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(instrumental rock music)
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♫ All my life I've been a logical man
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♫ But I've seen thingsI just don't understand
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♫ Feeling the feelingsI never thought I would
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♫ I don't understand itbut it sure feels good
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♫ If you were to smell it
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♫ Or see with my eyes
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♫ But there's a truth I've gotta realize
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♫ I've always been blind
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♫ But now I can see
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♫ It almost makes me believe in a miracle
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♫ Yes a miracle
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♫ Whoa
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♫ Dreamin' and steamin' however I could
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♫ Not really doin' thethings that I should
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- [Man] Repent for thekingdom of God is nigh!
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Thank you brother!
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♫ Couldn't find my way nomatter how hard I've tried
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♫ Didn't know I was lost
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♫ Didn't know I was blind
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♫ Til you opened my eyeswith the light you shine
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♫ When I found your loveit made everything new
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♫ It almost makes me believe in a miracle
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♫ Yeah yeah
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♫ Come on
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- [Sam] Frankie, you know the rules.
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No eating in in the car.
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Lose it.
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- [Man] Ya jerk!
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- [Jamal] We really need toconsider getting some real jobs
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so we can make some real money.
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I mean, come on.
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- Real job?
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Are you out of your mind?
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Gentlemen, we are livin' the dream, man!
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We got no responsibilities,travelin' the country.
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This is the first day ofthe rest of our lives.
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- Uh oh, here he come.
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- [Frankie] Yeah I think I've heard
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this song and dance before.
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- Okay, alright, I understand.
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The singing concierge's gigdidn't work out exactly.
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- I like being called a singing concierge.
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- Frankie, you don't sing!
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- That's true.
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- You know isn't itillegal for them to just
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fire us just like that anyway?
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- It should be.
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Which just proves you shouldnever put your faith and trust
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in the powers that be.
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- It's Frankie's fault.
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- Hey, you know what?
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The big girl was wearinga shirt that said guess?
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So I said, 350 pounds.
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- She's the boss's daughter, Frankie!
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- That don't make her thin.
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- Guys, forget it!
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This next gig is the one
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that's gonna make us a lot of money.
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- Look Sam, since we were kids every time
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you had a good idea,something really bad happened.
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- Look I'm telling you guys,they haven't all been bad.
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- [Jamal] Not buyin' it.
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- We're just ahead of our time.
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Stick with me here 'cause I feel it.
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There is something bigon the horizon for us.
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Big.
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- Hey, hold on a sec.
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Look at that right there, rightthere, right, right, right.
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I got a coupon right here.
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It says free reading by Big Ursula.
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- Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,
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don't you know that's alljust a bunch of hocus pocus?
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- Yes, exactly.
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- What is?
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What's a bunch of hocus pocus?
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- That, all of it.
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Fortune tellers, ghosts,goblins, vampires,
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meditation, God himself,I mean I'm tellin' ya
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it's all illogical and unscientific.
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- [Jamal] That's right.
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- Unless you can touchit, feel it, or smell it,
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my friend, it's all ancient superstition.
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- Frankie, Sam's right.
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It's an abomination.
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- Sam, let's go, come on.
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- It's a sin, man.
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- How would you know?
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You don't go to church.
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- My great grandmama LulaPearl, God rest her soul,
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precious, love you, grandma,
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she taught me everythingI need to know about sin.
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- Come on, Sam, let's go!
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- Alright fine, five minutes tops.
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- Yes!
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- We'll stop, pull over, see Ursula.
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We'll get a bite to eat.
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We'll be outta there!
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- [Jamal] See why do youget to decide where we go
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and what we do?
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- [Sam] Study your history, Jamal.
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The man with the carhas always historically
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been the boss of said passengers.
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(rock music)
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♫ It's not in my headbut it's deep in my heart
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♫ It almost makes me believe
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♫ In a miracle
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(brakes squealing)
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- [Jamal] Man, where'dyou learn how to brake?
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- [Frankie] Comin' in, Sam?
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- [Sam] No!
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- [Jamal] Abomination!
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- [Frankie] I'll be rightback with some good news!
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- [Sam] Rusty's Sports Bar, huh?
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Maybe that's where we'll go for lunch.
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- Man, I got a bad, badfeeling about this, Sam.
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A bad feeling about this.
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- Seriously, you're overreacting.
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It's like we're in Mayberry, USA here.
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We're fine.
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- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
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- Hi.
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- You boys aren't fromaround here, are you?
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- Oh, no, Officer.
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No we are not.
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- Whatcha doin' here?
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- Well, as you can see,Mr. Officer of the law,
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we are patrons of one of yourfine local establishments.
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- That's right.
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You know Mr. Officer,I'm sure you heard of us.
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We're the famous singing concierge.
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(sings) La!
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- (sings) La!
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- (sings) Ah! Hey.
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- You know you're double parked?
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- No, sir.
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But if you hum a fewbars, I'd try to fake it.
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Hey!
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- That's not what he meant.
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- Maybe I should check your plates.
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Just in case y'all are dangerous fugitives
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runnin' from the law.
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- That's not necessary.
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- Hey Frankie!
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- Alright I'm gonna let you go.
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But you boys watch yourselves, you hear?
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- Oh that we will do,Mr. Officer of the law.
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- I am grateful fromthe bottom of my heart.
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- Sam, she read my palm and she said son,
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this is your lucky day.
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Then she gave me a freebottle of glory be!
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- Frankie, I don't careand get rid of that.
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You can't drink in the car.
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Now!
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Get rid of it!
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- Fine!
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(bottle breaking)
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- Really Frankie?
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- Outta the car!
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Get over on that curb!
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Come on, all of you!
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All three of you!
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Sit over there on that curb.
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- [Sam] Officer, I can explain.
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- Shut up!
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Over there!
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Let's go!
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Sit!
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I knew the three of you were up to no good
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the minute I saw you roll into town.
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- Good thing he didn't see the tickets
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in the glove compartment.
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- What's that?
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Speeding tickets?
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Tickets, tickets, tickets!
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Just as I thought.
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A bunch of law breakers.
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(cell door closing)
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- Some lucky day.
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- Day ain't over yet.
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- Ah look at the bright side, boys.
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Tomorrow we'll go before some small town
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chucklehead judge who's probably a deacon
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at the corner church.
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Play our cards right, wecan get him to forgive us,
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as every good Christian should,
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and we will be on our way.
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- Say, say I got an idea onhow to get us outta here!
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- Whatcha thinkin' Jamal?
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- Everybody who goes to jail gets saved.
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Ain't that right, Frankie?
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- I pretty much got savedevery time I was in jail
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and baptized too if therewere any water in the toilet.
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(laughs)
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- Saved?
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You know somebody whocan bust us outta here?
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- I'm not talking aboutthat kinda saved, Sam.
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I'm talking about theget religion kinda saved.
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- Wait a minute.
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You expect me to go before a judge
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and convince him that Isuddenly found religion?
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You know I don't believeany of this stuff.
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- You don't have to believe it.
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You just gotta make sure thatthe judge believes it, Sam!
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Gentlemen, we are all gonna get saved!
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(church organ music)
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- [Rusty] Looks like ourReverend Freeman's a no show.
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- It's probably a good thing.
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I think our good friendhere, Judge Cartwright
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was gonna put him awayfor a pretty long time.
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- It's kind of a shame really.
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He's not a bad fella.
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- Problem is, where arewe gonna find a reverend
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dumb enough to fall for your plan?
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- Just remember there's asucker born every minute.
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- All rise.
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The Honorable Judge Calden Cartwright.
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- You can go ahead and sit down.
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- City of Rocky Roadcalls the Reverend Freeman
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on the charge of stealing an exhaustion
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from a community church.
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- Your Honor?
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- [Judge] Yes, Mr. Pickens.
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- It seems that ReverendFreeman's a no show.
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We've got Officer Marrow outlooking for him right now.
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- Very well, then.
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Next case.
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- City calls the strangersfrom out of town.
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What are you stooges looking at?
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Is that your dumb face oryou always look like that?
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Get on over there, you nitwit!
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- There's some very seriouscharges against you here.
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- Mr. Honorable Judge ofthe local law of Rocky Road,
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I believe I can explain.
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There were a plethora ofunfortunate circumstances
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that betwixt us in front
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of the one local business establishment.
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- Yes, Your Honor.
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We, the accused of certain crimes against
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our fellow humanity, we standbefore you as changed men.
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- That's right, Your Honor.
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You see, last night, we all got saved
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and have turned from our wicked ways.
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- So you spent a night in theclink and then you met Jesus?
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- Yes, we found Jesus!
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- Exactly, Your Honor!
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- We were heathens out inthe wilderness, Your Honor,
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and we were lost andhave come to our senses!
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- Like the prayers ofRocky Road Community Church
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have been answered.
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- Looks like we could getthree for the price of one.
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- Three blind saintsleading the blind (laughs).
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- How about you?
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Are you saved too?
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- Tell him how you got saved, Sam.
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Tell him.
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- Yes, absolutely.
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I went to the lost and found
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and in God now I trust.
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All dogs go to heaven.
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- Come on now, son, testify!
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Tell 'em how you sawthat bright light, Sam!
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- Oh yes, right, the light.
264
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:16,859
- Yeah, the light!
265
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:19,026
- Of course how could Iforget the bright light?
266
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:19,860
Boom!
267
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,069
Right in the noodle.
268
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:24,132
And it was so intense that
269
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:25,777
I fell to the ground!
270
00:10:25,778 --> 00:10:28,120
- [Jamal] Booya, smack, wow!
271
00:10:28,121 --> 00:10:30,954
- And then I heard angels singing.
272
00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:34,731
- (singing) Freedom.
273
00:10:34,732 --> 00:10:38,244
- No, no, no, no, theyhad much higher voices.
274
00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:40,777
They were much more girly.
275
00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:42,326
- (singing) Freedom.
276
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:43,962
- A little higher.
277
00:10:43,963 --> 00:10:45,226
A little higher.
278
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:46,874
(Frankie and Jamal'svoices raising in pitch)
279
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:47,714
That's the stuff.
280
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,964
And then I heard the voice.
281
00:10:51,046 --> 00:10:54,419
Sounded just like Mr. Charlton Heston.
282
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,170
And it said let the prisoners go.
283
00:10:59,945 --> 00:11:02,856
(dramatic instrumental music)
284
00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:05,616
- You don't wanna pull my leg, son.
285
00:11:05,617 --> 00:11:06,950
I got a bad hip.
286
00:11:07,961 --> 00:11:10,681
- Judge, Your Honor,may I have the privilege
287
00:11:10,682 --> 00:11:12,135
of addressing the court?
288
00:11:12,136 --> 00:11:15,553
- The Court recognizes Mr. Rusty Pickens.
289
00:11:19,355 --> 00:11:20,805
- How ya doin' Calvin?
290
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:21,930
- Pretty good, Rusty.
291
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:22,714
How's yourself?
292
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:23,597
- [Rusty] Oh just fine.
293
00:11:23,598 --> 00:11:26,804
- What can the court dofor you this fine day?
294
00:11:26,805 --> 00:11:29,613
- Because of the misdeeds of one man
295
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:32,051
the Rocky Road Community Church
296
00:11:32,052 --> 00:11:35,897
is in dire peril and Irequest that you release
297
00:11:35,898 --> 00:11:38,708
these three fine men to my custody
298
00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:40,632
to do little community service
299
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,928
if it please the court.
300
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,602
- Well, it does please the court.
301
00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:49,024
So I am going to sentenceyou three gentlemen
302
00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:52,824
to custody of one of our leading citizens
303
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:55,583
and businessmen Mr. Rusty Pickens
304
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:58,584
to be reviewed again in three weeks.
305
00:11:59,522 --> 00:12:02,802
It's not nice to fool Judge Cartwright.
306
00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:03,837
Court is adjourned.
307
00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:04,870
(gavel pounds)
308
00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:06,459
- [Sam] Okay what just happened?
309
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,102
- Congratulations, boys.
310
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,210
You are now a part of team Rusty,
311
00:12:10,211 --> 00:12:13,917
bringing pride and honor tothe community of Rocky Road.
312
00:12:13,918 --> 00:12:17,523
Now your assignment is toget the Rocky Road Church
313
00:12:17,524 --> 00:12:19,631
up and running and prospering once again.
314
00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:20,715
- What?
315
00:12:20,716 --> 00:12:21,787
You're yankin' our chain.
316
00:12:21,788 --> 00:12:23,382
- No, no, now hold on, Sam.
317
00:12:23,383 --> 00:12:25,115
Now let's hear the man out.
318
00:12:25,116 --> 00:12:26,334
- You boys are from big town.
319
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:27,653
I know you don't know who I am.
320
00:12:27,654 --> 00:12:28,960
Allow me to introduce myself.
321
00:12:28,961 --> 00:12:33,131
I'm Rusty Pickens, proprietorof Rusty's Sports Bar.
322
00:12:33,132 --> 00:12:37,352
I also run the town, thecourt, the jail, church.
323
00:12:37,353 --> 00:12:38,992
Tell 'em how it is, Beverly.
324
00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:40,774
- Yes, sir, Mr. Pickens.
325
00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:44,025
Alright boys, here's how it's gonna go.
326
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,381
You, you're gonna work with the kids.
327
00:12:47,382 --> 00:12:49,540
And you, you're gonna handle the music.
328
00:12:49,541 --> 00:12:52,708
And you, you're gonna be our preacher.
329
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,335
- Would you give us just one quick second?
330
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:57,880
- Take all the time you need.
331
00:12:57,881 --> 00:12:58,664
- Thank you.
332
00:12:58,714 --> 00:12:59,665
These people have lost their marbles.
333
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:00,928
- They're crazy loco patho.
334
00:13:00,929 --> 00:13:02,762
- There's no time here.
335
00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:03,884
No.
336
00:13:03,885 --> 00:13:06,274
- Excuse me, Mr. Pickens.
337
00:13:06,275 --> 00:13:08,809
We don't wanna appear to be ungrateful
338
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,896
for your inexhaustible benevolence
339
00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:12,929
portrayed to us strangers
340
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:15,085
while we're in this terriblefix in your fair city.
341
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:15,929
- What's your point?
342
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:18,975
- We don't have a doggone clueon how to run a church, sir.
343
00:13:18,976 --> 00:13:19,759
- We have no idea.
344
00:13:19,809 --> 00:13:20,642
- What he said.
345
00:13:20,643 --> 00:13:22,027
- Boys, boys, boys.
346
00:13:22,028 --> 00:13:23,861
What is there to know?
347
00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:29,992
All you've gotta do is doone one-hour service a week.
348
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:30,841
- One hour a week?
349
00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:32,572
That's not that bad.
350
00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:33,741
When we were in therein front of the judge
351
00:13:33,742 --> 00:13:35,325
we were pretending!
352
00:13:36,558 --> 00:13:39,695
- You just preach peace and love.
353
00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:41,943
You do have some peace andlove in you, don't you?
354
00:13:41,944 --> 00:13:42,727
- Yeah.
355
00:13:42,777 --> 00:13:43,610
- Well sure ya do!
356
00:13:43,611 --> 00:13:44,693
- Yeah, sure.
357
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,115
- Then you collect the money.
358
00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:49,949
- Money?
359
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:50,990
Did you say money?
360
00:13:50,991 --> 00:13:52,116
- He said cash money.
361
00:13:52,117 --> 00:13:53,106
- I heard money.
362
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:56,480
- All your parking tickets will disappear.
363
00:13:56,481 --> 00:13:57,416
- Oh really?
364
00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:58,818
- And you can live forfree in the parsonage
365
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:00,697
next to the church.
366
00:14:00,698 --> 00:14:01,678
- And you said money, right?
367
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:05,178
- Plus you get a thousand dollars a piece.
368
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,350
- Would you hold that thought
369
00:14:07,351 --> 00:14:09,412
while I check in with my constituents?
370
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,413
- You bet.
371
00:14:12,321 --> 00:14:13,351
- Three weeks!
372
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,135
- Of loving kindness.
373
00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:15,085
- A dozen bucks.
374
00:14:15,086 --> 00:14:17,002
How hard could this be?
375
00:14:18,134 --> 00:14:20,288
- [All] We'll do it!
376
00:14:20,289 --> 00:14:24,122
(dramatic instrumental music)
377
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,284
- Here we are, boys.
378
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,533
Home sweet home.
379
00:14:32,056 --> 00:14:36,223
- Man I don't even rememberthe last time I was in church.
380
00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:40,495
Fellas, what did we get ourselves into?
381
00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:43,496
- Oh my gentlemen, gird up thy loins
382
00:14:44,995 --> 00:14:47,662
for the promised land awaits us.
383
00:14:49,117 --> 00:14:50,667
- Yeah.
384
00:14:50,668 --> 00:14:53,290
- Here they are, ladies andgentlemen, your new ministers.
385
00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:57,599
Formerly of the localjail outreach program,
386
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,666
now called to serve us here.
387
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:02,802
I know you'll all wanna make 'em welcome.
388
00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:03,979
If you'll excuse me now I've got
389
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,896
some business to take care of.
390
00:15:05,897 --> 00:15:07,068
Good luck boys.
391
00:15:07,069 --> 00:15:08,904
- Welcome, welcome, gentlemen.
392
00:15:08,905 --> 00:15:11,427
We're privileged to have three men of God
393
00:15:11,428 --> 00:15:13,162
such as yourselves here.
394
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,709
I'm Sister Louise.
395
00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:17,569
And if you need anything,just let me know, okay?
