All language subtitles for Robot Chicken - S05E15 - The Godfather of the Bride II (1080p x265a EDGE2020).eng
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Webvtt
X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000
00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:08.942 line:10% position:35% size:50%
[ thunder crashing ]
00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.877 line:10% position:35% size:50%
[ drilling, sawing ]
00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:18.051 line:10% position:43% size:63%
[ electricity crackling ]
00:00:18.118 --> 00:00:19.886 line:10% position:28% size:35%
>> it's alive!
00:00:39.706 --> 00:00:42.075 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
[ richard strauss's "Also sprach
Zarathustra" plays ]
00:00:42.142 --> 00:00:44.411 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ clanking ]
00:00:54.053 --> 00:00:55.221 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> well, sell the derivatives
00:00:55.288 --> 00:00:56.990 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
From the german account, not
From the --
00:00:57.056 --> 00:00:57.991 line:85% position:20% size:20%
[ beep ]
00:00:58.057 --> 00:00:59.359 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
Oh, hey, doug, my cellphone's
About to go --
00:00:59.426 --> 00:00:59.826 line:85% position:20% size:20%
[ beep ]
00:00:59.893 --> 00:01:02.996 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Oh [bleep]
00:01:03.062 --> 00:01:04.764 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Wharoo!
00:01:04.831 --> 00:01:07.100 line:85% position:35% size:48%
[ panting ] Wharoo!
00:01:07.167 --> 00:01:08.501 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Wharoo!
00:01:08.568 --> 00:01:09.502 line:85% position:30% size:38%
[ bell chimes ]
00:01:09.569 --> 00:01:11.171 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> all those things I can do,
00:01:11.237 --> 00:01:13.006 line:85% position:50% size:80%
All those powers, and I couldn't
00:01:13.072 --> 00:01:17.043 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Even save him.
00:01:17.110 --> 00:01:18.445 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> huh.
00:01:18.511 --> 00:01:19.646 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Guess I shouldn't have doubled
00:01:19.712 --> 00:01:20.847 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Down on that kfc double down.
00:01:20.914 --> 00:01:21.815 line:85% position:35% size:48%
[ rapid heartbeat ]
00:01:21.881 --> 00:01:22.916 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Hmm.
00:01:22.982 --> 00:01:24.818 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ groans ]
00:01:24.884 --> 00:01:26.619 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> pa!
00:01:26.686 --> 00:01:28.021 line:10% position:33% size:43%
[ gasps ] Oh, no!
00:01:28.087 --> 00:01:29.956 line:10% position:23% size:25%
Uh...Uh...
00:01:33.793 --> 00:01:34.861 line:10% position:30% size:38%
Whoa! Not good!
00:01:34.928 --> 00:01:35.628 line:10% position:23% size:23%
Not good!
00:01:35.695 --> 00:01:37.163 line:10% position:38% size:55%
Um...Oh, compressions!
00:01:37.230 --> 00:01:39.466 line:10% position:43% size:63%
Maybe start compressions.
00:01:39.532 --> 00:01:40.800 line:10% position:28% size:33%
>> [ groans ]
00:01:40.867 --> 00:01:42.602 line:10% position:38% size:55%
>> [ inhales sharply ]
00:01:42.669 --> 00:01:43.970 line:10% position:35% size:50%
Oh, if I can just...
00:01:44.037 --> 00:01:45.038 line:10% position:25% size:28%
Sorry, dad.
00:01:45.104 --> 00:01:45.972 line:10% position:30% size:38%
Just -- oh, no!
00:01:46.039 --> 00:01:47.440 line:10% position:45% size:68%
Uh, sparky, come back here!
00:01:47.507 --> 00:01:49.108 line:10% position:23% size:25%
Sorry, pa.
00:01:50.543 --> 00:01:51.845 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> doctor [inhales sharply]
00:01:51.911 --> 00:01:52.946 line:85% position:38% size:55%
My penis doesn't work.
00:01:53.012 --> 00:01:53.947 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> what do you mean?
00:01:54.013 --> 00:01:55.381 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Like it won't go "Wee-wee-wee"
00:01:55.448 --> 00:01:56.149 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Or it won't go
00:01:56.216 --> 00:02:01.221 line:85% position:38% size:53%
"Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!"?
00:02:01.287 --> 00:02:02.655 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> hmm.
