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1
00:00:02,588 --> 00:00:04,073
♪♪
2
00:00:04,107 --> 00:00:06,489
Mary: This time, just tell me
when I'm at the bottom step.
3
00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:08,422
[ Sighs ] The swelling's
almost gone.
4
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:10,907
You're fine.
5
00:00:10,941 --> 00:00:15,394
I'd love to help you guys,
but, you know, pregnant.
6
00:00:15,429 --> 00:00:18,673
We should make that phrase
a drinking game.
7
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,503
The drinking game is
how she ended up pregnant
8
00:00:20,537 --> 00:00:23,195
in the first place.
9
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:26,060
I'm having a real
"circle of life" moment here.
10
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,924
You get pregnant,
you can't support yourself,
11
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,202
you move back in
with your mom.
12
00:00:30,237 --> 00:00:31,514
We don't have
many traditions,
13
00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:34,551
but the ones we have
are magical.
14
00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:35,794
Hey, Harris,
15
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,967
I still have
Beverly Rose's
16
00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,176
old baby clothes
and crib.
17
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,177
Do you want them?
18
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,454
Mm, no, thanks.
19
00:00:40,488 --> 00:00:42,111
I'll pass
on the hand-me-downs.
20
00:00:42,145 --> 00:00:43,457
I'd rather start
with all new things
21
00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:46,356
that my kid can make their
own childhood memories with.
22
00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,634
Sorry, we really
can't afford
23
00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:51,706
for your kid
to have their own memories.
24
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,950
Beverly Rose's memories
are still perfectly good,
25
00:00:53,984 --> 00:00:57,402
and you can use those until
your child grows out of them.
26
00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:01,130
There's years of generational
trauma in those clothes.
27
00:01:01,164 --> 00:01:02,372
Come on, Harris.
28
00:01:02,407 --> 00:01:03,718
Money's really tight
right now,
29
00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,236
'cause I don't start work
for a few weeks.
30
00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:07,446
And besides, Beverly Rose's
stuff is way better
31
00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:08,447
than anything you had.
32
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:09,759
Oh, yeah.
Your bassinet?
33
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:13,728
That was one of your grandpa's
old Hickory Farms baskets.
34
00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:15,765
It worked okay,
but it was hard to hug you,
35
00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:17,456
'cause you smelled
like summer sausage.
36
00:01:19,148 --> 00:01:21,771
It's okay. I'll just buy stuff
with my own money.
37
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:24,601
Hey, look who's here!
There she is!
38
00:01:24,636 --> 00:01:26,983
I'm back.Welcome home, baby!
39
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:28,088
Yay!
40
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,434
I'll get this.
41
00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:31,125
Mm.No, no, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
42
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,678
Those are mine.Oh, sorry.
43
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:36,096
Yeah, I was just in the rhythm
of grab-and-move.
44
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,788
I almost packed up
Darlene earlier.
45
00:01:38,822 --> 00:01:40,997
Yeah, Becky bet me
five bucks
46
00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:42,585
that I couldn't fit
in a suitcase.
47
00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:44,966
And I could.Ah.
48
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:50,179
Aww, finding new things to shove
Darlene in, and I missed it.
49
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:51,801
Yeah, well,
you're home for good.
50
00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:54,769
We'll have plenty of time
for her shenanigans.
51
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:55,839
Oh, really?
52
00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:57,945
You're all done touring?Yeah.
53
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,948
Your dad and I talked,
and I'm done.
54
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:03,882
Yep. The rest of her life
will be spent with only me.
55
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,642
Mm.
56
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:08,714
Geez, Dan, you make it sound
like a life sentence.
57
00:02:08,749 --> 00:02:11,131
You've seen how I eat.
How long could it be?
58
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,273
Oh, hey, Harris.
59
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:16,722
How are you feeling?
60
00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:19,656
Uh, I'm a little uncomfortable,
but it's all good.
61
00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:21,071
I'm moving back in
with my mommy,
62
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:23,798
and she's gonna make me
mac and cheese from the box.
63
00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:26,318
So, you and Darlene
living together again --
64
00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:28,044
that's nice.
65
00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:32,635
Look, I hope everything works
out exactly the way you want
66
00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:35,810
and not the way
we all expect.
67
00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:37,743
Hey, we are
different now.
68
00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:39,089
We respect each other,
69
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:42,231
and Harris is a very
responsible person.
