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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:07,208
**
2
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,677
Ugh.
3
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,744
Darlene:
Oh, now look what you did.
4
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,813
You got vegetables
on Dad's plate.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,148
What's he gonna do
with those?
6
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:18,086
Alright. Let's fix
this elbow-bumping problem.
7
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,389
I need all the lefties
to sit next to each other
8
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,924
on this side of the table,
all righties on this side.
9
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,334
We need a righty
to switch to a lefty.
10
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,702
Mary, start using
your other hand.
11
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,670
Why me?
12
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,107
Because the rest of us
are too old to change.
13
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,109
I'm not that young.
14
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,077
I bet none of you
even know how old I am.
15
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,678
Sure we do, sweetie.
You're 10.
16
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,779
No. 11.
17
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,881
9.
47.
18
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,551
You're all wrong.
She's 12.
19
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,453
Anybody thinking
what I'm thinking?
20
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,987
She should be working,
right?
21
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,458
Well, give her a minute.
She's a Conner.
22
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,692
She's not gonna get
to retire,
23
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,294
so she should enjoy
her golden years now.
24
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,963
Oh!
This is ridiculous anyways.
25
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,132
Why are we all eating
at the same time
26
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,867
like it's rush hour
on a Japanese commuter train?
27
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,436
Because right now,
a lot of us
28
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,604
are feeling like we need
to be together more.
29
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,906
Well, I know Mary needed that,
and thanks, everybody,
30
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,074
for helping her deal
with everything
31
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,075
while I was out of town.
32
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,810
That's what
family's for.
33
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,113
Hey, Dad, did Chuck
ever get back to you
34
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,582
about his friend that was gonna
put his house on the market?
35
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,051
I'm down to looking at
converted garages,
36
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,819
and it's cool
that one whole wall
37
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,121
is a window
if you open it,
38
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,589
but in the winter,
I'm gonna have to hire a kid
39
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,324
to shovel my living room.
40
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,760
It's weird. I've called
Chuck a couple of times
41
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,795
over the last few weeks,
but he hasn't called me back.
42
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,398
He and Anne-Marie
are probably on their boat
43
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,801
heading down the Mississippi
to party in N'orleans.
44
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,671
I'm gonna do that, too,
when I retire.
45
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,940
Except there's no boat,
no party, and I'll be dead.
46
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,809
Maybe
we should go over there.
47
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,644
I don't want to go
over there unannounced.
48
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,280
Unannounced?
49
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:56,016
"Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present
50
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:59,953
the Earl and Duchess
of Whitetrash."
51
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,689
[ Laughs ]
52
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,024
Fine. We'll just say
we were in the neighborhood.
53
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,092
It won't be a lie.
54
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,860
I got four birthdays
coming up at work
55
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,163
and I've been meaning to break
into that Goodwill donation bin
56
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,832
next to the fancy
dog hotel anyway.
57
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:15,135
Oh, uh,
Beverly Rose needs some shoes.
58
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,271
Those are easy to fish out
with a coat hanger,
59
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,473
but try to get two
of the same size this time.
60
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:24,712
"The Earl and Duchess regret
that they must take their leave
61
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,949
to attend
the royal dumpster dive."
62
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,119
If you see a bra that's not
too stretched out, grab it.
63
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,221
[ Knock on door ]
64
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,288
-Not it!
-Not it!
65
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,356
-Not it!
-Not it!
66
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,824
Oh, damn!
67
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,026
I had a mouthful
of mashed potatoes.
68
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,296
If you're looking
for money,
69
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,164
we don't care about
your band uniforms
70
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,066
and your chocolate bars
suck!
71
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,070
Hi!
72
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,305
What are you doing here?
73
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,474
Great news. We don't have
to worry about the school
74
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,042
finding out
that we're dating anymore.
75
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,710
That is great.
76
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,745
Why not?
77
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,513
'Cause they found out.
78
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,081
What?
79
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,217
How?
We were so careful.
80
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,719
Well, remember that text
you sent me where you said,
81
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,588
"Every second I'm in your class,
all I can think about
82
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,590
is watching you
grade papers naked"?
83
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,759
Yeah. Why?
84
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,061
Well, you sent it to me
and Wanda the TA.
