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[The Author narrates] Long, long ago,
in a land not that far away,
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a succession of kings
believed God granted them the right
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to rule England however they chose.
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You know Henry the Eighth?
Giant redheaded Tudor King.
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Treated his wives like Kleenex:
one blow and you're out.
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Divorced, beheaded, died,
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divorced, beheaded, survived.
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Whew.
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[Author] Next on the throne
was his son, Edward.
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Oh dear.
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When he died, the Kingdom expected
the crown to go to his half sisters,
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{\an8} Mary, or even Elizabeth.
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00:00:39,541 --> 00:00:42,666
{\an8} But instead, came a total bloody shocker.
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Lady Jane Grey.
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Intellectual rebel,
a bit of a pain in the ass,
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00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:52,583
and a political pawn
for her ambitious noble family.
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00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:56,750
Jane was married without her consent
and crowned Queen against her will.
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Then, just nine days later,
she was branded a traitor.
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And...
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wham... off with her head.
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Jane could have been
the leader England needed.
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But instead, history remembers her
as the ultimate damsel in distress.
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Fuck that.
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What if history were different?
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[♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"]
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Never do anything you don't want to do.
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[Esther] I do want it, though, Lady Jane.
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Well, then my advice is,
if his member looks pustular...
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-Don't shag him.
-Wise words, Susannah.
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-I made this salve to cure your itch.
-Aren't you clever?
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Isn't she clever?
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So, when's my cunny set for shagging?
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A few weeks.
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I can't abstain for a few weeks.
Could you?
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I couldn't.
But Jane wouldn't know.
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She's a lady.
Saving herself for marriage.
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I'm saving myself for myself, actually.
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In fact, I may never marry.
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[laughing]
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Yes, mock the person
who's curing your vagina.
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[Esther] But how will you live?
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What will you do?
What would your mother say?
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-Lady Frances doesn't know.
-And I don't really care what she thinks.
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I've got bigger plans.
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Go on, tell her.
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I'm writing the world's first
complete compendium
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of England's medicinal herbs
and their uses.
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-Herbs?
-Herbs.
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00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:15,916
Herbs.
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Text, and drawings
for those who can't read.
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I intend to publish it and sell it.
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-[knock on door]
-Perhaps I can make enough money
to actually live independently.
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Where is the bloody Calendula officinalis?
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-[Susannah] Jane?
-Found it.
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-The Duke of Leicester is coming.
-Bollocks. Is that today?
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-She told me to get flowers.
-[Susannah laughs]
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Use it twice a day!
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[♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"
continues]
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-♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo ♪
-[whooping]
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♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
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♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo... ♪
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[Susannah] Jane, look.
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New stable boy. Lush.
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He's teaching me how to ride.
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♪ They put you down ♪
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-[both chuckle]
-♪ They say I'm wrong ♪
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-[bells ringing]
-♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪
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♪ Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress ♪
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♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪
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♪ Rebel Rebel ♪
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-♪ How could they know? ♪
-[horses neighing]
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♪ Hot tramp, I love you so... ♪
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-[horses neighing]
-[horseman] Whoa!
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{\an8}-[song fades]
-Whoa.
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[horses neigh]
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Did you chew them?
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-Shut up, Margaret.
-They're lovely.
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00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,666
-Shut up, Katherine.
-Shut up, all of you.
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And smile. Earn your keep.
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[Author] When Jane's father died
with no male heir,
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his great-uncle once removed,
the Duke of Leicester,
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inherited everything,
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leaving the Grey widow and daughters
dependent on Leicester's charity
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for their very survival.
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[cackles]
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[Margaret grunts]
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[Duke] Ghastly crowds on the London Road.
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A hanging at Chepstow.
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Oh, no, what a bother.
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-I think we should burn them all.
-Margaret.
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00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,583
Quite agree, poppet.
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The latest Division Laws stipulate death
for the trespassing Ethian menace,
93
00:04:06,541 --> 00:04:08,625
but not method,
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00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:12,833
and interpretation is
the enemy of efficiency.
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You've grown up, haven't you?
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Bless you, child. [chuckles]
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You'd be prettier if you smiled.
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Would I?
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[Frances] Your Grace,
now do you have the...
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[flies buzzing]
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Elevation eases my gout.
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Cherries are good for that.
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-You know, I read that...
-[Duke] You read?
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In a book?
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00:04:38,791 --> 00:04:42,458
I never permitted my wives...
all dead in childbirth...
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The fruits of my loins are very large.
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[Duke cackling]
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I never permitted any of them
to read or even own any books at all.
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Yes, why did you burden us
with all this education, Mother?
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Because stupid women are tedious.
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[whispers] What about stupid men?
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-Eh? What's that?
-Oh, nothing, nothing, Your Grace.
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Leicester, pray tell,
do you have the confirmation?
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Ah. Yes, indeed I do.
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Jane!
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Sweet child, we have secured for you
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the most thrilling honor one can bestow
upon a young noblewoman.
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Your marriage.
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[Author] Oh, shit.
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My marriage?
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[Duke] What modesty!
To believe that you are going to die...
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Shut up!
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-I'm sorry?
-You should be!
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You're wrong about everything.
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I do not look prettier when I smile,
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and I am not destined to be wretched.
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-I am...
-Overwhelmed by the wonderful news.
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Now I will escort Jane to her chambers.
[chuckles]
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Come along.
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-Forgive her, Your Grace.
-[Duke laughs]
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[mutters indistinctly]
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How dare you plot my life
with that cretin?
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-You drove me to this.
-But I don't want to be married.
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You no longer define your life
by what you don't want.
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You refuse to discuss suitors.
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Or hunt or dance or do anything
except for gossip with your servant
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00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:04,708
and fiddle with
those infernal herbs and books.
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Lord Guildford Dudley
will be your husband.
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Guildford Dudley?
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00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,083
Guildford Dudley?
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I've heard of him.
The girls at Court say he's vile.
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He-he drinks, fights, gambles.
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He cavorts with women of ill repute.
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He is the last man I would ever marry.
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Jane, this marriage protects us.
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Leicester will soon tire
of his charity towards us,
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and I do not intend to leave my house
for a wretched hovel in Croydon.
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Your father left us nothing.
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Our only wealth is blood.
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And you are pure Verity
and cousin to the King.
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The Dudleys will do anything for power,
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and they are very, very, very rich.
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You mercenary bitch.
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We do not do that anymore.
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In three days' time, you will be wed.
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I will do everything in my power
to get out of this marriage.
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[chuckling] Jane.
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You have no power.
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My book.
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Where is my book?
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What did you do?
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I threw that wretched thing on the fire.
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[dramatic orchestral music playing]
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[insects chirping]
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[Author] There comes a point
in everyone's life
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when you realize you simply cannot put up
with your mother's bullshit
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for another moment.
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[♪ Kate Nash:
"All Day and All of the Night"]
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Tell me what pleases you.
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♪ To be with you in the daytime ♪
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Yeah, this works.
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♪ I'm not content to be with you
in the daytime ♪
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♪ I'm not content to be with you... ♪
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[panting]
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[sighs]
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Psst.
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Psst!
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[whispers] No.
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[whispers] Now.
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[sighs]
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[song fades]
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-We're leaving.
-I was rather enjoying that.
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-Wait, what did you say?
-We're leaving. Now. Right now.
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We'll go north,
find a village where nobody knows us.
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I'll make my cures, and you can sell...
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-Are you crazy?
-I have been trapped here my entire life.
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If I marry, I will be trapped
somewhere else.
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00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,291
Now, that is crazy.
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-Jane, you don't know
what it's like out there.
-You sound like...
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...like my mother.
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-It's nearly dawn. We must hurry.
-It's dangerous.
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Ethians, the Pack.
People talk of civil war.
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You don't really believe that,
now, do you?
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00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,041
I mean, when's the last time
you even saw an Ethian?
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00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,458
What do you know? You don't go anywhere.
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00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:07,125
Jane.
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00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:08,916
When I was a kid, I...
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Your family kicked you out.
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00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,125
-Yes, you told me.
There was a man involved.
-No, that's not...
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00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,208
You won't be safe.
201
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:18,041
I will never be safe
while my mother is trying to barter me.
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00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,625
I want my life to be mine, forever.
203
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,416
-Jane...
