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In 1478 the Catholic Monarchs established the
Tribunal of the Holy Office of the Inquisition.
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It would only be abolished in 1834.
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1515 saw the birth of Teresa Sánchez
de Cepeda Dávila y Ahumada,
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known as Teresa of Jesús
or Teresa of Ávila.
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The first convent that she established
was the Convent of Saint Joseph.
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You never have doubts, Teresa?
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I am yours, born for you.
What do you command of me?
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Doña Guiomar, we are alone.
Nobody will defend us.
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SHHHHH!
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00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,551
"God walks among cooking pots".
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Curious phrase. Yours apparently:
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"God walks among cooking pots".
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So here we are.
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Among cooking pots.
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And it is about God.
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Do you know who I am?
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I know.
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Then you know too why I am here.
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No, I don't know.
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Teresa, we have never met.
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But I know you.
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I have walked your path.
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I know how this house came into being.
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Twenty-seven years ago,
you took your vows.
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Most of that time, your order loved you.
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No-one suspected you would become
a cause of controversy.
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Some time ago,
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defying your Mother Superior,
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your confessor,
and the provincial prelate,
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you inveigled other sisters
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into establishing this house,
which you call the Convent of San José.
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What you have done brings division
to your sisters and your order,
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and scandal to the city.
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I have learned enough
to have this house dissolved.
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But that is not what I want.
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Answer me one thing.
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Who taught you to lie, Teresa?
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No-one.
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I know your thought is twisted
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and that makes you suffer.
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I want you to be able
to free yourself of this burden.
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Tell me about yourself, Teresa.
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Who is Teresa?
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Nobody.
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Too much humility, Teresa.
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We both know that's not your way.
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Tell me
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who you are, Teresa.
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That is, if you know who you are.
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I want to hear it from your very own lips.
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And if they refuse?
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So my trial has begun?
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00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:38,426
They are just words, but
you may find some defence in them.
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I need no defence.
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This house was created because
it was the will of the Lord
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and it will only be
dissolved if he wills it.
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As for my path,
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it has been long and difficult.
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I doubt you could feign such innocence
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or pretend not to know who I am.
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00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:09,635
Or is it ignorance perhaps
of who you are?
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00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:14,510
Do I know you better
than you do yourself?
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My life has been devoted
to the works of the soul.
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Beyond that, I see nothing there
worthy of remembrance.
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Teresa, you have been accused.
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Speak
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and I will tell you
whether it should be forgotten.
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- The day I took my vows...
- You had no parents?
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Through the father,
we understand the child.
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Teresa.
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Teresa.
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I saw only virtue in my parents.
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They were the first good
the Lord gave me.
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They said you sleep alone,
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so I've come to sleep with you.
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In the sea there is a tower.
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In the tower, a window.
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At the window, a child,
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calling to the sailors.
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Your father was a great reader.
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I've seen his library.
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I've opened his books.
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Did you ever find in any of them
a single dubious thought?
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My father was a man of compassion
towards the poor, towards servants.
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He never had slaves.
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He never swore or complained.
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Teresa.
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"And in the middle of the road
stood Urganda the Unknown.
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A wise woman, with powers and spells".
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Urganda the Unknown.
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You think such tales of knights
are good? And true?
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My mother brought them home.
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She liked to read too
to distract herself from housework..
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Books absorbed us and every new
book brought us happiness.
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"Mary Magdalene,
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in the darkness of the cave,
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was carried by angels
high above the clouds...".
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Brought us happiness...
You and who else, Teresa?
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Your brother, who read so much,
did the books you were given
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include the Spiritual Alphabet?
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Beloved of converts from Judaism.
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I found it in your father's house.
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Tell me, Teresa.
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Then or later,
did you read any of these books?
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Some.
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Others I can't promise I didn't open,
if they were at hand.
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If you read, you will guide yourself.
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Those who read to you
bring you guidance.
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In books I have found the solace
I do not find in people.
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I always wish for a book
and time to read it,
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and I fear going to prayers
without a book.
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00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:44,010
A book is the shield against
the blows of thought.
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Without a book,
my soul is thrown into confusion
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and my thoughts are scattered.
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The book orders them, raises them up.
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The Lord has promised me,
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"I will give you a living book".
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He reads with me.
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The devil reads too,
and no less in company.
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Never with me.
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I remember, Teresa.
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I remember everyone
who has been accused, each one.
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Juan Sánchez, for example,
accused of heresy and apostasy.
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A converted Jew.
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Condemned for seven Fridays to wear
the penitent's scapular.
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They still remember him
on the streets of Toledo,
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with his yellow hood.
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Jew!
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From Toledo he went to Avila,
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where he bought a knighthood
and changed his name.
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Dropped his father's name
and took his mother's maiden name.
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She was an old Christian.
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I never knew him, my grandfather.
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The plague took him in 1507.
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Jewish dog!
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They say he died as he lived,
a good Christian.
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And you?
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Those who remember you as a girl
say you liked fine things and oils,
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and enjoyed company.
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Oh beauty excelling all other beauty!
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Giving pain with no wound,
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and without pain, remaking
the love of all creatures.
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Oh knot that binds
two such unequal things,
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why do you ever untie,
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for when bound you bind together
every good in the face of evil.
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You bind whoever is without being
to infinite being.
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Finish without finishing.
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00:22:31,926 --> 00:22:35,135
Love without having to love.
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Magnify our nothingness.
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You speak to your God
with such emboldened words?
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Only a small god
would attend to such small words.
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Why don't you tell me
what you want, once and for all?
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"Oh, living flame of love,
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who softly wounds the deepest core
of my soul...".
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Your friend wrote that.
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I am in no hurry.
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I want this house closed. By you.
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I want you to gather your followers
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and beg their forgiveness for leading
them on such a misguided adventure,
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and accompany them
to the doors of your former convent
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where you will be met with mercy.
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If you do not close this disobedient house,
I will do so.
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And this very night you will face justice.
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You will not be alone in the punishment.
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You will be accompanied by
Guiomar de Ulloa, Antonia de Henar,
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Antonia del Espíritu Santo,
María de la Paz,
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María de Ávila, Úrsula de los Santos,
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Inés de Jesús and
Ana de la Encarnación,
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your accomplices of 24 August.
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And Gaspar Daza,
who dared to provide the habits.
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The dissolution of this house.
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That is what I require.
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But it is not all that I require.
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I have a far more important task.
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To save your soul. Or burn it.
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Before dawn you will learn
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that you are walking a path
guided by phantoms.
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You will learn that it is not
God who guides you,
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but an infirm imagination.
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This is what you will confess
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to me, to your sisters and to yourself.