85
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,096
No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
86
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,231
You sent it to me and her
on the thread
87
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,099
where we were talking about
your overdue assignment,
88
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:22,736
which, ironically,
was about self-sabotage.
89
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:26,073
Oh, my God.
I feel terrible.
90
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,841
How do we fix this?
91
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,677
We can't.
92
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,945
See, Wanda already took it
to the dean,
93
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,081
and everything's cool,
though.
94
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,215
I told him
it was all my fault,
95
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,518
and I handed in
my resignation.
96
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,554
Oh, my God, Glen, I can't
believe you did that.
97
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,423
Are you gonna be able
to get another job?
98
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,625
No.
That's the beauty of it.
99
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,059
This is my chance.
100
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,261
I can finally
write my book,
101
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:50,130
and you and I don't have to hide
our relationship anymore.
102
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,132
Oh, that is fantastic.
103
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,901
So you have
some money saved up?
104
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,703
Oh, God, no.
105
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,104
I'm
a community college teacher.
106
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,039
I made more money working
at The Gap in high school.
107
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,774
I'm good
for about three months.
108
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:04,111
Maybe four, if I eat once a day
and live in a youth hostel.
109
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,046
We'll feed you
at The Lunch Box.
110
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,650
Um, you must have a really
good idea for the book.
111
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,152
Here's the best part.
112
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,622
I got nothing.
113
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,657
How is that
the best part?
114
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,626
Then everything
is a possibility.
115
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,494
Leap
and the net will appear.
116
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,095
You know who says that?
117
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,131
Dead circus performers.
118
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:29,169
-- Captions by VITAC --
119
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:37,144
**
120
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:44,852
**
121
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:52,626
**
122
00:04:52,660 --> 00:05:00,334
**
123
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,274
**
124
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,510
How did we get
another sad,
125
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,011
middle-aged person
in this house?
126
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,647
I thought
we sprayed for that.
127
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,282
It's okay.
128
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,985
He's percolating ideas
for his new book.
129
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,887
Tell him to go percolate
in the kitchen.
130
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,491
He's cutting into my
cartoon time with Beverly Rose.
131
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,127
Okay, honey,
132
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,328
it's time
to brush your teeth
133
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,563
and get ready
for preschool.
134
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,732
What's the point?
135
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,068
Where did you hear that?
136
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,070
Uncle Glen.
He says it a lot.
137
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,844
So, it's been
a couple days.
138
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,913
I don't want to interfere
with your process,
139
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,348
but I'm excited to hear
what you got.
140
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,551
I hit a wall.
141
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,553
Well, you can't hit a wall.
142
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:53,987
You're in a new phase.
143
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,323
You said you always wanted
to write a book.
144
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,726
You must've had some ideas
at some point.
145
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,494
I've never had any ideas.
146
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:04,031
I just read a book and thought,
"I could do this."
147
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,933
Well, of course
you can do this.
148
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,569
You have a brilliant mind.
149
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,571
You just need
some motivation.
150
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:14,775
Okay. Tomorrow, I wanna see
three ideas for your new book,
151
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,410
with a paragraph for each
152
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:19,012
indicating what some
of the chapters might be.
153
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,280
You're right.
154
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,549
Thank you.
155
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,784
I needed
a kick in the ass.
156
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,185
I'm gonna have one more bowl
of cereal,
157
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,054
and then I'll write
the entire book today.
158
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,292
You know, sometimes,
people set too high of a goal
159
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,195
so they have an excuse
for their failure.
160
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,365
I have a much better excuse
for my failure.
161
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,033
Nope. I got nothing.
162
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,536
But I'm gonna come up with
three great ideas for that, too.
163
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:45,305
I am on fire!
164
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:50,043
**
165
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,812
Maybe we shouldn't
do this.
166
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,148
Maybe he's got another friend
he's doing fun stuff with.
167
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,950
What are you? 8?
168
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,152
[ Knock on door ]
169
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,125
Hey, Darlene. Dan.
170
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,094
Hey, hey.
How's it going, stranger?
171
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,129
I've been trying to get ahold
of you for the last few weeks.
172
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,999
Uh, I-I-I've just been busy.
That's all.
173
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,233
Uh, you know, listen,
174
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,902
I'm kind of in the middle
of something.
175
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,804
It'd be great
if you could come back.
