All language subtitles for Awanring

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(loon calling)

(mellow music)

- I'm not a good person.

I'm a bad person that
wants to be good real bad.

And I use music as a
way to process my demons

and help me continue
to be a good guy.

It's like this angry,
destructive force...

That I'm always trying
to keep in a cage.

And music helps me keep
that thing in a cage.

(mellow music)

- As artists, we all have to
wear this mask all the time

and it's through the art

where we can express
our true feelings.

Because it would be
very odd and extreme

to be constantly
showing or expressing

that undercurrent
of the darkness

that can come out in the music.

If you came over
and I was just like,

"Hey.

Hey guys."

Or like, whatever,

"I'm too depressed to get out
of bed or answer the phone."

Which is actually
often the case.

(mellow music)

- Well, if I didn't
have music as an outlet,

I'd probably be six feet down.

Maybe seven.

Maybe deeper.

Maybe a shallow
grave, who knows?

- Hi Megan, we're
taking moving pictures.

Megan from Couch Slut.

- Hello.

- They were awesome,
I cried watching 'em.

- So many people
said they cried.

- Yeah, it was good,
it was intense.

- We're just having fun.

- Yeah, it is, it is
just having fun (laughs).

- Just talking about
PTSD and trauma.

- (laughs) Yeah.

- Sexual abuse.

- All the real positive
topics and aspects of life.

- Really heartwarming,
nice stuff.

- I am Adam Bartlett,

founder of Gilead
Media Record Label,

releases all sorts of metal
records, punk, hardcore,

doom, black metal, noise rock.

I also am one of the
co-producers of Migration Fest,

the Biennial Music Festival,

along with Dave
from 20 Bucks Spin.

A festival that features
all of our bands,

and a select group of other
bands that we both enjoy.

- Every band is killer, we
don't put filler bands on.

- No.

♪ Can you take it slow ♪

♪ Get back on the ground ♪

(mellow music)

(hardcore music)

- I can't tell you any
moments from any shows.

All I know is that we're
done, and I'm sobbing,

and I'm covered in blood,
but I feel really good.

(hardcore music)

I'm reliving all
of these traumatic
experiences but tenfold,

I don't want to be
talking about this shit,

but I know you know
that I have to.

I don't sleep at night
'cause if I'm asleep

then there's these
horrific nightmares.

It feels so good to have a
microphone and just get it out,

and admit these horrible things,

just get them off my chest.

I sleep so good after a show.

♪ Then he would
kick me in head ♪

♪ If I turned to see what
the fuck he was doing ♪

♪ I dunno why it was so
interesting in specifics ♪

♪ He took me down with
a knife to my throat ♪

♪ He said, don't you
say a fucking word ♪

♪ So I just stared at the
floor and tried to relax ♪

♪ Just stare at the
floor and try to relax ♪

Two dozen people approached
me during that weekend,

and they were just like, "I
had to go outside and cry."

I don't do it for that reason,

but that's a really nice
byproduct of our performances

that I'm really
grateful to have,

for those people
and for myself too.

Oh, you're not alone in this,

I'm not alone in this.

It's nice.

♪ God damn ♪

♪ Summer smiles ♪

♪ Oh, God damn ♪

- My favorite book series
is "The Dark Tower",

the series that sparked my
interest in storytelling

and in art.

I remember thinking, "I
want to create something,

I wanna make music, or
I wanna write poetry,

or lyrics, or whatever."

I considered it at the time.

Or just write something and
be a part of creating art.

And I wasn't exceptionally good

at any sort of
visual art at all.

I just gravitated towards
writing lyrics for...

A non-existent band that
someday may exist, or whatever.

But that's what sparked
my initial interest

in creating something.

- I love Adam so much,

talk about a
selfless human being,

not just say words like
safe space or whatever.

But I know that Adam is
just a kind good guy.

(loon callling)

(mellow music)

- Anything Adam asks
me to do, I'll do.

Because he gave me
this golden opportunity

to openly grieve,

and to talk about these
really human things.

He gave me this
platform to be able to

talk about something
deeper than politics,

something as deep as the
wilderness that we live in.

And that is the human
experience of loss.

Migration One was the
profound experience for me

to be able to
process in real time

the loss of my dad, my old man.

And to remember him in that way.

- Talking about dudes that put
everything into the art man,

you listen to any of his records

and they're just
searing and intense.

And every album is
a theme and a story,

and tells so much of
his personal life,

or speaks so much of
the world around him.

And having them around and
be a part of the festival,

and playing his first show ever

at the first Migration
Fest is super meaningful.

- There's not a day that goes by

that I don't miss my old man.

Every time I look
down at my arm,

and his name right here
and a rainbow trout.

Because he always took
me fly fishing as a kid.

And Adam gave me an opportunity

to talk about those things
in a really open forum.

He pushed me outside
of my comfort zone,

that gift that he gave me,

it was more than I would've
ever reached for on my own.

If he hadn't been there to
fucking bully me into it,

and to push me, I
never would've done it.

And for that, anything
he ever asks me for,

I'm gonna do.

- David the Gnome, he loved that
cartoon when he was little.

Yeah, so I had to learn
the little intro song

on my guitar and sing it to
him sometimes (chuckles).

I gotta tell you, Adam
was an exceptional kid.

My family loved him,
and he was gorgeous,

and he was the best
looking of them all.

♪ Well, he came from far off ♪

♪ Over behind the hills ♪

♪ And these are raised
on the silent stars ♪

♪ And the sounds of
the whippoorwill ♪

- I was born and
raised in Oshkosh.

♪ Traded in poverty and
scenery for money and hell ♪

I started working at
record store when I was 17.

- I knew Adam from
Exclusive Company.

- He was a huge
asset to that store.

- I was in college, that
was my local record store,

he was the tattooed guy that had

grumpy opinions about music.

- He was kind of an asshole
and he would judge you,

yeah, he was an
intimidating prick.

- Well this is my record
store, Eroding Winds.

(upbeat music)

- When he opened up the
brick and mortar location,

he felt like, well, I'm
paying rent on storage

for doing online sales anyway.

I might as well have a
retail section to this,

and if customers come in, great,

it's just icing on the cake.

- I watched it progress
from being up here,

and being pushed back another
six feet and another six feet.

- It's totally flip flopped to

he can do a much
more sales in person.

- You walk in and he goes,
"I know what T-shirt that is,

you might like this band."

And then suddenly you get to
have a 20 minute conversation.

- We still have a lot of
cool experimental stuff,

metal, hip hop, hardcore
and punk records,

stuff that used to be
part of my label distro.

Tons of jazz stuff, funk and
soul, regular classic rock.

Everything that's in print,

I keep copies on the
shelf from the store,

because we will get people
sometimes that travel

and make a stop here

while they're on the
rest of their road trip.

- So I went to Migration
Fest in Olympia two years ago

just as a consumer, but
it was a little expensive.

This is nice to go
and be on the clock,

but I won't hardly
get to see any bands.

I wanna see Couch Slut,

that's the one
band I'm trying to

get away from the
merch table for.