396
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:20,987
Now men you go and make yourselves known.
397
00:15:27,604 --> 00:15:28,820
- Okay, music man.
398
00:15:28,821 --> 00:15:31,304
We need to get somethingstraight from the very beginning.
399
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,178
- We don't want anyhippie music up in here.
400
00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:34,018
- [Jamal] Hippie music?
401
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:34,851
- That's right.
402
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:35,734
No rock and roll either.
403
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,163
- We ain't no charismatic church, either.
404
00:15:37,164 --> 00:15:39,974
So don't start any of thatlayin' on of hands, right?
405
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:42,226
- You need to tell those teenage kids
406
00:15:42,227 --> 00:15:44,762
that we do not allow tattoos
407
00:15:44,763 --> 00:15:46,729
and we do not allow any piercings.
408
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,694
Tongue piercings, lippiercings, nose piercings,
409
00:15:48,695 --> 00:15:50,194
or any other kind of piercings
410
00:15:50,195 --> 00:15:52,913
which I am too much of aChristian lady to mention.
411
00:15:52,914 --> 00:15:54,508
- Or any of that speakin' in tongues.
412
00:15:54,509 --> 00:15:56,006
We don't want any wildfire.
413
00:15:56,007 --> 00:15:56,840
- Wildfire.
414
00:15:56,841 --> 00:16:00,557
- Now I only have one word for you.
415
00:16:00,558 --> 00:16:01,493
12 o'clock.
416
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,850
- That's actually two words.
417
00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,570
- Well, it may be two words
418
00:16:05,571 --> 00:16:08,622
but 12 o'clock only comes once a day
419
00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:10,256
and on Sunday at 12 o'clock we need to be
420
00:16:10,257 --> 00:16:11,102
walking out that door.
421
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,820
Now do we have an understanding?
422
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:15,092
Yeah I think we do.
423
00:16:15,093 --> 00:16:16,588
- You please tell them that.
424
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:17,809
I'm glad we understand each other.
425
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,306
- I definitely will.
426
00:16:19,307 --> 00:16:20,574
- I don't think we'll have a chance
427
00:16:20,575 --> 00:16:22,602
of any wildfire around here.
428
00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:24,293
- As long as we've got that clear.
429
00:16:24,294 --> 00:16:28,211
You have a nice day andwe'll see ya in church.
430
00:16:30,291 --> 00:16:31,983
- I can't get along with those people.
431
00:16:31,984 --> 00:16:33,571
- Well, well, well.
432
00:16:33,572 --> 00:16:35,905
Mickey and Minnie and Dopey.
433
00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:39,389
- Hey, Geppetto, how ya doing, from court?
434
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:40,463
- Yeah.
435
00:16:40,464 --> 00:16:42,294
- Yeah, didn't recognize you without the...
436
00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:45,578
- Yeah, and I'm the guarddown at the bank, too.
437
00:16:45,579 --> 00:16:47,023
- And you go to church here.
438
00:16:47,024 --> 00:16:48,274
- For 64 years.
439
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:53,259
I've seen 'em come, I've seen 'em go.
440
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:56,588
Not much happens around herethat I don't know about.
441
00:16:56,589 --> 00:17:00,992
So, old Rusty Pickens hasgot hold of you guys, has he?
442
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:05,491
Remember, not all aresaints who go to church.
443
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,896
- Ooh.
444
00:17:06,897 --> 00:17:10,459
- Well I know you young menare probably tired by now.
445
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,360
I guess you better be gettingon over to where you staying.
446
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:14,567
It's right next door.
447
00:17:14,568 --> 00:17:16,629
And there's a wonderfulgodly named Tiffany
448
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:19,114
and she'll have a key, let you in.
449
00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:22,535
Oh, and I can't wait tohear your sermon tomorrow.
450
00:17:22,536 --> 00:17:24,316
(laughs)
451
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:27,647
I'm sure we'll all be very surprised.
452
00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:29,989
- Well, ah, Sister, if he canmake it through his sermon,
453
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:31,488
it'll be a miracle.
454
00:17:31,489 --> 00:17:32,989
(Sister laughs)
455
00:17:32,990 --> 00:17:34,678
- Amen, thank you very much, Sister.
456
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,672
Gentlemen, come on!
457
00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,014
Let's go check out ourfive star accommodations
458
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,407
at the Rocky Road Church parsonage.
459
00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:43,309
Here's where all the holy menare hanging out this year.
460
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:47,310
- Let's hope they havethree different bedrooms.
461
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:50,154
- Hey man, how long we gonna have to wait?
462
00:17:50,155 --> 00:17:52,029
- I could break in using a hair pin.
463
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,294
- Yeah, great idea Frank,
464
00:17:53,295 --> 00:17:56,810
except ain't nobody here got a hairpin!
465
00:17:56,811 --> 00:17:59,483
- Ah no, no, we don't wanna break in.
466
00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:02,340
What would the godly woman Tiffany say?
467
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,924
Lordy, Lordy, Lord!
468
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:09,239
You boys broke into the church parsonage!
469
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,578
My godliness is aghast!
470
00:18:11,579 --> 00:18:15,091
This will surely be the power of Satan!
471
00:18:15,092 --> 00:18:17,487
- Can you help me, good sister?
472
00:18:17,488 --> 00:18:19,077
- Oh Lordy!
473
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:21,516
- Free you now from the power of Satan!
474
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,300
You're saved brother!
475
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:23,350
- Stop, Sam.
476
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:24,969
- Start saying with me now.
477
00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:25,875
Godly Tiffany says...
478
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,470
- Sam.
479
00:18:27,471 --> 00:18:31,590
- Ah, your name wouldn'thappen to be Tiffany, would it?
480
00:18:31,591 --> 00:18:34,872
- Yeah, actually, godly Tiffany, to you.
481
00:18:34,873 --> 00:18:37,075
- Of course you are.
482
00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:40,685
Um, we were expecting somebody older.
483
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,623
- Yep.
484
00:18:41,624 --> 00:18:43,453
- Much older.
485
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:44,621
- You're young.
486
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:46,169
- [Jamal] Much younger.
487
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:47,170
- And young.
488
00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:51,282
- Well I am here by the power of Tiffany
489
00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:53,700
to let you boys in the house.
490
00:18:54,748 --> 00:18:56,064
- Listen, we were just making...
491
00:18:56,065 --> 00:18:56,956
- Fun of me?
492
00:18:56,957 --> 00:18:58,921
Or you have a problem with old people?
493
00:18:58,922 --> 00:19:00,279
- No we love 'em.
494
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,447
The oldest people we know are elderly.
495
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:11,154
- Well the place coulddefinitely use a little work.
496
00:19:11,155 --> 00:19:12,700
But for some reason,
497
00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:15,326
we can't seem to keeppreachers around here long.
498
00:19:15,327 --> 00:19:18,994
So I don't think thatyou'll be here either.
499
00:19:20,862 --> 00:19:23,488
Do you really think you have the strength,
500
00:19:23,489 --> 00:19:26,720
integrity, and honorto lead a congregation?
501
00:19:26,721 --> 00:19:27,940
- Would you believe those were my best
502
00:19:27,941 --> 00:19:29,771
subjects in Sunday school?
503
00:19:29,772 --> 00:19:31,783
- Well, I guess we'll find out, won't we?
504
00:19:31,784 --> 00:19:33,284
- I guess we will.
505
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,739
- So I will leave you men of God here
506
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:40,454
to do whatever men of Goddo on a Saturday afternoon.
507
00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:42,140
- Oh yes, we've got a verybusy day, don't we boys?
508
00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:44,347
- Oh very busy, busy, like...
509
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:45,373
- Saying our prayers.
510
00:19:45,374 --> 00:19:46,313
- Saying our prayers.
511
00:19:46,314 --> 00:19:47,859
- And feeding the poor.
512
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:48,754
- Oh we feed the poor.
513
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,346
- And kissing.
514
00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:51,180
- What?
515
00:19:51,181 --> 00:19:52,268
- Babies.
516
00:19:52,269 --> 00:19:54,096
- [Jamal] Kissing thempretty little babies.
517
00:19:54,097 --> 00:19:56,065
- [Frankie] And meeting with Rusty.
518
00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:57,333
- Rusty Pickens?
519
00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:58,500
Why would you meet with?
520
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,187
- It's a different Rusty.
521
00:20:00,188 --> 00:20:02,034
- His dog Rusty.
522
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:02,868
- Oh you have a dog?
523
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,242
You can't have a dog here.
524
00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:07,807
- No, but I had a dog.
525
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:09,641
But he died and so now
526
00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:13,996
we gotta go pick out alittle Rusty the dog casket.
527
00:20:13,997 --> 00:20:14,982
- Okay.
528
00:20:14,983 --> 00:20:16,154
- Poor old Rusty.
529
00:20:16,155 --> 00:20:20,368
Sweetest most lovable, loyaldog you ever wanna know.
530
00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,536
I can't believe he's gone.
531
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,475
- Okay.
532
00:20:27,452 --> 00:20:29,043
- A bit much.
533
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,044
So anyway.
534
00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:33,680
So listen, after I'mdone burying the pooch,
535
00:20:33,681 --> 00:20:35,464
I was wondering if maybe
536
00:20:35,465 --> 00:20:37,429
you and I could ah...
537
00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:40,528
- Just forget whatever you were thinking.
538
00:20:40,529 --> 00:20:42,824
Guys, godly Tiffany is outta here.
539
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,315
See you at church.
540
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:48,066
(playful instrumental music)
541
00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:52,952
(church bells ringing)
542
00:20:52,953 --> 00:20:54,915
- Let's make this real easy.
543
00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:55,945
- Easy?
544
00:20:55,946 --> 00:20:57,495
There's nothing easy about these people.
545
00:20:57,496 --> 00:21:00,065
- There's no way in heaven wecan make these people happy.
546
00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:01,243
- Will you listen to me?
547
00:21:01,244 --> 00:21:04,245
I'm gonna tell you how the system works.
548
00:21:04,246 --> 00:21:06,115
All you do is tell 'em their blessings
549
00:21:06,116 --> 00:21:07,335
are right around the corner.
550
00:21:07,336 --> 00:21:08,834
Smile at the kiddos.
551
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,184
Sing a few old songs.
552
00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:13,433
Tell 'em what they wanna hear
553
00:21:13,434 --> 00:21:15,493
and then you collect the money
554
00:21:15,494 --> 00:21:17,085
and give it straight to Beverly.
555
00:21:17,086 --> 00:21:17,869
Got it?
556
00:21:17,919 --> 00:21:18,702
Good.
557
00:21:18,752 --> 00:21:19,585
Let's go.
558
00:21:19,586 --> 00:21:20,605
Oh, wait.
559
00:21:20,606 --> 00:21:25,055
It might help if you put aduh or an ah into some words,
560
00:21:25,056 --> 00:21:27,632
you know, like God-duh!
561
00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:28,633
Church-ah!
562
00:21:30,026 --> 00:21:32,526
Makes it sound more spiritual.
563
00:21:33,636 --> 00:21:35,272
Alright go get 'em.
564
00:21:35,273 --> 00:21:38,523
(energetic rock music)
565
00:22:09,306 --> 00:22:10,573
- Amen.
566
00:22:10,574 --> 00:22:11,506
- Amen!
567
00:22:11,507 --> 00:22:13,155
- Amen.
568
00:22:13,156 --> 00:22:16,489
Well glory child it's time for the hymn.
569
00:22:19,336 --> 00:22:22,419
Please open your books to number 342.
570
00:22:23,836 --> 00:22:27,345
We gonna sing that old great song.
571
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,575
I surrender all.
572
00:22:28,576 --> 00:22:30,215
Amen?
573
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,216
Choir!
574
00:22:32,506 --> 00:22:33,506
Rise.
575
00:22:34,236 --> 00:22:36,445
Five, six, seven, eight.
576
00:22:36,446 --> 00:22:40,029
(singing) I surrender all.
577
00:22:41,935 --> 00:22:42,935
Yes!
578
00:22:43,616 --> 00:22:48,543
- [All] (singing) I surrender all.
579
00:22:48,544 --> 00:22:52,711
- (singing) All to Thee my blessed Savior
580
00:22:54,536 --> 00:22:55,536
I...
581
00:23:02,976 --> 00:23:05,809
(vocalizing) I...
582
00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:15,584
Where's the love?
583
00:23:15,585 --> 00:23:16,709
Sit down, choir.
584
00:23:16,710 --> 00:23:17,543
Amen.
585
00:23:17,544 --> 00:23:19,293
Sam, come on up here.
586
00:23:22,332 --> 00:23:23,582
It's show time.
587
00:23:31,096 --> 00:23:31,879
- Morning.
588
00:23:31,929 --> 00:23:32,762
(mic feeds back)
589
00:23:32,763 --> 00:23:33,779
Ooh.
590
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:35,050
This is your captain speaking.
591
00:23:35,051 --> 00:23:37,634
Thanks for flying Sam Airlines.
592
00:23:39,694 --> 00:23:43,397
My name is Sam and I'm your new pastor.
593
00:23:43,398 --> 00:23:45,898
So you can call me Pastor Sam.
594
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:51,741
I'm here to preach my first sermon.
595
00:23:51,742 --> 00:23:53,942
The first part of my sermon
596
00:23:53,943 --> 00:23:55,526
which is about God.
597
00:23:58,162 --> 00:24:01,353
Because that seems to bethe cat you guys are into
598
00:24:01,354 --> 00:24:03,521
so I'm gonna focus on him.
599
00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:08,058
You know, according toJamal's grandmother,
600
00:24:08,059 --> 00:24:09,476
God is everywhere
601
00:24:11,896 --> 00:24:14,098
which is just really, really creepy
602
00:24:14,099 --> 00:24:15,323
if you think about it.
603
00:24:15,324 --> 00:24:16,583
I mean
604
00:24:16,584 --> 00:24:17,947
no me time?
605
00:24:17,948 --> 00:24:19,348
Really?
606
00:24:19,349 --> 00:24:23,385
I guess that's the point of thewhole thing, so here we are.
607
00:24:23,386 --> 00:24:25,911
If God is everywherethen I guess he's here
608
00:24:25,912 --> 00:24:27,458
and that's a good thing!
609
00:24:27,459 --> 00:24:29,521
- I don't know what he's talking about.
610
00:24:29,522 --> 00:24:32,802
- If that's true, I got alot of explaining to do.
611
00:24:32,803 --> 00:24:34,886
And-duh, God-duh said-duh
612
00:24:38,094 --> 00:24:40,714
let-ah there be light-ah.
613
00:24:40,715 --> 00:24:42,359
And there was light!
614
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:43,360
Ah.
615
00:24:44,375 --> 00:24:46,479
And the lighteth was brighteth
616
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,355
and Godeth said not my eyes!
617
00:24:48,356 --> 00:24:50,373
Don't shine it on me.
618
00:24:50,374 --> 00:24:53,324
And in the words of the prophet
619
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,576
(speaking in foreign language)
620
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:57,026
may the force be with you.
621
00:24:57,027 --> 00:24:57,873
Floss daily.
622
00:24:57,874 --> 00:25:00,641
Call your mother and don't be a jerk.
623
00:25:00,642 --> 00:25:01,624
Amen.
624
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:02,890
- [Jamal] Amen!
625
00:25:02,891 --> 00:25:04,857
(some audience applauding)
626
00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:05,840
Amen!
627
00:25:05,841 --> 00:25:06,923
- [Sam] Amen!
628
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:09,623
- The offering.
629
00:25:09,673 --> 00:25:10,506
- [Sam] What?
630
00:25:10,507 --> 00:25:11,845
- Offering.
631
00:25:11,846 --> 00:25:12,846
- Hold up.
632
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,550
Show's not over.
633
00:25:15,551 --> 00:25:17,098
Time to pay the piper.
634
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:20,234
Gotta get out thewallets and open them up.
635
00:25:20,235 --> 00:25:21,547
We're gonna take the offering
636
00:25:21,548 --> 00:25:23,614
because it all goes to a good cause.
637
00:25:23,615 --> 00:25:25,438
So cough it up.
638
00:25:25,439 --> 00:25:30,179
(suspenseful instrumental music)
639
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:33,458
- The more you give, themore you shall receive!
640
00:25:33,459 --> 00:25:35,209
Go ahead put that in.
641
00:25:40,442 --> 00:25:42,408
You know God don't like folk to be cheap!
642
00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:43,409
Amen?
643
00:25:45,173 --> 00:25:49,340
(laughs) That's a good andfaithful servant right there.
644
00:25:52,489 --> 00:25:55,387
Hey, thank you very much allyou congregants for your...
645
00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:56,839
- Good job, good job.
646
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,044
That was absolutely perfect.
647
00:25:59,045 --> 00:26:01,104
You boys have a good week now, ya hear?
648
00:26:01,105 --> 00:26:03,022
- [Jamal] Well we will.
649
00:26:06,819 --> 00:26:09,488
- Alright you can all pile in my car.
650
00:26:09,489 --> 00:26:12,820
We're goin' over to Tiffany'sfor some home-cooked meals.
651
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,692
- Don't have to tell me twice!
652
00:26:14,693 --> 00:26:15,693
- I'm there!
653
00:26:22,943 --> 00:26:24,684
- Daddy, why don't youjust sit right there?
654
00:26:24,685 --> 00:26:26,518
You can see everybody.
655
00:26:28,897 --> 00:26:31,147
Sister Louise, right next to daddy.
