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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,442
[ENDORA CHUCKLING]
2
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:15,446
Good morning, darling.
3
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:18,316
Or should I be more
specific and say,
4
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,819
"Good 4:00 in the morning"?
5
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,420
What are you doing up so early?
6
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:24,189
I'm not up early.
7
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,391
I'm up late.
One party after another.
8
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,660
I haven't been to bed yet.
9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,629
And neither have you,
apparently.
10
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:34,232
Well, it's typical,
typical, typical.
Of what?
11
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,101
Of the neglected housewife.
12
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,571
Drinking coffee,
eaten alive by suspicion,
13
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,240
her husband out till the wee
small hours of the morning,
14
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:43,341
doing...
15
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,376
whatever it is he's doing.
16
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,412
Darrin's working in the study.
17
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,581
You're joking.
18
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,517
No. He's been working
till the wee small hours
19
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:53,651
every night this week.
20
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,387
Oh, well. Lust is lust,
I suppose.
21
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,724
Whether it's for women or money,
it's all the same.
22
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,192
It has nothing to do with lust.
23
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,928
He's creating a new campaign
for Caldwell's Soup.
24
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,763
Ambition.
25
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,032
Thoroughly immoral
and foolishly mortal.
26
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,834
Darrin's a very dedicated man.
27
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:09,868
So is Caesar,
28
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,804
and all it got him
is a torn toga.
29
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,107
He was such a nice man too.
30
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,108
[GIGGLES]
31
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,275
Well, if you'll excuse me,
32
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,211
I'm gonna take Darrin
some coffee.
33
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,146
Very well.
34
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,081
And you can tell What's-His-Name
35
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,783
that any man
with a wife like you,
36
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,786
who spends every night
with a can of soup,
37
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,088
must be even less than human.
38
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,032
[♪♪♪]
39
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:26,878
[RINGING]
40
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,913
[RINGING STOPS]
41
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,426
Sweetheart, you've
been up all night.
42
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,460
You'll get sick.
43
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,495
I will not get sick.
I am sick.
44
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,464
Nothing's worth
your killing yourself.
45
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,765
I won't have this.
46
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:51,636
Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.
I'll be fine.
47
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,704
What time is it?
48
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:53,839
About 8:30.
49
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,440
Eight-thirty!
I'll miss the train.
50
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,209
Excuse me, honey.
I have to take my shower.
51
00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:00,145
Darrin?
52
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,948
What's this sudden urgency
about Caldwell's Soup anyway?
53
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:03,949
[SHOWER RUNNING]
54
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,052
[DARRIN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
55
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,720
[GIGGLES]
56
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:09,955
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
57
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,890
I can't hear a word
you're saying.
58
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:16,261
[DARRIN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
59
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:23,001
"What was good enough for Dad
is good enough for me."
60
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:25,536
Hmm.
61
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,506
"Always a winner.
Caldwell's Soup."
62
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,641
[DARRIN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
63
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,278
"Game called
on account of soup."
64
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,580
Oh, that's very clever.
65
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,284
You understand
what I mean, honey?
66
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,285
Hm?
67
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,286
Competition.
68
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:42,487
At one time, Caldwell's Soup
69
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,256
was the only packaged soup
on the market.
70
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,523
Now there are 40 other brands.
71
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:46,992
Would you please
get my, ah, suit?
72
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,394
The one that just came back
from the cleaners?
Oh, sure.
73
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,196
And a clean shirt,
please, honey.
Mm-hm.
74
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:52,563
I think those layouts are cute.
75
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,865
Cute?
76
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,633
[SIGHS]
77
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:01,239
Uninspired, pedestrian trash.
That's what they are.
78
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,740
But they're close.
79
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,376
Ah, just misses it, misses.
80
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,777
Here you are.
Oh, thanks, babe.
81
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,645
I don't know what
you're so worried about.
82
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,813
I mean, after all, you are
83
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,982
the best advertising man
in the world.
84
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:12,850
Thank you, honey.
85
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,719
Up till today,
I wouldn't argue the point.
86
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,288
But in the advertising business,
87
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,089
you're just as good
as your last battle.
88
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,624
Caldwell's sales
are falling off.
89
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,359
They're ready to go
to another agency.
90
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,661
Well, I don't think that's fair.
91
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,530
You've been selling
their soup for so long.
92
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,597
That's just the trouble.
