59
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,568
much too long.
60
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,536
Marriage obviously
agrees with you, boy.
61
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,305
I've never seen you look better.
62
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,874
Have you, Phyllis?
63
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,042
Oh, he looks terrible.
64
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,212
How can you say he looks well?
He looks terrible.
65
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,082
Have you been eating
the right foods, Darrin?
66
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,084
Oh, I feel great, Mom. Honestly.
67
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,551
Never mind.
68
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,988
I'll fatten you up
with some good home cooking
69
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,356
in a couple of days.
70
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,124
Meet my wife, the diplomat.
71
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,126
Now what did I say wrong?
72
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,527
There's our luggage.
73
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,264
Sam's a pretty good
cook too, Mom.
74
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:53,498
Sam?
75
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,699
Samantha.
76
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,236
Oh, Samantha!
Oh, I'm sure she is, dear.
77
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,504
And you know
78
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,940
I'd cut off my right arm
rather than interfere.
79
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,609
I just thought I'd give her
a few tips, though.
80
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:07,045
Can she make chicken cacciatore?
81
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:11,082
No, Mom. No one can make chicken
cacciatore the way you can.
82
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,618
Oh, it's nice
that there's something
83
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,387
you need your mother for!
84
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,721
Well, let's go.
85
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,057
I'm anxious to meet this bride
of yours, Darrin.
86
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,092
I'll bet she's something
really special.
87
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,360
Pop, you win your bet.
88
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,364
[KNOCKING]
89
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,602
Oh. Oh, there you are.
90
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,338
I told you
I wouldn't wait for you.
91
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,975
Well, don't stand there
like that.
92
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,510
Come in, come in, come in.
93
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,886
Now, your room
is the second on the left.
94
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,355
I'll check dinner
and be right up.
95
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,423
[SNIFFS]
96
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,890
Oh, it smells good!
97
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,392
Pot roast.
98
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:57,062
I wanted to serve
something more exotic,
99
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,997
but I thought
I ought to stay on safe ground.
100
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,165
Exotic?
101
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,266
Yes, you know.
102
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,368
Beef stroganoff, coq au vin.
103
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,903
Something that would really
impress Darrin's mother.
104
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,939
Oh. Now, don't you worry, dear.
105
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,175
I just know they're
going to love you.
106
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,243
How can you be so sure?
107
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,279
I'm a witch.
108
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,114
[CHUCKLES]
109
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,115
Ha!
110
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,616
[SMACKS LIPS]
111
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,296
I can't tell you
how excited I was
112
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,198
when we heard
that Darrin was married.
113
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,333
Fainted four times. Four.
114
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,735
Oh, he's exaggerating as usual.
115
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,238
Oh, I will admit
that I was surprised,
116
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,906
but I'm not one of those mothers
117
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,542
who want to keep their children
tied to their apron strings.
118
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,645
Then why is everything
in Darrin's room bronzed?
119
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,281
Why, there's nothing wrong
with being sentimental.
120
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,849
I think it's rather nice.
121
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,385
His tennis racket?
122
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,120
[LAUGHS]
123
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,955
Now, why don't you two men
leave us alone
124
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,492
so that I can get acquainted
with my daughter-in-law.
125
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,394
Come on, Pop.
I'll show you your room.
126
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,896
Right.
127
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,699
You treat her well now,
Phyllis. I like this girl.
128
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,203
Now we can talk.
129
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,040
I just wanted you to know
that you don't have to worry
130
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,675
about me being one of those
interfering mother-in-laws.
131
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,945
Why... Why, I'd cut off
my right arm first.
132
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,514
Well, I wouldn't want
you to do that.
133
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,215
Of course, if you...
134
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,452
If you do need any help,
I'm always available.
135
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,020
That's nice to know.
136
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,424
Well, I do know a little more
about Darrin's habits than you.
137
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,492
So if there's anything
you want to know,
138
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,726
anything at all,
139
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,328
feel free to ask.
140
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,432
Uh, Darrin tells me
you're a good cook.
141
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,800
Well, I'm still learning.
142
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,436
Oh, good.
143
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,337
Uh, that is,
maybe I could give you
144
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,806
the recipes for some of
his very favorite dishes.
145
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:52,143
Do you know how to make
pineapple upside-down cake?
146
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,911
No, I don't.
