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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,461
Stocks and bonds are moving higher...
2
00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:07,131
Why are we watching
the Business Channel?
3
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:11,260
Because the other day I saw there was
a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.
4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,430
Sometimes it takes two or three hours
before it comes up again.
5
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,349
But when it does, it's exciting.
6
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,061
Hmm, okay, honey,
you really need a job.
7
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,357
Dad says he knows someone
you can call for an interview.
8
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:29,236
Right there! That's the third
sign today. Right there.
9
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,699
On behalf of everyone,
I'd just like to say, "Huh?"
10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,661
No, you just said "dad. "
And everywhere I go today...
11
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,456
...I keep getting signs
telling me to go see my father.
12
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:43,876
Like when I was walking over here
and I passed a buffet.
13
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,337
Which is my father's last name.
14
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,256
Ah.
15
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,216
And they were serving franks...
16
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,927
...which is his first name,
minus the "s" at the end.
17
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,679
Yes.
All right.
18
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:59,683
And there was a rotisserie
with a spinning chicken.
19
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,478
His Indian name?
20
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:07,149
No. Because I chickened out
the last time...
21
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,361
...when I tried to meet him.
So coincidences? I don't think so.
22
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,864
- Very freaky.
- Eerie.
23
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,783
Who wants the last hamburger?
24
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,118
That's it.
Now I have to go see him, ha, ha.
25
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,411
Why?
26
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,831
Hamburger? McDonald's?
27
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,918
Old McDonald had a farm.
My dad is a pharmacist.
28
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,836
Ah.
29
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,426
Man, I am so beat.
30
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,178
Oh, yeah.
31
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,639
You wanna forget racquetball
and hang out?
32
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,391
Yeah, all right.
33
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:28,814
- Hey, you're in our seats.
- Oh, sorry, we didn't know.
34
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,649
Hey, we were sitting there.
35
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,986
Okay. There is one more way to say it.
36
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,863
- Who knows it? Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
37
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:42,077
- Is that supposed to be funny?
- Actually, I was going for colorful.
38
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,996
- What's with this guy?
- What's with you?
39
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,748
Uh, nothing. Nothing's with him.
40
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,375
Enjoy your coffee.
41
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,009
What just happened?
42
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,847
I just took your hat.
See, I can be funny too.
43
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,100
My joke is that I took your hat.
44
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,644
That is funny.
45
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,646
Can I have it back?
46
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,981
No.
47
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,151
- No?
- No.
48
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,778
Okay. Okay.
49
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,866
You know what?
I think you're very funny.
50
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,952
Kudos on that hat joke. Ha, ha.
51
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,999
But come on, guys,
just give him back the hat.
52
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,460
Why should we?
53
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,879
Because it's a special hat.
54
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,591
He bought it because
he was feeling down one day.
55
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,134
So he got the hat...
56
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,470
...to cheer himself up, you know?
57
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,557
- Now, Chandler...
- Stop talking. Stop talking now.
58
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,645
Let me get this straight.
You're stealing my hat?
59
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:50,896
You got a problem?
60
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,774
I just want to make sure
we're on the same page.
61
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,487
How'd the interview go?
62
00:03:58,696 --> 00:03:59,988
It bit.
63
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,325
It was a '50s theme restaurant.
64
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:07,079
I'd have to cook in a costume
and dance on the counter.
65
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,581
I was a sous-chef
at Café des Artistes.
66
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:14,294
How can I take a job where I have
to make Laverne-and-Curly Fries?
67
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,797
- Don't do it.
- How can I not do it?
68
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,799
I have $127 in the bank.
69
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,010
Monica, relax. Go get a beer.
70
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,512
I don't want a beer.
71
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,138
Who said it was for you?
72
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,771
Hi.
73
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,148
What's the matter?
74
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,527
Some mean guys at the coffeehouse
took my hat.
75
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,445
- No.
- You're kidding.
76
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,073
It was ridiculous.
These guys were bullies.
77
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,200
Actual bullies.
78
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,203
We're grownups. This kind of stuff
isn't supposed to happen anymore.
