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1
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,329
(LET ME TAKE OVER PLAYING)
2
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,482
(HORNS HONKING)
3
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,409
Buy 12 at market, unload four at 90,
dump the rest on Friday.
4
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,007
Now don't burn me, Albert.
I'm on the line here.
5
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,963
Ten is break-even. I say 12.
6
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,841
Right. Nothing's impossible, Albert.
7
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,201
Impossible just takes
a couple extra phone calls.
8
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,606
- We're standing still here, Eliot.
-Yes, Mr. Ireland.
9
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,881
I don't like to stand still.
10
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,004
Anne, let me tell you what I need,
flawless clarity, F-color or better.
11
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,491
Fifteen, 20 carats.
12
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,722
Just what you'd want
if I were buying it for you.
13
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,326
Well, I'm rather fussy.
14
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:29,961
DOUG: Cute.
15
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,243
A little young.
Will you show me their parents?
16
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,206
Nice.
17
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,241
- Morning, Mr. Ireland.
-Morning, Charlie.
18
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,764
- MAN: Hello, Mr. Ireland.
-Hey.
19
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,881
- Good morning, Mr. Ireland.
-Good morning, Nora.
20
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,849
- Good morning.
-Morning.
21
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,891
Nice to see you, Mr. Ireland.
22
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,962
I won't need that giraffe
for about a half an hour.
23
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,684
- Take it out for a walk.
-Very good, sir.
24
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,320
(SNAPS FINGERS)
25
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,126
- Gloria, they're for you. I hope you like them.
-(GASPS)
26
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,049
Oh.
27
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,686
They're beautiful.
28
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,322
- Thank you so much.
-You like them, babe?
29
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,808
You're a doll. You're a great big Iovable doll.
30
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:18,961
GENE: Yeah? Yeah.
31
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,361
- Mr. Salvatore has exquisite taste.
-GENE: Huh?
32
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,602
Oh, oh. Thank you, uh, Dougie. Here you go.
33
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,604
Listen, it rained all weekend,
so make sure you give them a good workout.
34
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,401
(STAMMERS) I'll take care of it myself, sir.
I have a way with animals.
35
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,450
Dougie, are you the guy
to talk to about them things?
36
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,043
Them things, Mr. Salvatore?
37
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:39,409
- Yeah, you know. Them things on the pillow.
-Uh,haH?
38
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,606
GLORIA: Genie, get some more
of them things!
39
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,681
Yeah, all right!
40
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,970
You know, them things on the pillow.
41
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,487
Initials.
42
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,841
Them things at night!
43
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,846
On the pillow!
44
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,087
- Mints! Pillow mints!
-Yeah! Yeah!
45
00:04:56,160 --> 00:05:00,131
- Them things. We like them.
-Yes, of course. Why didn't I think?
46
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,202
Stupid. Yes. How many would you like?
47
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,004
- How many? A lot.
-GLORIA: A lot!
48
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,650
A lot, it shall be.
49
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,565
- You're a beautiful kid.
-Enjoy your stay at the Bradbury.
50
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,128
- You're a doll.
-You're a doll.
51
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,370
No, you're a doll.
52
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,289
- Easy, easy. Yo, yip. Come.
-(BARKING)
53
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,561
- Make sure they make!
-Right. Make.
54
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,281
(DOUG GRUNTS)
55
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,491
So, you guys planning
on seeing any shows while you're in town?
56
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,011
-(WHINING)
-(BARKING)
57
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,764
AII right. Okay.
58
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,921
This is Steak Diane.
You guys don't eat this, I will.
59
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,884
You eat all that up, you can have
some of them things when you're done.
60
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,445
- Come on, man. I'm open, I'm open.
-Pass! There it is!
61
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,363
Jump! Score! Yes, yes!
62
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,487
Whoo!
63
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,803
- Carmen, Carmen. Ambulate the canines.
-What?
64
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,123
- Take the dogs for a walk.
-Oh, of course, Mr. Ireland.
65
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,566
(SIGHS)
66
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,570
Ten dollars, Mr. Ireland?
67
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,850
Funny, I, uh, thought this was the Bradbury,
but it must be Fat Harry's Motor Lodge.
68
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,726
Carmen, one day,
you're gonna be a great concierge.
69
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,805
In the meantime,
go get the biggest plastic bag you can find.
70
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,882
- And don't make fun of her hair.
-(WHINES)
71
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,011
Those things aren't candy, Douglas.
72
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,246
I'm not gonna eat them all, ma'am.
73
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,209
Can I get change for that?
I'm in kind of a hurry.
74
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,125
Now let's see.
75
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,130
58 cents out of $100.
76
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,486
It's $99.42.
77
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,570
A whiz kid. Let's just be sure.
78
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,287
- Could you just...
-Uh, $99.42.
79
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,641
Does that look right to you?
80
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,451
You know, anywhere in that ballpark
is gonna be fine.
81
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,760
I'm not fussy.
82
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,444
$19.42.
83
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,726
$99.42.
84
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:09,921
(CHUCKLES)
85
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,241
You know why I said $19.42?
86
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,762
(LAUGHS) You were trying to cheat me
out of 80 bucks.
87
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:19,250
(LAUGHS) Iwas married in 1942.
88
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,288
You know, I read that in the Iibrary.
89
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,689
-(LAUGHING)
-(REGISTER RINGS)
90
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,403
I was a war bride.
91
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,528
- Those were horrible, frightening days.
-The war.
92
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,882
No, living with Mr. Vigusian.
93
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,726
-(COINS CLATTERING)
-(EXCLAIMS)
94
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,691
- Just a minute.
-(GROANS)
95
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,686
Yes, if he hadn't fallen
off the Staten Island ferry,
96
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,567
Irving and I would now be married 50 years.
97
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:51,250
I said, "Irving, get away from the rail!"
98
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,041
Dougie?
99
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,481
Airport?
Take the 59th Street Bridge definitely.
100
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,083
Look, Ahmed, I'm rather skeptical.
101
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,924
It's just that the last belly dancer you sent me
102
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,724
wasn't quite as slender
as I would have hoped.
103
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,486
No, the word "belly" could have applied
to any part of her anatomy.
104
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,650
It's not possible.
105
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,882
DOUG: Ahmed. Ahmed, you're shrieking.
106
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,686
(MUMBLING)
107
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,046
I have an open mind, Ahmed.
It's just that a dancer should have legs.
108
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,724
Doug! Doug!
109
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,801
(WHISPERING) Do something!
110
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,520
Okay, Ahmed, I'II tell you what.
Bottom line here.
111
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,967
You don't start treating me right,
I'm taking my business to Gemal.
112
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,566
Yeah, I'm aware of the blood feud, Ahmed.
I don't care.
113
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,926
Assalam-alaikum.
114
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,001
Milton.
115
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,207
Milton, the Ringos have been
in their room for an hour.
116
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,441
We want it done right.
117
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,204
I keep telling you, two trips if you have to.
118
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,011
These people do not have the time
to wait for you to build the pyramids.
119
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,125
Milton Glickman has never
made two trips in his life and never will.
120
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:54,127
The Duchess of Windsor, 1948,
41 pieces, one trip.
121
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,045
John Barrymore, 1941,
122
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,361
38 pieces including Mr. Barrymore...
123
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,807
BOTH: Drunk as a lord, one trip.
124
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,962
The Who, 1975...
125
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,202
Just get the bags to the room
before they check out.
126
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,080
167 pieces. One trip.
127
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,807
I spoke to the union. You were wrong.
128
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,724
I am allowed to fire that senile old idiot.
129
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,643
Really? I didn't...
130
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,087
Did you speak to Miss Tantorelli
at the Brooklyn office because...
131
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,401
I want him out.
132
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,007
Look, Mr. Himmelman, you can't fire Milton.
He's been here forever.
133
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,004
A hotel is more
than just facilities and amenities. It's...
134
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,367
Are you trying to tell me how to run a hotel?
135
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,966
No, sir. No, nein. Iwould never do that.
136
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,681
I'm just saying
that the Bradbury's like a family.
137
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:41,209
It's a place where you have an eccentric
old bellhop or a hotel manager that charges
138
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,648
thousands of dollars in personal
long-distance phone calls to the hotel.
139
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,965
Doesn't mean we want
that family member fired or in jail.
140
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,764
Because that would be
upsetting to the family.
141
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:52,841
You understand what I'm saying?
142
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,841
Yes, you might be right, Doug.
143
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,206
Happens.
144
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,971
Hey, Vincent, what's happening
in your sordid little world today?
145
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,121
Divorce court.
146
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,804
WOMAN: ...to the most fabulous city
in the world
147
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,331
and your idea of a second honeymoon
148
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,085
is sitting in a dark room,
drinking a Diet Pepsi
149
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,764
and eating a tuna fish sandwich.
150
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:16,966
MAN: I'm just about ready to go, honey.
151
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,964
Where? Back to the room
to watch Wheel of Fortune?
152
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,405
I came here to fall in love again.
153
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,164
AIl you want to do is fall asleep.
154
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,840
It was a very good sandwich. Thank you.
155
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,210
He's doomed, Dougie.
The rube's marriage is doomed.
156
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,327
YeP-
157
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,925
Them hicks have difficulties,
158
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,044
when to plant things,
which shirt to put on the scarecrow,
159
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,167
pressure builds up.
160
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,163
Well, there's nothing we can do about it.
161
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,040
"We?" Dougie, I'm just a bartender.
You're the concierge.
162
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,242
Hey, he seemed like a nice guy.
163
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,887
Yeah, well, that nice guy
left you a half a buck tip.
164
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,730
You save his marriage.
165
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,009
VINCENT: Dougie! You kept me
and the missus out of divorce court!
166
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,764
DOUG: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
167
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,724
MAN: $16 for tuna fish?
168
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,928
WOMAN: Harry, will you stop talking
about tuna fish?
169
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,890
- MAN: Not when it costs more than my shoes.
-There you are, sir.
170
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,360
- I have those tickets for you.
-Tickets?
171
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,130
The tickets you called about.
172
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,521
Now I could only get fourth-row orchestra.
I'm sorry.
173
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,080
Miss Saigon is very tough
to get at the last second.
174
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,209
Also I made reservations for a late dinner
at the Rainbow Room.
175
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,282
My friend Gigi,
the maitre d', is expecting you.
176
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,081
And as per instructions,
the hotel limo will pick you up at the theater.
177
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,487
Why, Sparky, you really had me going.
178
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,602
Oh, my God. I can't go to the Rainbow Room
with my hair like this.
179
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,441
Ask for Kenneth. He does Ivana.
180
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,886
Thank you.
181
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,409
Well, you came through like a pro.
182
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,005
How'd you know?
183
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,048
I'm the concierge. I know everything.
184
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,045
You do yourjob very well.
185
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,691
She hasn't called me "Sparky"
in a real long time.
186
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,769
Look, I don't know
exactly how to do this, but...
187
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,482
Uh, look, don't confuse yourself
with all these little denominations.
188
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,605
You wait until
I'm the best friend you ever had.
189
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,250
Then you give me a tip so big,
190
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,841
it feels like passing a kidney stone.
191
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,045
OW. That bad, huh?
192
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,246
If I'm worth it.
193
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,840
-(PHONE RINGING)
-Excuse me, Sparky.
194
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,360
(RINGING CONTINUES)
195
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,646
Concierge.
196
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,445
Dougie, it's Jeanette Vigusian.
197
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,567
Yes, Mrs. Vigusian?
198
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,604
From the newsstand?
199
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,284
Yes, I know, Mrs. Vigusian.
200
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,486
Have you got a minute?
201
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,686
Uh, no, I don't.
202
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,604
You don't have a minute?
203
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,205
Yes, Mrs. Vigusian. I have a minute.
204
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,331
I thought so. Everybody has a minute.
205
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,561
Uh, Mrs. Vigusian...
206
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,007
What about settling down, Dougie?