00:02:02.722 --> 00:02:04.123 line:85% position:35% size:48%
[ rap music plays ]
00:02:04.190 --> 00:02:05.091 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> ♪ oats ♪
00:02:05.158 --> 00:02:06.860 line:85% position:50% size:78%
♪ oats, oats, oats, oats, oats,
00:02:06.926 --> 00:02:08.361 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Oats, oats-oats-oats-oats oats
00:02:08.428 --> 00:02:09.062 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Oats-oats ♪
00:02:09.128 --> 00:02:10.163 line:85% position:35% size:48%
♪ oats, oats, oats,
00:02:10.230 --> 00:02:11.798 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Oats-oats-oats oats, oats ♪
00:02:11.865 --> 00:02:15.101 line:85% position:50% size:80%
♪ oats, oats, oats, oats, oats ♪
00:02:15.168 --> 00:02:16.870 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> ♪ we've only got one life ♪
00:02:16.936 --> 00:02:17.470 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> oats!
00:02:17.537 --> 00:02:18.538 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> ♪ we've got to
00:02:18.605 --> 00:02:19.439 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Live it right ♪
00:02:19.506 --> 00:02:20.306 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> ♪ oats, oats ♪
00:02:20.373 --> 00:02:21.941 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> ♪ throw up your hands, keep
00:02:22.008 --> 00:02:23.977 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Reachin' for the spotlight ♪
00:02:24.043 --> 00:02:25.445 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> ♪ whoa ♪
00:02:25.512 --> 00:02:26.813 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> ♪ baby, you're a king,
00:02:26.880 --> 00:02:28.681 line:85% position:35% size:50%
You're a superstar ♪
00:02:28.748 --> 00:02:29.749 line:85% position:35% size:50%
♪ baby, just show me
00:02:29.816 --> 00:02:30.717 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Where the oats are ♪
00:02:30.783 --> 00:02:31.217 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> oats!
00:02:31.284 --> 00:02:32.252 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> ♪ oats are ♪
00:02:32.318 --> 00:02:32.986 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> oats!
00:02:33.052 --> 00:02:34.721 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> ♪ oats, oats, oats, oats,
00:02:34.787 --> 00:02:36.055 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Oats, oats-oats-oats-oats
00:02:36.122 --> 00:02:37.056 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Oats, oats-oats ♪
00:02:37.123 --> 00:02:39.125 line:85% position:50% size:78%
♪ oats, oats, oats, oats, oats,
00:02:39.192 --> 00:02:39.692 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Oats ♪
00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:40.426 line:85% position:35% size:48%
♪ oats, oats, oats,
00:02:40.493 --> 00:02:41.461 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Oats-oats-oats-oats ♪
00:02:41.528 --> 00:02:43.463 line:85% position:43% size:65%
♪ oats, oats, oats, oats ♪
00:02:43.530 --> 00:02:44.497 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> now, rihanna, we're gonna
00:02:44.564 --> 00:02:45.164 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Learn to canter.
00:02:45.231 --> 00:02:46.232 line:85% position:45% size:70%
You'll need to know this for
00:02:46.299 --> 00:02:46.866 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Your new video.
00:02:46.933 --> 00:02:47.667 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> I changed my mind.
00:02:47.734 --> 00:02:48.601 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Horses are dumb as hell.
00:02:48.668 --> 00:02:49.669 line:85% position:48% size:73%
I don't want my video to have
00:02:49.736 --> 00:02:50.570 line:85% position:40% size:58%
A dumb-ass horse in it.
00:02:50.637 --> 00:02:51.371 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> [ gasps ]
00:02:51.437 --> 00:02:52.071 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ crunch! ]
00:02:52.138 --> 00:02:52.872 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> oh, man!
00:02:52.939 --> 00:02:54.240 line:85% position:43% size:65%
My neck! My legs! My feet!
00:02:54.307 --> 00:02:55.808 line:85% position:50% size:78%
My arms! I can't feel anything!
00:02:55.875 --> 00:02:57.043 line:85% position:40% size:58%
My [bleep] Body's numb!
00:02:57.110 --> 00:02:59.279 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> ♪ oats, oats, oats, oats,
00:02:59.345 --> 00:03:01.047 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Oats, oats-oats oats oats... ♪
00:03:01.114 --> 00:03:02.982 line:85% position:45% size:68%
[ mid-tempo music playing ]
00:03:37.650 --> 00:03:39.185 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> "Twilight" the game!
