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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,384 Hey, little levitt, where, um... 2 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:10,153 Where are we putting these? 3 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,623 I take it that's your gift Of love for a needy child. 4 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,225 Uh-huh. 5 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,494 I guess you can put it Over there next to mine. 6 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,884 Oh. 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,466 So, uh, what exactly Did you select 8 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,701 For your lucky wretched urchin? 9 00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:28,104 It's just a little something That caught my eye. 10 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:29,940 Oh? 11 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,042 Well, it's, uh... 12 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:35,678 It's a set of hand-painted Miniatures imported from germany 13 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,882 Depicting the march Of the wooden soldiers. 14 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,817 Oh, of course. 15 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:43,819 Well, look, I Mean, it's just that, 16 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:46,456 You know, when I saw It all laid out there 17 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,060 In the store window with The litle gingerbread houses 18 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,861 The castle and forest, 19 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,831 And just row after row of these 20 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,634 Finely detailed Dragoons and fusiliers, I... 21 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:01,671 Well, I just thought That some poor kid might 22 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,708 Really treasure that old Bavarian craftsmanship 23 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,432 For a lifetime. 24 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,749 So, uh... What's in here? 25 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,172 Same thing. 26 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,491 All right. Come on. Come on. 27 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,493 Just a little further. Here we go. Right over here. 28 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,395 Come on. 29 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,097 All right. 30 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,832 I think I can let go Of your arm now. 31 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:34,805 Anytime you're ready. 32 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:36,907 Dietrich: come on, bruno. You know the way. 33 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,909 Come on! You got nothing on me. 34 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:42,245 There's no law that says a Man can't protect his store. 35 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,381 That's what you said The last time I busted you. 36 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:48,018 Well, excuse me For being boring. 37 00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,852 Merry christmas, bruno. 38 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,588 What's the matter, miller, huh? 39 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,190 You can't let a year go by Without dragging me in here? 40 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,925 Apparently not. 41 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,927 Wojo: uh, barn? 42 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,997 Barn, I want you To meet ed pratken. 43 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,200 - mr. Pratken. - hi, barn. 44 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,602 Uh, according to bruno, 45 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,204 When he opened up his Business this morning, 46 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:11,874 He found edward in the Middle of the campsite display 47 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,876 With a sleeping Bag under his arm. 48 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,345 I was putting it back. 49 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,546 - you were ripping me off! - bruno! 50 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,183 Take it easy. What's Bruno being arrested for? 51 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,684 Same old stuff... 52 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,087 Criminal possession Of a dangerous weapon 53 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,324 And assault with Intent to barbecue. 54 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,227 Well, see, when we got there, 55 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,464 He had edward on the Ground, squirming around. 56 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:38,502 He was poking him In the ribs with this. 57 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,737 It's a cattle prod. 58 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,739 I felt like I was Hit by lightning. 59 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,242 Come on. A couple of Hundred lousy volts. 60 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,611 My pigeons shrug that off. 61 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,579 Dietrich, take his statement. 62 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,236 This way, birdbrain. 63 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,639 Zzz! 64 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,455 I-I wasn't trying to Steal anything, honest. 65 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,058 What were you doing? 66 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,260 - sleeping. - hmm? 67 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,729 I'm usually up and out by 7:30, 68 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:10,233 But I guess I forgot To set my alarm. 69 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,701 You telling me you've Been living in my store? 70 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,504 Only at night. 71 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,274 He can't do that... Right? 72 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,109 Not anymore. 73 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,778 Uh, barn? 74 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,513 There's a disturbance in an Office building over on houston. 75 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,182 Uh, you and levitt. 76 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,317 Okay. 77 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:31,542 Come on, little Bit. We got a call. 78 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,424 Thank you. 79 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:37,526 Hey, carl, what should I do with my present? 80 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,263 Just stick it next To the box of nazis. 