207
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,963
Marriage, children...
208
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,281
Okay, l will. Thanks, Mrs. Vigusian.
209
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,646
Over there by the fem.
210
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,085
Settle down over there by the fern.
211
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,562
With her, over there by the fern.
212
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,131
Oh, good idea, Mrs. Vigusian. I'll marry her.
213
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,560
- Good.
- Thanks.
214
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,891
(EXHALES)
215
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,527
Some sweet? No?
216
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:44,966
Check this out.
217
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,290
That's the new Julian Russell girl.
218
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,488
Hottest designer, hottest model.
219
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,040
Not many guys have their fantasies
come true, Doug,
220
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,884
but today I get mine.
221
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,645
Great. Look, you know
how risky this is, right?
222
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:57,801
I could get fired.
223
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,609
I really owe you.
224
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,444
And I'm really gonna collect.
225
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,207
You speak to your boss yet?
226
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,685
Sure, sure.
He says he wants to meet with you.
227
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,603
You showed him the proposal?
He was interested?
228
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,841
Hey, the guy gets 50 proposals a week.
229
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,003
He's not gonna write a blank check just
because some bellhop thinks he has an idea.
230
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,565
I'm not a bellhop, okay. I'm a concierge.
231
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,849
Relax. Four years ago,
Hanover found Julian Russell and he...
232
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,082
Schlepping suits
in the Garment District for 75 bucks.
233
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,162
Now Julian Russell
is the fourth small business
234
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,004
Hanover's turned to gold since 1985.
235
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,445
Hey, good boy. You did your homework.
236
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,726
Yeah, well, I...
237
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,881
Now you be a good boy.
238
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,371
I need that room back by 2:00.
239
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:32,771
No problem.
240
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,570
(DOUG CLEARS THROAT)
241
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,721
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
242
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,371
Hey, Doug, look, uh, Iforgot something.
243
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,364
I was supposed to pick up
some package at Barney's for Mr. Hanover.
244
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,920
- It's a present for his wife.
-Jesus Christ.
245
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,606
Come on, Doug.
This could be your last day as a bellhop.
246
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,685
Concierge.
247
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,164
(SNIFFS)
248
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,249
I can't tell a thing.
It's all confused with the other scents.
249
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:02,926
Perhaps on your wrist.
250
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,321
Perhaps not. Lend me an ear.
251
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,851
What?
252
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,970
(SNIFFING)
253
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,451
Too woodsy.
254
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,924
Would you like a second opinion?
255
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,601
Could you?
256
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,284
Sure. Miss?
257
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,122
(SNIFFING DEEPLY)
258
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,850
-(LAUGHING)
-(SNORTING)
259
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,401
You're absolutely right.
260
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,801
You might as well
glue a little pinecone back there.
261
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,450
Oh, woodsy, I'm not.
262
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,443
No, no. Top of my head, I would say
263
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,807
that you were, uh...
264
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,565
Ah, miss,
a bottle of Joy de Jean Patou, please.
265
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,411
My girlfriend wears this.
Now she's about your age.
266
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,924
Well, actually, she's not your age. She'Il be
38 in June and you're probably, what, 34?
267
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,161
Anyway, Joy is what she wears,
and I got to tell you.
268
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,686
- That heady musk...
-(INHALES DEEPLY)
269
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,603
...spicy experience,
270
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,891
tempered by a sweet innocence
271
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,483
has this boy rooting and foraging
morning, noon and night.
272
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,048
(INHALES AND SIGHS HEAVILY)
273
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,125
You be careful.
274
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,330
She'II help you with that.
275
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,650
(GIGGLES) You are some piece of work.
276
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,484
Hey, I got her out of your face, didn't I?
277
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,005
"Rooting and foraging"?
278
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,050
Tell people what they want to hear,
you can sell 'em anything.
279
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,326
What a lovely thought.
280
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,482
Now here's a lovely thought,
you, me, Friday night.
281
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,881
- Miss Saigon, fourth row, on the aisle.
-Doug, don't start.
282
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:34,961
Cowboy Junkies at the Ritz.
283
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,122
- I'm not going through this again.
-Monster trucks at the Garden.
284
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,406
Sesame Street on Ice.
285
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,085
I've got a boyfriend.
286
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,845
You know,
you've used that excuse a number of times.
287
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,207
Well, it's handy, and it's true.
288
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,408
I hope this guy treats you okay.
289
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,365
VVhy?
290
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,771
Does he?
291
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,565
On and off.
292
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,687
Lately?
293
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,569
We spent last weekend in Saint Barts.
294
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,608
You don't look very tanned.
You get rained out?
295
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,126
"No, Doug, we just never
made it out of the room."
296
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,011
AII right, I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna come back
297
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,366
when I'm older, richer and married.
298
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,124
That way, you won't be able to resist me.
299
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,690
Never said he was married.
300
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,280
Listen, I've got to go.
301
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,120
He's married.
302
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,805
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
303
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,364
Gary, you were supposed to be
out of there an hour ago.
304
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,608
I got newlyweds coming in at 5:00.
305
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,250
Doug, I did it.
306
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,441
Spare me the details.
307
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,729
No, I made the call.
The big man will be here tomorrow.
308
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,766
Yes!
309
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,362
And I trust everything
was satisfactory, miss?
310
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,481
Thanks.
311
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,606
(CLEARS TH ROAT)
312
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,446
Hey, Freddy, why don't you take
the old girl home and give her a rest, huh?
313
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:19,931
Old girl? This is, uh...
314
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,206
Gypsy Jill. Ran at Belmont.
315
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:22,645
Won at Belmont.
316
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,089
What were you smoking that year, Freddy?
317
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,889
Let me see. '66, uh...
318
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:41,966
Great.
319
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,366
(SIGHS)
320
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,728
Goodbye. Thanks for coming.
321
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,611
DOUG: I've fallen and I can't get up.
322
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,169
1204, fresh peaches peeled
and a Manchester Guardian every morning.
323
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,163
820, Mr. Mohammed needs a translator...
324
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,571
-(PHONE RINGING)
-...to go with him to Jackie Mason.
325
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,410
- Concierge. Christ!
-BIRD: Jesus Christ, son of the Lord.
326
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,764
No, just Doug. Uh-huh.
327
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,241
Uh-huh, uh, I'll tell you what. Let me put you
through to our restaurant expert. Thanks.
328
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,005
- Okay, need six at 8:30.
-(BIRD CHATTERING)
329
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,367
Sell him on II Monastero.
Call II Monastero. Ask for Mort.
330
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,601
Tell Mort I owe him one.
331
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,931
Milton, you're supposed to be
in 302 getting their Iuggage.
332
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,331
These people have a plane.
333
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,845
And I have an ashtray.
334
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,447
Mr. Bradbury was
very specific about the sand.
335
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,364
Milton, Mr. Bradbury
has been dead since 1968,
336
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,851
these people have a 2:30 flight.
337
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,363
There you go, Mr. B. Have a nice day.
338
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,127
You know, they cremated him,
and when I did this to his ashes
339
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,811
Pe°Dle wept.
340
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,407
I'm sure that's not all they did. Milton, 302.
341
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,561
(PIANO PLAYING)
342
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,964
(SINGING) Or on a crowded avenue
343
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,730
You are here
344
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,522
So aml
345
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,047
Maybe millions
of people go by
346
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,768
But they all disappear
347
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,800
From view
348
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,523
And l only have eyes
349
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,289
For you
350
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,485
Hmm. Hmm.
351
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,681
That was great.
352
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,685
Really? What did you think?
353
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,963
(STAMMERS) Uh, well,
I thought that that really
354
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,481
sucked.
355
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,085
-(LAUGHS)
-GARY: That's not true.
356
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,286
You have a nice touch, sir. Really.
357
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,805
Shut up, Gary. (CHUCKLES)
358
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,001
Christian Hanover.
359
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,564
Douglas Ireland, sir. I really appreciate
you meeting me, Mr. Hanover.
360
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,163
Oh, Christian, please. You know,
it's great to be back at the Bradbury.
361
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,404
I proposed to my wife in this very bar.
362
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,048
I think she only said yes
to get me to stop playing that song.
363
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,287
(LAUGHS)
364
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,327
That's very funny.
365
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,971
Gary, don't you have to go
and see Julian at the agency?
366
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,241
GARY: That's, uh, next week.
367
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,725
Well, leave now.
368
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,166
Yes, sir. Uh, Doug, take good care of my boss.
369
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,643
So, uh, Christian, can I get you a coffee,
something to drink?
370
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,249
My room. Gary did mention it.
371
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,569
Uh, yes, absolutely. Please follow me.
372
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,643
I'll tell you what you're thinking.
373
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:58,240
"Why does a guy who makes that much
money need me to comp him a room?"
374
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,403
No, sir. I mean, uh,
that's none of my business.
375
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,164
I'm making it your business.
376
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,244
Two reasons. I value discretion, Doug.
377
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,165
I didn't get where I am by letting
everybody know my every move.
378
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:12,245
Two, I wanted you to be in the position
of doing me a favor,
379
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,244
'cause I've done one for you
by coming here today.
380
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,483
It's a small thing,
but it's important between men.
381
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,721
We stand equal going in.
382
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,404
Shoot, Doug. Bang-bang.
383
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,201
What price can you put on a dream?
384
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,328
(CHUCKLES) I hope it gets better than this.
385
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,765
Well?
386
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,202
Uh, what price can you put on a dream?
387
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,327
A hotel
388
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,886
is more than just a place
where you eat and you sleep,
389
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,123
it's a place where dreams come true.
390
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,081
I'll just skip ahead to the next section.
391
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,684
Okay, here it is without the poetry.
392
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:56,049
A hotel like none that has ever existed,
and it's already built, in here.
393
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,043
I know what the marble
in the bathrooms looks like.
394
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,522
Now, two years ago, I got a tip on
an incredible property on Roosevelt Island.
395
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,682
Middle of the East River,
best views of Manhattan.
396
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,286
I got a two-year option for $40,000.
397
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,169
Now that's every tip
I've made in the last five years.
398
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:12,649
I got one month to get this thing rolling or
it's going back to the city, and I'm screwed.
399
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,650
Oh, how much to get it from here
to Roosevelt Island?
400
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,245
Three million dollars to start.
401
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,606
Now before you say no, sir,
402
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,809
I sketched out some start-up figures
and it's foolproof. Just read this.
403
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,089
Nothing is foolproof.
404
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,571
-(THROWS PAPER ON THE TABLE)
-Zoning approval?
405
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,405
Contingent upon a small public park
in the southeast corner.
406
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,847
Budget will reflect
current building code requirements.
407
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,247
Handicap ramps, bathrooms. The works.
408
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,402
The city signed off on G-111 minimums?
409
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,481
Pending.
410
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,968
What's a G-111 minimum, Doug?
411
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,766
Well, that's the minimum G-1... Uh...
412
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,171
It's made up, Doug.
413
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,847
- That's the G-111 "no bullshit clause," sir.
-Exactly.
414
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,407
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Oh, that's probably the day maid. I'll get it.
415
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,881
Actually, I'm expecting someone.
416
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,771
She's not my wife, partner. Enough said?
417
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,327
More than enough.
418
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,561
We'll be an hour or so.
419
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:58,971
I'll take the prospectus when I go.
420
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,691
Thank you, sir. And may I once again...
421
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,250
Open the door.
422
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,207
Doug.HL
423
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,441
CHRISTIAN: Honey, meet Doug.
424
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,601
Hi, honey.
425
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,447
CHRISTIAN: You look sensational.
426
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,882
Send up a liter of mineral water.
427
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,644
You got it, partner.
428
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,484
Doug, uh, could I get some advice?
429
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,449
Don't want what you can't have.
430
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,885
(STAMMERS) I mean,
I just want to buy some clothes.
431
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:57,004
Yeah, sorry, Mr. Wegman. Um, absolutely.
