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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,305
**
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,606
Ahh.
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,442
I got a great floor plan
for my new house
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,710
from this plan store.
5
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:13,081
Take a look.
This is really nice.
6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,749
Well, the plan uses the square
footage pretty well.
7
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,885
I know.
And...
8
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,019
[ Drawer opens, closes ]
9
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:22,556
...I want to put a finished
basement right here.
10
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:23,957
Uh, no way.
11
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,793
You and I get in a fight,
next thing I know,
12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,828
you're locking me down there
with Beverly Rose
13
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,164
and I'm tapping on the pipes
for help.
14
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:31,532
No, it's for Mark.
15
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,401
He's getting older now,
and I want him to have a place
16
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,635
where he can hang out
with his friends
17
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,104
and play video games
and stuff.
18
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,572
Mm-hmm. My house had a basement
growing up.
19
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,808
I don't really remember
playing video games so much,
20
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,844
but I do remember
my pants being off a lot.
21
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,914
Just because you couldn't
keep your hands off yourself
22
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,882
doesn't mean that
I shouldn't get a basement.
23
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,552
Just remember,
basements flood,
24
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,687
especially when
your tenant down there
25
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,823
lets her bathtub
overflow.
26
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,359
I needed the water
to put out the fire I caused
27
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,528
by leaving my curling iron
on the bathmat.
28
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,763
You're welcome!
29
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,633
Hey, don't finish the basement,
just seal it.
30
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,034
That makes more sense.
31
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,636
I think I'll decide
what makes sense.
32
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,771
Just like you decided
that your face
33
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,940
should be more wolf pelt
than face.
34
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,842
Whoa.
I'm trying to help.
35
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,277
Why do you keep
jumping on me?
36
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,979
Because you keep telling me
what to do with my house.
37
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,981
Let's have a code,
okay?
38
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,116
When I want
your opinion,
39
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,152
I will use
these special words --
40
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,454
"Ben, I will probably
do the opposite,
41
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,888
but what do you think?"
42
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,391
If you want to help somebody,
help me.
43
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,861
There's only one bedroom
that has its own bathroom.
44
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,863
I need
a private bathroom too.
45
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,766
Well, you've just knocked out
all the load-bearing walls,
46
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,434
so you'll be bathing
while the dogs
47
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,536
are trying to sniff you
out of the rubble.
48
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,873
Hey, your primary bathroom
doesn't even have two sinks.
49
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:49,443
People want two sinks,
you know, for resale value.
50
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,079
Here you go with
your mansplaining again.
51
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,114
I don't care
about resale value.
52
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,983
I'm going to live here
for the rest of my life,
53
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,651
and I only need
one sink.
54
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,019
Now,
if that's a problem,
55
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:02,523
just get me everything at cost
and go on your way...
56
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,225
until I need you to come back
and build it.
57
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,526
But then, on your way.
58
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,432
-- Captions by VITAC --
59
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:19,307
**
60
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:27,215
**
61
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:35,055
**
62
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:43,030
**
63
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,602
Hey, guys? Come here,
I want to show you something.
64
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,806
Please?
It's really important to me.
65
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,278
Uh, hey, a delivery van
full of fried chicken
66
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,480
just broke down
in front of the house.
67
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,551
Tricked you vultures
into caring about me again.
68
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,053
Oh, that is so sad.
69
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,489
He didn't have any friends
so he built one.
70
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,692
It's not a friend,
it's a contrabassoon.
71
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,261
Check it out.
72
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,928
[ Sour note plays ]
73
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,931
I know.
74
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,868
I thought I could teach myself
with free lessons online,
75
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,572
but do you guys have any idea
where I can find a teacher?
76
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,173
I-I've gotta make
the school orchestra
77
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,409
to even have a chance of
getting a college scholarship.
78
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,943
Wait a minute.
You guys remember
79
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,745
my mom's old boyfriend,
Lou?
80
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,582
He was a virtuoso on
a few different instruments.
81
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,484
And if I'm remembering
correctly,
82
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,687
one of them was
the contrabassoon.
