All language subtitles for Alone.S11E03.Fortune.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX

Oh.

Whoo-hoo!

That's a good meal.

It's all new to me, all of it.

But I was raised for
this type of situation.

Mm, man.

Oh, it's twisted up.

This is the real deal, people.

It is cold.

There's a lot of work to do.

One of these days.

Is this really worth it?

Season after season, they
talk about drop shock.

But I didn't think
that that meant

they would be
rethinking their lives.

Just keep pushing.

That's all I got to
do, just keep pushing.

Damn it.

All the things to do.
It can get overwhelming.

Never had so much trouble

getting a fire going in my life.

But it's me
second-guessing myself.

Hey, bear.

Can't wait for daylight.

I'm not tapping out.

I'd rather die.

Here goes nothing.

Whoa!

Yes!

Holy [bleep].

This is the harshest
location possible.

We're 125 miles in
the Arctic Circle.

Never had an environment

make me feel like a
complete amateur before.

Everything is
against us out here.

Mother Nature went
and bitch-slapped me.

Looks like got grizzlies
and wolves as my neighbors.

Holy crap.

They're just hunting
the shoreline.

Mother Nature is about
to dim the lights on us.

We're heading into
total darkness.

Hey, bear.

The cold and the dark is
going to sap people's souls.

Really makes you wonder
if it's worth it.

There is no camera crew.
There's no support system.

I'm completely alone.

Yes!

People go in one way...

Stop bleeding.

And they come out
entirely different.

This is the most difficult
survival challenge

in the world.

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

$500,000.

That's completely
life-changing money.

It's beautiful.

Whoever can thrive the longest.

Stay out here, you ought
to be afraid of me.

Whoever can push through...

Wins.

I hope I've made the right
choice coming out here.

Morning.

You ever peed in a gas can?

It's actually quite
handy, because...

it was really cold
last night and windy.

Didn't even have to leave
my shelter to take a leak.

Super classy.

Yeah.

If it wasn't for
this sleeping bag,

last night would have been...

Would have been really tough.

That wind just kind of
goes through you, so.

Yeah, we got to get moving
on that other shelter.

Today is a get-stuff-done
kind of day.

I don't want to get sucked
down that rabbit hole

to where all I can think
about is my shelter.

But right now, it's
hard for me to ignore it

because winter is coming.

It's coming hard, and
I have to be prepared.

All these willows and alders
are sure turning yellow.

So the plan for all this
is attempting to make

the warmest shelter
that this show's seen.

So we're gonna be cutting out

a pretty good
section of this hill.

I want to build a super shelter.

I want a large frame.

And it's just gonna get
colder and colder and colder.

So what I think I'm gonna do is

a 10x10 or a 10x13 frame.

Then I'll be able to start
adding walls to the inside

to provide more insulation
as it gets colder.

So I can keep
working on my shelter

even as the winter
starts to set in.

But you got to keep in mind

we are...

I think 125 miles above
the Arctic Circle.

It's about to get really cold.

Be nice once I
finish the shelter,

won't have to worry
so much about animals.

And this place is
gonna be bomb-proof.

I'm not sure how many
calories I'm burning,

but it's definitely more
than I'm putting in.

So I just got to be slow...

a little slower
with my movements.

Still get it done,
but think it through.

Don't waste... don't
waste any energy.

This shelter, it's gonna
be a challenge, for sure.

But nothing's harder than what
I've already been through.

The most devastatingly
terrible time in my life

was when my brother was
killed by a distracted driver.

I think about Josh every day.

I haven't healed barely at all.

For me, it's just an open wound.

I try to be the tough
one of the family

and handle certain things

that I don't think that
they should have to see.

Like can someone go get
the stuff out of his car?

But washing your brother's
blood off your hands

isn't something you easily
get out of your head.

But as a result,

you can't throw
a challenge at me

that's gonna be harder than
what I've already endured.

I'm gonna drink some
water and take a break.

That's one
sloppy-looking gillnet.

Gillnet deployment.

I'm sure there's a lot
of people looking at

this gillnet right now saying,

"Dub, that thing looks...

like absolute garbage."

And I tend to agree with you,
if that's what you're saying.

But it's gonna work.

Come on, baby.

Get down there.

It's just not sinking.

Come on, dude.

, that looks like [bleep].

Put that right there.

