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1
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Good morning, Alex.
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What's so good about it?
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This morning, my mom made
me butterfly-shaped waffles.
4
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I mean, it's the crack of dawn,
stop being adorable.
5
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I made those. Your mom is right.
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We should just give you dry toast.
7
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Is Max talking to a girl?
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I say three seconds before she
yells "gross" and runs away.
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She's not running away.
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Let's see if we can't figure
out what's wrong with her.
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I know it's here someplace.
12
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This morning, I took it
from my bag of dead things.
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Give me a second.
14
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Here it is! All right, my lizard.
15
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Well, most of him. His tail
turned to crumbs in my pocket.
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Oh, wait, is this cookie crumbs?
17
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No, that's lizard.
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- Here you go.
- Aww.
19
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You know what they say,
"If you love something let it go,
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if it doesn't come back it was
never yours in the first place."
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But, Tom, it's dead.
22
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Max? Hey!
23
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Did you just give this girl
your most prized possession?
24
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You let her have your dead lizard?
25
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But you got all worked up
26
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when I wanted to turn it into a barrette.
27
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- Tom, who are these people?
- I have no idea, Nancy.
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And for your information, total strangers,
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we're going to some place in the school
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where we actually know people.
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Tom, you're so funny.
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I know, right? Isn't Tom a riot?
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Look, Nancy, it's been a
pleasure meeting both of you,
34
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,058
but, um, I need to talk to
my new friend Tom alone.
35
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,527
OK. I'm going to wood
shop to make a shadow box
36
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- to display my dead lizard.
- OK.
37
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Aw, that's how it all started with me.
38
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Shadow boxes are a gateway craft.
39
00:02:19,836 --> 00:02:21,703
Guess what, Tom?
40
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You've been caught in
some kind of lie and I,
41
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being the Queen of All Lies,
need to know what it is.
42
00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:29,241
Well...
43
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Nancy has been my girlfriend for a while.
44
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Oh, my gosh, you have a girlfriend! -
45
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Max, you have a girlfriend.
46
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Wait, wait. OK. OK. OK, I'm sorry.
47
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
48
00:02:38,516 --> 00:02:42,018
What's wrong with her?
Booger eater? Bathroom snacker?
49
00:02:42,052 --> 00:02:44,854
Snort laugher? What is it?
50
00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:48,056
All that. That's what makes her great.
She's super gross.
51
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Aww. - Aww, you're gonna
be together forever.
52
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Do me a favor, though.
Don't tell Mom and Dad.
53
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I'm afraid they're gonna do something
54
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really embarrassing and scare her away.
55
00:02:57,063 --> 00:03:00,631
Max, I appreciate you wanting
to lie about having our parents,
56
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but changing your first name
isn't going to fool anyone.
57
00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:05,902
Oh, no, I know. But I changed
my last name, too, to Sawyer.
58
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,036
-
59
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- This kid.
- Tom Sawyer?
60
00:03:10,072 --> 00:03:12,439
- Yeah.
- That's such an obvious lie.
61
00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:15,508
It's the name from the Rush song.
62
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And the classic book.
63
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Wow, that song was good,
I didn't know they made a book out of it.
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65
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68
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76
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Sync by YesCool WwW.Addic7ed.com
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Justin! Justin! Guess what? Guess what?
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Max has a girlfriend. -
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Girlfriend! It is so cute.
81
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The whole relationship is based on a lie.
82
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I've taught him so well.
83
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What are you talking about?
84
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Max told his new girlfriend, Nancy,
that his name was Tom Sawyer
85
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so that he wouldn't be
embarrassed by your folks.
86
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Maybe he should have gone with
a name a little less obvious,
87
00:04:49,424 --> 00:04:50,757
like Scooby-Doo.
88
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,828
This lie could easily unravel.
89
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,565
Alex, huge problem. My lie is falling apart.
90
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,469
- Sorry.
- Wait, what?
91
00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:07,905
Yeah, Nancy wants to come
over to meet Mom and Dad now.