-Then stay.
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00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,166
I'll be fine on my own.
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00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,125
You'll be dead in a week.
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00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:31,625
We'll need some money.
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00:09:32,958 --> 00:09:34,166
Do you like my ring?
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00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:38,416
My sweet mother is a sound sleeper.
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-♪ The only time I feel all right ♪
-[♪ Kate Nash:
"All Day and All of the Night" resumes]
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♪ Is by your side ♪
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00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,375
♪ Girl, I want to be with you ♪
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00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:49,416
{\an8}♪ All of the time, all day... ♪
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We'll follow the old path to Marlow,
hop the river barge, start our lives.
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00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:55,875
♪ All of the time ♪
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00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:58,708
♪ All day and all of the night ♪
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00:09:58,791 --> 00:10:02,083
{\an8}♪ Oh, girl, I want to be with you ♪
217
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,541
{\an8}♪ All of the time ♪
218
00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:05,833
♪ All day and all of the night... ♪
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00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:07,666
Hey, Jane.
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00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:09,666
What?
221
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:10,791
[song ends]
222
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:12,208
What's that sound?
223
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:13,625
[horn blows in distance]
224
00:10:13,708 --> 00:10:15,458
[horse neighs]
225
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:17,041
[dogs barking]
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00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,125
Run.
227
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:21,333
[dramatic music playing]
228
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:22,750
[barking continues]
229
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:25,083
{\an8}Hurry!
230
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:27,750
[men shouting]
231
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:31,416
-Come on!
-I'm coming.
232
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,750
Hyah!
233
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,458
[panting]
234
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:43,375
[riders shouting]
235
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:48,375
Hyah! Hyah!
236
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:51,541
Come on.
237
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,666
Stop! They're here!
238
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,333
That's the thief that stole my ring
239
00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:01,708
-and kidnapped my daughter.
-What? No. Mother, it wasn't...
240
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,208
She didn't. Let go of her! It was me!
241
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,958
-It was me!
-Get off me, you langer!
242
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,375
It was not you. Understand?
243
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,833
I forced her to come!
244
00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:13,916
Your maid will be hanged for stealing,
if she doesn't die in prison first.
245
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,333
Jane, forgive me.
246
00:11:17,416 --> 00:11:18,416
[grunts]
247
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,708
[hawk screeches]
248
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:26,791
Ethian.
249
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:30,000
Have you forgotten the punishment
for hiding an Ethian?
250
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:31,291
I had no idea.
251
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:34,166
Then you're a fool. Go home!
252
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,250
♪ ♪
253
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:45,166
[Author] A hawk.
254
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:48,125
Yes, Susannah is a hawk.
255
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,000
Did I mention that in this world,
256
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:53,416
some people can
transform themselves into an animal?
257
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,250
They're called Ethians.
258
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,625
Everyone else, like Jane, is Verity.
259
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,500
Jane has always known
about Ethians, of course.
260
00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:03,666
She just never expected that her maid,
261
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,708
her friend, was one of them.
262
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:09,666
Jane was taught
that Ethians are dangerous abominations
263
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,791
{\an8} sent by Satan
to destroy the Verity way of life.
264
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:14,791
{\an8} Poppycock, of course.
265
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:17,916
As an Ethian,
you can't choose your animal form,
266
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,250
but you can switch back and forth
whenever you please.
267
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,500
Ethianism skips generations
268
00:12:23,583 --> 00:12:26,750
and pops up now and again,
usually in puberty,
269
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,625
during a moment of high emotion.
270
00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,750
One minute,
you're fighting with your sister,
271
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,083
-the next, bam, you're a badger.
-[badger chitters]
272
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:35,583
It's just one of those things
you're born with,
273
00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:39,416
like being left-handed
or the color of your eyes.
274
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,750
For decades, Ethians have been reviled,
persecuted, banned.
275
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:46,708
And then King Henry,
renowned shithead that he was,
276
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:51,250
exiled them to the wilderness,
where they must hunt, beg or steal
277
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,041
{\an8} to survive.
278
00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:57,041
{\an8} Jane has always wondered
what it's like to be an Ethian,
279
00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,625
but she'd never known one in real life.
280
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:06,875
And real life, as we know,
can be a real kick in the tits.
281
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:08,416
[Margaret] Why is Jane sulking?
282
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,666
[Katherine] Mummy's right.
Jane's just being difficult.
283
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,083
Oh, how typical of you to be on her side.
284
00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:17,000
Ow! Not fair. I wasn't ready.
285
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:18,166
I've an idea.
286
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,333
Let's test all the servants
with the dunking to see if they're Ethian.
287
00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:22,416
[Jane] A dunking?
288
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:27,541
And who will feed you and make you fires
when all the servants are dead?
289
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,208
-Take that!
-Ah!
290
00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:31,833
Margaret, are you all right?
291
00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:34,583
[laughing] Tricked you.
292
00:13:34,666 --> 00:13:36,666
Fake blood? Margaret.
293
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:37,750
That's cheating!
294
00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:40,041
You mispronounced "winning."
295
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,666
[upbeat music playing]
296
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:49,000
[Jane] Where are you going?
297
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,291
Where's she going?
298
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,291
To London to see Lord Dudley.
299
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,500
Planning your wedding.
300
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,958
Hey!
301
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:09,375
Follow that barge.
302
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,458
♪ ♪
303
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:25,416
[heavy lock clacks]
304
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,583
[door creaks]
305
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,583
-Lady Frances.
-Lord Dudley.
306
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,000
And... Lady Jane?
307
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:35,708
I wasn't expecting...
308
00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:39,041
...my future daughter-in-law. Welcome.
309
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,375
{\an8}-[sheep bleating]
-[birds chirping]
310
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,875
{\an8}As you can see, we're installing
311
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:48,458
new tapestries for the nuptials,
straight from Firenze.
312
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:55,166
Braised hog, peacock pie, jellied egret,
and my own favorite, roast dolphin.
313
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,708
Oh, yum!
314
00:14:56,791 --> 00:15:00,041
Now, musical players...
how do we feel about the French?
315
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,375
-Tepid.
-I know.
316
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:02,458
Filthy beast-lovers.
317
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:05,208
But the tunes. Hmm!
318
00:15:05,291 --> 00:15:08,750
I must say,
I'm enchanted to finally meet you.
319
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,958
Everybody tells me
you're very, very clever.
320
00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,416
I think my mother
rather regrets my education.
321
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,083
-That's absolute...
-I jest.
322
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:16,208
[chuckles]
323
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:20,166
My cousin, King Edward, and I
shared tutors as children.
324
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,958
He's my oldest friend.
325
00:15:22,041 --> 00:15:24,875
Oh, kings don't have friends.
They have subjects.
326
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,291
And counselors like moi.
327
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:28,708
My Lord, I'm here to meet your son.
328
00:15:28,791 --> 00:15:31,541
I'm afraid Guildford isn't here.
He's out. He's busy doing things.
329
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:33,791
Things?
330
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,708
Drinking and/or fighting?
331
00:15:35,791 --> 00:15:38,750
Indisposed with a woman of fiscal virtue?
332
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,333
Oh, yes, I know all about those...
333
00:15:40,416 --> 00:15:41,875
Nerves. [chuckles]
334
00:15:41,958 --> 00:15:43,916
I quite understand. It's a big day.
335
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,291
Now, do you know my other son, Stan,
is also engaged?
336
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:49,458
To a Bavarian princess.
337
00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:51,041
-Really?
-Oh, yes.
338
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:53,083
-Is she very rich?
-Filthy.
339
00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:56,583
Terrible outbreak of the plague there at
the moment, so the wedding is postponed.
340
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:59,458
But as I said to him,
if she can survive the plague,
341
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:00,625
she can survive marriage.
342
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,708
[prolonged laughter]
343
00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:08,708
Actually...
344
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:11,000
Dudley and I have
a marriage contract to discuss.
345
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:13,125
I would like to say something first.
346
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:16,500
Again? By all means, my dear girl.
347
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,958
I don't want to marry your son.
348
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,416
Nobody cares what you want.
349
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,250
Now, when you buy a tapestry,
you're not buying it for yourself.
350
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,416
You're buying it for your descendants...
351
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,000
[door slams]
352
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
[dramatic music playing]
353
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,375
[boy] Oi, mister!