What do you have in mind?
432
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,562
I don't know.
I thought maybe a sports jacket,
433
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,530
some colorful shirts, Mrs. Wegman thinks I...
434
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,322
(SIGHS) Women. Who knows what they want?
435
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:06,885
Oh, I know what they want.
436
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,606
- Money. That's what they want.
-(SCRIBBLING)
437
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,886
Here, try this.
438
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,122
Xena on fifth. Ask for Rick.
439
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,571
Tell him I sent you.
440
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,005
Great. Thanks.
441
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,367
Doug? You okay?
442
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,451
Top of the world.
443
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,010
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
444
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,690
- Thank you, Doug.
-Uh...
445
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,162
Not a problem, Mr. Hanover.
446
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,284
Christian. Please.
447
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,087
You'll see that she...
448
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,288
The hotel limo will take her
wherever she needs to go.
449
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,800
Very good.
450
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,009
(STAMMERS) You will...
451
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,410
I'II, uh... I'II look it over today.
452
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,651
Thank you.
453
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,285
Thank you.
454
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,683
She's a lovely girl, isn't she?
455
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,411
What girl?
456
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,003
Very good, Doug. So long, my friend.
457
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,087
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
458
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,322
DOUG: Miss Hart, I have a car waiting for you.
459
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,962
I need the room. My supervisor
wants to know why I'm behind.
460
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,248
You want me to tell her?
461
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,003
Marie, Marie, Marie, what do you need?
Basketball you hate.
462
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,929
Man of La
Mancha you saw,
and the woman fainted.
463
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,729
Mets-Dodgers box seats.
464
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,246
Oh, get a life.
465
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,766
I'll just tell my supervisor.
466
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,049
Mets-Dodgers box seats. What do you know?
467
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,202
Had them all the time. Amazing.
468
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,763
You'll enjoy that.
It's blackmailer appreciation night.
469
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,481
Oh, Jesus. It's okay. He left 10 minutes ago.
470
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,965
I'm looking for my Iipstick.
471
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,405
Yeah, well, buy a new one.
472
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,244
Ball's over, Cinderella. I need the room.
473
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,171
This isn't what it looks like.
474
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,446
It never is.
475
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,326
What's that supposed to mean?
476
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,641
Just forget about it, okay?
Get your stuff together, come on.
477
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,722
No, I won't forget about it.
What did you mean?
478
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,642
What? That it's not what it looks like?
479
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,246
Let me guess why.
He loves you. You love him.
480
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,041
His wife doesn't understand him.
481
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,009
The marriage is over
except for some paperwork.
482
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,811
The gifts, the trips,
the crisp Chardonnay with lunch,
483
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,120
they're not what compel you.
484
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,808
Oh, no. It's the little boy inside of him
that no one else sees. How am I doing?
485
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,527
Boy, are you mean.
486
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,441
But am I wrong?
487
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,761
Yes. We don't drink wine with lunch.
488
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,844
Well, there you go.
489
00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,845
-(ALARM RINGING)
-Who the hell are you to judge me?
490
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:00,887
Excuse me?
491
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,769
- I know what you're thinking.
-(SHUTS OFF ALARM)
492
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,045
I'm not thinking anything.
493
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,208
Christian's marriage
has been dead a long time.
494
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,203
So, sir, have enjoyed
your stay at the Bradbury?
495
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:10,247
Fine, fine.
496
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,721
He's been going through a difficult divorce,
and I'm just trying to stay
497
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,040
out of the way until the whole mess is over.
498
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,043
Have you tried the breakfast buffet?
We're quite proud of that.
499
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,121
Oh, excellent.
500
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,202
I didn't even know
he was married when we met, you jerk.
501
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,567
I mean, I don't run around with married men
so just get off my case.
502
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,211
- Country sausage is a real treat.
-(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
503
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,251
You know the definition of "concierge"?
It's French for "asshole."
504
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:36,011
Eddie, what are you doing?
505
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:38,601
l thought l heard a bug/e call.
506
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:39,761
Well, l, um...
507
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,491
WOMAN: Now you just sit there
and practice your dirges.
508
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,971
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Someday you may want to enter
509
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,246
your father's business
510
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,560
and start a par/or of your own.
511
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,364
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV)
512
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,171
Hey, Leon. How you doing? Come on in.
513
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,480
Douglas.
514
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,611
The Munsters, huh? Uh, which one is this?
515
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,563
Uh, this is the one where
Lily gets pissed at Herman
516
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,529
'cause he's fooling around
with the ski instructors.
517
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:05,886
LEON: A classic.
518
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,803
AIl right, thanks very much,
and I'll see you later.
519
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,041
Hey, you want to stay and have a beer?
520
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,930
'Cause Grandpa's gonna
turn Eddie into a housefly.
521
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,131
- Well, my girl's waiting out on the moped.
-Oh, you should go.
522
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,726
Thanks, Leon.
523
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,881
MAN:
(ON TW ...Paderewski's hangnail,
an E minor chord from the organ
524
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,681
at Westminster Abbey,
a doorknob off the Grand Canyon suite
525
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:31,366
and three... Three, mind you,
sequins from Liberace 's jacket.
526
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,124
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV)
527
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,169
(SNIFFING)
528
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,890
(BUGLE SOUNDING)
529
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,928
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV)
530
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,605
l just got to stop reading the Racing Form
while l 'm mixing these magic pil/s.
531
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,285
(LAUGHING)
532
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,126
DOUG: Damn.
533
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,045
DOUG: AII right, everybody,
let's deal before these shows close, huh?
534
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,283
Two Tommy Tunes looking
for six Mets, that'II be 28.
535
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,284
Four Mets looking for two Cats.
Fourtimes 12.
536
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,165
Plus a Saigon. You owe me 18 bucks.
Thanks very much.
537
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,408
Hold on to your watches.
He's a real operator.
538
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,251
What can I say, some guys see
the big picture, some guys don't.
539
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,164
Okay, Saigon wants Les
Mis,
looking for Yankee day games,
540
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,607
looking for Ice Capades. Come to papa.
541
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,524
You still building your hotel, Douglas?
Boardwalk or Park Place?
542
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,807
Boardwalk. I need Pavarotti.
Anybody got Pavarotti?
543
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,331
- Yeah, I got Pavarotti.
-G reat.
544
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,767
Uh-huh, so all you need is $3 million.
545
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,405
Just a couple hundred years' tips.
546
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,811
- Got it.
-MAN: You got it?
547
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,041
Got a guy who's got it.
548
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,446
What about my night games?
549
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,090
We're getting to night games.
Okay, Charlotte,
550
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,003
Dougie needs six
Grand Hotels for Saturday.
551
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,321
Charlotte needs two Cats and a Phantom.
552
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,687
Six times 50 is three, minus two times 60.
553
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,048
Minus 40, plus
Secret Garden
and Charlotte's a happy camper.
554
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,406
Okay, Ruben needs night games.
555
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,324
Ruben's got night games.
How the hell did this
Donahue get in here?
556
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,686
AII right, everybody happy?
557
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,240
Okay, pleasure doing business with you.
Thanks very much.
558
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,168
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
559
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,287
- Thank you.
-Merci.
560
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,126
Ed Drinkwater, Internal Revenue Service.
561
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,205
Oh, members of the Service
are not allowed to accept
562
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,285
gifts, donations, premiums or favors,
Article 35, section B.
563
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,646
I can, however, make a note
of your unsuccessful attempt at bribery.
564
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,048
Why don't you make a note
that it was a joke?
565
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,326
It was a joke.
566
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:25,890
Now, I've dropped by, Mr. Ireland,
because we're reviewing selected cases
567
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,803
of gratuity-intensive occupations.
568
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,324
It seems that some people
don't report their full incomes.
569
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,644
Really? In this country?
570
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,846
I know about you people.
571
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,729
I know about the 50-dollar handshakes.
572
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,086
I was gonna report this.
573
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,322
No doubt. You interest me, Mr. Ireland.
574
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,925
And is it my eyes, Ed?
575
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,651
You can laugh all you like, Mr. Ireland.
Laugh away.
576
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,888
I can assure you,
your government is not Iaughing.
577
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,288
We're not a bunch of simpering apes here
for your amusement.
578
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,328
I'm not Iaughing and I'm not going away.
579
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:57,131
Now how does a man with your salary
take a $40,000 option on real estate?
580
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,210
That's very easy to explain.
581
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,169
Well, there will be a time for explanations.
582
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,646
Now, here is a notification of your field audit.
583
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,122
I'll be back on the 15th at 4:00 p.m.
Have your documentation ready.
584
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,084
I count the hours till we meet again.
585
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,889
I got Leona. I'll get you.
586
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,007
Yeah, no cheese.
587
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,050
I'm telling you, they're cheese intolerant,
all right? Bye.
588
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,121
You's got a certain party registered here
under the name of a real dickhead,
589
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:54,844
uh, name of Gene Salvatore?
590
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,570
- He registered here?
-He here?
591
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,404
Uh... Dickhead, dickhead.
592
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,561
Um...
593
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,240
Is, uh, there someone I should say is calling?
594
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,722
Yeah, we got a surprise for him.
You could tell him Joey Pickles says hello.
595
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,450
-(CHUCKLES)
-Tell him that.
596
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,091
No, you can't tell him that.
It'll ruin the surprise.
597
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,650
Yeah, you can't tell him that.
598
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,001
What are you,
some kind of blabby rat bastard?
599
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,130
-"Gene Salvatore.19-50."
-(GULPS)
600
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:25,726
Shit!
601
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,363
-(PHONE RINGING)
-(SHOWER RUNNING)
602
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,444
(GENE AND GLORIA SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
603
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,291
- Come on, Gene. Gene!
-(LINE RINGING)
604
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,681
GENE AND GLORIA: (SINGING)
Through every
move you
make
605
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,683
Another chance you take
606
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,125
(LINE CONTINUES RINGING)
607
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,571
(SNORING)
608
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,930
-(DOMINIQUE PLAYING ON RADIO)
-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGING)
609
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,562
GENE AND GLORIA: (SINGING)
Secret agent man
610
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,770
They've given you a number
and taken away your...
611
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,410
- Come on, come on.
-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGING)
612
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,122
(RADIO CONTINUES PLAYING)
613
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,451
Joey Pickles, I'II kill you!
614
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,370
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLAYING ON
VIOLIN)
615
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,681
Hey, kid, you knew about this? I'II kill you!
616
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,201
(LAUGHS)
617
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,408
Yes, sir.
618
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,689
- And on behalf of the Bradbury...
-Happy 45th, Scumbini.
619
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,362
-(LAUGHING)
-Happy birthday, Gene. Happy birthday.
620
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,571
I'd just like to say that tonight's Iodgings
are complimentary.
621
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,727
Ah.
622
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,290
Thank you, kid.
623
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,410
I owe you one.
624
00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:56,370
- Hi, hon.
-Hi.
625
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,565
- Good night.
-Good night.
626
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:00,926
Good luck.
627
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,364
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
628
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,963
(INAUDIBLE)
629
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,805
Doug! Doug!
630
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,728
I am enjoying positive humors this morning.
631
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,285
Why? That new whip come in?
632
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,122
I spent some very pleasant time
with a man from the tax bureau.
633
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,160
Drinkwater?
634
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,645
Well, I don't think there's any problem.
635
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,330
Correct. There's no problem.
636
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,325
Mr. Drinkwater assured us
that the hotel is not a subject of inquiry,
637
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,201
only you, Doug.
638
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,962
So I told him I would gaily cooperate.
639
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,246
Wow, I'm glad you found a new friend.
640
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,646
Mmm, yes, Doug. What times we had.
641
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,726
But he seemed
particularly interested in a deduction
642
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,486
you've been claiming
on a property on Rosenfeld Island.
643
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:53,721
Roosevelt.
644
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,167
President, statesman, war hero.