656
00:26:31,148 --> 00:26:32,089
- Ooh I like that.
657
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:35,088
I'm gonna keep my badeye on all this food.
658
00:26:35,089 --> 00:26:37,663
But I'm gonna keep my good eyeon this pretty little lady.
659
00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:38,886
(Sister laughs)
660
00:26:38,887 --> 00:26:41,132
- Okay, daddy, that's enoughfor poor Sister Louise.
661
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:43,530
You're embarrassing me.
662
00:26:43,531 --> 00:26:44,788
- Well I just want youto know, Miss Tiffany,
663
00:26:44,789 --> 00:26:47,183
that you're safe next to me.
664
00:26:47,184 --> 00:26:49,148
I won't do anything to embarrass you.
665
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:51,729
- I know you won't 'causeyou'll be sitting over there.
666
00:26:51,730 --> 00:26:53,694
This is my son's spot.
667
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:55,241
- Of course it is.
668
00:26:55,242 --> 00:26:56,741
- [Tiffany] Did you want a roll, Sister?
669
00:26:56,742 --> 00:26:57,866
- You have a son?
670
00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:58,700
- Yes I do.
671
00:26:58,701 --> 00:26:59,836
- Wonderful.
672
00:26:59,837 --> 00:27:00,670
That's cool.
673
00:27:00,671 --> 00:27:01,710
- [Daddy] Hey, Johnny boy.
674
00:27:01,711 --> 00:27:04,383
Johnny, come on in and sit down.
675
00:27:04,384 --> 00:27:05,384
- Hi.
676
00:27:06,449 --> 00:27:08,835
- Brother Sam, would you do us the honor
677
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:10,995
of saying the blessing over this food?
678
00:27:10,996 --> 00:27:13,570
- I would be honored.
679
00:27:13,571 --> 00:27:17,044
- Hey Sam, sure you cool with that?
680
00:27:17,045 --> 00:27:18,920
I mean I know you probably tired from
681
00:27:18,921 --> 00:27:21,593
got the glory on you from praying all day,
682
00:27:21,594 --> 00:27:24,129
preaching, you know, let me go ahead and...
683
00:27:24,130 --> 00:27:25,130
- I got it.
684
00:27:30,405 --> 00:27:31,405
Oh dear God,
685
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,263
we come salivating to thy table
686
00:27:36,264 --> 00:27:39,029
fired up to chow downon the fish of the sea
687
00:27:39,030 --> 00:27:41,183
and the birds of the air.
688
00:27:41,184 --> 00:27:43,152
Technically, chickens can't fly.
689
00:27:43,153 --> 00:27:45,595
So I'm not exactly sure where they fit
690
00:27:45,596 --> 00:27:48,123
into thy holy food chain.
691
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:49,722
Yeah, though, the word on the street
692
00:27:49,723 --> 00:27:52,771
is that you're a kind and loving God.
693
00:27:52,772 --> 00:27:53,854
We know that, ah,
694
00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:57,037
(fly buzzing)
695
00:27:57,038 --> 00:27:58,121
we, ah, know,
696
00:28:01,585 --> 00:28:03,585
you would never actually
697
00:28:05,192 --> 00:28:07,692
(swats table)
698
00:28:13,722 --> 00:28:16,055
that you wouldn't hurt a fly
699
00:28:17,145 --> 00:28:20,519
unless it was molesting thefood on your banquet table.
700
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:21,552
Amen.
701
00:28:21,553 --> 00:28:22,446
- Amen.
702
00:28:22,447 --> 00:28:23,941
- And that was a very interesting sermon
703
00:28:23,942 --> 00:28:25,255
you preached today, Reverend.
704
00:28:25,256 --> 00:28:26,089
Short, too.
705
00:28:26,090 --> 00:28:28,006
Just the way I like it.
706
00:28:28,868 --> 00:28:31,307
- Well I feel like allpreachers everywhere
707
00:28:31,308 --> 00:28:33,183
should heed to the historical tradition
708
00:28:33,184 --> 00:28:37,935
of being irrelevant yet modernby doing it in less time.
709
00:28:37,936 --> 00:28:40,656
- You know this herepreacher's a very wise man.
710
00:28:40,657 --> 00:28:42,402
- Thank you.
711
00:28:42,403 --> 00:28:43,663
- He is not wise, daddy.
712
00:28:43,664 --> 00:28:47,831
He is a sarcastic man andhe makes fun of old people.
713
00:28:49,065 --> 00:28:51,049
- [Sam] I, it was...
714
00:28:51,050 --> 00:28:53,484
- No offense, Sister.
715
00:28:53,485 --> 00:28:55,025
- I, it was a joke.
716
00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:56,974
She's kidding.
717
00:28:56,975 --> 00:29:00,308
- Well God's power hasa way of changing a man
718
00:29:00,309 --> 00:29:04,309
until he don't hardlyrecognize himself anymore.
719
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:09,048
- So Johnny, that's a strong name.
720
00:29:09,049 --> 00:29:12,095
You know, a lot of prolificmen were named Johnny.
721
00:29:12,096 --> 00:29:15,096
Johnny Carson, Johnny Cash, Johnny Unitas.
722
00:29:15,097 --> 00:29:16,847
- Johnny on the spot.
723
00:29:18,472 --> 00:29:20,833
- Well he was named afterhis daddy, you know.
724
00:29:20,834 --> 00:29:21,834
- Really?
725
00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:24,167
So not the toilet?
726
00:29:26,653 --> 00:29:28,277
So, what do you wanna bewhen you grow up, Johnny?
727
00:29:28,278 --> 00:29:30,549
You aspire to be a lawyer, fireman?
728
00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:33,482
Hey, maybe even a preacher like me, huh?
729
00:29:33,483 --> 00:29:34,660
- Yeah, that's right.
730
00:29:34,661 --> 00:29:36,283
I wanna grow up to be apreacher full of hot air.
731
00:29:36,284 --> 00:29:38,110
Just like you.
732
00:29:38,111 --> 00:29:39,131
- Ooh.
733
00:29:39,132 --> 00:29:40,922
- Or maybe I could be just like my daddy.
734
00:29:40,923 --> 00:29:43,555
A good for nothin' free-loadin' deserter.
735
00:29:43,556 --> 00:29:45,143
At least that's what my mom calls him.
736
00:29:45,144 --> 00:29:47,977
- And I agree with that 100%.
737
00:29:49,248 --> 00:29:53,415
- Johnny, sometimes peoplehurt us but they don't mean to.
738
00:29:56,574 --> 00:29:59,183
When life gives uslemons, we gotta take 'em
739
00:29:59,184 --> 00:30:00,973
like a bowl of cherries.
740
00:30:00,974 --> 00:30:03,613
We gotta play the cards we're dealt.
741
00:30:03,614 --> 00:30:06,703
But we gotta know when to hold 'em,
742
00:30:06,704 --> 00:30:08,537
know when to fold 'em.
743
00:30:13,574 --> 00:30:15,763
- [Johnny] I don't understand.
744
00:30:15,764 --> 00:30:17,033
- Well said.
745
00:30:17,034 --> 00:30:18,034
Let's eat.
746
00:30:22,434 --> 00:30:24,383
- Don't you think it's alittle strange, Sister,
747
00:30:24,384 --> 00:30:27,273
how we can't seem to keepa preacher in this town?
748
00:30:27,274 --> 00:30:29,463
I mean, Reverend Freeman disappears
749
00:30:29,464 --> 00:30:31,703
and the same day the three stooges arrive
750
00:30:31,704 --> 00:30:34,883
and they all know Rusty Pickens.
751
00:30:34,884 --> 00:30:38,303
- Oh honey I learned a long time ago
752
00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:41,643
not to judge a book by its cover.
753
00:30:41,644 --> 00:30:45,793
The Lord has a mighty funnyway of getting his will done
754
00:30:45,794 --> 00:30:49,213
through some very unlikely people.
755
00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:52,413
Besides, that preacher fella's kinda cute.
756
00:30:52,414 --> 00:30:54,483
- He's cute if you think arrogance is cute
757
00:30:54,484 --> 00:30:56,151
and 10 dollar words.
758
00:30:58,274 --> 00:31:01,973
- Now I said it before and I say it now.
759
00:31:01,974 --> 00:31:02,974
He's cute.
760
00:31:03,724 --> 00:31:05,974
- Ladies, that was amazing.
761
00:31:07,914 --> 00:31:08,914
- Thank you.
762
00:31:10,990 --> 00:31:11,823
- Hey mom!
763
00:31:11,824 --> 00:31:14,445
The guys wanna know if I canplay football out in the lawn!
764
00:31:14,446 --> 00:31:15,279
- No, honey.
765
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,929
We've been over this like 100 times.
766
00:31:16,930 --> 00:31:17,930
I'm sorry.
767
00:31:18,642 --> 00:31:19,445
- Oh mom.
768
00:31:19,495 --> 00:31:20,495
- Sorry guy.
769
00:31:21,645 --> 00:31:25,633
Wow, kinda overprotective,don't you think?
770
00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:28,687
Kid's gotta get out there andtoss around the old pigskin.
771
00:31:28,688 --> 00:31:29,785
Roll around in the dirt, you know?
772
00:31:29,786 --> 00:31:31,572
Have some fun.
773
00:31:31,573 --> 00:31:33,077
- That's easy for you to say
774
00:31:33,078 --> 00:31:36,198
'cause you have not spentnights and nights with him
775
00:31:36,199 --> 00:31:39,206
in the hospital with a broken inhaler
776
00:31:39,207 --> 00:31:43,292
gasping for breath dueto an asthma attack.
777
00:31:43,293 --> 00:31:45,816
- True, but what are you gonna do?
778
00:31:45,817 --> 00:31:48,414
Coddle him his whole life?
779
00:31:48,415 --> 00:31:50,571
Gotta give the boy some space!
780
00:31:50,572 --> 00:31:54,023
Otherwise he'll end up withno friends, no girlfriends.
781
00:31:54,024 --> 00:31:58,191
He'll have to find other waysto look and sound successful.
782
00:31:59,238 --> 00:32:00,780
He'll grow up without a real life.
783
00:32:00,781 --> 00:32:01,614
- Right.
784
00:32:01,615 --> 00:32:03,346
Kind of like yours.
785
00:32:03,347 --> 00:32:06,930
Just three middle-agedguys hangin' around.
786
00:32:08,022 --> 00:32:09,853
- I'm not middle-aged.
787
00:32:09,854 --> 00:32:12,695
And anyway, to really be middle-aged
788
00:32:12,696 --> 00:32:14,283
you'd have to know exactlywhen you're gonna die
789
00:32:14,284 --> 00:32:15,745
which, of course, nobody knows,
790
00:32:15,746 --> 00:32:17,737
then divide it in half to find the middle.
791
00:32:17,738 --> 00:32:20,057
So if you live to be 200,you wouldn't be middle-aged
792
00:32:20,058 --> 00:32:22,134
until you were 100.
793
00:32:22,135 --> 00:32:24,452
- Sam, everything that you just said
794
00:32:24,453 --> 00:32:26,893
is compensating for something.
795
00:32:26,894 --> 00:32:31,884
- Oh, okay, like you're notcompensating for something?
796
00:32:31,885 --> 00:32:34,532
Like, oh, I don't know,
797
00:32:34,533 --> 00:32:36,324
husband who walked out on you
798
00:32:36,325 --> 00:32:38,518
and now you don't wannalet your son play football
799
00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:41,848
because you're afraid of losing him too?
800
00:32:41,849 --> 00:32:42,704
- Right.
801
00:32:42,705 --> 00:32:46,246
You have me completely figured out.
802
00:32:46,247 --> 00:32:48,690
I'm compensating everyday because I'm terrified
803
00:32:48,691 --> 00:32:50,639
that my son has something in his lungs
804
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,390
that killed my mom when I was 10.
805
00:32:54,957 --> 00:32:57,070
Do you feel better now, Mr. Perfect?
806
00:32:57,071 --> 00:32:58,782
- I'm not Mr. Perfect.
807
00:32:58,783 --> 00:32:59,677
- Right.
808
00:32:59,678 --> 00:33:01,344
Mr. Pastor, Perfect.
809
00:33:02,443 --> 00:33:03,276
- I'm not Mr. Perfect.
810
00:33:03,277 --> 00:33:05,866
I'm not Pastor Perfect or otherwise.
811
00:33:05,867 --> 00:33:08,200
I lost somebody I love, too.
812
00:33:09,852 --> 00:33:12,210
I don't know why she decidedto marry that other jerk
813
00:33:12,211 --> 00:33:13,628
but there you go.
814
00:33:16,313 --> 00:33:17,313
There.
815
00:33:18,145 --> 00:33:19,404
You happy?
816
00:33:19,405 --> 00:33:20,405
- No.
817
00:33:22,910 --> 00:33:24,077
Are you happy?
818
00:33:25,224 --> 00:33:26,846
- No.
819
00:33:26,847 --> 00:33:30,347
(slow instrumental music)
820
00:33:31,365 --> 00:33:32,828
I'm gonna go not throw football
821
00:33:32,829 --> 00:33:34,493
with my middle-aged buddies.
822
00:33:34,494 --> 00:33:35,494
- Okay.
823
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:37,623
- Thanks for the meal.
824
00:33:37,624 --> 00:33:39,041
- You're welcome.
825
00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:41,978
- See ya in church.
826
00:33:45,502 --> 00:33:49,444
- Lord, you're doingan awesome, awesome job
827
00:33:49,445 --> 00:33:52,251
of working those two over.
828
00:33:52,252 --> 00:33:55,380
I can't wait to seewhat's gonna happen next.
829
00:33:55,381 --> 00:33:59,654
(suspenseful instrumental music)
830
00:33:59,655 --> 00:34:00,822
- Hello, boys.
831
00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:03,349
Jamal, everyone's waitingfor you in the choir room
832
00:34:03,350 --> 00:34:05,098
right down that hall and Frankie,
833
00:34:05,099 --> 00:34:07,584
kid's are right down there waitin' for ya.
834
00:34:07,585 --> 00:34:10,762
Yeah, Sam, don't forget tocheck your appointments.
835
00:34:10,763 --> 00:34:11,862
- Appointments?
836
00:34:11,863 --> 00:34:12,798
- Yeah.
837
00:34:12,799 --> 00:34:14,381
Have fun with that.
838
00:34:18,248 --> 00:34:19,331
- Sweet digs.
839
00:34:22,095 --> 00:34:23,845
- That's your office.
840
00:34:26,820 --> 00:34:28,283
- Ha.
841
00:34:28,284 --> 00:34:29,284
Sweet.
842
00:34:30,321 --> 00:34:31,908
What exactly do I do?
843
00:34:31,909 --> 00:34:33,616
- How do I know?
844
00:34:33,617 --> 00:34:35,284
Just be pastoralish.
845
00:34:37,150 --> 00:34:38,150
- Pastoral.
846
00:34:41,623 --> 00:34:43,706
That needs an apostrophe.
847
00:34:46,983 --> 00:34:47,983
Nice.
848
00:34:48,935 --> 00:34:52,268
(singing out of rhythm)
849
00:35:00,934 --> 00:35:02,184
How may I help?
850
00:35:03,662 --> 00:35:05,245
How may I help you?
851
00:35:07,974 --> 00:35:09,680
May I be of service?
852
00:35:09,681 --> 00:35:11,592
- (singing) Are you ready my brother?
853
00:35:11,593 --> 00:35:12,689
- [Choir] (sings) Oh yeah.
854
00:35:12,690 --> 00:35:14,587
- (singing) Are you ready for the journey?
855
00:35:14,588 --> 00:35:15,929
- [Choir] (sings) Oh yeah.
856
00:35:15,930 --> 00:35:20,772
- (singing out of tune)Do you wanna see Jesus?
857
00:35:20,773 --> 00:35:23,523
(stamping paper)
858
00:35:31,959 --> 00:35:36,126
- I just don't feel in touchwith my inner, you know, self.
859
00:35:38,668 --> 00:35:42,121
What you're missing son, is the light-ah.
860
00:35:42,122 --> 00:35:45,207
I cast thee out (snorts).
861
00:35:45,208 --> 00:35:48,133
Get outta that girl, be gone!
862
00:35:48,134 --> 00:35:50,008
I tell ya, be gone!
863
00:35:50,009 --> 00:35:51,830
- The Pastor will see you now.
864
00:35:51,831 --> 00:35:54,263
- You gotsta help me, Pastor Sam.
865
00:35:54,264 --> 00:35:56,249
I gots the food demon.
866
00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:58,119
All I wanna do is eat!
867
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,761
- The schools don't want our kids.
868
00:36:00,762 --> 00:36:03,079
She says it's cause theydidn't get enough oxygen
869
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,615
in the womb but I say it's'cause of all that dope
870
00:36:06,616 --> 00:36:09,127
she smoked while she was pregnant.
871
00:36:09,128 --> 00:36:11,684
- How many wives did King David have?
872
00:36:11,685 --> 00:36:14,691
'Cause I was thinkin' ofgettin' me a couple of more.
873
00:36:14,692 --> 00:36:17,170
- Now I'm not one to gossipor anything like that.
874
00:36:17,171 --> 00:36:18,960
- If you knew what I knew.
875
00:36:18,961 --> 00:36:20,380
- But of course, you couldn't.
876
00:36:20,381 --> 00:36:22,376
- I had a medical condition.
877
00:36:22,377 --> 00:36:23,844
- What medical condition?