147
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,448
Then there are his hives.
148
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,349
Well, I don't know
how to make those either.
149
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,419
Uh, no. No, dear.
150
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,888
That's an allergy.
It's a rash he gets.
151
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,890
I'll show you how to treat it.
152
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,193
Oh, I've cured that!
153
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,096
You cured his rash?
154
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,497
Oh, yes.
155
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,733
We found out he only got it
when he ate chicken cacciatore.
156
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,736
Oh, I see.
157
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,745
My, this is a...
This is a lovely room.
158
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:32,450
Did you, um...
Did you have a decorator?
159
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,285
No, I did it myself.
160
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,455
Well, it's absolutely lovely.
161
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,291
I'll bet you can't wait
to get it finished.
162
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,826
Finished?
163
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:45,630
Oh, really, all it needs is
a few knickknacks to warm it up.
164
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,000
Darrin is used to that.
He always had them at home.
165
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,336
Oh, I've got more than enough.
166
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,837
I'll send you some
when I get back.
167
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,939
Oh, why, thank you.
168
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,841
[MEN CHUCKLING]
169
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,144
Oh, uh, Darrin,
I was just telling Samantha
170
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,678
how lovely the room looks.
171
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,514
Oh, yes, it does have
a nice, clean look.
172
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,756
I hate a room that's all
cluttered up with ornaments.
173
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,256
You know, we really don't know
very much about you, Samantha.
174
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,492
What did you do
before you married Darrin?
175
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,662
Well, I traveled a lot.
176
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,863
With your family?
177
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,365
Sometimes.
178
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,333
Do you get to see much
of your mother?
179
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,602
Oh, she pops in and out.
180
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,904
And what about
the rest of your...
181
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,740
fami...
182
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,878
Oh! Hello, Aunt Clara.
183
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,315
Oh. Hello, everybody.
184
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,519
Come on. I want you
to meet everybody.
185
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,554
Oh.
186
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,588
Aunt Clara,
187
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,089
this is Mrs. Stephens
188
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,357
and Mr. Stephens.
189
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,592
How do you do?
190
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,727
And that is Darrin.
191
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,795
Oh!
192
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,530
Uh, this is
an unexpected pleasure.
193
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,732
You haven't met Darrin before?
194
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:58,369
Oh, well, I've met him,
but he hasn't met me.
195
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,539
Uh, in the flesh, I mean.
196
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,409
So to speak.
197
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,644
Aunt Clara's going to spend
the weekend with us too.
198
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:07,845
DARRIN:
She is?
199
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,281
I-I-I mean, she is?
200
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,716
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:16,020
Uh, wouldn't you like to see
my doorknob collection?
202
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:20,558
Why, yes, I... I beg your pardon?
203
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,094
Aunt Clara collects doorknobs.
204
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,295
I have 3000.
205
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,364
Where'd you get them all?
206
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,665
AUNT CLARA:
I don't remember,
207
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,300
but there are a lot of people
208
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:33,338
having a heck of a time
trying to open their doors.
209
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,244
Uh, Samantha, could I speak
to you for a minute?
210
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,411
When?
211
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,412
Now.
212
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,614
Uh, yes.
213
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:43,981
Excuse me.
214
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,185
Maybe this would be
215
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,121
a nice chance for us
to have a little chat.
216
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,188
Oh, yes.
217
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,790
[CHUCKLES]
218
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,493
Darling, I was just
as surprised as you were.
219
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,129
I turned around, and there she
was, sitting in the fireplace.
220
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,964
She came down the chimney?
221
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:03,033
Oh, well, darling, you can't
blame someone for being old.
222
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:04,435
She used to
come through the wall
223
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,903
just the same as everybody else.
224
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,037
Oh, great!
225
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:08,172
She's really very sweet.
226
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,907
I'm sure she is, darling.
227
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,876
And I'd love to have her here
any other time,
228
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,043
but not this weekend.
229
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,646
My parents
are plain, simple folks...
230
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:15,813
Darrin, Darrin.
231
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,915
Darling, I can't
ask her to leave.
232
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,484
I couldn't bear to see her hurt.
233
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,085
You can understand that,
can't you?
234
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,119
[SIGHS]
235
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,454
I suppose so, honey.
236
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,022
I know it's inconvenient.