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Otherwise, you and they...
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will be burned at dawn.
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Teresa, let me walk with you.
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Together we will probe
what cast you into prisons
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from which, again and again,
you claim, the Lord released you.
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Come, Teresa.
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I permit you to speak not to know you,
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but for you to know yourself.
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Soul, you must seek yourself in me
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and you must seek for me in you.
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For if you will reach out to me
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you need but my name to say,
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and I will attend without delay.
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You must seek for me in you.
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And in such purity,
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did you never desire any man
to sin against God for you?
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Not even a certain priest
who defiled his sacred vows?
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He did not defile them with me.
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You know who I mean.
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He was fond of me.
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Not in a bad way,
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but in its excess
it became... no longer good,
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and should have been more tempered.
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He deceived himself and deceived me.
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He did not set out
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but simply knew no better.
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There was occasion for grave offence
had not God stood before me.
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In the dark night you are a yes.
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You have to descend to the
kingdom of roots.
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Under the bluish bristling horn of stars
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you feel yourself throb in a single beat.
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I started talking to him
because I thought he was a learned man.
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No learned man had ever deceived me,
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but I soon realised
better no learning than just a little.
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Before this happened,
everything was as it should be.
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Only dreams can see the future...
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I wanted to distance myself,
but he insisted.
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Try.
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Try.
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I thought it a virtue
to respect someone who respected me.
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That does not excuse you before God.
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Learned or not,
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it was public knowledge
that man celebrated mass in sin.
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His shame was known to all,
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and you should have stayed aloof
from such an impure companion.
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00:28:58,135 --> 00:29:00,635
We owe the sinner nothing
except our intransigence.
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Double intransigence if his sin
brings shame to the Church.
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There is no greater evil
than the evil of a priest.
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To cleanse the world we must
begin by cleansing the Church.
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I thought it was my duty.
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If that man had any remnant of spirit left,
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I should do what I could to save him.
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Not even for a greater good
should wrong be done,
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or even be contemplated.
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I brought him what light I could.
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00:30:18,801 --> 00:30:22,260
Do you believe in idols and their spells?
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That material things
have power over the spiritual?
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I'm not saying that spells bewitch.
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But I saw what I saw
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and I speak of it when I can,
to men and women alike.
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Women because, more than men,
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they are obliged to honesty.
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Men, so that they flee from
women who seek such dealings.
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00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,635
How do you know so much about
men and women, Teresa?
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Did you ever force your will
for any man to possess yours?
247
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Never.
248
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But only because the Lord
keeps me intact.
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If he abandoned me,
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I'd fall into the same wrongs as others.
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I was very wise about such wrongs.
252
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And to avoid such company,
253
00:31:33,510 --> 00:31:36,135
my father sent me to school
with the Augustinians.
254
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There was an old nun there
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that the Lord used
to bring me to the light.
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00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:49,385
You mean that it was the tears
of an old nun
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00:31:49,426 --> 00:31:51,010
that brought you back to the Lord?
258
00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:54,885
In those tears I saw that being a nun
was the happiest state.
259
00:31:57,010 --> 00:31:59,176
Why did you not ask your father
to have you married?
260
00:32:01,135 --> 00:32:04,051
Or did you fear marriage
more than the convent?
261
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:10,260
Many choose the habit
less out of friendship with God
262
00:32:10,301 --> 00:32:12,426
and more out of friendship
with other women,
263
00:32:13,510 --> 00:32:18,260
to avoid husbands, pregnancies,
and giving birth.
264
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,301
I never wanted to marry, that's the truth.
265
00:32:38,885 --> 00:32:43,051
Did your choice of your former Convent
have anything to do
266
00:32:43,135 --> 00:32:45,760
with a friend called Juana Juárez?
267
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:48,426
I did not enter the Encarnación
to follow Juana,
268
00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:49,635
nor anyone else.
269
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:53,176
So, we still do not understand
what guided your will.
270
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:55,635
My will was guided by the Lord
271
00:32:56,176 --> 00:32:59,676
by an illness that forced me
to return to my father's house.
272
00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:32,385
My brother was there too,
273
00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:35,426
and asked me to read him
spiritual books.
274
00:33:37,551 --> 00:33:41,010
"Beloved, look away, I'm going to fly".
275
00:33:43,301 --> 00:33:46,260
With the strength the words gave
to my heart,
276
00:33:46,885 --> 00:33:49,385
I understood again the truth
of when I was a child.
277
00:34:06,551 --> 00:34:08,135
That all is nothing
278
00:34:10,385 --> 00:34:12,260
and the vanity of the world
279
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,760
and to fear if death should come
how it might find me.
280
00:34:32,385 --> 00:34:37,135
From this I deduce
that it was fear rather than love
281
00:34:37,885 --> 00:34:39,885
that moved you to become a nun.
282
00:34:41,510 --> 00:34:42,676
It was love.
283
00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:46,051
It was against love.
284
00:34:58,926 --> 00:35:02,760
Against my father's wishes,
I went back to the convent.
285
00:35:04,510 --> 00:35:09,051
I crept from my home at dawn,
so that my father wouldn't know.
286
00:35:10,635 --> 00:35:13,385
The devil said to me,
on my way to the convent,
287
00:35:13,510 --> 00:35:16,051
"Go home, Teresa."
288
00:35:16,135 --> 00:35:18,635
You could never bear
the rigours of religion,
289
00:35:18,676 --> 00:35:20,635
"because you are spoilt".
290
00:35:37,551 --> 00:35:40,260
So you also speak to the devil.
291
00:35:41,426 --> 00:35:43,885
It was the Lord
who responded through my mouth.
292
00:35:44,510 --> 00:35:47,385
He swept away
the tangle of my confusion.
293
00:35:50,926 --> 00:35:54,010
"In contradiction lies the gain",
294
00:35:54,510 --> 00:35:58,676
he whispered into my ear.
295
00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:03,260
I resolved to suffer for him
and the devil fled.
296
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:06,510
I won't be afraid of you any more!
297
00:36:08,510 --> 00:36:10,551
You should be afraid of me!
298
00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:15,510
I fear those who do not fear the devil!
299
00:36:18,135 --> 00:36:19,385
I do too.
300
00:37:18,635 --> 00:37:20,176
As a novice I anguished
301
00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:23,051
about guilt without being guilty.
302
00:37:24,176 --> 00:37:26,260
I confused virtue with sin,
303
00:37:26,301 --> 00:37:28,010
and sin with virtue.
304
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,885
The convent didn't help me
to tell them apart.
305
00:37:34,135 --> 00:37:35,510
And prayer?
306
00:37:37,135 --> 00:37:39,260
Prayer didn't help either?