81 00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,287 Oh! 82 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,342 You know, I really Appreciate you guys 83 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:02,345 Busting me like this On christmas eve. 84 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:03,913 It's gonna louse Up my whole day. 85 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:07,283 What were you gonna Do, zap some carolers? 86 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,152 Why not? 87 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,021 I mean, if this night is Supposed to be so silent, 88 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,924 What are they out There singing for? 89 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,282 I don't know. 90 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,665 Paulette, what I was thinking is, 91 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:26,269 The way the snow's coming Down and everything, 92 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,706 It would just be a lot cozier To have dinner at my place. 93 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,711 Yeah. Okay. Good. 94 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,781 Look, I, uh, I got to go. 95 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,648 Talk to you later. 96 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,572 Bye. 97 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:50,059 So... You got a Place to live, huh? 98 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,928 Yeah, I do. 99 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,418 You're lucky. 100 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,867 Yeah, you know, edward, It's none of my business, 101 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:01,737 But it seems to me that... 102 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,739 You'd save yourself A lot of trouble 103 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:06,009 If you checked into a Mission or a flophouse 104 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,510 Or slept on the subways. 105 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,913 Oh, but that's Where the bums live. 106 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,881 I-I'm not a bum. 107 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,105 I mean, I got a job... 108 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,954 And I don't drink. 109 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,822 I like to read. 110 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,424 Really? 111 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:25,428 Yeah. I-I even had My own little place... 112 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:31,501 It was cozy... Until They kicked me out. 113 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,336 Who? 114 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,605 I guess the people That bought the building. 115 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:40,042 They kicked everybody out. 116 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,378 Okay, mr. Kellog, you Want to step in here, please? 117 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,413 Why not? I'm a has-been. 118 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,115 Where else am I gonna go? 119 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,117 The love boat? 120 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,052 What? 121 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,621 Sir, this is joseph kellog. 122 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,890 We picked him up at the loving Touch greeting-card company, 123 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,992 Running amok at their Annual christmas party. 124 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,594 I was upset. 125 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,095 By the time we got there, 126 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,398 Mr. Kellog was in the Process of decking the halls 127 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,835 With a barrage of deviled Eggs, while, at the same time, 128 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,704 Submerging kris kringle's head 129 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:10,139 In a punch bowl of Highly spirited grog. 130 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:13,843 Actually, I had had a Glass or two myself. 131 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,846 Overdoing the holidays A bit, mr. Kellog? 132 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,114 No. 133 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,849 They fired me. 134 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,951 I mean, I was standing in line 135 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:25,021 Waiting for santa to give Me my christmas bonus, 136 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,857 And the fat slob handed Me a sympathy card 137 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,492 With a pink slip in it. 138 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,495 Santa did that? 139 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,930 Well, you see, barn, 140 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,700 Mr. Kellog writes those Little poetic messages 141 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,435 In greeting cards. 142 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,070 Oh, you do? 143 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,072 They don't get there By themselves, pal. 144 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:47,843 I mean, I spent 25 years In that dusty cubicle, 145 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,912 Alone at my desk, 146 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:54,050 Composing lyrical verses And beautiful rhymes, 147 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:59,544 Like "May the new year Ring in joy and cheer." 148 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:06,151 "To a wonderful wife who's Brought happiness to my life." 149 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,932 "Have a nice day." 150 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,535 I wrote that! 151 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,871 So, you're the one? 152 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,408 Have a seat. 153 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,098 Go. Right over here. 154 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,114 Yeah? 155 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,017 Barn, I finished Processing pratken. 156 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,020 I checked him for Priors. He's clean. 157 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,756 And I don't think he was Trying to steal anything. 158 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,024 Oh? 159 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,928 See, I called the diner where He works as a dishwasher. 160 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,529 He's got a job? 161 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,598 He's not a bum, barn. 162 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,999 Sorry. 163 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,701 His boss said 164 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,872 That he may be a few Bricks short of a full load, 165 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:53,109 But that he's honest and He's a hardworking person. 