92
00:05:11,943 --> 00:05:14,077
OK, not a problem. Not a problem.
93
00:05:14,111 --> 00:05:15,512
This is, um...
94
00:05:15,546 --> 00:05:17,413
This is the exciting part of lying.
95
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,382
It's when we get to use our imagination
96
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to make the lie even more spectacular.
97
00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:24,786
I know. I just wish there was a
way Nancy could meet Mom and Dad
98
00:05:24,821 --> 00:05:27,489
without actually meeting Mom and Dad.
99
00:05:27,523 --> 00:05:29,057
Oh, OK.
100
00:05:29,091 --> 00:05:32,260
Justin and I can use a spell to
make each other look ancient.
101
00:05:32,294 --> 00:05:34,228
You know, like how Mom and Dad look.
102
00:05:36,064 --> 00:05:37,564
Why should I do that?
103
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Because your parents are
a little embarrassing.
104
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:42,034
All my girlfriends have met my parents.
105
00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:43,169
It's been fine.
106
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That's because anyone who dates you
107
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is even more embarrassing than Mom and Dad.
108
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Oh! -
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Oh.
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Wait for me, will ya?
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00:05:55,514 --> 00:05:57,515
I can't believe you
talked me into this again.
112
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Oh, it's going to be the best
Civil War reenactment ever.
113
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- -
- This year,
114
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I get to be the first
casualty of the battle.
115
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I get to lay around all
day eating trail mix.
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00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:12,061
Jerry, putting one peanut
in a bag of chocolates
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doesn't make a trail mix.
118
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OK, we need to be the
same age as Mom and Dad.
119
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Ah-ha! Perfect! Middle age spell.
120
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But Mama says she's years
away from middle age.
121
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She also says people mistake
her for your sister.
122
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Her words mean nothing.
123
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All right, well, let's do it.
124
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Make us old and barely alive,
age us up to 35.
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Wow. Nice spare tire.
126
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Nice frosting job to hide the grays.
127
00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:50,757
Well, I am clever.
128
00:06:53,394 --> 00:06:55,394
Whoa, nice gut, Justin.
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00:06:55,429 --> 00:06:58,097
Looks like I dodged a bullet with you.
130
00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:01,667
Just more to love.
131
00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:05,003
Look. Check out my bingo wings.
132
00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:08,539
- Bingo!
- Ew.
133
00:07:08,574 --> 00:07:11,008
All right, look,
I decided to help you guys out
134
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by pretending to be an old family friend.
135
00:07:12,911 --> 00:07:15,412
I'm not good at lying,
so I wrote myself some cue cards.
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Name a topic.
137
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- Horses.
- Ah.
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Weather... bagels... animals.
139
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Come on animals.
140
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I got nothing.
141
00:07:28,389 --> 00:07:30,090
They're coming. Check it out.
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I'm hunched over like an old man,
143
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because of my big gut. -
144
00:07:33,361 --> 00:07:36,029
Hey, wait. Check out this
laugh that turns into a cough.
145
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Are you OK?
146
00:07:40,866 --> 00:07:42,866
- I'm good.
- Oh.
147
00:07:45,436 --> 00:07:48,137
- Oh, honey, we have company. - Ah!
148
00:07:48,171 --> 00:07:50,072
- Hey.
- Hello, son.
149
00:07:50,107 --> 00:07:54,009
- I love you, Daddy.
- Who am I?
150
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- He's my daddy.
- Yeah.
151
00:07:58,046 --> 00:08:00,614
You must be Nancy. Pleasure to meet you.
152
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- I'm Mr. Sawyer. You...
- Aye.
153
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,550
This is my wife over here, Diane.
154
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,519
Ah, Diane Sawyer, nice to meet you.
155
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,621
I'm a lot older than I look.
156
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If you happen to say
something funny, you'll see.
157
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:14,624
It's nice to meet you.
158
00:08:14,658 --> 00:08:18,361
- -
- Oh, sweetie. Oh, no.
159
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Hello. You guys aren't talking
about horses, are you?
160
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:22,831
Well...