307
00:38:41,510 --> 00:38:44,010
You took little rest
considering how ill you were.
308
00:38:44,385 --> 00:38:45,801
Or were you not quite so ill?
309
00:38:48,051 --> 00:38:52,635
Two of those who treated you
doubted you were ill at all.
310
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,926
My illness was such that
311
00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:58,260
my body fears
the soul will always remember.
312
00:39:08,551 --> 00:39:11,135
So many healers
my father brought to me,
313
00:39:11,176 --> 00:39:12,885
they all said I was beyond hope.
314
00:39:14,135 --> 00:39:16,635
My heart's illness becomes more severe.
315
00:39:17,260 --> 00:39:22,426
Sharp teeth bite so hard into it
that I fear it is rabies.
316
00:39:23,385 --> 00:39:27,510
My throat cannot swallow,
not even water,
317
00:39:27,551 --> 00:39:29,135
I have no strength,
318
00:39:29,635 --> 00:39:33,051
exhausted because
they purge me every day,
319
00:39:33,510 --> 00:39:35,510
filled with despair.
320
00:39:37,010 --> 00:39:41,510
My nerves contracted in such agony
that even sleep brings no respite,
321
00:39:41,885 --> 00:39:43,760
I curl into a ball
322
00:39:44,176 --> 00:39:46,885
unable to move, like I was dead.
323
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,885
My tongue in pieces.
324
00:39:53,885 --> 00:39:57,635
My tongue is bitten into pieces.
325
00:40:08,176 --> 00:40:09,385
Teresa.
326
00:40:12,885 --> 00:40:15,051
Teresa, calm down.
327
00:40:25,551 --> 00:40:29,010
I hear my father's grief
because he did not let me confess.
328
00:40:34,260 --> 00:40:36,760
The grave open, ready for my body.
329
00:40:48,301 --> 00:40:51,385
If it wasn't for my father,
they'd have buried me alive.
330
00:40:55,635 --> 00:40:56,635
Teresa...
331
00:41:12,676 --> 00:41:15,760
There are many in the world
for whom solitude is the outcome of pain
332
00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:19,510
and who do not have the solace
you received from your sisters.
333
00:41:20,051 --> 00:41:22,260
They carried you in a sheet.
334
00:41:23,135 --> 00:41:25,801
Others cannot find even hands
to carry them.
335
00:42:35,926 --> 00:42:40,051
- That house did not feel like yours?
- I wanted it to be.
336
00:42:40,885 --> 00:42:42,260
I soon realised it could not be,
337
00:42:42,301 --> 00:42:45,010
and the Lord made me realise
that he knew the same.
338
00:42:45,135 --> 00:42:47,676
That house is not founded on perfection.
339
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,176
It is not a closed house.
340
00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:52,426
The nuns come and go.
341
00:42:52,510 --> 00:42:54,760
They come to the Encarnación
to escape from one world
342
00:42:54,885 --> 00:42:56,385
and enter a thousand worlds there.
343
00:42:56,510 --> 00:42:58,885
You show little love for the Encarnación.
344
00:42:59,635 --> 00:43:03,010
Though you received love and care there.
345
00:43:03,635 --> 00:43:06,551
You had no right to disobey the Rule.
346
00:43:07,135 --> 00:43:09,635
I would have paid dearly
for living in an open convent.
347
00:43:11,260 --> 00:43:14,426
Few understand that
to be cloistered is to be free.
348
00:43:51,051 --> 00:43:55,510
One day, when I was with
a certain person,
349
00:43:56,426 --> 00:43:58,385
I saw a lame toad
350
00:43:59,510 --> 00:44:04,385
walking more lightly than normal,
351
00:44:05,510 --> 00:44:07,801
a sort more usually seen at night.
352
00:44:08,926 --> 00:44:13,301
That is how the Lord
warned me against that friendship,
353
00:44:15,010 --> 00:44:18,051
although at first I resisted his warning.
354
00:44:19,635 --> 00:44:24,260
Until, once again, when I was
in the same company,
355
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,010
the Lord appeared before me
356
00:44:31,510 --> 00:44:34,885
and made his displeasure known
at seeing me with that person.
357
00:44:36,676 --> 00:44:39,885
I resolved never to see them again.
358
00:44:44,885 --> 00:44:49,385
So the Lord not only talks to you,
359
00:44:49,426 --> 00:44:53,385
but has also appeared to you.
360
00:44:57,135 --> 00:44:59,760
Was that the first time he appeared?
361
00:45:01,510 --> 00:45:03,635
The first time was one night
362
00:45:04,426 --> 00:45:08,926
he showed me just his hands.
363
00:45:11,010 --> 00:45:15,885
The following night he showed his face.
364
00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:23,510
He appeared little by little.
365
00:45:25,510 --> 00:45:27,926
Why not all of him at once?
366
00:45:31,385 --> 00:45:33,801
He was acknowledging my weakness,
367
00:45:34,385 --> 00:45:38,551
because so much glory
I couldn't have borne at once.
368
00:45:40,051 --> 00:45:44,135
I don't understand why a body
of such beauty causes such reticence.
369
00:45:44,260 --> 00:45:45,885
Of such beauty
370
00:45:47,176 --> 00:45:50,385
that it inspires fear,
371
00:45:51,676 --> 00:45:54,885
although I would not change it
for all the world's delights.
372
00:45:58,510 --> 00:46:01,385
What do you do when you see him?
373
00:46:02,135 --> 00:46:04,385
In the beginning, I did nothing but cry
374
00:46:05,926 --> 00:46:10,760
until he spoke a single word to me,
and I was no longer afraid.
375
00:46:18,135 --> 00:46:21,801
Now I don't need a word not to be afraid.
376
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,676
How do you know it's Christ?
377
00:47:30,051 --> 00:47:31,635
I don't know how I know,
378
00:47:33,635 --> 00:47:38,010
but I cannot stop knowing it.
379
00:47:40,510 --> 00:47:42,426
We have time, Teresa.
380
00:47:44,301 --> 00:47:47,760
I don't understand.
Help me to understand what it's like.
381
00:47:53,551 --> 00:47:55,510
This type of vision
382
00:47:57,176 --> 00:47:59,385
is beyond compare.
383
00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:07,760
It is everything.
384
00:48:10,176 --> 00:48:11,385
It is nothing.
385
00:48:14,801 --> 00:48:17,135
It is a gentle fire.
386
00:48:20,135 --> 00:48:21,760
I know that he is there.
387
00:48:26,801 --> 00:48:28,260
It's like...
388
00:48:29,385 --> 00:48:33,385
being blind or in the dark,
389
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:38,135
you can't see someone beside you,
but you can feel them?