70
00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:44,888
When she runs off to Florida
and dumps the kid on me,
71
00:02:44,923 --> 00:02:48,547
I know she'll still
FaceTime on the weekends.
72
00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,860
What?
Like, every weekend?
73
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:57,073
Ugh, I'm the only one
doing any work around here.
74
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:59,834
♪♪
75
00:02:59,869 --> 00:03:01,215
Don't worry, Dan.
76
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,873
I get that there's been
so much going on here,
77
00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:06,703
you couldn't plan anything
special for my homecoming.
78
00:03:06,738 --> 00:03:08,602
I did plan something.
79
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,397
I just thought you were
coming home tomorrow.
80
00:03:10,431 --> 00:03:13,020
I told you I was coming home
on our anniversary.
81
00:03:13,054 --> 00:03:14,608
I assumed you meant
the anniversary
82
00:03:14,642 --> 00:03:17,611
of the day
after our wedding --
83
00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:20,234
the day it really hit me
how perfect you are.
84
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:25,135
I'll allow it.
85
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,448
Do we really have
to go out there?
86
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:30,279
Why don't we just spend
the whole day and night in bed
87
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:33,213
and lock everybody
out of our world?
88
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:37,596
Oh, I've never spent 24
consecutive hours in bed before.
89
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,253
I better not try it.
90
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:40,427
Why not?
91
00:03:40,461 --> 00:03:41,911
Well, the same reason
I don't try heroin.
92
00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:44,707
I might like it
too much.
93
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,812
Seriously, Dan,
I need this.
94
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,781
I have been gone so long,
and I missed you so much.
95
00:03:49,815 --> 00:03:50,989
Oh, I missed you,
too, baby,
96
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,543
but I really should help
with the move.
97
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:56,236
I mean, granted, we got Mary
to do most of the heavy lifting,
98
00:03:56,270 --> 00:04:00,999
but when she stands up now,
she's starting to say, "Oy!"
99
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,795
She's got plenty
of help out there.
100
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,762
And besides, I, uh --
101
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:07,419
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,
102
00:04:07,454 --> 00:04:14,633
but I think it's okay if we bend
the rules and, uh, eat in bed.
103
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:15,978
That's heroin to my ears.
104
00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:17,636
I'm in.
105
00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:20,398
Wow, I didn't even
mention sex yet.
106
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:22,607
Well, I don't know what's coming
first, the food or the sex,
107
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:26,300
but I'm gonna be on my back,
watching TV for all of it.
108
00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:34,757
♪♪
109
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:43,213
♪♪
110
00:04:43,248 --> 00:04:46,216
--Captions by VITAC--
111
00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:47,528
"The Conners" is recorded
112
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,496
in front of
a live studio audience.
113
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:52,499
Louise: Oh,
that was so good.
114
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:54,501
Dan: Oh, I haven't
finished, Louise.
115
00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:56,986
Oh, I'm sorry, Dan.
116
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,815
You're just so slow.
117
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,369
I've already had four.
118
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:02,336
[ Groans ]
119
00:05:04,511 --> 00:05:06,133
You know,
with this waterbed,
120
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,514
it's kind of like
surf and turf.
121
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:08,618
[ Laughs ]
122
00:05:08,653 --> 00:05:10,344
Fancy.
123
00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:14,348
But, really,
what's the plan after this?
124
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:17,351
Well, since we've just
finished the marathon
125
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:19,560
of the
"Jurassic Park" films,
126
00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:21,562
why don't we start
on the James Bond movies?
127
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,840
Oh, I'm sorry.
128
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:25,532
I watched them all
while you were gone,
129
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,810
except for the ones
with Roger Moore.
130
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:29,984
He's got the manners
of a good butler
131
00:05:30,019 --> 00:05:34,057
and the animal savagery
of a good butler.
132
00:05:34,092 --> 00:05:35,231
I know.
133
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:37,992
Let's watch the
"Fast and Furious" movies.
134
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:39,925
No one in those
has any manners.
135
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,858
[ Chuckles ]
136
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:44,413
Time to leave the room.
137
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:45,966
Nope.
138
00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:50,211
We're going on
two days in here.
139
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:51,592
What's up?
140
00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:55,700
A lot.
141
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:57,598
Would you care to be
more specific?
142
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,775
Fine.