161
00:08:22,865 --> 00:08:24,999
Didn't I meet you in school the other day?
162
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You did meet her in school the other day
because she's our daughter's friend.
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Our daughter's only friend, just to clarify.
164
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You know, you definitely
chose the right son, Nancy,
165
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because our other son is
so uptight and boring...
166
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,382
And his sister doesn't stick
to plans and takes cheap shots.
167
00:08:46,416 --> 00:08:48,818
We are here trying to talk
in front of these people...
168
00:08:48,852 --> 00:08:53,555
But, we are here to talk
about our son, Tom Sawyer.
169
00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:56,224
Just the other day, Nancy, let me tell you,
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he whitewashed the entire picket fence.
171
00:08:58,226 --> 00:08:59,660
- Isn't that right, honey?
- Yes, he did.
172
00:08:59,694 --> 00:09:00,961
- Yes, he did.
- That he did.
173
00:09:00,995 --> 00:09:02,930
- What does "whitewash" mean?
- I don't know.
174
00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:04,765
It was never mentioned in the song.
175
00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:09,836
It took me hours to get
dressed up like this,
176
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,871
and in 20 minutes you get us kicked out.
177
00:09:11,905 --> 00:09:14,773
I'm sorry, the flyer
said no flash photography
178
00:09:14,807 --> 00:09:17,641
or tube socks. Nobody said
that I couldn't dip fries
179
00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:19,876
in my ketchup blood when I was dead.
180
00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:22,946
Wait! What's going on here?
181
00:09:24,615 --> 00:09:26,950
Hi, I'm Nancy Lueke. Tom's girlfriend.
182
00:09:28,185 --> 00:09:30,084
OK, Nancy, these are my parents' friends.
183
00:09:30,118 --> 00:09:32,586
We probably don't want to stick
around this old people party
184
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,654
'cause they're probably
going to do something old,
185
00:09:34,688 --> 00:09:36,856
like, you know, call on an old telephone.
186
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,125
Let's go. Come on, this way.
187
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,893
- This way.
- Wait a minute.
188
00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:44,262
Why is that girl calling Max "Tom",
189
00:09:44,297 --> 00:09:49,133
while you two look like you
did some spell to look 35?
190
00:09:50,202 --> 00:09:51,635
We did a middle-age spell.
191
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:54,604
Thirty-five is not middle-aged!
192
00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:57,907
What's going on here?
193
00:09:59,509 --> 00:10:03,144
OK, Mom. I'm not gonna lie to you.
194
00:10:03,178 --> 00:10:05,178
Um...
195
00:10:05,212 --> 00:10:08,514
Justinnd I are on our way to
an old people reenactment.
196
00:10:08,548 --> 00:10:09,916
And I'm pretty excited about it
197
00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,786
because Justin gets to have a heart attack.
198
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,955
That is not the truth.
199
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,958
OK, this is the gonna hurt you guys but,
200
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:19,193
we're pretending to be
you because Max thought
201
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:21,962
that you would embarrass him
in front of his new girlfriend.
202
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,031
- Us?
- Us?
203
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,133
I was just being myself.
204
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,502
For example, if you asked
me about something random,
205
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:31,203
like, I don't know, horses,
206
00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,838
I would say something along the lines of:
207
00:10:32,872 --> 00:10:36,707
Did you know a horse's
head weighs 11.84 pounds,
208
00:10:36,742 --> 00:10:39,443
but his heart only weighs ten?
209
00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:41,145
Yeah.
210
00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:45,783
I'm not good at this.
211
00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:55,260
Max, is it true? Are you embarrassed by us?
212
00:10:55,294 --> 00:10:58,129
But we're the young, cool parents.
213
00:10:58,163 --> 00:11:00,430
I mean, who else would dress like this?
214
00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:02,399
Kids love the Civil War.
215
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:07,202
Um, look, Mom, Dad, I didn't do this
216
00:11:07,236 --> 00:11:08,870
'cause I was embarrassed by you guys.
217
00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:13,007
- You didn't?