354
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,458
Spare some silver?
355
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:46,458
-Children, you'd like a little coin?
Go on, then.
-[children shouting]
356
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:47,958
Oh, I thought you wanted it?
357
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,291
Jump higher. [warbles]
358
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:51,125
Oh, jump higher. Go on...
359
00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:53,375
[shouts] You little shit!
360
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,500
Stop that! Stop!
361
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,416
How dare you hurt that child?
362
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,708
-It accosted me.
-You were teasing him. I saw it.
363
00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:03,083
Poor little thing. Are you hurt?
364
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:04,625
He's had worse.
365
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:06,875
Give him those coins.
366
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,208
No.
367
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,291
Do it.
368
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,875
Certainly. My Lady.
369
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,166
-Oopsie.
-Really?
370
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,916
I'm teaching him a lesson
about the evils of begging.
371
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,916
Pox on you, fuckface.
372
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:26,833
Watch out. They have fleas.
373
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:32,000
Who is that man?
374
00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:34,416
Lord Dudley's son. He's a prat.
375
00:17:37,416 --> 00:17:40,583
That's Guildford Dudley?
376
00:17:40,666 --> 00:17:43,833
[Author] Jane knows
that marrying such a prat
377
00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:46,833
is inconfuckingceivable.
378
00:17:46,916 --> 00:17:48,541
Jane needs a miracle.
379
00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:54,041
And the only people
who can perform miracles are saints.
380
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,458
And kings.
381
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,208
[rousing music playing]
382
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:07,541
King Edward took the throne
at nine years old
383
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:11,875
after his father, King Henry,
finally kicked the royal bucket.
384
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:17,208
Edward's life changed from spending
carefree days with his beloved cousin Jane
385
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:20,458
to being told by bossy-boots counselors
386
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:23,000
-how to rule his own bloody Kingdom.
-[coughs]
387
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,958
[soldier shouts orders]
388
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:30,291
Including, but not limited to,
reading poorly written proclamations
389
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,791
targeting Ethians.
390
00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:39,000
[Lord Seymour] Is there a problem,
Your Majesty?
391
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,166
M-My men...
392
00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:54,750
...I would that I could be
by your side on this day
393
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,333
and that you would call me "friend."
394
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,208
He's gone completely off-script.
395
00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,750
-Indeed, Lord Seymour.
-Get the chair.
396
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:04,541
I'll never know the rush of combat
397
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:08,125
or the joy of brotherhood-in-arms,
398
00:19:08,208 --> 00:19:13,916
but what I can give you
is my unending respect and gratitude
399
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,583
for your bravery and valor,
400
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:22,041
so that we may assure our people
they are safe in England forever.
401
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:25,666
[soldiers] Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
402
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,541
[Seymour] Your Majesty.
403
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,208
Shall we?
404
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,708
[sighs] Just wait until everyone's gone.
405
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,666
[Edward] Who are those new soldiers
on the black horses?
406
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,250
[Seymour] I told you, remember?
Kingsland Guards.
407
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:50,791
An elite force to protect you
from the Ethian menace plaguing our land.
408
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,833
First point of order. [clears throat]
409
00:19:55,916 --> 00:20:00,583
Beasts were caught sneaking into Grimsby.
410
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:01,791
It was the Pack.
411
00:20:01,875 --> 00:20:03,916
-[crowd gasps]
-Yes, yes.
412
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,416
The so-called Ethian Resistance.
413
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,666
-[coughing]
-Beastly thugs
414
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,541
and in clear violation of Division Law.
415
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:17,250
No Ethian is permitted
in Verity cities, towns or properties
416
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,500
under pain of death.
417
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,708
-Sentenced to death?
-Of course. It's the law.
418
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:24,750
But you told me there is
plenty of food for them in the wild.
419
00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,333
Why must they sneak into Grimsby?
420
00:20:26,416 --> 00:20:29,875
The mind boggles.
I mean, have you ever been to Grimsby?
421
00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:33,083
Don't kill them. Just put them
back in the woods or something.
422
00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:38,875
My cousin, Lady Jane Grey, is here.
423
00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:41,500
Dismissed, all of you. Out.
424
00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:43,416
[quiet chatter]
425
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:50,083
Your Majesty.
426
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,958
Stop it. [chuckles]
427
00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:53,083
How are you feeling?
428
00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,250
-How's the cold?
-It's fine.
429
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:57,375
Ghastly, but it's fine, you know.
430
00:20:57,458 --> 00:20:59,958
Say hello to my new doggy, Petunia.
431
00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:02,791
-Hello, Petunia.
-She's a very devoted little thing.
432
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:05,000
-Won't let me out of her sight.
-Oh, she's beautiful.
433
00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,500
Tell me, Janey, how are your sisters?
434
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,416
Is Margaret still
pulling wings off butterflies?
435
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,708
Shall we take some air?
436
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:15,166
[wheelchair creaking]
437
00:21:17,041 --> 00:21:18,750
[barking]
438
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:22,666
I have terrible news.
My mother's forcing me to marry.
439
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:23,958
Will you intervene?
440
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,625
Jane, I've already approved it.
441
00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:29,458
Oh.
442
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:30,875
Why?
443
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:34,500
Why would you ever approve my marriage
without my consent?
444
00:21:34,583 --> 00:21:37,375
Be logical. It is your duty
to protect your family.
445
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:41,041
-I do not choose to marry.
-You think I chose this life?
446
00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:43,583
We're all born to certain roles.
447
00:21:43,666 --> 00:21:45,375
Our destiny is set.
448
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:47,041
Anyway, what else would you possibly do?
449
00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:49,125
I do not want to be a wife.
450
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:51,916
-Just some man's property.
-Well, I do not want to be a dying King,
451
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
but here we are.
452
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,583
-You're not dying.
-[coughing]
453
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:57,833
Are you?
454
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:03,000
I have the Affliction.
455
00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,583
Do you think I'll be the first to recover?
456
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:11,375
The Kingdom is in chaos.
457
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:15,166
-I'm doing my best, but soon I'll be gone.
-No.
458
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,958
No, don't say that.
459
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,000
This is the real world.
460
00:22:21,208 --> 00:22:24,333
Kings die. Noblewomen marry.
461
00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:32,125
{\an8}Now, as to the chap in question,
he cannot be that bad.
462
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:36,000
His pater is one of my counselors.
463
00:22:36,083 --> 00:22:39,291
You'll quickly improve him
the way that you improved me.
464
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:43,291
Did I need improving, though?
That is the question.
465
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:45,000
[Edward chuckles]
466
00:22:48,375 --> 00:22:52,833
I always thought
marriage sounded rather fun.
467
00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:56,791
A partner, a friend.
468
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,333
Someone to make you laugh.
469
00:22:58,416 --> 00:23:01,375
Tell you that you're not alone.
470
00:23:01,458 --> 00:23:05,583
I always thought I'd only marry
if I could choose the man myself.
471
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:06,958
Janey.
472
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:09,333
That's just silly.
473
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:16,208
[Author] Princess Mary
and Princess Elizabeth...
474
00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:18,750
Bess, for short...
are the discarded offspring
475
00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:22,583
of two of King Henry's
most unfortunate wives.
476
00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:26,333
Their brother, Edward, is youngest
but the first to get the crown
477
00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:27,708
-because of...
-Chop, chop, Bess.
478
00:23:27,791 --> 00:23:29,416
...you know, his penis.
479
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:31,125
[knocking]
480
00:23:32,708 --> 00:23:34,208
Your Royal Highnesses.
481
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:35,458
Where's our brother?
482
00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:37,750
He's in the gardens.
483
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,875
Perambulating with Lady Jane Grey.
484
00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:42,416
Lady Jane Grey?
485
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000
[upbeat music playing]
486
00:23:48,583 --> 00:23:49,875
[arrow thuds in target]
487
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,958
Sisters. [coughing]
488
00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,166
Your Majesty!
489
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:01,833
Eddiekins!
490
00:24:01,916 --> 00:24:03,583
Seymour, pie.
491
00:24:03,666 --> 00:24:07,166
-Oh, you look terrible.
-I don't think I look that bad, actually.
492
00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:09,416
Hello, brother. Cousin Jane.
493
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,000
Your Highnesses, it's a pleasure.
