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- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Table for two under
McLintock, Mike McLintock.
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Uh, yes. The table is ready.
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We're clear. Bring in Sparrow.
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Listen, can I just reiterate once again
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00:00:32,462 --> 00:00:34,712
how really, really sorry I am?
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Wow! Oh, look at this. I
guess they like us, huh?
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00:00:38,268 --> 00:00:41,386
Hi. Wonderful. What were you saying?
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How really sorry I am. And I'm not
someone who loves to apologize.
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00:00:44,724 --> 00:00:47,308
Uh-huh, right, but you're
loving it now, aren't you?
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00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:48,693
Oh, loving it. Want another one?
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00:00:48,812 --> 00:00:50,979
- Yeah, I do.
- I'm really sorry.
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00:00:51,064 --> 00:00:53,815
- I'm really, really, really sorry.
- Now sing it.
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00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:56,951
The president and Mr. Baird
enjoyed a delicious dinner
15
00:00:57,037 --> 00:01:00,154
of blue crabs trapped by
local fisherman Steve Yerkes
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00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:02,874
and a cheese course including
"Basil Hayden" Blue
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00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:04,375
from Jasper Hill, Vermont.
18
00:01:04,494 --> 00:01:06,661
Mike, how is she able
to focus on the economy
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00:01:06,796 --> 00:01:08,580
if she's running around
with her new boyfriend?
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00:01:08,665 --> 00:01:12,417
The president has always placed great
value on fiscal responsibility.
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00:01:12,502 --> 00:01:14,802
In fact, as vice president,
she was chairman
22
00:01:14,888 --> 00:01:17,839
of the Meyer Postal Commission,
which reduced post office debt
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00:01:17,924 --> 00:01:21,392
from 65 billion to just over 62 billion.
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00:01:21,511 --> 00:01:24,012
Okay, Eagle. Well, I'll
see you in a few seconds.
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00:01:24,097 --> 00:01:25,647
Yeah, bye.
26
00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:27,932
All right, we got six
more votes this morning.
27
00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:30,234
- Whoo!
- We're never gonna close that gap.
28
00:01:30,353 --> 00:01:34,739
Well, on the less shitty side, people are
really loving you and Charlie Baird.
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00:01:34,858 --> 00:01:36,608
Even Wall Street's got
a boner for you guys.
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00:01:36,693 --> 00:01:38,359
- Really? The market's up?
- No, it's flat.
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00:01:38,495 --> 00:01:40,411
But not down is straight
up for us at this point.
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00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:43,915
Madam President, we have received
word that Chinese hackers
33
00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:46,534
have now breached the National
Security Council servers.
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I got a great idea. Why
don't we give the Chinese
35
00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:50,588
their own log-ins and passwords?
36
00:01:50,707 --> 00:01:52,790
Okay? Save everybody a lot of time.
37
00:01:52,876 --> 00:01:57,045
Ma'am, the FDA is monitoring a salmonella
outbreak at a Missouri chicken farm.
38
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,464
- Got a few fowl questions.
- What?
39
00:01:59,549 --> 00:02:01,215
Also from the comms department,
40
00:02:01,301 --> 00:02:03,184
multiple mentions of tomorrow's trip
41
00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:04,886
to the Museum of Natural History
42
00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:07,021
in New York City with Mr. Charlie Baird.
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00:02:07,107 --> 00:02:09,857
Huh, not bad. Phone.
44
00:02:09,943 --> 00:02:12,143
Oh, listen to this.
45
00:02:12,228 --> 00:02:15,613
Charlie says O'Brien won't go down on
his wife without biscuits and gravy.
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00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:19,867
Hey, can you show me
how to find on Twitter
47
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:22,570
those tweets where people were
gushing about me and Charlie?
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00:02:22,656 --> 00:02:24,288
Oh, yeah. You see this
button right here?
49
00:02:24,407 --> 00:02:27,575
Okay, so listen,
certification is tomorrow.
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00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:29,460
I mean, seriously, do we have any reason
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00:02:29,579 --> 00:02:32,163
to think that we're not as
fucked as a Senate page here?
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00:02:32,248 --> 00:02:35,383
Actually, ma'am... I'm sorry I'm late...
I think I may have found something.
53
00:02:35,468 --> 00:02:39,754
The voting data in Nevada is multiple
standard deviations outside the means.
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00:02:39,839 --> 00:02:41,589
Christ, Kent, know your audience.
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00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:43,891
I think that there is
statistical evidence
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00:02:43,977 --> 00:02:45,760
of missing ballots in Nevada.
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00:02:45,845 --> 00:02:47,345
- Where?
- I do not know.
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00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,930
- How many?
- I do not know.
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00:02:49,015 --> 00:02:50,932
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
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00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:52,517
Graydon Carter is begging
for a photo spread
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00:02:52,602 --> 00:02:54,769
of you and Charlie Baird
in "Vanity Fair."
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00:02:54,854 --> 00:02:58,106
Hey, Garfield, we're right in the
middle of talking about Nevada, okay?
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00:02:58,241 --> 00:02:59,657
Kent, what can you tell us?
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00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:02,193
I might be able to
pinpoint the vote anomaly
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00:03:02,278 --> 00:03:05,913
if I could break down confounding
variables using an intercept model.
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00:03:05,999 --> 00:03:09,117
What Alan Turing is trying to say
is if there are missing votes,
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00:03:09,202 --> 00:03:10,752
- he needs time to find them.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:03:10,837 --> 00:03:12,837
All right, then we have to delay
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00:03:12,956 --> 00:03:14,622
the certification of the recount.
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00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,424
Exactly my thought, ma'am.
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00:03:16,509 --> 00:03:18,593
I could have the lawyers
file an injunction.
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00:03:18,628 --> 00:03:21,295
- Bob, what do you think?
- I think it's a weak case.
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00:03:21,431 --> 00:03:23,848
Let me just take a meeting
with Jim Whitman.
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00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:26,300
And after I'm done dick slapping him,
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he will have agreed to
delay certification.
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00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:31,723
- Amy, set it up.
- The injunction or the dick slapping?
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Christ, Amy, the meeting.
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All right, gonna have to start
chumming the media waters.
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00:03:36,529 --> 00:03:38,196
I want you to get me on the horn
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00:03:38,314 --> 00:03:40,815
with Ned Mitchell from
the "Las Vegas Gazette"
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00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,817
and Susan Bailey with the "Reno Star."
