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Webvtt
X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000
00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:08.942 line:10% position:35% size:50%
[ thunder crashing ]
00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.944 line:10% position:35% size:50%
[ drilling, sawing ]
00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:18.051 line:10% position:43% size:63%
[ electricity crackling ]
00:00:18.118 --> 00:00:19.953 line:10% position:28% size:35%
>> it's alive!
00:00:42.208 --> 00:00:43.810 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> ladies and gentlemen, please
00:00:43.877 --> 00:00:46.246 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Rise for the best 60 seconds in
00:00:46.312 --> 00:00:47.580 line:85% position:35% size:48%
Television history.
00:00:47.647 --> 00:00:49.582 line:85% position:45% size:70%
[ camera shutters clicking ]
00:00:52.585 --> 00:00:55.121 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ beep, whirring ]
00:00:55.188 --> 00:00:57.891 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> aaaaah!
00:00:57.957 --> 00:01:01.795 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> [ laughs confidently ]
00:01:01.861 --> 00:01:03.263 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ grunts ]
00:01:03.329 --> 00:01:06.099 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ poink! ]
00:01:06.166 --> 00:01:08.768 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ beeping ]
00:01:08.835 --> 00:01:10.770 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ engine revving ]
00:01:20.847 --> 00:01:22.615 line:85% position:35% size:48%
[ ninjas shouting ]
00:01:27.187 --> 00:01:29.122 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> aaaah!
00:01:41.901 --> 00:01:43.837 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ buzzer sounds ]
00:01:47.740 --> 00:01:49.175 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> okay, lorraine, let's meet
00:01:49.242 --> 00:01:50.076 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Your suitors.
00:01:50.143 --> 00:01:51.878 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Bachelor number one is a peeping
00:01:51.945 --> 00:01:52.545 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Tom.
00:01:52.612 --> 00:01:53.813 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Bachelor number two is an
00:01:53.880 --> 00:01:54.881 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Attempted rapist.
00:01:54.948 --> 00:01:56.516 line:85% position:45% size:70%
And bachelor number three is
00:01:56.583 --> 00:01:57.951 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Your own son.
00:01:58.017 --> 00:02:00.954 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> I'm becoming a nun.
00:02:01.020 --> 00:02:02.088 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> hey, thanks for playing,
00:02:02.155 --> 00:02:03.590 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Marty.
00:02:04.824 --> 00:02:06.426 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ tingle! ]
00:02:06.493 --> 00:02:08.061 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> my spider sense is tingling,
00:02:08.127 --> 00:02:08.695 line:85% position:23% size:23%
But why?!
00:02:08.761 --> 00:02:09.996 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Is it the green goblin?!
00:02:10.063 --> 00:02:10.997 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> [ laughs evilly ]
00:02:11.064 --> 00:02:11.798 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> the lizard?!
00:02:11.865 --> 00:02:12.532 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> [ hisses ]
00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:13.766 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> aunt may having another
00:02:13.833 --> 00:02:14.300 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Stroke?!
00:02:14.367 --> 00:02:15.668 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ moaning ]
00:02:15.735 --> 00:02:16.936 line:85% position:35% size:50%
[ record scratches ]
00:02:17.003 --> 00:02:20.507 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> nothing? Okay.
00:02:20.573 --> 00:02:21.508 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ chokes ]
00:02:21.574 --> 00:02:23.910 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Oh, the milk went bad.
00:02:23.977 --> 00:02:27.347 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Um, thanks, spider sense?
00:02:27.413 --> 00:02:28.348 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ tingle! ]
00:02:28.414 --> 00:02:30.416 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Uh-oh, spider sense tingling!
00:02:30.483 --> 00:02:32.318 line:85% position:38% size:53%
[ children laughing ]
00:02:32.385 --> 00:02:34.287 line:85% position:45% size:70%
[ backup indicator beeping ]
00:02:34.354 --> 00:02:35.321 line:10% position:38% size:55%
[ laughing continues ]
00:02:35.388 --> 00:02:37.891 line:10% position:38% size:53%
Oh, no -- those kids!