00:03:39.252 --> 00:03:41.154 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Raaaaaaaaaargh!
00:03:41.220 --> 00:03:42.622 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>>
approaching bank robbers in
00:03:42.689 --> 00:03:44.057 line:85% position:45% size:70%
their getaway tank, michael.
00:03:44.123 --> 00:03:45.491 line:85% position:45% size:70%
I recommend jumping over it.
00:03:45.558 --> 00:03:46.559 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> I love you, kitt!
00:03:46.626 --> 00:03:48.061 line:85% position:48% size:73%
[
explosions, tires screech ]
00:03:48.127 --> 00:03:49.162 line:85% position:35% size:48%
[
people cheering ]
00:03:49.228 --> 00:03:50.530 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>>
we saved that busload of
00:03:50.597 --> 00:03:52.131 line:85% position:50% size:78%
nuns, kitt, by jumping over it.
00:03:52.198 --> 00:03:54.334 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> I love you, michael knight!
00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:55.602 line:85% position:30% size:40%
[ tv shuts off ]
00:03:55.668 --> 00:03:57.370 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Man, I wish you were real, kitt.
00:03:57.437 --> 00:03:58.671 line:85% position:38% size:55%
We'd have some awesome
00:03:58.738 --> 00:03:59.439 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Adventures.
00:03:59.505 --> 00:04:00.106 line:85% position:23% size:23%
[ yawns ]
00:04:00.173 --> 00:04:02.508 line:85% position:45% size:70%
We'd fight all my enemies...
00:04:02.575 --> 00:04:04.510 line:85% position:30% size:40%
And murder them.
00:04:04.577 --> 00:04:06.279 line:85% position:20% size:20%
So cool.
00:04:06.346 --> 00:04:08.948 line:85% position:23% size:25%
So...Cool.
00:04:09.015 --> 00:04:10.249 line:85% position:30% size:38%
[ engine revs ]
00:04:10.316 --> 00:04:11.551 line:85% position:28% size:35%
[ gasps ] Wow!
00:04:11.618 --> 00:04:12.785 line:85% position:33% size:43%
I'm knight rider!
00:04:12.852 --> 00:04:14.420 line:85% position:45% size:68%
I'm knight ri-- aww, wait a
00:04:14.487 --> 00:04:15.188 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Minute.
00:04:15.254 --> 00:04:16.956 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Oh, you're that crappy kitt from
00:04:17.023 --> 00:04:18.558 line:85% position:43% size:65%
That crappy "Knight rider"
00:04:18.625 --> 00:04:20.360 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Remake from a few crappy years
00:04:20.426 --> 00:04:20.960 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Ago!
00:04:21.027 --> 00:04:22.228 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> greetings, michael.
00:04:22.295 --> 00:04:23.763 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Let's go on an adventure.
00:04:23.830 --> 00:04:25.832 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> no, no, no, no, no!
00:04:25.898 --> 00:04:27.233 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Wake me up right now!
00:04:27.300 --> 00:04:30.336 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> please stop.
00:04:30.403 --> 00:04:31.137 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> wake me up!
00:04:31.204 --> 00:04:31.971 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> please stop.
00:04:32.038 --> 00:04:32.972 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> no! Let me out!
00:04:33.039 --> 00:04:33.640 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> michael.
00:04:33.706 --> 00:04:34.941 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> no, no, no! Let me out!
00:04:35.008 --> 00:04:36.175 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> please stop. Michael.
00:04:36.242 --> 00:04:37.243 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> no! You suck ass!
00:04:37.310 --> 00:04:38.711 line:85% position:48% size:75%
All you did in the whole pilot
00:04:38.778 --> 00:04:40.146 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Episode was drive extra fast!
00:04:40.213 --> 00:04:41.781 line:85% position:28% size:35%
It was boring!
00:04:41.848 --> 00:04:43.349 line:85% position:38% size:55%
[ crying ] Let me out!
00:04:43.416 --> 00:04:44.017 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> fine.
00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:45.685 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Hope you like ejector seats.
00:04:45.752 --> 00:04:48.121 line:85% position:35% size:50%
[ beeping, buzzing ]
00:04:48.187 --> 00:04:51.124 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
I don't seem to have an ejector
Seat.