There we go.

Bet you there's a
fish in that tomorrow.

Oh, yeah.

I feel very good about this.

But I'm starting
to get delirious

'cause I'm so damn hungry.

I spent some time
making this shelter.

It's semi-safe from
grizzly attacks.

That's good enough for me.

So now I need to start
focusing on food.

What was I getting?

I was getting my
fishing lure right here.

Haven't had food to cook yet.

Just mushrooms, lots of berries.

I need some fish, man.

All right, we're live.

Food procurement day
has officially begun.

I am extremely
confident in my fishing.

When I was a fly fishing
guide, I mean, I never,

in 15 solid years of taking

hundreds and hundreds of people,

never did I have somebody
not catch a fish.

Ooh, something's coming.
I can see its wake.

Come on, eat it, eat it.

Dammit.

Holy [bleep].

There's ducks coming.

.

Dang, I could have shot.

But, man, I would have
been risking my arrow.

Maybe I should have
just kept my mouth shut,

they might have
landed right here.

Oh, dude.

Oh, [bleep].

There's something moving
in the river over there.

Dude.

There's definitely something
moving in the river.

Whatever it is, I want it.

Oh!

Oh.

.

Missed it.

. I need that arrow.

.

No.

Dude, I might have
to swim for that.

OK.

I'm getting that damn arrow.

I cannot lose that arrow.

I'll literally have
one flu-flu left.

Ah, it's gonna be so cold.

Oh.

Ooh.

Ooh!

This.

Oh.

What a disaster.

I got the arrow.

That was such an easy
opportunity at ducks, dude.

I blew it.

Oh, I freaking blew it.

All three of those ducks...

were at about ten yards or less.

Super easy shot.

For some reason,

I kept waiting for that
last one to clear the log,

thinking maybe I could hit
two of them with one shot.

So I didn't...

that was a spur-of-the-moment
bad decision.

I should have just
shot the one duck.

And I would be
plucking it right now.

That adrenaline rush
is what gets you, man.

That's what hunters
are addicted to.

I'm just glad I
got my damn arrow.

All right, let's
go back to fishing.

Until another opportunity
presents itself.

All right, guys.

There it is.

Our table's done.

Now I can lay my stuff
up here and not lose it.

Awesome.

Let's go here,
smoke this squirrel.

Got him.

Little feller.

Right in the head.

All right, guys.

Today, in Dusty's
soup kitchen...

we are having
another fuzzy butt.

Nah, nah, nah!

My belly's been hurting
since this morning.

I don't know what's
going on there.

I think I'm just hungry.

What we're gonna do here,

run your knife through here...

like so.

You pull his britches
and his shirt off.

Don't get no hair in it.

Try not to. You will
get hair on it, though.

Can't really keep from it.

Tear the little head off.

You know what that's
gonna be for...

bait.

Pull his legs out.

Like my grandpa showed
me how to skin squirrel.

All right, now you take your
thumb and pointer finger there

and you squeeze real hard and
pull, and there's his tail.

I haven't got any fish, but...

All right. That's that, guys.

He's skinned up, ready to
stick on a stick and roast.

But first...

What we're gonna do here...

ooh, me.

Nice fish hook.

And we'll sit here and file
this down a little bit.

Maybe I can sew with it.

So far, I've got four squirrels,

and I'm not about wasting.

Get some of our moss...

We're gonna cram it down in
Old Fuzzy Tail's britches here.

So I want to use
every bit of it.

Just like so.

Just stuff him full here.

My first memory in nature is

I remember my grandpa taking
me out squirrel hunting.

I mean we could have shot I
don't know how many squirrels.

But we sit there and just
enjoyed watching them.

Oh, yeah, that works.

It's just enjoyment
of nature itself.

It's wonderful.

Y'alls heard of a hacky sack?

Well, here's my squirrely sack.

I got to do it. I'm sorry.

Perfect.

All right.

Hey, guys.

So I'm here on the
edge of the lake.

I've got my duck decoys out.

And I'm waiting
for a duck to come.

There's some ducks over there.

I'm gonna pack up and then
start picking some berries.

I still haven't
caught any protein.

I'm moving the fish net around

and I haven't found a
good spot for it yet.

So I'm a little concerned.

I need more food.

I was just thinking,
traditionally,

Cree people were nomadic.