00:02:37.957 --> 00:02:38.892 line:10% position:23% size:25%
[ scoffs ]
00:02:38.958 --> 00:02:41.427 line:10% position:48% size:75%
You tingled me over a puddle?!
00:02:41.494 --> 00:02:43.429 line:85% position:45% size:68%
[ tingle! Tingle! Tingle! ]
00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:48.234 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> face it, tiger...
00:02:48.301 --> 00:02:49.469 line:85% position:38% size:55%
You're gonna get laid.
00:02:49.536 --> 00:02:50.637 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> [ thinking ] Yes!
00:02:50.703 --> 00:02:52.338 line:85% position:50% size:80%
After tonight, the vulture can't
00:02:52.405 --> 00:02:53.840 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Call me a virgin ever again!
00:02:53.907 --> 00:02:54.574 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ tingle! ]
00:02:54.641 --> 00:02:55.675 line:85% position:35% size:48%
No, no! Shoo, shoo!
00:02:55.742 --> 00:02:57.343 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Come on, let another part of me
00:02:57.410 --> 00:02:58.311 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Tingle for once!
00:02:58.378 --> 00:03:00.813 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Uh-oh!
00:03:00.880 --> 00:03:02.415 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ crying ]
00:03:03.850 --> 00:03:04.617 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ tingle! ]
00:03:04.684 --> 00:03:06.319 line:85% position:45% size:70%
[ groans ] Be more specific!
00:03:06.386 --> 00:03:07.854 line:85% position:40% size:60%
Of course I'm in danger!
00:03:07.921 --> 00:03:09.455 line:85% position:43% size:65%
I'm hundreds of feet above
00:03:09.522 --> 00:03:11.791 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Manhat-- ugh!
00:03:11.858 --> 00:03:12.425 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ tingle! ]
00:03:12.492 --> 00:03:13.159 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Whatever.
00:03:13.226 --> 00:03:14.360 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> well, mr. Parker, it looks
00:03:14.427 --> 00:03:15.595 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Like you broke your ankle.
00:03:15.662 --> 00:03:17.096 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Also, x-rays show a tumor at the
00:03:17.163 --> 00:03:18.531 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Base of your skull that is, for
00:03:18.598 --> 00:03:19.999 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Lack of a better word, tingling.
00:03:20.066 --> 00:03:21.334 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> remove it. Remove it now.
00:03:21.401 --> 00:03:22.802 line:85% position:45% size:68%
[ tingle! Tingle! Tingle! ]
00:03:22.869 --> 00:03:23.536 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ flatline ]
00:03:23.603 --> 00:03:25.838 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> time of death -- 3:47 p.M.
00:03:27.173 --> 00:03:30.910 line:85% position:43% size:63%
[ melodic music playing ]
00:03:30.977 --> 00:03:32.278 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> I'm gonna make it rain!
00:03:32.345 --> 00:03:34.280 line:85% position:38% size:55%
[ rock music playing ]
00:03:44.924 --> 00:03:46.693 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> so, I told the oompa-loompas,
00:03:46.759 --> 00:03:48.494 line:85% position:50% size:78%
"Come live with me in peace and
00:03:48.561 --> 00:03:49.963 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Safety, away from all the
00:03:50.029 --> 00:03:51.164 line:85% position:35% size:48%
Wangdoodles and the
00:03:51.230 --> 00:03:53.566 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Hornswogglers and snozzwangers
00:03:53.633 --> 00:03:56.569 line:85% position:45% size:70%
And rotten vernicious knids.
00:03:58.471 --> 00:03:59.405 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> [ laughs ]
00:03:59.472 --> 00:04:01.107 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ birds chirping ]
00:04:01.174 --> 00:04:03.076 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> aaaaaaah!