878
00:36:23,845 --> 00:36:25,839
- Por-no-gra-phy.
879
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,707
- Landry, dishes.
880
00:36:27,708 --> 00:36:29,616
- I was pregnant.
881
00:36:29,617 --> 00:36:30,593
Duh!
882
00:36:30,594 --> 00:36:33,800
- And when you're sittin'in front of a handsome...
883
00:36:33,801 --> 00:36:36,686
- Young (rolls tongue) Reverend...
884
00:36:36,687 --> 00:36:38,150
- Such as...
885
00:36:38,151 --> 00:36:39,151
- Yourself.
886
00:36:44,088 --> 00:36:46,338
- So, what can I do for ya?
887
00:36:47,466 --> 00:36:51,496
- [Both] God told me thatyou're supposed to marry me.
888
00:36:51,497 --> 00:36:53,125
Now.
889
00:36:53,126 --> 00:36:55,626
Are you gonna obey God or not?
890
00:36:57,231 --> 00:37:00,148
(dark organ music)
891
00:37:02,075 --> 00:37:05,742
(upbeat instrumental music)
892
00:37:11,966 --> 00:37:13,064
- What are we doin' here, man?
893
00:37:13,065 --> 00:37:14,447
This could be like our day off.
894
00:37:14,448 --> 00:37:15,544
- I don't think we get to take days off
895
00:37:15,545 --> 00:37:17,413
now that we're professional ministers.
896
00:37:17,414 --> 00:37:19,123
It's just a picnic.
897
00:37:19,124 --> 00:37:19,925
- Wait a minute.
898
00:37:19,975 --> 00:37:20,860
I know why we're here.
899
00:37:20,910 --> 00:37:21,710
She's here, ain't she?
900
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:22,593
- [Frankie] Who's here?
901
00:37:22,594 --> 00:37:23,636
- I don't know what you're talking about.
902
00:37:23,637 --> 00:37:25,220
Hello congregation!
903
00:37:26,265 --> 00:37:29,574
Just thought I'd swing by andsee how my flock is doing.
904
00:37:29,575 --> 00:37:30,916
- [Johnny] Hey mom, the guys are here!
905
00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:34,292
- Hey, um, I think today youcould throw a few passes.
906
00:37:34,293 --> 00:37:35,126
- Really?
907
00:37:35,127 --> 00:37:36,543
- [Tiffany] Yeah.
908
00:37:39,164 --> 00:37:41,446
- I thought you didn't want him to...
909
00:37:41,447 --> 00:37:42,230
- Pass it to me!
910
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,063
Pass it to me!
911
00:37:43,113 --> 00:37:43,896
Right here!
912
00:37:43,946 --> 00:37:44,779
Right here!
913
00:37:44,780 --> 00:37:46,007
- Yeah, you're probably right.
914
00:37:46,008 --> 00:37:47,388
I'm a little overprotective.
915
00:37:47,389 --> 00:37:48,812
- Nice catch!
916
00:37:48,813 --> 00:37:52,558
- He probably needs alittle time with the guys.
917
00:37:52,559 --> 00:37:55,559
- I think that is surprisingly cool.
918
00:37:57,399 --> 00:37:58,455
Go deep!
919
00:37:58,456 --> 00:37:59,456
Go deep!
920
00:38:00,521 --> 00:38:02,021
- Good to see you.
921
00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:04,581
Oh, thank you.
922
00:38:07,803 --> 00:38:10,386
(kids yelling)
923
00:38:12,727 --> 00:38:15,002
- So the other day we kindagot off on the wrong foot.
924
00:38:15,003 --> 00:38:18,865
I really didn't give you much of a chance.
925
00:38:18,866 --> 00:38:21,917
Probably wasn't verygodly or Christiany of me
926
00:38:21,918 --> 00:38:24,115
for that matter but...
927
00:38:24,116 --> 00:38:27,033
- Jamal, put down the hot dog, man.
928
00:38:30,212 --> 00:38:34,233
I, I'm glad you're givingus another crack at it.
929
00:38:34,234 --> 00:38:35,484
- Yeah, me too.
930
00:38:36,469 --> 00:38:39,891
- Hey Johnny, go for the long one!
931
00:38:39,892 --> 00:38:43,350
(Johnny coughing)
932
00:38:43,351 --> 00:38:45,095
- Hey, Johnny!
933
00:38:45,096 --> 00:38:46,233
You okay Pal?
934
00:38:46,234 --> 00:38:47,735
- It's okay, Sam.
935
00:38:47,736 --> 00:38:49,118
Sam, I gotcha.
936
00:38:49,119 --> 00:38:51,315
Here baby, come here.
937
00:38:51,316 --> 00:38:52,816
Ready, breathe in.
938
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,001
Breathe in.
939
00:38:58,599 --> 00:39:00,432
Three, two, one, okay?
940
00:39:02,658 --> 00:39:03,658
Good.
941
00:39:04,895 --> 00:39:06,895
Breathe, good job, good.
942
00:39:11,042 --> 00:39:12,625
- Good one, Johnny.
943
00:39:14,868 --> 00:39:17,062
(church bell rings)
944
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:20,563
(all singing out of tune)
945
00:39:30,775 --> 00:39:32,358
- Hey shut it down!
946
00:39:33,586 --> 00:39:35,295
Shut it off!
947
00:39:35,296 --> 00:39:37,796
(phone rings)
948
00:39:38,707 --> 00:39:40,126
Hey, Cousin Mal!
949
00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:41,432
Ya, you here?
950
00:39:41,433 --> 00:39:42,894
I'm comin' out.
951
00:39:42,895 --> 00:39:44,189
- What is he doing?
952
00:39:44,190 --> 00:39:45,940
- I'll be right back.
953
00:39:46,794 --> 00:39:49,115
I gotta little quick engagement.
954
00:39:49,116 --> 00:39:50,902
I gotta handle a little business outside.
955
00:39:50,903 --> 00:39:53,875
In the meantime, I'mgonna bring up my faithful
956
00:39:53,876 --> 00:39:55,218
brother in the Lord.
957
00:39:55,219 --> 00:39:57,410
Frankie, come on up here!
958
00:39:57,411 --> 00:39:59,118
C'mon Frankie, come on up here.
959
00:39:59,119 --> 00:40:00,369
Hurry up Frank!
960
00:40:02,982 --> 00:40:03,765
Do something.
961
00:40:03,815 --> 00:40:04,598
- But I don't know.
962
00:40:04,648 --> 00:40:05,648
- Hey.
963
00:40:06,674 --> 00:40:08,507
- Where are you going?
964
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,377
- [Jamal] Hey Cousin Ma!
965
00:40:13,378 --> 00:40:14,211
What's up, cuz?
966
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:15,365
How you doin' man?
967
00:40:15,366 --> 00:40:17,476
- [Cousin] Jamal, my man, cameas soon as I got your call.
968
00:40:17,477 --> 00:40:19,059
- [Jamal] Hey man look,I need you to help me
969
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:21,051
put some life in this old church!
970
00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:21,885
- [Cousin] No problem Jamal,
971
00:40:21,886 --> 00:40:24,788
my girls'll get 'em crackin' for real!
972
00:40:24,789 --> 00:40:27,956
(singing out of tune)
973
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,156
- Brothers and sisters!
974
00:40:33,733 --> 00:40:35,197
Woo!
975
00:40:35,198 --> 00:40:36,615
It's praise time!
976
00:40:39,513 --> 00:40:40,513
It's time
977
00:40:41,262 --> 00:40:42,845
for us to have some
978
00:40:44,797 --> 00:40:46,466
good God, church!
979
00:40:46,467 --> 00:40:49,442
(upbeat Gospel music)
980
00:40:49,443 --> 00:40:51,642
♫ Without faith
981
00:40:51,643 --> 00:40:53,515
♫ It's impossible to please him
982
00:40:53,516 --> 00:40:55,385
♫ Without faith
983
00:40:55,386 --> 00:40:57,666
♫ So impossible to reach him
984
00:40:57,667 --> 00:40:59,704
♫ Without faith
985
00:40:59,705 --> 00:41:02,145
♫ You never know how much you need him
986
00:41:02,146 --> 00:41:04,410
♫ Everyone who comes to God
987
00:41:04,411 --> 00:41:06,119
♫ Must believe he is
988
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,992
♫ Without faith
989
00:41:07,993 --> 00:41:09,826
♫ It's impossible to please him
990
00:41:09,827 --> 00:41:11,694
♫ Without faith
991
00:41:11,695 --> 00:41:13,933
♫ So impossible to reach him
992
00:41:13,934 --> 00:41:15,769
♫ Without faith
993
00:41:15,770 --> 00:41:18,249
♫ You never know how much you need him
994
00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:20,284
♫ Everyone who comes to God
995
00:41:20,285 --> 00:41:24,624
♫ Must believe he is and he rewards
996
00:41:24,625 --> 00:41:26,653
♫ Still and receive him
997
00:41:26,654 --> 00:41:28,120
♫ Faith
998
00:41:28,121 --> 00:41:30,561
♫ It's the only way to please him
999
00:41:30,562 --> 00:41:32,397
♫ Faith
1000
00:41:32,398 --> 00:41:34,431
♫ If you wanna please God
1001
00:41:34,432 --> 00:41:38,291
♫ Come to him in faith
1002
00:41:38,292 --> 00:41:39,125
♫ 'Cause he's real
1003
00:41:39,126 --> 00:41:40,147
♫ 'Cause he's real
1004
00:41:40,148 --> 00:41:41,007
♫ He really cares
1005
00:41:41,008 --> 00:41:42,350
♫ He really cares
1006
00:41:42,351 --> 00:41:44,433
♫ He really loves you
1007
00:41:44,434 --> 00:41:46,234
♫ He really cares
1008
00:41:46,235 --> 00:41:47,657
♫ 'Cause he's real
1009
00:41:47,658 --> 00:41:48,715
♫ My God, he's real
1010
00:41:48,716 --> 00:41:50,219
♫ He really cares
1011
00:41:50,220 --> 00:41:52,050
♫ He really loves you
1012
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,294
♫ He really cares
1013
00:41:54,295 --> 00:41:56,209
♫ 'Cause he's real
1014
00:41:56,210 --> 00:41:57,742
♫ He really cares
1015
00:41:57,743 --> 00:41:59,843
♫ He really loves you
1016
00:41:59,844 --> 00:42:02,315
♫ He really cares
1017
00:42:02,316 --> 00:42:04,065
♫ 'Cause he's real
1018
00:42:04,066 --> 00:42:06,323
♫ He's really there
1019
00:42:06,324 --> 00:42:08,022
♫ He really loves you
1020
00:42:08,023 --> 00:42:10,172
♫ He really cares
1021
00:42:10,173 --> 00:42:13,090
♫ 'Cause he's real
1022
00:42:17,864 --> 00:42:20,133
- What did I tell you, Jamal?
1023
00:42:20,134 --> 00:42:21,190
Paycheck!
1024
00:42:21,191 --> 00:42:23,793
We're in a real bank about tocash in on some legit money!
1025
00:42:23,794 --> 00:42:27,010
- [Jamal] 'Cause you knowa brother got to get paid!
1026
00:42:27,011 --> 00:42:28,924
- Yeah, that's how that works.
1027
00:42:28,925 --> 00:42:30,427
(coins spilling on floor)
1028
00:42:30,428 --> 00:42:32,138
- [Jamal] Oh that's Tiffany!
1029
00:42:32,139 --> 00:42:34,422
- Oh, hey Tiffany!
1030
00:42:34,423 --> 00:42:35,299
Hi.
1031
00:42:35,349 --> 00:42:36,132
- Hi.
1032
00:42:36,182 --> 00:42:36,965
- Wow.
1033
00:42:37,015 --> 00:42:37,848
What happened to you?
1034
00:42:37,849 --> 00:42:39,895
Hit a big casino?
1035
00:42:39,896 --> 00:42:42,829
- No, I work at the senior center
1036
00:42:42,830 --> 00:42:44,622
and Miss Thompson insiststhat I personally deposit
1037
00:42:44,623 --> 00:42:46,982
her bingo change every week.
1038
00:42:46,983 --> 00:42:49,389
- Well look at you.
1039
00:42:49,390 --> 00:42:50,731
You're a church-going supermom
1040
00:42:50,732 --> 00:42:52,761
who works with old people.
1041
00:42:52,762 --> 00:42:55,569
You're really givingJesus a run for his money.
1042
00:42:55,570 --> 00:42:56,570
- Bingo.
1043
00:42:57,688 --> 00:43:00,452
Hi, I just need to deposit this.
1044
00:43:00,453 --> 00:43:01,453
- Cash that.
1045
00:43:03,909 --> 00:43:07,449
So this preaching gig'spretty light midweek.
1046
00:43:07,450 --> 00:43:10,377
How about I take you for a ride
1047
00:43:10,378 --> 00:43:12,461
in a classic convertible?
1048
00:43:14,701 --> 00:43:17,545
You can show the new guy around town.
1049
00:43:17,546 --> 00:43:20,232
- That actually would be really fun
1050
00:43:20,233 --> 00:43:21,903
but I have to pick up Johnny from school.
1051
00:43:21,904 --> 00:43:25,566
We have homework and it's corn dog night.
1052
00:43:25,567 --> 00:43:26,666
- Of course, corn dog night.
1053
00:43:26,667 --> 00:43:29,000
How can I compete with that?
1054
00:43:30,659 --> 00:43:32,326
Another time, maybe?
1055
00:43:34,884 --> 00:43:37,970
- Maybe, yeah, another time.
1056
00:43:37,971 --> 00:43:39,515
- Alright.
1057
00:43:39,516 --> 00:43:40,349
Bye.
1058
00:43:40,350 --> 00:43:41,384
- Bye.
1059
00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:44,885
(slow instrumental music)
1060
00:43:52,002 --> 00:43:53,752
- [Kids] Hi, Frankie!
1061
00:43:54,725 --> 00:43:55,725
- Hi!
1062
00:43:57,282 --> 00:44:00,532
- Frankie, Frankie, I made this for ya!
1063
00:44:07,849 --> 00:44:08,849
- Thank you.
1064
00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:11,903
- Pizza time!
1065
00:44:13,351 --> 00:44:14,768
I am so fired up.
1066
00:44:17,293 --> 00:44:20,426
One more week and we outta here.
1067
00:44:20,427 --> 00:44:22,340
We done done our time.
1068
00:44:22,341 --> 00:44:25,258
Fellas, we done paid for our crime.
1069
00:44:26,205 --> 00:44:29,332
- What are we gonna goback to though, fellas?
1070
00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:31,327
We got nothing to go back to.
1071
00:44:31,328 --> 00:44:32,911
I mean I'm serious.
1072
00:44:32,912 --> 00:44:34,454
I like it here.
1073
00:44:34,455 --> 00:44:36,731
This is the best I've ever dressed.
1074
00:44:36,732 --> 00:44:38,392
I like getting dressed up for church.
1075
00:44:38,393 --> 00:44:39,609
We're gettin' paid.
1076
00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:41,610
- Frankie, are you okay?
1077
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,389
- You know, honestly,
1078
00:44:46,445 --> 00:44:48,963
I don't think it would beso bad to settle down here.
1079
00:44:48,964 --> 00:44:52,213
- And what you gonna be, the fake pastor?
1080
00:44:52,214 --> 00:44:54,451
- The money's not bad and thepeople are pretty good, too.
1081
00:44:54,452 --> 00:44:56,162
- Fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas,
1082
00:44:56,163 --> 00:44:57,301
I mean come on.
1083
00:44:57,302 --> 00:44:58,767
You guys aren't makin' any sense.
1084
00:44:58,768 --> 00:45:00,677
Before you wanna settle down here
1085
00:45:00,678 --> 00:45:02,994
with your little Miss Sunshineand all of that good stuff,
1086
00:45:02,995 --> 00:45:07,906
pastor a church, you mightwanna consider believing in God!
1087
00:45:07,907 --> 00:45:09,606
- I'm working on it.
1088
00:45:09,607 --> 00:45:11,801
(phone rings)
1089
00:45:11,802 --> 00:45:13,267
- [Jamal] Oh he's working on it, okay.
1090
00:45:13,268 --> 00:45:14,268
We hope.
1091
00:45:15,141 --> 00:45:16,929
- Pastor Sam, how can I save you?
1092
00:45:16,930 --> 00:45:18,474
- How may I save you?
1093
00:45:18,475 --> 00:45:19,489
- Shh, he's on the phone, man.
1094
00:45:19,490 --> 00:45:20,323
- What?
1095
00:45:20,324 --> 00:45:22,576
Yeah, no, slow down, Tiffany.
1096
00:45:22,577 --> 00:45:25,013
(dramatic instrumental music)
1097
00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:26,798
No absolutely, right now.
1098
00:45:26,799 --> 00:45:27,774
Johnny's in the hospital.
1099
00:45:27,775 --> 00:45:29,154
He's not breathing.
1100
00:45:29,155 --> 00:45:32,655
(instrumental rock music)
1101
00:45:39,045 --> 00:45:39,828
- [Sam] Hey.
1102
00:45:39,878 --> 00:45:40,878
- Hi.
1103
00:45:41,611 --> 00:45:42,624
Thanks for coming.
1104
00:45:42,625 --> 00:45:43,764
- Of course.
1105
00:45:43,765 --> 00:45:46,369
I jumped in the car as soon as you called.
1106
00:45:46,370 --> 00:45:48,033
How is he?
1107
00:45:48,034 --> 00:45:49,015
- Not good.