- No, I...
218
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:15,042
I did this because I
didn't want Nancy to know
219
00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:16,810
I'm Justin's and Alex's brother.
220
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,545
Oh!
221
00:11:20,115 --> 00:11:21,682
What?!
222
00:11:21,716 --> 00:11:25,118
Everywhere I go, people expect
me to be as devious as you are
223
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,853
or as smart as you are.
224
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:30,288
I just wanted somebody who
doesn't compare me to anybody.
225
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:34,525
Because I have a feeling I'll only be
good when I'm not compared to anybody.
226
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,161
Aw, Maxie, I understand.
227
00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:40,463
It's hard being the youngest of three.
228
00:11:40,497 --> 00:11:43,765
I can't believe he's getting
all of your sympathy.
229
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,367
He's the one that was lying.
230
00:11:45,401 --> 00:11:47,802
I don't get your sympathy when I lie.
231
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,838
I'm no expert, but that's
probably why I keep doing it.
232
00:11:52,173 --> 00:11:54,774
Maxie, telling the truth is the only way
233
00:11:54,809 --> 00:11:56,343
to have a real relationship.
234
00:11:56,377 --> 00:11:57,911
If you're gonna have a girlfriend,
235
00:11:57,945 --> 00:11:59,745
you have to show her who you really are.
236
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:03,082
If you come clean,
I think she'll like you more.
237
00:12:04,284 --> 00:12:07,052
All right. All right, I'll do it.
238
00:12:09,122 --> 00:12:11,057
Yeah, good lucwith that.
239
00:12:11,091 --> 00:12:13,058
The truth is only good for two things:
240
00:12:13,093 --> 00:12:16,027
getting grounded and getting
someone else grounded.
241
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:19,163
- Speaking of grounded...
- Um...
242
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,397
You know if you weren't
gonna say anything, I was.
243
00:12:21,432 --> 00:12:23,132
What are we gonna do with her? -
244
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,434
Hey?
245
00:12:24,468 --> 00:12:26,469
Mr. Sawyer, nice to meet you.
246
00:12:33,845 --> 00:12:37,213
Oh, man, being old is hard.
247
00:12:37,248 --> 00:12:38,815
Let me tell you, when I get old,
248
00:12:38,849 --> 00:12:42,017
I'm just gonna sit around
and read magazines.
249
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,352
That's what you do anyway.
250
00:12:44,621 --> 00:12:46,988
I'm practicing for later.
251
00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:52,759
I did it. I told Nancy the truth.
252
00:12:52,794 --> 00:12:54,561
We are very proud of you, Max.
253
00:12:54,595 --> 00:12:57,196
Aw, isn't it easier
telling the truth, honey?
254
00:12:57,231 --> 00:12:58,297
It really is.
255
00:12:58,332 --> 00:13:00,933
I am so relieved I told her I'm a wizard.
256
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:03,235
-
257
00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:05,337
You what?!
258
00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:12,899
Max, when I told you to
tell the truth to Nancy,
259
00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:15,067
I meant to tell her the
truth about being a Russo
260
00:13:15,102 --> 00:13:16,502
not about being a wizard!
261
00:13:16,536 --> 00:13:19,337
You wanted me to tell the
truth but not the whole truth?
262
00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:23,074
This truth thing is confusing,
Mom, to tell you the truth.
263
00:13:24,743 --> 00:13:26,977
Yeah, I mean, you tell the truth,
you get in trouble.
264
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,645
You lie, you get in trouble.
265
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,248
We're probably just better off
not talking to each other.
266
00:13:31,282 --> 00:13:33,950
What did Nancy say when you told her?
267
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,518
She didn't really believe me.
268
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:36,753
- Ah.
- Phew.
269
00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:38,154
- Thank goodness.
- Whew.
270
00:13:38,188 --> 00:13:40,255
Max, you really need to work on how
271
00:13:40,289 --> 00:13:42,223
you give out information
when you tell a story.