00:04:03.142 --> 00:04:04.110 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ woman screams ]
00:04:04.177 --> 00:04:06.112 line:85% position:40% size:58%
[ indistinct shouting ]
00:04:09.616 --> 00:04:13.152 line:85% position:30% size:38%
[ baby crying ]
00:04:13.219 --> 00:04:15.421 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> and 5, 6, 7, 8!
00:04:15.488 --> 00:04:17.890 line:85% position:43% size:63%
♪ oompa-loompa, doopity ♪
00:04:17.957 --> 00:04:18.925 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Arms, people!
00:04:18.992 --> 00:04:21.928 line:85% position:48% size:75%
It's all in the arms! Come on!
00:04:21.995 --> 00:04:23.630 line:85% position:30% size:40%
♪ oompa-loompa ♪
00:04:23.696 --> 00:04:24.697 line:85% position:38% size:55%
Hey, you -- you there!
00:04:24.764 --> 00:04:25.531 line:85% position:35% size:50%
[ record scratches ]
00:04:25.598 --> 00:04:26.299 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:04:26.366 --> 00:04:28.368 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Is this dance too challenging
00:04:28.434 --> 00:04:29.135 line:85% position:20% size:20%
For you?
00:04:29.202 --> 00:04:30.303 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Are you tired?
00:04:30.370 --> 00:04:32.538 line:85% position:33% size:45%
You feeling faint?
00:04:32.605 --> 00:04:33.239 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ snaps fingers ]
00:04:33.306 --> 00:04:34.440 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Why don't you just take a load
00:04:34.507 --> 00:04:34.941 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Off, okay?
00:04:35.008 --> 00:04:36.509 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> aaaah!
00:04:36.576 --> 00:04:37.276 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ gunshot ]
00:04:37.343 --> 00:04:38.411 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> all right, people, here we go
00:04:38.478 --> 00:04:39.045 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Again.
00:04:39.112 --> 00:04:40.580 line:85% position:40% size:60%
This time, with feeling!
00:04:40.647 --> 00:04:42.782 line:85% position:30% size:38%
And 5, 6, 7, 8!
00:04:42.849 --> 00:04:44.117 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> welcome back to "Unwrapped."
00:04:44.183 --> 00:04:45.351 line:85% position:48% size:73%
You know, nearly everyone has
00:04:45.418 --> 00:04:46.719 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Enjoyed an ice-cream sundae on a
00:04:46.786 --> 00:04:48.554 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Hot day, but the origins of this
00:04:48.621 --> 00:04:50.123 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Tasty treat may just surprise
00:04:50.189 --> 00:04:50.890 line:85% position:15% size:10%
You.
00:04:50.957 --> 00:04:52.225 line:85% position:50% size:78%
It's commonly accepted that the
00:04:52.291 --> 00:04:53.960 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Sundae was invented in evanston,
00:04:54.027 --> 00:04:55.795 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Illinois, circa 1890.
00:04:55.862 --> 00:04:57.597 line:85% position:48% size:75%
We went to dr. Peter yarbourgh
00:04:57.664 --> 00:04:58.798 line:85% position:35% size:48%
For the real scoop.
00:04:58.865 --> 00:05:01.034 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> here's how [bleep] Dumb these
00:05:01.100 --> 00:05:02.368 line:85% position:50% size:78%
[bleep] Heads in illinois were.
00:05:02.435 --> 00:05:03.736 line:85% position:50% size:80%
The ice-cream soda had just been
00:05:03.803 --> 00:05:04.337 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Invented.
00:05:04.404 --> 00:05:05.204 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Teenagers liked them.
00:05:05.271 --> 00:05:06.372 line:85% position:45% size:68%
So, these [bleep] Religious
00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:07.707 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Numbnuts sat around jacking off
00:05:07.774 --> 00:05:08.875 line:85% position:45% size:68%
In church all day, thinking
00:05:08.941 --> 00:05:10.143 line:85% position:48% size:75%
About how much they just hated
00:05:10.209 --> 00:05:12.211 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Teenagers and decided -- true
00:05:12.278 --> 00:05:14.113 line:85% position:48% size:73%
[bleep] Story, people -- that
00:05:14.180 --> 00:05:15.348 line:85% position:40% size:58%
God therefore must hate
00:05:15.415 --> 00:05:16.282 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Ice-cream sodas.