645
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:00,410
Mmm, quite.
He spoke of Iiens, attachments, disciplines.
646
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,244
You know, my attention wandered.
647
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,729
You know, Mr. Himmelman, Ithink this is
the first time I've ever seen you smile.
648
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,642
Yes, Doug.
I'm enjoying positive humor today.
649
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,927
(WHEELS SQUEAKING)
650
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,327
MR. HIMMELMAN: Milton!
651
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,084
Guten Morgen.
652
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,486
- You're on track.
-I am?
653
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,685
I'm having some very good people go over it.
So far, no red flags.
654
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,285
Have you a lawyer by the way?
655
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,931
- Uh, not... Not yet.
-Hmm.
656
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,485
I'll Iend you one of mine.
657
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,931
I got my trainer in two minutes.
Listen, would you do me a favor?
658
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,811
- Sure.
-Andy's singing in a little club.
659
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,641
Coogan's, I think it's called.
I'm supposed to go, and I absolutely cannot.
660
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,287
Be a sport. Go along, clap Ioudly
and see her home for me, will you?
661
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,361
You got it. What do you want me to tell her?
662
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,490
Uh, just make me sound forlorn.
663
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:58,726
Forlorn?
664
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,808
(SINGING) Every time l hear the classics
665
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,725
My pulse quickens
666
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,202
Ooh, l need a man who knows his
(GASPS)
667
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:10,881
From his Dickens
668
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,483
l could love a man
who uses his head
669
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:22,161
For more than finding
his shoes under the bed
670
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,807
Hey, Fido
Try using your nose
671
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,645
You'll find where those toes goes
672
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:33,408
l could love a man
who uses his head
673
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,763
In case you've
already forgotten
674
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,446
What l just said
675
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,164
l could love a man who
676
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:44,640
(GASPS)
677
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,563
Uses his head
678
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,528
Ooh, yeah
679
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:58,726
Yeah!
680
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,809
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
681
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:13,725
That was great.
682
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,688
- Is someone sitting here?
-Yes.
683
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,605
You know,
I think that's where you're mistaken.
684
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:20,761
Why am I mistaken?
685
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,686
Christian said to tell you he was very sorry
but he was unavoidably detained.
686
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,043
- Oh.
-Yeah, afraid so.
687
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,168
And he sent you scurrying over to tell me?
688
00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,607
Well, I didn't scurry. I don't scurry.
689
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,961
I take the subway like any other animal.
690
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,362
Christian and I have formed this friendship
wherein we do each other favors.
691
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,370
For instance, right now,
he's at the 7-Eleven getting me a Slurpee.
692
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,929
About the other day,
693
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,847
you kind of took me by surprise, you know.
694
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,651
- I'm sorry.
-Where is he?
695
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,888
I told you. I really wanted a Slurpee.
696
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,928
No. Really.
697
00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:00,371
He said he was very sorry that he couldn't
make it, and he was absolutely forlorn
698
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,481
and he had to...
699
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,050
Did he go to the country?
700
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,086
- Yeah. He went directly from the office.
-(SIGHS)
701
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,083
His wife's in the country.
702
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,726
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
703
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,521
No, he went to the country.
His wife went to a different country.
704
00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:17,607
- She went to France.
-France?
705
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,282
Yeah. It's finally over between them,
and she was really depressed,
706
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:26,165
and she felt she needed to go somewhere
where she could, uh, speak French.
707
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,603
- What?
-Yeah, you know how rich people are.
708
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,728
You or I, we get depressed,
we sit alone in our rooms,
709
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,007
they get depressed,
they get on the Concorde and go to Europe.
710
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,167
He left her?
711
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:38,447
Yeah. He just wanted to get out there
712
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,807
and pack up everything
that might remind you of her
713
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,560
so that when you went out there, you weren't
714
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,371
reminded of her. (CHUCKLES)
715
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,045
He's alone out there.
716
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:49,567
Yeah, and forlorn.
717
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,484
I mean, that's the word for it,
absolutely forlorn.
718
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:57,085
But there was somethin' he had to do,
and he's being a real brick about it.
719
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,169
Oh, that's so sweet.
720
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,490
Yeah. Sweet guy.
721
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,086
They didn't like me.
722
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,528
They did. They did.
In fact, the guys at the table next to me,
723
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,566
they were very specific
about what they liked about you.
724
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:17,681
You want to hear?
725
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,366
(CLICKS TONGUE) Uh-uh. Thanks.
726
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:23,324
(BELLS RINGING)
727
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,243
Guess this is a tough business, huh?
728
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,406
Last year, I auditioned to understudy
in an Off-Off-Broadway show
729
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,960
that, uh, closed
as the audience was walking in.
730
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,401
- Ouch.
-(CHUCKLES)
731
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:44,080
Well, why don't you just marry Christian,
and he'll buy you a show?
732
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,244
I want to do it on my own.
733
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,081
(CHUCKLES)
734
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:52,768
Sometimes I see myself at 40 still squirting
perfume, waiting for the phone to ring.
735
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,283
Hustling last-minute reservations
for some out-of-town big shot.
736
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:58,486
AnyWaY- --
737
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,171
Well, where do you live?
738
00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:02,480
AN DY: Uh, East Village.
739
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,841
I'm on the Upper West Side.
I'll get the next one.
740
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:09,771
Are you sure? I could drop you.
741
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,405
No, it's way out of the way.
742
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,810
You were great, by the way.
743
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,645
(LAUGHS) Thanks.
744
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:20,921
Night.
745
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,049
(WHIRRING)
746
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:41,286
Yes, yes, Mr. Drinkwater. Of course
I have all my receipts for '89 and '90.
747
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,731
Can you excuse me for a moment, please?
Thanks. Milton, Milton!
748
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,406
Is there any way you can come back
and get this again another time?
749
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:52,168
This area gets done at 8:00 a.m.
and 3:00 p.m. It is now 3:00 p.m.
750
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,051
I'm due on ashtrays at 3:05. Now, please!
751
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,568
AII right. Hi. Wait. What?
No, no, Mr. Drinkwater!
752
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,321
No, I'm not prepared to give a statement
of all my net assets at this time!
753
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:03,806
(PHONE RINGING)
754
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:05,371
(SNAPS FINGERS)
755
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,089
- Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-(CONTINUES RINGING)
756
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,447
What do you mean, you're in touch
with Christian Hanover's office?
757
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,284
Bar. Yeah, hold on.
758
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,925
What business deal?
759
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,047
(VACUUM WHIRRING)
760
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,361
It's possible the guy may have
come into the hotel,
761
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,761
but trust me,
I do not know Christian Hanover.
762
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,121
It's for you. It's the guy you don't know.
763
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,568
AII right. Mr. Drinkwater,
I'm gonna have to put you on hold!
764
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:29,241
(BEEPING)
765
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,045
Christian, good afternoon.
766
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,249
Not at this end, sport. Andy called here.
767
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,403
As we speak, she's on a bus on her way out
here with the impression
768
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,801
that I am all alone here pining away.
769
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,042
That's a scenario she
apparently got from you.
770
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,961
The problem is, Doug, l am not alone.
Quite the contraiy.
771
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,681
My wife and l have our annual Memorial Day
picnic, thank you very much.
772
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,489
What in the hell am l supposed to do?
773
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,291
Uh, Christian, don't worry about it,
I'll handle it.
774
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,330
What's your address out there?
775
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,880
913 Dune Road, Southampton.
776
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,686
Which means it will take you
several days to get out here.
777
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,446
AII right, Christian, listen,
I'm gonna have to put you on hold.
778
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,641
(BEEP5)
779
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,163
Look, go. Go!
780
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:11,561
(BEEP5)
781
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,325
Okay, 913 Dune Road.
Don't worry, sir. I'II be there.
782
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,447
(BEEP5)
783
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,727
- Mr. Drinkwater.
-Mr. Hanover.
784
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,971
Uh... Christian, I can... I can do this.
785
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,771
I know a guy who knows a guy,
who knows a guy, who can get...
786
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:27,807
(VACUUM STOPS)
787
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,006
Trust me, sir.
788
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,082
- How do you know Chuck?
-I don't know Chuck.
789
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,967
I know Eddie Schacter.
Eddie knows Jerry Levine.
790
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,451
Jerry knows George Spitzer.
791
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,045
George knows Chuck.
792
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,321
Small world.
793
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:47,801
Yeah.
794
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,287
PILOT: Look at these homes, huh?
Unbelievable.
795
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,041
Ten, 20 million dollars.
Do you think these people are happy?
796
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,046
Bet your ass they're happy.
They're freaking delirious.
797
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,368
They'll be smiling
six months after they're dead.
798
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:12,521
DOUG: Yeah.
799
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,562
- Good luck to you, Doug.
-Yeah.
800
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,407
Nice meeting you, Chuck!
801
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:27,761
Moron.
802
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,800
(REGGAE INNA SUMMERTIME PLAYING)
803
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,129
(CROWD CHATTERING)
804
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,924
AII right, I'm takin' you home.
805
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,729
And who the hell are you?
806
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,046
Serge, Tatiana, this is my wife Eleanor.
807
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,088
- WOMAN: Hello.
-Excusez-moi.
808
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,924
- Sorry to bother you, darling...
-Mmm-hmm.
809
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,401
...but a strange man
justjumped out of a helicopter
810
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,164
and attacked Priscilla Bailey.
811
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:11,641
CHRISTIAN: It's all right, dear.
812
00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:13,609
He's a friend of mine.
813
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,680
Uh, thanks.
814
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,290
- Any sign of Andy yet?
-Not yet.
815
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,763
Listen, sport, I cannot have dirty Iaundry
washed in front of these people.
816
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:26,888
No, no. Very clean Iaundry. Very clean.
817
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:28,809
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
818
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,928
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
819
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,962
MAN 1: How are you?
MAN 2: Just fine.
820
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,408
Eleanor, that's the man
that attacked me at the pool downstairs.
821
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,403
He said, "You're coming home with me now."
822
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,564
-(GRUNTS) Whoa!
-(CLATTERING)
823
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:46,641
Uh, hi.
824
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,445
Excuse me. Comin' through.
825
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,726
Excuse me. Whoa!
826
00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:53,210
But, Doug...
827
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,169
- Doug-v
-Doug-
828
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,208
I just wanted to say goodbye.
We had a wonderful time.
829
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,770
So long, old bean.
830
00:46:59,240 --> 00:47:00,287
What are you doing here?
831
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,681
I'm saving you
from a very embarrassing mistake.
832
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:04,922
Saving me? You're the one
that told me Christian was alone.
833
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,126
You said Eleanor was in France.
834
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,168
Yeah, I misunderstood, it was French class.
835
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:10,004
She's learning the language
before she goes there.
836
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,162
But she's agreed to the divorce,
and you're gonna ruin everything.
837
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:14,208
- She has?
-Yeah, sure.
838
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,363
How can they have this party?
839
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,169
How? To keep up appearances.
840
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:19,366
It's a pre-divorce party.
841
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,050
They're very big in the Hamptons,
you know the rich.
842
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,522
Anyway, this is a bad one
'cause he's over there, and she's over there.
843
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,840
Yeah, I guess so.
844
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,001
- Hi.
-Let's go. Come on.
845
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:28,525
Is that her?
846
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,963
- Yeah.
-She's very pretty.
847
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:32,690
Yeah, she is, and he's Ieavin' her for you.
848
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:33,807
Come on, let's go.
849
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,370
- Well, this is really embarrassing.
-No!
850
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:36,521
- But it's not her fault.
-No.
851
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,206
She shouldn't have to find out
that I'm having an affair with her husband.
852
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,408
- No, no.
-What did you say?
853
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,891
We gotta go.
854
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,765
Were you talking about me?
855
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,006
Oh, God.
856
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:47,241
I'm so sorry.
857
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,163
What a horrible way to find out.
858
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,290
Please forgive me.
859
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:54,041
I can't...