00:04:51.190 --> 00:04:52.091 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> boring!
00:04:52.158 --> 00:04:53.459 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> "Knight rider."
00:04:53.526 --> 00:04:55.028 line:85% position:35% size:48%
A shadowy flight --
00:04:55.094 --> 00:04:56.462 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> go die, please.
00:04:56.529 --> 00:04:57.797 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> aww.
00:04:57.864 --> 00:04:58.898 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> having a bad day?
00:04:58.965 --> 00:05:00.566 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> my stupid dream has the wrong
00:05:00.633 --> 00:05:01.801 line:85% position:43% size:63%
"Knight rider" car in it.
00:05:01.868 --> 00:05:03.102 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> oh. What'll it be?
00:05:03.169 --> 00:05:06.105 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> hey...Can I have lobster with
Lots of butter sauce and oreo
00:05:06.172 --> 00:05:08.675 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
Ice cream served on a cookie the
Size of my head?
00:05:08.741 --> 00:05:09.375 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Mmm!
00:05:09.442 --> 00:05:10.510 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> uh...We don't have that.
00:05:10.576 --> 00:05:12.278 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> but...This is a dream!
00:05:12.345 --> 00:05:13.513 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> yeah, but we kind of blew our
00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:15.148 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Budget on that.
00:05:15.214 --> 00:05:16.349 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> greetings, michael.
00:05:16.416 --> 00:05:17.884 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> damn it!
00:05:17.950 --> 00:05:19.052 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> welcome back, michael.
00:05:19.118 --> 00:05:20.353 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> [ sighs ] Hi, val kilmer.
00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:22.121 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> shall I turn into a pickup
Truck?
00:05:22.188 --> 00:05:22.855 line:85% position:28% size:35%
I can do that.
00:05:22.922 --> 00:05:24.023 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> [ sarcastically ] Wow.
00:05:24.090 --> 00:05:25.324 line:85% position:45% size:70%
One of your amazing features
00:05:25.391 --> 00:05:26.159 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Is hauling cargo.
00:05:26.225 --> 00:05:27.460 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> I can also turn from this
00:05:27.527 --> 00:05:29.796 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Kind of mustang into another
00:05:29.862 --> 00:05:30.930 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Kind of mustang.
00:05:30.997 --> 00:05:32.065 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> ugh, do whatever.
00:05:32.131 --> 00:05:33.366 line:85% position:40% size:60%
I'm going to take a nap.
00:05:33.433 --> 00:05:35.468 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> you can't take a nap in a
Dream!
00:05:35.535 --> 00:05:36.302 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> of course you can.
00:05:36.369 --> 00:05:37.403 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Didn't you see inception?
00:05:37.470 --> 00:05:38.705 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Only 100 million people saw it.
00:05:38.771 --> 00:05:39.439 line:85% position:30% size:38%
It was so cool.
00:05:39.505 --> 00:05:41.974 line:85% position:38% size:55%
[ yawning ] So...Cool.
00:05:42.041 --> 00:05:43.109 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Oh, my gosh!
00:05:43.176 --> 00:05:44.243 line:85% position:38% size:53%
I'm in the real kitt!
00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:45.712 line:85% position:48% size:73%
You're the real knight rider!
00:05:45.778 --> 00:05:47.680 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> are you ready to [bleep] Do
This?
00:05:47.747 --> 00:05:48.448 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> hell, yes!
00:05:48.514 --> 00:05:49.882 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> press my turbo boost button.
00:05:49.949 --> 00:05:51.551 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> I will!
00:05:51.617 --> 00:05:54.287 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Yeah!!
00:05:54.353 --> 00:05:56.589 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Yeah!!
00:05:56.656 --> 00:05:57.824 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:05:57.890 --> 00:05:59.258 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:05:59.325 --> 00:06:00.293 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:00.359 --> 00:06:01.828 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:01.894 --> 00:06:02.862 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:02.929 --> 00:06:04.097 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:04.163 --> 00:06:04.931 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:04.997 --> 00:06:05.865 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:05.932 --> 00:06:06.833 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:06.899 --> 00:06:07.867 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Yeah!
00:06:07.934 --> 00:06:09.368 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
00:06:09.435 --> 00:06:11.637 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Yeah!!