93
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,066
Old Man Caldwell keeps yammering
94
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,600
about being so close
to the forest,
95
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,269
you can't see the trees.
[CHUCKLES]
96
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,071
Oh, well. You'll get it.
I know you will.
97
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,472
It had better be before noon,
98
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,308
because I'm having lunch
with Caldwell.
99
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,310
I don't know.
Maybe I'm losing my touch.
100
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,377
Aww.
101
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,420
Darrin?
Hm?
102
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,822
Suppose you use
some familiar expressions
103
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,992
with double meanings.
104
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,261
For instance...
105
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,796
instead of a farmer,
106
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,032
make this fellow a fisherman.
107
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:06,171
Put in a background
like the sea...
108
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,942
and instead of chicken okra,
109
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,144
make it bouillabaisse.
110
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,746
And the billboard could read:
111
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:19,684
"A pretty kettle of fish."
112
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,519
DARRIN:
"A pretty kettle of fish."
113
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,757
A pretty kettle of fish!
114
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:30,395
Now, for instance,
in the poker game...
Uh-huh.
115
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,831
Maybe you could
take out the lady...
116
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:34,932
DARRIN:
Yeah?
117
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:37,335
Put the soup in the middle
of the table...
118
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,804
and this one could read:
119
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,339
"The...
120
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,208
"pot's...
121
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,509
right..."
122
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,613
The pot's right!
Caldwell's Soup!
Like it?
123
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,315
It's perfect!
[GIGGLES]
124
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,551
Now, this one...
125
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:56,154
Instead of baseball hats
and gloves,
126
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,623
they could wear
astronaut helmets
127
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,559
and carry jet planes...
128
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,228
and the billboard could read:
129
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,398
"The race for space...
130
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,532
DARRIN:
Yeah?
131
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,367
"at the table...
Yeah?
132
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,837
When you serve...
Caldwell's Soup."
133
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,572
How about that?
Incredible.
134
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:15,706
You really like it?
135
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,509
They're the answer
to all the problems.
136
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,976
These'll cinch the account.
137
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,514
Here, sweetheart,
put 'em right in here.
138
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,948
Oh, okay.
There you go.
139
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,150
Thank you, honey.
140
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,485
These'll knock Old Man Caldwell
right on his...
141
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,227
Of course!
Why didn't I see it before?
142
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,398
It was you.
143
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,267
You did it.
Did what?
144
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,769
Lay out a perfect solution
of the whole campaign
145
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,737
and hand it to me
on a silver platter.
146
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,706
I was only trying to help.
147
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,076
Sam, I don't want
that kind of help.
148
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,010
I told you, magic was out.
149
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:56,414
But there was no magic
in what I did.
150
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,715
Well, what would you call it?
151
00:06:57,717 --> 00:07:00,585
I'd call it imagination.
I do have some, you know.
152
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,888
Oh, come on, Sam. I don't have
that kind of an imagination,
153
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,056
and I'm a professional.
154
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,824
Well, Darrin,
all I tried to do was...
155
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,226
I know what you tried to do.
156
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,595
And from now on,
keep your miracles to yourself.
157
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,669
Eh.
158
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,505
Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
159
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:21,606
It just doesn't...
160
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,408
What we're trying to do,
Mr. Caldwell,
161
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,009
is, uh, update your campaign.
162
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,011
Make it appeal more
to the modern eye.
163
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:30,582
Well, I'm not so sure I care
to appeal to the modern eye.
164
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,183
I like to think
there's a good bit
165
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,919
of old-fashioned romance
left in the world.
166
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,121
So would I, Mr. Caldwell,
167
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,888
but the people
in your sales department
168
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,557
seem to feel that
in order to sell soup,
169
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,792
we have to keep up
with the trend of the times.
170
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:42,893
They're right, of course.
171
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,795
Yes, but I'm
from the old school.
172
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,531
You know what I mean?
173
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,501
What was good enough for Dad
was good enough for me.
174
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,635
[CHUCKLES]
175
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,902
Do you get what I mean?
176
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:52,903
Yes, sir, I do.
177
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:54,205
That's why I thought
178
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,041
that this particular layout
of the old-fashioned kitchen,
179
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,543
farm kitchen,
would appeal to you.
180
00:07:58,545 --> 00:07:59,544
Note that caption.
181
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,845
That caption.
182
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:04,815
"What was good enough for Dad
is good enough for me."