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00:03:42,902 --> 00:03:45,787
Amy, set it up. Sue Bailey,
the "Reno Star," everything.
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00:03:45,872 --> 00:03:47,538
Madam President, who would you say
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00:03:47,657 --> 00:03:50,658
would be your best person to be
at that meeting as my number two?
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00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:52,043
- I could.
- Richard.
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00:03:52,162 --> 00:03:53,711
Oh, well.
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00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:56,631
Okay, listen, I need to
talk to Bob privately,
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00:03:56,716 --> 00:03:58,132
so everybody get out, please.
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00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,218
- Even...
- Yeah-huh.
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00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:05,339
Bob, I am going crazy here in DC.
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00:04:05,425 --> 00:04:07,341
I just... I feel trapped
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00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,010
like a Saudi housekeeper.
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00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:12,430
Is there any way I could get to Nevada?
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00:04:12,515 --> 00:04:14,599
Just let me win the presidency for you
95
00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:17,518
and then you can land Air
Force One on the Strip
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00:04:17,654 --> 00:04:19,403
and piss in Caesar's
fountain if you want.
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00:04:19,522 --> 00:04:21,522
Oh, come on, please, Bob, I
would never stay at Caesar's.
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00:04:21,658 --> 00:04:23,524
Yes? What?
99
00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:25,693
Ma'am, weekly CIA briefing.
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00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:27,528
See? Crapistan's calling.
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00:04:27,614 --> 00:04:29,697
That's what I'm talking about.
I'll talk to you later, though.
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00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:32,033
Catherine, do not use any
of the vulgar parts.
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00:04:32,118 --> 00:04:33,701
Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom.
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00:04:33,787 --> 00:04:35,870
- Well, then don't use it.
- But it's a doc.
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00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:38,673
- A what?
- A documentary.
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00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:40,842
Then say that.
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Never heard back from you.
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Late night?
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00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:53,688
Sophie told you?
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00:04:53,773 --> 00:04:55,723
What?
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00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:57,225
No.
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00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:59,143
Gross.
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You didn't tell me she worked for CBS.
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00:05:03,399 --> 00:05:04,982
Oh!
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00:05:05,068 --> 00:05:07,318
Oh, this is too good.
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00:05:07,403 --> 00:05:10,204
Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS.
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00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,740
She works for CVS.
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00:05:12,826 --> 00:05:14,792
You sold your dick for bulk iced tea
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00:05:14,911 --> 00:05:16,494
and off-brand cough syrup.
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00:05:16,579 --> 00:05:17,829
Don't worry.
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00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:20,047
You're gonna look really
cute in a blue vest.
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00:05:21,668 --> 00:05:23,501
I am not having a good year.
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00:05:25,255 --> 00:05:27,672
Unfortunately, ma'am,
the man we captured
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00:05:27,757 --> 00:05:30,091
is not, in fact, Abdullah Saeed.
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00:05:30,176 --> 00:05:31,926
Do the Israelis know
anything about this?
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00:05:32,061 --> 00:05:33,928
Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks.
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00:05:34,013 --> 00:05:35,730
Excuse me one second, ma'am.
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00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:43,938
So Mike McLintock, tonight for 8:30.
Thank you.
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00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:46,941
Sorry, Kent, Salt and
Moon, new restaurant.
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00:05:47,076 --> 00:05:49,327
Impressive. How did you
secure a reservation there?
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00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:51,996
Well, Sue uses my name
for POTUS reservations,
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00:05:52,115 --> 00:05:54,365
so when I call, I get an amazing table.
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00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,833
I'm back on food.
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00:05:55,952 --> 00:05:58,419
Doctor says the cleanse
caused no lasting damage.
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00:05:58,504 --> 00:06:02,123
@POTUS is tweeting?
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00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:04,375
I'm the only one who's
supposed to send her tweets.
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00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:07,962
"Ha, ha, ha, @RealCharlieBaird.
Here's one for you now."
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00:06:08,097 --> 00:06:09,931
The president is tweeting.
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00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:11,682
She's tweeting?
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00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:17,188
Sorry, just... I just have to go in.
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00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:17,991
The president has to...
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00:06:18,016 --> 00:06:19,414
I can't let you in
there, sir, I'm sorry.
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00:06:19,475 --> 00:06:21,475
Please, Marjorie, please. I
have to talk to the president.
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00:06:21,611 --> 00:06:23,361
- Please take a step back.
- Look, please.
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00:06:23,479 --> 00:06:24,979
Oh, no.
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00:06:26,065 --> 00:06:27,315
- Uh, ma'am.
- Yes?
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00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,317
It turns out our prisoner's name
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is Abdullah Faeed, a
local schoolteacher.
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00:06:32,121 --> 00:06:34,155
What is he doing?
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00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:36,157
- What is that?
- Beats me.
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00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:38,326
Hi, ma'am. If you hear
this, do not tweet.
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00:06:38,411 --> 00:06:41,329
- Please, stop... ma'am?
- Mike, what are you doing?
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00:06:41,414 --> 00:06:42,997
- You tweeted.
- What?
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00:06:43,082 --> 00:06:44,465
About O'Brien. It wasn't nice.
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I just direct messaged Charlie.
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00:06:46,302 --> 00:06:49,170
No, it was public. Everybody
saw it on Twitter.
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00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:50,805
- No, they didn't.
- What did you tweet?
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00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:53,174
What? It was just some
funny joke I was just...
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00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:55,760
- Oh, shi...
- I pushed that feather button.
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00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:58,312
I know, you tweet... that's a tweet.
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00:06:58,398 --> 00:07:00,264
- That's a tweet.
- Well, then delete it!
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00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,066
- Delete it!
- Just delete it!
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00:07:02,185 --> 00:07:04,018
- Delete it!
- Hey, hey, hey!
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00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:06,270
- What? Okay.
- Not here.
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00:07:08,441 --> 00:07:11,359
Gary, I did it the way
you showed me to do it.
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00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:13,661
But that's not the way
I showed you to do...
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00:07:13,746 --> 00:07:16,697
That's exactly the way that
you showed me to do it.
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00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:18,082
Do you want me to show you again?
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00:07:18,201 --> 00:07:19,867
I'll tell you what I want you to do.
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00:07:19,953 --> 00:07:21,252
Nothing, okay?
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00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:23,120
That's your punishment. Get out.