00:06:11.704 --> 00:06:14.607 line:85% position:35% size:50%
[ people screaming ]
00:06:14.674 --> 00:06:17.343 line:85% position:38% size:55%
I love you, real kitt.
00:06:17.410 --> 00:06:19.312 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> oh. Ouch.
00:06:19.378 --> 00:06:21.013 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> [bleep] You, val kilmer.
00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:21.714 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> swat your balls?
00:06:21.781 --> 00:06:22.548 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Get a good ball swatting.
00:06:22.615 --> 00:06:23.483 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Who doesn't want their balls
00:06:23.549 --> 00:06:24.183 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Swatted?
00:06:24.250 --> 00:06:24.784 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Come on, why don't you take
00:06:24.851 --> 00:06:25.585 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Those pants right down?
00:06:25.651 --> 00:06:26.486 line:85% position:45% size:68%
There you go, there you go.
00:06:26.552 --> 00:06:28.054 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Let me swat those balls!
00:06:28.121 --> 00:06:29.322 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> may this golden spike
00:06:29.388 --> 00:06:30.690 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Symbolize the power of the
00:06:30.757 --> 00:06:32.024 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Railroad, which will last
00:06:32.091 --> 00:06:32.692 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Forever!
00:06:32.759 --> 00:06:33.960 line:85% position:43% size:65%
At least until people stop
00:06:34.026 --> 00:06:35.528 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Giving a [bleep] About trains,
00:06:35.595 --> 00:06:36.896 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Which I predict will never
00:06:36.963 --> 00:06:37.597 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Happen!
00:06:37.663 --> 00:06:38.831 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> today, that golden spike
00:06:38.898 --> 00:06:40.199 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Resides at the who gives a
00:06:40.266 --> 00:06:41.834 line:85% position:50% size:80%
[bleep] Museum, located directly
00:06:41.901 --> 00:06:43.736 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Up my ass.
00:06:43.803 --> 00:06:46.806 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> decepticons! Attack!
00:06:50.643 --> 00:06:52.512 line:85% position:18% size:13%
What?
00:06:57.183 --> 00:06:58.217 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> ♪ mr. Mouth ♪
00:06:58.284 --> 00:06:59.685 line:85% position:43% size:65%
♪ open, close your mouth ♪
00:06:59.752 --> 00:07:01.721 line:85% position:45% size:68%
♪ got a real pretty mouth ♪
00:07:01.788 --> 00:07:03.756 line:85% position:35% size:48%
♪ like your mouth ♪
00:07:03.823 --> 00:07:05.091 line:85% position:43% size:65%
♪ maybe I'll just take you
00:07:05.158 --> 00:07:07.493 line:85% position:33% size:43%
In another room ♪
00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.195 line:85% position:45% size:70%
♪ let's have a date in here,
00:07:09.262 --> 00:07:10.530 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Mr. Mouth ♪
00:07:10.596 --> 00:07:12.198 line:85% position:35% size:50%
♪ gonna have a party
00:07:12.265 --> 00:07:14.133 line:85% position:35% size:48%
Inside your mouth ♪
00:07:14.200 --> 00:07:14.867 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> hello, spock.
00:07:14.934 --> 00:07:15.668 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Nice to meet you.
00:07:15.735 --> 00:07:16.869 line:85% position:48% size:73%
I'm you, 30 years older, from
00:07:16.936 --> 00:07:17.503 line:85% position:25% size:28%
The future.
00:07:17.570 --> 00:07:18.471 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> how did you get here?
00:07:18.538 --> 00:07:19.472 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> through a black hole.
00:07:19.539 --> 00:07:20.606 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Listen, in 10 years, you'll
00:07:20.673 --> 00:07:21.808 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Fight against an evil klingon
00:07:21.874 --> 00:07:22.441 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Named klorg.
00:07:22.508 --> 00:07:23.209 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> all right.
00:07:23.276 --> 00:07:24.343 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> and he'll swing his bat'leth
00:07:24.410 --> 00:07:24.977 line:85% position:28% size:33%
To the right.
00:07:25.044 --> 00:07:26.078 line:85% position:43% size:65%
So dodge left and you will
00:07:26.145 --> 00:07:27.246 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Avoid spending a week in the
00:07:27.313 --> 00:07:27.747 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Hospital.
00:07:27.814 --> 00:07:28.514 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> oh, thank you.