390
00:48:45,635 --> 00:48:51,051
It's something like that, but not really.
391
00:48:53,885 --> 00:48:58,676
I can't hear him move, I can't touch him.
392
00:49:01,885 --> 00:49:03,801
There's nothing there but...
393
00:49:07,260 --> 00:49:09,135
a calling to the soul.
394
00:49:13,676 --> 00:49:17,010
And when the moment has gone, I doubt...
395
00:49:20,676 --> 00:49:22,260
I doubt whether it actually happened.
396
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:34,635
Your appointed confessor,
what does he say about all this?
397
00:49:35,010 --> 00:49:38,260
My confessor is afraid
to hear my confession.
398
00:49:38,385 --> 00:49:41,676
He told me,
when the Lord appeared before me,
399
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:43,301
to show him the cross,
400
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,176
because if he is the devil
this would drive him away.
401
00:49:47,510 --> 00:49:50,260
Did you do as your confessor
commanded?
402
00:49:50,301 --> 00:49:51,926
I did, and wept.
403
00:49:52,010 --> 00:49:56,635
When I showed him the cross,
I begged his forgiveness.
404
00:49:58,385 --> 00:50:00,801
He told me to obey my confessor,
405
00:50:01,885 --> 00:50:04,926
but when my confessor
forbad me to pray,
406
00:50:05,010 --> 00:50:07,551
the Lord said that was tyranny,
407
00:50:08,676 --> 00:50:11,176
and to show he was not a devil,
408
00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:15,385
he took the cross in his own hand,
409
00:50:16,260 --> 00:50:18,010
and when he gave it back
410
00:50:19,010 --> 00:50:21,176
it was fashioned of stones so precious
411
00:50:21,801 --> 00:50:25,926
that diamonds are poor things
in comparison with the stones I saw.
412
00:50:29,051 --> 00:50:31,051
I saw his five wounds too.
413
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,135
The crucified Christ appears to you?
414
00:50:38,051 --> 00:50:39,510
You see his wounds?
415
00:50:40,260 --> 00:50:43,510
His tortured skin? His blood?
416
00:50:47,676 --> 00:50:51,051
That cross with stones more
beautiful than diamonds,
417
00:50:51,135 --> 00:50:52,510
what have you done with it?
418
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:57,135
The Lord took the cross with him.
419
00:51:02,926 --> 00:51:05,885
If you are with other people
at any of those times,
420
00:51:06,635 --> 00:51:08,510
do they see what you see?
421
00:51:10,010 --> 00:51:11,635
No-one sees him except me.
422
00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:34,260
Sometimes the Lord also wanted
me to see this vision:
423
00:51:37,676 --> 00:51:43,135
I saw an angel nearby
424
00:51:44,635 --> 00:51:46,135
to the left,
425
00:51:47,301 --> 00:51:49,051
in carnal form,
426
00:51:51,176 --> 00:51:53,551
such as I have never seen
except in dreams.
427
00:51:57,635 --> 00:52:02,176
Not large, he was small,
428
00:52:03,926 --> 00:52:05,885
very beautiful.
429
00:52:10,010 --> 00:52:15,301
In his hand a long golden spear,
430
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:23,260
with what seemed a spark
of fire at the tip.
431
00:52:26,135 --> 00:52:27,260
And...
432
00:52:28,510 --> 00:52:32,510
he seemed to pierce
my heart over and over
433
00:52:34,010 --> 00:52:36,051
right into my entrails.
434
00:52:38,301 --> 00:52:39,801
So that when he pulled it out,
435
00:52:41,385 --> 00:52:44,635
it seemed as though he pulled
them with it
436
00:52:46,510 --> 00:52:51,385
and left me burning in
the greatest love for God.
437
00:52:56,801 --> 00:52:58,676
So terrible was the pain
438
00:53:00,051 --> 00:53:02,176
that I moaned aloud,
439
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:09,135
and so great its sweetness
440
00:53:10,385 --> 00:53:12,510
that I could never wish it to stop.
441
00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:19,801
It was not a physical pain
442
00:53:21,551 --> 00:53:23,135
but a spiritual one,
443
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:29,635
although somehow
my body was part of it too.
444
00:53:37,635 --> 00:53:40,385
It was the sweetest of caresses
445
00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:43,760
between the soul and God,
446
00:53:46,010 --> 00:53:48,135
that I pray to his goodness
447
00:53:49,176 --> 00:53:52,010
that even those who think I lie
might be granted the same joy.
448
00:53:53,176 --> 00:53:56,176
"Imagination is the madwoman
of the house".
449
00:53:59,801 --> 00:54:02,051
A curious sentence of yours.
450
00:54:02,676 --> 00:54:06,426
"Imagination is the madwoman
of the house".
451
00:54:06,801 --> 00:54:10,260
As a child you read books
about knights and their adventures.
452
00:54:10,301 --> 00:54:12,426
As a child you loved fantasy.
453
00:54:13,301 --> 00:54:15,676
These visions are fantasy too.
454
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:20,135
Like so many charlatans
that I unmasked before you,
455
00:54:20,176 --> 00:54:23,301
you think no-one will dispute what you do
456
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:26,385
because what you do
is commanded by God.
457
00:54:26,426 --> 00:54:30,385
For this to be imagination is impossible
beyond all impossibilities.
458
00:54:31,010 --> 00:54:35,010
The sheer beauty of a hand
is beyond our imagination,
459
00:54:35,676 --> 00:54:38,551
nor could mere fantasy
ever paint such light.
460
00:54:38,885 --> 00:54:41,385
If no-one but you sees what you see
461
00:54:41,426 --> 00:54:43,760
and you do not know how to explain
what you see,
462
00:54:43,885 --> 00:54:45,801
I say it is pretence,
463
00:54:45,885 --> 00:54:48,260
and that your prayer is theatre,
464
00:54:48,301 --> 00:54:52,635
and theatre the silence
into which you fall after prayer.
465
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:58,510
Such forces from God,
to those who do not know them,
466
00:54:59,010 --> 00:55:01,426
are beyond understanding.
467
00:55:09,510 --> 00:55:12,385
But when sometimes
I have tried to explain,
468
00:55:13,885 --> 00:55:15,885
I was insulted and abused.
469
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,551
People in whose view
I am worth nothing,
470
00:55:21,385 --> 00:55:23,885
because God does not lead them
along this same path,
471
00:55:24,551 --> 00:55:29,135
when they hear me,
they say I lack humility,
472
00:55:31,885 --> 00:55:33,635
that I am possessed
473
00:55:35,260 --> 00:55:37,051
and they want to exorcise me.