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00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:24,789
Okay, I'll just go make some tea.
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00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,374
You better not.
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00:07:26,509 --> 00:07:30,795
The Swedish prime minister just
retweeted your tweets with an LOL.
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00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,298
Well, what the FOL are we
supposed to do about this?
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00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:36,100
I suggest that we disavow the tweets.
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00:07:36,219 --> 00:07:37,935
Phones are hacked all the time
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00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:40,438
to steal pictures of celebrities'
penises and whatnot.
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00:07:40,556 --> 00:07:42,690
- Oh, my God.
- Hold that thought, Kent.
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00:07:42,775 --> 00:07:44,892
Madam President, are
you sure you did this?
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00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:46,727
What do you mean, am I sure?
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00:07:46,863 --> 00:07:49,814
Well, maybe the White House computers
aren't as secure as we think.
183
00:07:49,899 --> 00:07:52,733
Maybe the firewalls
have more holes in them
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00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:54,151
than a gold digger's diaphragm.
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00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:56,070
My God, I hated those things.
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00:07:56,205 --> 00:07:57,788
Wait a minute.
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00:07:57,907 --> 00:08:01,375
- There was a breach earlier today.
- Mm-hmm.
188
00:08:01,461 --> 00:08:04,912
Oh, my God, and maybe that
breach concerned those tweets.
189
00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:06,028
Maybe it did.
190
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,990
Oh, my God, maybe you had
nothing to do with it.
191
00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:11,302
Oh, my God.
192
00:08:11,421 --> 00:08:13,504
In that case, China would be blamed
193
00:08:13,589 --> 00:08:17,141
for your messages going public, maybe.
194
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,260
So is that what I think happened?
195
00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:20,928
That China tweeted this?
196
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:24,515
Oh, no, ma'am, no. You have
no idea what happened.
197
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,818
And neither does Mike, who
would be outraged by this.
198
00:08:27,937 --> 00:08:29,403
Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea.
199
00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:31,188
No, you don't, Mike.
History has proven that.
200
00:08:31,274 --> 00:08:33,774
Now, let me just run this by Bob
201
00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:36,027
and see if he thinks blaming
China is a good idea.
202
00:08:36,112 --> 00:08:38,946
- This can't leave this room.
- Can or can't?
203
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:40,448
- It cannot, Mike.
- Not!
204
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:41,749
Why don't you just tell the truth?
205
00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,920
- I don't sound like that.
- That's exactly how you sound.
206
00:08:46,005 --> 00:08:47,538
- No, I don't.
- Spot-on.
207
00:08:47,623 --> 00:08:49,040
Yeah, it's pretty close.
208
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,674
I don't know where you
get that impersonation.
209
00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:53,377
Ma'am, you have to make a decision now.
210
00:08:53,463 --> 00:08:56,263
I mean, can I really
blame another country
211
00:08:56,349 --> 00:08:57,965
for something they didn't do?
212
00:08:58,051 --> 00:08:59,850
It's been the cornerstone
of American foreign policy
213
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,802
since the Spanish American War.
214
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:05,639
This morning the White House
cybersecurity was breached
215
00:09:05,775 --> 00:09:08,442
by what the NSA has come
to believe was a hack
216
00:09:08,528 --> 00:09:10,611
that originated in mainland China.
217
00:09:10,696 --> 00:09:14,315
Mike, Mike, what about the president's
tweet about Senator O'Brien?
218
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,816
The president was horrified.
219
00:09:15,902 --> 00:09:20,287
Horrified by this latest
violation of cybersecurity.
220
00:09:20,373 --> 00:09:23,908
The president believes
cybersecurity is paramount
221
00:09:23,993 --> 00:09:26,794
for the United States' future survival.
222
00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:30,331
Kent, any progress on the ballots?
223
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:33,501
I've eliminated eight counties
as potential locales,
224
00:09:33,636 --> 00:09:35,086
but there's no way around my doing
225
00:09:35,171 --> 00:09:37,471
a district-by-district
regression analysis.
226
00:09:37,557 --> 00:09:40,174
Are we paying you by the word
here, Kent, or what? Ben?
227
00:09:40,259 --> 00:09:43,177
He needs more time. Ma'am, we
got O'Brien on a live feed.
228
00:09:43,262 --> 00:09:45,479
Oh, boy. Well, we knew this was coming.
Let's hear it.
229
00:09:45,565 --> 00:09:49,433
I will not dignify the president's
petty remarks with a response.
230
00:09:49,519 --> 00:09:50,734
And yet he's responding.
231
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:52,353
I do, however, want to point out
232
00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:54,155
that over 29 million people
233
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,607
suffer from various forms of diabetes.
234
00:09:56,692 --> 00:10:00,027
- Oh, who cares?
- What truly troubles me, however,
235
00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:02,746
is President Meyer's timid response
236
00:10:02,865 --> 00:10:05,416
to a clear act of aggression.
237
00:10:05,535 --> 00:10:07,785
Did you just see that? Okay?
238
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,537
We're gonna have to do
something about China now.
239
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:11,455
- No, you don't, ma'am.
- I need to look strong.
240
00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:13,624
- If we lose Nevada...
- "Nev-add-a."
241
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:16,510
...O'Brien is gonna kill us in
the House over this China thing.
242
00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:18,546
In reality, ma'am, China...
243
00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:20,714
In reality? I know reality, Ben.
244
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:23,050
You're the one who suggested
we all live in the Matrix.
245
00:10:23,186 --> 00:10:25,462
Ma'am, nobody chose
to live in the Matrix.
246
00:10:25,487 --> 00:10:26,244
What?
247
00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:29,056
The machines rose up and
placed humans in the Matrix
248
00:10:29,142 --> 00:10:31,609
so they could use them as a
biological power source.
249
00:10:31,727 --> 00:10:34,728
- Whose side were you on?
- What about targeted sanctions?
250
00:10:34,864 --> 00:10:37,314
That will send a message of
real strength, won't it?
251
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,734
Or we could go to the United
Nations and have them issue...
252
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:44,205
Have them what? Have them help us
park in front of a fire hydrant?
253
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,623
I mean, come on.
254
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:48,209
Ma'am, your focus now
should be on Nevada.
255
00:10:48,294 --> 00:10:50,961
I'm president, in case you forgot.
256
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,964
I know what I should focus on.
257
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,583
Sorry, ma'am.