- Now we're a week out
for Migration Fest Two

for 2018 in Pittsburgh, and
I think it's gonna work.

I don't know, it
feels all right.

It's at a legit venue that
has big shows regularly,

it's well outfitted with
tons of sick fucking gear.

It's honestly gonna be the
easiest fest we've ever done.

(upbeat music)

- Wanna bring these punk
hardcore seven inches?

- Yep.

- If Jordan and Tanner text
me about the merch table,

I'm going to freak the fuck out

'cause I got other
shit to deal with,

and that's what they're
getting paid for.

Yeah, I don't know where
the fuck those banners are.

- Is the shit for the two-tier
synth stand at the studio?

- I don't want to put
the seats in the van.

I'm just sick of doing shit.

- You'd rather be
playing video games?

- Fuck yeah, I'd rather
be playing video games.

The way of the road.

(upbeat music)

We're in Toledo right now, where
I lived for a couple years,

and it's where I
started the label.

Behind me is the building

where Lumberjack
Distribution used to be,

it taught me a shitload
about the music industry.

I started to make
a lot of contacts

and become acquaintances
with the guys

that ran record labels
that we were distributing,

Death Wish, and Hydra Head,

and the labels that
I looked up to.

Some of the guys
that work in-house

have their own record labels,

my buddy Andy ran hardcore
label, Thorp Records.

I was just like, "I think
I wanna put out a CD."

The first Gilead Media releases

were this atmospheric
droney project.

My band split with our friends,

just doing like grindy,
spazzy bullshit.

This sludgy, grindy project
from my buddy Adam Tucker

that I still work with a lot
on Gilead Media stuff now.

(upbeat music)

The CD had to go to press,

'cause, like our bands
were doing a mini tour together

and it had to be done.

So the main character
in "The Dark Tower"

is from the City of Gilead.

I needed to come
up with something,

so I just pull it out of my ass,

it's kind of a weird label name.

No one knows how to say it.

- I think the
first couple things

that he was doing with his label

were just kind of
small little projects.

But the opportunity to be able
to put out Appleseed Cast

fell into his lap and he
needed a little bit of cash,

and I had come into
a little bit of cash.

It just seemed totally
crazy at the time,

but I just believed
he'd be able to do it.

- Appleseed Cast records showed
up while I was working here,

of Sinking Ships,
Cancer Conspiracy.

(upbeat music)

Andy from Robotic Empire, he
literally sent me an email,

"Hey, here's this band
Thou, you might dig 'em."

- How did Andy know you?

- From Lumberjack, from
Lumberjack Distribution.

(mellow music)

- Thou's a wonderful band,

they'd been around forever

and they were one of the first
doom metal bands I got into.

And it was surreal to
become friends with them

through playing with Hell.

- KC is the newest edition,

KC has a very unique
voice, also a singing style.

They sing that song
"The Hammer", which
is on Inconsolable.

- KC channels that
song in a way that is

so emotionally powerful,

I feel like I'm
gonna cry right now.

The chest punch.

(indistinct lyrics)

- KC singing was great
for adding another layer

and more depth to the sound.

The dynamics and the variation
of vocal sounds and stuff

really adds a lot,

especially with super dense
heavy music like that.

♪ Bring down the hammer ♪

♪ Bring down the hammer ♪

- Working with Bryan was
hard to get used to at first,

just because our styles
are so different.

I come from a math rock
and folk background,

and had never really done
truly heavy music before.

Bryan is brilliant,

and knows exactly what
he wants out of a song,

but he has absolutely
no sense of rhythm

and can't carry a tune.

Sings like a deaf elephant.

♪ Bring down the hammer ♪

- Thou was one of the
first bands that I think

helped him form an
identity as a label.

It shaped a little
bit of the direction

of where the label was going,

and he became a little bit known

for putting out all
these Thou releases.

- The Thou album was
the 16th release I did,

and then their EP that
went along with Tyrant,

the Retaliation of the
Immutable Force of Nature.

It was the two songs
on the tyrant CD

that didn't fit on the
LP, so we did a 12 inch.

- Andy was the one that I had

the first couple
of practices with.

- Andy is the engineer,
Bryan is the mad conductor.

- Bryan's a contrarian, he
loves pushing people's buttons.

- Matthew occasionally will just

shit out a couple
of amazing songs,

and then just go
back to his cave.

- Matthew's still one
of my best friends,

we have a super
cosmic connection.

- Of course there's Mitch,
who's super outgoing.

- Mitch is a goober,

sometimes has input but
mostly just goofs off.

- They're just really funny,

they're not typical metal dudes.

- They're just a wild collection

of totally unique individuals
making very cool music.

- Yeah y'all, it's
Brandon's birthday today.

So the first thing we gotta do,

birthday speech.

So once there was a band,

all right, now we
got that out the way.

Birthday song,
with a stage dive,

you guys carry him
all around here,

put some money in his pockets,

in his hands, in his
mouth, in his ears.

Are y'all ready?

The count of three, he's
jumping out, get ready.

One, two, three,

go.

Happy birthday to you.

(upbeat music)

- They're the beacon of
this weird sub genre,

niche scene that we have here,

'cause they've put out such

a vast catalog of
different shit.

- They've had so many
splits and collaborations,

where it's like, "Oh
wow, who's that band?"

- The collaboration
between Thou and I

started because they were
the artist in residence

in Roadburn 2018.

And for one of those sets,

it's supposed to traditionally
be a collaboration.

And so they reached out
to me and I was like,

"Fuck yeah."

- It was a real honor
to write with Emma,

to get to play with her,

and it was something
so different

than I'd gotten to
play drums with.

Her guitar playing,

and style of songwriting
was really exciting.

- God, I love Tyler
so much, I adore him,

I think he's an an
incredibly special person,

and wildly talented.

He's such a good drummer.

It blew my mind
playing with him.

- I think sometimes
Emma was like,

"I don't know what
to do with this."

She'd be singing the song

but not really know what
to put on top of it,

'cause four guitars is
bordering on too much.

It works on the record, I think.

I'm really thrilled with
the way it came together,

even though it was
very stressful.

- I was pretty intimidated.

My first impression of
Brian, this guy hates me,

doesn't want to do this collab.

Thinks that it's a
total waste of time

and that I'm a complete tool.

I would in some parts
take some of his lyrics,

sing those, or some
of that content

would inspire some of my
lyrics and vice versa.

His lyrics in general are

a little bit more philosophical
and poetic than mine are.

Mine are a little
bit more basic,

which doesn't mean
they aren't emotional,

they're just a little
bit more plain.

It's cool that we get to
combine the two things.

- But that was when
the shift started,

and Krallice came along.

- For Gilead Media releases
the first one was my

first Indricothere solo record,

my introduction to
working with Adam.

- That was just totally
fucking bonkers,

drum machine programmed,
instrumental, tech, insanity.

- Sort of a way to write metal

that was sort of stream
of consciousness.

Write a part, okay,

as quickly as you can
write the next part,

record it, don't learn it,
don't even think about it,

just record.

(upbeat music)

- So Colin hit me
up, he's like, "Hey,

I'm in this black
metal band, Krallice.