00:05:16.349 --> 00:05:17.583 line:85% position:40% size:60%
That's right! [ laughs ]
00:05:17.650 --> 00:05:19.052 line:85% position:45% size:70%
These illinois [bleep] Knobs
00:05:19.118 --> 00:05:20.620 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Concluded that god, creator of
00:05:20.687 --> 00:05:21.954 line:85% position:43% size:63%
The infinite universe who
00:05:22.021 --> 00:05:23.556 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Probably had a trillion [bleep]
00:05:23.623 --> 00:05:25.058 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Better things to do, actually
00:05:25.124 --> 00:05:26.993 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Had an opinion about mother
00:05:27.060 --> 00:05:29.128 line:85% position:40% size:60%
[bleep] Ice-cream sodas!
00:05:29.195 --> 00:05:30.763 line:85% position:50% size:78%
So the state of illinois banned
00:05:30.830 --> 00:05:32.398 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Ice-cream sodas on sundays, you
00:05:32.465 --> 00:05:33.933 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Know, I guess so god wouldn't
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.468 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Make it rain crickets or some
00:05:35.535 --> 00:05:36.836 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Ridiculous [bleep] Horse [bleep]
00:05:36.903 --> 00:05:38.137 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Long story short, every sunday,
00:05:38.204 --> 00:05:39.372 line:85% position:48% size:73%
The [bleep] Ice-cream stores,
00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:40.707 line:85% position:50% size:78%
They'd just -- ta da! -- they'd
00:05:40.773 --> 00:05:41.941 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Just leave out the soda part,
00:05:42.008 --> 00:05:43.209 line:85% position:48% size:75%
And these illinois [bleep] Sat
00:05:43.276 --> 00:05:44.410 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Around, jacked off, thinking
00:05:44.477 --> 00:05:45.745 line:85% position:50% size:78%
About how much they had pleased
00:05:45.812 --> 00:05:46.913 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Their invisible master, who
00:05:46.979 --> 00:05:48.214 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Lives on a [bleep] Flying cloud
00:05:48.281 --> 00:05:49.348 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Or wherever the [bleep] He
00:05:49.415 --> 00:05:50.049 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Lives!
00:05:50.116 --> 00:05:51.651 line:85% position:45% size:70%
That's how ice-cream sundaes
00:05:51.718 --> 00:05:53.586 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Were invented -- dumb [bleep]
00:05:53.653 --> 00:05:56.155 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Illinois assholes!
00:05:56.222 --> 00:05:58.191 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> up next, skittles.
00:05:58.257 --> 00:06:00.426 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> oh [bleep] Skittles!
00:06:00.493 --> 00:06:02.929 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ barking ]
00:06:02.995 --> 00:06:05.898 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ panting ]
00:06:05.965 --> 00:06:07.400 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> can't we try missionary just
00:06:07.467 --> 00:06:07.900 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Once?
00:06:07.967 --> 00:06:09.302 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> [ whimpers ]
00:06:09.368 --> 00:06:11.370 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> krabby patties are made out
00:06:11.437 --> 00:06:12.205 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Of crabs!
00:06:12.271 --> 00:06:13.206 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ all gasp ]
00:06:13.272 --> 00:06:15.208 line:85% position:40% size:58%
[ indistinct shouting ]
00:06:15.274 --> 00:06:16.075 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> [ chuckles ]
00:06:16.142 --> 00:06:17.577 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Everyone knows krabby patties
00:06:17.643 --> 00:06:19.112 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Are me family's secret recipe,
00:06:19.178 --> 00:06:19.712 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Boy.
00:06:19.779 --> 00:06:21.647 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> then explain this!