79
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,622
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
80
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,249
Oh...
81
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,043
Oh, no, wait a minute. I have no one.
82
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,466
Let's go down there
and get your hat back.
83
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:05,846
Forget it. It's probably stripped
and sold for parts by now.
84
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,891
- Hey. I went up!
- What?
85
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,437
My stock, MEG, it went up two points.
86
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,858
Do you realize that if I'd invested
my $127 in myself yesterday...
87
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:21,737
...that I'd, like, have
a lot more than that today.
88
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,823
You know what? I'm gonna do it.
89
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,035
- Do what?
- Put all my money in me.
90
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,079
You don't know a thing
about the stock market.
91
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,207
What's to know?
Buy, sell. High, low. Bears, bulls.
92
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,251
Yes, Manhattan.
93
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:38,712
Telephone number to the stock...
94
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,131
...selling store.
95
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,436
See? Didn't I tell you these pillows
would be a good idea?
96
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,897
Oh, God.
97
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,899
Here we go.
98
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,986
For the first time in my life,
I'm gonna say, "Hi, birth father!"
99
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,822
- We love you. We're here for you.
- Good luck.
100
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,074
Thanks.
101
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,621
Hey, Rach, you, uh,
want some sandwich?
102
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,123
Oh, what is in that?
103
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,501
Olive loaf and ham spread. No mayo.
104
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,587
No, because mayo,
that would make it gross.
105
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,508
Hey, hey... No, oh, oh, oh.
106
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,302
- Run, Phoebe, run.
- No, no, doggy, please!
107
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:31,098
I do so want to love all animals.
Please, no. Back off!
108
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,433
- You got a bone?
- Are you kidding?
109
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,727
Look, kibbles! Bits, oh!
110
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,940
Get the hell off my leg,
you yippity piece of crap!
111
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,737
Ooh.
112
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,449
Okay. All right. We have a problem.
113
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,494
Why don't you take his trampoline?
114
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,830
Okay, here, I know what we can do.
115
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:57,374
Hey. Hey. Hey, no!
116
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,961
Okay, doggy, get the sandwich! Aah!
117
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,631
Go get the sandwich!
Good doggy. Get the sandwich!
118
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,927
The dog will lick himself
but he will not touch your sandwich.
119
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,595
What does that tell you?
120
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,141
- Lf he's not gonna eat it, I will.
- Are you crazy?
121
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,103
Pheebs, he's just a little dog. Aah!
122
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,902
- Hey.
- What?
123
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,530
Do you have to be
a Century 21 real-estate agent...
124
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,741
...to get to wear those cool jackets?
125
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,580
Do you say this stuff to girls?
126
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,335
Hey, isn't that the guy
who used to wear your hat?
127
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,337
And look where they're sitting.
128
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:51,720
You're joking, right?
You guys just walked through the door.
129
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,181
- Maybe we didn't make it clear enough.
- Yeah.
130
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,058
This couch belongs to us.
131
00:07:57,226 --> 00:08:00,770
I'll tell you what, you call the couch...
132
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,273
...and then we'll call the couch...
133
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,526
...and we'll see who it comes to.
134
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,865
You know what I keep wondering?
Why you two are still sitting here.
135
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,825
All right, that's it.
136
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:16,036
I have had enough of this, all right?
137
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,621
Gunther.
138
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,999
These guys are trying
to take our seat.
139
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:25,170
Fellas, these guys were here first.
140
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,214
- Oh, sorry, didn't realize.
- Ahem.
141
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,715
There you go.
142
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,176
Thank you, Gunther.
143
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,805
We didn't want to have
to go and do that.
144
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,518
He told on us?
145
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,936
You told on us?
146
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,397
Well, pal, you didn't
give me much of a choice.
147
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,401
- Don't play with his thing.
- I know.
148
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,155
All right.
149
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,866
Let's take this outside.
150
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,746
"Let's take this outside"?
151
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,501
Who talks like that?
152
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:09,130
The guy who's about to kick your ass
talks like that.