183
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,417
[CHUCKLES]
184
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,418
Eh...
185
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,486
No, it's no good.
186
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,322
Now, let me tell you why
187
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,291
we've got to look
in another area...
188
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,461
DARRIN:
He's not buyin', buddy.He's not buyin'.
189
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,597
Samantha's ideas could cinch
the whole deal for ya.
190
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:23,368
Tell him. Go ahead. Tell him.
191
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:27,272
It just misses making the point.
You get what I mean, Stephens?
192
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,575
Stephens? Stephens?
193
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,577
Yoo-hoo.
194
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,280
Oh, y-y-yes.
I do, uh, see.
195
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,748
Uh, perhaps this will
more closely illustrate
196
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,318
what you're trying to get.
197
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,153
"Always a winner."
198
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,621
Well, it does have something.
199
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,990
But then again, it doesn't
have anything else.
200
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,825
Do you get what I mean?
201
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,761
You see, when a group of men
get together playing poker,
202
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,363
they're not thinking
of buying soup.
203
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,998
Don't fight it.
204
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,868
Tell him Samantha's slogan
for the layout. It's a natural.
205
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:01,339
What's the difference
who thought of it first?
206
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,941
Are you with me, Stephens?
207
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,477
Stephens, I say,
are you with me?
208
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,547
Oh, yes. Uh, yes, sir.
209
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,782
Well, that'll help.
210
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,451
How 'bout this one?
211
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,386
Specially designed
for kid appeal.
212
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,654
Kid appeal?
213
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,790
Now, kids aren't interested
in buying soup.
214
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,659
We have to make them
soup-conscious.
215
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,361
You'll never do it.
216
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,929
As far as kids are concerned,
217
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,198
what isn't bubblegum
is medicine.
218
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,867
You're losing him.
219
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,470
In about 10 seconds,
he's going to walk.
220
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,339
And what have you proved?
221
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,508
That you've got pride
and integrity.
222
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,009
And you're stupid?
223
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,512
Too close to the trees, my boy.
224
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,714
Trees?
Yeah.
225
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,915
What I mean is that you
have had our account
226
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,817
for a long time,
Stephens. And...
227
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,052
don't worry about it,
228
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,920
we all strike out
once in a while.
229
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,089
I wouldn't exactly
say that, Mr. Caldwell.
230
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,991
Oh, now, you don't have
to apologize at all.
231
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,360
No one is perfect.
232
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,195
Oh, look at that, 2:00.
I had no idea it was so late.
233
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,230
I've got to get going.
234
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,798
Mr. Caldwell.
235
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,734
Yes, what is it?
236
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,572
Um, nothing. It's no good.
237
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,774
Well, let me be
the judge of that.
238
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,576
What were you going to say?
239
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:17,348
If I do it once,
I'll do it again.
240
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,317
And before you know,
I won't be able
241
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,818
to do anything for myself.
242
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,922
Well, that's
an interesting philosophy.
243
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,124
But I don't see how
it applies to soup.
244
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,761
You take care of the check,
will you?
245
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,742
[VACUUM CLEANER STOPS]
246
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,011
Good morning, darling.
247
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,414
What's this supposed to mean?
248
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,549
Well, you enjoy
working like a horse.
249
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,851
I thought you might enjoy
looking like one.
250
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,521
Oh, very funny.
251
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,088
Now, why don't you go away?
252
00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:01,125
I've had about all the sarcasm
I can take for one day.
253
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,760
Oh, really?
254
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,465
Trouble in paradise, eh?
255
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,467
Nothing we can't work out.
256
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,636
Besides, it was all my fault.
257
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,472
That's a wonderful
attitude, Samantha.
258
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,173
We haven't had a martyr
in the family
259
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,908
since the Salem trials.
260
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,346
What did you do
to What's-His-Name,
261
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,047
besides bruise his ego a bit?
262
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,382
Isn't that enough?
263
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,317
Nonsense.
It isn't nonsense.
264
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,219
He thought my ideas
were witchcraft.
265
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,454
Well, weren't they?
266
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,356
Of course not!
But he doesn't believe me.
267
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,857
He never will.
268
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,159
I told you it'd be impossible
for you to be a help to him.
269
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,562
He doesn't need my help.
270
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,930
He did very well
before I came along.
271
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:43,334
And he'll do very well
without you, I agree.