258
00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,172
Jesus, you're still here?
259
00:11:01,257 --> 00:11:03,057
I don't know why. My
only jobs seem to be
260
00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:05,476
asking Bob and finding
out what Bob thinks.
261
00:11:05,595 --> 00:11:07,645
Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch.
262
00:11:07,763 --> 00:11:09,647
So you want to grab a
drink or something?
263
00:11:09,765 --> 00:11:11,932
No, thanks.
264
00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:14,318
Oh, but on your way,
would you mind stopping
265
00:11:14,437 --> 00:11:16,270
at ABC News and picking up some Advil?
266
00:11:16,405 --> 00:11:18,322
Oh, did I say ABC News?
I meant Rite Aid.
267
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:19,857
Yeah, I think you're
forgetting something, Amy,
268
00:11:19,942 --> 00:11:22,359
is that I still had sex
with your sister, so...
269
00:11:22,445 --> 00:11:24,662
Good night, have a pleasant evening,
270
00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:26,780
and I had sex with your sister.
271
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:30,584
You might actually want to go
to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex.
272
00:11:35,208 --> 00:11:36,874
Dan?
273
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,684
- Hello?
- Oh!
274
00:11:46,802 --> 00:11:48,636
Bob, I didn't know you were still here.
275
00:11:48,771 --> 00:11:50,354
Yeah. When's the meeting?
276
00:11:50,473 --> 00:11:52,098
The Whitman meeting's
tomorrow afternoon.
277
00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:52,664
Tomorrow.
278
00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:55,893
You might want to go to your
hotel and get some sleep.
279
00:11:55,978 --> 00:11:58,445
No, I got some more work to do.
280
00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,064
You have a good one, Jamie.
281
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:07,037
Mike McLintock.
I have a reservation.
282
00:12:07,156 --> 00:12:09,490
The McLintock party has
already been seated.
283
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,660
No, no, that's impossible
'cause he's Mike McLintock.
284
00:12:12,745 --> 00:12:14,328
Show her your driver's license.
285
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,664
- I can't find it.
- Again?
286
00:12:16,749 --> 00:12:19,383
Uh, where exactly is
the McLintock party?
287
00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:20,751
Right over there.
288
00:12:22,338 --> 00:12:24,388
This is my table.
289
00:12:24,507 --> 00:12:26,340
And this is my fat johnson
and you can suck it
290
00:12:26,425 --> 00:12:29,093
as long as you promise not to put
your dirty gay mustache on it.
291
00:12:29,178 --> 00:12:31,145
What is that, some kind of side
effect from your AIDS medication
292
00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:33,347
or did you shave it off of
Freddie Mercury's corpse?
293
00:12:33,482 --> 00:12:35,899
Now, if you don't mind, I'd like
to enjoy my bay scallop gateau.
294
00:12:36,018 --> 00:12:40,070
You, you're a bald jerk.
Pardon me, Mrs. Furlong.
295
00:12:40,189 --> 00:12:42,489
Jesus, you think I married that?
296
00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:43,691
That's Will's wife.
297
00:12:43,826 --> 00:12:45,359
Hi, Mike. It's good to see you.
298
00:12:45,444 --> 00:12:47,027
This is my wife Mary.
299
00:12:47,163 --> 00:12:48,912
The congressman was kind enough
300
00:12:49,031 --> 00:12:50,864
to take us out to dinner
on our anniversary.
301
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,200
- Hello.
- I guess Will likes them old.
302
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,336
Why don't you fuck off
back to Burger King?
303
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:57,788
- Happy anniversary.
- Hi, Wendy.
304
00:12:57,873 --> 00:12:59,456
We're going. We're going.
305
00:12:59,542 --> 00:13:01,258
Christ, she looks like a Batman villain.
306
00:13:01,377 --> 00:13:03,794
What'd Dopey get you
for your anniversary?
307
00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,213
And when I'm president,
308
00:13:06,299 --> 00:13:09,099
we will defend our digital borders
309
00:13:09,218 --> 00:13:14,388
just as diligently as we
defend our physical ones.
310
00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:16,974
Yeah, can I get a secure line?
311
00:13:17,059 --> 00:13:19,276
Bradley.
312
00:13:19,395 --> 00:13:21,445
Bob, oh, God, I
hope I'm not waking you.
313
00:13:21,564 --> 00:13:23,147
No, no, I'm always awake.
314
00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:25,532
Great. So this China thing.
315
00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:27,951
They did hack us,
316
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:32,573
but they didn't exactly
hack my Twitter account.
317
00:13:32,658 --> 00:13:35,042
- Say no more, Madam President.
- Oh, God, I knew it.
318
00:13:35,127 --> 00:13:37,077
I knew you would understand, Bob.
319
00:13:37,163 --> 00:13:39,580
It is so nice to finally be
talking to a professional here.
320
00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:42,750
This is how I see it, okay?
If I'm soft on China,
321
00:13:42,885 --> 00:13:44,501
I'm gonna get killed in the House.
322
00:13:44,587 --> 00:13:46,470
Your instincts are telling
you you should be strong.
323
00:13:46,589 --> 00:13:49,006
Yes, you think my instincts are right?
324
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:50,641
Does a bear piss in the shower?
325
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,559
- You should lead.
- I'm the leader.
326
00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:54,978
- You caught the fish, now gut the fish.
- Gut the fish.
327
00:13:55,064 --> 00:13:57,598
You're wearing the fireman's
hat, now put out the fire.
328
00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:01,235
- Yes! This is better than phone sex.
- Well, I just came.
329
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,604
Forget threatening sanctions.
330
00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:06,523
I should call on Congress
directly to levy them.
331
00:14:06,609 --> 00:14:08,192
That's a bold move, Madam President,
332
00:14:08,277 --> 00:14:10,110
and one that'll only earn you respect.
333
00:14:10,246 --> 00:14:12,162
Bob, thank you so much.
334
00:14:12,281 --> 00:14:14,114
Well, I'll be around for the next
335
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,117
five to six hours if you
need anything else.
336
00:14:18,371 --> 00:14:20,954
That is why today I am announcing
337
00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:23,924
a set of unilateral sanctions
338
00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:27,010
starting with the freezing of all assets
339
00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:30,297
associated with the
Chinese state-sponsored
340
00:14:30,383 --> 00:14:33,133
cyberespionage apparatus.
341
00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:36,603
Thank you.