494
00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:12,083
Sweet Bess.
495
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:14,625
-Jane and I, we were having some...
-[Mary] Blackberry pie.
496
00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:16,000
Your favorite.
497
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:20,416
-Hmm?
-Mary, thank you.
498
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,541
[coughing]
499
00:24:23,625 --> 00:24:24,958
How awful, brother.
500
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:27,250
The Affliction is such
a dreadful way to die.
501
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:30,291
You cough and cough
until you cough your lungs right out.
502
00:24:30,375 --> 00:24:31,750
-[hacking]
-[Jane] Edward?
503
00:24:32,958 --> 00:24:35,000
-[Mary] Brother?
-[Seymour] Your Majesty?
504
00:24:35,083 --> 00:24:36,500
Edward?
505
00:24:36,583 --> 00:24:37,750
[choking] Janey.
506
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,708
He can't breathe. It's the Affliction.
507
00:24:39,791 --> 00:24:41,250
Guards, fetch Dr. Butts!
508
00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:44,583
We need pulmonaria. Uh, lungwort.
509
00:24:44,666 --> 00:24:47,208
The lilac flower planted over there.
Please!
510
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:49,875
Look at me. Hurry!
511
00:24:49,958 --> 00:24:51,041
[dramatic music playing]
512
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:52,791
[choking continues]
513
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,958
Breathe.
514
00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:06,333
[gasps]
515
00:25:06,416 --> 00:25:07,958
[panting]
516
00:25:09,958 --> 00:25:12,083
-Jane saved the King's life.
-Jane saved the King's life.
517
00:25:12,166 --> 00:25:13,583
Jane saved the King's life.
518
00:25:13,666 --> 00:25:15,708
-I'm here!
-[Seymour] Ah, Dr. Butts.
519
00:25:15,791 --> 00:25:16,833
I am here.
520
00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:20,083
I am... [panting]
521
00:25:21,291 --> 00:25:24,750
Another attack.
Oh, dear me. I forgot my forceps.
522
00:25:26,833 --> 00:25:29,458
You may wish to avert your eyes.
523
00:25:29,541 --> 00:25:31,041
I'm going in.
524
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,958
[Seymour] That was exciting, wasn't it?
525
00:25:38,041 --> 00:25:39,250
[Jane] Exciting?
526
00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:40,833
{\an8}I can't leave Edward like this.
527
00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:44,375
{\an8}Will you check if your medic has elfdock?
It's a herb.
528
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:47,208
{\an8}His Majesty enjoys
the finest medical care in the Kingdom.
529
00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:48,333
{\an8}Ta-ta.
530
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:51,500
[horses neigh]
531
00:25:52,791 --> 00:25:54,791
[lively music playing]
532
00:26:01,333 --> 00:26:03,291
{\an8}-[Butts] Might I venture a...
-[slurps]
533
00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:05,833
...suggestion, Your Highness?
534
00:26:05,916 --> 00:26:08,041
Boiled kitten tea with urine.
535
00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:12,583
An old man's urine, ideally.
536
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:14,833
[Charles] Oh, lovely. Lovely.
537
00:26:14,916 --> 00:26:17,041
No kitten tea. Thank you.
538
00:26:19,541 --> 00:26:21,500
Your Majesty, I only just heard.
539
00:26:21,583 --> 00:26:23,000
Oh, finally he turns up.
540
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:25,500
-Where is Jane?
-Why, I sent her home.
541
00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:27,541
[coughing]
542
00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:31,083
I think the time has come
to appoint your successor.
543
00:26:31,166 --> 00:26:33,083
I know.
544
00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:34,541
I'm not afraid of death.
545
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:36,875
[coughs] Well, that's not true.
I'm petrified.
546
00:26:36,958 --> 00:26:38,666
You have the strength of a thousand lions.
547
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:42,875
Your Majesty, it is incumbent upon me
as Lord Protector to confirm
548
00:26:42,958 --> 00:26:46,500
that your eldest sister, Mary, is indeed
the rightful heir to the throne
549
00:26:46,583 --> 00:26:49,000
and the only choice
to keep our Kingdom safe
550
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:52,750
from the rampaging hordes
of satanic beasts.
551
00:26:52,833 --> 00:26:54,583
Must you be so dramatic?
552
00:26:56,166 --> 00:26:58,333
The entire Kingdom agrees.
553
00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:00,541
I do not agree.
554
00:27:00,625 --> 00:27:03,500
Let's just take a beat for a moment
and think about this.
555
00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:07,416
Now, Princess Mary's mother, Catherine,
556
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:11,041
was originally married
to your father's brother, Arthur,
557
00:27:11,125 --> 00:27:13,000
the heir apparent.
558
00:27:13,083 --> 00:27:14,333
Remember that old chestnut?
559
00:27:14,416 --> 00:27:20,416
Now, when Artie died,
of course, she claimed non-consummation,
560
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:23,041
so that she could declare virgo intacta,
561
00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:25,541
get an annulment and marry the new King.
562
00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:27,916
But, I mean, come on, who are we kidding?
563
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,583
Spaniards? Th-th-th-th-th...
564
00:27:30,666 --> 00:27:31,791
-[chuckles]
-Mm.
565
00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:34,791
And anyway,
Henry went on to divorce Catherine.
566
00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:38,500
So, is Mary's claim even legally valid?
567
00:27:38,583 --> 00:27:41,708
Do you see?
[whispering] Technically, she's a bastard.
568
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,083
Now, what about Princess Bess?
569
00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,916
Her mother was an Ethian.
The people would never accept it.
570
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,625
[Dudley] You're absolutely right...
571
00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:50,583
Seymour.
572
00:27:50,666 --> 00:27:53,166
Now, what if there was somebody else?
573
00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:56,416
Someone with direct royal lineage,
574
00:27:56,500 --> 00:28:00,125
perhaps engaged to a highborn Verity.
575
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:03,041
Someone who could,
oh, I don't know, golly,
576
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:07,916
wear the crown until such time
as they could produce a son.
577
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,041
Lady Jane.
578
00:28:09,125 --> 00:28:11,458
Lady Jane Grey? Your cousin?
579
00:28:11,541 --> 00:28:13,375
[gasps] What a marvelous idea.
580
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:15,958
Queen Jane? It's a terrible idea.
581
00:28:16,041 --> 00:28:18,833
Well, it's His Royal Highness's idea.
Are you saying it's terrible?
582
00:28:18,916 --> 00:28:21,208
-[clears throat]
-[Edward] She's a girl.
583
00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:22,708
Girls can't rule.
584
00:28:22,791 --> 00:28:26,375
Jane can rule, with our help,
until such time as her son can be King.
585
00:28:26,458 --> 00:28:27,750
What a happy coincidence.
586
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:31,125
-[chuckling]
-Jane's husband-to-be is your son.
587
00:28:31,208 --> 00:28:33,666
The future King would be his grandson.
588
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:35,500
Oh, my, I hadn't thought of that.
589
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:37,458
Queen Jane. That's absurd.
590
00:28:37,541 --> 00:28:39,833
-Has a ring to it, doesn't it?
-[Edward] Stop squabbling.
591
00:28:39,916 --> 00:28:41,666
I have made my choice.
592
00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:44,041
[coughing]
593
00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:47,000
Take my will to the Chancery
for safekeeping.
594
00:28:47,083 --> 00:28:50,958
You may only open this
in the event of my death, and not before.
595
00:28:51,041 --> 00:28:53,166
[coughing]
596
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:55,833
[whimsical music playing]
597
00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:02,291
I say, do you think this will take you
very much longer?
598
00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:03,583
[groans]
599
00:29:03,666 --> 00:29:07,208
I shall take a horse.
I don't live very far.
600
00:29:07,291 --> 00:29:08,833
Lord Seymour wouldn't approve, My Lady.
601
00:29:08,916 --> 00:29:13,125
Well, he certainly wouldn't approve
of my catching my death in the cold,
602
00:29:13,208 --> 00:29:15,125
and neither would my cousin...
603
00:29:15,208 --> 00:29:16,875
the King?
604
00:29:17,958 --> 00:29:19,041
[sighs]
605
00:29:19,125 --> 00:29:22,958
Dudley, you swinish snake.
606
00:29:23,041 --> 00:29:24,958
A swine and a snake?