And they would keep moving camp

until they found a suitable

fishing, hunting,
or gathering area.

But then, of course,
the treaties came in.

And the treaties
forced the Cree people

to certain areas of land
called reservations.

Mostly, they were not
ideal pieces of land.

I was thinking of that because

I wish that I could keep moving

and find a better fishing spot.

But alas, I'm here.

I was given this plot of land,
and this is where I must stay.

OK, so this is really exciting.

I am out here berry picking,

and I keep seeing
this like, dead plant

that looks very familiar.

And then I realize...

this right here is burdock.

And burdock has an edible root.

So I got myself a digging stick,

and I'm going to dig it.

These roots are full
of carbohydrates.

They're a really good
source of energy for me.

So they've got these
yellow taproots

that I can cook up and eat.

Ever since I was a child,

I've always loved having
my hands in the mud.

That's just where
I'm most happy at.

It's valuable that I
know all these plants,

and I've taken so many
years to study them

because these plants are
going to feed me and heal me.

I really need these
plants right now.

So there you go.

Some burdock root.
Oh, my gosh, my hands.

That's what you
get when you dig.

OK, let's go back and
then cook up some roots.

I'm just working on
a quick hand line

so I can do some fishing today.

This will work.

All right, I'm just gonna
work on this fishing lure.

Got two good hooks.

Got paracord to make my gillnet,

which I'm gonna start, probably
not... ah, maybe today.

Today or tomorrow.

All I need is one fish.

Once I get one fish, then
I can use it as bait.

I've had, so far, nothing
but food failures.

But I'm trying not to
let it discourage me.

I just need one success.

Just one success, and I
will feel much better.

This lure will have
two treble hooks on it.

A treble hook is like three
fishing hooks stuck together,

all sort of facing
away from each other.

So no matter how the
fish bites your lure,

it's gonna get stuck
on one of those hooks.

OK. There we go.

All right, should we
try it out? Let's do it.

One of my best survival
skills would be fishing.

I've been fishing since
I was a little kid.

You know, my dad used
to take me fishing.

It's hard to explain what it
is about fishing that I love.

It's kind of the
thrill, you know.

You never know when
you reel that rod in,

you know, it's like a chase.

It's a game, us versus them.

If there's water
with fish in it,

I am 100% confident that
I could catch a fish.

I'll take a few casts.

I'm probably down
five pounds already.

I just need to
catch that one fish.

Once I can set some lines
out with bait on it,

then the fish are
just gonna roll in.

Oh, God.

Did you see that?

This land takes
a lot out of you.

I'm really hoping
that I won't fall into

this sort of dreadfulness

where I feel like
nothing is working

and then I just keep,
like, failing at things.

I don't consider myself to be

a overly emotional human being.

But there's something
about being out here,

surviving on your own,
that makes you feel.

It's probably a good thing.

I don't think I
felt enough before.

When I was a kid, I
lived with my mom.

She loved having fun, you know?

Her and her boyfriend fell
into some tough times,

and I was exposed to
a lot of bad habits

and not nice people for
a few years of my life.

Didn't last too long.

She was able to get herself
out of that situation.

But for a few years
there, that was tough.

And that experience really
taught me that you...

you know, you're bombarded
by these feelings

and you just want to
not feel them anymore.

And as a parent, I want to
protect my kids from sadness,

from grief, just
by encouraging them

to put those emotions away,
which is what I do to myself.

Oh.

Got one.

Get up here.

Oh, it's a pike. It's
a pike, it's a pike!

No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, I need you.

Oh, wow!

Look. I got it.

I got a pike.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh, finally.
Finally got a pike.

Oh.

You're not going anywhere.
You're... you're mine.

Oh.

Oh, this pike is huge.

It's five days of feeling
like all I do is fail.

Pike soup for dinner.

Late night pike soup.

I'm gonna get maybe four...

four setlines out tonight
hopefully before it gets dark.

And then I'm gonna check
the setlines tomorrow.

I think we're gonna be
on a roll from now on.

I get one of these a
day, I'm here forever.

Good morning, everybody.

It's feeling like a damn
good day for some food.

Not sure how we're
gonna get it yet,

but I know we're gonna get it.

It's chilly out.

But the first item

on the agenda is to
check the gillnet.

I've bet my life fishing
and teaching people fishing.