166 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,978 Okay. 167 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:58,581 But pratken tells me that Him and about 50 other people 168 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,651 Got thrown out of this Little 25-a-week hotel 169 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,952 That was their home, 170 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,554 And now they're all Out on the street. 171 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:10,159 They can't find anyplace They can afford to live. 172 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,896 Put your finger there. 173 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,898 So if you stop and Think about it, barn, 174 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:19,102 It's all these marginal people, 175 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,970 You know, out on the street, 176 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,039 Just trying to survive, 177 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,609 Sleeping in Doorways, trash bins. 178 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:31,714 Wojo... Who did you call? 179 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,150 The guy from the... 180 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,676 From the human Resources administration. 181 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,191 Okay, good. 182 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,049 Don't play games with me, barn. 183 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:48,931 Eddie! 184 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:50,199 Dietrich: yes? Can I help you? 185 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,168 Where's our eddie? 186 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,136 - who? - eddie pratken. 187 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,072 You guys busted Him this morning. 188 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,075 Oh, yeah, yeah. Are You his parents? 189 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,543 - sam! - eddie! 190 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,813 Linda. I'm... I'm in jail. 191 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,015 Don't worry. We Are getting you out. 192 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,984 - you think so? - oh, sure! 193 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,652 Hey, goofy, what's With the rejects? 194 00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,554 Toilet back up? 195 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:13,990 Hey, we weren't talking to you. 196 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,557 Take a hike, scuzzo. 197 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,793 Watch your mouth, you scum. 198 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,562 Hey, everybody. What the hell? 199 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,497 I'm in here, and They're out there. 200 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,232 Knock it off, Bruno. Knock it off. 201 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,833 What seems to be the problem? 202 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:29,072 This is sam and linda. They were my neighbors. 203 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,207 Sir, suddenly we seem to have 204 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,109 A rather ugly situation Brewing downstairs. 205 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,745 A crowd of no less than 25 pathetic-looking people 206 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,581 Have converged upon our precinct 207 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,849 Protesting the Incarceration of mr. Pratken. 208 00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:45,053 You arrest our eddie Because he hasn't got a home. 209 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:52,061 You arrest us all because We haven't got a home. 210 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,685 It wasn't my idea. 211 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:04,140 Look, kogan, just try and keep Things calm down there, okay? 212 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,209 Barn, people are starting To pile up down there. 213 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,478 Oh, great. 214 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,313 Yeah, there's got to Be, what, 60 of them? 215 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,380 At least. 216 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,882 I was talking to This pregnant woman. 217 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,451 Word on the street is we're Giving free room and board. 218 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,620 What? 219 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:20,990 Rumors... Try and stop them. 220 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,492 - look, mister... - belinkoff. 221 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,693 Belinkoff. 222 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,362 I don't know what You and your friends 223 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,797 Are trying to accomplish By disrupting this precinct. 224 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,968 We are trying to make a point. 225 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,303 We are human beings, captain, 226 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:38,507 Not some pile of old clothes To be thrown in the dustbin 227 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,510 Just because the Styles have changed. 228 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,246 Very well put. 229 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,082 I was a tailor. 230 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,918 He fixed these pants. 231 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,420 We appreciate your problem. 232 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,423 We've got somebody coming Down from the city, right? 233 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,858 He said he was. 234 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,459 We will do everything we can 235 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,028 To try and resolve The situation, 236 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,797 See that everybody gets a place. 237 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,331 We'll see. 238 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,834 I would appreciate it if you Would come downstairs with me 239 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,603 And see if we can get a handle On what's going on down there. 240 00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,538 Après vous, captain. 241 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,441 - dietrich, you want To see if miss, uh... - linda. 242 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,910 Linda wants a cup of Coffee or something? 243 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:15,934 Dietrich: sure. 244 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,350 How do you take it? 245 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,719 Just give me the sugar. 246 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,842 All right. 247 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:31,382 Here we come with All the goodies. 248 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,630 Here you go, barn. 249 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,198 Where'd you get those? 