342
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:43,143
Well, that seems to have
shut O'Brien up, huh?
343
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:45,813
- There's a new stegosaurus.
- That's not my problem.
344
00:14:45,898 --> 00:14:48,365
- Absolutely, ma'am.
- Right. Hey, Amy.
345
00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:50,534
You all set for today's meeting?
346
00:14:50,653 --> 00:14:52,736
Ma'am, have you noticed...
347
00:14:52,822 --> 00:14:55,239
God, please back up
your face, Amy, okay?
348
00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,824
Back it up.
349
00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:59,326
Have you noticed anything
weird about Bob?
350
00:14:59,412 --> 00:15:01,044
He was acting a little off last night.
351
00:15:01,163 --> 00:15:02,629
That's just Bob being Bob.
352
00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:04,498
No, I know what this is about.
353
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:08,385
Amy, you know that you are very
important to the campaign, right?
354
00:15:08,504 --> 00:15:09,699
- No, this is not...
355
00:15:09,724 --> 00:15:12,530
- No, Amy, listen, you
are doing a great job.
356
00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:16,260
A great, great, very good job.
357
00:15:16,345 --> 00:15:18,896
Ben, tell Amy what a great
job that she's doing.
358
00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:20,347
One heck of a job, Amy.
359
00:15:20,483 --> 00:15:22,816
If the Eagle told you that
the Eagle was acting odd,
360
00:15:22,902 --> 00:15:24,184
- would you listen to him?
- Yeah.
361
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,769
You got to trust the Eagle.
362
00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:28,822
Why? Did he say something to you?
363
00:15:28,908 --> 00:15:31,191
Is everybody's cell phone off?
364
00:15:31,277 --> 00:15:33,360
Yeah. Those things cause
cancer, you know.
365
00:15:33,496 --> 00:15:35,552
That's what I hear.
Good to see you, Bob.
366
00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:36,604
Good to see you.
367
00:15:36,699 --> 00:15:38,999
- Been a while, huh?
- Yeah, it has indeed.
368
00:15:39,084 --> 00:15:42,870
I think the last time was at
your ski cabin with your wife.
369
00:15:43,005 --> 00:15:44,872
I still got the cabin.
370
00:15:47,176 --> 00:15:51,094
So, Bob, neither of us have time to
waste with the certification so close.
371
00:15:51,213 --> 00:15:52,379
What's on your mind?
372
00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:54,548
What we have here is a classic thumb
373
00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:57,885
in the apple pie situation
and Grandma is mad as hell.
374
00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,720
- She spent all day cooking...
- Look, Bob. Bob.
375
00:15:59,805 --> 00:16:02,689
We all know you're as folksy
as a butter churn lamp,
376
00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:04,525
but let me cut to the chase.
377
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:06,727
From where I'm sitting, my boy's ahead.
378
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:10,647
If you're here to beg for more time,
take your cup and cane elsewhere.
379
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:13,901
Hold that thought.
380
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,549
- The gown is just gorgeous.- I know.
381
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,217
- Did this come from India?
- I don't know. Did you get it?
382
00:16:30,302 --> 00:16:32,669
Just all of this just
screams Grace Kelly.
383
00:16:32,755 --> 00:16:34,338
- I know.
- Charlie is gonna flip.
384
00:16:34,423 --> 00:16:35,973
- I don't like my eyes, though.
- What?
385
00:16:36,091 --> 00:16:38,725
Yeah, I feel like I've got
two diaper bags underneath.
386
00:16:38,811 --> 00:16:40,844
- No, no, no, no. I don't think...
- Oh, God.
387
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,563
- I need my ring.
- Okay.
388
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:45,516
- Oh, Bob.
- Evening.
389
00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:47,935
Hi, you're getting ready to go
to the Whitman meeting, right?
390
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:49,820
Mm-hmm, there's never
been a Whitman's Sampler
391
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:52,990
I couldn't take apart piece by piece
and shit out, Madam President.
392
00:16:53,108 --> 00:16:56,076
I love to hear that. Okay, you're
hanging on to me like a skin tag.
393
00:16:56,161 --> 00:16:59,580
Hey, you know what? Could you go and tell
Charlie I'll be just a couple minutes?
394
00:16:59,665 --> 00:17:01,198
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
- Thank you very much.
395
00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:03,534
So listen, I talked to
Kent and he really needs
396
00:17:03,619 --> 00:17:06,286
as much time as possible,
so whatever you could do
397
00:17:06,372 --> 00:17:10,040
to buy more time to delay
the certifica... Bob?
398
00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:13,794
Bob? Are you all right? Can you hear me?
399
00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:17,180
- Is there someone in here?
- What?
400
00:17:17,299 --> 00:17:20,267
- What is this?
- Bob, is Richard there?
401
00:17:21,637 --> 00:17:23,303
Bob, are you okay?
402
00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:25,188
Oh, fuck. You know what?
403
00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:28,859
I wonder... I think maybe we
should delay the meeting.
404
00:17:28,978 --> 00:17:30,644
Oh, not a chance, Mr. President.
405
00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:33,280
- I'm locked and loaded.
- Madam President.
406
00:17:33,365 --> 00:17:36,900
A lady president? Yeah,
maybe in the year 2000.
407
00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:40,621
Bob! Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!
408
00:17:40,706 --> 00:17:43,407
- Mr. Baird, Mr. Baird. I'm so sorry.
- Excuse me.
409
00:17:43,492 --> 00:17:46,493
I know everybody's waiting, but she just
texted and she's running a little bit late.
410
00:17:46,629 --> 00:17:49,079
You sure she just texted or did
she tweet the entire world?
411
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,549
It's okay, she's not here.
412
00:17:52,668 --> 00:17:54,334
All right, then let's just sit down.
413
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,053
- Wait, you want...
- It's fine. It's fine.
414
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:57,671
- She won't care.
- I don't know if...
415
00:17:57,806 --> 00:17:59,923
Howard, would you do me a favor
and slide over for my pal?
416
00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:00,592
Sure.
417
00:18:00,617 --> 00:18:02,366
I don't know if this
is such a good idea.
418
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:05,512
It's 250 grand. I bought the table.
Sit down.
419
00:18:05,598 --> 00:18:08,148
Gary is a key member of
the Meyer administration.
420
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:10,100
So kind. Thank you.
421
00:18:10,185 --> 00:18:13,320
- You have a card?