860
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:55,724
This is...
861
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,529
Excuse me. Thanks.
862
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,049
Randall!
863
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:04,804
Yes, my angel on earth?
864
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,050
I guess it's time to go.
865
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,010
- Drinkwater.
-AN DY: I'm not thirsty.
866
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,006
I thought we were leaving.
867
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:13,889
Ever wonder how many
bathrooms a place like this has?
868
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,531
- Her!
-I don't even know that woman.
869
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,807
But she seems to know you
pretty well, Randall.
870
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:21,965
Five on this floor already.
871
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,644
- I wanna talk to her!
-DOUG: Um...
872
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:26,288
- Now... Now is not a good time.
-Don't tell me what time it is.
873
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,442
That woman just told my wife
she's having an affair with me!
874
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,409
Look, she had the wrong woman, okay?
It was an honest mistake.
875
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,561
This kind of thing happens all the time.
876
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,881
- She thought your wife was Mrs. Bailey.
-(BANGING)
877
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,008
- Good God! Josh Bailey?
-(ANDY YELLING)
878
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,366
That's why we can't let her out of the room.
879
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,125
'Cause I wanna save the Baileys
from the kind of hell that you and Mrs...
880
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,611
- Brinkerhoff.
-Brinkerhoff?
881
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,091
- Brinkerhoff.
-...are goin' through.
882
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,447
Josh is a good friend of mine,
but so is my wife.
883
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,921
Can I count on you?
I gotta get some wheels.
884
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,923
ANDY: It's not funny, Doug!
885
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,521
Let me out!
886
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,490
MAN: Priscilla, here, of course,
insisted on a peach Aston-Martin.
887
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,291
WOMAN: Well, I had my colors done,
and I'm a peach person.
888
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,044
She's in the bedroom, we need a car.
889
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,122
PRISCILLA: Josh, that's him. That's the one.
890
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,241
Thanks.
891
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,883
Does he work for you?
892
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,371
CHRISTIAN: He's on parole.
893
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:11,885
Oh, dear.
894
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,286
- Josh Bailey! What a shame.
-(BANGING)
895
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,725
I think you better get him
up here right away.
896
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,723
And please don't say anything to Priscilla.
897
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,084
ANDY: Let me out, Doug!
898
00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:29,571
No.
899
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:31,565
Champagne?
900
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:36,611
Thanks.
901
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,689
Don't you just
hate Christian's bullshit parties?
902
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:44,524
I hate Christian's bullshit.
903
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:45,965
Me, too.
904
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:47,565
Ijust hide in here until everybody goes.
905
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,483
I mean, you have everything
you need right here.
906
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,370
Champagne, cigarettes, hors d'oeuvre.
907
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,566
I love hors d'oeuvre.
Don't you just love hors d'oeuvre?
908
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,121
(SNIFFS)
909
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,168
- ANDY: Is this Christian's bedroom?
-Ew.
910
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,841
- Who are you?
-Julian Russell.
911
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:04,605
Really?
912
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,001
Julian Russell. Wow.
913
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:08,766
This is, uh, Josh Bailey.
914
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:10,126
Josh is the vice president, House of Morgan.
915
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,362
Randall Brinkerhoff's got
your girlfriend in the upstairs bedroom.
916
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:13,487
What are you talking about?
917
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,164
I'm talking about your girlfriend
in the upstairs bedroom.
918
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:16,725
A wonderful writer on cooking.
919
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,965
Randall Brinkerhoff has Josh's girlfriend
in the upstairs bedroom.
920
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,371
- What?
-I am serious.
921
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,204
We better go up there, don't you think?
922
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,806
- How the hell did my secretary get here?
-It's not your secretary.
923
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:27,564
Well, then who is it?
I'm not seeing anybody else.
924
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,484
- I don't know who she is.
-Well, whoever she is, don't let her out.
925
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,962
AII right, Josh, who is it this time?
926
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,203
Could somebody, please,
get us another bottle of champagne?
927
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,167
My God, Josh, it's a man!
928
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:40,930
- It's Julian Russell.
-WOMAN 1: Who's the woman?
929
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,729
WOMAN 2: Maybe that's the new
Julian Russell girl.
930
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,609
So you're screwing
the new Julian Russell girl?
931
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:46,170
WOMAN 2: You think you've got trouble?
932
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,810
My husband's screwing Julian Russell.
933
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,963
So anyway, you know, there we are
in the coffee capital of the world,
934
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:54,366
and she has this little coffeepot
935
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,807
that she can't live without,
so she plugs it into that...
936
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:58,041
You know that they live in France,
937
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,565
they have the different
sort of electrical currents,
938
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,369
-and the thing just blows up.
-(THUDS)
939
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,808
You know, into a million coffee grinds.
940
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:06,686
Let's go.
941
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:08,762
First you want to go, then you want to stay.
942
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,285
- Now I want to go.
-I want to stay.
943
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,964
Oh, it's time to go. Come on.
944
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,246
Bye.
945
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:15,889
Thanks for dropping in.
946
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,491
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
947
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:18,846
(ANDY YELLING)
948
00:51:20,240 --> 00:51:21,480
ANDY: Put me down!
949
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:22,887
(GROANING)
950
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,610
MAN: Oh, my God!
951
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,682
MAN 1: What happened?
MAN 2: Did you see that?
952
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,405
WOMAN: How long has this been going on?
953
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,124
MAN: What about the affairs that you've had?
954
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,563
(ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)
955
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:34,841
Oh!
956
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:37,604
Doug, what are you doing?
957
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,601
I don't know.
958
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,489
(CONTINUES ARGUING)
959
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,687
Just checking that
no one's going off with the silver.
960
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,044
Nice car for a bellhop.
961
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:53,964
I'm a Concierge, Mr. Drinkwater.
962
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,611
You're in deep shit, Mr. Ireland.
963
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,205
See you soon.
964
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,567
- Who was that?
-The IRS.
965
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,204
When it rains, it pours.
966
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:05,845
(STARTS ENGINE)
967
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,041
(REVS ENGINE)
968
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,409
ANDY: What have I done?
969
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,811
DOUG: You didn't do anything.
970
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,845
No? I accidentally told his wife
we were having an affair.
971
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:22,490
- That's not anything?
-You didn't tell her.
972
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:24,642
- I did. She was...
-That wasn't her.
973
00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:28,287
You said it was.
974
00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:30,165
I Iied. (LAUGHS)
975
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:33,008
I guess that would be the word for it.
976
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,003
- She doesn't know?
-Nope.
977
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:37,483
The amicable divorce, was that a lie too?
978
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:39,767
- Yeah, well, sort of.
-What do you mean, sort of?
979
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:41,001
Look, you were about to make a scene.
980
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,924
AII right?
I had to calm you down, get you out of there.
981
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,650
So humiliating.
982
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,643
Yeah, well, you'll get over it.
983
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,685
I meant you.
984
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,568
You Iie for him,
you clean up his messes for him.
985
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:53,846
Is there anything you wouldn't do for him?
986
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,082
- Yeah, I wouldn't...
-You wouldn't what?
987
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,165
Look, leave me out of it, all right?
988
00:52:58,240 --> 00:53:01,562
I need this guy.
Right now I need this guy more than air.
989
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:02,721
Yeah, right.
990
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,211
ANDY: Pullover. I think I'm gonna be sick.
991
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,444
(COUGHING)
992
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,290
What's your problem? Your life isn't ruined.
993
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,362
Sym pathetic vomiter.
994
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:32,126
If I see it or hear it or smell it, I...
995
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:35,884
(COUGHING)
996
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:37,485
(BOTH COUGHING)
997
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:40,729
MAN: Make fun of our hats, will you?
998
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,929
Don't tell us we don't have
the Iowest prices in town.
999
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,040
Andy?
1000
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:50,771
MY purse.
1001
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:54,770
I have to use your bathroom.
1002
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,205
Then you can have your purse back.
1003
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:58,081
(SIGHS)
1004
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,241
(SUNROOF WHIRRING)
1005
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:02,651
(EXHALES) I just have to...
1006
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,888
(CONTINUES WHIRRING)
1007
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,010
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
1008
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:12,486
(DOOR CLOSES)
1009
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,450
The keys are in my purse.
1010
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,001
(LAUGHS)
1011
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,320
DOUG: I can't believe you tried to
grab the purse from me.
1012
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,289
What, do you think I'm a klutz or something?
1013
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:38,681
(G ROANS)
1014
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,047
(TOILET FLUSHING)
1015
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:45,480
What are you doing?
1016
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:47,085
Put the seat back down.
1017
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:52,410
(TOILET SEAT CLATTERS DOWN)
1018
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:54,366
Where are you going?
1019
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,363
Out of town. I need to think.
1020
00:54:56,720 --> 00:54:58,848
Why do women always
have to get out of town to think?
1021
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,410
I mean, I notice that. I see them at the hotel.
1022
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,164
- Good-Iooking women from other towns...
-(PHONE RINGING)
1023
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,208
...sitting around having tea, thinking.
1024
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,164
You peed. Now, go.
1025
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:09,200
ANSWERING
MACHINE: Hello, this is Andy.
Leave a message at the tone.
1026
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:10,361
(BEEP5)
1027
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:11,566
CHRISTIAN: (OVER PHONE)
Andy?
1028
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:13,485
Darling, are you there?
1029
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,650
Uh, I'm just gonna, uh...
1030
00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:17,449
I'm just gonna tell him we got in okay.
1031
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:19,363
- Okay?
-I'm already gone.
1032
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:23,449
Hi, Christian. Doug.
1033
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:24,726
We got in okay.
1034
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:25,887
What a car.
1035
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,566
Boy, it was everything I could do
not to open that baby up.
1036
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,450
- Put her on a second.
- She's a little put out, actually.
1037
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,931
- ANDY: "Put out"?
-Yeah, she's packing.
1038
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,128
She's leaving town. She wants to think.
1039
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:36,850
Jesus, what is it with women?
1040
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,127
Uh, yeah, I was just saying that.
1041
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,246
Tell that asshole
I never want to see him again!
1042
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:45,763
- Is
that her?
- Yeah, that was her.
1043
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:47,171
Did she call me an asshole?
1044
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,443
Gee, I don't know. Something about
"tell that rascal" something.
1045
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,648
I said asshole, asshole!
1046
00:55:52,720 --> 00:55:54,051
Asshole. She said asshole.
1047
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:55,446
You were right. My mistake.
1048
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,644
- Put her
on, Doug.
-l don't know if that's a
good idea.
1049
00:55:57,720 --> 00:55:58,801
I said put her on, Doug!
1050
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,843
Uh, Andy.
1051
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,200
Uh, Christian would like to speak to you.
1052
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,362
Not in this Iifetime.
1053
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,046
He says he loves you,
and it's really important.
1054
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,724
Twitty English scumbag.
1055
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,282
Not the response
we were looking for, Christian.
1056
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,445
Okay, Doug.
1057
00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:20,924
What does she need?
What does she want to hear?
1058
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,684
Okay, here's the drill.
1059
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,603
Convince her that she's the love of your life.
1060
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:28,526
Do a big number on
how Andy feels and what Andy needs.
1061
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,202
- Like that.
- Yeah, okay.
1062
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:32,725
That's your edge.
1063
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,404
- Got me?
-l got you.
1064
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:36,371
He's crying.
1065
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,250
The man is weeping, Andy.
You gotta talk to him.
1066
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:41,084
He understands how you feel.
1067
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,367
He knows you never want to see him again,
but he loves you,
1068
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:45,807
and he just wants a chance to say goodbye.
1069
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,686
50W-
1070
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:58,560
I'm listening.
1071
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,324
-(CHRISTIAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
-(DOUG CLEARS THROAT)
1072
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,171
ANDY: Mmm-hmm.
1073
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:07,680
Uh-uh.
1074
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,843
Mmm-hmm.