[ Exhales deeply ]
143
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,777
When I was out on the road
with my mom,
144
00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:07,228
she wanted to stay out there
past the end of the tour
145
00:06:07,263 --> 00:06:10,887
because what was I in such
a hurry to get back for?
146
00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:14,339
And I said "Dan and..."
147
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:19,413
I couldn't think of anything
after the "and." [ Sighs ]
148
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:21,035
I'm just happy
I made the list.
149
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,693
And in first position,
I may add.
150
00:06:23,728 --> 00:06:26,869
You got plenty of time to figure
out what comes after the "and."
151
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:28,802
You just got back.
[ Sighs ]
152
00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:33,289
I thought about it for weeks
on the road after she said it.
153
00:06:33,323 --> 00:06:36,637
Really, Dan, I have no idea
what's out there for me
154
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:37,983
on the other side
of that door.
155
00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:41,746
Well, you're never gonna know
until you stop hiding.
156
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:42,885
No, I can't do it.
157
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:45,405
I-I-I-I don't want to.
158
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,960
[ Sighs ] I've been
a musician all my life.
159
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:50,824
Music saved me
when I was a teenager
160
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:52,135
going in a bad
direction,
161
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:56,277
and touring with a band
is all I really know.
162
00:06:56,312 --> 00:06:58,107
I've always known
where I was going,
163
00:06:58,141 --> 00:07:01,455
and now I don't.
164
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,733
I need a purpose, Dan.
165
00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:06,736
[ Mariachi band playing ]
166
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:09,981
♪♪
167
00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,742
It's the guys that used
to play at Casita Bonita.
168
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:15,193
I told you I thought you were
coming home today.
169
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,748
Mariachi Performer:
♪ Welcome home, Louise
170
00:07:18,783 --> 00:07:22,959
♪ Dan's gonna give you
171
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:26,687
♪ A squeeze
172
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,311
I wrote that.
173
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,486
Thank you, Dan.
That was so sweet.
174
00:07:32,521 --> 00:07:33,694
You know,
they're expecting us.
175
00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:35,972
We really should
go down there.
176
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:38,216
Uh, not gonna happen.Are you sure?
177
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,943
They're playing at a mattress
store opening right after this.
178
00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,842
If you want a picture,
we really should get down there.
179
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:50,987
Sorry, fellas.
She won't come out.
180
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:54,025
She doesn't
have a purpose.
181
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,475
Dan.
182
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,167
Well, I didn't want them to
think it was anything they did.
183
00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:02,033
♪♪
184
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,967
Oh, well, you're not gonna be
needing this for a while.
185
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,175
I know.
186
00:08:06,209 --> 00:08:09,523
No smoking, no drinking,
no bouncy houses,
187
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,801
and no caffeine,
which sucks.
188
00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:13,872
No caffeine?
That's a new one.
189
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:15,633
When I was pregnant,
I was so tired,
190
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,807
I, like, tripled
my caffeine.
191
00:08:17,842 --> 00:08:19,878
Maybe that's why you just
popped out and ran all the way
192
00:08:19,913 --> 00:08:22,398
down the hallway
to the nursery.
193
00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,331
No, that was because I was
looking for a nice,
194
00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:27,161
rich family
to go home with.
195
00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:30,164
So, uh, what else have you
learned about pregnancy?
196
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:32,581
Um, I did read
that there are some women
197
00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:34,823
who don't experience
any pain in labor.
198
00:08:34,859 --> 00:08:38,414
Uh, yeah.
Meth heads and liars.
199
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:39,760
The best way
I can describe it
200
00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:44,212
is it's like pulling your upper
lip over the top of your head.
201
00:08:44,246 --> 00:08:46,871
Oh, but still, like,
a beautiful experience.
202
00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:48,355
[ Laughs ]
203
00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,806
Yeah, laugh now, while you
still can without peeing.
204
00:08:52,808 --> 00:08:55,673
Am I hearing
laughter in here?
205
00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:57,295
Are you spying on us?
206
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,607
I was just
hanging nearby,
207
00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:00,781
in case you two
needed a referee.
208
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:03,473
When you guys are alone,
it turns into "Squid Games"
209
00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:05,234
pretty quickly.
210
00:09:05,268 --> 00:09:06,235
We're fine.
211
00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:07,443
Just a mother and daughter
212
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:10,550
bonding over the horrors
of childbirth.
213
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,206
It's not always horrible.
