All language subtitles for 9.1.1.S07E09.ELEANOR+FLUX+KiNGS.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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I'm often asked...

... what is it that makes us different?

What separates firefighters
from ordinary citizens?

The answer is simple.

We will go where others will not.

Today, we honor those
members of the LAFD

who acted so courageously

during the Oceanus Blue cruise
ship disaster last March.

Acting captain, Henrietta Wilson.

Firefighter Howard Han.

Firefighter pilot Thomas Kindard.

Firefighter Evan Buckley.

And firefighter Edmundo Diaz.

Without their singular
tenacity and selflessness,

and unmatched skill and teamwork,

so many more lives would've been lost.

Firefighters, on behalf of the
Los Angeles Fire Department

of the City of Los Angeles,
we thank you.

But we're not quite done.

The quality of teamwork displayed here

is a reflection not only of
each individual's dedication,

but the leadership of
Captain Robert Nash.

Captain Nash,

for your record of outstanding
service and leadership,

in and out of uniform,

the Los Angeles Fire Department
would like to honor you

with this Medal of Valor.

Captain.

Oh, uh, how about if
I just hang on to it?

Um...

This isn't the first time

these people have pulled
me out of the drink.

In more ways than one.

Not sure why I deserve a medal for it.

In my opinion,

you got it right the first five times.

Man, isn't it crazy?

We thought we were gonna get fired.
And instead, we all got medals.

- Enjoy it while it lasts.
- That's my motto.

Hey, Ravi, you know you
don't have to eat everything

at the buffet, right?

Why else would I be here on my day off?

So, that's him, huh?

That's your old Cap?

Yeah, that's Gerard.

The way you guys talk about him,
I assumed he was dead.

Only in our hearts.

Kindard. I thought you
transferred out of here.

Five years ago.

I've been at Harbor Station ever since.

That's right, I heard
you got your wings.

You know, it's good to see you
haven't changed at all, Cap.

It's good to see you didn't
forget your training, Han.

These floors are nice and shiny.

You taught me right.

Whenever I see some
filth, I think of you.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoa... ♪

Oh. Thank you.

Okay, so where's your award?

Oh, I'm just waiting on my refund
check from the cruise line.

♪ I wanna know... ♪

What do you think that's about?

I have no idea.

♪ I want to go home. ♪

Firefighter Wilson?

I just wanted to congratulate
you personally.

Olivia Ortiz.

Councilwoman Ortiz.

That's right.

I am so sorry for your loss, ma'am.

Thank you.

You must be very proud
of your hero wife.

I am.

Sadly, her heroics
didn't extend to my son.

Mama, can we have some more cake?

Are these your children?

This is, uh, Denny and Mara.

Mm. I was told you only had a son.

Mara's about to become my new sister.

- Oh.
- They're adopting me.

Oh, that's adorable.

You know, children are such a blessing.

Enjoy your moment.

Not too much cake.

Okay.

You know, your name should
really be on this, too.

I asked them to include you, but...

Except I'm not actually a firefighter.

Is that what you and Chief
Simpson were arguing about?

Wasn't really an argument.

He was trying to talk
me out of something

and he realized he couldn't,
so he just finally accepted it.

Accepted what?

My resignation.

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I don't understand why you
wouldn't talk to me about this.

I'm just retiring.

This had to happen at some point.

And you know as well as I do

that no one can do this job forever.

Well, I sure as hell thought
we were gonna try.

Well, I'm tired of trying.

Tonight was exhausting.

Chief Simpson having us
trot out there to perform

for the cameras like a
bunch of trained seals.

We stand there and smile and
everybody thinks we're heroes.

You are.

I'm not.

Look...

I know that you're under
a lot of pressure.

And I get needing to take a break

or maybe even wanting
to walk away from it all,

but I'm worried that you're
not thinking clearly.

I mean, given everything
that you've been through...

Oh, you mean the universe deciding

to drop a living reminder

of my greatest failure on my doorstep?

- Yeah, that's a lot.
- You saved that man's life.

It didn't make any difference.

Look, if this is what you
need, I will support it.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.

That's okay. You just surprised me.

And you know how I feel about surprises.

Well, for what it's worth,
you're not alone.

Chief Simpson was pretty surprised, too,

having his star captain
resign at an event

that was supposed to
honor his star firehouse.

He asked me not to tell anybody about it

until he figures out how
he wants to spin it.

Look, I got to get out of this.

And you're really sure about this?

