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1
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[quirky music playing]
2
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[electronic beeping]
3
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,726
[woman] "Dear fellow Monk-ophiles,
4
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:18,977
as you can see,
5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,732
I have decided to redesign
the homepage… again!"
6
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,986
"As the greatest detective
in the universe would say,
7
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you'll thank me later."
8
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"Love to all, Marci."
9
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[quirky music continues]
10
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Bye-bye.
11
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,177
That's better.
12
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,555
Oh, Brian! Brian!
13
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[panting]
14
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,975
Victory is mine!
15
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,686
-Oh, man!
-Thought I had you.
16
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You almost did.
17
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Debbie?
18
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Debbie, honey.
19
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Brian's here.
We're gonna watch the Giants.
20
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Maybe she went out.
21
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No. Car's still here.
22
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Debbie?
23
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Oh, my God!
24
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Debbie!
25
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Debbie!
26
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Brian, call 911!
27
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[crying] Oh, baby!
28
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[quirky suspenseful music playing]
29
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Are you Marci Maven?
30
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Do you own a dog named Otto?
31
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You're damn right she does.
32
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That beast of yours killed my wife!
33
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I warned you about him!
34
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Mr. Ringel, please.
We'll take care of this.
35
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What's going on?
36
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There was an attack
37
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earlier today across the street.
38
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Oh, today? No, that-- that wasn't Otto.
39
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We're gonna have to take him in, ma'am.
40
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Where's the dog?
41
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[quirky suspenseful music continues]
42
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Yeah, I-- I really don't think it was him.
43
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["It's a Jungle Out There"
by Randy Newman playing]
44
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♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
45
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♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪
46
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♪ No one seems to care ♪
47
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♪ Well, I do ♪
48
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♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪
49
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♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
50
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♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪
51
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♪ You know what's in the water
That you drink? ♪
52
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♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪
53
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:52,338
♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪
54
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,465
♪ If you paid attention
You'd be worried too ♪
55
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:59,721
♪ You'd better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪
56
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,057
♪ Might just kill you ♪
57
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♪ I could be wrong now ♪
58
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♪ But I don't think so ♪
59
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,148
♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪
60
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,525
♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
61
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[Monk] Bachelor Auction? What?
62
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,701
Yeah, people bid for you.
63
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,286
It's fun. It's for charity.
64
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,287
[sighs loudly]
65
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Now this side's crooked.
66
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:26,998
When you're up for reinstatement,
67
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,207
it'll look good on your record.
68
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,542
Plus, it's for a good cause.
69
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,668
Police widows.
70
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,712
It's always the widows.
71
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,298
Why can't they just move on, you know?
72
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,093
Everybody's doing it.
The captain's doing it.
73
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,470
Don't you wanna be a team player?
74
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,387
No.
75
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,139
Don't you wanna appear
to be a team player?
76
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,349
Sure.
77
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,558
All right. How about this?
78
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,518
You give me 600 dollars.
79
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,937
When somebody bids on you,
80
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:49,896
I'll bid against them.
81
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:50,813
I'll outbid them.
82
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,317
You'll outbid them?
That's a good plan. That--
83
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:55,985
That's a great plan.
84
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,154
How do I get my money back?
85
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,822
No, you don't. It goes to charity.
86
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,532
Let's keep thinking.
87
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,909
[doorbell rings]
88
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:14,003
[doorbell rings insistently]
89
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,465
Oh, God!
90
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,175
[loud whisper] My God! Natalie!
91
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,343
[sighs loudly]
92
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:25,056
It's that girl, that… Marci Maven,
93
00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,225
my crazy fan.
94
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:35,650
Oh, hey, Marci.
95
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,277
Oh, Natalie, hello.
96
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,112
Uh, I need to speak with Adrian.
97
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,613
Oh, sorry, you just missed him.
98
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,864
He's, um…
99
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,159
uh… he's getting his hair cut.
100
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,578
I know he's here.
101
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,457
Okay, he left at 8:00.
He came back 35 minutes later.
102
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,084
And besides, he only gets his hair cut
103
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,294
every first and third Tuesday
of every month.
104
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,258
He's behind the door.
I can smell his shampoo.
105
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,093
Pantene for dry hair.
106
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,594
[sniffs]
107
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,555
Listen, I really need to speak with him.
108
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,140
It's important. I'm in trouble!
109
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,808
Yeah, that's what you said
last year, Marci.
110
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,601
You said it was a matter of life or death.
111
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,687
But when he got in the car,
you locked the door and tried
112
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,772
-to drive him to Corpus Christi.
-It was Thanksgiving!
113
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,733
What does that have to do with anything?
114
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,152
Listen. It's different this time.
115
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,737
My neighbor got killed!
116
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,363
They're blaming my dog.
117
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,533
-Somebody's framing my dog!
-Okay, Marci, then call the police.
118
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-I did. They don't believe me.
-Okay, Marci, Marci!
119
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-Sorry, can't help you.
-Oh!
120
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,415
Is she gone?
121
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:33,875
Yeah.
122
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,215
Oh! Hey, Adrian. It's me, Marci Maven.
123
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:45,636
Next up, Captain Leland Stottlemeyer.
124
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,765
Who wants to take
this handsome stud home, huh?
125
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,267
Captain Stottlemeyer plays guitar
126
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,311
and claims to be quite handy
127
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,437
around the house.
128
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,689
Do I hear 300 dollars?
129
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Three hundred dollars!
130
00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:01,986
Okay. Okay, here's 600--
131
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,739
but don't spend it all
if you don't have to.
132
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,032
[hostess] Do I hear 400?
133
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,575
[woman] Four hundred dollars!
134
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,160
[hostess] Four hundred going once--
135
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,870
Two thousand dollars!
136
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:14,207
I have 2,000 dollars.
137
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,292
-Going once, going twice--
-[laughs]
138
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,086
-[cheering]
-Sold to that very generous woman
139
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,253
in the leopard shirt.
140
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,839
-What are you doing?