237
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,692
But I'm sure your parents
will understand.
238
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:31,262
Besides, what possible harm
could she do?
239
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:35,266
Yes, I'm a witch.
All my family are.
240
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:38,469
Sort of a family thing that's
been handed down, you know.
241
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,137
Yes.
242
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,740
Uh, but the witch game
is not like it used to be.
243
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,409
Oh, no.
244
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,976
Now, there was a time
245
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,614
when you could cast a spell
on someone and they knew it.
246
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,015
Not now.
247
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,784
No, not now.
248
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,019
Oh, well, now take the Yankees.
249
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,754
Oh, the Yankees?
250
00:10:56,756 --> 00:11:00,658
Well, they lost two World
Series in a row, didn't they?
251
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,562
They did. Uh, you put
a spell on them, huh?
252
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,698
Well, Bertha and me, yes.
253
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,199
Bertha and you!
254
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,302
[AUNT CLARA LAUGHS]
255
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:15,873
Oh, well, I'm...
I-I'm so glad you don't mind.
256
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:16,907
Mind?
257
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,544
About Samantha being one.
258
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,214
Oh, Samantha's a witch too, huh?
259
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,015
Uh, yes, yes.
260
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:30,287
But she's trying to get away
from it. It bothers Darrin.
261
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,660
[CLEARS THROAT]
262
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,528
Well, I, uh...
263
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,798
I think I'll go
for a little... fresh air,
264
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:41,966
if you don't mind.
265
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,771
Shan't be long.
266
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:47,805
[GASPS]
267
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,741
[THUD]
268
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,412
I used to go through a wall,
"Whoo!" Just like butter.
269
00:11:56,215 --> 00:12:00,485
I think I'll try the front door.
270
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:02,887
[SIGHS]
271
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:03,921
[THUD]
272
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,556
She's kind of cute, isn't she?
273
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,637
FRANK:
What about your sister Madge?
274
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,673
PHYLLIS: That's not
the same thing at all.
275
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,441
Madge has a quirk, that's all.
276
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,444
FRANK: Quirk?
She thinks she's a lighthouse!
277
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,113
You call standing
on the garage roof when it rains
278
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,414
to warn ships at sea
279
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,749
a quirk?
280
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,818
PHYLLIS: That woman
believes she's a witch.
281
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,720
Now, you can't tell me
that's normal.
282
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:38,322
FRANK: Oh, well, Darrin
isn't married to Clara.
283
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,758
And I think Samantha's
a perfect wife.
284
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,193
PHYLLIS:
Perfect?
285
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,963
She can't even make
a pineapple upside-down cake.
286
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:48,232
What kind of a family has
poor Darrin married into?
287
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,467
FRANK:
Oh, for...
288
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,669
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
289
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,005
Oh, Darrin, you think
everything's going all right?
290
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,807
I don't know what
you're so worried about.
291
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,141
Pop thinks you're great.
292
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,077
Yes, but what about your mother?
293
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:02,346
I'm sure she likes you too.
Obviously the flight upset her.
294
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,948
She's just not herself,
that's all.
295
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,751
I don't know.
I just don't know.
296
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,587
I have a funny feeling
there's something out of whack.
297
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,555
The only thing out of whack
is your Aunt Clara.
298
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,993
Well, at least you know
where you stand with her.
299
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,794
Well, has Mom said anything?
300
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:20,397
Oh, no. Of course not.
I know she's trying to be nice.
301
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,600
I've done everything I can
to please her.
302
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:26,470
I just don't know. I have
a funny feeling, that's all.
303
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,839
There's something wrong.
304
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,440
Hello, dears.
305
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,808
Everything all right?
306
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,644
Yes, everything's ready.
307
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,078
Just keep your fingers crossed.
308
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,347
Oh, I don't believe
in superstition.
309
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,884
I just know that everything's
going to be perfect.
310
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,453
Oh, dear.
311
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,555
I better go empty the ashtrays
in the living room.
312
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,557
Oh, Sam...
313
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,969
Now, Clara, Clara,
don't goof this up.
314
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:01,305
Now, coq au vin.
315
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,149
[CACKLES]
316
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,152
[GROANS, MUTTERS]
317
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,486
[CACKLES]
318
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,723
Go away, chicken.
Go away, chicken.