214
00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:13,725
I barely felt it.
215
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,761
That doesn't count.
216
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,625
Beverly Rose
was a preemie.
217
00:09:16,659 --> 00:09:20,801
Mark weighed more at birth
than I did when I got married.
218
00:09:20,836 --> 00:09:22,389
I could use that bong
right now.
219
00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:23,908
My stomach really hurts.
220
00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:26,738
It's like bad cramps.
221
00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,568
Did they just start?
222
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,776
No.
223
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:32,123
I mean, I felt a little
something the last few days,
224
00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,781
but not like this.
225
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:37,507
Um, well, yeah,
it's probably nothing,
226
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,786
but why don't we just take
a quick trip to the doctor,
227
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,408
just to be sure?
228
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:42,823
Okay.
229
00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:45,032
♪♪
230
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:51,245
It's been a while since
they left for the doctor.
231
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,246
Yeah, I know.
232
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:53,316
But they'll be home soon,
233
00:09:53,351 --> 00:09:54,594
and then we'll find out
what's going on.
234
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,977
So, Mark should be home
from his school trip tomorrow.
235
00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,945
And, uh, we're supposed
to have his new bedroom
236
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,153
set up by then.
237
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:04,017
He's gonna love going from
a private bedroom
238
00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:06,433
to a room that has
a table cloth for a wall.
239
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,193
Well, at least
there's a big window
240
00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:11,300
where strangers can look
in on him from the road.
241
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:16,926
I'll just take all his books
to the garage for now.
242
00:10:16,961 --> 00:10:18,031
Oy.
243
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:22,173
Hey, everything okay?
244
00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:24,658
Uh, let me get Harris
settled up in her room
245
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,315
and I'll be
right back down.
246
00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:27,523
No, we can tell her.
247
00:10:28,869 --> 00:10:30,975
Yeah, I had a miscarriage.
248
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:33,667
Oh, I'm so sorry.
249
00:10:33,702 --> 00:10:35,220
It's okay.
250
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:38,327
I mean, I wasn't
planning to have a baby
251
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,984
before I got pregnant.
252
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,883
And even though
I decided to keep it,
253
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:45,783
I guess I should be
kind of relieved, right?
254
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:49,338
You can be,
that's a normal reaction.
255
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:51,892
Hey, just, uh, don't tell
Grandpa and Louise yet.
256
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:54,481
She just got home,
they're spending time together.
257
00:10:54,515 --> 00:10:56,690
I don't want to mess that up.
258
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:58,658
Do you need anything?
259
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,590
No. It's all good.
260
00:11:00,625 --> 00:11:03,386
It's also okay
if it's not all good.
261
00:11:03,421 --> 00:11:05,699
[ Exhales ]
No, I'm -- I'm fine.
262
00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:09,496
And, hey, now I'll go back to
my regular life, right?
263
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,912
Well, look, that's a healthy way
to look at it.
264
00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:15,502
I mean, maybe this all
worked out for the best.
265
00:11:15,536 --> 00:11:17,228
Right.
Yeah, I know.
266
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,712
Of course youwould
think that.
267
00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:21,025
You didn't want me to have
the baby to begin with.
268
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:22,923
So I bet you're
reallyrelieved.
269
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,373
No, that's not at all --
270
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:26,306
I'm tired.
I'm gonna lie down.
271
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:30,966
Hey, it --
272
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:34,521
I don't know
if this helps,
273
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:37,938
but no matter how mad
Harris is at you right now,
274
00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:41,424
wait till Mark sees you
moved him into a window seat.
275
00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:48,086
No,
that doesn't help.
276
00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:51,124
That's why I said,
I don't know.
277
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:57,647
I'm gonna empty the bone bucket
and feed the chickens.
278
00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:59,270
Wanna go?
279
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:02,480
Uh, no, I-I'm good
right here.
280
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,068
How 'bout
we take a stroll
281
00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:05,759
through the living room,
see the sights.
282
00:12:05,794 --> 00:12:07,796
I hear it's lovely
this time of day.
283
00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,660
You're not listening
to me, Dan.
284
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:11,765
I can't do it.
285
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,664
I-I just can't
go out there.
286
00:12:14,699 --> 00:12:16,321
Well, maybe you're
overthinking this, honey.
287
00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:19,048
Retirement's not supposed
to be this complicated.