And I've not caught fish yet.

It's frustrating.

So I'm hoping for a steady
pike supply in the gillnet,

cause I'm really hungry.

Lookit.

Whiskey jacks coming
in. Coming in hot

and they're peeping my
gillnet net hard, dude.

That's a good sign.
They're on my gillnet.

What the hell, man?

They like something over there.

Let's go see what it likes.

We might have a
fish in there, brah.

We might have a pike.

Oh. I see a fish head, dude.

Boom.

Boomshakalaka.

Check that out.

That's a big lunker.

Right there, baby.

Hell yes.

Gillnet works.

I'm excited to finally
have fish to eat.

Sweet [bleep],
that's a big pike.

It's hard when you're under
constant pressure all day,

every day to provide
food, to provide fire,

to make sure my shelter is good.

Everything that is involved
with survival is hard,

and it's on your
back at all times.

It never goes away.

All right, Wyatt.

Challenging you to
the big pike contest.

I don't know who's winning.

I think it's a close...
it's a close call, man.

Look at that beauty.

Ooh! Big dog.

Get my pot, and
we'll cook him up.

I'll take this over
a duck any day.

Wow!

I'm gonna scale it first.

When it comes down to it,

it's just me
competing against me.

Can I take it?

Can I be the last one to tap?

This'll be half the
pike in this pot.

That's a lot of calories.

That's a frickin' lot of meat.

You notice a lot of
times on the show,

a lot of people decide
to try to preserve food.

And inevitably, animals get it.

So my strategy is to eat
my food and not stash it.

I think the best place for my
food to be safe is in my body.

At the end of the day, the
more I get into my body,

the longer I last.

Let's eat.

Oh, my word.

Please just get into my mouth.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, dude.

That's so good.

Make way!

That'll do, pig.

This project is taking

a little more time
than I would like,

but it's got to be done,
it's got to be done.

You got to set these posts.

And then we can put the
support beams across.

Let's get it.

I am starting out with
digging some holes

for the four corner posts.

Pretty close.

I'm gonna need the main
frame to be pretty strong

because there's gonna be a
lot of weight going on it

just because of
all the insulation,

everything I'm adding.

So it needs to be pretty hefty.

You know what? That's
just about good.

The shelter's coming along.

It's turning out
pretty good, I think.

It's a lot of work,
but winter's coming.

Huh.

I have to be careful here

because season after
season after season,

a lot of people go
home because they spend

way too much time
working on their shelter.

But everyone who's a fan of
the show knows Rock House

because of how
much it stood out.

And I think I can outdo it.

But this is a huge
caloric expenditure.

The amount of work that
I've put into the shelter

and the lack of calories
I have right now,

this isn't sustainable.

Cool.

But any edge that I
can get to try to win,

gonna do it.

I'm gonna do a quick tripod.

Gonna cut some wood.

Ain't gonna be fancy.

All right.

That's not bad.

I can hear something.

Every time I see a
squirrel, they disappear.

Let's take a look.

Squirrel still just
snacking in those trees.

Got him. Got him, got
him, got him, got him,

got him, got him, got him!

Yes!

Got one.

Yeah.

Tiny little guy.

Here, wait. Uh...

let me get my...

Let me get my hat, so I
look like a big game hunter.

This hat belonged
to my brother, Josh.

Tell you one thing, my
brother would have loved this.

I'm gonna clean him up
and throw him in the pot.

When I shot him, I shot him
in one of his front arms.

So I might actually
spare one of the arms

and use it for bait.

Maybe we'll be able to catch
a pike off of some of him.

There you go.

It is time to cook
that squirrel.

I said it before that God
doesn't speak to you more

when you're outdoors, it's
just easier to hear him.

I didn't come here
to talk to God.

I came here so I
could hear my brother.

Positive my brother is watching.

100%.

I'm really looking
forward to eating.

I think it's important
to try to enjoy

certain moments like these.

We've been trying so
much to have a baby.

We finally had Caroline.
We're still trying.

But Caroline was a
miracle that we had her.

Really was.

And everything goes
from miscarriage

to miscarriage to miscarriage

and then two days before
I left to come here,

had another miscarriage.

Stuff just sucks.

Sometimes you just
need a win, you know?

Winning $500,000 would
be huge to my wife and I,

because our daughter
was born through IVF,

and that's a pretty
expensive process.