607
00:29:25,041 --> 00:29:26,166
This matter of succession.
608
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:29,000
I bow to King Edward's wishes,
whatever they may be.
609
00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:31,541
May the devil take you, Dudley.
610
00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:35,000
You know, you really must calm down.
This level of anger... it's simply toxic.
611
00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:37,833
-I can't!
-Breathe, my dear man.
612
00:29:37,916 --> 00:29:41,791
Let us hope he favors
the rightful inheritor in Princess Mary.
613
00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:43,250
If he names Lady Jane,
614
00:29:43,333 --> 00:29:46,208
I cannot be responsible
for what happens next.
615
00:29:46,291 --> 00:29:49,791
Of course you would not be responsible
for what happens next.
616
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:52,416
You'd be superfluous.
617
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:55,666
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a wedding to plan.
618
00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:57,583
[intriguing music playing]
619
00:30:01,291 --> 00:30:02,375
Lord Seymour.
620
00:30:02,458 --> 00:30:03,625
Give me that.
621
00:30:10,208 --> 00:30:12,166
Seymour, I've already made my choice.
622
00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:14,125
I need to rest.
623
00:30:14,208 --> 00:30:18,500
Your Majesty, you must eat.
Princess Mary's blackberry pie.
624
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,791
She's a dote, isn't she?
Always looking after your health.
625
00:30:20,875 --> 00:30:22,541
-[barks]
-[Edward] Petunia!
626
00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:23,791
-[clattering]
-Guards!
627
00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:26,791
Take this mutt to the kennel and kill it.
628
00:30:26,875 --> 00:30:29,416
-No!
-You are weak in mind and body.
629
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,708
This thing needs to be destroyed,
630
00:30:30,791 --> 00:30:32,250
and I shall take great pleasure
in doing it myself.
631
00:30:32,333 --> 00:30:36,416
-[barking, growling]
-Do not touch my dog.
632
00:30:37,875 --> 00:30:40,083
Dismissed.
633
00:30:40,166 --> 00:30:41,375
[barks]
634
00:30:43,833 --> 00:30:45,416
[owl hooting]
635
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:48,833
[Author] For the first time
in Jane's entire life,
636
00:30:48,916 --> 00:30:51,458
no one knows where she is.
637
00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:53,750
She is alone and free.
638
00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:59,250
She can finally escape, ride north,
discover... no, create her destiny.
639
00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:00,916
[men shouting in distance]
640
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,333
Wait a minute. What's that?
641
00:31:05,416 --> 00:31:10,791
Guards, a search party, clearly sent
by King Edward and/or her dratted mother
642
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,208
to find her.
643
00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:15,083
But as they say in the classics,
644
00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:17,833
not today, Satan.
645
00:31:19,208 --> 00:31:22,875
Jane needs somewhere to hide,
like an empty woodsman's hut
646
00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:24,500
or a nice hay bale.
647
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:27,875
Somewhere no one would ever think to look.
648
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:32,875
-[horse neighs]
-[glass shatters]
649
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:34,458
[♪ The Donnas: "I Didn't Like You Anyway"]
650
00:31:34,541 --> 00:31:36,541
[loud chatter]
651
00:31:43,666 --> 00:31:47,750
♪ You told me that it just couldn't be ♪
652
00:31:47,833 --> 00:31:50,958
♪ You don't wanna go out with me ♪
653
00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:53,500
♪ No, I'm not sad, I don't even care... ♪
654
00:31:53,583 --> 00:31:55,333
-[grunts]
-Yeah! I win!
655
00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:57,583
-Cheated, you gobshite.
-Did not, you dumb fuck!
656
00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,041
-[groans]
-Piss off!
657
00:32:00,125 --> 00:32:02,541
I say, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Do you mind if I interrupt?
658
00:32:04,458 --> 00:32:06,708
Arm wrestling is an ancient art.
659
00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:10,500
The winner must be humble.
660
00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:12,083
And the loser gracious.
661
00:32:12,166 --> 00:32:14,916
-Go shag a beast, ya posh wanker.
-Yeah, fuck off.
662
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,208
Very well.
663
00:32:16,291 --> 00:32:17,750
Off I shall fuck.
664
00:32:20,250 --> 00:32:23,166
-And now we're gonna gut ya.
-[young man] Gut me with what?
665
00:32:26,250 --> 00:32:27,500
Are you looking for these?
666
00:32:27,583 --> 00:32:28,833
[intriguing music playing]
667
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:31,416
[laughter]
668
00:32:34,625 --> 00:32:36,166
[crowd cheers]
669
00:32:37,416 --> 00:32:39,666
[crowd cheers]
670
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:44,291
And now I have your attention,
shall I torture you with a poem?
671
00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:46,083
[crowd] Yes!
672
00:32:46,166 --> 00:32:47,250
[together] No.
673
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:48,333
Too late.
674
00:32:49,833 --> 00:32:52,333
[speaking Latin] I have decided
to die in a tavern.
675
00:32:52,791 --> 00:32:55,875
Where the wine will be close
to my dying...
676
00:32:56,250 --> 00:32:57,750
[crowd, speaking Latin] ...mouth!
677
00:32:57,833 --> 00:32:59,458
[young man] Thank you!
678
00:32:59,541 --> 00:33:02,541
-And drink! Please, come on.
-[crowd cheering]
679
00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:07,666
[sultry rock music playing]
680
00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,666
[Author] Let us take a moment
to reassure our viewers
681
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:24,958
that there is no such thing
as love at first sight.
682
00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:27,708
But lust at first sight?
683
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:32,750
Oh, yes. Totally a thing.
684
00:33:32,833 --> 00:33:36,375
So, do you... come here often?
685
00:33:36,458 --> 00:33:41,041
[Author] Jane is the first person
in history to ever use that line,
686
00:33:41,125 --> 00:33:44,500
and two seconds later,
the first to regret it.
687
00:33:44,583 --> 00:33:46,041
[burps]
688
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,125
Wow.
689
00:33:47,208 --> 00:33:48,500
Oops.
690
00:33:48,583 --> 00:33:49,791
That's your response?
691
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:53,041
So you can recite the Archpoet standing
on a table in a dirt-floor tavern,
692
00:33:53,125 --> 00:33:55,458
-but you can't muster a simple apology?
-I said, "Oops."
693
00:33:55,541 --> 00:33:58,166
You mispronounced "vina," by the way.
694
00:33:58,250 --> 00:33:59,875
"Vee-na."
695
00:33:59,958 --> 00:34:02,250
Where'd you learn your Latin?
In a ditch?
696
00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:04,500
-Who would teach Latin in a ditch?
-Oh, you're missing the point.
697
00:34:04,583 --> 00:34:06,291
-The point being?
-Your mediocre Latin
698
00:34:06,375 --> 00:34:09,500
-and disappointing table manners.
-Are we at a table? No.
699
00:34:09,541 --> 00:34:11,416
Again, missing the point.
700
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,666
Has anybody ever told you
that you're an insufferable pedant?
701
00:34:13,750 --> 00:34:15,833
Oh, where I come from,
pedantry is a virtue.
702
00:34:15,916 --> 00:34:17,833
Where I come from,
amiability trumps semantics.
703
00:34:17,916 --> 00:34:19,583
Amiability is for the meek.
704
00:34:19,666 --> 00:34:21,666
Amiability is for the amiable.
705
00:34:21,750 --> 00:34:23,583
You are the rudest man I have ever met.
706
00:34:23,666 --> 00:34:26,041
Well, the night is young. Mingle.
707
00:34:26,125 --> 00:34:27,625
Oh, I intend to.
708
00:34:28,791 --> 00:34:29,833
Good night.
709
00:34:29,916 --> 00:34:31,416
Wait.
710
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:33,750
[lighthearted music playing]
711
00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:36,875
-Who are you?
-Who are you?
712
00:34:36,958 --> 00:34:38,625
[Archer] Excuse me.
713
00:34:38,708 --> 00:34:42,041
No. No. You lot can't be here.
714
00:34:42,125 --> 00:34:44,791
-We just came for a drink, mate.
-I don't want any trouble.
715
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:47,500
He's asking you nicely.
716
00:34:47,583 --> 00:34:50,125
No trouble. You have my word.
717
00:34:50,208 --> 00:34:51,416
And I said no.