272
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,269
Now, don't you put words
in my mouth.
273
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,838
I'm not going anywhere.
274
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,406
I'm gonna stay right here,
275
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,641
and I'm gonna clean this house
with my own two hands.
276
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,377
And then I'm gonna start
to fix dinner,
277
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,211
and then I'm gonna take a bath
278
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,280
and put on
the sexiest dress I own.
279
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,749
And when my husband comes home,
280
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,149
I'm gonna have a drink with him
281
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,085
and spend the evening
trying to convince him
282
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,687
that he was right
and I was wrong,
283
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,155
and from now on
I'm gonna mind my own business.
284
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:08,626
To err is human,
to forgive divine.
285
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:09,761
Exactly.
286
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,662
When you're up to here in err,
287
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:16,066
and you've changed
into one huge lump of divine...
288
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,469
don't say I didn't warn you.
289
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,072
[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
290
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:31,499
[DOOR OPENS]
291
00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:38,973
Hi, darling.
292
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,041
Hello, honey.
293
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,509
Oh, you must be dead.
294
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:42,844
Did you have a hard day?
295
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,813
Oh, no. I often lose
the agency's biggest accounts.
296
00:12:45,815 --> 00:12:47,715
Two or three a week sometimes.
297
00:12:47,717 --> 00:12:49,817
Darrin, you didn't have an idea?
298
00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:51,419
No, and I didn't
use yours either.
299
00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:54,055
Well, I thought you might
in an emergency.
300
00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:56,891
You have almost as much faith
in my lack of integrity
301
00:12:56,893 --> 00:12:58,693
as you have in my lack
of talent.
302
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,695
Oh, Darrin, please.
303
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,764
Well, you weren't
entirely wrong.
304
00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:05,600
I thought about spreading out
your miracle there before him,
305
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:08,102
just to save my own face,
but I bit my tongue.
306
00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:09,871
[MUMBLES]
You see that?
307
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:13,608
I let him walk out on me,
in spite of all your influence.
308
00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:15,309
What do you mean by that?
309
00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:17,979
I could feel you there
in the restaurant,
310
00:13:17,981 --> 00:13:20,081
prodding and digging
at my conscience.
311
00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:22,717
Well, I haven't been anywhere
near your conscience.
312
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,385
All day, I've been
right here at home.
313
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,153
I've vacuumed and scrubbed
and cleaned.
314
00:13:26,155 --> 00:13:27,154
And I made dinner.
315
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:29,423
Well, big deal.
316
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:31,059
What does that mean?
317
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:33,895
Well, I've seen the way
you can, wham, wash
318
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:37,498
and, uh, pow, clean and...
319
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,967
ring-a-ding up a dinner.
320
00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:42,704
Well, I didn't wham, pow
or ring-a-ding up anything.
321
00:13:42,706 --> 00:13:45,339
These are bona fide
dishpan hands.
322
00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:47,909
You could've whipped that up
too, for appearance.
323
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:49,310
Are you calling me a liar?
324
00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:50,344
If the shoe fits.
325
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,383
Sam.
326
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,188
Samantha!
327
00:14:02,826 --> 00:14:04,258
Samantha, listen to me.
328
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,560
[DOOR SLAMS]
329
00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:08,730
Samantha, unlock this door.
330
00:14:08,732 --> 00:14:10,632
It's not locked.
331
00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:12,266
Oh.
332
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:15,003
Now, listen to me,
Samantha. I...
333
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,176
Now, cut this out,
Sam. I...
334
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:23,711
I wanna see you immediately.
335
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:28,650
Sam, you're my wife.
336
00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:30,284
I demand that you
appear before me.
337
00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:34,522
Now, didn't you hear
what I said?
338
00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:37,792
Sam, this isn't going
to prove anything.
339
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,361
You're merely being
supersensitive and obstinate.
340
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,265
Now, listen to me.
341
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:47,101
Don't do anything
you may regret later on.
342
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:56,644
Now, Sam, cut this out.
This is ridiculous.
343
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,414
Sam, I've had enough of this.
344
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:04,386
Ow!
345
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:11,993
Sam!
346
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,062
Sam, now, cut this out.
347
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,631
Samantha, put that back!
348
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,007
Where do you think you're going?
349
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,409
You're not leaving this house.
350
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,116
She couldn't.
351
00:15:44,493 --> 00:15:45,993
Samantha, come back here.