153
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,675
- You had to ask.
- Yeah.
154
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,055
Okay, okay, look. See...
155
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,351
...the thing is,
we're not gonna fight you guys.
156
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,687
Here's the deal.
157
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:28,858
You won't have to, so long as you
never ever show your faces here again.
158
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:37,158
I think you played
the Gunther card too soon.
159
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,584
Hey, Pheebs, I think you're good to go.
160
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,544
Yeah, I don't know.
161
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,630
What's the matter?
162
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,300
I just think that this was
a really bad sign.
163
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,970
Like the beast at the threshold.
164
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:03,351
It's just I have no family left,
except for my grandmother.
165
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,479
But let's face it, she's not
gonna be around forever.
166
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,106
Despite what she says.
167
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:15,864
And I have a sister who I've barely
spoken to since we shared a womb.
168
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,199
I don't know. This is my real father...
169
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,202
...and I want things to be,
like, just right.
170
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,246
I completely understand.
171
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,998
Yeah, whatever you need.
172
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,293
Hey, you want to go home?
173
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,795
Okay, thanks. Sorry again.
174
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,067
What was that?
175
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:59,240
Uh, I'm guessing
the threshold's clear now.
176
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,497
I want to buy five shares of SGJ. Now.
177
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,208
Come on, time is money, my friend!
178
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,169
Thank you! Whoo!
179
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,296
"Time is money, my friend"?
180
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,173
You missed
"Takes money to make money"...
181
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:20,095
...and "Don't make me come down there
and kick your Wall Street butt. "
182
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:23,848
I made $17 before breakfast.
What have you done?
183
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:27,644
I had breakfast here,
so technically I saved $3.50.
184
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,563
How did you make $17?
185
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,066
Well, my financially
challenged friends...
186
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,653
...I split my money and I bought
some shares of CHP and ZXY.
187
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:38,738
How come those?
188
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:43,702
Well, CHP because I used to have
a crush on Erik Estrada.
189
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:48,748
And ZXY because I think
it sounds "zexy. "
190
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,084
Ahem, what happened to MEG?
191
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:53,712
MEG was good for me,
but I dumped her.
192
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:57,340
My motto is, "Get out before they go down. "
193
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,052
That is so not my motto.
194
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,642
- Hey.
Hey, Pheebs.
195
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,060
- Oh, hey, how's the dog?
- Yeah.
196
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,939
Okay. I talked to the vet.
People are so nice upstate.
197
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,609
He said the little fella's gonna be okay,
and I can get him tomorrow.
198
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,403
Good.
- Oh, thank God.
199
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,822
But he did have to have
a bunch of stitches.
200
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,701
And he said that only once in a blue moon
does a dog's ear grow back.
201
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:29,038
So still hoping.
202
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:35,628
Now are you gonna call your dad
to let him know that his dog is okay?
203
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,591
I don't want to meet my father
over the phone.
204
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,260
What will I say,
"Hi, I'm the daughter you abandoned.
205
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,096
Oh, by the way, I broke your dog. "
206
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,725
Hey, Pheebs, if you want, I'll do it.
207
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,018
Okay.
208
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:54,189
Listen, just don't say anything
about me, okay?
209
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,107
Don't...
210
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,360
...be too long with the phone.
211
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:04,324
She'll be a much better friend
once the market closes.
212
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:07,952
It's a woman.
213
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,579
So talk to her.
214
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,501
Uh, hello, Mrs. Buffay.
215
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,671
I know where your dog is.
216
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:22,717
I want you to know he'll be returned
to you almost as good as new...
217
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,386
...within 24 hours.
218
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,764
Uh, goodbye.
219
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,606
- Why the voice?
- Hard to say.
220
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,611
Your cappuccino, sir.
221
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,446
Thank you.
222
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,453
- This is better than the coffeehouse.
- Absolutely.
223
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,381
How come it's not mixing
with the water?
224
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,092
The package says to keep it moving.
225
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,803
Stir and drink, never let it settle.
226
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,102
This is ridiculous.