718
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:52,791
Leave.
719
00:34:52,875 --> 00:34:54,875
[whispers] Why is he kicking them out?
720
00:34:54,958 --> 00:34:56,083
[door slams open]
721
00:34:56,166 --> 00:34:58,500
-Good evening!
-[crowd gasping, murmuring]
722
00:34:58,583 --> 00:35:00,250
[whispers] Come with me.
723
00:35:00,333 --> 00:35:01,666
-As if.
-What?
724
00:35:02,875 --> 00:35:03,875
Oh, shit.
725
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:07,250
[guard] I said,
good evening, my good people.
726
00:35:07,333 --> 00:35:13,250
We have it on excellent authority
that a certain beast might be in here.
727
00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:14,916
Goes by the name of Archer.
728
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:22,000
He's wanted for robbery, arson, sedition.
729
00:35:22,083 --> 00:35:23,416
[quietly] Sedition. That's a new one.
730
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:25,333
[quietly] Well, I do try.
731
00:35:25,416 --> 00:35:27,000
[sniffs, spits]
732
00:35:27,958 --> 00:35:31,708
-[goblet bangs on table]
-Hunting scum makes me ever so thirsty.
733
00:35:33,458 --> 00:35:35,666
-[groans]
-[crowd gasping]
734
00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:40,500
Hand him over,
735
00:35:40,583 --> 00:35:45,041
or we dunk every last one of you.
736
00:35:48,375 --> 00:35:50,541
[quietly] What do you think?
You up for it?
737
00:35:50,625 --> 00:35:52,458
[quietly] Yeah, fuck it.
738
00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:56,041
Why don't you leave him alone,
you bunch of thugs?
739
00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,500
-I'm Archer.
-[crowd gasps]
740
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,500
Then you're coming with me.
741
00:36:02,583 --> 00:36:04,000
[suspenseful music playing]
742
00:36:04,083 --> 00:36:06,333
-[roaring]
-[crowd screaming]
743
00:36:06,416 --> 00:36:07,458
Right, let's go.
744
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:11,333
[roaring]
745
00:36:11,416 --> 00:36:12,500
[young man] Move!
746
00:36:17,166 --> 00:36:19,458
This door leads outside.
747
00:36:19,541 --> 00:36:21,000
-[guard] Kill that fucking bear!
-[people screaming]
748
00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:22,125
[growls]
749
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,416
[groans]
750
00:36:30,416 --> 00:36:32,666
[barking]
751
00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:36,041
[roaring]
752
00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:40,250
This is madness.
I never knew things were like this.
753
00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:42,291
You've never seen a bear in a bar before?
754
00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,333
Take them all!
755
00:36:44,416 --> 00:36:45,458
[groans]
756
00:36:47,583 --> 00:36:48,750
[grunts]
757
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:52,916
[screams]
758
00:36:56,458 --> 00:36:57,708
[groans]
759
00:36:57,791 --> 00:36:59,166
[hawk screeches]
760
00:37:00,208 --> 00:37:01,791
Hey.
761
00:37:01,875 --> 00:37:04,500
Hey, more guards are coming!
762
00:37:04,583 --> 00:37:05,666
Archer, Archer, they're here!
763
00:37:05,750 --> 00:37:07,500
Let's get out of here now!
764
00:37:07,583 --> 00:37:09,166
[Jane] Susannah!
765
00:37:09,250 --> 00:37:11,291
-Susannah?
-[Archer] Susannah, come on!
766
00:37:14,708 --> 00:37:17,958
[whispering] Last chance.
Come with me.
767
00:37:21,208 --> 00:37:22,958
No.
768
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:29,250
-What are you doing here?
-What are you doing here?
769
00:37:29,333 --> 00:37:30,500
Susannah, come on! Let's go!
770
00:37:30,583 --> 00:37:32,625
-I'm so sorry.
-So am I.
771
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:34,916
What have we here?
772
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,375
-Beast or maiden?
-[together] Maiden.
773
00:37:36,458 --> 00:37:37,791
A Verity maiden in britches?
774
00:37:37,875 --> 00:37:39,708
-I don't think so.
-Susannah, go!
775
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:41,958
[hawk chirps, screeches]
776
00:37:42,041 --> 00:37:44,000
Aiding and abetting Satan's spawn.
777
00:37:44,083 --> 00:37:45,333
That'll be exile for you.
778
00:37:45,416 --> 00:37:47,583
-Exile sounds fine, actually.
-Mm.
779
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,250
How about a nice dunking instead?
780
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:51,208
Take her away!
781
00:37:56,458 --> 00:37:57,458
[Edward] Eels.
782
00:37:59,958 --> 00:38:01,000
Yummy.
783
00:38:01,083 --> 00:38:03,500
[door creaks closed]
784
00:38:03,583 --> 00:38:05,291
-Shall we have a nibble?
-[barking]
785
00:38:08,875 --> 00:38:09,875
Your Majesty.
786
00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:11,083
[stammers] Ethian.
787
00:38:11,166 --> 00:38:14,000
Calm down and listen to me.
Your great-grandmother sent me here.
788
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:15,625
Oh, you liar,
my great-grandmother is dead.
789
00:38:15,708 --> 00:38:17,625
-[coughing] Guards!
-Is she?
790
00:38:17,708 --> 00:38:19,541
{\an8}Then who gave me this?
791
00:38:22,208 --> 00:38:24,125
The Bietso Cross.
792
00:38:24,208 --> 00:38:25,625
She was buried with it.
793
00:38:25,708 --> 00:38:28,375
No, she wasn't. She's alive.
794
00:38:28,458 --> 00:38:32,125
And she sent me here because she suspected
that you do not have the Affliction.
795
00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:34,000
And she was right.
796
00:38:34,083 --> 00:38:36,708
You are being poisoned.
797
00:38:36,791 --> 00:38:38,208
I can smell it in your food.
798
00:38:38,291 --> 00:38:39,958
I know, it's a lot to process.
799
00:38:41,250 --> 00:38:43,041
No, no, that actually explains a lot.
800
00:38:43,125 --> 00:38:46,333
-We must go to her. Now.
-But who is poisoning me?
801
00:38:46,416 --> 00:38:49,250
I don't know.
But we need to get you out of here.
802
00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:50,625
I...
803
00:38:51,958 --> 00:38:54,333
Sorry, do you have something
that I can wear?
804
00:38:54,416 --> 00:38:57,291
We're not normally so starkers
when we change,
805
00:38:57,375 --> 00:38:59,125
but I was, because... Oh.
806
00:38:59,208 --> 00:39:01,666
Do you know what? It's a long story.
I-I'll tell you about it some other time.
807
00:39:01,750 --> 00:39:03,875
-There's a robe just there.
-Cheers.
808
00:39:03,958 --> 00:39:08,000
[Author] At this moment,
Edward has two major revelations.
809
00:39:08,083 --> 00:39:10,500
One, the dog girl is telling the truth.
810
00:39:10,583 --> 00:39:15,750
And two, he is not interested
in women romantically.
811
00:39:15,833 --> 00:39:19,583
He always imagined girls look like men
without their clothes.
812
00:39:19,666 --> 00:39:24,250
Edward has led, let us remember,
a deeply sheltered life.
813
00:39:24,333 --> 00:39:29,250
Now, you get dressed,
and we will be off like a tart's knickers.
814
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:31,958
-I'm not going anywhere with you.
-What? Why not?
815
00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:34,708
Well, until about five minutes ago,
you were a dog.
816
00:39:34,791 --> 00:39:37,583
And I'm the King,
and someone is trying to kill me.
817
00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:39,625
I must find them
and punish them, obviously.
818
00:39:39,708 --> 00:39:41,125
-But...
-I have spoken.
819
00:39:41,208 --> 00:39:42,958
Granny will be most vexed.
820
00:39:43,041 --> 00:39:44,875
[knocking on door]
821
00:39:44,958 --> 00:39:46,666
[Edward] Come in.
822
00:39:51,750 --> 00:39:53,750
Not hungry, Your Majesty?
823
00:39:54,750 --> 00:39:57,166
No. Take it away.
824
00:40:08,333 --> 00:40:10,083
[doors close]
825
00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:13,708
Dearest Petunia,
I think you might have saved my life.