288
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:24,295
It's you spending time
with the one you love.
289
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,331
That's a pretty good life.
290
00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:28,092
[ Smooches ]
291
00:12:28,126 --> 00:12:30,819
Look, you know
I love being with you.
292
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:34,305
Even the little things --
counting out your pills,
293
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,652
doing mole checks.
294
00:12:36,686 --> 00:12:38,171
It's not enough.
295
00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:42,451
I don't know how to be
more that I am.
296
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:43,659
Oh, come on, Dan.
297
00:12:43,693 --> 00:12:44,660
You know what I mean.
298
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:45,903
Oh, I doknow
what you mean.
299
00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,629
You're saying very clearly
that I'm not enough for you.
300
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,286
[ Sighs ]
301
00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:53,531
[ Exhales sharply ]
302
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:56,914
It is so hard
getting out of that bed.
303
00:12:56,948 --> 00:13:00,641
You know, people our age
have tubs they can walk into
304
00:13:00,676 --> 00:13:03,713
and chairs that lift them
into a standing position.
305
00:13:03,748 --> 00:13:05,819
Why the hell
do we have a waterbed?
306
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:07,510
Because I thought
it would be fun for us,
307
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:09,927
but I guess I have no idea
about what you want.
308
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,722
Oh, so --
so now you're insulted?
309
00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:14,724
Because I just want
a little more in my life?
310
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:15,725
Yeah, I guess I am.
311
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,037
You been home
less than two days
312
00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:19,039
and you're already thinking
about what you can do
313
00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,145
besides spend time with me.
314
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:22,491
Okay. Great.
315
00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:23,837
Let's make it
about you now.
316
00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,805
No, it's very obviously
not about me.
317
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,151
You know who wants
to be with me?
318
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:28,393
My chickens.
319
00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:32,018
When I rain corn on them,
they look at me like a god.
320
00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:37,678
What are you doing?
321
00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,473
I'm going back to live
with Grandpa.
322
00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:42,200
I'll be back for the rest
of my stuff tomorrow.
323
00:13:42,235 --> 00:13:44,030
Wait, you're leaving?
324
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:46,411
Is this because I said that
your life might be better
325
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:47,654
without a baby right now?
326
00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:49,690
Because you said you could
go back to your normal life,
327
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,209
and then I was just
agreeing with you.
328
00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:53,833
[ Laughs sarcastically ]
You are so full of crap.
329
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,869
You said that because
that's how you really feel.
330
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,733
And this whole thing
makes you feel better.
331
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,321
No, that's not true,
Harris.
332
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:00,840
Come on, let's just
talk about it.
333
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,393
No, I'm done talking.
334
00:14:02,427 --> 00:14:04,533
I can't live here
looking at you every day
335
00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:07,432
knowing how happy you are
that I didn't have the baby.
336
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,640
Bye.
337
00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:11,229
[ Door slams ]
338
00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:12,541
♪♪
339
00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:17,235
♪♪
340
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,582
Hey.
Hey.
341
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:21,999
I talked to Harris.
342
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,103
Poor kid.
343
00:14:23,138 --> 00:14:25,416
That's a hell of a thing
for her to go through.
344
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,900
I know.
345
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,005
She up in her room?
346
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:29,040
Yeah.
347
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,283
I asked her if
she needed anything,
348
00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:31,905
and she just
wanted to rest.
349
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,906
Hmm.
350
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:34,459
Well, she forgot
some of her meds
351
00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:37,428
and I'm gonna make her
some mac and cheese.
352
00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:40,293
Uh, would you mind
bringing this up to her?
353
00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:41,881
What the hell happened
over at your place?
354
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,365
How come you don't want
to bring it to her?
355
00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,885
[ Sighs ]
We're a mess right now.
356
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,128
She thinks I'm happy
about what happened to her.
357
00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:49,543
And I tried to talk to her
about it,
358
00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:51,407
but I guess it just
made it worse.
359
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:53,582
[ Sighs ]
Well...
360
00:14:53,616 --> 00:14:55,790
then stop talking.
361
00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,827
She needs to be mad
at something or someone,
362
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,760
and right now,
that's you.
363
00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:02,625
So, take her her pills
and her mac and cheese
364
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:03,972
and just sit there.
365
00:15:04,973 --> 00:15:05,939
You really think
that'll help?
366
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,907
Yes, I do.