272
00:13:42,257 --> 00:13:44,191
I mean, if I had a ketchup bottle in my hand
273
00:13:44,226 --> 00:13:46,360
when you said you told her,
I would've squeezed it
274
00:13:46,395 --> 00:13:49,131
and ketchup would've been everywhere.
275
00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:52,467
Harper, please hand me the ketchup?
276
00:13:52,501 --> 00:13:53,835
Oh.
277
00:13:53,869 --> 00:13:56,471
But then I took her on a
magic flying carpet ride
278
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:57,872
and she totally believed me.
279
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:04,745
Man, it was so much fun,
we even got hit with bird poop.
280
00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:06,246
You did what?
281
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,281
We got hit with bird poop.
282
00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,417
Nancy Lueke has seen magic!
283
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,286
I'm gonna file a wizard incident report.
284
00:14:13,321 --> 00:14:14,487
And if you don't fix this,
285
00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:16,422
I'm gonna sign it and I'm gonna send it.
286
00:14:16,457 --> 00:14:18,625
We cannot be wizards exposed!
287
00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:23,963
Max, what if this Nancy Lueke sells
her story to the magazines, huh?
288
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,931
We'll be hounded by paparazzi.
289
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:29,401
We won't be able to go anywhere without
somebody wanting to take our picture.
290
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,369
Wait a minute.
291
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,438
You guys are worrying way too much.
292
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:35,939
Nancy promised she wouldn't say anything.
293
00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:38,208
Trust me. She's dying to tell someone.
294
00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:40,476
The only reason I haven't told
anyone is because I live here
295
00:14:40,511 --> 00:14:42,011
and I don't want to get kicked out.
296
00:14:42,045 --> 00:14:44,713
Well, there you go. We have
Nancy move in. Problem solved.
297
00:14:46,214 --> 00:14:49,616
Nancy's parents are not as cool as mine
298
00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:50,951
to let her live here.
299
00:14:50,985 --> 00:14:52,585
Don't say anything.
300
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,453
The only reason this situation makes sense
301
00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:57,656
is because I tell myself
my parents are cool.
302
00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:01,759
All right, all we have
to do is convince Nancy
303
00:15:01,794 --> 00:15:03,361
we're not wizards.
304
00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:06,330
I can't believe I'm about to say this,
305
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:10,000
but we need to come up
with a really big lie.
306
00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:15,138
Uh-uh. Don't look at me.
307
00:15:15,172 --> 00:15:16,639
I'm starting to think that lying
308
00:15:16,673 --> 00:15:18,374
isn't the best thing in the world.
309
00:15:18,408 --> 00:15:22,210
Oh, you do not clean up
your act now, young lady.
310
00:15:22,244 --> 00:15:25,312
Harper, would you hand me an eclair, please?
311
00:15:25,346 --> 00:15:27,180
Well, Nancy's gonna be here in an hour
312
00:15:27,214 --> 00:15:28,881
for another magic flying carpet ride.
313
00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:31,350
- Did I forget to mention that?
- An hour?!
314
00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:34,852
We're in the face of an emergency
315
00:15:34,887 --> 00:15:37,154
and you're kicking back reading a magazine?
316
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:41,194
Flipping through a magazine
is how I come up with my lies.
317
00:15:44,397 --> 00:15:46,564
- I've got it.
- You do?
318
00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:48,899
I know how Jennifer can get Brad back.
319
00:15:48,934 --> 00:15:50,200
Wow.
320
00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:52,169
She has nothing.
321
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:55,472
Justin, you got anything?
322
00:15:55,506 --> 00:15:57,441
I've got it. But I'm gonna need a blender,
323
00:15:57,475 --> 00:15:59,209
a box spring and your ten speed bike.
324
00:15:59,244 --> 00:16:02,145
OK, but I'm gonna need a half
an hour to make a smoothie,
325
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:05,815
take a nap and... find that bike.
326
00:16:16,492 --> 00:16:19,093
Mom, what's Justin doing back there?
327
00:16:19,127 --> 00:16:21,427
I really like this girl.
This is why I didn't want her
328
00:16:21,462 --> 00:16:23,062
to know I was related to any of you.