826
00:40:13,791 --> 00:40:15,125
[barks]
827
00:40:15,208 --> 00:40:16,583
[door opens]
828
00:40:16,666 --> 00:40:17,875
Good evening, Your Majesty.
829
00:40:17,958 --> 00:40:19,958
[dramatic music playing]
830
00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,291
[moaning]
831
00:40:28,875 --> 00:40:30,416
How's my baby brother?
832
00:40:31,750 --> 00:40:34,250
Weaker than a Sicilian's virtue.
833
00:40:35,458 --> 00:40:37,625
-And his Will for Succession is...
-Done.
834
00:40:37,708 --> 00:40:38,958
[cries in joy]
835
00:40:39,041 --> 00:40:40,500
[shushes]
836
00:40:40,583 --> 00:40:42,666
However... [grunts]
837
00:40:43,708 --> 00:40:45,583
However?
838
00:40:48,541 --> 00:40:49,916
Did something happen?
839
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,833
-No.
-Tell me what happened.
840
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:52,916
Nothing happened.
841
00:40:54,416 --> 00:40:56,916
You are the natural choice, pudding pie.
842
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,583
The entire Kingdom wants you
and you alone to succeed him.
843
00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:04,375
I will be Queen.
844
00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:10,041
And I will cleanse England
of Satan's beasts.
845
00:41:10,125 --> 00:41:11,791
Hmm.
846
00:41:11,875 --> 00:41:16,250
And I will not have any nasty surprises.
847
00:41:18,125 --> 00:41:20,333
-[girl screams]
-[man cries out]
848
00:41:20,416 --> 00:41:22,500
[Author] Ah, yes. A dunking.
849
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:26,333
Torture to force
a suspected Ethian to change.
850
00:41:27,458 --> 00:41:28,833
Or die.
851
00:41:28,916 --> 00:41:31,500
[water burbling]
852
00:41:31,583 --> 00:41:34,583
[crowd murmuring, shouting]
853
00:41:37,541 --> 00:41:39,375
[guard] Right! Who's next?
854
00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:40,875
-[water splashes]
-What about her?
855
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:42,416
What?
856
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,625
She helped one escape.
Might be a beast.
857
00:41:44,708 --> 00:41:46,000
No, I'm not Ethian.
858
00:41:46,083 --> 00:41:47,791
I'm... No, I'm not... Don't you...
859
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:49,625
[screams] No! No!
860
00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:51,041
No! Please, please.
861
00:41:51,125 --> 00:41:52,333
I won't change! I'll drown!
862
00:41:52,416 --> 00:41:53,791
[grunts] You're hurting me!
863
00:41:53,875 --> 00:41:55,250
That's the point, love.
864
00:41:55,333 --> 00:41:56,916
-[Frances] Stop!
-[horse neighs]
865
00:41:59,041 --> 00:42:01,416
That is Lady Jane Grey,
866
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:04,041
cousin to His Majesty King Edward,
867
00:42:04,125 --> 00:42:08,166
and I am ordering you
to cease drowning her immediately.
868
00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:09,541
[grunts]
869
00:42:14,541 --> 00:42:16,541
[horse neighs]
870
00:42:27,375 --> 00:42:29,666
I shall have those men flogged to death.
871
00:42:30,958 --> 00:42:35,583
[Author] It's as close as Frances
will ever get to saying "I love you."
872
00:42:36,750 --> 00:42:37,833
Mother, about the wedding.
873
00:42:40,750 --> 00:42:41,875
Please?
874
00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:46,333
Please don't make me marry him.
875
00:42:47,875 --> 00:42:49,875
I'll only say this once.
876
00:42:51,291 --> 00:42:56,208
If you don't marry
Guildford Dudley tomorrow,
877
00:42:56,291 --> 00:42:58,916
I shall be forced to marry
your sister Katherine
878
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,458
to the Duke of Leicester,
879
00:43:00,541 --> 00:43:02,666
toe and all.
880
00:43:02,750 --> 00:43:03,791
You wouldn't.
881
00:43:03,875 --> 00:43:05,500
Try me.
882
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,000
[gentle music playing]
883
00:43:18,791 --> 00:43:23,291
[Author] If only Jane could think of
another way out of her unwanted wedding.
884
00:43:23,375 --> 00:43:27,041
But her thoughts keep drifting back
to the tavern
885
00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:31,125
and that intriguing
yet infuriating young man.
886
00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:34,916
Not spending more time with intriguing
yet infuriating young men in taverns
887
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,041
was one of the chief injustices
of Jane's life.
888
00:43:38,125 --> 00:43:41,291
Her existence would be all injustice now.
889
00:43:41,375 --> 00:43:44,250
Marriage, motherhood, death.
890
00:43:44,333 --> 00:43:48,416
In quick succession,
if statistics are anything to go by.
891
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:51,291
Die, kitty, die! Beg for your life! Ha!
892
00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:52,416
Margaret, get out.
893
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:55,833
You know the servants hate it when
you get your fake blood on everything.
894
00:44:03,458 --> 00:44:07,166
Wait, come back. Margaret, come back.
895
00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:10,250
[♪ Alice Merton: "Vertigo"]
896
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:15,708
♪ Hands are sweaty, my heart beats heavy ♪
897
00:44:15,791 --> 00:44:19,416
♪ There's something out there,
I swear, I'm not ready ♪
898
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:23,708
♪ And I don't really know
where to go from here ♪
899
00:44:26,416 --> 00:44:30,041
♪ The sound's getting louder,
the floor starts shaking ♪
900
00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:32,125
♪ Everybody's feeling it ♪
901
00:44:32,208 --> 00:44:34,583
♪ Why can't I feel it, no? ♪
902
00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:37,750
Leave them wanting less.
903
00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:39,833
-♪ Oh ♪
-[vocalizing]
904
00:44:43,333 --> 00:44:44,750
{\an8}As you requested.
905
00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,750
{\an8}♪ All I can feel is ♪
906
00:44:46,833 --> 00:44:48,833
[vocalizing]
907
00:44:53,875 --> 00:44:57,416
♪ All I can feel is, feel is ♪
908
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:01,041
♪ All I can feel is vertigo ♪
909
00:45:01,125 --> 00:45:02,750
What?
910
00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:04,833
You'll do, I suppose.
911
00:45:05,916 --> 00:45:07,625
♪ Feet still hurting ♪
912
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:10,875
♪ I think I lost sight of
where I was going ♪
913
00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:16,041
♪ And I don't really know
where to go from here ♪
914
00:45:16,125 --> 00:45:22,000
♪ 'Cause all I can feel is vertigo ♪
915
00:45:22,083 --> 00:45:24,541
♪ Gotta get outta my head,
do something that I'll regret ♪
916
00:45:24,625 --> 00:45:26,791
♪ He's dancing now with someone he met ♪
917
00:45:26,875 --> 00:45:29,000
♪ Losing my sanity,
get rid of my vanity ♪
918
00:45:29,083 --> 00:45:32,250
♪ All I can feel is, feel is ♪
919
00:45:32,333 --> 00:45:36,583
♪ All I can feel is vertigo ♪
920
00:45:36,666 --> 00:45:39,958
♪ Caught inside of ♪
921
00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:44,000
♪ A dark night out ♪
922
00:45:44,083 --> 00:45:46,875
♪ Left me standing ♪
923
00:45:46,958 --> 00:45:51,291
-[song distorts and stops]
-♪ By myself ♪♪
924
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,291
[Author] Oh, yes.
925
00:45:55,375 --> 00:45:58,416
Frequenter of taverns, seeker of trouble,
926
00:45:58,500 --> 00:46:01,291
son of Lord Dudley and lust object
927
00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:03,916
of one Lady Jane Grey.
928
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,041
May I present Jane's husband-to-be,
929
00:46:07,125 --> 00:46:11,666
Lord Guildford Dudley.
930
00:46:11,750 --> 00:46:15,083
[Bishop] Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
931
00:46:15,166 --> 00:46:16,583
to witness the joining
932
00:46:16,666 --> 00:46:21,875
of Lady Jane Grey
and Lord Guildford Dudley
933
00:46:21,958 --> 00:46:25,958
in the sacred blessing of holy matrimony.
934
00:46:26,041 --> 00:46:27,833
Lord Guildford Dudley.
935
00:46:29,125 --> 00:46:30,125
What?