Profound Lore is
putting out our CD,

we are wondering if you
would do the vinyl for it?"

- Krallice is a very
interesting band,

part of the whole avant garde,

progressive black metal scene.

They are doing something with
the black metal expression,

and the black metal sound
and bringing it forward.

- My label has a reputation for

releasing atypical black metal,

Krallice was the
whipping boy for a while.

- Krallice, Lev Weinstein.

- Mick had actually made

black metal solo records
before that by himself

that were unreleased
in the '90s.

One of those songs ended
up as the first track

on "Go Be Forgotten",

"This Forest For
Which We Have Killed."

- That band is one of the most

fucking DIY bands I work with,

always record all
their own shit.

Mix, master all their own stuff,

do all the artwork themselves,

and just send me a finished
album, finished artwork,

good to go.

Everyone in that band

is an absolute master
of their instrument.

- It's an exercise
in punishment,

I don't know how those guys
play for an hour and 20 minutes.

- Lev is definitely a machine,

just about every
time I've recorded,

especially with that
Mutilation Rites record.

And I hit him up and was like,

"How do I make it
through these songs?"

But Lev's answer was
always just like,

"You just gotta play
through the pain."

That's all, that's
Lev's whole deal,

playing through the pain.

(intense music)

- Lev's endurance and
stamina on the drums

is almost his style.

His whole approach to drumming

is about playing fast and
constant as easy as possible.

He's spent all of his time

just trying to get
more and more relaxed.

- I think technique
at its simplest

and most effective level
is this is really hard,

let me pay attention
to what I'm doing,

and try to codify
it a little bit.

And now I'm not dying,
that's technique.

(intense music)

If you're trying to play fast
for a long period of time,

and you're trying to play
purely from the wrist.

That's serious
repetitive motion.

So you're just going to start
to lock up and and start to

die a lot quicker than if
you break up that motion

with bigger muscle movement.

My wrist is still gonna
be the same wrist motion,

but I'm gonna let this
arm flap like a behind it,

because all of that flapping

takes out all the strain
and makes it not repetitive,

and the big muscles can
go and just be loose.

All I've ever been trying to do

is just figure out
how to be as practical

and as universal as possible.

I wanna play
everything the same way

and I want it to be
as easy as I can be.

That's something that he's
tried very hard to create

is this even flowing
sense of dynamics,

and he's gotten
so awesome at that

that it's a huge advantage.

One thing that's cool
though is their album

they did with Dave
Edwardson from Neurosis.

- The first person I met
from Krallice was Colin,

Neurosis and Gorguts

were playing a metal festival
together in 2015 in Montreal,

we just hit it off.

- He was just like,
"I know who you are,

I'm a Krallice fan."

And so mind totally blown.

- He's a very frenetic,
excitable, hyper-energy guy,

he's full of ideas.

He and I clicked just in a
very natural way together.

- He was like, "Oh
yeah, and by the way,

if you ever wanna
do a collaboration,

guest vocals are
super easy for me."

I was like, "All right,
this was meant to be,

psychic moment."

- A couple months later, Colin
out of the blue says, "Hey,

we were thinking
about having you do

guest vocals on a
song for Krallice.

But, we changed our mind
and decided it'd be great

if we could do a
whole album together,

would you be interested?"

And it sounded like a very
interesting proposal to me,

so I said, "Hell yeah."

- I got to envision
this darker, naughtier,

more dissonant record, and
envision his voice on it

and write it with him in mind.

(man growling)

- A few months later
Neurosis was on tour

and we ended up in Philly,

caught a bus the
next day to Brooklyn.

Spent three days
recording the vocals

with the guys at Menegroth.

- I didn't even know if he
was into it or whatever,

and he was so friendly
and so stoked,

it was such a pleasure.

- They're all really crazy,
fun, smart, goofy guys.

Smoking amazing
amounts of marijuana

for people that are such
proficient musicians

playing the most complicated
music in the world.

- So right now we're in the
control room of the studio.

The sound comes in from one
ISO booth, two ISO booth,

three ISO booth and the
live room beyond that.

The audio comes in
through the patch bay,

and then I can decide which
preamps to route the signal to.

- What a great man Colin.

- Yeah, he's amazing to
work with, he's a super pro,

he's incredibly meticulous
about getting sounds.

- There's one interesting
aspect to Imperial Triumphant,

pretty much all of the
records have tons of guests.

I'd either record or
get the basic tracks,

mix it and then a week
later just all these other

instruments and
tracks would show up.

(intense music)

Opera singers, crazy
avant garde singers,

classical and lots
of wind instruments,

trumpets, trombones,
saxophones, stuff like that.

- So we just released at
least the digital version

of the album for
Imperial Triumphant.

Because of how avant garde
their sound actually is,

people have been
fucking digging it.

- The opening track
for "Vial Luxury"

had a whole brass
octet arrangement,

that was all fake instruments.

And we tried many different ways

to get that to work in the mix,

and eventually they
just weren't satisfied.

I wasn't really satisfied
either 'cause I was like,

"If you want this to sound
fake, let's make it sound fake,

let's make it all
mellotrons or something.

If you want it to be real
let's bring in players,

I know some, you
guys know some."

I actually got them to bring in

the whole live
ensemble to the studio,

and re-track the intro
with real instruments.

- If St. Vitus is like
the New York City venue,

Colin is like the underground
New York City producer.

- The image of the
cover on the Dave record

is based on his lyrics for
the song Loum or whatever,

which is this giant
impossibly tall obelisk

that you have to climb over.

He was like, "I got
some ideas for artists,

what about this guy,
what about this guy?"

And one of the people
he suggested for artists

was Carl from His Hero Is Gone.

- Wow, I get to put on another
Krallice record, sweet.

With the fucking bass player
from Neurosis doing the vocals,

and playing synth.

Plus, the dude from His Hero
Is Gone did the artwork,

how many more fucking
layers of awesome

could there be to this release?

- This is my studio.

This is where I
created the work.

- I already had the idea
for the design figured out,

described it to him and
he rendered it in his way

and that's what became
cover art for the album.

- This is the front cover,

the view of the obelisk
from the viewpoint

of someone running with the
intention of climbing up.

This is the base of the obelisk,

that one arrives at when they're
about to scale the obelisk.

The inner gatefold painting,

these are the bloodied
hands that come about

through the act of scaling
the obelisk to escape.

- The song is about an unseen
force that you know is there,

that's gonna kill you

and throw you into some
permanent state of Hell.

- It's a theme that I've dealt
with before in music and art,

my old bandmates
and I made an album

called "Monuments to Thieves".

That was the theme,

monuments in the south that
were very much rooted in

the interest of keeping
people oppressed,

with the intention of

keeping them oppressed
for a long time.

Yeah.

Political views are just
built into the work,

it's a quality
that's very subtle,

it might be hidden
but it's there.

I don't like that
term full circle,

'cause it's a
never ending thing,

struggle is always there.

- That was when this stuff
started blowing up in the US,

kids had a chance to digest
what they heard growing up.

They were finally reinterpreting
it for themselves.