00:07:28.581 --> 00:07:29.749 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> oh, and also in about seven
00:07:29.816 --> 00:07:31.050 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Years, dj zumura will release a
00:07:31.117 --> 00:07:32.218 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Greatest hits album and it's
00:07:32.285 --> 00:07:33.152 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Awesome, so you should
00:07:33.219 --> 00:07:34.053 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Definitely get that.
00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:34.754 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> okay.
00:07:34.821 --> 00:07:35.655 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> but then two years after
00:07:35.721 --> 00:07:36.956 line:85% position:50% size:80%
That, they're going to release a
00:07:37.023 --> 00:07:38.257 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Dj zumura compilation album, and
00:07:38.324 --> 00:07:39.492 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Even though it has a different
00:07:39.559 --> 00:07:40.593 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Cover, it has all the same
00:07:40.660 --> 00:07:41.594 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Songs, so don't buy it.
00:07:41.661 --> 00:07:42.328 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> all right.
00:07:42.395 --> 00:07:43.429 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Not life-threatening, per se,
00:07:43.496 --> 00:07:44.230 line:85% position:33% size:43%
But good to know.
00:07:44.297 --> 00:07:45.498 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> do not go down that hallway.
00:07:45.565 --> 00:07:46.265 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> who are you?
00:07:46.332 --> 00:07:47.466 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> I'm you, five minutes in the
00:07:47.533 --> 00:07:48.234 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Future.
00:07:48.301 --> 00:07:49.168 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Three minutes from now, kirk is
00:07:49.235 --> 00:07:50.503 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Gonna drop a monumental deuce in
00:07:50.570 --> 00:07:51.404 line:85% position:38% size:53%
The hallway bathroom.
00:07:51.470 --> 00:07:52.171 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> sure.
00:07:52.238 --> 00:07:53.406 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> and it's gonna smell really,
00:07:53.472 --> 00:07:54.106 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Really bad.
00:07:54.173 --> 00:07:54.807 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Trust me.
00:07:54.874 --> 00:07:56.075 line:85% position:45% size:68%
So, just maybe take another
00:07:56.142 --> 00:07:56.642 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Hallway.
00:07:56.709 --> 00:07:57.476 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> okay, thanks.
00:07:57.543 --> 00:07:58.144 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> spock.
00:07:58.211 --> 00:07:59.278 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> who are you, my sister?
00:07:59.345 --> 00:08:00.346 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> no, I'm you, spock.
00:08:00.413 --> 00:08:01.781 line:85% position:50% size:80%
One night 12 years from now, you
00:08:01.848 --> 00:08:03.282 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Have one too many zingaro shots,
00:08:03.349 --> 00:08:05.151 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
Lose a bet, and get a sex
Change.
00:08:05.218 --> 00:08:06.185 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> why is old spock a man?
00:08:06.252 --> 00:08:07.119 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> I changed back.
00:08:07.186 --> 00:08:08.421 line:85% position:45% size:70%
There are some problems with
00:08:08.487 --> 00:08:09.455 line:85% position:38% size:55%
The equipment, though.
00:08:09.522 --> 00:08:10.323 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Not going to lie.
00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:11.090 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> hey, spock.
00:08:11.157 --> 00:08:11.991 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> don't tell me.
00:08:12.058 --> 00:08:13.426 line:85% position:50% size:78%
You're me, from the future, but
00:08:13.492 --> 00:08:14.493 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Somehow I turn into an
00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:15.528 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Overweight black guy.
00:08:15.595 --> 00:08:16.896 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> uh, no, I'm ernie.
00:08:16.963 --> 00:08:18.731 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Just heading down the hallway.
00:08:18.798 --> 00:08:20.132 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Live long and bite me.
00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:21.500 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Damn, someone set their phaser
00:08:21.567 --> 00:08:22.435 line:85% position:35% size:48%
To stank back here!
00:08:22.501 --> 00:08:23.469 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> I don't understand.
00:08:23.536 --> 00:08:24.837 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Why are all you spocks meeting
00:08:24.904 --> 00:08:25.972 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Me at this exact moment?
00:08:26.038 --> 00:08:27.206 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> didn't you get the note?
00:08:27.273 --> 00:08:28.441 line:85% position:43% size:65%
It's all of our birthdays.