- No, just a bag.
422
00:18:13,405 --> 00:18:16,106
Guys, something is
deeply wrong with Bob.
423
00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:16,712
What?
424
00:18:16,737 --> 00:18:18,299
I'm talking like blood
in the urine wrong.
425
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,910
Yes, that's what I've
been trying to tell you.
426
00:18:20,029 --> 00:18:22,529
No, not now, Amy, okay?
Just focus on this.
427
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:24,531
Amy, this is really bad.
428
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,199
Oh, hello, ma'am.
429
00:18:26,335 --> 00:18:29,836
- What's bad?
- Can I tell Amy and have her tell you?
430
00:18:29,922 --> 00:18:31,838
Jonah, just speak. What is it?
431
00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:34,207
Ma'am, I've been trying to get Mr.
Bradley on the phone
432
00:18:34,343 --> 00:18:36,043
with Ned Mitchell from
the "Las Vegas Gazette."
433
00:18:36,178 --> 00:18:39,262
- Right.
- Ned Mitchell died in 2006.
434
00:18:39,381 --> 00:18:41,695
And the "Las Vegas Gazette"
stopped publishing in 2007.
435
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,490
Oh, my God.
436
00:18:42,551 --> 00:18:45,852
I was able to get in touch with
Susan Bailey at the "Reno Star,"
437
00:18:45,938 --> 00:18:49,306
which is not a newspaper,
it's a legal brothel.
438
00:18:49,391 --> 00:18:52,693
But she did seem excited to help the
campaign in whichever way she could.
439
00:18:52,778 --> 00:18:54,311
Jesus Christ, ma'am. I'm so sorry.
440
00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:56,563
He just seemed like the
same old Bob to me.
441
00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:59,399
Ma'am, this morning he told
me the Jews cause hurricanes.
442
00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:01,535
He just went into this
Whitman meeting, you guys!
443
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:04,071
What if he takes a shit on
the table or something?
444
00:19:04,206 --> 00:19:07,491
Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit
whenever he wants, that's a major victory.
445
00:19:07,576 --> 00:19:09,576
All right, Amy, this
meeting cannot make it
446
00:19:09,662 --> 00:19:11,328
past the School Book Depository.
447
00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:13,246
I'm loading my gun and
heading to the sixth floor.
448
00:19:13,332 --> 00:19:15,916
Well, then, go, go, go!
Ben, don't hang up.
449
00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:17,884
- I've got to tell you something.
- Uh-oh.
450
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:21,555
Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack.
451
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,724
I think I might have told him.
452
00:19:23,809 --> 00:19:25,425
Well, don't worry, ma'am.
453
00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:27,477
We'll get him on the first
flight out of Nevada
454
00:19:27,596 --> 00:19:31,398
and we'll shove his ass out
somewhere over Oklahoma.
455
00:19:31,483 --> 00:19:35,185
Alzheimer's or no, I
image-searched Susan Bailey
456
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:37,354
and she is legit fuckable.
457
00:19:37,439 --> 00:19:39,106
Hi, this is Dan, leave a message.
458
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:40,774
Shit! Thing Two.
459
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:42,609
Honestly, her rates are reasonable.
460
00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:48,498
Richard, call...
461
00:19:48,617 --> 00:19:49,483
Can you go any faster?
462
00:19:49,508 --> 00:19:51,358
Amy, if you had rented
me a Sebring, yes.
463
00:19:51,453 --> 00:19:52,703
Just go! Go, go!
464
00:19:54,506 --> 00:19:57,457
This is like that famous
scene from the movie "Heat."
465
00:19:57,593 --> 00:20:00,010
You know, with De Niro and Brenneman.
466
00:20:00,129 --> 00:20:02,763
Just thinking about that
scene gives me goose bumps.
467
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:05,215
The fuck is going on?
468
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,301
Mr. Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr.
Bradley
469
00:20:08,437 --> 00:20:10,804
will be right back
470
00:20:10,889 --> 00:20:13,440
very soon.
471
00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:15,809
You know, I'm just gonna step out,
472
00:20:15,944 --> 00:20:18,311
make sure that Bob
doesn't need anything.
473
00:20:18,397 --> 00:20:20,197
Be right back.
474
00:20:22,534 --> 00:20:24,985
Good evening, everyone. Before we start,
475
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,537
I would like to acknowledge the
chairman of tonight's dinner
476
00:20:27,656 --> 00:20:31,291
and a longtime generous benefactor
of this unique institution,
477
00:20:31,376 --> 00:20:34,161
- Mr. Charles Baird Jr.
- Oh!
478
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:40,383
Thank you, Steve. I'd
like to say dig in,
479
00:20:40,502 --> 00:20:42,169
but my date is running late.
480
00:20:42,254 --> 00:20:44,471
Presidents, right?
481
00:20:44,506 --> 00:20:47,591
Well, hopefully she arrives
before we all turn into fossils.
482
00:20:49,344 --> 00:20:51,762
Why is nobody answering
their phones right now?
483
00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:54,014
Hang on, ma'am. I'm gonna try Dan again.
484
00:20:54,099 --> 00:20:56,149
- Hey.
- Dan, you're on with the...
485
00:20:56,235 --> 00:20:58,318
Dan, are your ears on mute?
486
00:20:58,403 --> 00:20:59,986
I've called you like 80 times.
487
00:21:00,072 --> 00:21:02,105
- You're on with the president.
- Sorry, ma'am.
488
00:21:02,191 --> 00:21:05,192
Whitman made us turn our phones off
before Bob walked out of the meeting.
489
00:21:05,327 --> 00:21:07,027
What do you mean? The meeting is over?
490
00:21:07,112 --> 00:21:08,945
Well, no, but that didn't stop the Eagle
491
00:21:09,031 --> 00:21:11,364
from flying out onto the
street and getting in a cab.
492
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,533
Yeah, turns out he's nuttier
than a squirrel's diaper.
493
00:21:13,619 --> 00:21:15,752
- Tell Jonah to shut the fuck up.
- Shut the fuck up.
494
00:21:15,871 --> 00:21:18,088
If the meeting's still
going on, who's with Whitman?
495
00:21:18,207 --> 00:21:21,291
- Richard.
- Oh, thank God.
496
00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:23,126
Hate to say I told you so.
497
00:21:23,212 --> 00:21:26,046
- Shut the fuck up.