83
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,423
Actually, nothing else
sounds like contrabassoon,
84
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:43,857
so it had to be that.
85
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,359
That's great.
86
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,760
Do you know how to
get in touch with him?
87
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,263
Um, somebody just has to
call Bev
88
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,798
and see if she's still
got his number,
89
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,434
and since we all hate her
and you don't hate her yet,
90
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,469
it's gonna be you,
Mark.
91
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,538
Fine.
92
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,640
Hi, Grandma Bev.
It's Mark.
93
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,009
Yeah, Aunt Jackie said
your old boyfriend, Lou,
94
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,877
played the contrabassoon.
95
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,348
Y-Yes, yeah, she's still dating
a much younger man,
96
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,450
and, no, I don't know
what's wrong with him.
[ Sighs ]
97
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,320
I'm really just trying to find
a contrabassoon teacher.
98
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,887
Uh, okay.
99
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,122
Lou Vitore?
100
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,924
Do -- Do you have
his number?
101
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,093
Okay. Alright.
102
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,363
Alright, okay.
Thank you.
103
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,465
What's that? Oh, you want
to talk to Aunt Jackie?
104
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,934
Um, she's busy right now,
105
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,002
but she says she loves you
106
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:32,773
and can't wait to come over
and give you a nice sponge bath.
107
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,342
[ Whispers ] What?!
108
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,344
Just kidding,
she already hung up.
109
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,145
Oh, Mark.
110
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:42,350
Oh, uh, you have to push
the red button, Grandma.
111
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,418
Okay.
112
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:47,187
Alright, I'll -- I'll tell her
you still want the sponge bath.
113
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:50,558
I played a joke
and then life played a joke.
114
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:54,127
**
115
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,963
It's weird.
You've got a pizza oven,
116
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,165
but I never see people
eat pizza in here.
117
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,534
You're about to
find out why.
118
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,710
Hey, it's delicious.
119
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,178
Finally!
120
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:15,248
Whatever was living in the oven,
you can't taste it anymore!
121
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,621
Okay,
so I estimated materials
122
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,823
based on the changes
you guys wanted.
123
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,625
Would you mind
giving these to Darlene?
124
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,960
Why don't we find
a third party
125
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,262
since neither of us really like
being in her presence?
126
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,498
[ Chuckles ] Right?
127
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,099
You saw how
she bites my head off
128
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,001
every time I bring something up
about the house.
129
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,569
I mean, I-I don't know
what her problem is.
130
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,004
I'm offering her
everything at cost.
131
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,872
I'm doing all this work
for free.
132
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:43,010
Huh, I bet you wish
she moved to Rockford now.
133
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,177
No.
134
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,647
I didn't want her
to move away.
135
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,382
Really?
136
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,584
You would've missed her
if she moved away?
137
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,120
Well, you know,
138
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,557
the devil you know,
you know?
139
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,158
That's a lot of
"you knows."
140
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,327
Yeah, I know.
141
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,164
So, she bites your head off
every time you say something,
142
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,233
but you keep coming over,
143
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,636
and you're making this big push
for two sinks.
144
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,804
Who would use that second sink,
Ben?
145
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,606
No,
it's not for anyone.
146
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,008
It's for resale value.
147
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,277
I mean, it could be
for someone who loves her
148
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,612
and wants
to live with her,
149
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:21,749
like someone who has a railroad
spike through their head
150
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,217
and can no longer
feel dignity.
151
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:27,488
Thou doth protest
too much me thinks.
152
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,657
Me is in college.
153
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,859
Look.
It's real clear
154
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,463
Darlene has decided she's gonna
have a one-sink life.
155
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,297
I don't even know why
we're talking about this.
156
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,267
Because
at the end of the day,
157
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,771
I'm really just a basic bitch
who loves hot goss.
158
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,073
Alright.
159
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:49,209
You want me to tell you how
I really feel about Darlene?
160
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,879
Yeah.
161
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,649
[ Whispers ] Her sister's a huge
pain in the ass.
162
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,951
Okay.