329
00:16:23,096 --> 00:16:25,898
It's making sense to all of us now, son.
330
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,237
- I've got a plan.
- Oh, good,
331
00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:32,505
because Nancy Lueke's
gonna be here any minute
332
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,074
and I don't know how that chaos
outside is going to help us.
333
00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:38,678
There's only one thing we should do.
334
00:16:38,712 --> 00:16:40,146
We have to stick to the truth
335
00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:42,582
and accept the consequences of our actions.
336
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:46,118
It is so sad to see you this way.
337
00:16:47,855 --> 00:16:49,488
She's here.
338
00:16:49,523 --> 00:16:51,557
Jerry, what are we gonna do?
339
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:55,127
I don't know. I'm still a
little groggy from my nap.
340
00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:10,577
- Hey, wizard boyfriend.
- Hi, Nancy, come here for a minute.
341
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,613
Look, I know you came for
your magic flying carpet ride,
342
00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:16,049
but there's something I gotta tell you.
343
00:17:17,651 --> 00:17:22,687
- I'm really not a wizard.
- Of course you're a wizard.
344
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:24,622
You told me how your brother and sister
345
00:17:24,657 --> 00:17:26,858
used magic to make themselves look old.
346
00:17:26,892 --> 00:17:30,828
And how you have a wizard lair, there's a
wizard world and a wizard competition.
347
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:33,930
Is there anything you didn't tell her?
348
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,065
Yeah, I didn't tell her
about the dragon dog,
349
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,301
'cause I still have no
idea what happened to that.
350
00:17:39,336 --> 00:17:44,006
Nancy Lueke, come on out.
Everything's all set.
351
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,574
Just right through here.
352
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:49,475
- OK.
- Look!
353
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:52,010
It's the magic flying
carpet Max took me on...
354
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:54,745
Mm-hmm. -...attached
to a bunch of garbage.
355
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:57,414
This is very exciting, yes,
it is a carpet, all right.
356
00:17:57,449 --> 00:17:58,882
But it's not magical, no.
357
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:04,152
It moves because it has a
motor and gears and springs.
358
00:18:04,186 --> 00:18:08,690
- We're not a family of wizards.
- No.
359
00:18:08,724 --> 00:18:12,725
We are a passionate, amateur
special effects enthusiasts family.
360
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,060
Yes. Yes, that is what we are.
361
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,996
We are ama... special, what?
362
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,164
I always thought this
family would be brought down
363
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:22,166
by some strange creature
from another dimension,
364
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,200
not by a little girl from...
365
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:26,202
- Where are you from, sweetie?
- Riverdale.
366
00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:27,603
There you go. Rich kid.
367
00:18:27,637 --> 00:18:28,704
Hmm.
368
00:18:28,738 --> 00:18:31,439
OK, hop on our non-magic flying carpet.
369
00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:32,974
Very non-magical.
370
00:18:33,008 --> 00:18:37,078
Right here. OK, you guys ready
for quote unquote "take-off?"
371
00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:38,212
As they would say.
372
00:18:38,246 --> 00:18:40,747
-
373
00:18:42,216 --> 00:18:43,583
-
374
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,920
Mom, Dad, the screen.
375
00:18:50,623 --> 00:18:54,458
Were you flying over New
York City, like this?
376
00:18:59,463 --> 00:19:01,163
Nice try but I know the difference
377
00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:03,532
between bulls and New York.
378
00:19:03,566 --> 00:19:07,802
Wrong button. Like I said,
amateur special effects enthusiasts.
379
00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:12,640
Whoa! It looks like we're flying.
380
00:19:12,674 --> 00:19:14,308
OK, I'll give you that.
381
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:17,044
But I'm not stupid.
It was windy when we were flying.
382
00:19:17,078 --> 00:19:20,213
Yes, it was windy. Perhaps like this?
383
00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:26,184
Yes, yes, that's the wind.
384
00:19:26,218 --> 00:19:27,919
But we got hit by bird poop.