- Shut the fuck up, Jonah.
498
00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:30,050
Mr. Splett, where's Bob Bradley?
499
00:21:30,185 --> 00:21:31,852
Honestly, I was gonna ask you that.
500
00:21:31,887 --> 00:21:33,386
Do you mind if I get a picture with you
501
00:21:33,522 --> 00:21:35,355
for my blog "Let's Talk About Splett"?
502
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:39,442
Tell the Eagle it was great to see him.
503
00:21:39,561 --> 00:21:41,144
And at 6:00 P.M. tomorrow,
504
00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:43,897
every vote in this state will
be counted and certified.
505
00:21:44,032 --> 00:21:47,067
Well, not every vote. Funny
thing about elections,
506
00:21:47,152 --> 00:21:48,902
historically there've always
been leftover ballots.
507
00:21:49,037 --> 00:21:52,956
Sometimes up to 16% end
up missing or thrown out.
508
00:21:53,075 --> 00:21:55,742
- Is that what this is about?
- I'm so sorry for...
509
00:21:55,878 --> 00:21:58,078
The missing ballots in Washoe County.
510
00:21:58,163 --> 00:22:00,831
We looked all over for
them, came up empty,
511
00:22:00,916 --> 00:22:02,549
so best of luck to you.
512
00:22:02,634 --> 00:22:05,719
And if you do happen to find
as much as one new vote,
513
00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:08,338
- we'll see you in court.
- Thank you.
514
00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:12,425
Holy bacon double Asperger's.
515
00:22:12,511 --> 00:22:14,261
- How did you do that?
- I'm sorry, what?
516
00:22:14,396 --> 00:22:17,681
Amy, what are your top five
favorite De Niro movies?
517
00:22:17,766 --> 00:22:20,400
And you can't say "Meet the Parents"
'cause that's automatically number one.
518
00:22:20,485 --> 00:22:23,937
Kent, it's Washoe County.
Don't ask me how I know.
519
00:22:24,022 --> 00:22:26,773
Kent, get the Justice
Department on this, okay?
520
00:22:26,909 --> 00:22:29,609
You give them your statistical
whatever it is to narrow it down.
521
00:22:29,695 --> 00:22:32,028
- You mean my data narrative matrices.
- Yeah, the datas.
522
00:22:32,114 --> 00:22:36,166
Amy, is there any sign of the Eagle or
is he crossing America on a lawn mower?
523
00:22:36,285 --> 00:22:38,501
Ma'am, we really ought to get
someone in court right away
524
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:40,620
to file a Hail Mary injunction
to extend the deadline,
525
00:22:40,756 --> 00:22:42,289
someone who can stall
till we find the ballots.
526
00:22:42,424 --> 00:22:43,623
I already thought about that.
527
00:22:43,759 --> 00:22:45,458
I've got it covered.
528
00:22:51,216 --> 00:22:53,099
Mm-hmm.
529
00:22:57,105 --> 00:22:59,139
So the lady-in-waiting came over to us
530
00:22:59,274 --> 00:23:03,476
and she said, "Her Majesty thought perhaps
you would like to see her crown."
531
00:23:03,562 --> 00:23:06,396
Imagine a shy kid from
Birmingham, Alabama,
532
00:23:06,481 --> 00:23:07,981
and the Queen of England...
533
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:10,617
Ladies and gentlemen, the
President of the United States.
534
00:23:10,702 --> 00:23:13,570
Oh, thank you.
535
00:23:13,655 --> 00:23:15,538
Thank you. Oh, look at that.
536
00:23:15,657 --> 00:23:18,325
That's sort of a grey-blue dress.
Isn't that something?
537
00:23:18,410 --> 00:23:20,961
Hi, feeling good in Nevada.
538
00:23:21,046 --> 00:23:23,880
Nifty in Nevada. Hi.
539
00:23:23,999 --> 00:23:26,800
- You look fantastic.
- Yeah, I need a drink.
540
00:23:26,885 --> 00:23:30,003
Indeed I do. Everybody,
please, sit down.
541
00:23:30,088 --> 00:23:33,673
I am so excited to hear all about the...
542
00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:36,009
Stegosaurus, the armored plant eater.
543
00:23:36,094 --> 00:23:38,895
- Stegosaurus, the arm... Gary?
- Mm-hmm.
544
00:23:39,014 --> 00:23:42,649
I dropped my lipstick somewhere
between here and the motorcade.
545
00:23:42,734 --> 00:23:45,018
- Okay, I got one right here.
- No, go get that one.
546
00:23:45,153 --> 00:23:47,103
- Uh-huh.
- So what did I miss?
547
00:23:47,189 --> 00:23:50,190
We just heard a lovely story
about the Queen of England.
548
00:23:50,325 --> 00:23:52,025
She's a fucking cunt.
549
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,027
- You didn't hear it from me.
- No.
550
00:23:55,998 --> 00:23:58,832
We're still searching for the
votes, so we need you to stall.
551
00:23:58,917 --> 00:24:00,617
Amy, I respect the sanctity
552
00:24:00,702 --> 00:24:03,370
of this courtroom far
too much to "stall."
553
00:24:03,505 --> 00:24:06,039
This is a simple and
straightforward case.
554
00:24:06,124 --> 00:24:09,259
Although, in many ways, that's
what makes it so complicated.
555
00:24:09,378 --> 00:24:12,178
- You see...
- That's good. Do that.
556
00:24:12,264 --> 00:24:14,965
The court will hear the
matter of Meyer v. Nevada,
557
00:24:15,050 --> 00:24:16,850
a motion to delay certification.
558
00:24:16,935 --> 00:24:20,720
Before we begin, I would love
to define a few key terms.
559
00:24:20,806 --> 00:24:24,474
Vote. What is a vote?
560
00:24:24,559 --> 00:24:26,393
Well, I think that's pretty obvious.
561
00:24:26,528 --> 00:24:28,228
Oh, is it, Your Honor?
562
00:24:28,363 --> 00:24:33,283
In many cultures, the word vote
can mean a myriad of things.
563
00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:35,986
It can mean a celebration.
564
00:24:36,071 --> 00:24:38,154
It can mean a dance around a fire.
565
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,408
It can mean a silent nod.
566
00:24:41,543 --> 00:24:44,911
In this room, what does it mean?
567
00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:46,579
Any news on Creaky McGee?
568
00:24:46,715 --> 00:24:48,748
Seriously, we have got
to find Bob before...