-[woman] Kiss, kiss!
141
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,258
I am buying six hours with my man.
142
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,094
He hasn't left the office in two weeks.
143
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,137
-Well, that's a lot of money.
-Damn right.
144
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,806
So you had better be worth it.
145
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:30,807
-[hostess] Ladies…
-Hey.
146
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,684
…say hello to Randy Disher.
147
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,270
-[disco music on stereo]
-Born in San Diego,
148
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,648
now a homicide detective.
149
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,652
Enjoys home-cooked meals
and long walks on the beach.
150
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:43,611
Should I take this off?
151
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,322
Uh, no, that's-- Okay!
152
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:48,199
-[hostess laughs]
-[cheering]
153
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,284
[hostess] Do I hear 300 dollars?
154
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,494
Three hundred dollars!
155
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,080
-Three hundred dollars. How about 350?
-[woman] Three fifty!
156
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,581
-Four hundred.
-[woman 2] Four hundred!
157
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,667
-Four hundred, 450.
-[woman 3] Four fifty!
158
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,252
-[cheering]
-[woman 4] Six fifty!
159
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,962
-Seven fifty.
-[woman 5] Eight hundred!
160
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,672
Eight hundred and fifty dollars.
161
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,340
Eight hundred and fifty dollars.
162
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:05,383
Going once,
163
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,384
going twice…
164
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,387
Wrap this boy up. He's sold.
165
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,888
-[cheering]
-All right!
166
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,516
Thank you.
167
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,101
Hi, I'm Cameron Meyer.
168
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,519
Randy Disher.
169
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,020
Well, Ms. Meyer…
170
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,356
I guess you're the boss.
171
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,484
What'd you have in mind?
172
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,028
This is Sam.
173
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:27,947
He wants to be a policeman.
174
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,824
I thought I could just drop him off
175
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,367
and he could follow you around.
176
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:32,827
Yeah!
177
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,203
Yeah, sure. That'd be, uh--
178
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,288
That'd be great.
179
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,665
Well, this is gonna be
a lotta fun, huh? [laughs]
180
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,042
[hostess] Next on our program
181
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,211
is Mr. Adrian Monk.
182
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,131
[applause]
183
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,799
[hostess] Mr. Monk…
184
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,635
is a former homicide detective
185
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,472
now working as a private consultant.
186
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,558
He has worked on many famous cases.
187
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,643
[chuckles] Let's start the bidding
188
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,061
at 200 dollars.
189
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,605
Do I hear 200 dollars?
190
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,070
[woman] Uh…
191
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:12,491
Ladies, this is a world-class detective.
192
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,743
[melancholic music playing]
193
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,119
Uh, maybe you have a husband
194
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,539
or-- or a boyfriend who needs following.
195
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,336
Uh, maybe you can't find your car keys.
196
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:24,921
Two hundred dollars!
197
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,048
[quirky music playing]
198
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,258
-[hostess] I have an opening bid of 200.
-Two fifty!
199
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,594
[hostess] I have 250. Do I hear 300?
200
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,429
-Three hundred dollars!
-[hostess] Three hundred!
201
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,889
-Three fifty!
-[hostess] Three fifty!
202
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,933
Four hundred? Come on, ladies!
203
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,979
-Six hundred dollars!
-We have 600 dollars.
204
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,397
Six hundred and, uh--
205
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,315
Hold on, hold on!
206
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,151
Uh… 34 dollars and…
207
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,612
seventeen cents.
208
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,989
Eight hundred dollars.
209
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,242
[hostess] Eight hundred dollars!
210
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,452
Do I hear 850?
211
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,704
[quirky music continues]
212
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,331
Eight hundred going once--
213
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,041
Five thousand dollars.
214
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,545
[hostess] Mr. Monk,
you cannot bid on yourself.
215
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,671
Eight hundred going twice--
216
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,256
Wait, stop! No.
217
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,423
No, no, no. Okay.
218
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,300
Somebody?
219
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,429
Ah-- I'll do anything. I'll do anything.
220
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:17,682
Look.
221
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,646
Beefcake.
222
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,111
-Beefcake.
-[feedback]
223
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:34,115
Please. There was a restraining order.
224
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,659
-[hostess] Sold…
-[squeals]
225
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:37,577
[applause]
226
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,245
…to the very determined,
227
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,622
very mysterious girl in the green.
228
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,124
Okay.
229
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,418
Nice going. All righty.
230
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,878
Next. Okay.
231
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,387
Hello! Right on time, of course.
232
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:57,513
[chuckles]
233
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,182
It's okay. I'm right here.
234
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,351
Come in, come in, come in.
235
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,561
-[chuckles]
-No.
236
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,187
You can pick him up at six o'clock.
237
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,732
No, no. No, she's with me.
238
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,358
I can't do this alone.
239
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,362
Well, Adrian, I-- [scoffs] I bid on you.
240
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,449
I mean, I…
don't think we need a chaperone.
241
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,284
[chuckles] Six would be great.
242
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,912
Yeah, she's with me.
I can't do this alone.
243
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,708
Okay, fine. Good. The more the merrier.
244
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,169
I just-- I hope I made enough cookies.
245
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,506
Oh, I painted this for you
246
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,133
two years ago for your birthday…
247
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,051
[door closes]
248
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,178
…but, um, Judge Franklin
wouldn't let me give it to you
249
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,263
because of the restraining order.
250
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,557
You know, 50 yards away and…
251
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,767
no contact.
252
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,393
Jerk.
253
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,688
Oh, please, make yourselves at home.
254
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,731
Sit down.
255
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,233
I'm sorry I'm babbling.
I'm nervous, you know?
256
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,986
I've just been imagining this
for so long, you know?
257
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,905
You, Adrian Monk--
258
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,406
you're really here.
259
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,407
[chuckles]
260
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,618
Oh! So rude.
261
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,703
Here we go.
262
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,707
Summit Creek Water. It's his favorite.
263
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,209
I know.