176
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,840
Uh, hey, uh,
177
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,175
do you mind if I come in
and use your bathroom?
178
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,978
I-I'll be real quick.
179
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,921
Wow!
180
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,023
What hit this place?
181
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,424
Now that you're home
all the time,
182
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,426
I guess Anne-Marie
finally got wise
183
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,696
and realized she could do better
than you and left you.
184
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,097
Oh, my God,
I was just joking.
185
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,133
She didn't leave you,
did she?
186
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,167
No.
187
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,169
No, um...
188
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,238
she's been in the hospital
for a few weeks.
189
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,707
A few weeks?
190
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,475
What's going on?
191
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:59,179
She's, uh --
She's had a couple s-strokes.
192
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,149
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
193
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,451
Why the hell
didn't you call me?
194
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,987
Because
you're not a doctor,
195
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,221
and you got problems
of your own,
196
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,323
and, you know, I've been
so busy going to see her,
197
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,726
I haven't had a chance
to clean up around here.
198
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,696
I don't know what to say.
199
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,533
Anne-Marie's tough.
I'm sure she's gonna be okay.
200
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,035
Yeah, and --
and while we're here,
201
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,136
at least let us
help you.
202
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:27,074
We'll get rid of some
of this trash.
203
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,010
Normally, I would throw away
this coupon for carpet cleaning,
204
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,645
but I'm thinking
we hang onto it.
205
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,548
There might be a carpet
underneath all this.
206
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,049
Uh, you know what?
Leave it.
207
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,184
I'll -- I'll --
I'll get it.
208
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,586
Oh, it's not problem.
209
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,120
J-Just stop!
210
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,092
Look...
211
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,095
thanks, but, um,
I don't need any help.
212
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:52,199
My kid's coming over soon,
and we got it covered.
213
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,001
You heard the man, Darlene.
214
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,936
He wants Chuck Jr.
to help him.
215
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,906
You want to clean something,
clean our house.
216
00:08:58,939 --> 00:08:59,940
Alright, buddy,
if you need anything,
217
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,109
you know how to get me.
218
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,944
We'll hold a good thought
for Anne-Marie.
219
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,581
Okay, but I'm
at least gonna throw out
220
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,217
this old donut box
on our way out.
221
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,519
Huh.
Looks like a donut,
222
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,122
but it's just a bunch of ants
dancing in a circle.
223
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,127
Alright, it's time for another
moment of "Stew, But True"!
224
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:27,367
According to Wikipedia, the
Greek historian Her-- Herodotus
225
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,103
claimed that stew existed
as early
226
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:33,440
as the fourth century B.C.,
227
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:37,911
when cooks would "put the flesh
into the animal's paunch,
228
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:41,649
mix water with it, and boil it
like that over a bone fire.
229
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:46,286
This way, an ox is ingeniously
made to boil itself..."
230
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,321
Okay, that's horrifying.
231
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,424
I gotta read these first.
232
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,062
Hey, sweetie.
233
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,596
Hey.
Hey, Glen.
234
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,631
Ben.
235
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,567
Ah, thanks so much
for coming, Ben.
236
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,270
Well, I've helped launch
a few writers in my time,
237
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,272
so I'm happy to do it.
238
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,441
Okay, hit us
with your greatness.
239
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,343
I had a hard time
organizing my thoughts,
240
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,412
so I tried
stream of consciousness.
241
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,014
Hey, that can work.
242
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,248
You know, a lot
of famous writers
243
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,784
use stream
of consciousness.
244
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,151
Kerouac. Huh?
245
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,486
Hunter Thompson.
246
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,421
I mean, a lot of drugs
floating down that stream,
247
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,023
but still,
it's pretty good company.
248
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,026
Glen's just so modest.
249
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,461
Let me see it. Uh...
250
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,997
"I'm no good.
251
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,133
Who would want to read a book
by me?
252
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,868
I'm sad I woke up today."
253
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,971
Well, there you go.
254
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,741
You got three great titles
right there.
255
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,977
Okay, it doesn't have
to be profound.
256
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,612
Just give me something.
257
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,947
I got nothing.
258
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,283
I looked inside me and there's
just a gaping black hole.
259
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,484
Oh, come on.
260
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,287
Look, even black holes
have something to offer.