474
00:55:38,676 --> 00:55:40,635
And what if I say that too?
475
00:55:48,635 --> 00:55:52,260
You lack humility and are possessed.
476
00:55:58,135 --> 00:56:02,260
And it is the devil fooling you
into believing you see the Lord.
477
00:56:05,510 --> 00:56:10,135
Should I believe you if you tell me
you are not here before me?
478
00:56:12,385 --> 00:56:14,635
If it is not theatre or delusion,
479
00:56:16,301 --> 00:56:17,301
then it is the devil.
480
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:45,885
Should I deny being in the presence
of he who has placed jewels
481
00:57:45,926 --> 00:57:48,426
in my hands as tokens of love,
482
00:57:48,510 --> 00:57:50,426
making me rich when I was poor?
483
00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,635
I can show these jewels,
484
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:57,676
because those who knew me before
see that my soul is different.
485
00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:03,926
"I am yours and you are mine",
he said to me.
486
00:58:06,260 --> 00:58:08,660
"Being loved, she is transformed
into the one who loves her".
487
00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:28,510
God has changed me so much
I no longer know myself.
488
00:58:36,135 --> 00:58:40,051
I have grown in my love for him.
489
00:58:41,926 --> 00:58:44,135
Even asleep I am at prayer.
490
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,260
I have seen where I must stop,
491
00:58:49,260 --> 00:58:51,051
and I seek his hand so I do not fall.
492
00:58:53,510 --> 00:58:58,885
Because he has already shown me
the chamber the devil has prepared
493
00:58:58,926 --> 00:59:00,510
for me for my sins.
494
00:59:02,385 --> 00:59:04,260
What are you talking about?
495
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,260
What devil's chamber?
496
00:59:12,385 --> 00:59:14,760
I don't know if I can put in words
what I saw.
497
00:59:18,385 --> 00:59:19,635
One night,
498
00:59:21,135 --> 00:59:22,510
while at prayer,
499
00:59:23,510 --> 00:59:28,551
I found myself,
without knowing how, in hell.
500
00:59:34,135 --> 00:59:38,635
There is no pain
like the dying of the soul.
501
01:04:12,885 --> 01:04:15,635
You have been very honest,
recounting this dark vision.
502
01:04:19,885 --> 01:04:22,051
I will reciprocate by telling you something
503
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,885
that I have dared tell no-one else.
504
01:04:29,176 --> 01:04:30,885
For seven years now,
505
01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:35,676
every night, after prayer,
506
01:04:37,010 --> 01:04:42,010
I hear voices calling me
in tongues I do not understand.
507
01:04:44,385 --> 01:04:48,176
And though I do not understand them,
I obey them.
508
01:04:52,176 --> 01:04:54,385
They command me to follow them
through the woods
509
01:04:55,051 --> 01:04:57,510
to a clearing where there is a chapel.
510
01:05:00,260 --> 01:05:02,260
But when I enter this chapel,
511
01:05:03,301 --> 01:05:05,010
there is no Holy Sacrament,
512
01:05:07,135 --> 01:05:10,885
but a library of many books.
513
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:20,760
When I touch them I see they are not
in alphabetical order,
514
01:05:21,510 --> 01:05:24,301
but arranged from Good to Evil.
515
01:05:26,260 --> 01:05:27,801
The first is the Bible.
516
01:05:31,676 --> 01:05:35,301
The last one has black pages,
burning but never consumed.
517
01:05:38,510 --> 01:05:41,635
The voices that have guided me there
push me towards this book,
518
01:05:44,676 --> 01:05:46,635
and they all speak as one,
519
01:05:48,260 --> 01:05:52,301
"Read and obey".
520
01:06:09,010 --> 01:06:10,551
Words.
521
01:06:13,801 --> 01:06:15,801
Words.
522
01:06:18,010 --> 01:06:21,510
Everything you have heard
is nothing but words.
523
01:06:22,510 --> 01:06:26,801
I have mixed three dreams
with a couple of fantasies
524
01:06:26,885 --> 01:06:31,301
like mixing onions,
with lentils and two pieces of pork fat.
525
01:06:31,385 --> 01:06:35,635
And the next time I tell it,
I'll be better prepared.
526
01:06:36,260 --> 01:06:41,885
I'll consult books which
depict the punishments of hell.
527
01:06:43,551 --> 01:06:45,885
You know those books too.
528
01:06:49,176 --> 01:06:53,885
What I have read
is nothing to what I have lived,
529
01:06:54,885 --> 01:06:56,635
nor does any image
compare to the truth.
530
01:06:58,551 --> 01:07:00,801
Whereof one cannot speak,
531
01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:04,010
thereof one must be silent.
532
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:09,176
Words are not even a shadow
of those things.
533
01:07:12,635 --> 01:07:15,885
If our tongues spoke the truth
about heaven or hell,
534
01:07:16,260 --> 01:07:18,260
they would break into pieces.
535
01:07:21,635 --> 01:07:24,426
We cannot speak of the only thing
that matters.
536
01:07:26,885 --> 01:07:29,385
Not in this language.
537
01:07:33,385 --> 01:07:36,010
We want to reach the edge of language,
538
01:07:38,635 --> 01:07:39,885
and leap
539
01:07:42,260 --> 01:07:44,176
and speak from the other side.
540
01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:48,676
But on the other side,
541
01:07:51,051 --> 01:07:53,760
for us, Teresa, there is only silence.
542
01:08:06,260 --> 01:08:08,510
Only silence.
543
01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:14,885
Silence.
544
01:08:17,051 --> 01:08:19,385
Do you not know silence?
545
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,301
When have you remained silent, Teresa?
546
01:08:23,801 --> 01:08:26,010
When have you chosen to stay quiet?
547
01:08:26,801 --> 01:08:30,426
Now you open this house and
you upset your sisters.
548
01:08:31,385 --> 01:08:35,135
They think poorly of you.
They say you offend them.
549
01:08:36,135 --> 01:08:38,135
They see now
that you have never loved them.
550
01:08:38,176 --> 01:08:40,926
The very least they ask
is you be cast into the convent prison.
551
01:08:41,010 --> 01:08:44,676
They ask me "Does she think she's better
than the rest of us who live here,
552
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:46,551
or does she do it for fame?".
553
01:08:46,635 --> 01:08:50,635
The ones who want me in prison,
they do not know me.
554
01:08:51,176 --> 01:08:53,676
I am envious
of people who live in deserts.
555
01:08:54,551 --> 01:08:57,635
Those who say I want fame,
556
01:08:57,676 --> 01:09:00,801
they condemn me without blemish.