319
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,958
Go away, little chicken.
320
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,736
Oh! Now, that's better.
321
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:35,873
Oh. Now...
Now for dessert.
322
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,110
Pineapple upside-down cake.
323
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:43,014
It'd be just my luck
if it came up right-side up.
324
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,826
Oh! I'm on a winning streak!
325
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,194
Please sit down,
Mr. Stephens.
326
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,294
Oh, fine. Sure.
327
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,797
Aunt Clara,
make yourself comfortable.
328
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,499
Ah! Hey, that smells great!
What is it?
329
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,035
Pot roast.
330
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:07,138
I would like to have served you
something, well, more exciting,
331
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,173
but cooking really
isn't one of my...
332
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,344
That's coq au vin!
333
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,746
DARRIN:
Samantha.
334
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,248
Yeah, that's what it is,
all right.
335
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,050
Oh, it looks delicious!
336
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,085
I thought you said
you couldn't cook.
337
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:25,123
FRANK: Quite a sense of humor
this girl of yours has, Darrin.
338
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,391
Yeah, she keeps me
laughing all day.
339
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,060
[GIGGLES]
340
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,228
[LAUGHS FORCEDLY]
341
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,096
How'd you know
it was my favorite dish?
342
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,598
Oh, does Mrs. Stephens
cook it for you?
343
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,735
Cook it?
She can't even pronounce it.
344
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,470
You're a great cook.
345
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,473
Oh, you wait until you see
346
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,308
the dessert
she's whipped up for you.
347
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,743
What is it, Samantha?
348
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,712
Maybe it should be a surprise.
349
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:51,015
AUNT CLARA:
Pineapple upside-down cake.
350
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:56,587
Well, Phyllis, I guess
you can stop worrying now, huh?
351
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,890
Our boy couldn't be
in better hands.
352
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,893
What's the matter?
353
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:06,164
I have a sick headache.
354
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,765
You've been at it again,
haven't you?
355
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,333
Shh! They'll hear you.
356
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,068
[WHISPERS]
Zap, coq au vin.
357
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:13,470
Wham, pineapple
upside-down cake.
358
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,372
I didn't make that food.
359
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,241
You promised me no witchcraft.
360
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,844
You said you were just going
to be yourself, but...
361
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:22,180
You didn't?
362
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,414
Well, who did?
363
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,117
I would say your prime suspect
is Aunt Clara.
364
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,752
Unless, of course,
your mother's holding out on us.
365
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:29,821
What?
366
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,622
She isn't a witch too, is she?
367
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,958
Let's leave my mother
out of this, huh?
368
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,592
No matter what you say, Darrin,
369
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,562
it was a delicious meal,
and she hardly ate a mouthful.
370
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,764
Now, what can I do
to get her to like me?
371
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,034
Sam, let's just solve
one problem at a time, huh?
372
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,602
I think I'll have a little talk
with Aunt Clara after dinner.
373
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:46,871
Now, Darrin,
374
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:50,007
if you hurt her feelings,
I'll never forgive you.
375
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,043
She was only trying to help.
376
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,978
Well, I'll just ask her
to stop helping.
377
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,612
Be tactful.
378
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,014
Don't worry.
379
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,316
I'll tactfully tell her
380
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,552
that the position of house witch
is already filled.
381
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,653
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
382
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,255
Hmm? Come in.
383
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,192
Oh.
384
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,861
Am I disturbing anything,
Aunt Clara?
385
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,762
Oh, not at all, not at all.
386
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:15,166
No, I'm just polishing
my doorknobs.
387
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,703
That must be quite a job,
keeping those clean.
388
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,172
[CHUCKLES]
389
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,474
Well, it keeps me
out of the pool halls.
390
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,244
[CHUCKLES]
391
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,312
That was quite a dinner
you whipped up.
392
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,082
Oh, I still know a trick or two.
393
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:35,119
Well, that's what I wanted to
talk to you about, Aunt Clara.
394
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,420
You see, my mother and father,
395
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:41,692
they aren't...
used to, um... witchcraft.
396
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,327
You see that?
397
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,897
Now, to a doorknob collector,
398
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,900
that's equivalent
to the Hope Diamond.
399
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,337
It's not that we don't
appreciate your trying to help.
400
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,273
Such a nice sparkle.