00:06:21.714 --> 00:06:22.815 line:85% position:40% size:58%
[ all gasp, murmuring ]
00:06:22.882 --> 00:06:24.917 line:85% position:45% size:70%
You said you fired carl, the
00:06:24.984 --> 00:06:27.120 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Night janitor, but this is his
00:06:27.186 --> 00:06:28.488 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Tattoo!
00:06:28.554 --> 00:06:31.124 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> you little yellow bastard!
00:06:31.190 --> 00:06:32.859 line:85% position:45% size:70%
I treated you like a son, me
00:06:32.925 --> 00:06:33.559 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Boy!
00:06:33.626 --> 00:06:35.027 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> and it's not just crabs!
00:06:35.094 --> 00:06:37.230 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Squidward, those calamari rings
00:06:37.296 --> 00:06:38.798 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Are squid!
00:06:38.865 --> 00:06:40.366 line:85% position:45% size:68%
And your chicken-of-the-sea
00:06:40.433 --> 00:06:42.468 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Salad -- ha! -- tuna!
00:06:42.535 --> 00:06:45.138 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Chicken of the sea is tuna!
00:06:45.204 --> 00:06:46.339 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> [ gasps ]
00:06:46.405 --> 00:06:47.440 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> you fed us to us!
00:06:47.507 --> 00:06:48.975 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> you let us pay you to kill
00:06:49.041 --> 00:06:49.575 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Us?!
00:06:49.642 --> 00:06:51.210 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> you're disgusting!
00:06:51.277 --> 00:06:51.878 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> no!
00:06:51.944 --> 00:06:53.079 line:85% position:43% size:65%
I'm the last honest man in
00:06:53.146 --> 00:06:53.913 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Bikini bottom!
00:06:53.980 --> 00:06:55.348 line:85% position:45% size:68%
We're all animals, boys and
00:06:55.414 --> 00:06:56.115 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Girls!
00:06:56.182 --> 00:06:57.483 line:85% position:50% size:80%
Eating each other is what nature
00:06:57.550 --> 00:06:58.117 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Intended!
00:06:58.184 --> 00:07:00.019 line:85% position:30% size:38%
[ all shouting,
00:07:00.086 --> 00:07:01.687 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Punches landing ]
00:07:01.754 --> 00:07:03.122 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> I'm just glad nothing
00:07:03.189 --> 00:07:04.857 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Disgusting happens to a sponge.
00:07:04.924 --> 00:07:06.626 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> okay, just got to scrub deep
00:07:06.692 --> 00:07:08.294 line:85% position:48% size:73%
Within your rolls of fat, and
00:07:08.361 --> 00:07:10.363 line:85% position:25% size:28%
We're done.
00:07:10.429 --> 00:07:13.332 line:85% position:48% size:75%
I said nothing disgusting ever
00:07:13.399 --> 00:07:15.101 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Happens to a sponge!
00:07:15.168 --> 00:07:16.702 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> ugh, I hope that's pudding in
00:07:16.769 --> 00:07:17.470 line:85% position:18% size:15%
There.
00:07:17.537 --> 00:07:18.805 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> I sure was lucky to get a job
00:07:18.871 --> 00:07:20.406 line:85% position:50% size:80%
After my first two nights at the
00:07:20.473 --> 00:07:23.543 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Museums.
00:07:23.609 --> 00:07:26.946 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Oh, hell, no!
00:07:27.013 --> 00:07:30.149 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> today, I consider meself...
00:07:30.216 --> 00:07:33.085 line:85% position:48% size:73%
The lou gehrig-est man on the
00:07:33.152 --> 00:07:35.388 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Face of the earth.
00:07:35.454 --> 00:07:37.390 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ elevator dings ]
00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:42.328 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> [ thinking ] Well, if it
00:07:42.395 --> 00:07:43.396 line:85% position:33% size:43%
Isn't this loser.
00:07:43.462 --> 00:07:44.163 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Snarf, snarf!
00:07:44.230 --> 00:07:45.198 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> [ thinking ] Oh, man, please
00:07:45.264 --> 00:07:46.165 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Don't let this fool start
00:07:46.232 --> 00:07:46.866 line:85% position:28% size:35%
Talking to me.