264
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,628
Well, do you know
what his favorite drink was last year?
265
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:11,629
I do!
266
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,881
Sierra Springs. Mm.
267
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:17,385
Uh… ten ice cubes, of course.
268
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,220
And…
269
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,600
some cookies, fresh from the oven.
270
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,103
They're square.
271
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,396
[laughs]
272
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,606
I knew you would appreciate that.
273
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,817
Yeah, I've been baking all day…
and cleaning!
274
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,860
I wanted everything to be perfect.
275
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:36,612
Marci…
276
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,407
is this my glass?
277
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,451
Mmm. Not anymore.
You threw it out, remember?
278
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,494
[chuckles]
279
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,539
And yes, this is your rug.
And yes, that's your lamp.
280
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,582
And yes, these are your pants.
281
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,085
Don't worry.
282
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,503
Not crazy, just a fan.
283
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,754
[chuckles]
284
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,131
You are amazing.
285
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,425
But you know that, don't you?
286
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:00,970
His pants?
287
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,306
You know what I love?
I love how you solve cases.
288
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,852
The way you move around
and you-- you look at things,
289
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,813
and you-- you see things no one else sees.
290
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,440
I love that. I mean, you really--
291
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,317
you really are a great artist.
292
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:19,405
Well, a great artist,
I don't know about that--
293
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,491
[quirky music playing]
294
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,285
Is there a problem?
295
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,371
No, no, no, no. He's a great artist.
296
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,374
That's why I went to the auction.
297
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,293
Because I really am in trouble.
298
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,794
I need your help, you know?
299
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:35,629
[sighs]
300
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,590
So do you wanna talk about the case now
301
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,633
or should we just relax
for a little while?
302
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,761
W-what are the choices again?
303
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,388
Relax or talk about the case.
304
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,433
Yeah, relax! Let's just relax.
305
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,726
Plenty of time.
306
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,271
Five hours and 52 minutes.
307
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,314
[chuckles softly]
308
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:57,985
[Natalie whispering] Mr. Monk!
309
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:02,781
Excuse me.
310
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,412
[quirky music playing]
311
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,830
[whispering] Oh, my God.
312
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,875
Oh, my God.
313
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,425
[Marci] This is my favorite.
It-- it's from last summer.
314
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,594
See, what I do is
I read the articles about you
315
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:27,014
and then I make dioramas
of the various cases.
316
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,475
This one is "Mr. Monk and the Three Pies."
317
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,186
What?
318
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,980
When you went to see your brother.
319
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,482
That's what I call it.
320
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,193
Is that… me?
321
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,366
Adrian, should we call the captain?
322
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,326
[as Monk] Not yet, Marci.
323
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,870
We need to gather more evidence.
324
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,331
Natalie, get the car.
325
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,250
[as Natalie] On my way, Mr. Monk.
326
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,251
[Natalie] Is that me?
327
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,671
It's a troll doll.
328
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,381
Huh.
329
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,590
[as Monk] Marci…
330
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,676
I can't imagine life without you.
331
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,094
Oh!
332
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,972
[whispering] Adrian, I've waited so long--
333
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,181
Mar-- Mar-- Marci.
334
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,183
Hmm?
335
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,394
Marci, are you a musician?
336
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,020
[laughing] Oh!
337
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,273
You know I am!
338
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,276
I've only sent you all my demos.
339
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,444
Oh, I'm working on a song. Here.
340
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,362
[clears throat]
341
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,448
♪ There's a man in California ♪
342
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,534
♪ If you're ever in a funk ♪
343
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,040
♪ He may not be F. Murray Abraham ♪
344
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,418
♪ But I think he's a hunk ♪
345
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,463
♪ And his name is ♪
346
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:47,803
♪ Aaaaa… ♪
347
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,848
♪ Adrian ♪
348
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,850
♪ Yeaaaaah ♪
349
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:56,103
♪ Adrian ♪
350
00:14:56,186 --> 00:15:01,233
♪ I said ooh-Aaaaa… ♪
351
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,943
♪ Aaaaa-- ♪
352
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:03,986
[Monk] Mar-- Marci.
353
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:05,696
On second thought,
354
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,782
why don't you tell me about the case?
355
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,118
[gasps] Oh, okay.
356
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,246
I'm sorry. Can we start over?
357
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,583
You had a dog. His name was Otto.
358
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,626
[Marci] Yep, that's right.
359
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,753
And Otto died last week?
360
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:21,670
Monday, yeah.
361
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,631
Well, I-- I buried him Monday night.
362
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:27,426
So he's in the ground, dead.
363
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,344
Dead, dead dog.
364
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,554
And then three days later,
365
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,680
on Thursday,
366
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,224
the woman across the street was attacked?
367
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,142
By-- by a dog.
368
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,727
Yeah, she was mauled.
369
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,854
Isn't that the grossest word?
370
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,689
"Mauled." Mauled.
371
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,108
I mean, Otto had snapped at her last year,
372
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,485
but it wasn't a big deal.
373
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:47,071
But of course, you know,
the cops naturally think that he did it.
374
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,698
So they dug him up
to compare the teeth marks.
375
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,825
And they matched.
376
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,911
Well, that's what they say.
377
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:54,828
Yeah.
378
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,205
They're gonna return him tomorrow.
379
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,165
I guess I'm gonna have to bury him again.
380
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,583
So to recap…
381
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,127
dog dies on Monday,
382
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,254
then three days later,
kills your neighbor.
383
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,507
Pretty freaky, huh?
384
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,677
And the dog was definitely dead
when you buried him.
385
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:12,638
Yeah, the dog was definitely dead
when I buried him.
386
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,014
What do you think, I'm a nut?
387
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,058
Ah…
388
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,393
[Marci] What do you think, Adrian?
389
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,394
I stopped thinking
390
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,311
an hour and a half ago.
391
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,229
What do you think?
392
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,814
I think we should call the captain.
393
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:22,731
[Marci clears throat]
394
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,359
That's the men's room.