557
01:09:03,051 --> 01:09:05,010
Although they are right in that other way.
558
01:09:07,260 --> 01:09:09,385
That I am more contemptible than many,
559
01:09:10,510 --> 01:09:13,760
and that it is not true I would know
how to live in a stricter house.
560
01:09:13,801 --> 01:09:16,135
And that you scandalise everyone!
561
01:09:23,301 --> 01:09:27,676
Trouble ye not, let nothing you dismay.
562
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:32,551
Possessing God, nothing you lack.
563
01:09:33,135 --> 01:09:35,635
Have you not heard the rising voices
564
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:37,635
of a city that speaks of nothing else?
565
01:09:38,385 --> 01:09:40,385
I have been waiting years
for this moment.
566
01:09:40,426 --> 01:09:42,801
I came here convinced
you must be punished.
567
01:09:42,885 --> 01:09:44,736
Nothing I have heard
turns me from that purpose.
568
01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:46,926
On the contrary,
I am even more persuaded.
569
01:09:48,176 --> 01:09:52,260
I know who you are, Teresa,
and which lord you serve.
570
01:09:52,301 --> 01:09:53,760
I know, like you know,
571
01:09:53,885 --> 01:09:55,885
how evil can reshape those souls
572
01:09:56,010 --> 01:09:57,635
whose own soul needs so much reform.
573
01:09:57,676 --> 01:10:00,010
I know, like you know,
you took your vows
574
01:10:00,135 --> 01:10:01,885
not out of love for God.
575
01:10:02,426 --> 01:10:03,926
After listening to you,
576
01:10:04,010 --> 01:10:06,510
I know that this house
cannot be tolerated,
577
01:10:07,176 --> 01:10:10,510
nor can your spirit be allowed
to infect others.
578
01:10:11,135 --> 01:10:12,260
After hearing you,
579
01:10:12,385 --> 01:10:15,885
my only doubt is whether to
knock down this house, or burn it,
580
01:10:16,385 --> 01:10:18,885
whether to grant you exile or death.
581
01:10:19,426 --> 01:10:22,301
You exert so much force
against a few poor women.
582
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:26,010
If a few women cause harm,
it is done to ourselves,
583
01:10:26,135 --> 01:10:28,260
not to the city, or to the world.
584
01:10:30,385 --> 01:10:33,260
I have been praying for three days,
waiting for what has to happen.
585
01:10:35,301 --> 01:10:37,986
On hearing you had reached the city,
586
01:10:38,010 --> 01:10:39,385
I said to the Lord,
587
01:10:40,635 --> 01:10:44,260
"This house is not ours,
it was built for you",
588
01:10:46,010 --> 01:10:48,135
and I asked my sisters to pray.
589
01:10:48,885 --> 01:10:52,135
With their prayers they will do more
than my intercessions can.
590
01:10:55,010 --> 01:10:57,676
For years, I have been waiting
for this moment.
591
01:11:06,635 --> 01:11:08,510
When I saw you, I felt...
592
01:11:10,635 --> 01:11:12,010
vexation.
593
01:11:14,260 --> 01:11:17,010
Then I suddenly realised
you could understand me.
594
01:11:19,510 --> 01:11:22,760
I know you are a soul with the
gift of God to know other souls.
595
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:29,135
You are like me.
596
01:11:37,051 --> 01:11:39,926
Although the provincial prelate
does not want to turn against us,
597
01:11:41,010 --> 01:11:44,760
he doesn't dare either to give
us permission to live in San José.
598
01:11:47,176 --> 01:11:49,176
But you could.
599
01:11:58,010 --> 01:12:00,135
I beg for me and for my sisters.
600
01:12:22,176 --> 01:12:24,885
You could also punish us.
601
01:12:26,510 --> 01:12:30,135
You can give us exile or death.
602
01:12:31,926 --> 01:12:34,260
But what is done cannot be undone,
603
01:12:35,510 --> 01:12:37,760
for he does not will it.
604
01:12:51,551 --> 01:12:53,760
I can be merciful too.
605
01:12:54,551 --> 01:12:56,051
If in all humility,
606
01:12:57,010 --> 01:13:01,176
you will return to the Encarnación
with words of repentance.
607
01:13:14,301 --> 01:13:16,301
I do not wish you to turn against me,
608
01:13:17,885 --> 01:13:20,926
but I will not be untruthful
to have you by my side.
609
01:13:22,885 --> 01:13:26,010
I will not cause pain
where it can be avoided,
610
01:13:26,510 --> 01:13:30,760
but I am not afraid to make enemies.
611
01:13:39,635 --> 01:13:41,635
I do not seek to please everyone,
612
01:13:44,135 --> 01:13:45,760
only him.
613
01:13:48,510 --> 01:13:51,301
My only obligation is to him.
614
01:18:23,385 --> 01:18:25,551
You confuse the will of the Lord
615
01:18:28,135 --> 01:18:29,426
with your own vanity.
616
01:18:31,510 --> 01:18:35,260
Or do you claim that the Lord
commands you to disobey your Rule?
617
01:18:43,676 --> 01:18:45,176
I claim the opposite.
618
01:18:55,801 --> 01:18:58,635
Doña Guiomar was the first
to desire the same thing.
619
01:19:00,135 --> 01:19:02,926
We wished for a house with few nuns.
620
01:19:03,010 --> 01:19:06,010
Twelve and the mother superior,
cloistered.
621
01:19:16,260 --> 01:19:17,301
Twelve?
622
01:19:18,926 --> 01:19:21,510
No more no less, twelve.
623
01:19:26,510 --> 01:19:28,426
Your arrogance is boundless.
624
01:19:31,260 --> 01:19:34,260
As it is in naming this house San José,
after the father of Christ.
625
01:19:36,010 --> 01:19:38,301
The Lord commands it to be named that.
626
01:19:42,010 --> 01:19:44,510
Those who help you,
do you tell them what you see?
627
01:19:49,301 --> 01:19:52,426
Perhaps you doubt whether
your visions are true?
628
01:19:54,051 --> 01:19:55,051
No.
629
01:19:58,010 --> 01:20:00,926
Do you agree with those
who believe prayer is possible
630
01:20:01,801 --> 01:20:03,885
only in hardship?
631
01:20:04,510 --> 01:20:06,510
The old rule stated:
632
01:20:07,510 --> 01:20:11,760
"No brother shall have possessions,
everything belongs to all,
633
01:20:12,676 --> 01:20:17,051
and what the Lord provides is shared
634
01:20:17,135 --> 01:20:19,760
according to the needs
of each and every one".
635
01:20:25,926 --> 01:20:28,926
Who has taught you, woman,
so much about rules?