227
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:17,021
After I get back from
my niece's christening...
228
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:21,693
...I'll go to the coffeehouse with you
and we'll have a cup of coffee.
229
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,320
No problem. Joey's there, hmm?
230
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,407
- Okay.
- No.
231
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,284
- No?
- No.
232
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:34,414
I don't want to have to have Joey with me
every time I want decent coffee.
233
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:38,084
And I don't want to drink
cappuccino with a "k. "
234
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,462
I say you and I go
and stand up to those guys.
235
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,090
All right, hang on a second there, Custer.
236
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,136
Ross, have you ever
been beaten up before?
237
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,345
Yeah, sure.
238
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:52,682
- By someone besides Monica?
- No.
239
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:54,767
So what?
240
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:58,438
So we get beaten up. Maybe that's
something a man has to go through.
241
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,900
Like a rite of passage or something.
242
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,236
Couldn't we just lose
our virginities again?
243
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:09,115
Because I think actually
mine's growing back.
244
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,202
- I need $100.
- What?
245
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,622
Hi. Welcome home.
246
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,498
- I need $100.
- For what?
247
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,168
- To get back in the game.
- When did you get out?
248
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,338
- I lost it all, I lost it.
- Oh, no.
249
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,632
I've come to terms with it,
you have to too.
250
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:29,510
Okay.
251
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,097
Look, uh, Mon, I'm really sorry.
252
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,974
Where are we on the $100?
253
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,392
I don't have it.
254
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,394
But I need it!
255
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,356
Otherwise, I'll have to take that diner job.
256
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:46,569
You know, with the dancing
and the costumes.
257
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:52,200
I don't want to have to wear
flame-retardant boobs.
258
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,037
Nobody does, honey.
259
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,499
Hi.
260
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,000
Noodle!
261
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:05,630
Oh, my God. What the hell
happened to my dog?
262
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,048
It was an accident.
263
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:10,468
And the woman who did this
would never hurt a dog on purpose.
264
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,470
She's a vegetarian.
265
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,014
Are these stitches?
266
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,810
Yeah, eight of them.
That's 56 to him, ha, ha.
267
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:22,438
If it's raining, you can't
let him look up too long...
268
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,816
...because that cone
will fill up fast.
269
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,528
Well, uh, thanks for bringing back
what's left of him.
270
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,823
- Is Frank home?
- How do you know Frank?
271
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:35,034
Just from a long time ago. Is he here?
272
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,371
Yeah. Frank.
273
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,623
Yeah.
274
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,333
What?
275
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,420
Oh, okay, um, I mean Frank Senior.
276
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,879
He went out for groceries.
277
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,840
Will he be back soon?
278
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:52,719
He left four years ago.
We're expecting him back any minute.
279
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,055
I'm gonna go.
280
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,725
I'm sorry about the dog. Everything.
281
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,476
I'm sorry.
282
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,853
Hey, lady!
283
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,230
Hey, wait up!
284
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:12,113
- How do you know my dad?
- Um, well, I don't really.
285
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,366
Just genetically.
286
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,952
He's kind of my dad too.
287
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,454
Heavy.
288
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:20,955
Yeah.
289
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:25,626
So, um, did he ever
talk about me? Phoebe?
290
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,379
No, but he didn't really talk
about anything.
291
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,089
Oh.
292
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,216
Except stilts.
293
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,720
- Stilts?
- Yeah, he loved stilts.
294
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:39,891
One time, I was upstairs stealing
cigarettes out of my mom's purse...
295
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,894
...and, uh, all of a sudden
I look over...
296
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,897
...and there's Dad's head,
bobbing past the window.
297
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,777
He just had this big smile on his face
and he was waving...
298
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:53,821
...because he was happiest
when he was on his stilts.
299
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:57,950
- Wow.
- Yeah.
300
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,453
I don't know what to do with that.
301
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,663
- Me neither, ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
302
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,795
- So are you, like, my big sister?
- Yeah.
303
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,923
This is huge.
You can buy me beer, ha, ha.