401
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,310
I wouldn't even have
brought it up at all,
402
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,711
except that...
403
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:05,249
Well, my mother and father
just don't understand.
404
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,286
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Aunt Clara?
405
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,956
Oh, it's nice of you to look
at my doorknob collection.
406
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:15,692
Not many young people care about
that sort of thing nowadays.
407
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:36,180
Come on, bag. We must go.
408
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,650
Did you talk to Aunt Clara?
409
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:40,717
Uh-huh.
410
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,119
You didn't upset her, did you?
411
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,055
Well, she didn't seem
to be upset.
412
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,023
Did she understand?
413
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,092
I don't know. It's hard
to tell with Aunt Clara.
414
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,194
I think I'd better go up
and see her.
415
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,964
I thought I'd give you
a hand with the... dish...
416
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,632
Oh. Oh, you've already
done them.
417
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,834
[SIGHS]
418
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,402
Isn't there anything I can do?
419
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,770
DARRIN:
Nothing at all, Mom.
420
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,005
Sam's done it all.
421
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,841
Oh, you should get
422
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,210
the Good Housekeeping
Seal of Approval, Samantha.
423
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:09,146
Thank you.
I-I'll be right back.
424
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,484
Darrin, are you happy?
425
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,454
What? Of course, Mom.
426
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,390
Now, if there's anything
you want to tell me about,
427
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,824
I'm always here.
428
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,826
I've never been happier
in my life.
429
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,330
Any problem at all, no matter
how large or how small.
430
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,731
Just because you're married
431
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,833
doesn't mean you still
can't come to your mother.
432
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,336
Mom, I don't have any problems.
433
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,472
Well, that's all right.
434
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,808
If you don't want to tell me
about it, that's fine with me.
435
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,276
You know I'd cut off
my right arm...
436
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,978
Phyllis, will you
leave the boy alone?
437
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,048
Now, hasn't a mother the right
to ask if her son is happy?
438
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,483
Well, who wouldn't be happy,
439
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,284
married to
a dream like Samantha?
440
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:49,286
Oh, she's a lovely girl,
all right.
441
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,655
Well, then why have you been
trying to find fault with her
442
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:52,756
ever since we arrived?
443
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,924
That's not true!
444
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,259
I mean, what do you want?
445
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:57,694
She's beautiful, she's talented,
446
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,997
she's even-tempered
and she's a great cook.
447
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,198
I agree.
448
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,000
[SHOUTS]
Well, then there's no argument!
449
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,468
There's no argument!
All right!
450
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,038
If there's no argument, why are
you two yelling at each other?
451
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,239
What did you do to Aunt Clara?
452
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,740
I didn't do anything
to Aunt Clara.
453
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,509
You must have said
something insulting.
454
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,010
Otherwise
she wouldn't have left.
455
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,412
Sam, do we...?
456
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,680
Darrin, you promised you'd be
tactful. You promised!
457
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,749
Do we have to discuss this
in front of Mom and Dad?
458
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,351
Yes, we do.
459
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,719
Now, Aunt Clara's a guest
in this house too.
460
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,256
You may not like it,
but she's my family.
461
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,625
Really, Samantha. There's no
need to take it out on Darrin...
462
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:29,826
Shut up, Phyllis.
463
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:32,696
I told you,
it's not my fault she left.
464
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:33,964
Oh, yes, it is.
465
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,332
If you hadn't been so annoyed
466
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,900
because Aunt Clara
made the dinner,
467
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,569
none of this
ever would have happened.
468
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,204
She cooked dinner?
469
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,572
Yes, she did.
470
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,640
You may as well
know it right now.
471
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,042
I'm not a very good cook.
472
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,710
You're not?
473
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,612
No, I'm not.
474
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:52,249
I can't make coq au vin
or pineapple upside-down cake
475
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,817
or any of those fancy dishes.
476
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,018
DARRIN:
Samantha...
477
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,620
It's no use, Darrin.
478
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,590
I cannot pretend
to be something I'm not.
479
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,059
And I won't stand here
and see Aunt Clara hurt.
480
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,327
I don't blame you.
481
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,929
What did you say
to that nice old lady?
482
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,531
I didn't say any... You be quiet.
483
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,601
Go on, dear.
484
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,304
Well, that's just about it.