- So this place was founded
around, was it 1922?

It was founded by a bunch
of writers and professors,

it was actually right when
the Model T Ford was invented

and they all suddenly realized

they could reach
farther destinations.

And over the years
it's just become

this enclave for artists.

- There's a lot of
components to this place,

but we mainly record
down the hill.

- That's where we've
recorded four records.

- Very resonant, it's
got a weird shape,

kinda low ceilings but
completely made of wood,

no insulation so the whole
thing vibrates like a drum.

- People can hear us

if it's summertime there
are people up here,

but we tend to do it winter.

The first time we'd
ever had this idea

when there was about two
feet of snow on the ground,

and we realized that
there was no way to get

our amps into this cabin.

- There was a lot of setup,

we don't really, we don't
live up here most of the time,

so it's just sort
of battling nature

every single step of the way.

- We pulled every
single piece of gear

down to this cabin on the sled.

- We just strapped it
down with bungee cords,

I remember just
standing on the back

and actually riding
it down this hill.

- Some nights would be snowing,

and then the next day you'd see

some buds coming
out on the trees.

Yeah, we really feel
the seasons change

while we work down here.

What makes recording
at Yelping Hill special

is recording with
those guys in a world

that they feel
completely creative in.

Especially for me,
when I get there,

it's mostly done and I feel
like they're starting to obsess.

(mellow music)

- We were just working on
some kind of bizarre overlay.

- Using this thing,
bringing this thing in.

We like interludes,

sometimes it's more fun
to think of than the song,

it just takes you away.

(mellow music)

- Before playing in
black metal bands,

most of my musical
output was noise.

- Yeah.
- For years it was just noise.

(mellow music)

I think I built an
oscillator into this.

I started making more and
more elaborate instruments.

- I think he brought
us about eight of them

and we had some people
up here and we would all,

we just I think held a
recorder in the middle.

We were just running around
the woods blowing them.

- Yeah.

(mellow music)

- With the field recordings
and the strange sounds

that they wanted to
incorporate into their albums,

the idea of it is
you made something

that doesn't sound like
anything we've heard before,

that's awesome,
we need to use it.

- This is the instrument

that Alex brought up here
during the recording,

and we ended up using
it for interludes.

You can move these bridges
around, I never tuned it once.

At the end of the song "No Dust"

I just took the melody that
we were playing on guitars

and just redid it note by note.

- It took a long time.

For me it was kind
of fascinating

to just hand them something
and be like, "I made this,

I made some recordings with it,

but what do you guys want
to try and do with this?"

It makes a really
good drone sound.

Yeah, you can build on
something like that.

- It doesn't always sound good,

but that's the
whole point I guess.

- I cite the "Thou/Leach
Split" as setting the stage

for what Gilead
Media would become.

(intense music)

Well, Bryan hit me up because
the "Thou/Leach Split" tape

came out on Woodsmoke
and wanted to do vinyl.

So we did that as
that Gatefold LP,

that was the first thing I put
out that was black metal-ish.

That was right before
the Krallice record.

I emailed Paul and I'm like,

"Hey can you send
me an audio master?"

He's like, "Well we just
have a cassette tape."

- We just sent him a cassette
tape with some pine cones

and some foresty
items, maybe a bone.

- And then a photograph
of a gray cloudy sky

with a typewriter typewritten
on it, the greeting.

And being like, "Here's the
tape, it's the only one."

Then that was it, and then
it was just a cassette tape

with some little
crappy labels on it,

and that was their
part of the split.

- Just a little
packet we sent him

all mysteriously
from the forest.

- That was my first
exposure to Paul.

- They're maniacs,

obsessed with being
trve black metal.

- The whole lyrical concept
of anarcho-primitivism,

the tribal mentality and
the the indigenous lifestyle

and spiritualism is
the real lifestyle.

And spiritualism,
and then capitalism,

and industrialized
agricultural civilization

is actually anathema
to the human spirit.

And it's specifically in
the Cascadian bio region

being like, "This is
our chance to speak to

this pastoral heathen landscape

that resides just beyond the
realm of linear perception."

And try to appeal to
people's innate longing for

a better world or longing for
a more holistic integration to

the eco group consciousness.

We started getting into
chakras and meditating,

so we started tuning to C-sharp,

which is allegedly the
solar plexus tuning.

And so we were trying
to speak to the seat of

celestial longing for
people in the forest,

and trying to be like,
"Civilization sucks.

Listen to this
emotional searing melody

from this very lo-fi tape."

And eventually we just
got bogged down by

the weight of civilization
and the inherent nihilism

of trying to be spiritual
in a materialistic world.

We were young, we were
emotional and dramatic,

and stupid and arrogant,

but also we were
really ambitious.

We wanted to be a
cultural artistic marker

for something that didn't exist,

but we tried hard.

(mellow music)

- People talk about this fucking

Cascadian black metal thing,

they deserve to be regarded
in the same light as

Wolves In The Throne
Room, Agalloch,

Fauna and Leech.

As far as I'm concerned,
they're as important.

More cult, more unknown,
just as significant.

(mellow music)

- I've heard it said frequently,

the Northwest or Oregon,

there must be something
in the water up there.

Because there's all
these great bands

that have this similar sound.

It's hard for me to say
where my own natural mindset,

and emotions and moods stop,
and where the landscape

and the mood that that
imparts to my psyche begin,

because I was born here.

But I do think that a certain
sense of gloom and melancholy,

pervade and inspire
in intangible ways.

- There's something
weird going on up there

that such amazing shit's
coming out of that area.

These one-man-band
album sort of stuff,

sort of off the beaten
path metal projects.

- It's like, there's
nothing else to do,

it's cold, and it's
shitty, and depressing,

so we're just gonna make
that kind of music, I guess.

Yeah, but it's nice
though, you get used to it,

and you just embrace it and
then get creative with it.

Instead of getting
too depressed,

you use that energy to put
into some sort of art form,

of which in our case was music.

Salem is a religious
conservative town,

and there's not
much for kids to do.

So the only thing to
do is to get fucked up,

and that causes
its own problems.

In the midst of all of that,

the only option
for music is play

the most fucked up
thing you can think of.

There also wasn't
anything going on

for extreme doom or black metal,

and that's what the
BG guys like Nate,

and Paul, and Kyle were doing.

- Used to be Burial Ground was
the house they all lived in.

(mellow music)

- The backyard would
be full of people,

they'll all be
partying out here.

When the bands would
start Nate would come out

and make everybody go downstairs
and check out the show.

- Welcome to the BG.

(upbeat music)

- This place was
totally out of control,

shows would go
all fucking night.

Chickens running around,
dogs running around,

blood smeared on the wall.

- People painted red, crowd
surfing as much as they could,

dead animals in the basement.

There was a lot of
mushrooms or LSD,

and just piles of beer
cans and everybody raging.

- People getting in fights,
people falling downstairs,

people falling out windows.

- Just 10 people right
here all rocking out,

and there's some
insane grindcore or
something happening.

That's very 2008.

That's the pinnacle
of that time.

- There'd be fucking hundreds
of people in this tiny house,

and out back and out front.