00:08:28.507 --> 00:08:29.609 line:85% position:43% size:63%
We're throwing a surprise
00:08:29.675 --> 00:08:31.644 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
Birthday party for super-old
Spock.
00:08:31.711 --> 00:08:32.645 line:85% position:50% size:78%
He turns 2,000 years old today,
00:08:32.712 --> 00:08:33.980 line:85% position:48% size:75%
And this was the best place we
00:08:34.046 --> 00:08:34.881 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Could all meet up.
00:08:34.947 --> 00:08:36.015 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Are all the other spocks
00:08:36.082 --> 00:08:36.449 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Ready?
00:08:36.515 --> 00:08:38.217 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> ready!
00:08:38.284 --> 00:08:39.585 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> it seems so illogical to
00:08:39.652 --> 00:08:40.920 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Travel through time to this
00:08:40.987 --> 00:08:41.520 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Location.
00:08:41.587 --> 00:08:42.488 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> happy birthday!
00:08:42.555 --> 00:08:43.155 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> [ groans ]
00:08:43.222 --> 00:08:43.723 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> [ monotone ] Go spock.
00:08:43.789 --> 00:08:44.423 line:85% position:35% size:48%
It's your birthday.
00:08:44.490 --> 00:08:46.392 line:85% position:45% size:70%
It is the day of your birth.
00:08:46.459 --> 00:08:47.827 line:10% position:48% size:75%
>> by the year 2013, due to an
00:08:47.894 --> 00:08:49.262 line:10% position:48% size:75%
Insatiable desire of audiences
00:08:49.328 --> 00:08:50.463 line:10% position:40% size:60%
Everywhere, almost every
00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:51.631 line:10% position:40% size:60%
Television show involved
00:08:51.697 --> 00:08:52.965 line:10% position:45% size:68%
Vampires, and the ones that
00:08:53.032 --> 00:08:54.133 line:10% position:40% size:60%
Didn't failed miserably.
00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:55.534 line:10% position:48% size:73%
Now we offer you a glimpse of
00:08:55.601 --> 00:08:57.603 line:10% position:40% size:60%
This very bloody future.
00:08:57.670 --> 00:08:58.504 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> this week on
00:08:58.571 --> 00:08:59.739 line:85% position:35% size:50%
"Vampire medical"...
00:08:59.805 --> 00:09:00.439 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> gunshot wound.
00:09:00.506 --> 00:09:01.307 line:85% position:40% size:58%
He's losing blood fast.
00:09:01.374 --> 00:09:02.208 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> let's get him a blood
00:09:02.275 --> 00:09:02.942 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Transfusion, stat.
00:09:03.009 --> 00:09:04.110 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> we're all out of blood again,
00:09:04.176 --> 00:09:04.543 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Doctor.
00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:05.244 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> damn it!
00:09:05.311 --> 00:09:05.978 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Who here keeps drinking all
00:09:06.045 --> 00:09:06.746 line:85% position:23% size:25%
The blood?
00:09:06.812 --> 00:09:07.613 line:85% position:50% size:78%
All right, we're probably gonna
00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:08.347 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Lose him, then.
00:09:08.414 --> 00:09:09.482 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Might as well get together and
00:09:09.548 --> 00:09:10.449 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Drink all of his blood.
00:09:10.516 --> 00:09:11.017 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ shink! ]
00:09:11.083 --> 00:09:11.684 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ all hiss ]
00:09:11.751 --> 00:09:13.619 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> aaaaaaah!
00:09:17.056 --> 00:09:18.791 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> is it "I want to suck your
00:09:18.858 --> 00:09:19.592 line:85% position:23% size:23%
[bleep]"?
00:09:19.659 --> 00:09:20.960 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ laughter ]
00:09:21.027 --> 00:09:22.028 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> help! Help me!
00:09:22.094 --> 00:09:23.763 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> we've got to save that kid!
00:09:23.829 --> 00:09:24.597 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> we can't!
00:09:24.664 --> 00:09:26.432 line:85% position:50% size:80%
We'll be burned in the sunlight!
00:09:26.499 --> 00:09:27.800 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> I'm wearing spf 100.
00:09:27.867 --> 00:09:29.035 line:85% position:35% size:50%
I'll give it a shot.