1075
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:15,211
Mmm-hmm.
1076
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:18,488
(LAUGHS SLIGHTLY) Uh-uh.
1077
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,371
Mmm.
1078
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,885
(DOOR OPENS)
1079
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,724
-(DOOR CLOSES)
-Mmm-hmm.
1080
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:01,291
Mrs. Arbogast,
Doug Ireland at the Concierge desk.
1081
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,250
You're all set for your 2:00 massage
in your room.
1082
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,163
Yes, his name is Vladimir.
1083
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,004
You can put the massage on your hotel bill,
1084
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,801
but we ask that the tip be paid
directly to him in cash.
1085
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:13,844
Yes, he is a blonde.
1086
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,161
Mr. Rahjeen,
Doug Ireland from the Concierge desk.
1087
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,971
Thought you'd wanna know that
Vindaloo is back from his singing lessons,
1088
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:20,883
-and he's sounding better than ever.
-(BIRD SINGING SCALES)
1089
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:22,970
I'II send him right up.
1090
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,726
(CONTINUES SINGING)
1091
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:28,088
Mr. Wegman, good morning.
1092
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,286
Hey, Doug, good morning.
1093
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,607
Look, a Piaget is a reliable watch, isn't it?
1094
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,001
Oh, yeah.
1095
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:36,084
'Cause we're leaving tomorrow,
and I thought I'd buy Mrs. Wegman a present
1096
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:37,201
to remember the trip by.
1097
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,691
Look, Mr. Wegman,
1098
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,367
nobody buys a $15,000 watch
in a hotel lobby.
1099
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:45,284
You want to take a walk with me?
I'll save you a grand a block.
1100
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,328
Carmen, cover for me. I'II be back in five.
1101
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:48,925
And don't tease the bird.
1102
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:50,521
(SQUAWKS)
1103
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,529
(HORN HONKING)
1104
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:55,320
New York is the wholesale
jewelry capital of the world.
1105
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,801
You'd have to be a schmuck
to pay retail here.
1106
00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:59,211
No offense.
1107
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,604
- Don't step in that.
-What? Oh!
1108
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,202
Okay, Mr. Rockefeller, $7_
1109
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:07,361
You probably want to call your bank.
1110
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:08,970
I'll give you $5, cash.
1111
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,691
How about I give you $5
to get the hell out of my store?
1112
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:13,364
AII right, all right, Benny.
1113
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:15,647
$7, I insist.
1114
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:17,407
Shalom, Benny.
1115
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,448
Oh, die of cancer,
you Iousy, stinking bastard!
1116
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,730
Mr. Ireland, my favorite customer.
1117
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,962
- What can I get for you?
-Piaget Tanagra.
1118
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,723
Ooh, beautiful choice.
1119
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:32,009
For you, Mr. Ireland, $9,000.
1120
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:34,448
Fantastic.
1121
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,649
Mr. Wegman, we wanna get mugged,
we can go out in the street.
1122
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,603
Doug, Doug, Doug, I'mjoking! I'mjoking!
1123
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,404
-$8,500.
-$8,300.
1124
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:44,370
May you have a tumor on your head
that looks like a derby.
1125
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:46,645
DOUG: That's yes.
1126
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,046
Let me get this straight.
1127
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,248
If... If I mail the empty box
back to my home address,
1128
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,288
- I don't have to pay any sales tax?
-What?
1129
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:55,164
That guy said that? It doesn't sound right.
1130
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:57,527
Tell you what, let me go back
and check, all right? Okay.
1131
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,442
- May you have a growth.
-(CHUCKLES)
1132
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:03,683
I love you, too, Benny.
1133
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:05,931
Inoperable!
1134
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,204
MAN: Pick the red. Pick the red, not the black.
1135
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:09,725
Go ahead. Twenty gets you 40.
1136
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:11,730
Come on, big time. That's not for us.
1137
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:14,690
No, no, no. That other fellow there
has been winning consistently.
1138
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:16,364
Well, it's a miracle.
1139
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,004
- Thanks, Carmen.
-Mr. Hangover on three for you.
1140
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:24,491
BIRD: Hanover, not Hangover.
1141
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:26,721
Christian.
1142
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:27,847
I need you, Doug.
1143
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,400
The show's on Thursday,
and Julian's having an absolute fit.
1144
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:31,567
I cannot get away.
1145
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,401
Look, I'm supposed to be meeting Andy
at Bendel's at noon,
1146
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:35,606
and l can't reach her.
1147
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:39,401
Be a sport. Come and get my car,
and go around and take care of her for me.
1148
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:41,926
L 'm reserved at the Grotto at 9:00.
1149
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,729
Make sure she's there and happy.
1150
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,050
Christian, that's not going to be possible.
1151
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:47,960
- Oh.
-(J U LIAN RANTING)
1152
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,321
DOUG: No, I'm very tied up at the moment,
1153
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,641
and l don't think
I'm gonna be able to make it.
1154
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:53,801
JULIAN: Get me something!
1155
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:55,680
Christian?
1156
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:57,925
Mr. Hanover?
1157
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,809
Yes, I see.
1158
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:01,962
- Uh, let me see ifl understand this.
-(JULIAN CONTINUES RANTING)
1159
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,890
You are not able to do me this favor.
1160
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:07,611
- Well...
-l mean, that is what you're saying.
1161
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:08,841
Right?
1162
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,684
You cannot do what I've asked.
1163
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:12,686
No, sir.
1164
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,762
Uh-huh. Very well.
1165
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:15,921
Goodbye.
1166
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,809
Uh, Christian, Christian, Christian. Um...
1167
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:22,441
Look, my schedulejust cleared up.
1168
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,365
I'm happy to help, sir.
1169
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,602
How very fortunate I am. You're a prince.
1170
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:28,091
- Oh, Doug.
-Yes?
1171
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:30,489
Why don't you send around
a copy of your prospectus
1172
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:31,527
to my business manager,
1173
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,841
so we can begin to draw up
some commitment papers.
1174
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,325
Definitely, sir. Right away, sir.
1175
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:38,051
And, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Christian, I'II handle everything.
1176
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,724
Thank you. Milton.
1177
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:41,407
Milton!
1178
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:42,811
BIRD: Milton.
1179
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,165
Okay, this goes to this address.
1180
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:50,571
This goes to this address.
1181
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,689
And Milton, Federal Express,
not Pony Express.
1182
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:56,245
Come on, Carmen. Standby.
1183
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:57,526
Cover for me, will you?
1184
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,206
(BOX DROPS)
1185
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:01,731
BIRD: Carmen!
1186
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,329
(GUITAR STRINGS TWANGING)
1187
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:06,881
BIRD: Uh-oh.
1188
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:10,004
(GUITAR TWANGING)
1189
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:13,606
(GUITAR TWANGING)
1190
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:17,040
(COINS CLATTERING)
1191
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:21,005
BIRD: Oh, God.
1192
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,844
(GUITAR TWANGING)
1193
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:24,286
Oy vey.
1194
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:28,485
- Oh, God.
-(TWANGING CONTINUES)
1195
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:33,884
Can I be of some assistance?
1196
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:35,246
God, what do you want?
1197
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,881
Well, the gentleman has been detained
by the histrionics of his mercurial star.
1198
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,968
- Julian's having a hissy fit.
-Exactly.
1199
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,327
Christian said he'd meet you
at the Grotto at 9:00.
1200
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:44,447
It never ends.
1201
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:45,931
In the meantime, it would be a pleasure
1202
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,002
to help madam
with any of her shopping needs.
1203
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:49,286
Doug.
1204
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,761
No, Mr. Doug.
1205
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:54,764
Now, Mr. Doug understands
that madam is looking for something
1206
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:56,285
in the area of intimate apparel.
1207
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:58,089
This is Mr. Doug's favorite area.
1208
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,447
Look, thanks for finding me,
but you don't have to babysit.
1209
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:01,646
I'm not going anywhere.
1210
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:03,245
Who said anything about babysitting?
1211
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:04,810
Christian asked me to keep you company,
1212
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:06,644
and I'm happy to do him the favor.
1213
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:08,330
It's really not necessary.
1214
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:12,007
Come on, I got the rest of the afternoon off.
What do you want to do?
1215
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,048
We are going to Italy.
I was gonna buy a camera.
1216
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:17,164
I got a guy for you to meet.
1217
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,242
May you pass things from your backside
that even science cannot identify.
1218
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:23,971
-(BOTH LAUGH)
-That was new. I hadn't heard that.
1219
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:25,485
(PIANO PLAYING)
1220
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,289
This is a great place.
1221
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,567
Yeah, it's a dream of mine to be married here.
1222
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:32,201
HEY. Why don't you jump in?
1223
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:34,681
It looks like he could
use some Vocal accompaniment.
1224
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,161
- You know, I have this recurring dream.
-Me, too.
1225
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,050
Does yours involve Michelle Pfeiffer
and a carton of Cool Whip?
1226
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:43,168
(LAUGHS) No.
1227
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:44,605
What's your dream?
1228
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:47,802
I'm singing in an enormous hall.
1229
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:49,245
I mean, it's huge.
1230
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:53,206
AN DY: (SINGING) Say does that star-spangled
1231
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:58,366
Banner yet wave
1232
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:03,725
O'er the land of the free
1233
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:11,290
And the home of the brave
1234
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:13,441
(LAUGHS)
l did it.
1235
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:18,211
Can you imagine what that would have
been like with 50,000 people here?
1236
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:19,964
Give me a couple of days, I'll set it up.
1237
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,246
I bet you could, couldn't you?
1238
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,243
Yeah, I just said I could.
1239
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:24,321
Genie in a suit.
1240
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,402
- Just rub me and make a wish.
-(CHUCKLES SLIGHTLY)
1241
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:29,569
Whatever you want to see, whatever
you want to buy, whatever you want to eat.
1242
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:31,085
You name it, I can get anything.
1243
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:32,764
Anything but what you really want?
1244
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,241
No, I'm gonna get that too.
1245
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,209
What is it?
1246
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,489
What is Christian doing for you
that's so important?
1247
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,570
I'll show you.
1248
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,081
DOUG: I don't go anywhere.
1249
01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:59,083
I don't buy anything.
1250
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:00,321
I don't do anything.
1251
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:03,967
I save every dollar,
and I spend every day working on this hotel.
1252
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:05,963
If it doesn't happen,
1253
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:07,724
I guess I wasted my youth.
1254
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:11,924
Think I'm nuts?
1255
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,923
No, not at all.
1256
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:15,650
What's it called?
1257
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:19,285
The Doug.
1258
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,844
The Doug? (LAUGHS)
1259
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,611
- I don't know about The Doug.
-AII right, all right.
1260
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,168
How about The River House?
1261
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,764
The River House is good.
1262
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:34,528
Where do I check in?
1263
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,762
Uh, right over there. That's the lobby.
1264
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,049
Over here is the dining room,
elevator banks and that's the bar.
1265
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:44,563
Eight different kinds of wine by the glass,
pistachio nuts out of the shell.
1266
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,211
You really can see it, can't you?
1267
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,760
I've been that way most of my life.
1268
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:55,042
I grew up in a hotel.
1269
01:05:56,400 --> 01:06:00,200
My old man was a cook at a resort
in the Catskills for 27 years.
1270
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:02,441
A place called Hurley's.
1271
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:05,727
(SINGING) Every day's a
holiday at Hurley's
1272
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:07,760
Yeah.
1273
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,763
Not for my old man.
1274
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,686
Brought home $137.14 a week.
1275
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:16,366
Dropped dead in the kitchen of a heart attack.
1276
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:18,249
He was 59 years old.
1277
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:30,290
Wow.
1278
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,770
You see it?
1279
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:39,926
Yes.
1280
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,610
I'm not going to be a 59-year-old bellhop.
1281
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:50,131
Concierge.
1282
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:56,650
I'm not gonna be anything
if I make you late for Christian.