00:07:46.933 --> 00:07:47.900 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> what are you hiding under
00:07:47.967 --> 00:07:49.635 line:85% position:40% size:60%
That pointy hat, feeb --
00:07:49.702 --> 00:07:51.637 line:85% position:38% size:55%
He-man's spray tanner?
00:07:51.704 --> 00:07:52.471 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Snarf, snarf!
00:07:52.538 --> 00:07:54.140 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> this pathetic jackass can't
00:07:54.207 --> 00:07:55.708 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Even go one sentence without
00:07:55.775 --> 00:07:56.876 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Saying his own name.
00:07:56.943 --> 00:07:59.645 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> nice bathrobe, douche!
00:07:59.712 --> 00:08:00.413 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Snarf, snarf.
00:08:00.479 --> 00:08:01.647 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> what if I had a vocal
00:08:01.714 --> 00:08:02.982 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Affectation that annoying?
00:08:03.049 --> 00:08:04.350 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Hope it doesn't rain today.
00:08:04.417 --> 00:08:05.117 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Orko, orko!
00:08:05.184 --> 00:08:06.552 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Would you like fries with that?
00:08:06.619 --> 00:08:07.420 line:85% position:25% size:28%
Orko, orko!
00:08:07.486 --> 00:08:09.255 line:85% position:48% size:75%
I'd end up in a shallow grave.
00:08:09.322 --> 00:08:09.956 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Asshole.
00:08:10.022 --> 00:08:10.690 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> snarf.
00:08:10.756 --> 00:08:11.924 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ elevator dings ]
00:08:11.991 --> 00:08:14.060 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Oh, no!
00:08:14.126 --> 00:08:16.062 line:85% position:45% size:68%
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:08:16.128 --> 00:08:16.996 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> [ mumbling ]
00:08:17.063 --> 00:08:18.264 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> [ aloud ] Oh, okay.
00:08:18.331 --> 00:08:19.131 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Snarf, snarf.
00:08:19.198 --> 00:08:20.833 line:85% position:50% size:78%
[ thinking ] Speak english, you
00:08:20.900 --> 00:08:21.868 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Half-wit!
00:08:21.934 --> 00:08:23.502 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Snarf, snarf!
00:08:23.569 --> 00:08:25.104 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> [ aloud ] Uh-huh, yeah.
00:08:25.171 --> 00:08:25.838 line:85% position:18% size:15%
I see.
00:08:25.905 --> 00:08:27.440 line:85% position:48% size:75%
[ thinking ] Kill me, kill me,
00:08:27.506 --> 00:08:28.107 line:85% position:20% size:20%
Kill me.
00:08:28.174 --> 00:08:31.310 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ elevator dings ]
00:08:31.377 --> 00:08:32.445 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> [ thinking ] [ mumbling ]
00:08:32.511 --> 00:08:33.212 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Oh, crap!
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:34.347 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Do not turn around, please, you
00:08:34.413 --> 00:08:35.114 line:85% position:30% size:38%
Son of a bitch!
00:08:35.181 --> 00:08:36.182 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Oh, no, do not turn around!
00:08:36.249 --> 00:08:37.049 line:85% position:33% size:45%
Don't turn around!
00:08:37.116 --> 00:08:37.917 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> gleek, it's me --
00:08:37.984 --> 00:08:39.218 line:85% position:28% size:33%
Andy richter!
00:08:39.285 --> 00:08:41.053 line:85% position:48% size:75%
Oh, seeing you here reminds me
00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:43.890 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Of a great conan story.
00:08:43.956 --> 00:08:47.393 line:85% position:40% size:58%
[ indistinct shouting ]
00:08:47.460 --> 00:08:48.861 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> [ laughs ]
00:08:48.928 --> 00:08:51.264 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> [ sniffs ]
00:08:51.330 --> 00:08:52.865 line:85% position:40% size:58%
A wonderful day to make
00:08:52.932 --> 00:08:54.667 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Cookies -- cookies with the
00:08:54.734 --> 00:08:56.235 line:85% position:40% size:58%
Finest ingredients, the
00:08:56.302 --> 00:08:57.970 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Smoothest chocolate.