352
00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:50,832
Samantha!
353
00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:54,202
Samantha!
354
00:15:58,341 --> 00:16:01,275
Samantha, come back here,
do you hear me?
355
00:16:04,347 --> 00:16:07,381
All right, have it your way.
356
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:15,156
My poor baby.
357
00:16:15,158 --> 00:16:16,457
He called me a liar.
358
00:16:16,459 --> 00:16:19,426
I know. I heard
the whole thing.
359
00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:21,295
I don't want to say
I told you so...
360
00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:22,297
Then don't.
361
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:26,333
There, there, dear.
362
00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:27,568
You just hold on to Mother,
363
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,472
and we'll go far, far away.
364
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:33,674
Now, before we do,
365
00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:37,779
I think I'll change him
into a horned toad.
366
00:16:37,781 --> 00:16:39,147
Mother, please don't.
367
00:16:42,051 --> 00:16:43,684
Maybe you're right.
368
00:16:43,686 --> 00:16:45,653
Why make it easy for him?
369
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:48,555
I think I'll leave him
just as he is.
370
00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:55,897
Darrin.
371
00:16:55,899 --> 00:16:58,800
I've got six memos on my desk
from the legal department,
372
00:16:58,802 --> 00:17:01,068
reminding me about
Caldwell's renewal.
373
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:03,704
How'd your lunch go
yesterday? Did you...?
374
00:17:05,842 --> 00:17:07,074
Are you awake?
375
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,112
[GROGGILY]
I have been all night.
376
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:13,915
You look terrible.
What's happened?
377
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:15,049
Nothing much.
378
00:17:15,051 --> 00:17:17,018
I just lost the Caldwell
account and my wife
379
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,019
all in one week.
380
00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:20,521
What?
381
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:22,023
That's horrible.
382
00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:23,791
I know, I can't believe it.
383
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,059
Your wife too, huh?
384
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,199
Oh, well, it's par
for the course for newlyweds.
385
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,100
It'll work out.
386
00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:35,036
But what about Caldwell?
387
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:36,370
Well, what do you want me to do?
388
00:17:36,372 --> 00:17:38,339
The man can't recognize
a good ad campaign
389
00:17:38,341 --> 00:17:39,340
when he sees one.
390
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:40,574
All right, Darrin,
391
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:43,010
but I better get someone else
busy on the account.
392
00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:44,645
And don't feel too badly
about it.
393
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,180
Happens to all of us.
394
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:48,716
I don't care about Caldwell.
395
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,818
I was talking about your wife.
396
00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,688
But don't feel too badly
about Caldwell either.
397
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:56,290
You've got a great
batting average.
398
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,859
You gotta whiff one
once in a while.
399
00:17:57,861 --> 00:18:02,029
I didn't whiff anything.
I was right on top of it.
400
00:18:02,031 --> 00:18:05,333
I just came up too late
with the answers, that's all.
401
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,969
What do you mean, too late?
It's never too late.
402
00:18:07,971 --> 00:18:10,104
If you got the answer
to this campaign, tell me.
403
00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:11,538
We can still hold the account.
404
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:14,608
I could lock up Caldwell
in two minutes if I wanted to.
405
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:17,044
"If you wanted to"?
406
00:18:17,046 --> 00:18:19,813
Don't you want the sun to rise
tomorrow morning?
407
00:18:19,815 --> 00:18:21,615
Don't you wanna live
to a ripe old age?
408
00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:24,018
Don't you want me
to live till tomorrow?
409
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,087
Don't you want
the most important person
410
00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:27,889
in the whole world
to come back to you?
411
00:18:27,891 --> 00:18:29,857
Of course I want her
to come back.
412
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,792
I mean Caldwell.
413
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:37,899
All right, take a look at those
layout boards on the desk.
414
00:18:37,901 --> 00:18:40,768
There's your campaign.
Go ahead, live.
415
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:45,606
"The race for space
at the table."
416
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,942
"The pot's right."
417
00:18:47,944 --> 00:18:51,345
"A pretty kettle of fish."
418
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:54,481
Darrin, this stuff is great.
You're a genius, you hear me?
419
00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:58,085
You're a 100-percent
unadulterated genius.
420
00:18:58,087 --> 00:19:00,187
I'll have Caldwell back here
in 10 minutes.
421
00:19:00,189 --> 00:19:03,124
He'll get down on the floor
and kiss your feet.