261
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,025
You know, they swallow light,
stars, solar systems.
262
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,494
What's inside
your black hole, Glen?
263
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,662
Nothing.
264
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,998
Just a black hole.
265
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,300
But if there was something
of you
266
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,970
at the bottom
of your black hole,
267
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,171
what would it be?
268
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,875
Just me,
falling in black forever.
269
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,545
Uh...I think somebody needs
a little pick-me-up,
270
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,248
so before we 51-50 you,
271
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,184
let's throw a bowl of ice cream
down that hole
272
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,585
and see if it helps.
273
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,156
So,
what's the book about?
274
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,159
Nothing. He's broken.
I broke him.
275
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,661
Well, you broke it,
you buy it.
276
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,097
I just bumped into it
and it fell off the shelf.
277
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,198
It was an accident.
278
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,200
Doesn't matter.
It's all on camera.
279
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,002
You gotta make good,
sister.
280
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,771
You know
what's really upsetting?
281
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,939
This conversation
is already better
282
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,075
than anything
he came up with.
Mm.
283
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,543
It's a good thing
you love him.
284
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,446
Ehh...
285
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,882
There you go.
There you go.
286
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,716
Am I in
the right house?
287
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,052
Something smells good
and Harris is cooking.
288
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,387
Aldo's kids
love spaghetti.
289
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,589
So Grandpa's teaching me
how to make baked spaghetti.
290
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,391
There's a secret to it.
291
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,860
First you take
your spaghetti...
292
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,962
and then you bake it.
293
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,931
Next we're going to unravel
the mystery
294
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,732
behind boiled potatoes.
295
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,870
So, Dad, that spaghetti
296
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,972
looks like something
you could easily pack up
297
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,141
and bring over to your
distressed friend's house.
298
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,243
We're not going
to Chuck's.
299
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,113
His kid's
gonna handle it.
300
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,247
Uh, no, he's not.
301
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,783
I just got off the phone
with Chuck Jr.,
302
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,051
and he knows
what's going on,
303
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,619
but he can't get away
from work.
304
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,388
And did you know that Chuck Jr.
lives in Nebraska now?
305
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,091
Damn it.
No, I did not.
306
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,928
Well, I told Chuck to call me.
There's a reason he didn't.
307
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,730
Yeah, because he's
a stubborn old man like you are.
308
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,966
I don't get it.
He's your best friend.
309
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,100
Don't you care
what he's going through?
310
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,335
Of course I do.
311
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,436
Well?
312
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,971
He's a grown-ass man.
313
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,806
He can make
his own decisions.
314
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,008
Your house is full
of grown-ass people
315
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,977
and you're always
up in our business.
316
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,446
So, what's really
going on here?
317
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,149
I'm worried that
Anne-Marie's gonna die
318
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,085
and Chuck's
gonna be devastated.
319
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,419
I barely got through
my own loss.
320
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,855
I don't think I have
the strength
321
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,222
to go through
all that again.
322
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,160
Yeah, but you found
the strength when Mom died
323
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,863
because you had us there
to help you get through it.
324
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,565
Chuck's got nobody.
He needs you.
325
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,336
You're right.
You're right.
326
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,005
I'll go.
327
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,174
Oh,
it's gonna get ugly.
328
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,109
Chuck does not
like help.
329
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,044
When I forced him to get
a colonoscopy,
330
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,146
I told him they were
just gonna X-ray him.
331
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,714
When he woke up,
he was so pissed,
332
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,718
he snapped the antenna off my
truck and almost gave me one.
333
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,888
Well, keep your back
to the wall
334
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,956
and wear your overalls,
but go do what's right.
335
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,497
**
336
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,498
Hey, Beck.
337
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,067
Wake up
and go to bed.
338
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,668
Oh.
339
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,838
I fell asleep trying to come up
with ideas for Glen's book.
340
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,140
Oh.
341
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,642
I think it's great that
you're trying to elevate
342
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,177
the voice of
a middle-aged white guy
343
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,645
with a Master's degree.
344
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,315
It's time
their stories were told.
345
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,651
I'm just trying to help
because he's so depressed.
346
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,088
Turns out Glen's just not good
at handling adversity.
347
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:18,591
That is not a great sign
for somebody dating a Conner.