250 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,133 Vending machine downstairs. 251 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,603 It's a good thing you Had all those quarters. 252 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,547 Well, we'll talk About that later. 253 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,029 It's a party. 254 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,745 Uh, yes? 255 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,881 There's no more room Downstairs, so we came up here. 256 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:57,207 Oh, um... Barney, Company's here. 257 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,289 Uh, sorry. 258 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,959 You want to just make yourselves At home over there, please? 259 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,228 You can, uh, you can Sit here with me, dear. 260 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,063 I don't want to. 261 00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,398 Oh. 262 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,134 I'm looking for my Husband, bruno bender. 263 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,904 Oh, I'm so sorry. 264 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,372 Everyone says that. 265 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,509 Hey, naomi. 266 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,911 Oh, bruno. 267 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,548 Why aren't you Watching the store? 268 00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,149 Oh. 269 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:30,052 Well, when I heard You were in jail, 270 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,988 I just decided to close. 271 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,212 You what?! 272 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,165 Can I help you? 273 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,168 I'm howard weckler, new york Human resources administration. 274 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,105 Oh, you're just a Bunch of do-nothings. 275 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,874 We've talked, right? 276 00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:55,645 I take it you're here in regard To all of the lonely people. 277 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,312 I guess so. 278 00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:01,250 Sir, city's here... A mr. Weckler. 279 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,318 Oh, how do you do? I'm captain miller. 280 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,121 This is sergeant wojciehowicz. 281 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,857 Yes, I think I spoke To one of you. 282 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:11,093 What seems to be the problem? 283 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,195 In case you haven't Noticed, mr. Weckler, 284 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,629 There are about 100 people 285 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:17,066 Wandering around the station House who have no place to live. 286 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,467 Is that all? 287 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,270 Captain, at last Count, our department 288 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:25,074 Puts the number of Homeless in this city at 50,000. 289 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,942 50,000? 290 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:31,313 You telling me that there's A whole army of these bozos 291 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:34,049 - roaming around out there? - yes. 292 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,751 And you ain't doing Nothing about it? 293 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,121 Well, w-w-we are making Every effort, and... 294 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,157 Why am I talking to you? 295 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,993 Because I happen to Be a taxpayer, sport. 296 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,394 Bruno, please, your heart. 297 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,896 Hey, I'm talking here! 298 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,333 Sheesh! 299 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:54,470 You know, I-I could Have left at noon. 300 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,960 My office. 301 00:14:58,964 --> 00:14:59,942 Sheesh! 302 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,844 - excuse me, mrs. Bender. - yes? 303 00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:05,080 If you want to take care Of your husband's bail, 304 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,015 Just go downstairs And see sergeant kogan. 305 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,017 Oh, thank you. 306 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,287 Be right back, bruno. 307 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,379 Take your time. I'm having fun. 308 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,329 Yes? Can I help you? 309 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,998 Arthur minch, 310 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,401 Loving touch Greeting cards, inc., 311 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,237 Wishing for a most Joyous holiday season 312 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,471 To you and yours. 313 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,408 Why, thank you. Guy You canned is in the cage. 314 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,199 Oh, good. 315 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,883 Hello, kellog. 316 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,819 Minch. 317 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,821 I should have known. 318 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:49,625 Pink slip in a sympathy card. 319 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,683 That's just your style. 320 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:59,435 Come here, you sick, Too-pathetic pile of dogmeat! 321 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,669 Yah! 322 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:04,373 What is the problem, kellog? 323 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,298 Wasn't santa good to you? 324 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,614 What, with rampant unemployment, 325 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,915 The city clamping Down on welfare, 326 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,884 Psychiatric hospitals All of a sudden 327 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,187 Going nuts over who's Crazy enough to get in... 328 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,622 These factors only serve To aggravate our problem 329 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:25,227 And dump even more of these People out on the street. 330 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:28,997 What's that got to do with Mr. Belinkoff and mr. Pratken, 331 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,666 Who were simply kicked Out of their rooms? 332 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,668 Nothing. 