1108
00:45:49,016 --> 00:45:51,613
But I'm hoping you can get in there.
1109
00:45:51,614 --> 00:45:54,009
- Yeah, we'll go inthere and see if we can't
1110
00:45:54,010 --> 00:45:56,041
cheer the little guy up.
1111
00:45:56,042 --> 00:45:58,155
- Will you pray for him?
1112
00:45:58,156 --> 00:45:59,418
- Pray for him?
1113
00:45:59,419 --> 00:46:00,799
- Yeah.
1114
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,421
Pray for my son's healing
1115
00:46:02,422 --> 00:46:04,589
so that he can get better.
1116
00:46:05,965 --> 00:46:08,040
Come on, the doctors are leaving.
1117
00:46:08,041 --> 00:46:10,374
- Tiffany, Tiffany, I can't.
1118
00:46:11,944 --> 00:46:13,204
- No, yeah, it's okay.
1119
00:46:13,205 --> 00:46:16,742
- No, no, I mean, I really, I can't.
1120
00:46:16,743 --> 00:46:19,713
I mean, making up a blessingbefore we have lunch
1121
00:46:19,714 --> 00:46:23,907
is one thing but I can'tgo pray to heal a sick kid.
1122
00:46:23,908 --> 00:46:24,908
- Why?
1123
00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:27,949
- 'Cause I don't believe it.
1124
00:46:28,868 --> 00:46:30,734
(slow instrumental music)
1125
00:46:30,735 --> 00:46:33,402
Tiffany I'm not a real preacher.
1126
00:46:37,322 --> 00:46:41,489
We ran into trouble andRusty Pickens bailed us out
1127
00:46:42,734 --> 00:46:46,308
and offered us these jobspretending to be ministers.
1128
00:46:46,309 --> 00:46:47,976
But we're faking it.
1129
00:46:51,519 --> 00:46:54,772
I can't pray for a miracle or a blessing.
1130
00:46:54,773 --> 00:46:57,690
I can't pray to heal a common cold.
1131
00:47:03,351 --> 00:47:04,851
- Just leave, Sam.
1132
00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:10,626
(door closes)
1133
00:47:10,627 --> 00:47:14,127
(slow instrumental music)
1134
00:47:25,753 --> 00:47:29,253
(instrumental rock music)
1135
00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:57,968
- Hey oh no, excuse me guys.
1136
00:47:57,969 --> 00:48:00,528
No, no, I gotta get through there.
1137
00:48:00,529 --> 00:48:01,877
I really need to see Rusty.
1138
00:48:01,878 --> 00:48:02,711
See?
1139
00:48:02,712 --> 00:48:04,211
He's waving me in.
1140
00:48:11,229 --> 00:48:13,180
- What can I do for you, Reverend?
1141
00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:13,964
- It's over.
1142
00:48:14,014 --> 00:48:14,797
I'm done.
1143
00:48:14,847 --> 00:48:15,630
I can't do it anymore!
1144
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:16,513
- Whoa now, hold your horses.
1145
00:48:16,514 --> 00:48:18,950
Boys, get the Reverend a drink.
1146
00:48:18,951 --> 00:48:20,048
- I don't drink.
1147
00:48:20,049 --> 00:48:21,629
And stop callin' me that!
1148
00:48:21,630 --> 00:48:23,462
- Look, would you relax?
1149
00:48:23,463 --> 00:48:25,173
It's only gonna be a couple more days
1150
00:48:25,174 --> 00:48:27,166
and you go before Judge Cartwright
1151
00:48:27,167 --> 00:48:30,013
and he throws out the caseand you're free to go.
1152
00:48:30,014 --> 00:48:32,253
- I'm not doing a couple more days.
1153
00:48:32,254 --> 00:48:33,037
- Is it the money?
1154
00:48:33,087 --> 00:48:33,920
You need a raise?
1155
00:48:33,921 --> 00:48:35,179
- No, it's not the money!
1156
00:48:35,180 --> 00:48:36,400
- Then what is it?
1157
00:48:36,401 --> 00:48:38,027
- What we're doing, Rusty!
1158
00:48:38,028 --> 00:48:39,278
It's not right!
1159
00:48:41,119 --> 00:48:45,286
- (laughs) Before you go Mr. Moral on me,
1160
00:48:46,812 --> 00:48:50,069
I've got something I wanna show you.
1161
00:48:50,070 --> 00:48:51,987
Might change your mind.
1162
00:48:54,217 --> 00:48:58,384
Now then, Sam, church, aswe know it, is in the past.
1163
00:49:01,093 --> 00:49:03,292
I mean people want progress.
1164
00:49:03,293 --> 00:49:07,033
They want big and Iintend to give it to 'em.
1165
00:49:07,034 --> 00:49:09,510
I'm gonna tear down that little chapel
1166
00:49:09,511 --> 00:49:12,000
and I'm gonna replace it with this.
1167
00:49:12,001 --> 00:49:13,955
(Sam whistles)
1168
00:49:13,956 --> 00:49:17,337
I call it my spiritual shopping complex.
1169
00:49:17,338 --> 00:49:19,734
A mega mall church, if you will.
1170
00:49:19,735 --> 00:49:21,236
We'll have a sushi bar.
1171
00:49:21,237 --> 00:49:23,309
We'll have a cineplex.
1172
00:49:23,310 --> 00:49:25,955
We'll have clothing boutiquesfor the ladies, of course,
1173
00:49:25,956 --> 00:49:30,635
and right smack dab in themiddle is Rusty's Sports Bar.
1174
00:49:30,636 --> 00:49:32,386
- It's impressive but
1175
00:49:34,871 --> 00:49:37,800
don't people usually goto church to find God?
1176
00:49:37,801 --> 00:49:38,801
- Find God?
1177
00:49:39,633 --> 00:49:40,466
No!
1178
00:49:40,467 --> 00:49:42,843
They go to church to find themselves!
1179
00:49:42,844 --> 00:49:45,528
But I'll tell you the mostimpressive thing about this
1180
00:49:45,529 --> 00:49:48,779
is it is paid for by tax-free donations
1181
00:49:49,713 --> 00:49:53,973
and contributions from thefine citizens of Rocky Road.
1182
00:49:53,974 --> 00:49:55,596
- So you and Beverlyhave been stealing money
1183
00:49:55,597 --> 00:49:58,481
from the church so you can build this.
1184
00:49:58,482 --> 00:50:00,638
- I'm doing the town a favor!
1185
00:50:00,639 --> 00:50:02,972
I'm investing in the future.
1186
00:50:04,911 --> 00:50:07,244
God is a hot commodity, Sam,
1187
00:50:08,645 --> 00:50:11,982
and I want you to bemy number one salesman.
1188
00:50:11,983 --> 00:50:13,849
Imagine this.
1189
00:50:13,850 --> 00:50:16,044
Every shop in the mall,
1190
00:50:16,045 --> 00:50:18,895
in every corner there'sa flat screen television
1191
00:50:18,896 --> 00:50:20,686
with you preaching on it
1192
00:50:20,687 --> 00:50:24,672
telling people how toachieve love and success.
1193
00:50:24,673 --> 00:50:26,090
What'd you think?
1194
00:50:28,664 --> 00:50:29,831
- Ah, I think,
1195
00:50:31,793 --> 00:50:32,793
I think,
1196
00:50:35,654 --> 00:50:36,654
I think,
1197
00:50:37,814 --> 00:50:40,746
I think it's flippin' brilliant!
1198
00:50:40,747 --> 00:50:43,675
I mean it offers the superfluous lifestyle
1199
00:50:43,676 --> 00:50:45,997
that Americans know and love
1200
00:50:45,998 --> 00:50:48,602
while still painting it inthe whitewash of religion!
1201
00:50:48,603 --> 00:50:50,069
- [Rusty] Yeah, and you can be famous!
1202
00:50:50,070 --> 00:50:51,084
- Rich and famous!
1203
00:50:51,085 --> 00:50:52,873
- Oh it's the chance of a lifetime!
1204
00:50:52,874 --> 00:50:53,707
I'm telling you.
1205
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,598
- I've spent my entire life chasing
1206
00:50:55,599 --> 00:50:58,642
the chance of a lifetimebut I'm always too late!
1207
00:50:58,643 --> 00:51:00,840
Right now, spot on time!
1208
00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:02,181
- Amen brother!
1209
00:51:02,182 --> 00:51:04,050
So you're with me?
1210
00:51:04,051 --> 00:51:06,486
- Ah Rusty, I wanna be with you.
1211
00:51:06,487 --> 00:51:08,320
I want to be with you!
1212
00:51:12,180 --> 00:51:13,597
But if I do this,
1213
00:51:14,866 --> 00:51:17,549
I'm gonna be late forsomething more important.
1214
00:51:17,550 --> 00:51:20,156
- What in the Sam Hillare you talking about?
1215
00:51:20,157 --> 00:51:24,180
- Rusty, there's a sick kidand a scared mom who need me.
1216
00:51:24,181 --> 00:51:26,764
Only I got nothing to give 'em.
1217
00:51:27,923 --> 00:51:31,840
I can't give 'em faith'cause I don't have any.
1218
00:51:33,663 --> 00:51:38,378
I can't pray for 'em 'causeI don't have it in me.
1219
00:51:38,379 --> 00:51:41,427
I can't sell religion, Rusty.
1220
00:51:41,428 --> 00:51:43,460
I thought I could.
1221
00:51:43,461 --> 00:51:44,461
But...
1222
00:51:46,307 --> 00:51:48,014
It got to me.
1223
00:51:48,015 --> 00:51:49,265
They got to me.
1224
00:51:54,685 --> 00:51:55,685
I quit.
1225
00:51:56,517 --> 00:51:57,862
- You can't quit!
1226
00:51:57,863 --> 00:51:59,408
You know too much!
1227
00:51:59,409 --> 00:52:00,832
If you walk out that door
1228
00:52:00,833 --> 00:52:03,063
I'm gonna make you regretever comin' to this town!
1229
00:52:03,064 --> 00:52:05,097
(heavy rock music)
1230
00:52:05,098 --> 00:52:08,348
Officer Marrow, I've got a job for you.
1231
00:52:15,869 --> 00:52:19,702
(car engine not turning over)
1232
00:52:28,483 --> 00:52:31,652
(Sam exclaims)
1233
00:52:31,653 --> 00:52:35,153
(slow instrumental music)
1234
00:52:52,083 --> 00:52:53,583
- [Man 1] Come on.
1235
00:52:58,186 --> 00:52:59,444
- [Man 2] It's locked.
1236
00:52:59,445 --> 00:53:00,946
- [Man 1] I got a key.
1237
00:53:00,947 --> 00:53:02,132
- [Man 2] How'd you get a key?
1238
00:53:02,133 --> 00:53:05,633
- [Man 1] Rusty's got a key to everything.
1239
00:53:06,816 --> 00:53:08,566
Frankie, hey Frankie.
1240
00:53:10,113 --> 00:53:11,779
- Hello Frankie.
1241
00:53:11,780 --> 00:53:12,920
- Officer Marrow?
1242
00:53:12,921 --> 00:53:14,788
- [Officer] Come on,let's get out of here.
1243
00:53:14,789 --> 00:53:17,956
(dramatic rock music)
1244
00:53:24,974 --> 00:53:27,474
(phone rings)
1245
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:32,099
- Hey, what's up Jamal?
1246
00:53:32,100 --> 00:53:34,300
- Oh hey man, we got trouble, Sam!
1247
00:53:34,301 --> 00:53:35,401
- Is it Johnny?
1248
00:53:35,402 --> 00:53:36,784
- Hey no, no, not Johnny.
1249
00:53:36,785 --> 00:53:37,568
Frankie!
1250
00:53:37,618 --> 00:53:38,401
- Frankie?
1251
00:53:38,451 --> 00:53:39,386
What's wrong with Frankie?
1252
00:53:39,387 --> 00:53:40,720
- I don't know man, I musthave fell asleep, man,
1253
00:53:40,721 --> 00:53:42,505
'cause all I know I heard some commotion
1254
00:53:42,506 --> 00:53:44,378
in the living room
1255
00:53:44,379 --> 00:53:47,022
and somebody was yelling,something like that man
1256
00:53:47,023 --> 00:53:49,057
and I saw Frankie in theback seat of a car, man!
1257
00:53:49,058 --> 00:53:50,564
They were driving him down the street!
1258
00:53:50,565 --> 00:53:51,542
- Oh no.
1259
00:53:51,543 --> 00:53:52,597
- [Jamal] Oh man, what we gonna do, Sam?
1260
00:53:52,598 --> 00:53:53,495
We gotta come up with a plan!
1261
00:53:53,496 --> 00:53:54,511
- I don't know!
1262
00:53:54,512 --> 00:53:55,895
- What do you mean you don't know?
1263
00:53:55,896 --> 00:53:56,952
I'm a black man in the boondocks
1264
00:53:56,953 --> 00:53:59,271
and you know they coming after me next!
1265
00:53:59,272 --> 00:54:00,651
- Alright look, just calm down!
1266
00:54:00,652 --> 00:54:02,076
Get outta there!
1267
00:54:02,077 --> 00:54:02,971
Meet me at the church.
1268
00:54:02,972 --> 00:54:04,315
- Go to the church?
1269
00:54:04,316 --> 00:54:05,149
I ain't got no car.
1270
00:54:05,150 --> 00:54:06,422
- That's why God gave us faith!
1271
00:54:06,423 --> 00:54:09,633
(slams phone down)
1272
00:54:09,634 --> 00:54:13,801
- (sings) Jesus loves me this I know.
1273
00:54:14,639 --> 00:54:15,639
- Oh boy.
1274
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,268
This isn't good.
1275
00:54:18,269 --> 00:54:19,269
Oh, perfect.
1276
00:54:20,420 --> 00:54:21,676
What else?
1277
00:54:21,677 --> 00:54:22,533
Ah!
1278
00:54:22,534 --> 00:54:23,710
- Gimme your wallet.
1279
00:54:23,711 --> 00:54:24,514
- Seriously?
1280
00:54:24,564 --> 00:54:25,347
- No I'm being facetious.
1281
00:54:25,397 --> 00:54:26,397
Wallet!
1282
00:54:30,165 --> 00:54:31,915
- The leather's fake!
1283
00:54:34,648 --> 00:54:38,387
(slow instrumental music)
1284
00:54:38,388 --> 00:54:39,486
(thunder clashing)
1285
00:54:39,487 --> 00:54:42,070
(rain falling)
1286
00:54:47,461 --> 00:54:50,182
(thunder clashing)
1287
00:54:50,183 --> 00:54:53,683
(slow instrumental music)
1288
00:55:28,562 --> 00:55:29,562
Jamal?
1289
00:55:33,075 --> 00:55:34,075
Jamal?
1290
00:55:40,074 --> 00:55:41,074
Alright.
1291
00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:47,009
(Sam exhales)
1292
00:55:57,924 --> 00:55:58,924
Hello?
1293
00:56:00,934 --> 00:56:02,351
Anybody up there?
1294
00:56:05,771 --> 00:56:06,854
Knock, knock.
1295
00:56:09,109 --> 00:56:12,276
Great, I'm playing knock, knock jokes.
1296
00:56:13,990 --> 00:56:14,773
Knock, knock?
1297
00:56:14,823 --> 00:56:15,606
Who's there?
1298
00:56:15,656 --> 00:56:16,439
God.
1299
00:56:16,489 --> 00:56:17,489
God who?
1300
00:56:22,488 --> 00:56:24,988
Well that's just it, isn't it?
1301
00:56:31,474 --> 00:56:33,869
- Oh, hey Reverend.
1302
00:56:33,870 --> 00:56:35,953
I didn't see you come in.
1303
00:56:37,119 --> 00:56:38,504
- Do I know you?
1304
00:56:38,505 --> 00:56:40,588
- Nah, you don't know me.
1305
00:56:42,085 --> 00:56:43,585
But I do know you.
1306
00:56:46,514 --> 00:56:50,514
Just call me Mr. Patterson,the maintenance man.
1307
00:56:52,859 --> 00:56:54,406
Now you wouldn't mind if I just continued
1308
00:56:54,407 --> 00:56:56,646
to work here quietly now, would you?
1309
00:56:56,647 --> 00:56:57,647
- Go ahead.
1310
00:56:59,456 --> 00:57:02,420
I don't know what I'm doing here anyway.
1311
00:57:02,421 --> 00:57:07,251
Don't believe in any ofthis religious mumbo jumbo.
1312
00:57:07,252 --> 00:57:08,419
- Mumbo jumbo?
1313
00:57:09,533 --> 00:57:12,866
Is that what you think all this is?
1314
00:57:12,867 --> 00:57:15,996
(laughs) Mumbo jumbo seems to me describes
1315
00:57:15,997 --> 00:57:19,172
more the way your life's been goin'.
1316
00:57:19,173 --> 00:57:21,085
Now we got a sick boy in the hospital
1317
00:57:21,086 --> 00:57:23,115
and you can't get yourmumbo nor your jumbo
1318
00:57:23,116 --> 00:57:24,449
to work for you.
1319
00:57:25,519 --> 00:57:27,548
Ain't that right?
1320
00:57:27,549 --> 00:57:28,882
- Yeah, I guess.
1321
00:57:31,411 --> 00:57:32,999
- I was wondering if maybe you could
1322
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,180
just do me a little favor.
1323
00:57:34,181 --> 00:57:36,248
You know maintenance man can always use
1324
00:57:36,249 --> 00:57:37,550
another pair of hands.