Neighbors would be
screaming at us,

and calling us dirty
hippies and all this shit.

- We'd play Salem
every time we go to

the West Coast no matter what.

- When they're hungry for it

it makes it really,
really exciting,

some of the best shows I've
ever seen were in that basement.

- Cops would come,
the cops would leave,

and then things would
just start back up again.

Total fucking bedlam,

it was brilliant (laughs).

My first experience with the
Burial Grounds was early 2008,

and it was the first
Fell Voices tour.

(upbeat music)

- There's no black metal
band like them in the world.

The three personalities
that are in that band

and the way they
write music together,

the way that they view
creating art is very unique.

- Paul made this killer
flyer almost all black

with some cryptic hooded figure.

"Fell Voices" was
billed as grim drone.

- And the flyer said, "Wear
all black and say not a word."

- We were on this tour

and I showed up wearing like
a tattered yellow button up.

Paul was really angry at me
for wearing yellow (laughs).

It was an issue
that I violated the

all black silence rule.

And there was all these
satellite figures,

just younger wastoid kids.

- I just started
hanging out over there

when I was like 16 or something,

it just became like
a family thing.

- I moved to Salem
when I was about 13,

and that was the
year I met Brandon.

The basis of Idle Hands,
Kyle from Merkstave,

and Leech, the first people
to live at Burial Grounds.

That's when Matt
from Hell showed up,

he was 16 at the time.

And Matt was full
on 60s, driving VWs.

If you look at a picture
of Matt from 2005 or six,

it looks like it
was taken in the 60s

no matter where he is standing.

And we had already
had house shows,

and been playing Doom Metal
and Matt comes in and he's 16,

he's a fan of Pink Floyd.

And he's just kind of
like, "What the fuck?"

- Before I was writing
songs that were just soft,

just kind of ambient, like
Pink Floyd-y sounding songs.

After I met these guys, I
wrote Hell I in a month.

(intense music)

Paul wanted to show everyone
this music that he was into,

so he goes, "Here Matt,
here's a burned CD."

And it had things like
Burning Witch and Sunn O.

Just real heavy doom shit,
the early 2000 stuff.

If you listen to a
lo-fi doom metal record,

there's the fuzz
of the distortion,

and then there's this deep
throbbing tone underneath it.

And you have to train
yourself to appreciate

that lower tone, 'cause
most people are like,

"Man this sounds like shit."

'Cause they associate
the guitar tone

with this thin fuzz of the
clipping of the distortion.

But we were there when
Matt first was like,

"Oh that's the riff, the heavy
part underneath is the tone."

We're like, "Yeah dude, fucking
doom metal, let's do this."

So we gave him a bunch of acid,

showed him all of
the cultist tapes

straight to the
pure funeral doom.

Drone doom shit.

And so Matt goes home and
listens to that stuff,

and he comes back a few
months later and he is like,

"Hey guys, I want
you to check out

this stuff I've been
writing, it's called Hell.

Just Hell, it's really basic."

And he puts it on and it's...

You know what Hell
I sounds like,

heavy as fuck.

And we're like,
"Dude, what the fuck?

You're 17, this is crazy."

Of course, Paul he's always

masterminding, scheming,

and he's like, "Okay Matt,
you need to focus this,

you need to make
this your thing."

And Matt went with it and
now we have the band Hell.

- I had a good sound on my
recorder I kind of liked,

and I just did that album,
showed it to the guys.

They were like,
"Do another one."

So I did another one and I
guess the rest is history.

(upbeat music)

There was a show happening here,

and I think Thou was
playing that night.

And Nate said, "Hey man,
do you want Hell to play?

'Cause we have an opening spot.

I was like, "Yeah sure,
but we need a backdrop,

and we don't have one,
and all bands have one.

Let's just make our own."

And there wasn't even a talk
about finding any paint,

I was already, yeah, I was
already mutilating at the time

so I was like well let's just,

I gotta go find a sharp
knife and we can cut up

and draw it on the wall.

I had a buddy of mine
that we just sit,

we did that together
as like a fun time.

He came over here and I borrowed
Matthew Thudium's knife,

and then we cut up over here
and just drew it on the wall.

Then he cut too deep, he
had to go to the hospital.

But then I rinsed off
my arm a little bit,

and then we tuned up,
we started playing.

The crowd was feeling it,

the energy was
dark and it was up.

It was just intense.

I was bleeding,
there's all these cuts

and then everybody in the
front row was like grossed out.

They were like "fuck that!"

and there were these
girls, they all left.

And then even the guys
were like, "What the fuck?"

And I was like, "Man,

I thought this was
a brutal place."

I was just trying to make
a fucking backdrop man.

But yeah, people were
grossed out about that,

and then, yeah, so
because of that,

because I cut pretty deep too,

I just got the sleeve to
cover up all those scars

so I got the tattoo
to cover all that up

'cause I don't do
that shit no more.

But yeah, there's a time and
a place for pain I guess.

(upbeat music)

That's all there is
to that (laughs).

(upbeat music)

- It's gonna be
interesting to see

Matthew sitting up there on
a stool, playing Hell songs.

- It was very appropriate to see

Matt playing sitting down.

It was particularly forlorn
in that massive room,

it was crushing.

(upbeat music)

- Hell III was so
low and so dark,

that was such a personal album.

And I had all these
songs I'm like, "Well,

let's just put out a
more of a rocker album.

It's still just, it's a
straightforward doom album."

The newest album is
mostly about war,

it's not anti-war necessarily.

But it's like, it's just
like the process of war,

it's just supposed to
sound brutal like war,

but a doom version of that.

There's a sample
from the Vietnam War

that the Americans used
as a psychological weapon

against the Viet Cong.

And it's this weird
sample of this guy

speaking Vietnamese
like he's dead,

and the Americans played
over a loudspeaker

to try to scare the
soldiers out of the jungle

so they can move through.

And it's all in Vietnamese,

and it's a guy saying
that he is already dead,

and he misses his family.

And he's in Hell,
and he is burning,

and he hates it
and it's so awful.

And he is like,

"If you want to come
here with me then stay,

but if you want to
live then run away."

And "A Wandering Soul" is
just one of those songs

where I knew that I didn't
wanna put any lyrics to it.

It's really eerie sounding.

- It was right before
the first Gilead Fest,

and Ash Borer and Fell Voices

were rehearsing at my
band's practice space.

And they're like, "Oh yeah,

Nate pulled a knife on me
at a party at his house."

He drove to Oshkosh from Salem
for the first Gilead Fest,

'cause he wanted to bring
all of his Mania stuff,

his computers and
all this stuff.

And so this van pulls up

and people are just
tumbling out of this van

that they've been in
for two days straight.

And I was like, "What
is this guy gonna do?"

- In Salem you got
maybe 10 people

that play the style
of music you like.

So you either start five bands,

sharing all of the members,

or you go and just
record your own thing.

And that's what most
people choose to do,

some weird side project.

I think Nate Myers has an IQ
higher than we can understand,

and he has played off this role
of being a party metal guy,

'cause he likes the
simplicity of it

and also the chaos of it.