395
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,070
And… Hey.
396
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,196
This…
397
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,448
is my desk.
398
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,701
Lieutenant Disher.
399
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,542
Oh, check these out.
400
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,586
Real handcuffs. Wanna try 'em on?
401
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,300
So…
402
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,094
Sam,
403
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,012
how long have you, uh,
wanted to be a policeman?
404
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,639
I don't wanna be a cop.
405
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,474
But your mom said you did.
406
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,892
Maybe when I was nine.
407
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,854
How old-- how old are you now?
408
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,272
Nine and a half.
409
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,858
Who'd want to be a cop?
410
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,319
You don't make any money
and everybody hates you.
411
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,241
[sighs]
412
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,160
Okay.
413
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,039
Okay, so, uh, what do you wanna do?
414
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,208
We got some games and stuff,
I think, for when kids visit.
415
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:24,668
How about that?
416
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,586
Let's see.
417
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,130
No.
418
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,090
Ah, yeah, here we go.
419
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,091
How about this?
420
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,510
We got, uh, crayons.
421
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,387
Coloring book.
422
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,558
Hm. I did that one.
423
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,602
-I used to love this game.
-Hm. Timber.
424
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,270
Set it up.
425
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:48,567
[Stottlemeyer] I am looking
at the forensic report right now, Monk.
426
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,319
Your girlfriend's in a lot of trouble.
427
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,403
Yeah, she's--
428
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:53,781
she's not my girlfriend.
429
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,076
Look, the bite marks all match 100%.
430
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,285
It's as good as a fingerprint.
431
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,871
She says the dog was already dead.
432
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,792
Debbie Ringel was attacked by a dog
433
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,001
and it wasn't a ghost dog.
434
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,003
Here is a more likely scenario.
435
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,214
The dog kills the neighbor, Marci panics.
436
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,174
She has her own dog put down
437
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,426
and claims that he died
a couple of days earlier.
438
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,804
I don't know. I-- I don't know.
439
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,807
Animal control warned her
about Cujo at least twice,
440
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,141
which means she's responsible.
441
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,185
She could be indicted for manslaughter.
442
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,561
What she needs is a good lawyer
443
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,146
and you need to get the hell out of there.
444
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,648
Okay? Bye-bye.
445
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,108
Right.
446
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:30,776
Natalie.
447
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,070
[sighs]
448
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,696
Not like that.
449
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,658
Push it with your fingertips.
450
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,245
Now pull it from the other side over here.
451
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,206
-Yeah, yeah.
-All right.
452
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,207
That's how you do it.
453
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,708
-Having fun?
-Yeah.
454
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,168
You know.
455
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:50,170
If you need me,
456
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,506
I will be at the Four Seasons with Linda.
457
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,259
Do not need me. She'll kill me.
458
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,677
Okay, that's yours.
459
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,928
Have fun.
460
00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:58,846
Oh, Captain?
461
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,014
Have fun.
462
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,727
-Okay, I'm gonna go again.
-All right.
463
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,729
Push.
464
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,898
-Whoa, whoa.
-Okay, okay.
465
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,276
They think I killed Otto?
466
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,653
-Well, that would explain quite a bit.
-Makes a lotta sense.
467
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,113
No, I-- I don't do that, okay?
468
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,531
I don't kill things I love.
469
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,908
Well, that's reassuring.
470
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,244
[Marci] There must be another explanation.
471
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,412
Like what, Marci?
472
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,664
Like, I don't know.
I mean, you do it all the time.
473
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,500
The-- the police have a theory
and they think it's cut and dry,
474
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,420
and then you come in
and you-- you do your thing,
475
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,380
and you get clues and you figure it out.
476
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,716
You know, it's like
"Mr. Monk and the Astronaut."
477
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,302
Or "Mr. Monk and-- Goes Back to School."
478
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,386
Oh, remember that one?
479
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,597
No! Where are you getting these names?
480
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,932
Marci, according
to the forensic laboratory rep--
481
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,225
[Marci] Yeah, well, they're wrong.
482
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,811
Okay. They can make mistakes.
483
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,314
Maybe it was, uh, a frame-up.
484
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,024
[both laugh]
485
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,233
They framed your dog?
486
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,612
[imitating laughter] Yeah,
maybe they did frame my dog, Natalie.
487
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,530
It's not totally unprecedented.
488
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,741
What about "Mr. Monk and--
and the Panic Room"?
489
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,410
They tried to frame a monkey, didn't they?
490
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,537
See, things aren't always as they seem.
491
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,372
-That's true.
-Okay.
492
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,957
[Marci] We made a deal.
493
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,585
Okay? I spent 800 dollars for six hours.
494
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,920
I own you.
495
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,379
You have to do what I say.
496
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,925
[quirky suspenseful music playing]
497
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,762
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What if he's home?
498
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,847
There's no car in the driveway.
499
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,307
Worrywart.
500
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,308
Adrian.
501
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:31,772
You'll be the lookout.
502
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,190
I'm not the lookout.
503
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,401
That's where they found her-- in the shed.
504
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,823
He's doing it. That is so cool.
505
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,992
I've got goosebumps. I really do.
506
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,327
-You wanna see?
-No, thank you.
507
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,370
Bumpy.
508
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,497
You have the best job in the world.
509
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,706
[muttering] Not today, I don't.
510
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,583
Did you say something?
511
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,544
'Cause it sounded like you said something.
512
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,883
[quirky suspenseful music continues]
513
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:28,620
[quirky suspenseful music continues]
514
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:36,712
What?
515
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,798
Uh, she was attacked right here.
516
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,550
You can still see the blood.
517
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,970
But she must've tried to fight back.
518
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:45,887
Right?
519
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,140
Look at all these tools.
520
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:51,226
Why-- why didn't she grab
one of these tools?
521
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:53,395
[gasps]
522
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,646
What are you doing?
523
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,940
-Clue hug!
-No! Natalie!
524
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:59,234
-[Natalie] Marci!