304
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:15,009
- I'm not gonna.
- Oh.
305
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,888
But you know what's cool?
If you had a friend named Pete, I could say:
306
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,724
"I know Pete.
He's friends with my brother. "
307
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,478
- I got a friend named Mark.
- That'll work too.
308
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,230
Cool. All right.
309
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:32,318
So maybe, you know,
I could give you a call sometime.
310
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,195
We could talk or something.
311
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,405
- Yeah, that'd be okay.
- All right.
312
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:37,657
I'm in the book.
313
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,368
- Okay, yeah.
- Okay, all right.
314
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,623
So, um, stilts, huh?
315
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:50,294
If you want, I can show you where
he hit his head on the rain gutter.
316
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,296
Okay.
317
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,387
We did it. We're here.
We are standing our ground.
318
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,975
- How long does coffee take?
- Would you come on? Come on!
319
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,562
Thank you.
320
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:21,033
- There we go.
- I think we proved our point.
321
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,830
- You burn your mouth?
- Cannot feel my tongue.
322
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,170
Bullies! Big bullies!
323
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,882
Oh, look who's here. It's the weenies.
324
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,344
Did we not make ourselves clear
the other day?
325
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,929
That's why we're here.
326
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,682
Yes, we're standing our ground.
327
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,851
Apparently.
328
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,769
- Let's do this already.
Whoa, whoa.
329
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,062
You got a weapon?
330
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,065
A nice watch.
I don't want to break it on your ribs.
331
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,443
All right, let's do this.
332
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:01,824
Question: If I don't care about my watch,
can I use it as a weapon?
333
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,243
- What do you mean?
- It's sharp, it's metal.
334
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,246
I think I can do some
serious damage with it.
335
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,916
No, you can't use your watch.
336
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,292
Okay.
337
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,878
- Or your keys.
- Okay.
338
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,379
Here's what we'll do.
339
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:19,133
We'll put all keys and watches
in the hat over there.
340
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,551
- All right?
- All right.
341
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:25,223
All right, come on, man. Let's do it!
342
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,893
Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
343
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,978
Of course. Why wouldn't you hit faces?
344
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,440
I have to work on Monday.
I have a big presentation.
345
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,735
Actually, I gotta show
this apartment tomorrow...
346
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,948
...and, uh, this no-faces thing
might not be a bad idea.
347
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,825
Okay, nothing from the neck up.
348
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,577
All right.
349
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,829
Or the waist down.
350
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,499
- Dana's ovulating.
- Oh, really? You guys trying again?
351
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,167
Yeah.
352
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,629
Let me get this straight.
We're talking about the middle?
353
00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,506
- Come on!
- Hey, hey, whoa!
354
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,759
You want a piece of this?
I'm standing here!
355
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,427
- Huh!
Hey, hey.
356
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,971
Those guys are taking our stuff!
357
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:06,389
Hey, hey!
358
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,812
God, that was amazing.
That was incredible.
359
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,898
- You guys kicked butt!
- Us? What about you guys?
360
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,026
You really, bing, gave it to
old Mr. Clean back there.
361
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,570
- He was a big guy.
- Yeah, he was, wasn't he?
362
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,198
I wouldn't know,
having missed everything.
363
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,534
Oh, don't do that to yourself.
364
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,620
Any one of us could have tripped
over that little girl's jump rope.
365
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:36,294
So listen, guys, are we, uh?
366
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,170
Are we okay here?
367
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,465
- We're okay.
- Ha, ha, all right.
368
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,884
Okay, so can I have my hat back?
369
00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,013
No.
370
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,265
Huh.
371
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:01,736
Oh, my God. Look at her.
372
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,114
Hi, Monica!
373
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,033
Ha-ha-ha, how's it going?
374
00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,659
Hey, nice boobs.
375
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,454
Guys, guys. Check this out.
376
00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,090
Young man
377
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:29,138
I said, young man
Pick yourself off the ground
378
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,765
I said, young man
379
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,558
Excellent.
380
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,019
To be unhappy
381
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:45,529
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
28173
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