333 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,203 They're just victims of j-51. 334 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,972 Which is? 335 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,741 - the city's new Tax-abatement program. - oh. 336 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,377 It's all part of new york's plan 337 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,545 To revitalize old neighborhoods. 338 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:46,248 You see, with hefty Tax incentives in hand, 339 00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,617 Real-estate developers Started to buy up 340 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:52,954 Dilapidated properties, Seedy hotels, flophouses, 341 00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,156 Et cetera, many with a Splendid view of the river, 342 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,326 Then gut them, refurbish them, 343 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,194 And turn them into Contemporary condominiums 344 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,697 At 250 grand a pop. 345 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,832 Apparently, the city Forget about all those 346 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,102 Who were cut Loose in the process. 347 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,370 A quarter of a million dollars. 348 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,272 Who the hell can afford that? 349 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,274 - yeah, well... - I know I can't. 350 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,743 Every night, I got to slog home 351 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,012 To that leaky cracker Box up in bridgeport. 352 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,047 Backyard looking Like a rat's nest. 353 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,783 Garage is about to collapse. 354 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,319 My wife keeps harping on Me to panel the basement. 355 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,586 Mr. Weckler, we're talking 356 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,755 About those people out There and their problems. 357 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,190 - oh, right. - right. 358 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,549 Well... What do you suggest? 359 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,000 Here you go, eddie. 360 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,058 Oh. Thanks, linda. 361 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:46,008 So, you still Working at the diner? 362 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,132 Yeah. I'm doing real good. 363 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:52,448 Harry says maybe in A couple of months 364 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,949 He'll make me a bus boy, 365 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,585 Then I'll even get to share Tips with the waitress. 366 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,942 Hey, that would be great. 367 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:05,749 Uh, so... You still on heroin? 368 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,497 No, I quit. 369 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,732 That's great. 370 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,502 You quit hooking, too? 371 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,926 Yeah. Pretty much. 372 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:21,577 Guess maybe I got Two things off my back. 373 00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:24,968 That was kind of cute. 374 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,054 Gentlemen. 375 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,678 Well? 376 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,814 Well, mr. Weckler? 377 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,696 - we're still thinking. - oh! 378 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,132 - uh, barney. - yeah? 379 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,634 Under the circumstances, 380 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,736 I thought maybe I'd make a few calls. 381 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,737 Yeah? 382 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,772 The missions are all full up, 383 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:54,910 And the salvation army is Booked solid for the holidays. 384 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,767 Wonderful. 385 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,682 Actually, everyone seems 386 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,818 Pretty well settled In around here. 387 00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:07,089 Let me make a few calls. 388 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,958 Excuse me. 389 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,760 Are you the one in Charge of this madness? 390 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,828 Right. Captain miller. 391 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,497 Who the hell are you? 392 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,968 Arthur minch, loving Touch greeting cards, inc. 393 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,802 Oh, yeah, of course. 394 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,737 Watch him. He's poisonous. 395 00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:26,041 Well, sticks and stones... 396 00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:30,846 However, captain, the point Is, the greeting card industry 397 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,015 Has gone through A bit of a catharsis. 398 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:36,651 Where once our mainstay Was the sentimental slop 399 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:41,523 And turgid jingles at which Mr. Kellog was so adept, 400 00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,725 The markets have now splintered, 401 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,127 And we've become More specialized... 402 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,663 Humor and pornography, 403 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,698 Cards for singles and gays, 404 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,667 Religious and ethnic Groups, hostages. 405 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,736 Why are you telling me this? 406 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,207 I'm... Not quite sure. 407 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,475 At any rate, where do I sign? 408 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,933 This is the complaint. 409 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,881 Go ahead. Sign it. 410 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:09,618 Show them what kind of A snake you really are. 411 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,587 Okay. 412 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,923 You won't catch me buying One of your stinking cards. 413 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,725 Me, neither. 414 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,127 I write my own. 415 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,117 Well, whoop-de-do. 416 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,869 Well, captain, if There's nothing more... 417 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,539 Uh, no, I guess That's it, mr. Minch. 