367
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,495
Can I bring my phone
so I've got something to do?
368
00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,810
You might be surprised
at what she has to say
369
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:18,124
if you just
stop talking.
370
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,919
Alright, I'll try.
371
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:23,612
Hey, wait, what are you doing
in the garage?
372
00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,510
I got a really gross text
from Louise
373
00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:28,410
saying you guys were gonna spend
the next couple days in bed.
374
00:15:28,444 --> 00:15:31,965
I blocked her in case
she was gonna send pictures.
375
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,966
You wanna know
the truth?
376
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,451
I don't follow
my own advice.
377
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:38,282
I was talking when
I should have been listening.
378
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:41,630
Well, I don't know what you did,
but go in there and undo it
379
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:42,631
'cause we need Louise.
380
00:15:42,665 --> 00:15:44,115
She's the only of us
that's strong enough
381
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,359
to pull you
out of a bathtub.
382
00:15:46,393 --> 00:15:47,360
I know.
383
00:15:47,394 --> 00:15:48,361
That's why I'm out here
384
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:51,329
trying to figure out
how to undo it.
385
00:15:51,364 --> 00:15:53,435
I made it about me.
386
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:55,816
And a little bit
about the chickens.
387
00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:58,302
That's how you know
you've lost an argument,
388
00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,373
when you start talking
about chickens.
389
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:03,100
♪♪
390
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:04,722
[ Tires screeching ]
391
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:05,792
[ Crash ]
392
00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:06,827
How come I get a ticket
393
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,312
every time I roll
through a stop sign,
394
00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:10,314
but this guy can fly
over a school bus,
395
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:13,558
and there's not a cop
around anywhere?
396
00:16:13,593 --> 00:16:15,008
You don't get it.
397
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,941
This time it's personal.
398
00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:24,638
Uh, I've been thinking,
and -- and you're right.
399
00:16:24,673 --> 00:16:26,399
It's not about me.
400
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:30,713
I know women hate it when
men try to come up with fixes,
401
00:16:30,748 --> 00:16:34,786
so here's 33 fixes, because I'm
an incredibly slow learner.
402
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:40,827
"Potential purposes
for Louise's new life."
403
00:16:40,861 --> 00:16:43,864
Oh, Dan,
this is really sweet.
404
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:46,143
But how does learning
to pole dance
405
00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:49,042
help me to feel fulfilled?
406
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:50,078
Well, that'll keep you busy
407
00:16:50,112 --> 00:16:52,839
when you're not
craft-brewing beer.
408
00:16:52,873 --> 00:16:54,427
Re-- Keep reading.
409
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:57,050
Uh,
"Lingerie model/pie maker."
410
00:16:57,085 --> 00:17:00,778
Well, uh,
just skip that one.
411
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,608
Oh, now -- now,
these show some promise.
412
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:07,854
"Writing jingles for local
businesses, teaching guitar,
413
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:10,098
playing a piano near
the fountain at the mall."
414
00:17:10,132 --> 00:17:11,167
Yeah, I could wear
something tight
415
00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:15,103
and lay across the piano.
416
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:16,621
You know,
it's interesting.
417
00:17:16,656 --> 00:17:19,589
I-I have thought
about teaching,
418
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:23,282
but never
at a halfway house.
419
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:24,733
Maybe music could make
a difference
420
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,769
in someone else's life.
421
00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:28,116
Yeah, just writing
that one down
422
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:30,290
made me feel
like a better person.
423
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:32,879
So I did good, huh?
424
00:17:32,913 --> 00:17:35,054
Yes.
Good boy.
425
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,918
Arf! Treat, please.
426
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:39,265
[ Smooches ]
427
00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:42,268
Now, can we maybe think about
getting out of this room?
428
00:17:42,302 --> 00:17:43,579
Yeah.
429
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:47,135
I mean, I'm not completely sure
what my new purpose is,
430
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:49,447
but I know
what it is for today.
431
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,104
[ Grunts ] We --
432
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,105
[ Grunts ] Geez.
433
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:55,488
We...are going
bed shopping,
434
00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,283
and -- and not
at that mattress store
435
00:17:57,317 --> 00:17:59,285
with the mariachi band.
436
00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:01,597
I-I don't think
I can face those guys.
437
00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:06,637
Hi.
438
00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:08,673
[ Scoffs ]
What do you want?
439
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,435
I made you
some mac and cheese.