163
00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:01,088
Eat your rat pizza
and hit the bricks.
164
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,423
[ Laughs ]
165
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,893
Whatcha doin'?
166
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,861
I gotta hurry up and get ready
for my lesson.
167
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,598
Last time, I was like a minute
late and Lou got upset.
168
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,433
He says artistry's lost
one minute at a time.
169
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,836
[ Scoffs ]
He sounds like a hard-ass.
170
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,270
Don't let him
make you anxious.
171
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,506
[ Knock on door ]
172
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,208
Do not make any contrabassoon
jokes in front of Lou.
173
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,144
[ Gasps ]
I just can't stop them!
174
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,648
I'll write them down, and you
can hear all about them later.
175
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,950
Hiya, Lou,
come on in.
176
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,085
I'm Dan, Mark's grandpa.
Oh.
177
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,954
Good to meet you.
178
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,524
I'm Caleb's grandpa.
179
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,291
We don't need to know that,
either.
180
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:41,194
Well, here's something
you might want to know --
181
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,730
I'm a musician, too.
182
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:43,831
Harmonica.
183
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,733
Harmonica?
184
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,367
It's not an instrument.
185
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,672
It's a toy you find
in a cereal box.
186
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,174
Well, Bob Dylan
may not agree with you,
187
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,545
but unfortunately you're here,
Bob's not.
188
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,480
I'm almost finished
warming up.
189
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,517
Warm up on your own time,
not my time.
190
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,620
How long did you practice
last night?
191
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,689
Uh, two hours.
192
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,091
Two hours
i-isn't going to cut it.
193
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,527
If you want to learn
the contrabassoon,
194
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:16,764
plan on
four hours a night.
195
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:17,798
Yes, sir.
196
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,299
I'll practice
for as long as I have to
197
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,401
if it's gonna get me
a scholarship to college.
198
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,103
What?
199
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:26,406
You don't learn the
contrabassoon to go to college,
200
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,141
you learn
the contrabassoon
201
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:32,045
because you love
the contrabassoon.
202
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,847
Can I do both?
203
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,049
Apparently
you can't do either.
204
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,954
This instrument
demands sacrifice --
205
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:44,792
your time, your family,
your friends, your lovers.
206
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:49,963
Your new lover...
207
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,701
is the contrabassoon.
208
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,204
Are you ready for that,
Mark?
209
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,306
I-I-I'm ready
for that.
210
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,642
I -- Look around, I'm dying to
give all this up.
211
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,644
Then play
with that passion.
212
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,114
Major scale, now.
213
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,817
[ Plays sour notes ]
214
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,385
Wrong.
215
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,621
Again.
216
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,123
[ Plays sour notes ]
217
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,357
Wrong!
218
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,392
What's wrong with you?
219
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,596
I've seen a chicken
play a piano.
220
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,932
Are you even trying?
221
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,300
What the hell's the matter
with this guy?
222
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,936
It's only the kid's
second lesson.
223
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,604
Why does he have to
ride him like that?
224
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:31,972
You played football
in high school.
225
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,273
Didn't your coaches
ride you?
226
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,375
Oh, yeah,
I saw some practices
227
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,145
where the coach called him
dumbass or "crap for brains"...
228
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,313
Yeah, but --
...numbnuts,
229
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,415
butt-picking mouth-breather,
and, uh...
230
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,717
She gets the idea.
231
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,152
No, please, go on.
232
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,487
...Cry Baby Conner,
Ding-Dong Danny,
233
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,922
Dumber Than
a Bag of Doorknobs.
234
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,824
Stop!
235
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:53,593
I'm gonna talk to this guy
before the next lesson.
236
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,295
Mark's not built
like me.
237
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,099
I can let this stuff roll off,
he takes things personal.
238
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,170
And don't ever call me
Ding-Dong Danny again.
239
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,641
Hey,
what're you doing?
240
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,209
Oh, I'm just wrapping up
some stuff
241
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,012
I want to save from the house
before we knock it down.
242
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,982
Are any of those urns
unoccupied?
243
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:18,285
They'd make really
cool-looking cookie jars.