Walking away from the 118?

I don't have anything more to give.

Have you figured it out yet?

Figured what out?

Why I seem so familiar to you.

I don't know what you mean.

Come on.

Every time you think I'm not looking,

you're looking.

Am I?

It's driving you nuts, isn't it?

I was on a TV show called Failed System.

- You were on a TV show.
- Series regular.

Big network show about
a young team of lawyers

who fight to get the wrongly
accused out of prison.

Wow, a TV star.

Hardly.

That show lasted exactly 13 episodes.

Well, seven. That's all they aired.

Then it got cancelled.

But every once in a while,

someone gets that same look you have.

Like... they know me from someplace.

Well, maybe that's it, then.

Or maybe I just like looking at you.

Then why haven't you tried to kiss me?

I didn't know you wanted me to.

Mm, no.

That's not it.

I think it's something else.

I think you're very careful

about letting people into your life.

And not because you've been hurt.

I mean, who hasn't been?

I think you're cautious because...

... you have more to give than
you think anyone can take.

Sounds like you've been looking, too.

Hey, I got a message

about an emergency
with one of my patients?

Mr. Casey?

Hey, sorry, just one second,
I'm dealing with...

A patient emergency, I know.

I'm the one who asked them to call you.

You're Captain Nash's wife.

I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to you.

So you lied to my coworkers
and faked an emergency?

I didn't lie about anything.

I think my husband is in trouble.

And you may be the only person
who can help me save him.

So he never told you he was
thinking about quitting?

No, but honestly, I don't
think he did think about it.

I mean, it felt impulsive.

Well, admittedly, I don't know
your husband very well,

but Nash doesn't seem
like the impulsive type.

Well, normally, he isn't.

But then again,

normally he wouldn't drive alone
into the middle of a desert

to have a conversation with a man

who doesn't want to talk to him.

Okay, that's fair.

I realize that...

this probably sounds crazy.

A silly wife with too much
time on her hands.

No, those aren't words I
would use to describe you.

But... is there a chance you're
reading into it too much?

The one thing that you have
to learn in my line of work

is how to read people.

It's easy to get caught
up in what they're saying

and how they're moving.

And really easy to miss what's
really going on under the surface.

If you know what to look for,

there's this moment

and you can see them when they decide

they have nothing left to lose.

It just ripples across their face.

And you think you see that
look on your husband's face?

For years, Bobby has been walking...

this tightrope.

Trying to embrace the life

that he has now while...

honoring the one that he left behind.

And it was a delicate balance.

Your arrival in his life has
upset that equilibrium.

He's fallen, Mr. Casey.

And I need you to help him find
his way back to solid ground.

All right, get me a ladder
up to that second floor!

You look lost.

This adoption paperwork
is kind of overwhelming.

I thought you said the adoption
hearing was just a formality.

You know me, prepare for the worst.

I think that's pretty much
the entire LAFD handbook.

- You got this.
- Mara's been through so much.

I just want her to know she finally
is a part of a family again.

You just welcome her
into your family the way

you welcomed me into this
one, and she'll be fine.

Just don't forget.

Mara and Denny aren't the only
kids you're raising, Mother Hen.

Hold on. All right, Ravi, why
do we fold these to the edge?

- It's protocol.
- That's right,

but if you leave a loop and
stick your arm through like so,

makes for a faster carry.

That's it, Ravi.

Double time, up the stairwell.

Second floor, let's go, go, go, go!

- All set.
- All right.

- What, uh, what are you making?
- Not me.

You.

- Wha... Uh...
- You're the chef tonight.

Let's see what you got.

Dispatch, I need an additional
four rescue units

and four task force units, let's go!

Eddie, I was going through some
things, and I found this.

Made me think of you. Just hang onto it.

- _
- It might come in handy.

I can't believe you're
letting him cook again.

Well, he's gotten so good at it.

Well, he had a good teacher.

All right, they're coming out now.

My work here is done.

Uh, hey, Cap.

You were really on your game this shift.

And I'm not just talking
about your cooking.

Uh, wow, uh... thanks.

Yeah.

Buck, I don't say this often enough.

You've come a really long way.

You're not the same impulsive hothead

who walked through those
doors seven years ago.

Wow, has it, uh, has it
really been that long?

It has.

Well, here's to seven more.

Yeah.

You going to see Tommy?

Listen, uh...

I kn... I know we haven't
really talked about him.

Well, what's there to talk about?

Tommy's good people, he's good for you.