It set us back,
financially, pretty far.

If we want more kids,

the only way that we
could afford to do it

is for me to win.

And so I can't afford to lose.

Let's go work for maybe
another hour, call it a day.

Is it just me, or
does it look like

that line might be moving?

Think we got a fish.

We got a fish, we got
a fish, we got a fish.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

Got him! Oh, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

! Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh! Are you kidding me?

Ah!

Oh, are you kidding me?

I caught a pike.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, man.

I'm one lucky guy.

Man, today is the day.

Ooh-wee.

All right, gillnet time.

Over, and over, and over again,

until we are done.

I put a lot of effort
into this gillnet.

I really hope it pays off.

All right. Let's go check our
gillnets and our setlines.

Got us that pike yesterday.

If there was a fish in here,
I'm gonna have to definitely

consider the idea of
building a smoker.

So I've got enough
food for today already.

Well, there's definitely
something on that setline.

Oh, my God. It's...
it's a baby pike.

Let me check the gillnet.

Oh, there's a fish
in my net, too.

This is great.

What's that?

That's a pike.

Something on this one, too.

Oh, yeah. Come on, come on.

What the... it's a burbot!

Got a burbot.

Look at the size of this burbot.

Oh, that is so cool.

I'm working up a
sweat. It is warm.

I'm gonna take off my sweater.

And what's on the setline?

Oh, my God!

Oh... whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where you going?
Where you going?

Oh, my God. Definitely
need a smoker.

One more line to check.

Oh, it's just as big.

Oh, no. He got off.

No, no, no, no, no.
Nope, nope, nope.

You're not going nowhere.

Yes!

I'm gonna say I've got 20
pounds of meat right now.

This is the biggest
pike I've ever seen.

Look at the teeth...

On that pike. Do you see them?

Told you I just
needed that one fish.

Well, I like when
my day plans itself.

All right, let's
get these fish up,

get to working on a smoker.

I wasn't expecting to get
so much food so quickly.

That's a bit overwhelming.

I've caught five fish today.

And it's kind of like,

yes, I want to catch
all those fish,

but it's also, like, a lot of
work to keep them preserved.

So I'm just gonna build
a teepee style smoker,

and then I'll weave
some willows into it

and cover it with moss

and repurpose my
raincoat for the top.

Just gonna use snare wire
to suspend the fish from.

You know, my biggest
concern now is

keeping this food from spoiling

and keeping it safe from bears.

Before, I wasn't
worried about bears,

but now everything
smells like fish

and I'm worried that that
will attract predators.

I need to get these
fish preserved,

and I need to build
a way to keep them

out of reach of bears
and other animals.

And I need to make sure
that I'm managing the scent

and that I don't bring it
back to my shelter with me.

Those fish are gonna be
necessary for the long run.

You got to catch fish early

and preserve them
for the winter.

I'm gonna have to build
like, a real door for it,

but I think this will
be good for tonight.

I'm exhausted.

And I've got all night

because I've got to
stay up with the smoker,

so I'll be up for a long time.

Whoa!

Oh, yeah.

Good morning.

I'm gonna go and cook
up a fish for breakfast.

But first of all, I'm gonna
go and check my rabbit snares.

I get excited over
nature because

I grew up in a really
remote community and...

there was just
nothing else to do.

There was no, like, game
halls or movie theaters,

just a fish plant and houses
and that was it, so...

I got two rabbit
snares over here.

Oh.

Just look what I got here.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Look at that. That is
a beautiful rabbit.

Oh.

First rabbit here
in the north land,

200 kilometers north
of the Arctic Circle.

Whoo-whoo!

Look at that.

Oh. Two meals, there.

Whoo.

In my community, nature
brought life to people.

You're hunting and you're
fishing all the time,

and this is the same food

you're bringing back
into your house.

And so nature is a provider,
like a joint garden.

Yes, sir.

You look after nature,

nature will always
feed you back.

Marvelous. Just marvelous.

Dig a hole down in there.

And you see, I got
birch bark in there

to keep it dry from the rain.

Put rocks on the outside of it

and stick the end of a
tree in there as well.

This will be good
for a few days yet.

Oh, breakfast.

Breakfast of berries.

Mmm.

I love berries.

And then...

I have a bunch of root soup.

Ugh.