418 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,808 - have a merry christmas. - thank you. 419 00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:36,778 Captain! Good news. 420 00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:42,751 Unfortunately, our armory in Brooklyn is filled to capacity. 421 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,820 However, I did Manage to scrape up 422 00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:49,924 An old correctional Facility in the catskills. 423 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,294 It should accommodate Everyone nicely. 424 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,828 Catskills? 425 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,865 Of course, you'll all have to Provide your own transportation. 426 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,033 Wait a minute. 427 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,202 Captain, it's all academic. 428 00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,505 I just got off the Phone with dispatch. 429 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,641 - the city's snowed in. - you're kidding. 430 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,142 Nothing's moving. Cars, buses. 431 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,777 They're starting to Sleep at grand central. 432 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,178 Even the trains Aren't getting out. 433 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,780 What? 434 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,215 But... I live in connecticut. 435 00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:15,784 Not tonight. 436 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,441 Oh, god! 437 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,791 I got it, bruno. 438 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,292 It's about time. 439 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,294 - can we go now? - sure, you can. 440 00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:30,932 Captain, this is naomi Bender, bruno's wife. 441 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,300 Really? 442 00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,570 We were married just last month. 443 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,706 Oh, it wasn't in the papers. 444 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:40,175 Congratulations. 445 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:42,177 All right, bruno, you're out. 446 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,567 I'll get your stuff. 447 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,283 See ya, bruno. 448 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:50,151 It was nice sleeping In your store. 449 00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:51,887 Yeah, sure. 450 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,255 Oh, bruno, won't this be nice? 451 00:21:54,279 --> 00:21:56,058 Our first christmas together... 452 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:58,193 Just you and me, snowed in, 453 00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:00,195 A big turkey stuffed With sauerkraut, 454 00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,064 Just the way you like it. 455 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:03,848 Barney: here you go, bruno. 456 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:10,038 Hey, uh, miller, why Don't you just turn 457 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:13,041 Mr. Potato head Loose over there, okay? 458 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:16,044 Are you telling me You're dropping charges? 459 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:20,115 Well, he wasn't trying to Steal nothing, right, eddie? 460 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,950 Yeah. 461 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:24,753 Okay. 462 00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,409 You're free to go, eddie. 463 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,949 That's great. 464 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,698 Where am I going? 465 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:37,633 I don't know, eddie. 466 00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,757 He's coming home with me. 467 00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:42,604 He is? 468 00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:44,039 I am? 469 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,641 Why not? 470 00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,643 I mean, the little lady's 471 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:52,714 Gonna be spending half the Night in the kitchen, anyway. 472 00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:55,717 I got my choo-choo Set up in the den. 473 00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:59,254 So why don't you and Princess grace here 474 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:03,013 Just head on over? 475 00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:11,099 Unless you got some other ideas. 476 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:14,536 I can't even get a cab. 477 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,472 You sure it's okay With your wife? 478 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,273 Hey, sure, it is, right, toots? 479 00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:20,576 Oh, yes. I'd like that. 480 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,011 No one's ever been over. 481 00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:25,947 What about sam? 482 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,584 Eddie, go ahead And enjoy yourself. 483 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:32,988 We all will be fine right here. 484 00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:35,156 Won't we, captain? 485 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:39,382 Oh, uh... Hey, that's The spirit, miller. 486 00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:45,989 You're all right. 487 00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,512 Wojo: did anyone remember To unplug the coffee? 488 00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:59,047 Dietrich: yeah, I did. 489 00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:02,150 Barney: oh. Thanks. 490 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:05,587 Harris: come on, Who took my pillow? 491 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,423 Barney: good night, harris. 492 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,659 Wojo: merry christmas, barn. 493 00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:12,549 Barney: same to you, woj. 494 00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:18,967 Dietrich: I usually Sleep in the nude. 495 00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:20,691 Barney: thank you, dietrich. 496 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,475 Sam: good night, mr. Reckler. 497 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:27,798 Reckler: real funny. 498 00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:33,682 Levitt: merry christmas, sir. 499 00:24:33,706 --> 00:24:35,205 Barney: good night, levitt. 34781

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