1283
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:59,007
Maybe we should make him wait for once.
1284
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,010
Not tonight.
1285
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:04,804
There's too much at stake.
1286
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:14,284
-(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
-I love that.
1287
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:29,689
DOUG: Damn, you look great.
1288
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:37,246
Thank you.
1289
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,240
(SIGHS)
1290
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:44,290
(STARTS ENGINE)
1291
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:47,803
(REVS ENGINE)
1292
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:56,482
So, Italy.
1293
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,844
Christian's taking a house in Tuscany
for a couple of weeks.
1294
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:03,366
We're leaving after the show on Thursday.
1295
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:05,843
Nice.
1296
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:07,410
You been to Italy?
1297
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:11,250
Eaten the food. Worn the shoes.
Never actually been.
1298
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:16,161
Christian has a lot of friends there.
1299
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:30,841
Ah.
1300
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:34,324
Two minutes to spare.
1301
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:36,885
How about that?
1302
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:43,291
I got it.
1303
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,811
I had a wonderful time today,
1304
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:50,882
even if it was 'cause you had to.
1305
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,724
I had a great time too.
1306
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:58,201
(CHUCKLES)
1307
01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:00,687
- Anyway.
-Yeah. Um...
1308
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:03,610
Good night.
1309
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,922
(INAUDIBLE)
1310
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:54,604
HEY-
1311
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:56,489
Now what?
1312
01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:57,686
I don't know.
1313
01:09:57,760 --> 01:09:59,250
No fresh excuse from Christian?
1314
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:00,810
No, not that I know of.
1315
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,484
So what are you doing here?
1316
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:04,528
Uh, Jack Daniel's, rocks, please.
1317
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,125
It's a free country.
1318
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:09,248
I took the car back to the hotel,
and it occurred to me
1319
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:10,651
that Christian might be delayed.
1320
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:13,007
Above and beyond the call of duty.
1321
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:14,730
He should be along any minute anyway.
1322
01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:16,325
Of course he will.
1323
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:22,086
Do you... Do you want to just sit down
and get an appetizer or something?
1324
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:26,403
Sue Spatz on the green
of the par four 17th at Hurley's.
1325
01:10:26,480 --> 01:10:27,481
- How old?
-Sixteen.
1326
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:28,607
- She?
-Same.
1327
01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:29,761
Contributing factors?
1328
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:30,921
A bottle of Mateus Rosé
1329
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,048
and the fact that she was going
to boarding school the next day,
1330
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,441
which I brilliant turned into
the equivalent of going to war.
1331
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:37,326
(LAUGHS) Current status of relationship.
1332
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,686
Christmas card two years ago.
1333
01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:40,846
You?
1334
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,040
Phil Gibson on the couch of his parents' den.
1335
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:47,451
- Age?
-Seventeen.
1336
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:48,646
- Phil?
-Eighteen.
1337
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:50,609
- God, even then!
-One year! Shut up!
1338
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:52,284
Contributing factors?
1339
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:53,930
We were watching
Wuthering Heights.
1340
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,525
- Current status?
-Unknown.
1341
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,843
He's out wandering the moors,
crying, "Andy! Andy!"
1342
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:00,365
(LAUGHS)
1343
01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:02,010
How come you don't have a girlfriend?
1344
01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:05,440
Well, between working
and trying to get my hotel set up,
1345
01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:06,760
I just don't have the time.
1346
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:08,490
You weren't too busy today.
1347
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:10,642
- Well, today was...
-Business.
1348
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:12,606
I forgot.
1349
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:14,569
I wasn't gonna say that.
1350
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:16,729
(MAN CLEARING TH ROAT)
1351
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:19,090
DOUG: Mr. Wegman?
1352
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:20,887
Whoa.
1353
01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:22,166
Not bad, huh?
1354
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,685
You look good.
1355
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,250
Andy Hart, Mr. Wegman.
1356
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:27,606
- Hi, Harry Wegman. How are you?
-Hi.
1357
01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:28,721
Doesn't he look good?
1358
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:30,290
- You look good.
-DOUG: You look good.
1359
01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:31,850
How did Mrs. Wegman react?
1360
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,202
She, uh... She Iaughed.
1361
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,760
DOUG: That's not good.
How long have you been married?
1362
01:11:36,840 --> 01:11:38,842
Oh, this is our 20th anniversary.
1363
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:42,242
Well, did it ever occur to you that
she actually likes you just the way you are?
1364
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:46,321
Hey, didn't you say you wanted to dance?
1365
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:47,367
Uh, yeah.
1366
01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:49,886
Why don't you two get out there
and give Mrs. Wegman a wake-up call, huh?
1367
01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:50,961
Uh... Uh-uh, uh.
1368
01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:52,280
DOUG: Come on, Harry.
1369
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,170
Okay. Thanks.
1370
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,403
- I'm sorry.
-You're doing fine.
1371
01:12:08,480 --> 01:12:09,527
Yeah.
1372
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:10,681
Which one's your wife?
1373
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:12,888
She is that very beautiful woman right there.
1374
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:15,882
ANDY: The incrediblyjealous one?
1375
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:17,571
Yeah.
1376
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:48,888
You know, you got a great guy there.
1377
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:50,724
He's made a very big effort for me.
1378
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,840
That's what Doug does. It's his job.
1379
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:57,561
He makes a living out of being nice to people
who might give him something in return.
1380
01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:01,290
That's funny. I never got that impression.
1381
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:03,728
I guess you know him a lot better than I do.
1382
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:05,325
Not really.
1383
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:07,451
Well, I may be naive...
1384
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,170
- I am naive, definitely.
-(CHUCKLES)
1385
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:14,968
But he's... He's gone way out of his way
to help me with my little situation here.
1386
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:17,290
You... You don't do that for money.
1387
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:18,964
That comes from the heart.
1388
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:22,491
(PLAYING PIANO)
1389
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:25,001
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
1390
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:32,446
- In
Your Eyes, fellas.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
1391
01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:37,529
This next song is dedicated
to a very special couple here tonight
1392
01:13:37,640 --> 01:13:39,051
for a very special occasion.
1393
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:42,169
Mr. and Mrs. Harry Wegman,
happy anniversary!
1394
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:51,880
(PIANO PLAYING)
1395
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:56,884
MAN: (SINGING) Look
at you
1396
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:01,966
More sparkling
than a glass of fine champagne
1397
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:06,010
Look at me
1398
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:11,371
I'm higher than a kiss on lover's lane
1399
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:17,122
At the evening's start my lone/y heart
1400
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:18,964
Think Christian would mind if we danced?
1401
01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:21,967
You want to dance with me or Christian?
1402
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:26,007
Well, Christian's not here, so...
1403
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:31,406
MAN: (SINGING) In
your eyes
1404
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:37,330
Look at you
1405
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:39,047
You shine like starlight
1406
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:40,571
Is he a big tipper?
1407
01:14:41,240 --> 01:14:42,571
Harry?
1408
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:45,165
I doubt it.
1409
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:49,010
Look at 'em.
1410
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:51,924
Poetry in motion.
1411
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,605
Get her, Harry.
1412
01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:56,523
A moonlight beam
1413
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:03,891
At the evening's start my lone/y heart
1414
01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:08,764
Was taken by surprise
1415
01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:14,524
When l saw myself
1416
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:19,925
In your eyes
1417
01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:47,324
Look at us
1418
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,004
We danced
1419
01:15:49,080 --> 01:15:52,971
And yet our feet don't touch the ground
1420
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:57,246
Miss Hart?
1421
01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:58,765
There's a phone call for you.
1422
01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:01,047
- You can take it at the bar.
-AN DY: Thank you.
1423
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:03,650
Guess who?
1424
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:08,681
(BEEP5)
1425
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:12,087
- Hello?
-CHRISTIAN: Sweetheart, it's me.
1426
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:13,321
I'm so sony.
1427
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:15,926
Julian looked himself in the storage room
with the entire collection.
1428
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,889
lt took me hours to coax him out again.
1429
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:20,167
Anyway, I'm out of here in half an hour.
1430
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:22,402
I'll meet you at our suite
at the Bradbuly. Huh?
1431
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,206
Oh, right.
1432
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,408
I'll call Doug and get him to set it up.
1433
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:29,080
Uh, he's here.
1434
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:30,764
Yeah?
1435
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:34,765
Well, he saw you were going to be late,
so he stayed to keep me company.
1436
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,365
He's a terrific babysitter.
1437
01:16:36,440 --> 01:16:37,885
Put him on.
1438
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:40,930
Okay.
1439
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:43,090
Christian.
1440
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,441
Hey, Christian. How's the man?
1441
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:46,726
Yeah, the man is busy.
1442
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,451
Listen, take Andy back to the Bradbuly
and put her in our usual suite.
1443
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,249
I'll meet her there. You got it?
1444
01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:52,970
Yeah, I got it. I'll take care of it.
1445
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,166
And, Doug.
1446
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:58,006
I'm going to have some very good news
about our... Our little venture.
1447
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,045
Great.
1448
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,325
I'll get the check.
1449
01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:17,449
I'm sorry about what happened back there.
1450
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:18,931
Nothing happened.
1451
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:23,644
Well.
1452
01:17:23,720 --> 01:17:26,041
No, I mean, nothing happened but...
1453
01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:29,529
You know.
1454
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:30,840
I don't know.
1455
01:17:30,920 --> 01:17:33,082
What happened was that you got your deal.
1456
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:34,525
Congratulations.
1457
01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:38,084
Thanks. You, too.
1458
01:17:38,160 --> 01:17:41,403
I mean, you and Christian,
it looks like that's gonna work out.
1459
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:42,880
Uh-huh.
1460
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:45,926
Look.
1461
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:49,081
AII I was saying was I'm glad that he...
1462
01:17:49,160 --> 01:17:52,164
That he called when he called,
and nothing crazy happened, and we didn't...
1463
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:54,322
Nothing crazy was going to happen.
1464
01:17:54,440 --> 01:17:57,842
I don't know what you think,
but nothing was close to happening.
1465
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:59,251
Okay.
1466
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:01,326
Well.
1467
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:03,445
DOUG: Well.
1468
01:18:04,040 --> 01:18:07,283
So I can open this champagne now
or would you like to wait for Christian?
1469
01:18:07,360 --> 01:18:08,600
I'II wait, thanks.
1470
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:13,847
- Music?
-No, I'II wait for Christian.
1471
01:18:13,920 --> 01:18:15,524
Would you like me to turn down the bed?
1472
01:18:16,160 --> 01:18:17,286
Why not?
1473
01:18:24,120 --> 01:18:26,088
Will that be all then, miss?
1474
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,969
That's it? That's all you have to say?
1475
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:29,371
What would you like me to say?
1476
01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:32,808
Oh, I forgot! You don't say a thing
unless Christian tells you to!
1477
01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:34,484
You're like his houseboy, for Christ's sake!
1478
01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:38,087
Well, if I'm his houseboy,
what's yourjob description?
1479
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,046
ANDY: Damn you.
1480
01:18:40,960 --> 01:18:42,246
(G LASS SHATTE RS)
1481
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:47,361
- What's up, Doug?
449V, how you doing?
1482
01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:50,284
Everything all right?
You, uh... You look a little upset.
1483
01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:54,604
Uh, yeah, I'm fine. It wasjust a long day.
1484
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:57,163
- Where's Andy?
-Resting.
1485
01:18:57,680 --> 01:19:01,241
My Iawyers assure me they can
work out our problems with the IRS.
1486
01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:04,608
Come to Julian's show Thursday,
and I'll have the commitment papers.
1487
01:19:04,680 --> 01:19:06,284
We're in business, partner.
1488
01:19:07,920 --> 01:19:09,046
DOUG: Thank you, sir.
1489
01:19:09,760 --> 01:19:13,048
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I think I have some fences to mend.
1490
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:16,887
(CLATTERING)
1491
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:18,645
CHRISTIAN: Hello, darling.