936
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,250
Oh, um...
937
00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:39,500
I, Guildford,
938
00:46:39,583 --> 00:46:41,833
take thee,
939
00:46:41,916 --> 00:46:44,291
Jane,
940
00:46:44,375 --> 00:46:45,916
to be my...
941
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:50,166
my...
942
00:46:55,291 --> 00:46:56,875
...my wedded wife.
943
00:46:58,166 --> 00:47:00,291
To have and to hold
944
00:47:00,375 --> 00:47:02,375
from this day forward.
945
00:47:03,916 --> 00:47:05,875
I plight thee my troth.
946
00:47:05,958 --> 00:47:08,458
[Bishop] And Lady Jane Grey.
947
00:47:08,541 --> 00:47:10,541
[gentle music playing]
948
00:47:12,625 --> 00:47:15,833
I... Jane...
949
00:47:17,208 --> 00:47:19,416
[quietly] You got a little... something.
950
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,041
[grunts softly]
951
00:47:25,416 --> 00:47:27,541
[coughs]
952
00:47:34,791 --> 00:47:37,250
[church bells ringing]
953
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,833
[sighs]
954
00:47:43,291 --> 00:47:45,333
[crowd gasping, murmuring]
955
00:47:45,416 --> 00:47:47,958
-Jane.
-It's the Affliction!
956
00:47:48,041 --> 00:47:50,041
[coughing]
957
00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:51,500
Your Majesty.
958
00:47:51,583 --> 00:47:52,916
Fetch Dr. Butts.
959
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,000
[♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"]
960
00:48:01,916 --> 00:48:05,291
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
961
00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:08,875
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
962
00:48:08,958 --> 00:48:11,500
{\an8}-♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪♪
-[song fades]
963
00:48:11,583 --> 00:48:12,708
[lively orchestral music playing]
964
00:48:12,791 --> 00:48:13,875
[Author] Well, well, well.
965
00:48:13,958 --> 00:48:15,750
So many questions.
966
00:48:15,833 --> 00:48:19,208
Will Jane marry
the notorious Guildford Dudley?
967
00:48:19,291 --> 00:48:24,125
Will King Edward be murdered
by his deranged sister Mary?
968
00:48:24,208 --> 00:48:25,500
I will be Queen.
969
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:29,125
-[Author] Will Susannah survive in exile?
-[bear roars]
970
00:48:29,208 --> 00:48:32,583
You'll find out,
because our story has only just begun.
971
00:48:32,666 --> 00:48:34,041
Tell me everything.
972
00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:37,916
[Author] And once Jane is stuck
in her insufferable marriage...
973
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,666
-I'm your Lord husband!
-Ha!
974
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,458
[Author] ...to the most infuriating...
975
00:48:41,541 --> 00:48:42,875
-I'll need a dagger.
-That's not a dagger.
976
00:48:42,958 --> 00:48:44,625
This is a dagger.
977
00:48:44,708 --> 00:48:46,791
[Author] ...and attractive man
she's ever met...
978
00:48:46,875 --> 00:48:48,083
-[groans]
-[cries out]
979
00:48:51,083 --> 00:48:53,291
-♪ Dear Mom, are you proud? ♪
-[♪ Andrew Michael Britton
& Lana McDonagh: "Famous Now"]
980
00:48:53,375 --> 00:48:56,083
[Author] ...and living in a world
fraught with danger...
981
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,375
Somebody at Court is poisoning me.
982
00:48:58,458 --> 00:48:59,875
[Author] ...and division...
983
00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:01,583
The entire Kingdom is at stake.
984
00:49:01,666 --> 00:49:03,333
-[soldiers chant]
-[Author] ...she realizes perhaps
985
00:49:03,416 --> 00:49:05,083
she doesn't know everything, after all.
986
00:49:05,166 --> 00:49:06,166
Bollocks.
987
00:49:06,250 --> 00:49:08,958
[Author] Just when life can't get
any more complicated...
988
00:49:09,041 --> 00:49:11,708
My Lady, His Majesty is dead.
989
00:49:11,791 --> 00:49:12,791
[gasps]
990
00:49:12,875 --> 00:49:15,000
[Author] ...Jane is named
Queen of England.
991
00:49:15,083 --> 00:49:16,583
Nothing's more important
than the monarchy.
992
00:49:16,666 --> 00:49:18,125
-Quite.
-Quite.
993
00:49:18,208 --> 00:49:19,583
Quite.
994
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:21,750
[screams]
995
00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:25,166
[Author] Now she's surrounded
by scoundrels,
996
00:49:25,250 --> 00:49:28,208
traitors, sycophants, reprobates, fools...
997
00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:30,750
-[yells]
-[grunts]
998
00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:32,375
-...murderers...
-Have fun getting yourself killed.
999
00:49:32,458 --> 00:49:33,458
I will, thank you.
1000
00:49:33,541 --> 00:49:36,166
...and worst of all, her mother.
1001
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:37,333
To me!
1002
00:49:37,416 --> 00:49:39,166
I do rather fancy mummykins.
1003
00:49:40,041 --> 00:49:41,666
-[moaning]
-[chuckling]
1004
00:49:41,750 --> 00:49:45,375
[Author] Ready for an epic tale
of true love and high adventure?
1005
00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:46,875
[Jane] The country wants to change.
1006
00:49:46,958 --> 00:49:48,666
-I could heal England.
-[crowd cheering]
1007
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:50,916
[people screaming]
1008
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,250
Sounds to me like you're giving up.
1009
00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:54,541
Oh, I've never given up
on anything in my entire life.
1010
00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:55,666
-Really?
-Really.
1011
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:56,750
Then prove it.
1012
00:49:57,916 --> 00:49:59,208
[Author] Of course you are.
1013
00:49:59,291 --> 00:50:00,375
Jane!
1014
00:50:00,458 --> 00:50:02,083
If you don't escape now, you'll die.
1015
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,208
Fuck that.
1016
00:50:03,875 --> 00:50:05,708
[Author] Settle in, my darlings.
1017
00:50:05,791 --> 00:50:08,083
This is My Lady Jane.
1018
00:50:08,166 --> 00:50:09,458
Come. The Kingdom awaits.
1019
00:50:09,541 --> 00:50:11,916
-♪ I'm famous now ♪♪
-[song ends]
1020
00:50:14,833 --> 00:50:17,833
{\an8}[♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"]
1021
00:50:29,166 --> 00:50:32,708
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
1022
00:50:32,791 --> 00:50:36,208
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
1023
00:50:36,291 --> 00:50:39,708
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
1024
00:50:43,083 --> 00:50:46,416
{\an8}♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
1025
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:50,250
{\an8}♪ She's not sure
if you're a boy or a girl ♪
1026
00:50:50,333 --> 00:50:53,791
{\an8}♪ Hey, babe, your hair's all right ♪
1027
00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:57,125
{\an8}♪ Hey, babe, let's go out tonight ♪
1028
00:50:57,208 --> 00:51:00,750
{\an8}♪ You like me, and I like it all ♪
1029
00:51:00,833 --> 00:51:04,208
{\an8}♪ We like dancing, and we look divine ♪
1030
00:51:04,291 --> 00:51:05,583
{\an8}♪ You love bands ♪
1031
00:51:05,666 --> 00:51:07,666
{\an8}♪ When they're playing hard ♪
1032
00:51:07,750 --> 00:51:11,208
{\an8}♪ You want more, and you want it fast ♪
1033
00:51:11,291 --> 00:51:14,833
{\an8}♪ They put you down, they say I'm wrong ♪
1034
00:51:14,916 --> 00:51:18,416
{\an8}♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪
1035
00:51:18,500 --> 00:51:22,041
{\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress ♪
1036
00:51:22,125 --> 00:51:25,541
{\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪
1037
00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:29,083
{\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, how could they know? ♪
1038
00:51:29,166 --> 00:51:32,291
{\an8}♪ Hot tramp, I love you so ♪
1039
00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:36,750
{\an8}♪ Don't ya? ♪
1040
00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:43,250
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
1041
00:51:43,333 --> 00:51:45,208
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo ♪
1042
00:51:45,291 --> 00:51:46,750
{\an8}♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪♪
1043
00:51:49,750 --> 00:51:51,375
{\an8}[song fades]
77717
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