How do you know that?

'Cause we haven't had to talk about it.

Good night, Buck.

- Oh, uh, hey, uh... Cap?
- Yeah?

Thanks.

You know... for everything.

It's been my pleasure, kid.

Uh... Hey, can I help you?

Hi, yeah, um...
I'm looking for Eddie Diaz?

Sorry, this is the 118
fire station, right?

Uh, yes, yes.

Uh, you-you said you
were looking for Eddie?

Yeah. I made brownies.

I-I'm sorry. Who-who
did you say you were?

I'm Kim.

Kim.

You know, you-you
actually just missed him.

Well, shoot.

Guess I should've called first.

Would you mind giving him these for me?

Uh, yeah.

Tell him I'll just get the dish
back next time I see him.

Sure.

Thanks.

Place looks bigger in person
than it does on FaceTime.

Bye.

Hey.

Uh, hey. Uh... can I come in?

Of course.

Why are you skulking
around my back door?

Well, I just, I wasn't sure
who would be here.

Well, Chris is in his room.
We just had dinner.

Okay, but Marisol, she's not, right?

No. Why are you acting so weird?

Something in those brownies?

Uh, that's maybe a good question.

Um... I don't know.

Buck, what's going on?

Uh, you remember when
Shannon brought a donation

to the Christmas toy
drive at the firehouse

and that was, uh, that was
kind of surprising, right?

What made you think of that?

This was more surprising.

Eddie, who-who's Kim?

She came by the firehouse?

She did.

Uh, she brought some baked goods

and she wanted to see you, Eddie.

And she-she kind of made it seem
like she was your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

Marisol's my girlfriend.

Kim's just... a friend.

Just a-a friend who's a dead
ringer for your late wife?

Yeah.

What's going on here?

Nothing.

Nothing's going on.

We met a couple weeks ago
when we were at the Promenade.

- We?
- Yeah, me and Marisol and Christopher.

Okay, great, they-they've met her?

No.

I mean, I s... I saw her.

And... yeah.

She looks a lot like Shannon.

So I went back.

Turns out, she's a really
nice person, so...

Uh, we struck up a kind
of friendship, that's it.

You, uh, you mean you're seeing her.

We've hung out a few times.

Okay? It's not like
we're having an affair.

- Nothing's happened.
- You haven't had sex.

Exactly. It's not even
what I want from her.

Okay, so what do you want?

I... don't know.

Does this poor woman know
that she is a carbon copy

of your dead wife?

Hasn't really come up.

I'm worried about you.

Yeah.

I'm worried about me, too.

Okay. Who wants dessert?

I got some freshly baked
chocolate-chip cookies.

Since when does he freshly bake?

More like "freshly reheated."

The actual baking happened
at that new market on Third.

Turned on an oven. That still counts.

Can I have two? One for later?

Uh, no, you cannot.

Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes.

I heard that.

Karen has preternaturally sharp hearing.

Hears everything.

Can I have another cookie, please?

Of course, sweetheart.

Great, now they're coconspirators.

Aw, more like siblings.

I can't believe how great she's doing.

I-I think seeing her little
brother was the key.

You know, I finally
feel like she trusts us

and she wants to be part of our family.

Oh, that's me. Sorry.

Cap, yesterday, he surprised me.

- He seemed different.
- What do you mean?

- He was in a great mood.
- Yeah, maybe too great of a mood.

Especially after what he
said at the ceremony.

I feel like something's
going on with him.

I asked Athena about it.

She said there was
nothing to worry about?

- But... ?
- She seemed worried.

- About what?
- Hen?

T-That was Deidre. Uh...

Uh...

Our adoption hearing was canceled.

We're not going before
the judge on Wednesday.

Well, what happened?

- They're rescheduling it?
- No.

No, it's... it's off the
docket completely.

Apparently, the judge has some
concerns about our petition.

Well, I thought this hearing
was just a formality.

It was supposed to be.

But what Deidre said,

that she's never seen
this happen before.

She thinks that...

well, someone must have
talked to the judge,

but she doesn't know who.

I know exactly who.

- Are you okay?
- I...

I mean, if I didn't know better,
even I'd say this was me.

Yeah. You even sound like her.

But I'm not her.

I know.

She died?

Almost five years ago, yeah.

And this is your son?

Yeah.

That's Christopher.

You know, I mean, um...

My mind's kind of blown here, but, um...

I guess now I know why you've
kept things at a distance.

Which was not fair to you.