00:08:58.037 --> 00:08:58.871 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ sniffs ]
00:08:58.938 --> 00:09:00.806 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Oh, that I lived to see this
00:09:00.873 --> 00:09:01.340 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Day.
00:09:01.407 --> 00:09:02.708 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ inhales deeply ]
00:09:02.775 --> 00:09:04.710 line:85% position:30% size:40%
[ horn blowing ]
00:09:11.584 --> 00:09:12.952 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> are you sure, ernest?
00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:13.653 line:85% position:20% size:18%
>> yes.
00:09:13.719 --> 00:09:15.154 line:85% position:45% size:70%
Listen to the voice upon the
00:09:15.221 --> 00:09:15.855 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Wind.
00:09:15.922 --> 00:09:19.325 line:85% position:45% size:70%
You will know it to be true.
00:09:19.392 --> 00:09:21.894 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> cookie.
00:09:21.961 --> 00:09:22.895 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ all gasp ]
00:09:22.962 --> 00:09:25.498 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> cookie!
00:09:25.564 --> 00:09:26.499 line:85% position:25% size:30%
[ all gasp ]
00:09:26.565 --> 00:09:27.833 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> cookie!
00:09:27.900 --> 00:09:28.834 line:85% position:28% size:33%
[ all shout ]
00:09:28.901 --> 00:09:31.003 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> hold!
00:09:31.070 --> 00:09:34.006 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> [ roaring, chomping ]
00:09:34.073 --> 00:09:36.142 line:85% position:40% size:60%
[ indistinct screaming ]
00:09:36.208 --> 00:09:37.977 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> hold!
00:09:38.044 --> 00:09:39.211 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> [ roaring, chomping
00:09:39.278 --> 00:09:39.879 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Continue ]
00:09:39.946 --> 00:09:41.580 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ woman screams ]
00:09:41.647 --> 00:09:44.216 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> hold!
00:09:44.283 --> 00:09:45.251 line:85% position:38% size:53%
I owed them overtime.
00:09:45.318 --> 00:09:46.319 line:85% position:38% size:55%
[ chuckles nervously ]
00:09:46.385 --> 00:09:47.586 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> uh, b-b-b-but you owe
me
00:09:47.653 --> 00:09:50.823 line:85% position:50% size:78%
Overtime, which is no big deal.
00:09:50.890 --> 00:09:53.025 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ roaring ]
00:09:53.092 --> 00:09:54.126 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> [ breathing heavily ]
00:09:54.193 --> 00:09:55.127 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> cookie!
00:09:55.194 --> 00:09:56.228 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Cookie!
00:09:56.295 --> 00:09:56.963 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Cookie!
00:09:57.029 --> 00:09:58.264 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> I didn't sign up for this!
00:09:58.331 --> 00:09:59.832 line:85% position:48% size:75%
I just wanted to make cookies!
00:09:59.899 --> 00:10:01.267 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> I'm making cookies in my
00:10:01.334 --> 00:10:02.635 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Pants right now!
00:10:02.702 --> 00:10:04.303 line:85% position:40% size:60%
They're shaped like poo!
00:10:04.370 --> 00:10:04.837 line:85% position:15% size:10%
Aah!
00:10:04.904 --> 00:10:08.607 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> cookie!
00:10:08.674 --> 00:10:11.177 line:85% position:23% size:25%
[ growls ]
00:10:11.243 --> 00:10:12.645 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Agh! Unh!
00:10:12.712 --> 00:10:14.380 line:85% position:23% size:23%
Ohh! Ohh!
00:10:14.447 --> 00:10:16.115 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Aaaaah!
00:10:16.182 --> 00:10:17.516 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> now give the monster what he
00:10:17.583 --> 00:10:17.917 line:85% position:18% size:15%
Wants!