422
00:19:03,126 --> 00:19:05,859
And, Darrin,
get yourself cleaned up.
423
00:19:05,861 --> 00:19:07,661
I'll try.
424
00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:10,664
LARRY:
"A race for space at the table
425
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,134
when you serve
Caldwell's leek and potato."
426
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:15,436
"The pot's right.
Caldwell's Soup."
427
00:19:15,438 --> 00:19:17,438
"A pretty kettle of fish."
428
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,908
Mr. Caldwell, this campaign
is not only clever and humorous,
429
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,543
but it has taste,
430
00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:25,112
that soupçon of something extra
431
00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:28,149
that Caldwell's Soups
always looks for.
432
00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:29,683
Darrin Stephens,
433
00:19:29,685 --> 00:19:31,852
I take my hat off to you.
434
00:19:31,854 --> 00:19:33,654
I don't like it.
435
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,389
You don't like it?
436
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,857
Well, it's gimmicky.
437
00:19:36,859 --> 00:19:38,092
Gimmicky?
Mm.
438
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,734
CALDWELL:
Gimmicky.
439
00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:43,630
Did you say you didn't like it?
440
00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:46,767
That's right. It has no good
old-fashioned romance in it.
441
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:50,404
You mean you really
don't like it?
442
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:53,107
Mmm. No warmth,
no love, no sex.
443
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,275
Sex?
444
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,177
I don't suppose
there are many of us left
445
00:19:56,179 --> 00:19:59,113
who look upon soup as having
sex appeal, but I do.
446
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,114
I always will.
447
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,683
And you're not going to buy it.
448
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:03,884
I'm sorry, Stephens.
449
00:20:03,886 --> 00:20:05,752
That's marvelous!
450
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,622
What's the matter with you?
451
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,091
You wouldn't understand, Larry.
452
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:11,093
My...
453
00:20:12,028 --> 00:20:13,294
Mr. Caldwell,
454
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,097
are you absolutely sure
you won't change your mind?
455
00:20:16,099 --> 00:20:17,331
Absolutely.
456
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,966
Mr. Caldwell,
457
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,401
I'm eternally grateful to you.
458
00:20:20,403 --> 00:20:22,769
Wait a minute. Have you become
completely uncorked?
459
00:20:22,771 --> 00:20:23,904
Where are you going?
460
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:25,506
I'm taking the rest
of the day off.
461
00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:26,940
You don't mind, do you, Larry?
462
00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:29,110
There's something I gotta do
before it's too late.
463
00:20:29,112 --> 00:20:31,345
And thanks again, Mr. Caldwell.
464
00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:34,482
That's perfectly all right.
That's... all right.
465
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,550
LARRY:
Mr. Caldwell,
before you leave,
466
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:38,019
I can assure you
that McMann & Tate
467
00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,420
will come up with a campaign
468
00:20:39,422 --> 00:20:42,156
that will be everything
you expect it to be.
469
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:45,092
I know that we can deliver.
And I know that you'll buy.
470
00:20:45,094 --> 00:20:47,061
I hope not.
471
00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:50,464
It would be a shame to make
that poor boy unhappy again.
472
00:20:53,636 --> 00:20:55,302
Sam?
473
00:20:57,373 --> 00:20:59,140
Sam?
474
00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:05,612
Sweetheart?
475
00:21:12,721 --> 00:21:17,591
Sam, I don't know where you are
or if you can even hear me,
476
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:19,760
but I want you to know,
I apologize
477
00:21:19,762 --> 00:21:23,897
for being willful,
self-centered and stupid.
478
00:21:23,899 --> 00:21:25,699
I was wrong,
479
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:29,336
from start to finish,
all the way down the line.
480
00:21:29,338 --> 00:21:31,205
Since you left, I haven't been
able to think
481
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,739
about anything but you.
482
00:21:32,741 --> 00:21:35,276
Nothing means anything to me.
483
00:21:36,579 --> 00:21:38,412
I love you, Sam.
484
00:21:38,414 --> 00:21:39,713
I miss you.
485
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,049
I wish you'd come home.
486
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,051
Hi.
487
00:21:46,422 --> 00:21:47,988
Sam.
488
00:21:50,759 --> 00:21:52,326
I'm glad to see you.
489
00:21:52,328 --> 00:21:54,261
Where have you been?
490
00:21:54,263 --> 00:21:55,262
Not far.