440
00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:13,471
There's, uh,
two powder packets in here,
441
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,473
'cause you're not
driving, right?
442
00:18:17,165 --> 00:18:20,029
I really don't want to hear
anything you have to say.
443
00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:22,446
Well, here's the deal.
444
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,137
I'm not gonna
say anything.
445
00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:26,829
Oh, good.
Then you can leave.
446
00:18:26,864 --> 00:18:28,003
I am gonna say
one thing.
447
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:30,695
[ Scoffs ]
Knew it.
448
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,632
Look, no matter
what you think,
449
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,669
I would never, ever
450
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,671
want you to go through
something like this.
451
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:44,468
There is not one bit of this
that makes me happy.
452
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:47,022
I mean, that was gonna be
my grandkid.
453
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,441
It's hard for me to think
about you being so relieved
454
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:54,650
that I wasn't
gonna have the baby.
455
00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:56,997
I'm having all these
crazy feelings,
456
00:18:57,032 --> 00:19:00,139
even though I wasn't planning
to have a baby.
457
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,383
Well, yeah, I mean, you were
just starting to wrap your head
458
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:06,628
around keeping it and getting
excited about being a mom,
459
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:09,009
and then, suddenly,
that's taken away.
460
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:12,496
Well, I mean, that's got
to be hard and confusing.
461
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:14,532
I know. I-I let myself
connect with it,
462
00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:17,466
and now that's gone.
463
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:19,399
And the minute
I start to think
464
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,814
maybe it'll be
easier this way,
465
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,058
I-I feel so guilty.
466
00:19:23,092 --> 00:19:24,991
I know I, like,
could have eaten better
467
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:26,303
and rested more --
468
00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:28,650
No, no, no.
Don't do that.
469
00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:29,996
It's not your fault,
okay?
470
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,100
This is so common.
471
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,101
Remember what
the doctor said?
472
00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:34,345
It's like 20%.
473
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:38,349
But just the fact that you feel
like you didn't do enough
474
00:19:38,384 --> 00:19:41,421
means that, one day,
you're gonna be a great mom.
475
00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:42,422
Alright?
476
00:19:42,457 --> 00:19:44,769
Now, it's gonna
come in waves,
477
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:47,427
and when it does,
you can talk,
478
00:19:47,462 --> 00:19:49,257
and I will listen.
479
00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:52,398
Thanks.
480
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,814
You're not gonna hold me
the whole time, are you?
481
00:19:57,161 --> 00:20:01,614
Well, not the wholetime,
but until you fall asleep,
482
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:04,858
and then another
hour or two...
483
00:20:04,893 --> 00:20:08,207
unless I fall asleep,
then for the night.
484
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,037
I don't know what's
more suffocating --
485
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:14,454
your love or this
dense-looking mac and cheese.
486
00:20:16,318 --> 00:20:20,426
I wasgoing to ask
if you wanted to come back
487
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,462
to the house
and live with me again.
488
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:23,463
Really?
489
00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:24,464
Yeah, but it's too late.
490
00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:25,707
A half hour
after you left,
491
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,433
I turned your room
into a scrapbooking space.
492
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,435
[ Scoffs ]
Scrapbooking?
493
00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:31,851
What part of our lives
do you want to remember?
494
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:35,441
Uh, so after you
choke that down,
495
00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:37,719
how about we go home?
496
00:20:37,753 --> 00:20:39,445
I'd like that.
497
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:41,654
Yeah, besides, you're gonna
spend enough time in this room
498
00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:44,967
when you come back after you get
knocked up by the next drifter.
499
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,764
Was it too soon?
500
00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:51,042
♪♪
501
00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:56,496
Can't we just move
our new bed in?
502
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:59,396
The waterbed was our first bed
as man and wife,
503
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:02,295
and I think it's important
to commemorate
504
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,090
this new chapter
in our lives.
505
00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:05,954
[ Sighs ] Alright.
506
00:21:05,988 --> 00:21:07,956
Well, seems a little
much to me,
507
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,441
but if you want
to do it, okay.
508
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:11,753
Okay, we're ready!
509
00:21:11,787 --> 00:21:14,859
[ Mariachi band playing ]
510
00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:18,000
♪♪
511
00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:20,831
[ Mariachi performer
singing in Spanish ]
512
00:21:20,865 --> 00:21:27,355
♪♪
35176
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