348
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,160
I know.
349
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,964
And he's a smart, kind guy,
but he's falling apart here.
350
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,101
If there's a crisis, I need
a partner who's got my back.
351
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:31,171
And I know it makes me
sound like a jerk,
352
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,174
but I'm seeing a side of him
that I'm not crazy about.
353
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,675
Well, you guys
haven't been together long.
354
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,610
If you're already
seeing things that worry you,
355
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,913
jump out of the plane now
while it's over water,
356
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,983
not later when it's over
rocks and pointy things.
357
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,853
I don't think
I can do this.
358
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,356
Well, make up your mind,
'cause his attitude
359
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,958
is starting to affect
Beverly Rose.
360
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,192
We were on a walk
yesterday,
361
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,194
and I said, "Hey, look
at that pretty sunset,"
362
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,397
and she said,
"Eh, they're all the same."
363
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:04,137
**
364
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,439
Whaddya say,
whaddya know?
365
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,075
What is all
that stuff?
366
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:12,279
Well, this would suggest
I'm gonna throw something away,
367
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,982
while this would lead one
to believe
368
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,984
that I'm gonna cook
something for you.
369
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,119
Dan,
I told you I was fine.
370
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,720
Chuck Jr.'s
on his way over.
371
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,722
We both know
that he's not.
372
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,558
Look, I don't need anybody
checking up on me.
373
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,994
Hey, I'm not anybody.
374
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,896
I'm your best friend,
and yes, you do.
375
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,264
Anne-Marie's
my best friend.
376
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,899
Yeah, she is.
377
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,303
And she'd kick both our asses
if she saw how you were living.
378
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,073
What's going on, Chuck?
379
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,142
How'd you let things get
this bad?
380
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,312
You know how it is when
you've been married a long time
381
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:49,482
and you split
the responsibilities.
382
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,951
She cooked the meals,
paid the bills,
383
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,587
and cleaned the house
and raised our son,
384
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,658
and I changed the oil
in the cars and went to work.
385
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:03,196
If I remember correctly,
386
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,998
she went to work, too.
387
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:09,336
It's amazing more women
don't murder their husbands.
388
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,039
You know,
in the beginning,
389
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,773
you pretend that
you don't know how to cook
390
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,009
and clean stuff like that
so you don't have to do it.
391
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,777
[ Chuckles ]
Then after a while,
392
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,312
you -- you forget
how to do it,
393
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:23,150
and then...
God forbid you need to.
394
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,517
I hear you, brother.
395
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,054
I'm pretending all over again
with the new wife,
396
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,789
but she doesn't just get
impatient and give up on me.
397
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,825
She keeps teaching me and
teaching me until I get it.
398
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,729
It's infuriating.
399
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,398
I'm telling you,
I was trying to figure out
400
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,068
which button to push to wash
my clothes yesterday.
401
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,471
That damn machine shrunk my
underwear and played me a song.
402
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,506
[ Laughs ]
403
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,479
I'm scared, man.
404
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,381
I guess that's part
of the reason
405
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,715
I haven't cleaned
this place.
406
00:16:55,748 --> 00:17:00,019
I spend all day
thinking about, what...
407
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,888
what if I lose her?
408
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,557
Yeah, there's something
about going to the kitchen
409
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,527
to tell her something funny
that only she would laugh at
410
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,098
or something only the both
of you would remember...
411
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,868
...she's not there.
412
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,337
Dan?
413
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,073
Yeah?
414
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,109
Shouldn't you be saying
stuff like,
415
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,411
"She's gonna make it
and it's gonna be okay"?
416
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,045
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Didn't I say that?
417
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,014
I thought I said that.
No, you didn't say it.
418
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,382
Well,
I'm gonna say it now.
419
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,551
She's gonna be fine.
420
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,952
Of all of us,
Anne-Marie knows
421
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,088
you can't possibly survive
without her,
422
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:38,091
so she's gonna hang on
and let you go first.
423
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,127
Well, I've drank enough beer
and ate enough hot dogs.
424
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,928
I'm doing my part.
425
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,798
I got something here
that might help you out.
426
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:46,866
Well, what is that?
427
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,069
Oh, it better not be
a poem!
428
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,938
It's not.