485
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:16,474
I wanted you to think that I was
the perfect wife for Darrin
486
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,875
and Aunt Clara thought
she was helping me.
487
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:22,879
The fact is I'm not very good
at housekeeping yet.
488
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,349
If you like me any less
for that, I'm sorry.
489
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:28,051
But you'll just have to accept
me as I am, faults and all.
490
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:33,890
Oh, Samantha, you don't know
how happy you've made me.
491
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,959
What are you crying about?
492
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,129
Oh, what do you men
know about anything?
493
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:40,998
What's going on here?
494
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,767
I didn't want you
to be perfect, dear.
495
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:46,703
Well, then why did you
act as if you did?
496
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:49,173
Because I'm a silly old woman
497
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:52,309
who was afraid she'd be pushed
aside and forgotten.
498
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,944
And you seemed
499
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:57,214
so self-sufficient
and so good at everything.
500
00:21:57,216 --> 00:22:00,651
I just thought
I wouldn't be needed anymore.
501
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,354
Do you understand?
502
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,656
Yes, I do.
503
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,358
I'll go see
if I can't find Aunt Clara.
504
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,792
Oh, she's at the bus station.
505
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:09,926
How do you know?
506
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:11,195
I asked her umbrella.
507
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:12,296
Good thinking.
508
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:14,298
I'll be back in a few minutes.
509
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,268
Well, I hope he finds her.
510
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:19,836
You asked her what?
511
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:26,743
Oh, uh, family joke.
I just have a hunch she's there.
512
00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:32,316
Well, maybe Aunt Clara's right.
You are a witch after all.
513
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:34,818
I am.
514
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:41,325
But don't spread it around.
515
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:44,528
Oh, it'll be our secret.
516
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:52,936
Oh, Darrin,
you don't really think
517
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:54,805
that I bronzed
your tennis racket, do you?
518
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:58,542
Of course not, Mom.
I knew Pop was kidding.
519
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:02,446
However, I did bronze
your shoes. Your football shoes.
520
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:04,147
We're using them for bookends.
521
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:05,449
Oh!
522
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,651
Hey, how'd you girls like
to see a little magic, hmm?
523
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:08,952
Oh, Frank, for heaven's sake!
524
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,454
We'll show you
a little trick here.
525
00:23:10,456 --> 00:23:12,656
Uh, Aunt Clara? Take a card
out of the deck, huh?
526
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:14,225
Just any card.
Go on.
527
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:16,760
Take it out of there and look
at it and put it back in.
528
00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:18,028
Don't let me see it, now.
529
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:19,296
Oh. Well!
530
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:22,566
Let me see.
Hmm. All right.
531
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,667
You got it?
532
00:23:23,669 --> 00:23:24,835
Yep!
533
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:27,238
All right. Put it back in now.
Anywhere.
534
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,805
Just anywhere. Right?
535
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,442
Alrighty, now. Let's see.
536
00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:34,044
Your card is a, uh...
537
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,112
[CHUCKLES]
538
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:37,180
Funny. This always
worked before.
539
00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:39,983
You'll find it
in your top coat pocket.
540
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:45,456
Oh.
541
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,124
PHYLLIS:
Now, how did you do that?
542
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:48,325
I'm a witch!
543
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:54,398
Oh, well, now, I think I'll go
for my little constitutional.
544
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,966
Do you mind if we
walk along with you?
545
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:58,135
Uh, walk?
546
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:02,740
Oh! Oh, well. Oh, well,
that might be nice for a change.
547
00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:04,475
You know, the next time we come,
548
00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:06,109
I must bring
my sister Madge along.
549
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:09,112
She and Clara would have a ball,
wouldn't they, Frank?
550
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:11,148
[LAUGHS]
551
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:12,883
AUNT CLARA:
Oh, dear.
552
00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:16,453
They really seem to have
hit it off, haven't they?
553
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,089
They sure have. And they think
you're the greatest.
554
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,758
That's nice.
555
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,293
Well, it's as I said.
556
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:23,927
All you had to be was yourself.
557
00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,962
You're right, darling.
558
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,835
Oh, Samantha!
559
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:33,470
You said I should be myself.
560
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,938
I take it all back.
561
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:39,510
Maybe my folks aren't ready
for the real you yet.
562
00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:47,785
[♪♪♪]
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