1325
00:57:37,551 --> 00:57:41,083
You think you could come and help me?
1326
00:57:41,084 --> 00:57:41,867
- Sure.
1327
00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:42,917
Why not?
1328
00:57:43,972 --> 00:57:47,472
(slow instrumental music)
1329
00:57:48,850 --> 00:57:51,129
- Now here's all you gotta do.
1330
00:57:51,130 --> 00:57:53,931
You just take this screwdriver right here
1331
00:57:53,932 --> 00:57:56,861
and just put it, and put it right...
1332
00:57:56,862 --> 00:57:57,708
- Right there?
1333
00:57:57,758 --> 00:57:58,653
- Right there.
1334
00:57:58,654 --> 00:58:01,095
(electricity jolting)
1335
00:58:01,096 --> 00:58:04,013
(heavy rock music)
1336
00:58:09,710 --> 00:58:10,710
- Hello?
1337
00:58:11,541 --> 00:58:13,861
Ah, Mr. Patterson?
1338
00:58:13,862 --> 00:58:16,445
Something's wrong with my eyes!
1339
00:58:17,557 --> 00:58:18,557
Hello?
1340
00:58:19,786 --> 00:58:21,287
Somebody, anybody, help me!
1341
00:58:21,288 --> 00:58:22,992
I can't see!
1342
00:58:22,993 --> 00:58:25,910
(heavy rock music)
1343
00:58:27,952 --> 00:58:30,065
- [God] Funny thing being around me.
1344
00:58:30,066 --> 00:58:32,379
Those who say they're blind can see.
1345
00:58:32,380 --> 00:58:35,673
And those who think theycan see become blind.
1346
00:58:35,674 --> 00:58:38,727
(laughs) Guess we know whatkind of person you are.
1347
00:58:38,728 --> 00:58:40,720
- Mr. Patterson?
1348
00:58:40,721 --> 00:58:42,304
- [God] Ah, but don't worry.
1349
00:58:42,305 --> 00:58:43,564
It eventually wears off.
1350
00:58:43,565 --> 00:58:44,348
- What does?
1351
00:58:44,398 --> 00:58:45,356
The blindness?
1352
00:58:45,357 --> 00:58:46,857
- [God] Look on the bright side, Sam.
1353
00:58:46,858 --> 00:58:47,691
I could have had you
1354
00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:50,599
drivin' your classiccar when this happened.
1355
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,819
- Who are you?
1356
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:53,202
(knocking)
1357
00:58:53,203 --> 00:58:54,345
- Knock, knock.
1358
00:58:54,346 --> 00:58:55,129
Who's there?
1359
00:58:55,179 --> 00:58:55,962
God!
1360
00:58:56,012 --> 00:58:56,869
God who?
1361
00:58:56,870 --> 00:58:58,288
(people laughing)
1362
00:58:58,289 --> 00:58:59,548
- Okay you know what?
1363
00:58:59,549 --> 00:59:00,549
Not funny!
1364
00:59:02,188 --> 00:59:03,203
It's not a joke!
1365
00:59:03,204 --> 00:59:05,404
I'm really starting to freak out here!
1366
00:59:05,405 --> 00:59:07,027
- [God] Freaking out?
1367
00:59:07,028 --> 00:59:09,707
Isn't that being illogicaland unscientific?
1368
00:59:09,708 --> 00:59:11,820
After all, if you can't seeit, feel it, or smell it,
1369
00:59:11,821 --> 00:59:14,628
then it's all just ancientsuperstition, isn't that right?
1370
00:59:14,629 --> 00:59:16,819
- How did you know I said that?
1371
00:59:16,820 --> 00:59:18,204
- [God] I've always been a know-it-all.
1372
00:59:18,205 --> 00:59:20,646
(people laughing)
1373
00:59:20,647 --> 00:59:23,564
(thunder clashing)
1374
00:59:27,123 --> 00:59:28,098
- Am I dead?
1375
00:59:28,099 --> 00:59:29,359
Or am I going crazy?
1376
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:30,166
- [God] Maybe you're dead.
1377
00:59:30,216 --> 00:59:31,049
Maybe you're crazy.
1378
00:59:31,050 --> 00:59:34,716
Maybe you're both (laughs).
1379
00:59:38,594 --> 00:59:40,217
Okay, Reverend Sam.
1380
00:59:40,218 --> 00:59:41,762
Let us reason together.
1381
00:59:41,763 --> 00:59:43,225
You want Johnny to live.
1382
00:59:43,226 --> 00:59:44,610
- Of course.
1383
00:59:44,611 --> 00:59:46,032
- [God] So do I.
1384
00:59:46,033 --> 00:59:48,390
- Well then why don't you do something?
1385
00:59:48,391 --> 00:59:50,506
- [God] Why don't you do something?
1386
00:59:50,507 --> 00:59:51,507
- I can't.
1387
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:54,455
- [God] The miracle is in your hands.
1388
00:59:54,456 --> 00:59:55,456
- My hands?
1389
00:59:56,615 --> 00:59:57,999
I can't heal anybody.
1390
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,115
- [God] How do you know you can't?
1391
01:00:00,116 --> 01:00:03,561
Maybe you're just tryingto heal the wrong person.
1392
01:00:03,562 --> 01:00:04,621
Son, you're making the same mistake
1393
01:00:04,622 --> 01:00:06,123
that everybody makes.
1394
01:00:06,124 --> 01:00:08,604
You want to take mypower to change the world
1395
01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:10,924
but you won't let my power change you.
1396
01:00:10,925 --> 01:00:12,758
- Well, what am I supposed to do?
1397
01:00:12,759 --> 01:00:14,309
- [God] Wrong question.
1398
01:00:14,310 --> 01:00:16,425
It's not what you're supposed to do.
1399
01:00:16,426 --> 01:00:18,861
It's who you're supposed to be.
1400
01:00:18,862 --> 01:00:21,340
- Alright, well, who am I supposed to be?
1401
01:00:21,341 --> 01:00:24,589
- [God] Sam, that's onequestion only you can answer.
1402
01:00:24,590 --> 01:00:26,297
Become who you're supposed to be
1403
01:00:26,298 --> 01:00:28,285
and what you're supposed to do
1404
01:00:28,286 --> 01:00:30,369
will take care of itself.
1405
01:00:31,298 --> 01:00:32,925
Well I better get you back.
1406
01:00:32,926 --> 01:00:34,759
You got a busy night ahead of you.
1407
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:35,760
- Wait!
1408
01:00:37,807 --> 01:00:39,672
Am I ever gonna meet you again?
1409
01:00:39,673 --> 01:00:41,300
- [God] Will you ever meet me?
1410
01:00:41,301 --> 01:00:43,581
Sam, you have been meeting me.
1411
01:00:43,582 --> 01:00:44,915
So keep looking!
1412
01:00:46,961 --> 01:00:49,888
(instrumental rock music)
1413
01:00:49,889 --> 01:00:50,889
- Sam, Sam!
1414
01:00:51,688 --> 01:00:52,744
Wake up, wake up!
1415
01:00:52,745 --> 01:00:53,762
- [Sister] What in the name
1416
01:00:53,763 --> 01:00:55,630
of holy creation happened to him?
1417
01:00:55,631 --> 01:00:56,514
- Ah!
1418
01:00:56,564 --> 01:00:57,564
- Ah!
1419
01:00:58,558 --> 01:01:00,003
- Hold on!
1420
01:01:00,004 --> 01:01:01,977
Give me another chance!
1421
01:01:01,978 --> 01:01:03,118
- Sam, honey!
1422
01:01:03,119 --> 01:01:04,093
- Unhand me!
1423
01:01:04,094 --> 01:01:06,576
- It's just your friend Jamal!
1424
01:01:06,577 --> 01:01:07,910
- What happened?
1425
01:01:09,617 --> 01:01:12,877
- I was working with Mr.Patterson, the maintenance man,
1426
01:01:12,878 --> 01:01:14,913
and I had the screwdriverand I was working and zap!
1427
01:01:14,914 --> 01:01:18,086
Electricity shot outand jumped all over me!
1428
01:01:18,087 --> 01:01:20,196
- Oh honey, there is no electricity.
1429
01:01:20,197 --> 01:01:22,515
The electricity been out all evening
1430
01:01:22,516 --> 01:01:24,917
and there's no Mr. Patterson either.
1431
01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:27,520
- Oh no, no, he washere and we were working
1432
01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:28,460
and I was blind!
1433
01:01:28,461 --> 01:01:29,723
Couldn't see a thing!
1434
01:01:29,724 --> 01:01:32,485
And then there was thunderand there was lightning!
1435
01:01:32,486 --> 01:01:33,579
- Well did the lightninghit you upside the head
1436
01:01:33,580 --> 01:01:34,795
'cause you look crazy, man!
1437
01:01:34,796 --> 01:01:37,310
- We need some lights in here.
1438
01:01:37,311 --> 01:01:39,337
- Jamal, help me up.
1439
01:01:39,338 --> 01:01:41,448
I'm sorry, I thought you were Satan.
1440
01:01:41,449 --> 01:01:43,239
Hey Jamal, listen.
1441
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,276
- Look man, you are out of your mind!
1442
01:01:45,277 --> 01:01:46,657
- Stop it!
1443
01:01:46,658 --> 01:01:47,676
Something's out there.
1444
01:01:47,677 --> 01:01:48,813
- What?
1445
01:01:48,814 --> 01:01:50,974
What's out there?
1446
01:01:50,975 --> 01:01:53,373
Oh the cops, they out there, oh!
1447
01:01:53,374 --> 01:01:55,448
Oh Rusty, Rusty, Rusty's out there!
1448
01:01:55,449 --> 01:01:56,949
- Well he's out there but that'snot what I'm talking about.
1449
01:01:56,950 --> 01:01:57,733
- Oh those cops they got Frankie!
1450
01:01:57,783 --> 01:01:58,616
The cops that got Frankie?
1451
01:01:58,617 --> 01:01:59,640
- No, no, no, no!
1452
01:01:59,641 --> 01:02:01,715
It's not out there, out there.
1453
01:02:01,716 --> 01:02:02,692
Out there, up there!
1454
01:02:02,693 --> 01:02:04,152
- What?
1455
01:02:04,153 --> 01:02:04,936
- The whole God thing, man.
1456
01:02:04,986 --> 01:02:05,863
It's real!
1457
01:02:05,864 --> 01:02:07,003
All that God stuff that we've been trying
1458
01:02:07,004 --> 01:02:08,060
to fake our wake our way through?
1459
01:02:08,061 --> 01:02:08,894
It's real!
1460
01:02:08,895 --> 01:02:10,054
- I know that's real!
1461
01:02:10,055 --> 01:02:12,173
God is real, brother.
1462
01:02:12,174 --> 01:02:13,390
I believe in God!
1463
01:02:13,391 --> 01:02:14,286
You don't believe in God!
1464
01:02:14,287 --> 01:02:15,508
- I do now!
1465
01:02:15,509 --> 01:02:16,292
- What?
1466
01:02:16,342 --> 01:02:17,175
- Ha!
1467
01:02:17,176 --> 01:02:19,213
I found the real thing tonight, Jamal!
1468
01:02:19,214 --> 01:02:20,470
Or it found me or something, man,
1469
01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:22,379
but all I know is Ifinally feel like I know
1470
01:02:22,380 --> 01:02:25,069
what I'm supposed to doand who I'm supposed to be!
1471
01:02:25,070 --> 01:02:26,903
- Oh man would you pleasehook a brother up, man,
1472
01:02:26,904 --> 01:02:29,941
'cause you got me so daggone confused!
1473
01:02:29,942 --> 01:02:31,260
- Okay, follow this.
1474
01:02:31,261 --> 01:02:32,997
Rusty and Beverly havebeen using us as decoys.
1475
01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:34,375
They've been stealingmoney from this church
1476
01:02:34,376 --> 01:02:35,836
and they're gonna tear the thing down.
1477
01:02:35,837 --> 01:02:36,670
- What?
1478
01:02:36,671 --> 01:02:38,034
- So they can build like this
1479
01:02:38,035 --> 01:02:40,155
jumbo mega mall sports church thing!
1480
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:40,989
- What?
1481
01:02:40,990 --> 01:02:42,678
- And you and me and Frankie,we're gonna stop 'em.
1482
01:02:42,679 --> 01:02:45,969
- And me and you and Frankie,me, you, and Frankie?
1483
01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:47,110
Where is Frankie, man?
1484
01:02:47,111 --> 01:02:48,655
We don't even know whereFrankie is anymore!
1485
01:02:48,656 --> 01:02:49,960
- We're gonna find him too!
1486
01:02:49,961 --> 01:02:51,221
Because Rusty's got him.
1487
01:02:51,222 --> 01:02:52,005
I know it!
1488
01:02:52,055 --> 01:02:52,838
- Rusty?
1489
01:02:52,888 --> 01:02:53,721
- Rusty's after us, man.
1490
01:02:53,722 --> 01:02:55,805
We gotta figure out a way to get to Rusty.
1491
01:02:55,806 --> 01:02:57,309
What we need is a plan.
1492
01:02:57,310 --> 01:02:58,569
- We get a plan!
1493
01:02:58,570 --> 01:02:59,403
- We get a plan.
1494
01:02:59,404 --> 01:03:00,441
That's what we gotta do.
1495
01:03:00,442 --> 01:03:01,496
Let's think.
1496
01:03:01,497 --> 01:03:03,940
- Let's think, let's think.
1497
01:03:03,941 --> 01:03:08,608
- Hey, y'all talking aboutno good Rusty Pickens?
1498
01:03:08,609 --> 01:03:10,232
- Every man's got a weakness.
1499
01:03:10,233 --> 01:03:12,879
- Well I know what his weakness is.
1500
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:14,321
As long as I've known him
1501
01:03:14,322 --> 01:03:18,155
his weakness has beenpretty girls and skirts.
1502
01:03:19,208 --> 01:03:20,041
- Well that makes me
1503
01:03:20,042 --> 01:03:22,291
(drum hit)
1504
01:03:30,651 --> 01:03:31,913
- What's wrong?
1505
01:03:31,914 --> 01:03:32,697
- I'm listening.
1506
01:03:32,747 --> 01:03:33,530
- What's he doing?
1507
01:03:33,580 --> 01:03:34,580
- Finish!
1508
01:03:36,833 --> 01:03:38,500
Alright, I'll do it.
1509
01:03:39,727 --> 01:03:41,275
I'm not gonna like it.
1510
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:42,526
But I'll do it.
1511
01:03:45,429 --> 01:03:47,012
- Whatcha gonna do?
1512
01:03:50,188 --> 01:03:53,071
- I believe God just gave us a plan.
1513
01:03:53,072 --> 01:03:56,822
(instrumental country music)
1514
01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:10,052
What a rustic establishment.
1515
01:04:12,927 --> 01:04:14,434
- We're closed.
1516
01:04:14,435 --> 01:04:16,555
- Ah, fiddlesticks.
1517
01:04:16,556 --> 01:04:17,413
- Hello, ladies.
1518
01:04:17,414 --> 01:04:19,000
What can we do for you?
1519
01:04:19,001 --> 01:04:20,221
Come on in.
1520
01:04:20,222 --> 01:04:22,010
- Don't mind if we do.
1521
01:04:22,011 --> 01:04:24,147
Excuse me young man.
1522
01:04:24,148 --> 01:04:27,608
Well I would love a tall glass of water.
1523
01:04:27,609 --> 01:04:29,234
- What about you, little lady?
1524
01:04:29,235 --> 01:04:32,195
- Oh let me get a little chocolate milk.
1525
01:04:32,196 --> 01:04:33,335
- Milk?
1526
01:04:33,336 --> 01:04:35,977
- Yeah, make it dirty, baby.
1527
01:04:35,978 --> 01:04:37,520
- Oh, tough girl, huh?
1528
01:04:37,521 --> 01:04:39,264
I like that.
1529
01:04:39,265 --> 01:04:40,809
I was about to close up here.
1530
01:04:40,810 --> 01:04:41,665
- Oh.
1531
01:04:41,666 --> 01:04:42,757
- How would you girls like to stick around
1532
01:04:42,758 --> 01:04:44,258
for a little private party?
1533
01:04:44,259 --> 01:04:45,060
(slaps Sam)
1534
01:04:45,110 --> 01:04:46,110
- Oh!
1535
01:04:49,869 --> 01:04:50,960
That was rude.
1536
01:04:50,961 --> 01:04:52,044
- Heard that.
1537
01:04:53,644 --> 01:04:56,446
Can't believe you got me into this.
1538
01:04:56,447 --> 01:04:58,518
- This was his idea, remember?
1539
01:04:58,519 --> 01:05:00,303
- You want us to stick around with you?
1540
01:05:00,304 --> 01:05:03,101
- Oh no, you boys lock up and go on home.
1541
01:05:03,102 --> 01:05:04,440
- Well would it have killedyou to shave the beard?
1542
01:05:04,441 --> 01:05:06,103
- Yes!
1543
01:05:06,104 --> 01:05:10,722
- I can take care of theselittle ladies by myself.
1544
01:05:10,723 --> 01:05:11,723
- Okay.
1545
01:05:14,418 --> 01:05:15,800
- Come on, ladies.
1546
01:05:15,801 --> 01:05:18,517
Let's get this party started.
1547
01:05:18,518 --> 01:05:21,159
- Well who put a nickel in you?
1548
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,659
Come on brown sugar!