00:09:29.101 --> 00:09:31.237 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ panting ]
00:09:31.304 --> 00:09:32.471 line:85% position:20% size:18%
[bleep]
00:09:32.538 --> 00:09:33.806 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> it's 3 and 2 to derek jeter.
00:09:33.873 --> 00:09:34.874 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Here's the pitch, and...
00:09:34.941 --> 00:09:36.042 line:85% position:50% size:78%
It's a base hit straight up the
00:09:36.108 --> 00:09:37.109 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Middle but jeter trips on his
00:09:37.176 --> 00:09:37.643 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Cape!
00:09:37.710 --> 00:09:38.311 line:85% position:33% size:45%
So does rodriguez!
00:09:38.377 --> 00:09:39.178 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Martinez runs to make what
00:09:39.245 --> 00:09:40.246 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Should be an easy stop, and he
00:09:40.313 --> 00:09:41.147 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Trips on his cape, too!
00:09:41.213 --> 00:09:42.315 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Again, the cape issue rears its
00:09:42.381 --> 00:09:43.282 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Ugly head in major league
00:09:43.349 --> 00:09:43.816 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Baseball.
00:09:43.883 --> 00:09:44.850 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> ow!
00:09:44.917 --> 00:09:46.452 line:10% position:50% size:78%
>> it's literally impossible to
00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:48.054 line:10% position:50% size:78%
Make good pasta without garlic.
00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:49.422 line:10% position:43% size:65%
But since I'm a vampire or
00:09:49.488 --> 00:09:50.957 line:10% position:48% size:73%
Whatever, I don't use garlic,
00:09:51.023 --> 00:09:52.325 line:10% position:43% size:65%
Because vampires don't use
00:09:52.391 --> 00:09:53.826 line:10% position:48% size:73%
Garlic and my producer said I
00:09:53.893 --> 00:09:54.994 line:10% position:38% size:53%
Need to be a vampire.
00:09:55.061 --> 00:09:56.062 line:10% position:35% size:48%
This is ridiculous.
00:09:56.128 --> 00:09:57.363 line:10% position:40% size:60%
Do I really need to be a
00:09:57.430 --> 00:09:57.930 line:10% position:20% size:20%
Vampire?
00:09:57.997 --> 00:09:58.864 line:10% position:30% size:40%
>> yeah, martha,
00:09:58.931 --> 00:09:59.966 line:10% position:35% size:50%
It's a network rule.
00:10:00.032 --> 00:10:00.900 line:10% position:30% size:40%
Sorry, got to --
00:10:00.967 --> 00:10:01.934 line:10% position:33% size:45%
Yeah it's vampire.
00:10:02.001 --> 00:10:04.136 line:10% position:48% size:75%
>> fine, I'm a stupid vampire.
00:10:04.203 --> 00:10:05.204 line:10% position:23% size:25%
[ shink! ]
00:10:05.271 --> 00:10:06.739 line:10% position:23% size:25%
[ hisses ]
00:10:06.806 --> 00:10:08.941 line:10% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> vampires are very big right
Now.
00:10:09.008 --> 00:10:10.042 line:10% position:45% size:70%
Would you say reo speedwagon
00:10:10.109 --> 00:10:11.277 line:10% position:40% size:60%
Are a lot like vampires?
00:10:11.344 --> 00:10:13.646 line:10% position:43% size:65%
You know, 'cause you suck?
00:10:13.713 --> 00:10:14.513 line:10% position:25% size:30%
>> [ sighs ]
00:10:14.580 --> 00:10:16.415 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start
Oh, great, another ambush
Interview.
00:10:16.482 --> 00:10:17.249 line:10% position:25% size:30%
[ whistles ]
00:10:17.316 --> 00:10:19.051 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start
Hey, bring the speedwagon
Around.
00:10:19.118 --> 00:10:20.052 line:10% position:33% size:45%
We're out of here.
00:10:20.119 --> 00:10:21.721 line:10% position:48% size:75%
>> ♪ you've got to go with the
00:10:21.787 --> 00:10:23.422 line:10% position:50% size:78%
Flow when there's nowhere to go
00:10:23.489 --> 00:10:26.058 line:10% position:45% size:70%
And your music flows, yeah ♪
00:10:26.125 --> 00:10:29.795 line:10% position:43% size:65%
♪ yeah, your music flows ♪
00:10:35.067 --> 00:10:36.936 line:10% position:20% size:20%
>> whoo!
36265