244
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,053
This is from Ben.
245
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,588
Why didn't he just
bring it to me?
246
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,323
Because you keep
attacking him
247
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,559
like that psychotic rabbit
from the Monty Python movie.
248
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,395
No,
I didn't attack him.
249
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:31,999
Maybe he felt attacked because
he's so stupid and patriarchal.
250
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,134
I don't know
about patriarchal,
251
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,903
but he is
definitely stupid
252
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,138
because he still
has feelings for you.
253
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,140
[ Scoffs ]
What are you talking about?
254
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,508
When he dropped
these off,
255
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,444
he kind of said he'd miss you
if you moved to Rockford.
256
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,179
And the way he's pushing
the whole two sinks thing --
257
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,415
Just stop, okay?
I don't know why you think
258
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,750
you should be reading
something into this.
259
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,418
Ben has made it
very clear,
260
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,286
over and over again,
that we're done.
261
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,990
He thinks the same thing
about you.
262
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,692
What if you guys
aren't done?
263
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,528
No, we are, and I cannot
go through this again, okay?
264
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,230
I've finally gotten
to a place
265
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:07,134
where I am okay with
living by myself with one sink.
266
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,401
Leave it alone, Becky.
267
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,037
Okay. Sorry.
268
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,072
I just thought
you'd want to know,
269
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,406
because
you'll be out of luck
270
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,942
once scientists
figure out a cure
271
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,310
for whatever it is
that makes Ben like you.
272
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:25,919
[ Knock on door ]
[ Grunts ]
273
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,757
[ Television shuts off ]
274
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,661
Well, look who it is.
275
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,196
Harmonica boy.
276
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,931
[ Chuckles ]
277
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,534
Look, Lou,
278
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:44,371
I need to talk to you
before Mark comes down.
279
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,774
I caught some of your lesson
yesterday...
Mm-hmm.
280
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,476
...I'd appreciate it
if you'd lighten up on the boy.
281
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,145
[ Chuckles ] Well,
I'm not taking notes from you,
282
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:54,214
Ding-Dong Danny.
283
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,185
Yes,
I heard you in the kitchen.
284
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,053
Mark's a sweet kid.
285
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,889
He tries hard.
286
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,624
There's no sense in
treating him like a rented mule.
287
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:08,295
Thank you for
your home-spun wisdom.
288
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,931
Now, if you're done,
289
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,600
get the boy down here
290
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,770
and move aside.
291
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,106
I'm not done
because you're not getting it.
292
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,607
So let me put it
this way --
293
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,911
if I ever hear you
yelling at him like that again,
294
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,278
it'll be the last time.
295
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,948
My daughter's got a house
with a crematorium,
296
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,718
and I'm just itching
to fire that thing up.
297
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:38,258
So, if I don't
change the way I teach,
298
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:41,094
you'll kill me
299
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,630
and burn my body?
300
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,432
You're taking that
very literally,
301
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:50,570
but...yeah, something bad
will happen to you.
302
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,704
You know what?
303
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,641
It's not worth
what you pay me
304
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,244
to try to bring culture
to you people.
305
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,747
You can go back to
playing washboards
306
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,784
and your moonshine jugs.
307
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,087
Good day, sir.
308
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,365
I, uh, thought I heard Lou.
Where is he?
309
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,033
Uh, he just left.
310
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,402
I told him I didn't like the way
he was treating you,
311
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,172
and he
totally overreacted.
312
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,439
What did you say?
313
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,740
Nothing.
314
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,777
I simply asked him
to respect you,
315
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,013
and I might've made a joke
about burning him alive.
316
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,949
Maybe he took that
the wrong way, I don't know.
317
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,784
Damn it, Grandpa!
318
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,953
He was my last hope
to get into college.
319
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,321
You're ruining my life.
320
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,555
I was defending you.
321
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,591
I can handle anything
he throws at me,
322
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,260
because that's what I need to do
to get where I want to go.
323
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,828
You need to fix this.
324
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,064
Fine.
325
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,799
I'll go talk to Lou.