1549
01:05:22,660 --> 01:05:24,165
- I like the sound of that.
1550
01:05:24,166 --> 01:05:25,166
Woo hoo!
1551
01:05:26,801 --> 01:05:30,134
- You don't mind if I set my purse down.
1552
01:05:33,217 --> 01:05:35,050
- He's out shaking it.
1553
01:05:38,936 --> 01:05:41,936
(upbeat rock music)
1554
01:06:29,733 --> 01:06:33,235
- [Rusty] Ooh ee, I can'twait to see what comes next.
1555
01:06:33,236 --> 01:06:34,938
- Oh it's a surprise.
1556
01:06:34,939 --> 01:06:36,893
- [Rusty] Oh I love surprises.
1557
01:06:36,894 --> 01:06:38,032
- Really?
1558
01:06:38,033 --> 01:06:40,880
Well what do you thinkabout this surprise?
1559
01:06:40,881 --> 01:06:41,664
Boom.
1560
01:06:41,714 --> 01:06:42,547
- Bam!
1561
01:06:42,548 --> 01:06:44,214
How you like us now?
1562
01:06:45,274 --> 01:06:48,037
(all laughing)
1563
01:06:48,038 --> 01:06:50,357
- Oh gentlemen, I knewit was you all along.
1564
01:06:50,358 --> 01:06:51,358
- Oh yeah.
1565
01:06:52,558 --> 01:06:55,931
- That's a very funny jokeand you can untie me now.
1566
01:06:55,932 --> 01:06:58,975
- Oh no, after what you did to Frankie?
1567
01:06:58,976 --> 01:07:01,866
You about to see what thefive fingers said to the face!
1568
01:07:01,867 --> 01:07:03,615
- That's not necessary!
1569
01:07:03,616 --> 01:07:05,365
I didn't mean any harm.
1570
01:07:05,366 --> 01:07:08,504
I just asked Officer Marrowto detain him a little bit.
1571
01:07:08,505 --> 01:07:09,309
- Detain him?
1572
01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:10,192
- [Jamal] Detain him?
1573
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:12,578
- So our little Frankie is rotting away
1574
01:07:12,579 --> 01:07:17,094
right now as we speak insome miserable jail cell?
1575
01:07:17,095 --> 01:07:18,678
- You got any twos?
1576
01:07:20,183 --> 01:07:21,183
- Any twos?
1577
01:07:22,910 --> 01:07:24,077
Nope, go fish!
1578
01:07:25,756 --> 01:07:27,948
- You better not be messin' with him!
1579
01:07:27,949 --> 01:07:31,808
- I just need to make onephone call to get him released!
1580
01:07:31,809 --> 01:07:32,809
- Hmm.
1581
01:07:34,207 --> 01:07:36,242
- My phone is in my pocket.
1582
01:07:36,243 --> 01:07:39,173
- Get that phone, Sam, get the phone.
1583
01:07:39,174 --> 01:07:40,884
- This better be real.
1584
01:07:40,885 --> 01:07:43,042
- Now punch one.
1585
01:07:43,043 --> 01:07:43,888
- I punched it.
1586
01:07:43,938 --> 01:07:44,832
- That's good.
1587
01:07:44,833 --> 01:07:47,332
(phone rings)
1588
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,375
- Yeah.
1589
01:07:53,376 --> 01:07:56,043
- Please hold for Rusty Pickens.
1590
01:07:56,953 --> 01:07:59,147
- Hello Officer Marrow.
1591
01:07:59,148 --> 01:08:02,525
Listen, would you releasethat little pipsqueak.
1592
01:08:02,526 --> 01:08:03,383
- Free?
1593
01:08:03,384 --> 01:08:07,199
- I said release him, yes,and send him this way.
1594
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:08,089
- Alright.
1595
01:08:08,090 --> 01:08:10,006
Whatever you say, boss.
1596
01:08:13,043 --> 01:08:17,971
- Well partner, looks likethis is your lucky day.
1597
01:08:17,972 --> 01:08:20,691
- These are hard to open with these nails
1598
01:08:20,692 --> 01:08:22,274
and I'm not sure purple's the right color.
1599
01:08:22,275 --> 01:08:23,108
- No?
1600
01:08:23,109 --> 01:08:26,224
- Because now in hindsight,lime green purple,
1601
01:08:26,225 --> 01:08:28,630
I think it might havesent the wrong signal.
1602
01:08:28,631 --> 01:08:29,414
Hey Frankie!
1603
01:08:29,464 --> 01:08:30,247
- Hey Frankie!
1604
01:08:30,297 --> 01:08:31,080
- There he is!
1605
01:08:31,130 --> 01:08:31,913
- [Jamal] Frankie baby!
1606
01:08:31,963 --> 01:08:32,746
- Sam?
1607
01:08:32,796 --> 01:08:33,579
Jamal?
1608
01:08:33,629 --> 01:08:34,412
You would not believewhere I've just been.
1609
01:08:34,462 --> 01:08:35,295
- Man, we know man.
1610
01:08:35,296 --> 01:08:36,770
We made the call to get you out.
1611
01:08:36,771 --> 01:08:38,965
- Why you guys wearing dresses?
1612
01:08:38,966 --> 01:08:40,913
Why is he tied to a chair?
1613
01:08:40,914 --> 01:08:43,478
Why do I all of a sudden feelincredibly uncomfortable?
1614
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,042
- All very solid questions
1615
01:08:46,043 --> 01:08:47,827
that I can't answer right now.
1616
01:08:47,828 --> 01:08:49,456
Frankie, we're on a tight schedule.
1617
01:08:49,457 --> 01:08:51,165
We are men on a mission.
1618
01:08:51,166 --> 01:08:52,792
We spent our entire lives on the take.
1619
01:08:52,793 --> 01:08:56,090
Right now we gotta dosomething for somebody else.
1620
01:08:56,091 --> 01:08:58,001
- Sam, we've been overthis 100 times, man!
1621
01:08:58,002 --> 01:08:59,343
How are we gonna do thatwhen the church's money's
1622
01:08:59,344 --> 01:09:01,372
probably still locked up in the bank?
1623
01:09:01,373 --> 01:09:02,635
- I have no idea what youtwo birds are going on about
1624
01:09:02,636 --> 01:09:04,918
but we do know Hugo whoworks over at the bank.
1625
01:09:04,919 --> 01:09:06,622
- Good thinkin', Frankie.
1626
01:09:06,623 --> 01:09:08,532
- And the bank opens in a few hours.
1627
01:09:08,533 --> 01:09:09,591
Gentlemen,
1628
01:09:09,592 --> 01:09:10,375
- Right.
1629
01:09:10,425 --> 01:09:11,383
- It's illogical,
1630
01:09:11,384 --> 01:09:13,547
it's unscientific, but it might just be
1631
01:09:13,548 --> 01:09:15,215
the miracle we need.
1632
01:09:17,734 --> 01:09:18,872
- There he is!
1633
01:09:18,873 --> 01:09:20,095
He's right there.
1634
01:09:20,096 --> 01:09:22,336
- Mr. Hugo, we were wondering if we
1635
01:09:22,337 --> 01:09:24,164
could take a moment of your time.
1636
01:09:24,165 --> 01:09:25,708
- Take my time?
1637
01:09:25,709 --> 01:09:27,092
- You got to help, you got to help
1638
01:09:27,093 --> 01:09:28,761
'cause they'll tear downthe cathedral, the church,
1639
01:09:28,762 --> 01:09:29,689
and they wanna put a mall there.
1640
01:09:29,739 --> 01:09:30,572
Stores...
1641
01:09:30,573 --> 01:09:32,257
- What are you talking about, you nitwit?
1642
01:09:32,258 --> 01:09:34,943
- Listen, what Frankie meansis that Rusty and Beverly
1643
01:09:34,944 --> 01:09:36,570
have been stealing fromthe church for years
1644
01:09:36,571 --> 01:09:39,908
and we're pretty sure themoney's right here in this bank.
1645
01:09:39,909 --> 01:09:42,960
- We gotta get the moneyoutta here before they do!
1646
01:09:42,961 --> 01:09:43,974
Can you help us?
1647
01:09:43,975 --> 01:09:45,517
- Can I help?
1648
01:09:45,518 --> 01:09:46,351
What do you think I do?
1649
01:09:46,352 --> 01:09:49,588
Stand here all day and hopethat my Depends hold out?
1650
01:09:49,589 --> 01:09:50,589
Follow me.
1651
01:09:58,827 --> 01:10:00,776
You say old Beverly's been stealing money
1652
01:10:00,777 --> 01:10:02,806
and stashing it away, hey?
1653
01:10:02,807 --> 01:10:04,151
- [All] Mmm hmm.
1654
01:10:04,152 --> 01:10:05,383
- [Hugo] There she is alright.
1655
01:10:05,384 --> 01:10:06,533
- I knew it.
1656
01:10:06,534 --> 01:10:07,606
- Except for one problem.
1657
01:10:07,607 --> 01:10:08,704
- [Jamal] What's that?
1658
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:09,904
- There ain't no money in there.
1659
01:10:09,905 --> 01:10:10,738
- What?
1660
01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:11,860
There has to be.
1661
01:10:11,861 --> 01:10:12,958
- There was some money.
1662
01:10:12,959 --> 01:10:14,178
A lot of money.
1663
01:10:14,179 --> 01:10:16,456
But it seems like old Beverly
1664
01:10:16,457 --> 01:10:18,899
took out every penny yesterday.
1665
01:10:18,900 --> 01:10:19,733
- What?
1666
01:10:19,734 --> 01:10:20,735
You mean to tell me shedone robbed a church,
1667
01:10:20,736 --> 01:10:22,927
now she gonna rob old Mr. Pickens too?
1668
01:10:22,928 --> 01:10:25,685
- That coot is gonna goballistic when he hears this
1669
01:10:25,686 --> 01:10:28,103
and I can't wait to tell him!
1670
01:10:30,036 --> 01:10:33,945
- Sorry, Lord, I'm not really a bad man.
1671
01:10:33,946 --> 01:10:35,576
My mother never loved me.
1672
01:10:35,577 --> 01:10:38,057
My father wore a tutu and founded
1673
01:10:38,058 --> 01:10:41,891
The Pickens' PirouetteInstitute Exotic Dance.
1674
01:10:42,778 --> 01:10:44,280
It's not my fault!
1675
01:10:44,281 --> 01:10:45,172
- Hey Rusty.
1676
01:10:45,173 --> 01:10:46,637
- What, what?
1677
01:10:46,638 --> 01:10:47,531
- We just got back from the bank
1678
01:10:47,532 --> 01:10:48,711
and Beverly swindled you and ran off
1679
01:10:48,712 --> 01:10:50,751
with all your money.
1680
01:10:50,752 --> 01:10:51,604
- Aww.
1681
01:10:51,654 --> 01:10:52,542
- Get my phone!
1682
01:10:52,592 --> 01:10:53,375
- What's the magic word?
1683
01:10:53,425 --> 01:10:54,425
- Please!
1684
01:10:56,207 --> 01:10:57,207
Punch one.
1685
01:10:57,912 --> 01:10:59,212
Put it in my ear.
1686
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,046
- [Sam] Right.
1687
01:11:00,047 --> 01:11:02,584
- Officer Marrow, Beverly just ran off
1688
01:11:02,585 --> 01:11:03,930
with all the money.
1689
01:11:03,931 --> 01:11:05,108
Find her!
1690
01:11:05,109 --> 01:11:06,738
Now hang it up.
1691
01:11:06,739 --> 01:11:07,592
- What's the magic word?
1692
01:11:07,593 --> 01:11:09,093
- Please!
1693
01:11:09,094 --> 01:11:10,556
Now we gotta get you guys in court
1694
01:11:10,557 --> 01:11:12,628
and we gotta get Beverly behind bars
1695
01:11:12,629 --> 01:11:14,496
for a long, long, time.
1696
01:11:14,497 --> 01:11:15,280
- Court.
1697
01:11:15,330 --> 01:11:16,222
- Court.
1698
01:11:16,223 --> 01:11:17,698
Guys, we got a date with the judge.
1699
01:11:17,699 --> 01:11:21,366
- Wait a sec, what arewe gonna do with him?
1700
01:11:22,744 --> 01:11:26,244
(instrumental rock music)
1701
01:11:33,891 --> 01:11:34,947
- Oh Lord, please.
1702
01:11:34,948 --> 01:11:38,115
Nobody told me the circus was in town.
1703
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:41,616
Order!
1704
01:11:41,617 --> 01:11:43,201
Order in the court!
1705
01:11:43,202 --> 01:11:44,744
What is happening here?
1706
01:11:44,745 --> 01:11:45,962
Excuse me.
1707
01:11:45,963 --> 01:11:48,159
Does somebody have anexplanation for this?
1708
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:50,686
(all shouting)
1709
01:11:50,687 --> 01:11:51,520
Order!
1710
01:11:51,521 --> 01:11:52,603
I said order.
1711
01:11:55,869 --> 01:11:59,811
Now, how were you threeinvolved in all of this?
1712
01:11:59,812 --> 01:12:03,345
- Yes, well, Your Honor,my compatriots and I
1713
01:12:03,346 --> 01:12:06,482
are victims of inexplicable circumstances.
1714
01:12:06,483 --> 01:12:08,317
With all good intentions, we were drawn
1715
01:12:08,318 --> 01:12:11,487
into a web of preposterous irregularities.
1716
01:12:11,488 --> 01:12:12,488
- Uh huh.
1717
01:12:13,404 --> 01:12:16,006
- [Officer] I got her everybody!
1718
01:12:16,007 --> 01:12:17,007
- Oh please.
1719
01:12:18,122 --> 01:12:20,726
- I got her and I got your money!
1720
01:12:20,727 --> 01:12:21,825
- What kind of a world?
1721
01:12:21,826 --> 01:12:26,263
There are days I think thatI'm just losing control.
1722
01:12:26,264 --> 01:12:27,047
- She stole the money!
1723
01:12:27,097 --> 01:12:27,930
- Bad Beverly!
1724
01:12:27,931 --> 01:12:31,229
- She's the one that's got the money.
1725
01:12:31,230 --> 01:12:33,671
(all shouting)
1726
01:12:33,672 --> 01:12:35,755
- Settle, please, settle!
1727
01:12:40,860 --> 01:12:43,014
- [Hugo] I got something I wanna say.
1728
01:12:43,015 --> 01:12:45,007
- The Court recognizes Hugo.
1729
01:12:45,008 --> 01:12:46,307
How you doing, dad?
1730
01:12:46,308 --> 01:12:47,113
Go ahead.
1731
01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:47,996
- That's your dad?
1732
01:12:47,997 --> 01:12:50,663
- Hey, it's a small town.
1733
01:12:50,664 --> 01:12:54,402
Now these three, I would call them dumb
1734
01:12:54,403 --> 01:12:55,825
except that would be an insult
1735
01:12:55,826 --> 01:12:58,875
to the rest of all you dumb people here.
1736
01:12:58,876 --> 01:13:01,151
But they did ask me to help them.
1737
01:13:01,152 --> 01:13:04,402
Now we foiled the plot of evil Beverly.
1738
01:13:06,847 --> 01:13:08,847
Sam, Jamal, and Frankie,
1739
01:13:12,333 --> 01:13:14,833
thank you for believing in me.
1740
01:13:15,791 --> 01:13:17,124
I love you guys.
1741
01:13:21,862 --> 01:13:24,262
- Boys, you done good.
1742
01:13:24,263 --> 01:13:25,360
Case dismissed.
1743
01:13:25,361 --> 01:13:26,543
(gavel pounds)
1744
01:13:26,544 --> 01:13:27,544
- Oh Sam!
1745
01:13:30,210 --> 01:13:33,540
- As for Miss Beverly,would you lock her up, dad,
1746
01:13:33,541 --> 01:13:36,917
until the hearing tomorrow at 10 o'clock?
1747
01:13:36,918 --> 01:13:37,918
- Okay, son.
1748
01:13:44,807 --> 01:13:48,465
- And now we get to Mr. Rusty Pickens.
1749
01:13:48,466 --> 01:13:51,383
Mr. Pickens, you have stolen, lied,
1750
01:13:53,757 --> 01:13:57,924
deceived, have you gotanything to say for yourself?
1751
01:13:59,646 --> 01:14:01,878
(Rusty murmurs)
1752
01:14:01,879 --> 01:14:03,345
Ah, beg your pardon?
1753
01:14:03,346 --> 01:14:04,346
- Oh.
1754
01:14:12,336 --> 01:14:15,919
- Your Honor, lastnight in my darkest hour
1755
01:14:20,919 --> 01:14:21,919
I was saved!
1756
01:14:26,046 --> 01:14:30,244
I came to my senses andrealized my evil ways
1757
01:14:30,245 --> 01:14:34,313
and repented of while Iwas tied to this chair
1758
01:14:34,314 --> 01:14:35,314
as I am now,
1759
01:14:37,521 --> 01:14:38,521
I saw
1760
01:14:40,943 --> 01:14:41,943
the light!
1761
01:14:44,325 --> 01:14:46,929
- A bright, shiny light?
1762
01:14:46,930 --> 01:14:48,596
- Yeah, yeah, that's it.
1763
01:14:48,597 --> 01:14:50,430
A bright, shiny light.
1764
01:14:51,847 --> 01:14:53,097
- Let me guess.
1765
01:14:54,043 --> 01:14:55,992
It knocked you to the ground?