636
01:20:32,635 --> 01:20:33,760
Another woman.
637
01:20:40,926 --> 01:20:42,260
A war...
638
01:20:44,176 --> 01:20:47,051
A war between the discalced
and the calced.
639
01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:49,801
Is that what you want to start?
640
01:20:49,885 --> 01:20:54,010
A war in the Church? A war in the world?
641
01:20:58,260 --> 01:21:01,301
In the Encarnación there are nuns
who pay for a larger cell,
642
01:21:01,385 --> 01:21:04,635
and servants and even slaves.
643
01:21:09,260 --> 01:21:14,760
Convent, Church, world,
they must be a house of equals.
644
01:21:15,926 --> 01:21:18,510
Did no-one teach you, woman,
to weigh your words
645
01:21:18,551 --> 01:21:20,426
before putting them into your mouth?
646
01:21:23,635 --> 01:21:28,510
Yours sound like a utopia,
a republic of women, a madness.
647
01:21:30,551 --> 01:21:33,051
Be warned that it is not only
this house you condemn,
648
01:21:33,135 --> 01:21:36,635
but also your life,
and the lives of those who follow you.
649
01:21:36,760 --> 01:21:40,260
We only wish for the Lord to offer us
a way in which we may lose our lies.
650
01:21:41,051 --> 01:21:43,051
Everything is gained
in losing everything for him.
651
01:21:43,635 --> 01:21:46,135
"Everything is gained
in losing everything for him".
652
01:21:46,510 --> 01:21:48,260
"I die because I do not die".
653
01:21:51,510 --> 01:21:55,551
You love paradoxes,
like all those who twist their words.
654
01:21:57,885 --> 01:22:02,260
Your writings are full of them,
and coded images.
655
01:22:02,385 --> 01:22:06,051
"Diamond castle", "Seven mansions",
"The madwoman of the house".
656
01:22:06,635 --> 01:22:07,885
I am a hunter.
657
01:22:08,010 --> 01:22:11,176
I was taught to tell the friend
from the foe behind the words.
658
01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:12,135
Your words,
659
01:22:12,260 --> 01:22:15,635
which hide more than they say,
will not confuse me.
660
01:22:15,676 --> 01:22:17,510
They are dictated by the devil,
661
01:22:17,635 --> 01:22:19,885
for they are beyond
the measure of a woman.
662
01:22:19,926 --> 01:22:24,176
No matter how little women do,
it is judged beyond us.
663
01:22:24,801 --> 01:22:28,010
And anything a woman does well
brings her under suspicion.
664
01:22:28,385 --> 01:22:31,176
"Women's nonsense",
people are quick to say.
665
01:22:31,260 --> 01:22:37,051
The world has us cornered,
butterflies bound in chains.
666
01:22:38,676 --> 01:22:40,926
But the Lord makes an illiterate girl
667
01:22:41,010 --> 01:22:43,260
wiser than the most learned bishop.
668
01:22:44,510 --> 01:22:47,010
Although we lack the freedom to shout,
669
01:22:47,135 --> 01:22:50,135
we will not stop speaking our truths.
670
01:22:50,176 --> 01:22:51,885
Even in a whisper.
671
01:22:51,926 --> 01:22:54,885
Being cloistered means no-one
from outside sees
672
01:22:55,010 --> 01:22:57,260
and no-one from outside hears!
673
01:23:01,635 --> 01:23:04,551
What words are said behind these walls?
674
01:23:05,635 --> 01:23:07,135
What words are read?
675
01:23:09,135 --> 01:23:11,510
I will not permit this small house
676
01:23:11,635 --> 01:23:13,551
to give rise to a great schism.
677
01:23:15,010 --> 01:23:19,385
I have learnt that subversion
often masquerades as the mystical.
678
01:23:19,885 --> 01:23:22,135
Disorder is often called the spiritual.
679
01:23:24,051 --> 01:23:28,260
Often the spiritual is called disorder.
680
01:23:30,635 --> 01:23:32,010
Open your cell for me.
681
01:23:32,635 --> 01:23:36,510
In this house each cell is sacred, unique.
682
01:23:39,010 --> 01:23:40,551
Open it.
683
01:23:59,301 --> 01:24:01,301
Are all these your papers?
684
01:24:04,926 --> 01:24:07,010
It has become custom
among people of the Church
685
01:24:07,051 --> 01:24:10,135
to hide writings in case
they are taken for examination.
686
01:24:11,135 --> 01:24:13,010
That is not my custom.
687
01:24:25,510 --> 01:24:29,385
- Is this your writing?
- You know it is.
688
01:24:41,510 --> 01:24:46,801
"Silent prayer is to be alone
in friendship with he who loves us".
689
01:24:49,135 --> 01:24:53,051
A book about silent prayer.
This is what you are writing?
690
01:24:54,676 --> 01:24:56,885
Is this the guide for the new convent?
691
01:24:56,926 --> 01:24:59,010
Is this the guide to your reform?
692
01:24:59,885 --> 01:25:02,510
Speech is not enough for you.
You love writing.
693
01:25:03,176 --> 01:25:05,635
I will write for as long as my hand
can hold a quill.
694
01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:11,885
Bartolomé de Carranza
preached silent prayer
695
01:25:11,926 --> 01:25:13,926
and direct communication with God.
696
01:25:14,010 --> 01:25:16,385
He insisted on translating the Bible
into everyday speech
697
01:25:16,510 --> 01:25:18,010
so that women could read it.
698
01:25:18,760 --> 01:25:22,135
His trial was so notorious
you must have heard of it.
699
01:25:22,635 --> 01:25:24,801
Being Bishop of Toledo
did not protect him.
700
01:25:24,885 --> 01:25:27,635
Nor Agustín Cazalla, though he was
confessor to the king.
701
01:25:28,135 --> 01:25:31,676
Nor did they fear death,
until they saw it close up.
702
01:25:45,885 --> 01:25:46,926
If you,
703
01:25:47,760 --> 01:25:49,510
along with those who are with you,
704
01:25:50,551 --> 01:25:52,551
return now to the Encarnación,
705
01:25:56,260 --> 01:25:57,760
I will ensure you are accepted
706
01:26:00,051 --> 01:26:01,651
and what has happened will be forgotten.
707
01:26:23,551 --> 01:26:27,260
What has happened must
never be forgotten.
708
01:26:43,176 --> 01:26:44,760
If he wills it,
709
01:26:46,051 --> 01:26:48,385
I shall live here for the rest of my days.
710
01:26:50,551 --> 01:26:52,010
It is my sole desire.
711
01:26:54,385 --> 01:26:56,635
To be alone with him.