429
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,073
It's a list
Rose made for me
430
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,409
of how to do all the stuff
in the house she did
431
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,645
so when she'd get mad and yell
at me for not doing it,
432
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,780
I couldn't say
I didn't know how.
433
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,617
It starts,
"Dear useless man..."
434
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,986
I'll make you a copy.
You got a printer?
435
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:10,323
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
436
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:11,891
What?
437
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,428
Anne-Marie's the only one
who knows how to use it.
438
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,164
[ Snorts ]
439
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,167
Here ya go.
440
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,135
Becky should be here
any second.
441
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,603
Good.
I need to talk to her.
442
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,104
Um, she said
you're writing a book.
443
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,673
I wrote a novel once.
444
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,675
Really? Good for you.
445
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,243
I had
all kinds of problems.
446
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,011
Yeah,
that wasn't my experience.
447
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,980
As soon as I sat down
to the laptop,
448
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,282
it was just pouring out
of me.
449
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,850
I don't think I could have
stopped it if I wanted to,
450
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,486
but I guess I was
just some vessel
451
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,489
for something that
the universe wanted out there.
452
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,291
Wow.
That's every writer's dream.
453
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,792
Yeah.
I bet your book was amazing.
454
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,927
Uh, nah,
apparently, the universe
455
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,763
wanted 700 pages
of incoherent crap,
456
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,333
but, again, I-I was
just the vessel.
457
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,704
Hey.
Hey.
458
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:01,007
I assume the college called
and gave you your job back.
459
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,842
They did.
460
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,545
The dean said you felt guilty
about letting me take the fall
461
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,046
and that there was
no relationship,
462
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,781
and it was
all your fantasy,
463
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,418
and that you texted about things
that never actually happened.
464
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,120
Why'd you throw yourself
under the bus?
465
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,556
To get you
your job back.
466
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,959
And all they did
was put me on probation.
467
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,195
You belong
in the classroom.
468
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,163
You were like
a fish out of water
469
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,899
and it was so hard
watching you flop around
470
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,167
all over the place.
471
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,536
Thank you.
472
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,003
I was just starting
to get traction on my book,
473
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,439
but this is good, too.
474
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:37,344
So, I guess we go back to dating
on the down-low again, huh?
475
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,846
No, we can't.
476
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,682
We had a close call
and we have to learn from it.
477
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:45,352
Do you think we should stop
seeing each other?
478
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,020
I think
by your question,
479
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,757
you know the answer.
480
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,991
No, I don't.
481
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,726
In your heart, you do.
482
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,263
I really don't.
483
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,965
If you think about it,
you do.
484
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,603
I thought about it,
and I don't.
485
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,638
Yes!
We're breaking up!
486
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:11,110
So, that's it?
It's just over?
487
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:14,113
Oh, Glen,
you're a great guy.
488
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,715
We're just...
489
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,618
star-crossed lovers.
490
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,086
I'm sorry.
491
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,656
Oh, this is too hard.
You should go.
492
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,727
I ordered some pie.
493
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,231
Would you like it
to-go?
494
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,967
I guess I do now.
495
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,769
Hey, Jackie?
496
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,438
When you bring
Glen's pie,
497
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,441
uh, could you also bring
a piece of my heart?
498
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,543
In a to-go box.
499
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,777
Oh, to-go.
500
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:48,114
I really don't know
what happened here.
501
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,483
Um, I'm all out of pieces
of Becky's heart,
502
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,085
but I did slap a piece
of cheese on there for you.
503
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,389
So, out you go.
504
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,157
**
505
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:01,761
Hey, Chuck.
Good to see you, buddy.
506
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,130
Hey, hey.
What's the occasion?
507
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,498
Well, I'm hoping
Anne-Marie'll be home soon,
508
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:06,999
and I'm just hanging out
with you guys
509
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,167
until my woman gets back
510
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,769
and I can blow
you all off again.
511
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,005
Plus, Anne-Marie's
gonna need somebody else
512
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,674
to do the cooking
for a while,
513
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,175
so I'm teaching Chuck
some of your mom's
514
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:17,810
secret family recipes.
515
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,579
Secret recipes?
516
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,647
What are you making?
517
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,015
Um, boiled weenies
on white bread.
518
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,151
And the secret is, your mom
didn't know how to cook.
35483
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