491
00:21:55,264 --> 00:21:57,298
I'm sorry, Sam.
492
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:58,999
I should've known
you wouldn't lie to me.
493
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:05,072
What made you change your mind?
494
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,007
Caldwell wouldn't
buy the campaign.
495
00:22:07,009 --> 00:22:10,077
What do you mean, "Caldwell
wouldn't buy the campaign"?
496
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:11,645
I mean he wouldn't
buy the campaign,
497
00:22:11,647 --> 00:22:13,380
so it must have been
your imagination.
498
00:22:13,382 --> 00:22:14,748
Your ideas were no good.
499
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,950
Well, Darrin, I don't
think that's very nice.
500
00:22:16,952 --> 00:22:19,420
Well, I-I don't mean
that your ideas are no good
501
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:22,623
or that you don't have any
imagination...
I know, I know.
502
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:24,291
You... You know.
I know what you mean.
503
00:22:24,293 --> 00:22:25,292
I understand.
504
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:26,827
It doesn't matter.
505
00:22:26,829 --> 00:22:29,863
The only thing that's important
is that I love you.
506
00:22:29,865 --> 00:22:31,465
And I love you.
507
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,269
[GIGGLES]
508
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:36,670
Oh, it seems ridiculous
509
00:22:36,672 --> 00:22:39,306
that a can of soup
could ever come between us.
510
00:22:39,308 --> 00:22:41,842
Nothing ever will again.
511
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:50,050
What did you just say?
512
00:22:50,052 --> 00:22:53,354
I said, the only thing that was
important is that I loved you.
513
00:22:53,356 --> 00:22:55,289
No, after that,
you said something.
514
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,690
I don't know. When?
515
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:58,992
Why didn't I think of that?
516
00:22:58,994 --> 00:23:01,462
What are you talking about?
517
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:02,963
You just said...
518
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,565
You sure you don't
know what you said?
519
00:23:04,567 --> 00:23:05,633
About what?
520
00:23:05,635 --> 00:23:08,269
Never mind. Never mind.
521
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:15,176
Sam, I've got it.
And it's perfect.
522
00:23:15,178 --> 00:23:16,377
It's more than perfect.
523
00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:20,047
It is inspired.
And you inspired it.
524
00:23:20,049 --> 00:23:21,048
I did?
525
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:22,583
Yes, you did.
You inspired it,
526
00:23:22,585 --> 00:23:25,018
and I found it, and that's
the way it ought to be.
527
00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:26,187
Where you going?
528
00:23:26,189 --> 00:23:27,354
To see Caldwell.
529
00:23:27,356 --> 00:23:28,989
But I'll be back
before you know it.
530
00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:29,991
I love you, Sam.
531
00:23:31,227 --> 00:23:33,126
Won't give up, eh?
532
00:23:35,097 --> 00:23:36,664
What do you think he'd say
533
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,400
if he knew you
had given him a hint?
534
00:23:39,402 --> 00:23:40,901
He does know.
535
00:23:40,903 --> 00:23:43,237
I inspired it, and he found it.
536
00:23:43,239 --> 00:23:44,572
You heard him say so.
537
00:23:44,574 --> 00:23:47,241
You're spitting hairs, Samantha.
538
00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:49,042
No, not at all.
539
00:23:49,044 --> 00:23:52,413
That's the way it should be.
You heard him say that too.
540
00:23:52,415 --> 00:23:53,681
Anyway,
541
00:23:53,683 --> 00:23:55,982
all you can ask of anyone
is to take a little
542
00:23:55,984 --> 00:23:58,419
and make it go a long, long way.
543
00:24:01,424 --> 00:24:02,856
Good.
544
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,430
Beautiful, isn't it?
545
00:24:09,432 --> 00:24:11,665
Breathtaking.
546
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,768
You know, I come down here
547
00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:17,238
every once in a while
just to sit and stare.
548
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,241
It is kind of old-fashioned
and romantic, isn't it?
549
00:24:20,243 --> 00:24:21,475
Mmm-hmm.
550
00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:25,246
It's wonderful.
And I'm very proud of you.
551
00:24:25,248 --> 00:24:27,381
Thank you, sweetheart.
552
00:24:33,422 --> 00:24:37,190
SAMANTHA:
"The only thing that will ever
come between us."
553
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:47,100
[♪♪♪]
38794
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