-Ooh, right. Yes, go!
525
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,528
Keep going. You're amazing.
You're amazing. Do your thing.
526
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,741
[quirky suspenseful music playing]
527
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,585
[Natalie] What is that?
528
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,962
It's a flower petal.
529
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,299
[sniffs] Tulip?
530
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,352
There's no tulips in this yard.
531
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:35,729
[squeals]
532
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:38,940
That-- that's not a clue.
That-- that's just something I notice.
533
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,358
This is what we call an observation.
534
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,027
Okay, right.
535
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:43,445
[Ringel] Can I help you?
536
00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:46,865
Oh, it's you!
537
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:49,451
Why can't you just leave me alone?
538
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:53,038
Mr.-- Mr. Ringel,
I'm very sorry for your loss.
539
00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:56,083
Um, I wonder if I could ask you
a couple of questions.
540
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:59,753
Did you actually see
Marci's dog on that day?
541
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:01,713
We know it was her dog.
542
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:02,881
He crawled in under the fence.
543
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,091
You can still see the hole.
544
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,551
I talked to the cops.
All the teeth marks match.
545
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:07,928
And who the hell are you?
546
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,264
Um, this is Adrian Monk, okay?
547
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:13,892
-And he happens to be a genius.
-Yeah--
548
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,811
-Marci, don't-- don't--
-[Natalie] Marci, shh, shh.
549
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:16,978
If you have anything to hide--
550
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,855
and I have a hunch that you do--
551
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:19,815
he's gonna find it.
552
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,399
He's already found, like, a million clues.
553
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:22,317
-Tell him.
-Okay, okay.
554
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,486
Marci, let's just leave this man alone.
555
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,281
You did it! You killed her.
556
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:31,076
You are in big trouble, mister.
557
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:31,993
-Sorry.
-Big trouble--
558
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,036
-because…
-[Natalie] Marci!
559
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,914
Adrian Monk always gets his man, friend!
560
00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,624
Sir. Sorry about her. Sorry.
561
00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,919
Sorry about everything.
Sorry for your loss.
562
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:43,922
So sorry.
563
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,592
I-I-I did manage to…
564
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,053
get your tools
all straightened out, though.
565
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,557
This hose is kind of a mess, though.
566
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,891
You might wanna-- It's okay.
567
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:55,809
Not a--
568
00:23:58,436 --> 00:24:01,439
[suspenseful music playing]
569
00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:03,191
Natalie!
570
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,320
He said Natalie.
571
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,288
According to the police,
572
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:19,791
Otto dug this hole, attacked Mrs. Ringel,
573
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:21,585
then got out the same way.
574
00:24:21,668 --> 00:24:22,502
So?
575
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:24,546
Where's the dirt?
576
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:26,756
It's all on the other side.
577
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,175
But that's the wrong side.
578
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:31,052
When a dog digs a hole,
he pushes the dirt behind him.
579
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:32,387
And…
580
00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:34,139
look.
581
00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:38,685
-Dead…
-Tulip.
582
00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:43,690
It's possible.
583
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,193
There's a chance…
584
00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:48,320
she's not crazy.
585
00:24:48,403 --> 00:24:49,529
I mean, she's crazy…
586
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,699
but she might not be wrong.
587
00:24:55,994 --> 00:24:56,870
Clue hug?
588
00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:58,038
Take it like a man.
589
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:05,670
Uh, I need a wipe, Natalie.
590
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,047
Oh, oh!
591
00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:07,964
Hold on!
592
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:09,674
Right here. Here.
593
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,092
Oh, no! Use mine.
594
00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,011
They're monogrammed. They're better.
595
00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:14,429
I-- I did it myself.
596
00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:17,515
They're sanitary wipes.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose?
597
00:25:19,809 --> 00:25:22,187
Adrian, she's ruining everything.
598
00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:23,563
I mean, who is she?
599
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:26,399
I'm his assistant, okay?
I've been with him for three years.
600
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:28,735
Well, I've known him even longer, okay?
601
00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:30,278
Okay, here's a little news flash, Marci.
602
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,030
Stalking someone and knowing someone--
603
00:25:32,113 --> 00:25:33,448
-two different things!
-Excuse me.
604
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,201
Ladies, let's settle down.
605
00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:39,246
I think we might have
an actual murder on our hands.
606
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,705
Oh, woo-hoo!
607
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,499
Exactly. Woo-hoo.
608
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:46,002
Okay, let's just think for a minute, okay?
609
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:49,047
All right. Tell me about the dog.
610
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:50,257
How did he die?
611
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:52,676
Kidney failure. He went really quickly.
612
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:56,096
And before he passed,
did anything unusual happen?
613
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,682
Oh, yes!
614
00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:01,351
About two weeks ago,
he disappeared for a whole day.
615
00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:03,228
I couldn't find him. I was worried sick.
616
00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:04,771
I was putting up posters everywhere.
617
00:26:04,854 --> 00:26:06,856
And then around six o'clock,
he just showed up.
618
00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:10,402
A-- and you have no idea where he was?
619
00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:11,319
No.
620
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,113
He was covered in woodchips, though.
621
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:14,155
Is that important?
622
00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,991
It took me an hour to brush it out.
623
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,075
You still have the brush?
624
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:18,118
The brush?
625
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:20,412
[laughing] Please.
626
00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,122
Actually, that's a good idea.
627
00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:23,123
I'll get it.
628
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:31,089
[suspenseful music playing]
629
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:34,342
It's teak.
630
00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:41,266
Mahogany.
631
00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:43,601
Lumber yard.
632
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:45,937
Oh, no.
633
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,606
We have to now. It's tradition.
634
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:49,774
[grunts]
635
00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:01,870
[man] Can I help you?
636
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:02,996
This is Adrian Monk.
637
00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:05,040
He's gonna be asking you some questions.
638
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:06,416
What about?
639
00:27:06,499 --> 00:27:08,460
You'll find out. First,
there are some ground rules.