But really his brain is moving

40 times faster than ours are.

He does do the chaos
for the lifestyle.

When you understand the secrets
of the universe innately

everything is a joke,

so you know why take
yourself too seriously?

- I don't even know how
his brain works that way

to put that stuff together
and then perform it live,

but it does and it's awesome.

- Nate is a nihilist
through and through,

and I feel like you might
even be able to tell

when you first meet him.

Because he is this
certain kind of deadpan,

he's just so straightforward
he's almost robotic.

He's taught me a lot of things,

he talks to me
about the universe

and what he thinks about the
world a lot over the years

as we're making
this kind of music.

And I feel like his music Mania

embodies chaos...

So perfectly,

and that is a very important
concept and principle

to Nate as a person

and how he understands
the universe as well.

- Nate's kind of a conundrum,

in terms of his own
personal philosophy.

I met him in the
context of Leech,

and it was anarcho-primitivism,

abandon the chains
of civilization,

find the spirituality
of the forest,

but he's also tech obsessed.

The mechanics of this
whole mechanized world

that is in the context of
Leech destroying everything.

In Mania maybe this
mechanized world

that he's perversely embracing.

It's hard to say what he
believes in in that regard,

but I fucking love the
confusion that it creates.

- I've always had this idea
that Burzum should play live,

but not have a band
and not play guitar.

He would just be the drummer
with a headset mic singing,

just doing those
screaming vocals.

It'd just be him
alone on a huge stage.

Finally we get the thing
I've been wanting to see.

(intense music)

- My musical journey started
pretty early in life.

My dad bought a drum
kit for the house

and taught me the
basics of drumming.

I met my close friend Andy
Black around that time,

and we even started a band
as early as fourth grade.

- We met through church and
we just started jamming,

and wrote original songs.

We were serious about
it but we were 10.

- Played a couple
rock 'n' roll birthday parties.

- They started a side
band called Love Machine

when we were like 16.
- Yeah,

- Alex left and
I picked up drums

and then switched the
name to Sorceress.

- I was really
inspired by Witch,

and Donova, and Witchcraft.

And we made one album called
"Beneath the Mountain".

Near the end of that band
Matt started doing Hell,

and I went to Germany
and studied the
Bible for six months.

I was rebelling and not thinking
about Christianity at all,

during Love Machine,
Sorceress days.

And then had an experience

where I became really
serious about it,

and fully believed and embraced
the religion for myself

as an adult. It was no
longer my parents' thing.

I moved to go study the Bible
and leave my life behind,

because I was so
newly passionate

about this entirely different
world and lifestyle.

And I was so depressed

but so obsessed

with solving this issue
with my depression

and my doubts of the faith.

And I got really like
dogmatic, and legalistic,

and religious about it all.

And I have this memory of
being in the prayer room,

seeking answers and
feeling terrible.

And all I could do was lay
face down on the ground

in my mind before the Lord.

Sort of like being on your
knees or bowing,

but just I felt so heavy,
and gray, and lifeless,

and I just laid on the
floor for, I don't know,

30, 60 minutes.

And that was my
best effort to pray,

or worship, or make any
headway in this issue.

All I could do was
fucking lay on my face.

So it got really dark
while I was over there.

When I got back I felt the
band was not a direction

I wanted my life to be
going in at the moment.

I felt really convicted
by my new Christian life,

and felt like my dream
of being a rock star

was a prideful, selfish thing

that wasn't necessarily
God's will for my life.

And I was being discipled
by someone in the church,

and I was talking to
him in our meetings

about how difficult it
was getting for me to

do my daily
devotionals every day.

And wake up in the
morning, and read the word

and pray to God, and
take an hour or so

to just align my heart
with with God and the word.

And how that was
just turning into

going through the motions.

And I would sit there at my
desk and stare at the Bible,

and just feel so depressed,
and empty, and frustrated.

And it was clearly no longer a
constructive activity for me.

I guess depending
on the integrity

of your interpretation
of the Bible,

I would say that most
Christians would agree

that spiritual matters and
and Christianity in general

are supposed to be of
the heart and genuine.

And that's the most important
thing in the whole matter.

And my heart was
not there anymore,

and it just seemed
like a hollow ritual.

And I told my mentor this,

and told him that I had started

to record these
extreme metal songs

as a form of prayer to God.

They were all written in the
second person addressed to God,

all those songs on that
first Mizmor album.

So I still really
did feel like I was

doing my best to just honestly
put my heart before God.

He actually told me
that it sounded like

that music was the
most worshipful thing

that I had in my
life at the moment.

And that I should focus
on pressing into that,

and break out of the mold
of going through the ritual

of the daily devotional
and just be honest,

and press into this
music I was making

that was still upward directed
and intended for God's ear.

And that's what I did.

(intense music)

- I love doom metal,
funeral doom metal,

and I love black metal.

And this is just
the best blend of

my favorite two kinds of music.

(intense music)

The name Mizmor means Psalm
and it's written in Hebrew,

and so there's a lot of
Christian Jewish themes

tied up in there.

The black metal sound
is really perfect

for expressing that
kind of emotion.

(intense music)

(intense music)

- Everybody was
skating and barbecuing,

I was just trying to get
a couple of stalls down

and actually follow
through with them,

'cause it's been a long time.

I followed through and owned it,

but then slipped
out, twisted my knee

and then snapped
my leg right there.

- Unfortunately that was
three weeks before this fest.

- Liam gave me a call and
and it was like, "Hey man,

so I've got some bad news."

- He got a full plaster cast,

and it was looking
kind of dismal.

We knew we could do the Hell set

with him playing in a chair,

'cause he plays guitar in Hell.

But to do drums we were
feeling pretty discouraged.

- Yeah, and then I just started
practicing with my left foot

and Nate learned a couple of
songs, and we made it work.

- He had a double
kick pedal set up,

so that he could use his
left foot to do the kick.

- In the span of a few weeks
we ironed the set back out,

and had to reteach songs

that we've already been
working on for almost a year.

Nate did such a good job,
Matt did such a good job.

(upbeat music)

(singer screaming)

- The vocal you're referring
to as the Pterodactyl scream

in my mind is a Nazgul
or Ring Wraith screech

from Lord of the Rings.

And it is a high
pitched inward sound.

It's actually a few
different frequencies

happening at the same time.

But it's just this shriek that
happens from sucking in air,

it goes something
like this (screeches).

- The inward scream
(screeches) (laughs).

(singer screaming)

(intense music)

- Thursday, July 26th,
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Migration Fest 2018,
tonight's the pre-show.

I had to go get a two-tier
synth stand from Zombie,

while I picked up Tanner.

And while I was driving
back from the airport,

I booked two hotel
rooms for Pelican.

Found a Saturday night room
for The Cancer Conspiracy,

and then I started booking
shuttles for bands.

That's all the shit
I did this morning,

and now it's 1:33 and
we're gonna go swimming.

(mellow music)

- We are here at the venue

waiting for the doors to
open so we can set up.

Apparently there's 600
some people coming in.

(upbeat music)

- It truly is like
black metal summer camp.