That's why I brought you here.
I had to come clean, I...

And tell you how incredibly sorry I am.

I should have known you
were too good to be true.

I really liked you.

I liked you, too.

How can you know that?

I mean, have you been
spending time with me?

Or with her?

That's what I thought.

I didn't realize how much I missed her.

Then I saw you.

And for a moment, I even thought...

She'd come back?

Yeah.

I mean, not really, uh, just...

... felt like she had.

I never meant to lead you on.

But you did.

I guess she was the love of your life.

I think she was.

Yeah.

Though I'm not sure I knew at the time.

Shannon and I, we were apart
more than we were together

for most of our marriage.

I was in the military
and she was at home,

in Texas, looking after our son.

When I came back, we...

... tried.

But it was difficult.

Then she left.

Then she came back.

And then she was gone.

Well, it sounds like you two
had some unfinished business.

Yeah.

Never did get to say all
the things I wanted to say.

Or hear all the things
I needed to hear, I guess.

I'm sorry I'm not her.

Bye, Eddie.

- Let me take you home?
- No. I'm okay.

- Thanks for coming.
- Sure.

Bobby isn't here yet, but
he should be home soon.

- You have a beautiful home.
- Thank you.

Would you like a coffee while we wait?

That'd be nice. Thank you.

- How long have you lived here?
- Let's see,

well, May was a baby when
Michael and I moved in

and Harry wasn't even born
yet, so almost 20 years.

Um, Michael was my first husband.

And he is...

Living happily in Florida
with his husband.

I really appreciate your doing this.

Well, honestly, I don't know
what it is I'm doing.

Pep talks have never been my thing.

Bobby is not normally
someone who needs them.

Truth is, he's usually the
one who gives them.

Can't help but wonder
if, all these years,

it's been a defense mechanism.

Always focusing on
someone else's problems

makes it easier to ignore your own.

So, the kids.

- Yours and your ex's, I assume?
- Oh, yeah.

I mean, they've come
to really love Bobby.

Well, he is a lucky man.

Looks like he's found a
great life for himself.

_

_

I can't do this.

I wish you and Captain
Nash the best. I truly do.

But I will not be the prop
that keeps this man afloat.

Wait. Please.

Amir, what are you doing here?

You really want to make amends?

You and your wife need to
stay the hell away from me.

What the hell was that?

- What were you thinking?
- Bobby...

You know what he's been through,
and what I put him through.

You don't think that asking him
to provide a shoulder for me

to cry on is expecting
a little too much?

You won't talk to me, so I thought
maybe you'd talk to him.

Well, what do you expect
me to say to him?

Why did you really quit your job, Bobby?

I told you, I'm tired

and I'm... I feel like a fraud
and I need a break.

Stop lying to me.

Y-You know, I always knew
that there was a part of you

that I could never touch.

That pain of losing your family.

I could imagine what it must be like,

but I can never really understand it.

The best that I could do was to love you

and hope that that was
enough to keep you here.

- I'm not going anywhere.
- You're not?

You barely sleep, you quit your job.

You're making the rounds
to say your goodbyes.

Feels a little like...

you're getting your affairs in order.

No, no, no, I would never.

You once stood on
the ledge of a building

and you were ready to step
off to join your dead family.

Athena, that was a long time
ago and I was dosed on LSD.

And that's what I told
myself at the time.

And that's what I tell myself every
time you go to a dark place.

But I still remember that look.

And you're standing on the ledge
of a building again, Bobby.

I'm not supposed to be here.

I should've died in that fire.

But you didn't.

I made a plan to fix that.

I kept this book with 148 lines in it.

Every time I saved a life,
I filled in the line.

One life saved to repay one life lost.

And what then?

After you've saved the 148?

I'm not supposed to be here.

And where is that book now?

I threw it in the trash on
the night of our first date.

All this time and you
never told me that?

I didn't want any of this to touch you.

Too late.

Damn it.

Hey, you can't go in there.

Firefighter Wilson.

I didn't see you in my calendar today.

Is this an official LAFD visit?

It's okay. Give us a minute, please.

Okay.

Say your piece.

Look, I am truly, truly
sorry for your loss.

But that does not give you the right

to use a little girl as a pawn

in your revenge scheme against me.

I'm just trying to
help that little girl.

Y-You think depriving
her of a loving family,

and a safe home, is-is helping?

You think very highly of yourself,

don't you, Firefighter Wilson?

What does that even mean?

I know you made an honest
mistake when treating my son.