640
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,712
No coughing, no sneezing.
You will not shake his hand.
641
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,006
You will not make small talk.
Do you understand?
642
00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:15,633
Lower that sleeve
so it's even with the other one.
643
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,052
He's very particular.
644
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:27,437
Yes.
645
00:27:31,191 --> 00:27:32,734
Have you seen this dog?
646
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,277
No.
647
00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:36,112
Thank you.
648
00:27:38,198 --> 00:27:40,825
That is four lumber yards down, one to go.
649
00:27:40,909 --> 00:27:41,868
How am I doing?
650
00:27:41,951 --> 00:27:43,078
Not bad, actually.
651
00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:45,330
Well, if you ever need an assistant--
652
00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:46,539
Well, I have Natalie.
653
00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:48,458
Well, maybe it's time for a change.
654
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:50,877
Well, Natalie and I have been
together for three and a half years,
655
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,754
-so I don't thi--
-I'll work for free.
656
00:27:57,342 --> 00:27:58,176
What?
657
00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:00,512
[quirky music playing]
658
00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:01,805
You're considering it?
659
00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:03,473
Well…
660
00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:04,933
you know…
661
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:06,351
free.
662
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:07,519
[Natalie] So?
663
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,438
You wanna make a counter offer?
664
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,190
Yeah, here's my counter offer.
665
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:13,400
I'm not nuts!
666
00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:16,778
You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.
667
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:18,530
It ju-- It's her!
668
00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:20,031
I get so flustered.
669
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,324
Mr. Monk, you're not flustered.
670
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:22,450
You're flattered.
671
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:23,618
Who wouldn't be?
672
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:24,786
She adores you.
673
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:26,663
She knows everything about you.
674
00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:28,540
After all, you're only human.
675
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:30,458
There's no need for name-calling.
676
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,419
You know what?
677
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:33,878
On second thought…
678
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:35,922
I think it's a great idea.
679
00:28:36,005 --> 00:28:36,840
What are you doing?
680
00:28:36,923 --> 00:28:38,091
Calling a cab. I'm going home.
681
00:28:38,174 --> 00:28:39,801
-What?
-I'm glad this happened, actually.
682
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:42,679
That woman is as obsessive
and compulsive as you are.
683
00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:43,972
I want you to see what it's like.
684
00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:44,889
Go ahead.
685
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:46,599
Hang out with her, work with her.
686
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:48,518
I'll call you tomorrow.
We'll compare notes.
687
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:57,235
Oh, it's for the best, boss.
688
00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:02,198
-Last weekend was my fault.
-Hmm.
689
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:04,159
And the weekend before that?
690
00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:05,326
That one…
691
00:29:07,745 --> 00:29:10,081
-Okay, that was my fault too.
-Mm-hmm.
692
00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:13,001
Look, I've got two detectives
on sick leave.
693
00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:14,294
I have been swamped.
694
00:29:14,377 --> 00:29:17,839
Well, what does a girl have to do
to get your attention, Captain?
695
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:18,965
Kill someone?
696
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:20,967
[both chuckle]
697
00:29:22,385 --> 00:29:24,721
[cell phone rings]
698
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:28,975
I'm not gonna answer it.
699
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:34,189
It is… in the briefcase.
700
00:29:35,398 --> 00:29:39,068
It's in the briefcase
and the briefcase is locked.
701
00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:43,406
Now…
702
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:45,783
where were we?
703
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:46,784
[sighs]
704
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,369
[laughs]
705
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,496
[Disher] Mm-hmm.
706
00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:50,497
[whispering] Okay.
707
00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:52,791
Fingertips.
708
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:55,335
Lieutenant, we caught a break
on that Chinatown thing.
709
00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:56,711
Okay. Give it to Kramer.
710
00:29:56,794 --> 00:29:57,962
Tell him I'm busy.
711
00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,798
I am Kramer.
712
00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,090
[Disher] Mm-hmm.
713
00:30:02,383 --> 00:30:03,218
Yeah.
714
00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:11,601
[bell rings]
715
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:19,567
[bell rings]
716
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:27,408
[Monk] It's John Ringel.
717
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,661
That's the guy. That's the husband.
718
00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:32,247
Oh, yeah, he owns a lumber yard.
719
00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:34,666
I forgot.
720
00:30:34,749 --> 00:30:35,959
You forgot?
721
00:30:36,042 --> 00:30:37,085
How could you forget?
722
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:39,337
We've been checking lumber yards all day!
723
00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:41,130
Sorry, I wasn't thinking.
724
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:42,590
I'm not a perfect person.
725
00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:46,636
I need a hug.
726
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,012
No, no more hugs.
727
00:30:49,138 --> 00:30:50,765
Sorry, I was just closing up.
728
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,017
Not you again.
729
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,394
My dog was here.
730
00:30:54,477 --> 00:30:56,855
You kidnapped my dog two weeks ago!
731
00:30:56,938 --> 00:30:58,940
You really are certifiable, aren't you?
732
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:00,400
I told you to stop harassing me,
733
00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:01,317
but that's it.
734
00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:04,237
I'm gonna call my lawyer
and then I'm calling the cops.
735
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,992
[suspenseful music playing]
736
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:12,328
Let's just get outta here.
737
00:31:13,454 --> 00:31:15,081
I think he's bluffing.
738
00:31:15,164 --> 00:31:16,124
He's bluffing.
739
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:20,378
What is it?
740
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,216
It's chew marks.
741
00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:29,429
Look!
742
00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:32,890
[gasps] Otto!
743
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:36,352
You are amazing!
744
00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:37,729
What do you wanna call this case?
745
00:31:37,812 --> 00:31:39,397
I don't know! Shut up.
746
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,691
How about "Mr. Monk is Friggin' Awesome"?
747
00:31:41,774 --> 00:31:43,943
How about "Mr. Monk and Marci:
The Adventure Begins"?
748
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:47,530
It doesn't matter.
Nobody cares about the name.