- There were tons of
people here that were

at the last Migration Fest

across the other
side of the country.

The big reason for that I think

is because of the
social aspect of it.

- Skorpiain is really good
at fucking neck rubs.

- There's a small bug here.

- What am I supposed
to say here?

- Migration Fest,
it's fucking killer.

- It seems like a
welcoming, supportive place.

There's a lot of women
here, which I think is cool.

- I've been drunk forever.

Do people want to know
that about Migration Fest?

- It's the perfect size.

- All these bands
know each other.

- The Gilead bands are
all mostly bands weird,

good, personal
friends with people

we've known for a
really long time.

So it's getting a
chance to just come

and hang out with a bunch
of people we really like.

- It's like a summer
camp for metalheads.

- I'm looking
forward to playing,

we going on at like 2:30.

(upbeat music)

- Lev closed out Saturday

and he's opening up
Sunday with Pyrolatrous.

So I'm really fucking
pumped to see them play

a quick blazing set.

(upbeat music)

- It is so funny because
Lev is always Lev,

he's never gonna do
anything different

'cause it's a different band.

It's like watching him
at Krallice practice,

but with three other
dudes standing around

and playing different songs.

(upbeat music)

- He had this Total
Death Symbolic era,

Chuck Schuldiner on vocals
and I'm like, holy crap,

Pyrolatrous rips.

(upbeat music)

- Forn are one of my
favorite doom bands in the US.

- They're a funeral doom band,

but they're punks.

They have this
weird punky energy,

they're unique in that
aspect, they're heavy as shit.

They're gonna crush you,
they're suffocating.

Take the air out of the room,

but they're also super engaging.

I love that band.

I love them as people.

- A lot of people have
come up to me and said

they cry to our music,

it's pretty powerful
to hear that.

They might not know the
lyrics but they're like,

"I don't even need to know
them, feeling is there."

- Mutilation Rites is playing,

super pumped to see them
play all the new songs,

now that I'm familiar with them.

- Sometimes I feel
like I'm just witness

to a three-way roast.

They're the most
dysfunctional band

that I've ever toured with.

Yeah,

Europe hates Mutilation Rites.

- Yeah.
- For sure.

- It's true.
- Yeah.

- Michael and Ryan
are just always

just tearing each other apart.

And I just sit there and watch,

and just think it's all really
funny, and I just laugh.

And everybody's just calling
each other silly names.

We call Ryan
the Water Buffalo,

we call Tyler Little Chippy.

Michael, oh man, we have a
lot of nicknames for Michael,

Old Man Dipshit, Grandpa
Tea Bags, 'cause he's old.

George just wants
to read his huge,

massive intellectual novels
and plays his computer games.

Mutilation Rites,
old friends of mine,

what I used to call 'em,
filthy New York Black Metal.

Which I think still applies,

despite the amount of death
metal influence in their stuff.

Just awesome fucking
brutal songs.

And George just sounds
like he's gonna throw up

the entire time
he's doing vocals.

Super crushing and engrossing,

I was completely blown away,
it's just so high energy.

Everything sounded great.

Fucking Ryan's vocals were sick.

Every year he gets lower
and lower to the ground,

the mic stand looked like

it was three and a half
feet off the ground.

It was loud as fuck,

which they always have been
every time I've seen them.

(upbeat music)

Ryan who plays bass
is known as the Buffalo

because of his immense
chest and arms.

And when he gets
drunk he charges.

He's probably the only guy
in Mutilation Rites that...

Has a conscience.

- Has a conscience.
- Yeah.

- And at one point was
a decent human being.

The Mutilation Rites
performance at Migration

I was super into,

I kinda love the way you
guys have have transformed,

There's a hell of a
lot more viciousness,

like a pummeling death metal
sort of thing going on.

It's slowly seeping in.

- Most of the lyrics
on the other records

have been very
self-deprecating, depressing.

- On the prior records,

George mainly focused on
his own personal despair,

his depression and sadness.

It's a change of pace now that

we're stepping away from
his personal feelings

and going towards more of a
creative fictional approach.

- George Paul is the
mastermind behind

all the most creative
and intelligent riffs,

I'm the one that writes
the more fun rocking shit.

At the beginning
it was just like

we just wrote a couple songs
and hit the fucking road.

- We would write two songs
and be like, "Perfect,

we've got 20 minutes
of music, let's go."

'Cause it was just an
excuse to travel and party.

- We toured enough times that
when we were in Wisconsin,

people were asking us,
"Did you live here now?

Because you've
played in our state

16 times in the last year."

(crowd cheering)

- Mutilation Rites
is a great band

and we had a great time in
Europe, it was the best.

- That's probably the most
fun tour I've ever been on,

to be honest.

George, you're
dead to me forever.

We are no longer
war medal brothers.

The battle was over when you
hung up your battle jacket.

I know your battle
jacket was falling apart,

it was disgusting and
smelled like a wet dog,

but you're still dead to me.

- Good show today George,

even though you fucked
up that one song.

- I fucked it up, no.

- Yellow Eyes is the tightest,

melodic-ish black metal band
that I've ever seen live.

Those guys are
just so locked in.

- I think there's
something actually special

about Yellow Eyes.

The interplay of guitar work,

and the strangeness of
the melodic sensibility,

and then the smashing
rhythm section.

- I was watching Mike
drumming and I was like,

"That can't be real,

is that guy really
playing drums like this?"

He's not right this guy.

He's like, "Oh, I
play in seven bands."

I was like, "What?

What are you on?

You need to be put away
somewhere, that's not healthy."

- Mike is a caveman and
and loves being a caveman,

all he wants to do
is assault the drums,

and that's very
near and dear to me.

(upbeat music)

- He's the most
intense drummer ever.

He's fucking
pounding everything.

- He's a bestial, Latvian,
god of handsomeness.

- He's kind of like doing this,

and you could see his fucking
veins bulging on his forehead.

He spits out into the
audience, he's like (spits).

You can see the spit land
on someone's fucking neck.

(upbeat music)

- Focus is the word.
- Yeah.

- His personality, he
is focus, in every way.

When we're in the
van, Mike is focus.

Mike wants to go
swimming in the lake

and we go swimming in the lake.

That attitude filtered its way
into the spine of the band.

- Now looking back on it,

I can't quite imagine anything
being done without Mike.

- When they first met
up with me asking me

to play in this band I
gave them the full caveat.

In spirit, I'm happy to do it,
but my sense of time is bad,

I'm sloppy.

I place totally differently
than your old drummer,

I approach everything different
than you've been doing it.

If you think you can work
with that, understanding that,

then yeah, I'm game.

So we agreed and that was that.

(upbeat music)

- That's probably
made an appearance on
most of our albums.

- Austin and Panopticon got
in town when they practiced

at a buddy's place,
at John Kerr's place.

I have no idea what
they're gonna do.

(mellow music)

- The second Gilead Media Fest,

Adam came to me and was like,

"Hey dude, I want
you to perform live."

For me the record
is like therapy,

whether it be political, or
emotional, or philosophical.

I've already covered it,

did the record and
I got it all out,

and I talked about the
issues that I have,

and I moved on.