385
00:19:27,953 --> 00:19:30,054
I don't see any bird poop here.
386
00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:32,656
Bird poop. Bird poop.
I forgot the bird poop.
387
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,392
Catch.
388
00:19:37,794 --> 00:19:40,095
Jerry, don't eat it. Squeeze it.
389
00:19:40,129 --> 00:19:41,362
Oh.
390
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:50,237
Oh, my gosh! This is like
the ride you took me on.
391
00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:53,572
This tastes nothing like bird poop.
392
00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:06,717
You really are passionate amateur
special effects enthusiasts.
393
00:20:06,752 --> 00:20:08,219
Yes! That's what we are.
394
00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:09,854
Special... that.
395
00:20:11,623 --> 00:20:14,191
I've never met a family where
everyone had the same hobby.
396
00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:16,794
That's because we are very close.
397
00:20:16,828 --> 00:20:18,929
- A close knit family.
- Uh-huh.
398
00:20:18,964 --> 00:20:21,498
I mean, come on, let's just hug it out.
Come on, hug it out.
399
00:20:27,071 --> 00:20:28,772
- Mm-mm.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
400
00:20:30,174 --> 00:20:32,575
Is this really the way you guys hug?
401
00:20:32,610 --> 00:20:35,245
You are a sad, sad bunch.
402
00:20:36,881 --> 00:20:40,050
- Who's got my wallet?
- Sorry.
403
00:20:42,386 --> 00:20:44,855
All right, so Nancy, now that we've got
this whole carpet thing cleared up,
404
00:20:44,889 --> 00:20:46,957
what do you say we go play
cards in the wizards' lair?
405
00:20:46,991 --> 00:20:49,759
We don't have a wizards' lair, no.
406
00:20:51,995 --> 00:20:54,563
I'm breaking up with you, Max.
407
00:20:54,598 --> 00:20:56,665
What? Why?
408
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,134
You keep lying to get me to like you.
409
00:20:59,169 --> 00:21:02,204
The only way I can get the
truth is from your family.
410
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,874
Truth? From my family?
411
00:21:08,177 --> 00:21:11,079
And I'm keeping the dead lizard.
412
00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:12,847
It deserves better than you.
413
00:21:17,286 --> 00:21:20,688
I'm sorry, Max. Phew, that was a close one.
414
00:21:20,722 --> 00:21:23,224
I was starting to think that
telling the truth was better.
415
00:21:23,258 --> 00:21:25,626
But then Justin's lie fixed everything.
416
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:29,997
Oh, come on, let's just face it.
We're a family full of liars
417
00:21:30,032 --> 00:21:32,366
who don't know how to hug. I love you guys.
418
00:21:32,401 --> 00:21:34,268
Good night. Harper, come on.
419
00:21:34,302 --> 00:21:36,304
Fine.
420
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,973
No, Justin didn't fix everything.
421
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:42,208
It's 'cause of lying, I lost the
most important thing in my life.
422
00:21:42,243 --> 00:21:46,478
Oh, Max, I know it's hard to lose
your first girlfriend, honey.
423
00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:48,982
- I'm so sorry.
- What, Nancy?
424
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:54,854
No, I'm talking about my lizard, Mom.
I'm gonna miss that crumbly little guy.
425
00:21:54,889 --> 00:21:56,689
Was gonna sprinkle him on my salad.
426
00:22:03,268 --> 00:22:04,936
Hello, Broadway.
427
00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:07,571
Yo, Brooklyn, how you doin', heh?
428
00:22:07,606 --> 00:22:11,308
Washington Heights...
429
00:22:13,044 --> 00:22:14,877
I'm a wizard!
430
00:22:14,912 --> 00:22:17,513
I'm flying all by myself!
431
00:22:19,048 --> 00:22:23,084
Oh! Well, look who wants to be a wizard now.
432
00:22:24,318 --> 00:22:25,651
Go to bed, Mom.
433
00:22:25,686 --> 00:22:28,053
Oh, Alex, I don't want
to be a wizard, please.
434
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:35,000
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