326
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,467
And don't come back
without him.
327
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,604
The contrabassoon
has made you hard.
328
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,676
I could've done this
by myself.
329
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,012
[ Sighs ]
What are we
even looking for?
330
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,247
Well, depending on
what kind of shape
331
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,449
the stones from the chimney
are in,
332
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,885
we can save them during the demo
and use them inside.
333
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,921
I think they'd make
a great accent wall.
334
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,855
Well, I don't even know
if I want those stones.
335
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,390
This was a funeral home.
336
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,927
A lot of people have wafted up
through that chimney.
337
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,996
No, no, no, t-this one comes
from the family room fireplace.
338
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:26,366
That one's the one
that the souls come out.
339
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:32,572
Wow. [ Chuckles ] You can see
everything from up here.
340
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,042
Look at all the seagulls
circling the dump.
341
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,576
Pretty.
342
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,678
Well, hey, hey.
343
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,413
This is why I came up here,
okay?
344
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,649
You gotta be careful where
you're stepping, okay?
345
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,118
This roof has some wood rot
underneath,
346
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,519
and it's a little soft
in places.
347
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,355
Yeah, I'll be fine.
348
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,390
I know
since I'm saying it,
349
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,259
your first instinct
is to ignore it,
350
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,727
but trust me,
wood rot is no joke.
351
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,464
Yeah, wood rot is so complicated
that a woman like me
352
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,599
couldn't possibly figure it out
by herself.
353
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,635
Look, I'm not worried.
I weigh less than a sandwich.
354
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:06,306
Oh, God. Why are you
so hard to deal with?
355
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,276
I am not threatening
your precious independence
356
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,678
by helping you
build a decent house.
357
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,580
Why are you mocking
my independence?
358
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,016
I went through hell
learning to be okay on my own,
359
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,918
and especially because
you were a part of that,
360
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,988
I would think you could
stop making fun of it.
361
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,222
Oh,
don't try to blame me
362
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,823
for the fact that we didn't
work out.
363
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,825
I think we both
had a hand in that.
364
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,194
Yes, okay, I admit it.
365
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,661
I made mistakes,
but you know what?
366
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,264
I'm a different person now,
and I'm trying to move on.
367
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,800
So just back off
and let me have my one sink.
368
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,068
Fine! Fine.
369
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,736
I hope you're so happy
370
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,672
in your ridiculous one-sink
house that you never leave,
371
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,409
and the rest of the human race
can live in peace!
372
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,943
Oh, I will be happy,
373
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,446
because there won't be anybody
telling me what to do
374
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,416
or where on my own roof
I can step.
375
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,318
You know what?
376
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,620
Maybe I'll just do
a little dance right here.
377
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,023
[ Laughs mockingly ]
378
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,758
Or here! * Dun-dun-dun-dun,
dun-dun-dun-dun, dun *
379
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,093
Or here!
380
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,334
Darlene!
381
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,204
Are you okay?
382
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:14,474
No,
I just fell through a house.
383
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,157
What was that for?
384
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,060
I'm just so happy
you're not dead.
385
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,396
That didn't feel like
a thanks-for-being-alive kiss,
386
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,831
but I-I liked it.
387
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,472
[ Winces ]
388
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,773
Yeah,
I gotta be honest,
389
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,042
I'm tasting
a little blood there.
390
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,411
Um, I think
we should really,
391
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,080
uh, get you to
the emergency room, okay?
392
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,214
Yeah,
probably a good idea.
393
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,515
Alright.
Slow, slow, slow.
394
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,749
[ Groaning ]
Ow, ow, ow.
395
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:57,984
It's okay.
I got you, I got you.
396
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,387
[ Groaning ]
397
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,989
Oh, okay.
Here, here, here.
398
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,157
[ Grunts ]
399
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,458
Okay.
400
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,527
[ Both breathing heavily ]
401
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,862
Lighter than a sandwich,
my ass.
402
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:15,102
**
403
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,569
What do you want?
404
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,471
I came to apologize.
405
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,707
You mind if I come in
and talk to you?