1766
01:14:55,993 --> 01:14:57,055
- Yeah, yeah.
1767
01:14:57,056 --> 01:14:59,619
It knocked me to the ground.
1768
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:01,781
- Lord, Lord, come help us now
1769
01:15:01,782 --> 01:15:04,865
because it's starting all over again.
1770
01:15:07,107 --> 01:15:10,107
(upbeat rock music)
1771
01:15:18,833 --> 01:15:20,984
(knocks on door)
1772
01:15:20,985 --> 01:15:22,769
- I really don't think you should be here.
1773
01:15:22,770 --> 01:15:23,828
- I know.
1774
01:15:23,829 --> 01:15:25,746
I just need one minute.
1775
01:15:27,246 --> 01:15:29,496
Okay, how about 30 seconds?
1776
01:15:30,822 --> 01:15:31,822
- It's okay.
1777
01:15:35,502 --> 01:15:36,806
- Johnny looks good.
1778
01:15:36,807 --> 01:15:37,984
How's he doing?
1779
01:15:37,985 --> 01:15:40,652
- Much better, no thanks to you.
1780
01:15:41,893 --> 01:15:46,368
- Yeah, Tiffany, look, Iowe you a big apology, okay?
1781
01:15:46,369 --> 01:15:47,786
A really big one.
1782
01:15:49,018 --> 01:15:51,745
I lied to you and I hurt you
1783
01:15:51,746 --> 01:15:53,903
but I didn't do it on purpose.
1784
01:15:53,904 --> 01:15:56,055
Well, okay, obviously Ilied to you on purpose.
1785
01:15:56,056 --> 01:16:00,610
But the hurting you part,that I didn't see coming.
1786
01:16:00,611 --> 01:16:03,083
I've done a lot of dumb things in my day
1787
01:16:03,084 --> 01:16:06,863
and I never cared who Istepped on in the process.
1788
01:16:06,864 --> 01:16:10,722
But I also never met anybody like you.
1789
01:16:10,723 --> 01:16:14,133
- Am I supposed to be flattered by that?
1790
01:16:14,134 --> 01:16:16,369
I can see right through you, Sam,
1791
01:16:16,370 --> 01:16:19,003
and all this is just a big game to you.
1792
01:16:19,004 --> 01:16:21,196
Apparently, I'm the prize.
1793
01:16:21,197 --> 01:16:22,447
So, guess what?
1794
01:16:23,587 --> 01:16:24,587
You lose.
1795
01:16:25,780 --> 01:16:28,499
Why don't you just getyour friends and leave.
1796
01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:29,750
- Yeah I would.
1797
01:16:31,874 --> 01:16:33,459
But I don't think I can.
1798
01:16:33,460 --> 01:16:34,460
- Why?
1799
01:16:36,673 --> 01:16:39,590
- I think I'm supposed to stay here
1800
01:16:40,618 --> 01:16:42,451
and believe it or not,
1801
01:16:43,346 --> 01:16:45,819
I even think I'm supposed tobe the pastor of this church.
1802
01:16:45,820 --> 01:16:48,020
- Yeah, that would be an odd career choice
1803
01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:51,513
for somebody who doesn'teven believe in God.
1804
01:16:51,514 --> 01:16:53,016
- Actually now I do.
1805
01:16:53,017 --> 01:16:54,766
- Oh just like that.
1806
01:16:54,767 --> 01:16:57,939
- Yeah, I know, kinda crazy right?
1807
01:16:57,940 --> 01:17:00,940
But the big guy's pretty convincing.
1808
01:17:03,966 --> 01:17:06,930
- Well, I'm happy for you, Sam.
1809
01:17:06,931 --> 01:17:08,357
But what makes you think that this church
1810
01:17:08,358 --> 01:17:10,604
is gonna want you?
1811
01:17:10,605 --> 01:17:12,600
You didn't just lie to me.
1812
01:17:12,601 --> 01:17:14,684
You lied to a whole town.
1813
01:17:18,588 --> 01:17:21,432
- I guess I got a lot ofpeople to apologize to.
1814
01:17:21,433 --> 01:17:23,913
Do you have a phone book?
1815
01:17:23,914 --> 01:17:28,553
- Sam, my family needs meand I'm not gonna do this.
1816
01:17:28,554 --> 01:17:31,971
- Tiffany, I don't expect you to do this.
1817
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:36,935
I don't expect you to let me back in.
1818
01:17:36,936 --> 01:17:40,917
I just hope you won'tcompletely shut me out.
1819
01:17:40,918 --> 01:17:42,621
- I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.
1820
01:17:42,622 --> 01:17:44,818
- I'm gonna come with you, dad.
1821
01:17:44,819 --> 01:17:47,236
Your 30 seconds is over, Sam.
1822
01:17:53,855 --> 01:17:55,846
- See ya in church?
1823
01:17:55,847 --> 01:17:59,347
(slow instrumental music)
1824
01:18:15,132 --> 01:18:16,632
Here goes nothing.
1825
01:18:20,748 --> 01:18:23,581
(slow rock music)
1826
01:18:49,523 --> 01:18:50,606
Good morning.
1827
01:18:52,088 --> 01:18:53,921
As you probably heard,
1828
01:18:55,868 --> 01:18:57,861
or at least figured out,
1829
01:18:57,862 --> 01:19:00,362
we're not who we said we were.
1830
01:19:02,994 --> 01:19:05,592
We didn't really come hereto work for your church.
1831
01:19:05,593 --> 01:19:07,059
We were working to stay out of jail
1832
01:19:07,060 --> 01:19:09,256
and make some easy cash.
1833
01:19:09,257 --> 01:19:11,532
Which quite frankly, wewere more than happy to do
1834
01:19:11,533 --> 01:19:13,080
because we figured all of you
1835
01:19:13,081 --> 01:19:15,564
would end up being a bunch of judgmental,
1836
01:19:15,565 --> 01:19:19,232
hypocritical, self-centeredreligious kooks.
1837
01:19:21,383 --> 01:19:23,211
You know what?
1838
01:19:23,212 --> 01:19:24,545
You kind of are.
1839
01:19:28,945 --> 01:19:31,028
But we're not any better.
1840
01:19:32,403 --> 01:19:34,653
What we did was really low.
1841
01:19:36,595 --> 01:19:40,762
We should probably be packingup and driving out of here.
1842
01:19:43,753 --> 01:19:45,663
Frankie, Jamal,
1843
01:19:45,664 --> 01:19:49,246
you're the only family I've ever had.
1844
01:19:49,247 --> 01:19:52,747
(slow instrumental music)
1845
01:19:56,410 --> 01:19:57,410
Until now.
1846
01:20:00,398 --> 01:20:02,565
This town and this church,
1847
01:20:05,973 --> 01:20:08,473
is starting to feel like home.
1848
01:20:13,145 --> 01:20:14,312
We wanna stay.
1849
01:20:20,870 --> 01:20:23,287
Whether or not you'll let us,
1850
01:20:27,055 --> 01:20:29,972
well I guess that's just up to you.
1851
01:20:42,107 --> 01:20:44,879
- Well now you all know I'vebeen coming to this church
1852
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,463
since I was a baby.
1853
01:20:48,096 --> 01:20:50,013
And I can spot a phony.
1854
01:20:51,271 --> 01:20:55,104
And I've seen them comeand I've seen them go.
1855
01:20:56,193 --> 01:21:00,360
But these three are thebiggest phonies I've ever seen.
1856
01:21:02,382 --> 01:21:05,108
Oh, I knew they weren't preachers
1857
01:21:05,109 --> 01:21:09,875
but I also knew that Godcould take a old pair of shoes
1858
01:21:09,876 --> 01:21:13,497
and with a little polish and spit shine
1859
01:21:13,498 --> 01:21:17,165
have those things lookinglike they was new!
1860
01:21:18,100 --> 01:21:21,017
I know they helped steal our money.
1861
01:21:23,597 --> 01:21:24,764
They did that.
1862
01:21:26,082 --> 01:21:27,832
But they got it back.
1863
01:21:33,084 --> 01:21:36,334
I think we oughta keep these old shoes.
1864
01:21:38,218 --> 01:21:40,894
They just might turnout to be the best thing
1865
01:21:40,895 --> 01:21:42,969
to happen in this church.
1866
01:21:42,970 --> 01:21:45,720
(all applauding)
1867
01:21:46,919 --> 01:21:48,014
(fast gospel music)
1868
01:21:48,015 --> 01:21:49,015
- Church!
1869
01:21:50,705 --> 01:21:52,738
♫ Without faith
1870
01:21:52,739 --> 01:21:54,652
♫ It's impossible to please him
1871
01:21:54,653 --> 01:21:56,569
♫ Without faith
1872
01:21:56,570 --> 01:21:58,522
♫ So impossible to reach him
1873
01:21:58,523 --> 01:22:00,350
♫ Without faith
1874
01:22:00,351 --> 01:22:03,111
♫ You'll never know how much you need him
1875
01:22:03,112 --> 01:22:06,610
♫ Everyone who comes toGod must believe his is
1876
01:22:06,611 --> 01:22:08,847
♫ Without faith
1877
01:22:08,848 --> 01:22:10,794
♫ It's impossible to please him
1878
01:22:10,795 --> 01:22:12,786
♫ Without faith
1879
01:22:12,787 --> 01:22:14,737
♫ So impossible to reach him
1880
01:22:14,738 --> 01:22:16,528
♫ Without faith
1881
01:22:16,529 --> 01:22:19,209
♫ You'll never know how much you need him
1882
01:22:19,210 --> 01:22:22,537
♫ Everyone who comes toGod must believe he is
1883
01:22:22,538 --> 01:22:25,288
♫ And he rewards
1884
01:22:27,296 --> 01:22:28,758
♫ Faith
1885
01:22:28,759 --> 01:22:31,509
(all applauding)
1886
01:22:36,484 --> 01:22:37,622
- You know, I think you and I
1887
01:22:37,623 --> 01:22:39,820
can make some great music together.
1888
01:22:39,821 --> 01:22:42,059
- You can't sing!
1889
01:22:42,060 --> 01:22:46,227
(laughs) That's okay baby,I do like your style.
1890
01:22:47,108 --> 01:22:49,441
Hallelujah, praise the Lord.
1891
01:22:53,776 --> 01:22:55,974
- So what do you think?
1892
01:22:55,975 --> 01:22:59,187
Maybe one of these days you'll let me
1893
01:22:59,188 --> 01:23:02,118
take you for a ride inmy classy convertible?
1894
01:23:02,119 --> 01:23:06,286
Show the new and improvedme the hotspots around town?
1895
01:23:07,410 --> 01:23:08,410
- Maybe.
1896
01:23:09,483 --> 01:23:10,650
- Good enough.
1897
01:23:15,792 --> 01:23:17,579
- Hey what did you expect?
1898
01:23:17,580 --> 01:23:20,184
You knew it was gonna have a happy ending.
1899
01:23:20,185 --> 01:23:21,812
You moron.
1900
01:23:21,813 --> 01:23:25,230
(energetic gospel music)
1901
01:24:02,656 --> 01:24:05,906
(energetic rock music)
1902
01:24:10,926 --> 01:24:14,058
- There were a plethora ofunfortunate circumstances
1903
01:24:14,059 --> 01:24:17,235
that betwicked us - that betwicked us?
1904
01:24:17,236 --> 01:24:19,903
We got twicked and we're tworry.
1905
01:24:22,403 --> 01:24:25,903
(instrumental rock music)
1906
01:24:40,305 --> 01:24:42,138
- Sam, don't we go in?
1907
01:24:42,989 --> 01:24:45,223
- I think so but Jamal stopped!
1908
01:24:45,224 --> 01:24:47,641
- I don't know what happened.
1909
01:24:52,701 --> 01:24:56,445
- To have three men of Godhere such as yourselves.
1910
01:24:56,446 --> 01:24:58,196
I'm Sister Elizabeth.
1911
01:24:59,779 --> 01:25:00,612
- [Sam] You are?
1912
01:25:00,613 --> 01:25:02,586
We're in the wrong room.
1913
01:25:02,587 --> 01:25:04,331
(all laughing)
1914
01:25:04,332 --> 01:25:05,836
I'm on the wrong set.
1915
01:25:05,837 --> 01:25:07,626
- I don't know who that is.
1916
01:25:07,627 --> 01:25:08,802
- Him preach?
1917
01:25:08,803 --> 01:25:09,738
Him?
1918
01:25:09,739 --> 01:25:10,755
This white guy?
1919
01:25:10,756 --> 01:25:11,732
Him preach?
1920
01:25:11,733 --> 01:25:14,498
(laughing)
1921
01:25:14,499 --> 01:25:18,149
If he makes it through thesermon it'd be a miracle.
1922
01:25:18,150 --> 01:25:19,150
- Amen.
1923
01:25:19,896 --> 01:25:21,724
If you can make it throughthat line, it'd be a miracle.
1924
01:25:21,725 --> 01:25:23,268
- Him preach?
1925
01:25:23,269 --> 01:25:25,436
(singing)
1926
01:25:34,953 --> 01:25:35,953
- Hello?
1927
01:25:36,946 --> 01:25:39,142
Sorry God, I'm in the middle of a thing
1928
01:25:39,143 --> 01:25:40,605
can I get back to you?
1929
01:25:40,606 --> 01:25:43,286
Eager to eat the birds of the air
1930
01:25:43,287 --> 01:25:46,130
and the beasts of the field.
1931
01:25:46,131 --> 01:25:50,298
Which leads me to ask what'swrong with horse meat?
1932
01:25:51,585 --> 01:25:54,308
They live in the field.
1933
01:25:54,309 --> 01:25:57,037
Because they're prettier than cattle?
1934
01:25:57,038 --> 01:26:00,903
I suppose that's why onlyaliens take our fat women.
1935
01:26:00,904 --> 01:26:01,904
For probing.
1936
01:26:03,095 --> 01:26:06,262
But what I can say with some sincerity
1937
01:26:09,193 --> 01:26:11,598
I apologize for them, Lord.
1938
01:26:11,599 --> 01:26:13,953
They know not what they do.
1939
01:26:13,954 --> 01:26:16,287
- Oh, you about to find out!
1940
01:26:18,998 --> 01:26:19,998
What?
1941
01:26:21,439 --> 01:26:22,574
What?
1942
01:26:22,575 --> 01:26:26,075
(instrumental rock music)
1943
01:26:29,949 --> 01:26:31,989
- [Sam] Yeah, we should wait.
1944
01:26:31,990 --> 01:26:32,990
Cut.
1945
01:26:37,406 --> 01:26:39,073
I don't hear it now.
1946
01:26:40,621 --> 01:26:41,918
Good, we're good?
1947
01:26:41,919 --> 01:26:43,017
- [Director] Quiet please.
1948
01:26:43,018 --> 01:26:44,518
- [Sam] Oh, sorry.
1949
01:26:45,828 --> 01:26:46,661
- Sam!
1950
01:26:46,662 --> 01:26:48,547
We've been through this 100 times!
1951
01:26:48,548 --> 01:26:50,090
Sam, we've been through this 100 times!
1952
01:26:50,091 --> 01:26:51,312
How we gonna do that, man?
1953
01:26:51,313 --> 01:26:52,900
We know that the money is probably still
1954
01:26:52,901 --> 01:26:54,448
locked up in the bank.
1955
01:26:54,449 --> 01:26:55,282
Sam!
1956
01:26:55,283 --> 01:26:56,808
We've been through this 100 times!
1957
01:26:56,809 --> 01:26:57,809
We know!
1958
01:26:58,844 --> 01:27:00,553
Sam, we've been through this 100 times!
1959
01:27:00,554 --> 01:27:02,018
We know that the church's money
1960
01:27:02,019 --> 01:27:04,215
is probably still locked up in the bank.
1961
01:27:04,216 --> 01:27:07,309
Sam, we've been through this 100 times!
1962
01:27:07,310 --> 01:27:08,486
We know that the church's money
1963
01:27:08,487 --> 01:27:10,759
is probably still locked up in the bank.
1964
01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:11,760
Sam!
1965
01:27:14,695 --> 01:27:16,198
We've been through this 100 times!
1966
01:27:16,199 --> 01:27:17,335
(laughs)
1967
01:27:17,336 --> 01:27:18,639
- Yes we have!
1968
01:27:18,640 --> 01:27:22,431
We have been through this 100 times.
1969
01:27:22,432 --> 01:27:26,251
Frankie, Jamal, let's get asmall apartment in the city
1970
01:27:26,252 --> 01:27:27,636
and start our own family.
1971
01:27:27,637 --> 01:27:28,695
Are we good?
1972
01:27:28,696 --> 01:27:30,113
- [Director] Cut.
1973
01:27:31,338 --> 01:27:34,661
- I like you (coughs).
1974
01:27:34,662 --> 01:27:37,998
Sorry I had a cigaretteon my way over here.
1975
01:27:37,999 --> 01:27:38,999
Nerves.
1976
01:27:39,947 --> 01:27:42,864
(Tiffany laughing)
1977
01:27:46,736 --> 01:27:49,569
(Jamal screaming)
1978
01:27:53,238 --> 01:27:54,238
- Excuse me.
1979
01:27:57,680 --> 01:27:59,597
- [Sam] Don't leave me!
1980
01:28:01,632 --> 01:28:04,299
(both laughing)
1981
01:28:10,206 --> 01:28:13,706
(instrumental rock music)
1982
01:28:23,629 --> 01:28:24,712
- [Sam] Cut.
134847
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