And he said, "I think that
you don't want to play live

'cause you're afraid."

And he was right.

I didn't wanna play live

because I didn't wanna
be in front of people.

Not feeling like I
deserved that space.

I felt like the
best place for me

was behind this curtain
of recording equipment

and the microphone.

He's like, "Man, the
music that you're making

resonates with other people.

It's not just about
your perspective

and your emotional release.

It's about how other
people take it in

and perceive that music."

My band photos were
always just of my back

with something beautiful in
front of me to obscure me.

It didn't make any sense
for me to be up in front

of a bunch of people and
be like, "Hey look at me."

That's not the
message of Panopticon.

The band has always been
about this broader concept,

and I'm just trying
to direct you to that.

And he was like, "Nah man,

I think you're afraid."

And then he brings it home with,

"When you get old and you
look back on your life,

you're always gonna wonder
what would've happened

if I had done that."

And fuck,

that really hit me hard,

what if?

What could I have done

if I had just mustered
up the courage to do it?

(upbeat music)

The second Migration Fest for us

is one of the best
shows we played.

Feeling that sense of community,
being there with everybody,

it has the same feeling
as a basement show,

just a family reunion and
a whole bunch of friends.

I always thought that live
Panopticon would be this stoic,

emotionally charged,
pensive kind of thing.

And instead it's a lot of
friends being together,

playing songs that
are very serious.

But being able to have
a sense of levity,

make light of something
that's so heavy.

Being in an environment where
you can be really honest

about your feelings but not
be weighed down by them.

(upbeat music)

- I love having someone
like Austin and his music,

and Panopticon,

and all the guys that
in Panopticon live too,

fucking great people.

- Mr. Smalls was a killer venue.

The sound was just incredible,

and that high
ceiling was perfect,

the acoustics were great.

- It was so beautiful,

a really truly incredible venue.

(upbeat music)

- Panopticon is a
great American band

that are building an American
mythology that can be used

in their version of
spiritual mythological music.

Which I think is very exciting,

and I hope it will catch on.

Austin is the spearhead
of a bigger movement,

because I'd really like to
see where that can head.

It would be great if
all those resources

that are in the US now being

spent on Scandinavian
heritage...

Could be focused on
American heritage,

I think that would be beautiful.

(mellow music)

What Austin is doing with
the American mythology

that it's possible to have
that thought in your head

and at the same time
have a critical look

at the birth of America.

And I think that could be
a positive contribution

to what's coming in America.

It seems so divided,

and a lot of that has
to do with the history.

Not having sort of a mythology,

and not having a
cultural common past

is part of the lack of glue.

♪ Well he came from far off ♪
over behind the hills ♪

♪ And he's raise by
the silent stars ♪

♪ And the sounds of
the whippoorwill ♪

♪ He's drifting slowly ♪

♪ In search of hope and wealth ♪

♪ Trading in poverty and ♪
scenery for money and Hell ♪

♪ He's just the young ♪
man, still in his prime ♪

♪ Now faceless cog in ♪
some old factory line ♪

♪ He's got a fuller wallet ♪

♪ He's far from home ♪

♪ Evening whiskey ♪

♪ That he'll drink alone ♪

♪ The years passed
by, as they often do ♪

♪ Autumn's grays
and winter's blues ♪

♪ His memories fade
in the pastel hues ♪

♪ The mountains and hollers
his childhood knew ♪

♪ He died cold one night
in the cinder block room ♪

♪ Some say his heart just quit ♪

♪ Beneath the concrete
and steel city lights ♪

♪ Before the first frost ♪

♪ But I knew that wasn't it ♪

- The reason that I convinced
Liam or Austin to play live,

their art is too important.

It needs to be shared,

it needs to be
appreciated in a crowd.

And like Couch Slut, that art
is so intensely personal,

so meaningful on this
fundamental level.

If you know about Liam, or
Austin, or Megan's content,

you know that that's very
powerful stuff for them,

and things that they have
to do to cope with existing.

♪ Upon his last breath ♪

♪ In those twilight
moments of existence ♪

♪ He died from a broken heart ♪

♪ From no mountains
in the distance ♪

♪ It's true, it's the vile
hum and the grinding gears ♪

♪ And the oppressive weight
of concrete and steel ♪

♪ It wore down his soul
until it was flat ♪

♪ It crushed his heart
through a broken back ♪

♪ And they buried him there
in a stranger's grave ♪

♪ His proud mountains
so far away ♪

♪ The factories closed,
the building burned ♪

♪ And they left all its
things out on the curb ♪

♪ Sometimes you'll see
him on a darkened road ♪

♪ His lonely ghost
wandering home ♪

I've wanted to stop
the label for years,

but there's something
about it that I can't stop,

I'm addicted to it.

That's why I put out
15 records last year,

and now I'm watching some
of these bands right now,

and having uncontrollable
emotional responses to it.

Those moments like
that at the festival

are why I just can't stop...

Yet.

- Emma Ruth Rundle's
gonna play first,

then after her Thou's
gonna play their set.

So whatever you want to donate

to the former earplug
container thing here

will be much appreciated
for the bands.

♪ Run little sister,
run so fast ♪

♪ I see he's gaining on you ♪

♪ Take a breath
and make it last ♪

♪ The dark water horizon ♪

♪ Smile like you
mean it and just ♪

♪ Cast the light of
hell right out of here ♪

♪ No one else can see it's ♪

♪ the shape that makes you
fall on fallow ground ♪

- So today we've
been open four days

at the new-ish location.

We started moving
on Monday the 18th,

and then reopened on the 22nd.

Four days to pack up,
move, unload, reorganize,

and open the store.

- The new space is great,
it's obviously a lot larger

and it's more like a
real record store now.

♪ It's the darkhorse
you give legs to ♪

♪ no one else can ride ♪

♪ In the wake of
strange beginnings ♪

♪ we can still stand high ♪

- Wow, this is amazing.

Look what my son did (laughs).

- Give me a tissue,
I'm so proud mama.

♪ Sing a song, a
verse unhinged ♪

♪ passed down from our mother ♪

♪ Take a breath
and make it count ♪

♪ And learn to sing another ♪

♪ Try 'cause we need to ♪

♪ And just laugh the life
of hell right out of here ♪

♪ No one else can see him ♪

♪ The shape that makes you
fall on fallow ground ♪

My son is awesome, he's cool,

he's doing what he loves.

If he makes a bunch of money
at it and can live off it,

at least he's happy
with what he's doing.

Sometimes I wonder if he is
really happy with it all,

because it is a lot of stress.

He's not working in a
factory grinding metal

or cutting wood.

'Cause that's what
people do in Oshkosh,

it's a lumber's town.

I'm glad he stayed in
Oshkosh 'cause I know he,

at one point he had
mentioned the possibility

of going up to Minneapolis area.

So I'm glad he didn't do that
because I would've missed him.

This is his hometown and he
belongs here and it needed this,

it needed this store.

♪ It's you and I ♪

♪ It's you and I ♪

♪ It's you and I ♪

♪ You and I ♪

(audience applauding)