1492
01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:21,601
ANDY: Christian,
you can't keep doing this to me.
1493
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:24,206
CHRISTIAN: Andy, I've left Eleanor.
1494
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:27,450
AN DY: Really?
1495
01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:30,330
CHRISTIAN: I promised you Iwould,
and I have.
1496
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:33,490
ANDY: I'm so happy.
1497
01:19:58,680 --> 01:19:59,920
(SIGHS)
1498
01:20:04,720 --> 01:20:05,881
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1499
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:16,484
(ALARM RINGING)
1500
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,601
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1501
01:20:28,320 --> 01:20:30,084
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
1502
01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:02,602
(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
1503
01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:07,563
MAN: Come on, come on, come on,
I need her outfit right now!
1504
01:21:07,640 --> 01:21:09,449
Come on! What are you waiting for?
1505
01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:11,803
Come on, come on, come on! Go!
1506
01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:14,646
MAN: Beautiful!
1507
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:35,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
1508
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,367
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
1509
01:21:40,880 --> 01:21:42,291
CHRISTIAN: Doug!
1510
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:51,443
I'm sorry about the chaos,
but I wanted to do this in person.
1511
01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:52,885
I'm fond of ceremony.
1512
01:21:52,960 --> 01:21:54,291
- My kind of ceremony.
-Yeah.
1513
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:56,169
It's rather like a candy store, isn't it?
1514
01:21:56,240 --> 01:21:57,685
AII right, one second,
one second, one second.
1515
01:21:57,760 --> 01:21:59,410
Beautiful. Goodbye.
1516
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,365
Commitment papers.
1517
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:05,528
Sign them and deliver them to my Iawyer.
1518
01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:09,851
There's an extra form there transferring
the lease option over to my corporation.
1519
01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:12,928
I'm not the one the IRS is looking at.
1520
01:22:13,000 --> 01:22:16,607
But if you prefer to spend the next 12 months
in audit rather than Construction...
1521
01:22:16,680 --> 01:22:18,250
No, no, this is good.
1522
01:22:18,320 --> 01:22:20,004
- Thanks.
-Good.
1523
01:22:20,120 --> 01:22:21,406
Congratulations.
1524
01:22:21,480 --> 01:22:22,891
Amazing.
1525
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:26,404
It's nice when everyone gets what they want.
1526
01:22:26,480 --> 01:22:27,641
It hardly ever happens.
1527
01:22:27,720 --> 01:22:29,404
Well, almost everybody, I guess.
1528
01:22:29,480 --> 01:22:30,766
What do you mean?
1529
01:22:30,880 --> 01:22:32,166
- Well, your wife.
-Huh?
1530
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:34,049
Eleanor. You left your wife, right?
1531
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:37,522
God, no. No, Doug, she's my third wife.
1532
01:22:37,640 --> 01:22:39,130
You never leave your third wife.
1533
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:41,729
What about Andy?
1534
01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:43,564
Eleanor and I have an arrangement.
1535
01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:46,723
She forgives me my Andys,
and I agree never to divorce her.
1536
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:49,725
Your Andys?
1537
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:52,803
Is that a problem, Doug?
1538
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:57,331
No, Ithink that's
a swell arrangement, Christian.
1539
01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:59,050
Exactly.
1540
01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:00,889
JULIAN: Christian, let's go.
1541
01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:21,210
The Doug?
1542
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:23,724
Yeah, done deal.
1543
01:23:23,800 --> 01:23:25,165
That's great.
1544
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:27,004
So, when are you leaving?
1545
01:23:27,080 --> 01:23:28,684
Right from here. I can't wait.
1546
01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,285
Yeah, Italy will be nice.
1547
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:33,605
It'll be good for us.
No more sneaking around.
1548
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:35,606
Really?
1549
01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:38,290
He promised.
1550
01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:43,929
- Andy, uh...
-(KISSES)
1551
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:46,129
(CROWD CHEERING)
1552
01:23:46,280 --> 01:23:47,805
(APPLAUDING)
1553
01:23:53,520 --> 01:23:55,807
(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
1554
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:01,925
Thank you, Mr. Drinkwater. I'II be in touch.
1555
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,968
Just keep it coming...
1556
01:24:19,040 --> 01:24:20,246
- Who was that?
-(STARTS ENGINE)
1557
01:24:20,320 --> 01:24:21,890
He looks familiar.
1558
01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:23,803
That's just a man
who helps me out occasionally.
1559
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:25,405
No one you know.
1560
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:42,849
Hey, taxi! Yo!
1561
01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:52,006
MR. HIMMELMAN: Doug! Doug!
1562
01:24:52,080 --> 01:24:53,445
Oh, Doug!
1563
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:54,681
"Duck" you.
1564
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:04,849
- Please, please, please, please.
-GENE: I'm coming.
1565
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:06,604
- Oh, please, please, please.
-What?
1566
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:07,886
Oh, Doug.
1567
01:25:07,960 --> 01:25:10,486
Look, kid, this is not a good time.
Come back in two minutes.
1568
01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:12,403
I haven't got two minutes, Mr. Salvatore.
1569
01:25:12,480 --> 01:25:13,970
Now, I've always been very good to you.
1570
01:25:14,040 --> 01:25:16,691
- Yeah, so?
-The dogs, the jewelry.
1571
01:25:16,760 --> 01:25:20,162
- I got you those little "t'ings."
-WOMAN: Gene, I'm getting cold!
1572
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:22,368
- Look, Doug...
-You own United Carting, right?
1573
01:25:22,440 --> 01:25:24,647
So, what is it?
Your cousin, he wants to collect garbage?
1574
01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:27,087
- Fine.
-No, no, no. I, um...
1575
01:25:28,160 --> 01:25:30,003
I need a very big favor.
1576
01:25:37,040 --> 01:25:38,326
Taxi!
1577
01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:39,890
(HORNS HONKING)
1578
01:25:42,840 --> 01:25:44,080
Hope you brought a good book.
1579
01:25:46,320 --> 01:25:49,210
-(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
-(HORNS HONKING)
1580
01:25:51,720 --> 01:25:53,006
DOUG: Come on, Freddy, help me out here.
1581
01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:54,650
I got Miss Saigon, I
got Cats.
1582
01:25:54,720 --> 01:25:57,564
I got Les Mis,
I got the Grateful Dead at Nassau Coliseum.
1583
01:25:57,640 --> 01:25:59,404
The Dead? Why didn't you say so?
1584
01:26:03,760 --> 01:26:05,091
- Giddyap!
-(HORSE WHINNYING)
1585
01:26:06,640 --> 01:26:08,130
GiddyaP-
1586
01:26:08,200 --> 01:26:09,440
Hee-haw!
1587
01:26:12,240 --> 01:26:15,289
Oh, God!
1588
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,729
(SHOUTING)
1589
01:26:17,920 --> 01:26:19,251
(HORNS HONKING)
1590
01:26:20,040 --> 01:26:22,088
MAN: Come on! Get that truck out of here!
1591
01:26:23,760 --> 01:26:25,922
What's with this traffic?
1592
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:28,321
- The IRS.
-Where?
1593
01:26:28,400 --> 01:26:30,607
The guy you were talking to.
I just remembered where I saw him.
1594
01:26:30,720 --> 01:26:32,688
He's an IRS agent who was trailing Doug.
1595
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:34,444
Oh, yeah, Drinkwater.
1596
01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:35,885
He works for you?
1597
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:38,480
No, he works for the IRS.
1598
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:40,847
But sometimes when I need
someone nudged a little...
1599
01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:42,604
What do you mean?
1600
01:26:42,680 --> 01:26:45,445
I needed the option on that property
signed over to my name.
1601
01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:49,047
Drinkwater made it appear
expedient to Doug.
1602
01:26:49,760 --> 01:26:51,205
You tricked him?
1603
01:26:51,280 --> 01:26:53,601
- And here they come down the homestretch.
-(WHINNYING)
1604
01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:55,364
It's Gypsy Jill on the inside.
1605
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:58,165
A brilliant stretch run by the great filly.
1606
01:26:58,320 --> 01:26:59,401
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1607
01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:01,801
- Hey, listen, you want to trade?
-Trade?
1608
01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:03,928
- Take the horse. You'll love the horse.
-Horse?
1609
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:08,085
An opportunity came up, and I acted upon it.
That's all.
1610
01:27:08,200 --> 01:27:10,771
It's not in anyone's best interest
to Iet that property go to waste
1611
01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:12,888
in the hands of a bellhop.
1612
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:14,724
Come on! We're going to miss the flight!
1613
01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:17,280
It's his idea, it's his dream.
1614
01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:19,727
- Yo, mister, what gives?
-I can't...
1615
01:27:19,800 --> 01:27:21,848
You got 30 seconds
to get this truck out of here,
1616
01:27:21,920 --> 01:27:23,922
or you got a date with me
in the 22 precinct tonight.
1617
01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:26,082
Let's go! Move it out!
1618
01:27:26,160 --> 01:27:27,844
- Yo, let's go! Go!
-(HORN HONKING)
1619
01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:33,002
Move it out. Go, go, go!
1620
01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:35,651
Look, you don't tell me
how to run my business
1621
01:27:35,720 --> 01:27:37,290
and I won't tell you how to...
1622
01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:39,609
How to what, Christian?
1623
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:40,966
Tell me how to what?
1624
01:27:41,040 --> 01:27:42,610
To sing?
1625
01:27:44,240 --> 01:27:46,288
You've never even heard me sing.
1626
01:27:46,360 --> 01:27:50,206
I'm a very busy man.
Now, please spare me the tantrums.
1627
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:53,164
Just grow up, will you?
1628
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:55,921
Yes, Iwill, starting right now!
1629
01:27:56,040 --> 01:27:57,485
Andy. Andy.
1630
01:27:58,360 --> 01:27:59,850
Andy! Andy, come back.
1631
01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:02,363
AII right, I'm sorry! Please!
1632
01:28:03,520 --> 01:28:04,931
Andy!
1633
01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:07,484
Andy!
1634
01:28:25,520 --> 01:28:26,567
Andy!
1635
01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:28,286
Doug!
1636
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:30,609
- He's not leaving his wife!
-Don't sign.
1637
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:32,728
- It's a trick!
-I just thought you should know!
1638
01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:35,326
He's a crook. He wants to steal your property.
1639
01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:37,880
- DOUG: He doesn't deserve you!
-I thought I should warn you.
1640
01:28:38,240 --> 01:28:40,242
(BOTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
1641
01:28:43,560 --> 01:28:46,484
MR. WEGMAN: Hey, Doug.
Hey, we got a little mix-up here.
1642
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:48,483
l never got the watch box.
1643
01:28:48,560 --> 01:28:51,564
Yeah, you remember the jewehy guy
said l should mail myself the box
1644
01:28:51,680 --> 01:28:53,205
and then l would...
Anyway, l never got the box.
1645
01:28:53,280 --> 01:28:54,361
But I got the plans.
1646
01:28:54,440 --> 01:28:56,966
And boy, they are just spectacular.
1647
01:28:57,440 --> 01:28:59,761
- DOUG: Who is
this?
- Harold Wegman.
1648
01:28:59,840 --> 01:29:01,080
Harry Wegman. Don't you remember?
1649
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:03,731
Harry! Wow, this is a surprise.
1650
01:29:03,800 --> 01:29:06,610
Yeah, look, uh,
who do I make the check out to?
1651
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:08,842
I don't usually deal in Ioans this small,
1652
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:11,571
but, boy, a hotel like this
on Roosevelt Island?
1653
01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:12,687
It's too good to pass up.
1654
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:14,649
How did you get those plans?
1655
01:29:16,560 --> 01:29:18,562
Welcome to the Bradbury.
1656
01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:21,209
Never mind, Harry.
1657
01:29:21,280 --> 01:29:22,725
I figured it out.
124020