406
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,243
Fine.
407
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,115
You got a lot going on here.
[ Door closes ]
408
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,017
Did you really play
with the Boston Pops?
409
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,919
Oh,
I played with the Pops.
410
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,122
I played with Bernstein.
411
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,490
I played with
the Chicago Symphony.
412
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,292
Are you on
any of these records?
413
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,793
All of them.
414
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:45,565
This is my legacy!
415
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:48,401
Look, uh...
416
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,070
I shouldn't have spoken to you
the way that I did.
417
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,807
I'm very protective
of my grandson.
418
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,777
That's not why
I walked out.
419
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,612
You want to know why
I really walked out?
420
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:02,349
Because I made a lighthearted
jab about cremating you?
421
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:03,983
Oh, no, no.
422
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,085
Because I realized
423
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,955
with the amount of time
that boy has
424
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,358
to master
that instrument,
425
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,527
I'd have to drive him so hard
I'd break him.
426
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,229
You don't have to
worry about that, Lou.
427
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,498
The kid will do anything
to go to college
428
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,699
and make his life better.
429
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,301
He took amphetamines.
430
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,704
He hustled rich kids
by selling them illegal essays.
431
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,339
That's terrible,
432
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:30,377
but clearly,
he has the soul of a musician.
433
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,212
So help him.
434
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,514
He'll kill himself
to rise to your standards.
435
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,417
And if you're as good a teacher
as you say you are,
436
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,619
he'll make you proud.
437
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,888
I'll do it.
438
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:46,025
I'm one of the best
contrabassoon teachers there is.
439
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,960
Then again,
there's only three of us.
440
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,863
**
441
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,433
Hey.
Woman on PA: Dr. Baker
to pediatrics, please.
442
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,202
For you.
443
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,604
Aww,
this is so sweet.
444
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,473
Yeah, 50 bucks
in the hospital gift shop.
445
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,542
Take it back.
446
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:08,080
I just gotta
do one thing first.
447
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,651
[ Sighs ]
448
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,889
What are you doing?
449
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,127
I'm proposing.
450
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,398
Will you marry me?
451
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:28,034
Where's this
coming from?
452
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,939
Well, when you fell
through the roof,
453
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,541
I thought I lost you,
454
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,309
and then
all that stuff about,
455
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,978
you know, who did what to who
in the relationship
456
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,548
just became meaningless.
457
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,884
And just to be clear,
it was what you did to me,
458
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,186
but I don't care
about that anymore.
459
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,223
You're -- You're not gonna
change your mind, right?
460
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,625
'Cause
I couldn't handle that.
461
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:56,195
Give me total amnesty
for everything I ever did.
462
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,265
Okay, yeah.
463
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,534
The lying and the cheating
and everything --
464
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,670
you're forgiven.
465
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,740
I just want us to spend
the rest of our lives together.
466
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,742
[ Scoffs ]
467
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,645
This is impossible.
468
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,748
I-I can't believe
this is happening.
469
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,518
Don't marry me just 'cause
you want a sink.
470
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,922
I don't know how else
to get one.
471
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,231
I love you.
472
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,567
I love you, too.
473
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:38,104
Then answer the damn question
'cause I'm not asking again.
474
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,307
[ Laughs ] Yes.
Yes, yes.
475
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,309
[ Both chuckle ]
476
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,612
Okay.
477
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,947
What are you doing?
478
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,817
Well, I gotta put this thing
back on the bear
479
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:58,625
[ French accent ]
Madames and monsieur,
480
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,428
tonight for your
listening pleasure,
481
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,897
I present Mark,
master of the contrabassoon.
482
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,933
-Ooh.
-Whoo!
483
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,835
Now that I've had another lesson
with Lou,
484
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,002
I wanted to play something
485
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,038
to thank my family
for all your support,
486
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,840
especially
my Grandpa Dan.
487
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,842
"Free Bird"!
488
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:19,879
[ Playing "Hot Cross Buns" ]
489
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:23,916
Mommy, is it supposed to
sound like that?
490
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,118
God, I hope not.
33432
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