00:10:17.984 --> 00:10:18.584 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> diabetes?
00:10:18.651 --> 00:10:19.752 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> good comment on modern
00:10:19.819 --> 00:10:20.987 line:85% position:45% size:68%
Culture, but no -- cookies!
00:10:21.053 --> 00:10:22.588 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ choking ]
00:10:22.655 --> 00:10:23.689 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> faster, buckets!
00:10:23.756 --> 00:10:24.623 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Pack that fudge!
00:10:24.690 --> 00:10:25.992 line:85% position:43% size:63%
Pack that fudge, damn it!
00:10:26.058 --> 00:10:26.859 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> [ giggles ]
00:10:26.926 --> 00:10:28.561 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> save your immaturity for when
00:10:28.627 --> 00:10:30.096 line:85% position:48% size:73%
We're not about to be killed,
00:10:30.162 --> 00:10:31.931 line:85% position:23% size:25%
You idiot!
00:10:31.998 --> 00:10:33.666 line:85% position:33% size:45%
[ giggles ] Fudge.
00:10:33.733 --> 00:10:36.135 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> cookie monster can't stop --
00:10:36.202 --> 00:10:38.237 line:85% position:43% size:65%
Can't stop eating cookies!
00:10:38.304 --> 00:10:41.240 line:85% position:25% size:28%
[ choking ]
00:10:41.307 --> 00:10:42.808 line:85% position:30% size:40%
[ all cheering ]
00:10:42.875 --> 00:10:43.642 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> [ cries ]
00:10:43.709 --> 00:10:45.378 line:85% position:50% size:78%
They didn't know he have cookie
00:10:45.444 --> 00:10:46.112 line:85% position:23% size:25%
Addiction!
00:10:46.178 --> 00:10:47.646 line:85% position:45% size:68%
It like they feed heroin to
00:10:47.713 --> 00:10:48.314 line:85% position:20% size:18%
Junkie!
00:10:48.381 --> 00:10:49.749 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> it was a home invasion!
00:10:49.815 --> 00:10:51.283 line:85% position:45% size:68%
They acted in self-defense!
00:10:51.350 --> 00:10:52.685 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> order, please! Order!
00:10:52.752 --> 00:10:54.253 line:85% position:45% size:68%
The court finds in favor of
00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:55.654 line:85% position:38% size:53%
Keebler incorporated!
00:10:55.721 --> 00:10:57.289 line:85% position:43% size:65%
I guess that's the way the
00:10:57.356 --> 00:10:58.424 line:85% position:30% size:40%
Cookie crumbles.
00:10:58.491 --> 00:11:00.693 line:85% position:48% size:75%
>> me son is dead and you make
00:11:00.760 --> 00:11:01.360 line:85% position:18% size:13%
Pun?!
00:11:01.427 --> 00:11:02.461 line:85% position:25% size:30%
Me kill you!
00:11:02.528 --> 00:11:04.096 line:85% position:35% size:50%
Me [bleep] Kill you!
00:11:04.163 --> 00:11:06.098 line:85% position:23% size:23%
[ roars ]
00:11:09.635 --> 00:11:10.803 line:10% position:40% size:60%
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:10.870 --> 00:11:11.971 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:12.038 --> 00:11:13.439 line:10% position:50% size:78%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:11:13.506 --> 00:11:14.106 line:10% position:25% size:28%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:11:14.173 --> 00:11:15.241 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:15.307 --> 00:11:16.242 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:16.308 --> 00:11:17.743 line:10% position:50% size:78%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:11:17.810 --> 00:11:18.411 line:10% position:25% size:28%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:11:18.477 --> 00:11:19.478 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:19.545 --> 00:11:20.546 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
00:11:20.613 --> 00:11:22.081 line:10% position:50% size:78%
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
00:11:22.148 --> 00:11:22.748 line:10% position:25% size:28%
Bawk bawk ♪
00:11:22.815 --> 00:11:24.750 line:10% position:28% size:35%
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
33024