I guess I should say not treating him.

When I had my people look
more closely in your records,

I find a disturbing pattern.

What the hell are you talking about?

A year ago...

... a man died at a
happiness convention?

His family claims you
delayed the extrication

and he died on the scene.

I-I had to make a-a choice.

Misidentified cheerleaders.

A suspicious incident in a bank vault.

Questionable procedures in the field.

I mean, did you really put your hands

inside a man's chest cavity?

I've only ever done
my best to save lives.

Evelyn Fischer, 17 years old,

on her way to a concert
at the Philharmonic.

She was struck and
killed by an ambulance

driven by you.

You really don't care about
the pain that you're causing.

Do not talk to me about pain.

I think you might want
to take that call.

Karen.

What's wrong?

- I don't want to go.
- Mara, it's going to be okay.

- No, I don't want to go.
- It's gonna be okay.

This is just really upsetting for her.

- Could we just take a beat, maybe?
- Just hang on, hang on a minute.

Did you get in touch with Deidre?

She said there's nothing she can do.

They revoked our foster license, Hen.

We didn't even have a hearing.

Come on, let's go.

- Don't touch my sister.
- Denny, no.

Don't make this any worse.

Mom, you can't let them take her.

Please.

There's got to be a better
way that we can do this.

You're scaring the kids.

I'm sorry, we have to take her.

But I want to stay here.

We were supposed to be a family.

Just... just give us a minute.

Please?

W-We are still a family.

Even though we're not
under the same roof.

- Okay?
- You are our daughter.

And we love you.

Don't you ever forget that.

Come on, Mara.

Hi.

What... What are you doing here?

You are alone, aren't you?

Y-Yeah.

I don't feel like we said everything
we... needed to say.

Kim, what are you doing?

Who's Kim?

Oh, God, you really
do look just like her.

Like who?

Like Shannon.

Maybe I am.

- Kim...
- And maybe there are things

you need to say.

Things that you never
got the chance to say.

Let me hear them.

I really appreciate what
you're trying to do...

Our time together was too short.

Eddie, we were apart more
than we were together.

- Please stop.
- Just say what you need to say.

- I can't do this.
- You have to.

You have to let me go.

I don't want to.

Just let it out, baby.

Because I am right here.

No, you're not.

You left me...

... Shannon.

Why?

I thought you loved me.

I did.

I do.

But not enough?

Not enough to stay?

Christopher got a letter.

You at least tried to explain it to him.

What about me? Where was my letter?

All I got was a note
saying you had gone.

I know I wasn't a perfect husband.

I did my fair share of
running, too, but...

... I came back.

Not because of some obligation,

but because I couldn't
imagine a life without...

... without you.

And you know what?

I still can't.

But I'm still living it.

But it's broken. I'm broken.

And I can't fix it.

This is the life I have now.

This is the life from now on.

The life...

... without you.

You were supposed to
be here with me, baby.

And now you're not.

And you never will be.

I'm sorry.

Oh. Okay.

Mom?

Oh, hey, son. I didn't wake you, did I?

No, it's okay.

Hey, can I pour you a drink?

Just don't tell your mother.

- I don't think I'm supposed to.
- Oh, come on.

It's a celebration.

What are we celebrating?

You, my son, the hero.

I am not a hero.

Sure you are.

No. People keep calling
me that, but it's a lie.

Then why did they give you that?

It's heavy, am I right?

I can't breathe with this thing on.

Dad. Help me take it off.

No, son. Sorry.

That one's yours.

Mm!

But I did make you something.

Oh, I think you're gonna love it.

_

It's got all the people
that you didn't save.

_

I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Dad.

I was supposed to save you, kid.

Now I guess you got to save yourself.

Do you smell that?

Athena!

Athena!

Ah!

Athena!

Hey! Athena! Hey, Athena,
can you hear me?

Come on. Come on, baby.
Come on. Come on.

Athena, can you hear me?

Come on, baby. Come on.

All right, come back to me. Come on.

Come back to me.

Come on.

Come on, baby, come on.

Come on, Athena. Come on. Come on.

There you go. Yeah.

There we go. Yeah.

Yep, there you go. You're all right.

Yeah, you just breathe.
You just breathe, okay?

Hey, hey, hey, over here. Come on.

She took in a lot of smoke.
Get some O2 on her, now.

Uh...

Captain Nash! Get the Lifepak!

His heart stopped.

Charge to 100.

Charging.

Clear.

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