749
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:48,823
Just shut it.
750
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:52,660
[Marci, quietly] Fine.
751
00:31:54,495 --> 00:31:55,705
Monogrammed wipe.
752
00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:06,382
Plaster mold?
753
00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:09,302
"Do not ingest."
754
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:14,307
Marci…
755
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:18,478
Marci, when Otto died,
did you tell anyone?
756
00:32:19,854 --> 00:32:20,688
No.
757
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,402
[whispering] Oh, my God.
758
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:28,988
No, don't turn!
Don't-- don't-- don't turn around.
759
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:32,533
I think you were right.
760
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:33,993
He's the guy.
761
00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:35,662
[squeals]
762
00:32:35,745 --> 00:32:37,330
And I know how he did it.
763
00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:38,665
Oh, my gosh.
764
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:40,375
Say, "Here's what happened."
765
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,752
He must've been planning this for weeks!
766
00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:44,837
That's-- Say, "Here's what happened"!
767
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,047
Shh.
768
00:32:46,130 --> 00:32:47,590
Here's what happened.
769
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:52,261
John Ringel realized
he could murder his wife
770
00:32:52,345 --> 00:32:54,514
and blame it on your dog.
771
00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:56,265
Nobody would ever question it.
772
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:59,060
Everybody knew Otto was a little wild.
773
00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:01,562
-[Marci squeals]
-[Monk] Marci, what are you doing?
774
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,523
There's no hugging
during the "Here's what happened."
775
00:33:03,606 --> 00:33:04,774
[Marci squeals] Sorry, go on.
776
00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:06,025
[Monk] Just stand over there.
777
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:09,612
That day Otto disappeared,
778
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:11,781
Ringel must've brought him here,
779
00:33:11,864 --> 00:33:13,199
drugged him,
780
00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:15,910
and made an impression of his teeth.
781
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:18,079
[Marci] Oh, poor Otto!
782
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,708
[suspenseful music playing]
783
00:33:24,752 --> 00:33:26,379
[Monk] Then Ringel built a lethal weapon
784
00:33:26,462 --> 00:33:28,589
using the mold of Otto's teeth.
785
00:33:29,382 --> 00:33:30,883
It couldn't have been too hard.
786
00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,844
After all, he owns a lumber yard.
787
00:33:32,927 --> 00:33:35,013
He had all the equipment he needed.
788
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:41,019
[clanking]
789
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,688
Then he waited.
790
00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:46,399
He was in no rush.
791
00:33:46,482 --> 00:33:49,026
One week, two weeks,
792
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:51,154
until finally, she was alone.
793
00:33:51,237 --> 00:33:52,613
-[groans]
-[thud]
794
00:33:58,327 --> 00:34:01,122
He knew the bite marks
would match up perfectly.
795
00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,750
The cops-- everyone--
would assume it was your dog.
796
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:08,045
It was a perfect crime,
except for one thing.
797
00:34:09,797 --> 00:34:11,632
He had waited too long.
798
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,469
He didn't know that Otto
had died three days earlier.
799
00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:17,054
He was framing a dead dog!
800
00:34:18,014 --> 00:34:19,307
Wow.
801
00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:21,434
That is incredible!
802
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:23,936
Where did he go?
803
00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:26,022
[Marci] Do it one more time
for the website.
804
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:28,316
What are you doing?
I'm not gonna say it again.
805
00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:29,734
You don't have to do the whole thing.
806
00:34:29,817 --> 00:34:31,402
Just say how you know
how he killed his wife.
807
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,071
Marci, would you keep your voice down?
808
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:34,447
He's gonna hear us.
809
00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:36,157
[Ringel] Too late.
810
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,076
-[gun cocks]
-I already heard ya.
811
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:46,167
[tense music playing]
812
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,168
Shut up…
813
00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:49,087
and don't move.
814
00:34:50,713 --> 00:34:51,547
Shoot him.
815
00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:53,091
I don't have a gun.
816
00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:55,301
You did in "Mr. Monk
and The Dragon's Lair."
817
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:56,761
The what?
818
00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:58,930
Oh, wait. I made that one up.
819
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,765
It's called "fan fiction."
820
00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:02,016
I said…
821
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,810
shut up!
822
00:35:03,893 --> 00:35:06,104
Agh! Son of a bitch!
823
00:35:13,569 --> 00:35:14,570
[Linda] Mmm.
824
00:35:15,571 --> 00:35:16,948
Mm. Mm.
825
00:35:20,868 --> 00:35:21,911
What is it?
826
00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:25,498
[chuckling] Leland,
this is not very romantic.
827
00:35:26,415 --> 00:35:27,959
What are you looking at?
828
00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:29,293
Bite marks.
829
00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:31,295
Oh--
830
00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:32,839
I'm afraid to ask.
831
00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:36,843
Look at the bite marks.
832
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:38,719
That woman was…
833
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,429
-attacked by a dog.
-[scoffs]
834
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,391
-Look at the bite marks, they're all--
-No, thank you, I--
835
00:35:43,474 --> 00:35:44,809
They're all upside down.
836
00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,812
Even the defensive ones.
837
00:35:51,774 --> 00:35:52,692
Um…
838
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,821
-I gotta make a phone call.
-Oh.
839
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:04,954
[phone rings]
840
00:36:05,037 --> 00:36:06,038
Mr. Monk?
841
00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:08,249
[Stottlemeyer]
No, it's me. I'm trying to find him.
842
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:13,045
[phone rings]
843
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:19,677
Disher.
844
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,263
[Stottlemeyer]
Randy, meet me at 420 Vinton Street.
845
00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:24,473
It's a lumber yard.
It's owned by John Ringel.
846
00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:25,516
Chop chop.
847
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,475
Who's John Ringel?
848
00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:28,811
As of ten minutes ago,
he's a murder suspect.
849
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:31,230
Monk is there now.
I think he might be in trouble.
850
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:32,315
I'm on my way.
851
00:36:35,192 --> 00:36:36,944
Are you still playing that stupid game?