It just has a strange flavor
when you eat it like that.

Ah.

OK.

Now I have a full belly.

Well, I'm off to
check the fishnet.

Hopefully there's a fish

and I can eat something
other than berries and roots.

There's just limits to my body

and limits to the amount
of calories that I have.

So I really hope that
I can get a fish soon.

Let's see.

I have a fish in my net, guys.

I have a fish.

Holy [bleep].

There's a fish in the net.

Oh.

Look at that!

Oh.

Whoo.

Check it out, people.

I got a monster pike.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

, Creator.

Wow.

I'm so grateful. I'm
happy that I've got food.

Oh, man. I've been
waiting for this.

There's something
special about this place.

It feels like home in a way.

There's something about it

that I remember
deep in my memories,

that I've been here
before somehow.

In a way, we're all
Indigenous people.

We all come from a background
of living off the land.

So we're all part of it.

I feel kind of sick.

If I'm gonna puke, I better
puke away from the fish.

Ugh. [bleep].

Ugh, my berry
breakfast. And roots.

Well, maybe the
fish will like that.

First puke of "Alone."

Oh.

I think I ate those
roots too fast today.

Well, I feel slightly better.

Oh, man.

But it might come back.

Oh, that sucks.

OK, first thing is
the fish head soup.

So you got to cut
off the fish head.

I want to eat the
fish head first

because it has the most fat.

Full of a lot of nutrients
that need right now.

Would you like to know how to
properly de-bone a jackfish?

Here you go.

So first thing is...

you find the center back
line and cut along here.

OK. And then you feel
along the middle here.

You can see these tiny,
little white dots.

That is the center bone.

So start cutting along it.

With this fish,
I feel physically

I can stay out here,
I can keep going,

I can push myself more.

I can keep living here.

My first fish of the
Mackenzie River Delta.

We are back in business.

I am so proud and I
want to be a role model

not just for my family,
but for my whole community.

I want to inspire them
to get out into the land

and spark something in people
to really push themselves.

All right, there's my
first processed fish.

It's a big jackfish.
I've got it all cut up.

Now I'm gonna go
back to my shelter.

And then I'm gonna make a soup.

All right. Let's
build us a ladder.

Keep the food out of
the way of the animals.

I'm constantly worried about
the smell attracting bears.

So I'm just gonna cut a
real basic notch in here.

Just to hold the rung in
place while I lash it.

Oh, I'm so tired.

I don't know if it's
'cause I'm working,

you know, 18 hours a day
'cause of the extra sunlight,

or if I'm not sleeping.

But here, you don't get breaks.

You're foraging, you're fishing,

you're hunting, you're building.

You're just constantly busy.

Ow.

Oh, that's a bleeder.

All right. Let's see
what the damage is.

I don't know why it's
bleeding so much.

I don't think it's that bad.

You know, if I was at home,
my son would be in the room

asking me if I was OK
and if I needed any help.

He's such an empathetic guy.

OK, now I got a
Band-Aid on this one

and get back to work.

My son, Ethan, he's
a very honest kid.

Not just like,
telling the truth,

but he's very like,
emotionally honest,

and I'm the opposite.

Oh, sorry if I sound bummed-out
and tired all the time.

I'm usually a much,
you know, funnier guy.

It's just exhausting, man.

I've always been the
kind of person who, like,

doesn't want to show feelings.

So it's a bit weird seeing
him express those feelings.

And a lot of times, I'll
just try to get him to stop.

Looks like a ladder to me.

Because I think
that encouraging him

to not show those emotions is
the same as not having them.

Maybe if he can bury
those things like I do,

then he won't be sad anymore.

I don't know if that's
the right decision,

but it's a way for
me to protect him.

All right.

One rickety ladder.

Oh, God, my pants
are so blood-stained.

Let's go check my setlines.

I hope I have some more
success with those.

I think the hardest
thing out here is

just worrying about
what's gonna happen next.

You wake up, you work
until you go to bed,

but it's never enough.

You always got to do more work,

and you're always worrying about

what's gonna happen
the next day.

Let's see what we got.

Oh, no.

Oh. I pulled him in too slow.

I lost that fish.

Let's check the next one.

Just not thinking
straight. It's bizarre.

I think one of the
hardest challenges

I've faced since
becoming an adult

is trying to figure out
how to be a good parent,

how to be a good
dad for my kids.