712
01:27:00,010 --> 01:27:02,010
And if he commands it,
713
01:27:02,051 --> 01:27:04,510
I shall go out and found more houses,
714
01:27:06,260 --> 01:27:08,385
and I shall go out into the world.
715
01:27:09,885 --> 01:27:13,236
And the world,
when He commands me to go,
716
01:27:13,260 --> 01:27:14,635
will seem small.
717
01:27:17,801 --> 01:27:23,010
There will be burning sun
and freezing ice on the way,
718
01:27:25,051 --> 01:27:26,551
but he will walk with me.
719
01:29:04,551 --> 01:29:07,260
That is the strength of this small woman.
720
01:29:23,760 --> 01:29:28,010
"For then we see through a glass, darkly,"
721
01:29:29,760 --> 01:29:32,135
but then face to face",
722
01:29:33,801 --> 01:29:35,010
said St Paul.
723
01:29:36,010 --> 01:29:40,635
"For then we see through a glass",
that is, the wrong way round.
724
01:29:41,801 --> 01:29:44,426
"But then face to face",
725
01:29:46,343 --> 01:29:49,343
that is, the truth.
726
01:29:52,051 --> 01:29:53,926
What shall we do meanwhile?
727
01:29:55,051 --> 01:29:58,718
"For then we see through a glass, darkly,
728
01:29:59,593 --> 01:30:01,760
but then face to face".
729
01:30:06,260 --> 01:30:10,510
Maybe what is small is an image
of what is great?
730
01:30:13,968 --> 01:30:17,551
Or what is great is smaller in the mirror?
731
01:30:20,093 --> 01:30:22,301
Maybe the abyss that we call world
732
01:30:23,885 --> 01:30:26,051
is the abyss of our soul,
733
01:30:27,343 --> 01:30:30,926
or our souls mirror other worlds?
734
01:30:33,510 --> 01:30:36,843
Maybe our tongues
are only pieces of a broken mirror
735
01:30:40,343 --> 01:30:43,176
which reflects a tongue
we have forgotten?
736
01:30:50,301 --> 01:30:52,260
Do you never have doubts, Teresa?
737
01:30:58,676 --> 01:31:00,176
I know you doubt.
738
01:31:22,926 --> 01:31:25,301
Such sadness beneath that smile.
739
01:31:28,926 --> 01:31:33,510
Such fear of life
beneath this yearning for death.
740
01:31:35,301 --> 01:31:37,301
Such fear of that body
741
01:31:38,926 --> 01:31:42,635
that you seek to imprison and shroud.
742
01:31:45,135 --> 01:31:49,426
Such fear of the world and of yourself
743
01:31:50,426 --> 01:31:53,676
beneath your desire for a God
who talks constantly to you.
744
01:31:57,760 --> 01:32:00,426
My God is far away and silent,
745
01:32:04,010 --> 01:32:05,635
but I swear I do not envy you.
746
01:32:07,760 --> 01:32:12,051
Ask me who I am and I can tell you.
747
01:32:16,051 --> 01:32:18,135
You do not know who you are, Teresa.
748
01:32:21,176 --> 01:32:25,260
Nor do you need punishment,
because you have never left hell.
749
01:32:29,426 --> 01:32:31,676
I will ensure there is no other
punishment for you.
750
01:32:38,135 --> 01:32:39,676
As for this house,
751
01:32:42,635 --> 01:32:43,926
I will see it isn't closed.
752
01:32:46,051 --> 01:32:47,385
I know that, one by one,
753
01:32:47,510 --> 01:32:51,760
the sisters with you today
will soon depart.
754
01:32:53,801 --> 01:32:56,635
They will leave you alone
with your little God.
755
01:33:02,760 --> 01:33:04,176
You will die alone.
756
01:33:17,343 --> 01:33:18,801
If I have doubts, you say.
757
01:33:21,676 --> 01:33:23,093
I doubt at every moment.
758
01:33:30,051 --> 01:33:33,426
If I look at this house,
I am happy to have made him happy.
759
01:33:34,926 --> 01:33:39,551
But the devil follows on quickly
to disturb this peace.
760
01:33:42,176 --> 01:33:43,176
He laughs and says,
761
01:33:43,301 --> 01:33:47,593
it has all been a trick to steal my soul.
762
01:33:56,051 --> 01:34:00,551
Years of prayer are stolen
by my enemy in a single breath.
763
01:34:04,218 --> 01:34:06,051
Faith is suspended
764
01:34:06,176 --> 01:34:09,051
and I am left without strength
to defend myself from his blows,
765
01:34:10,593 --> 01:34:14,801
and, in my soul,
from the deepest darkness.
766
01:34:16,676 --> 01:34:18,760
Such is this life of misery.
767
01:34:38,385 --> 01:34:40,760
There is no happiness without mutability.
768
01:34:49,385 --> 01:34:51,926
I will not change for anyone
and suddenly
769
01:34:52,260 --> 01:34:54,676
I no longer know not what to
do with myself.
770
01:34:57,135 --> 01:35:00,926
The only one who can save me
is hidden from me.
771
01:35:02,885 --> 01:35:04,736
Where are you?
772
01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:06,176
I cry out.
773
01:35:08,135 --> 01:35:09,885
Why have you left me alone?
774
01:35:12,260 --> 01:35:14,510
Or was I always alone?
775
01:35:18,551 --> 01:35:22,676
Who am I, if I was always alone?
776
01:35:32,510 --> 01:35:33,676
Yes, I have doubts.
777
01:35:36,135 --> 01:35:37,885
I doubt every moment.
778
01:35:42,010 --> 01:35:45,010
But the angel of good always
always conquers the angel of evil.
779
01:35:46,760 --> 01:35:49,676
With the dart of fire
that pierces my heart.
780
01:35:51,760 --> 01:35:54,010
It is a breaking, a wound...
781
01:35:55,676 --> 01:35:57,135
It is great pain,
782
01:35:58,385 --> 01:36:03,510
but so sweet there is no pleasure
that gives more joy.
783
01:36:05,551 --> 01:36:08,385
The pain is so sharp it cuts the body.
784
01:36:09,385 --> 01:36:13,760
And the tongue in pieces
refuses to utter words.
785
01:36:15,801 --> 01:36:20,385
It can only moan and whimper.
786
01:36:23,760 --> 01:36:25,801
The tongue is in pieces
787
01:36:29,135 --> 01:36:31,760
and it is only love that speaks.
788
01:36:37,926 --> 01:36:40,010
But no-one can speak of this.
789
01:36:42,260 --> 01:36:44,551
It is better...
790
01:36:45,385 --> 01:36:46,926
to say nothing.
57875
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