852
00:36:37,987 --> 00:36:38,863
Randy?
853
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:40,573
Randy?
854
00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:42,992
No.
855
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:47,663
[suspenseful music playing]
856
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:01,969
Ooh. [gasps]
857
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,262
What is this?
858
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:05,014
Is this blood?
859
00:37:05,097 --> 00:37:05,932
Shh.
860
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:06,849
You've been shot.
861
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,601
[gasps] Oh, my God! I've been shot!
862
00:37:08,684 --> 00:37:09,727
Shh. It's okay.
863
00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:10,728
It's just a scratch.
864
00:37:10,811 --> 00:37:11,979
What am I doing here?
865
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,189
Shut-- shut up.
866
00:37:13,272 --> 00:37:15,441
This isn't fun anymore.
Why did you bring me here?
867
00:37:15,524 --> 00:37:17,693
I didn't bring you here!
868
00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:19,403
I don't wanna do this. I hate this.
869
00:37:19,487 --> 00:37:21,155
-What are you doing?
-Excuse me. Pause.
870
00:37:22,531 --> 00:37:25,618
Pause, please.
If we could just put a pause on this…
871
00:37:26,118 --> 00:37:27,203
for a second.
872
00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:29,288
Uh, I wanna go home.
873
00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:30,539
And I know,
874
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:32,959
but I-- I am absolutely
not gonna say anything
875
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,752
about you killing your wife.
876
00:37:34,835 --> 00:37:36,254
Uh-- no biggie.
877
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,880
I mean, she was asking for it.
878
00:37:37,964 --> 00:37:39,090
I've seen her out there.
879
00:37:39,173 --> 00:37:40,007
I'm your neighbor.
880
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:42,093
I've seen her in the garden
with her flower pot
881
00:37:42,176 --> 00:37:45,596
going blah, blah, blah,
"My gardenias are awesome."
882
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,514
[chuckles softly]
883
00:37:47,139 --> 00:37:48,557
So I'm just gonna go.
884
00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:50,268
Yeah, I don't think so!
885
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:51,185
[whimpers]
886
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,187
Monk!
887
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:55,481
Come on out!
888
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:57,608
I have your girlfriend!
889
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,986
I'm not his girlfriend.
I don't even like him anymore.
890
00:38:02,321 --> 00:38:03,155
Monk?
891
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,701
Come out or I'll kill her.
892
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:09,120
[Monk] Okay, right here.
893
00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:20,256
Natalie, stay back.
894
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:24,010
[suspenseful music continues]
895
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,482
[Ringel] Where's your car, Marci?
896
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:39,525
[Marci] Out front.
897
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:41,068
I hope you have a full tank.
898
00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,487
We got a long trip ahead of us.
899
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,865
Listen. I have to sit in the front.
It's one of my things.
900
00:38:46,365 --> 00:38:48,200
Yeah, he's got a million "things."
901
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,328
I don't know what I was thinking.
902
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:53,831
[Stottlemeyer] SFPD! Drop the weapon!
903
00:38:53,914 --> 00:38:55,916
[gunshots]
904
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,959
[groans]
905
00:38:58,586 --> 00:38:59,837
Go, go, go!
906
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,422
Go, go, go, go!
907
00:39:03,966 --> 00:39:05,217
Where is he?
908
00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:06,510
I can't get a shot.
909
00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:08,721
Go around.
910
00:39:08,804 --> 00:39:09,764
Go around!
911
00:39:25,988 --> 00:39:28,991
[quirky suspenseful music playing]
912
00:39:41,837 --> 00:39:42,963
What are you doing?
913
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:55,267
-[thud]
-Oh!
914
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:57,186
[groans]
915
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:01,774
[quirky suspenseful music continues]
916
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,735
-Let me see your hands!
-[groans]
917
00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:05,653
Let's see 'em.
918
00:40:11,575 --> 00:40:12,493
[groans]
919
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:13,411
[grunts]
920
00:40:18,457 --> 00:40:19,625
Stupid game, huh?
921
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:27,174
[Natalie] What is it?
922
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:29,927
Oh, it's-- it's from Marci.
923
00:40:31,303 --> 00:40:32,221
"Adrian, I'm sorry."
924
00:40:32,304 --> 00:40:34,140
"I can't have your things
in my house anymore."
925
00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:37,852
"How would I ever explain them
to 'Fmurray' Abraham?"
926
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:40,146
F. Murray Abraham. The actor.
927
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:42,148
May God have mercy on his soul.
928
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:44,692
Uh… Your pants are back.
929
00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:47,111
I'd already thrown this stuff out.
930
00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:48,779
Oh, hey. Look.
931
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:50,406
It's you.
932
00:40:50,489 --> 00:40:51,490
[Natalie gasps]
933
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:54,201
[imitating Marci] Oh, Adrian,
I adore you. Aren't you amazing?
934
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,870
I love everything you say and do.
935
00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:56,996
All right.
936
00:40:57,079 --> 00:40:58,289
It wasn't like that.
937
00:40:58,372 --> 00:40:59,498
[as Monk] Thank you, Marci.
938
00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:00,958
I think you have excellent taste.
939
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:02,543
How would you like to be my new assistant?
940
00:41:02,626 --> 00:41:03,544
You could follow me around
941
00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:05,421
-and worship me all day.
-Cut it out, will you?
942
00:41:05,504 --> 00:41:08,007
[as Marci] And let's seal
the deal with a great big clue hug.
943
00:41:08,090 --> 00:41:09,675
Clue hug! Clue hug!
944
00:41:09,758 --> 00:41:11,385
-Clue hug!
-Stop-- stop it.
945
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,262
Oh, I love you. I'm your biggest fan.
946
00:41:13,345 --> 00:41:14,722
I just want a little clue hug!
947
00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:16,307
Natalie, cut it out. I know it's you.
948
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:17,766
Clue hug, clue hug.
949
00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:25,733
[theme music playing]
63247
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