It's pretty stressful knowing
that every decision you make

is gonna impact them somehow.

You only get one chance.

And knowing that you
only get one chance

is what makes being
a parent so hard.

Let's try this one.

I'll try to pull this
one a little faster.

There's definitely a fish on it.

Let's see what we
have for breakfast.

My family means
everything to me.

Everything I do, I think about,

what can I show my kids?

What example can
I be for my kids?

Oh.

No? Nothing?

Oh.

All right, last one. Let's
go check the last one.

And now I feel like
I'm questioning,

am I treating them
correctly? Am I helping them?

And my son, he
feels big feelings,

and I've never
been able to relate

or empathize with him.

I feel terrible.

I feel this overwhelming
sense of failure.

Come on. Oh.

Nothing? Oh, no.

These emotions are
taking over my mind.

Let's get back to camp.

Hang out in the
shelter for a bit.

I'm trying to fight
those feelings.

But it's hard.

It's like all the barriers
that I've been putting up

to stop myself from feeling
this way don't work here.

I have no control over
my mind right now.

It's just being
constantly flooded

by these feelings of
just sadness and grief.

And it's just getting
worse and worse.

There's nothing I
can do to stop it.

Is it on? OK, good.

Just sitting by the river.

Some ducks in the water.

I came out here to test
my survival skills,

and I think they're good.

My shelter is warm,
my bed is comfortable,

my belly is full of fish.

But my heart, man,
my heart is so empty.

Emotionally weak.

But what this is doing
to me emotionally,

I can't handle every day.

It's weird, being someone who's
always kept things inside.

And to have, like,
eight days of just

complete emotional release,
I was absolutely not...

not ready or expecting this.

Been married 15 years.

She's never seen me cry.

I'm gonna come clean.

I've cried every day
since coming here.

I'm concerned it's just
gonna keep getting worse

to the point where I can't
function when I get home.

I need to be there for my family

and I need to fix my
relationship with them.

And I feel like all
those things are at risk

right now if I stay out here.

It's time to go home, I think.

Hi, this is Peter.

I'm officially tapping out.

Oh, well, you know,
I came out here

because I wanted to put my
survival skills to the test.

And... and it did.

And I think... I think
my skills succeeded.

It's just I was
not at all prepared

for the emotional challenge
of being out here.

Nothing's ever triggered
anything like this,

but this experience just
brought all those old memories

and all those suppressed
feelings to the surface,

and I never spent
any time in my life

ever trying to cope with
them or managing them.

I just hid them. And
now... now they're here.

I never thought that
I would ever give up.

I thought that I was good
enough to be out here forever.

And I didn't think I would
defeat myself out here.

I guess the only one who can
defeat me is me, I guess.

It's sad, just
thinking that, like,

if I had just not been
the kind of person

who was ashamed of
feeling sadness,

none of this would be happening

and I'd still be out there.

But I feel like
I've let myself down

and I feel like
all of these things

that are happening to me
right now are my own fault.

But I feel more like
a complete human now.

I feel more like a
well-rounded human

than I was before.

I've gone from elite
survival robot to human.

This experience
changed all of that.

From now on, I'm not
going to bury emotions.

I think I'm going
to bring them out.

And I'm going to deal
with them as they come.

I think this is gonna help
me better understand my son.

Him knowing that he can
express feelings to me

without being judgmental
or not understanding,

I think that'll
bring us even closer.

There's no other
circumstances that

would have led to me coming
to any of these realizations.

It was necessary to come
out here and be alone

and to discover
all these things.

People are gonna look at this

and they're gonna see
someone who quit on day eight

and they're gonna think that

it's an issue with survival.

But I think that most
people don't realize is that

"Alone" isn't a
show about survival.

"Alone" is a show about people

who just happened to be
surviving completely alone.

And when you view the
show in that lens,

you realize it's
about ten humans

and how they're coping
with themselves.

Then you truly understand
what the show is about.

I'm not worried
about being judged.

I just need to be
better for my family...

And I'm happy with that.

What I'm gonna do
to wash my clothes,

I'm just gonna boil them.

Just drop 'em in
there for a minute.

Ah, [bleep]!

Oh, my god. Empty.

It's one thing getting food.

But looking after it is
almost a bigger challenge.

God, please help
me kill this moose.