569
00:24:48,834 --> 00:24:51,134
Look at this. How beautiful you look.
And check this out.
570
00:24:51,253 --> 00:24:53,586
No, no. What about the
Nevada State Police?
571
00:24:53,672 --> 00:24:55,922
- Ma'am, there's nothing.
- Oh, never mind. We got him.
572
00:24:56,008 --> 00:24:57,724
What? Where is he?
573
00:24:57,809 --> 00:25:00,310
- Here.
- Good morning.
574
00:25:00,429 --> 00:25:02,345
Hi, Bob.
575
00:25:02,431 --> 00:25:03,813
- Hey.
- Hi.
576
00:25:03,932 --> 00:25:06,433
I am so happy to see you.
577
00:25:06,568 --> 00:25:08,435
What kind of soup do you have today?
578
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:13,106
Um, what kind of soup is on your mind?
579
00:25:13,191 --> 00:25:15,075
Well, what is today?
580
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,861
- Um... it's Thursday.
- It's Thursday.
581
00:25:17,946 --> 00:25:19,446
- Thursday?
- Yup.
582
00:25:19,531 --> 00:25:22,582
Navy bean. So delicious.
583
00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:25,335
Ma'am, you want to... hey, Bob.
584
00:25:25,454 --> 00:25:27,170
Bob Bradley. Nice to meet you, sir.
585
00:25:27,289 --> 00:25:29,839
- They found the ballots.
- Seriously?
586
00:25:29,958 --> 00:25:33,877
- Yeah.
- Excuse me, Bob.
587
00:25:33,962 --> 00:25:35,595
Breaking news out of Nevada.
588
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,465
Acting on a tip, US Justice
Department deputies
589
00:25:38,550 --> 00:25:42,302
found an estimated 10,000
uncounted mail-in ballots
590
00:25:42,387 --> 00:25:44,075
from last week's
presidential election...
591
00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:44,661
Come on.
592
00:25:44,773 --> 00:25:48,691
...in the house of this man, 54-year-old
US postal worker Vance Otlow.
593
00:25:48,777 --> 00:25:51,444
- Look at this guy.
- Otlow had grown more erratic
594
00:25:51,530 --> 00:25:53,813
following post office closures last year
595
00:25:53,899 --> 00:25:55,815
by the Meyer Postal Commission.
596
00:25:55,901 --> 00:25:57,484
10,000 ballots!
597
00:25:57,619 --> 00:26:01,955
From a district with an empirically
high applied demography value.
598
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,742
I don't know what you're saying, but
you keep doing that math stuff, Kent,
599
00:26:05,827 --> 00:26:07,677
no matter how much anyone
makes fun of you, okay?
600
00:26:07,702 --> 00:26:08,318
Yes, ma'am.
601
00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:12,165
All right, listen. Karen has got to
get those ballots admitted, right?
602
00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:14,501
She will or she won't.
603
00:26:14,636 --> 00:26:17,420
Amy, I know the last couple
days have not been ideal.
604
00:26:17,506 --> 00:26:19,389
To say the least, ma'am.
605
00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:20,840
I just want you to know
606
00:26:20,926 --> 00:26:23,593
that I could not have
done it without Richard
607
00:26:23,678 --> 00:26:26,679
and I want you to please
relay my thanks to him.
608
00:26:26,815 --> 00:26:29,182
I'll get right on that.
609
00:26:29,267 --> 00:26:31,401
Uh, ma'am, from our ambassador in China.
610
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,687
As I feared, the Chinese are responding
to your threat of sanctions.
611
00:26:34,773 --> 00:26:37,440
Can I not have just one
minute to enjoy this?
612
00:26:37,526 --> 00:26:39,692
I'll ask the Chinese.
613
00:26:39,828 --> 00:26:41,995
Your Honors, I have just been informed
614
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,949
that uncounted ballots have been
discovered in Washoe County.
615
00:26:46,034 --> 00:26:48,701
I'd like to move that those
be included in the recount.
616
00:26:48,837 --> 00:26:51,538
Objection, the deadline
has already passed.
617
00:26:51,673 --> 00:26:55,508
Your Honor, how is counsel
defining "deadline" and "passed"?
618
00:26:55,594 --> 00:26:57,677
Your Honor, objection!
619
00:26:59,014 --> 00:27:00,463
The deadline will be extended
620
00:27:00,549 --> 00:27:02,048
until we can hear on this matter.
621
00:27:02,134 --> 00:27:05,969
We will reconvene tomorrow at 10:00 A.M.
622
00:27:06,054 --> 00:27:08,938
After today's stunning
turn of events in Nevada,
623
00:27:09,057 --> 00:27:11,441
the president has asked
Bob Bradley, the Eagle,
624
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,393
to return to Washington as her new
625
00:27:13,478 --> 00:27:16,563
cybersecurity czar,
effective immediately.
626
00:27:16,648 --> 00:27:19,065
Also the State Department is reporting
627
00:27:19,151 --> 00:27:22,569
the Chinese government announced a
series of measures aimed at the US.
628
00:27:22,654 --> 00:27:25,572
New restrictions on American
imports into China,
629
00:27:25,657 --> 00:27:28,658
freezing of US investment
funds in China...
630
00:27:30,212 --> 00:27:34,047
a ban on all foreign adoptions
by American citizens.
631
00:27:35,634 --> 00:27:38,218
- A bunch of other stuff.
- Mike! Mike!
632
00:27:38,303 --> 00:27:40,920
Will the president move
forward with her sanctions?
633
00:27:41,006 --> 00:27:42,589
I don't know.
634
00:27:45,177 --> 00:27:47,310
I have to call my wife.
635
00:27:49,648 --> 00:27:51,481
I didn't know there
was a subbasement.
636
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,433
- Nice and cool.
- Yeah, it's nice.
637
00:27:53,568 --> 00:27:55,818
- A lot of supplies here.
- This is mine, right?
638
00:27:55,937 --> 00:27:57,437
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, boy.
639
00:27:57,522 --> 00:27:59,522
And here we go, Eagle, your new nest.
640
00:27:59,608 --> 00:28:02,358
Now, I don't think my cell
phone's gonna work here.
641
00:28:02,444 --> 00:28:04,911
- No. Good luck.
- Great.
642
00:28:06,448 --> 00:28:08,781
Thanks, buttfucker.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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