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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:05,100
No, see, the liquid metal Terminators
were created in the future by Skynet,
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:07,100
and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson,
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:11,100
but that future no longer exists
due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
4
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,700
Okay, then riddle me this:
5
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:18,700
Assuming all the good Terminators were
originally evil Terminators created by Skynet
6
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,100
but then reprogrammed by
the future John Connor,
7
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:23,900
why would Skynet,
an artificial computer intelligence,
8
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:27,900
bother to create a petite, hot,
17-year-old killer robot?
9
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,700
Skynet is kinky?
10
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,100
I don't know...
11
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,400
Artificial intelligences
do not have teen fetishes.
12
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,200
Allright. Wait! They use it to...
13
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,400
Too late. I win.
14
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,900
What the hell is that?
15
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,500
I don't know,
but if cats could sing...
16
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,000
they'd hate it, too.
17
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,300
Hey, guys!
18
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:16,500
- Hi! Where you going?
19
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,300
- What?
20
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,700
We just had to mail
some letters...
21
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:21,500
and...
22
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,000
throw away some chicken.
23
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,000
You'll never guess
what just happened.
24
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000
I give up.
25
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000
I don't guess.
26
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,000
As a scientist, I reach conclusions based
on observation and experimentation.
27
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,600
Although as I'm saying this,
28
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:55,100
it occurs to me you may have been employing
a rhetorical device rendering my response moot.
29
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,200
- What was that?
30
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,300
- Believe it or not, personal growth.
31
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:00,700
What happened?
32
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,200
Allright, remember when I auditioned
for that workshop production of Rent,
33
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,000
but I didn't get it
and I couldn't figure out why.
34
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000
I have a conclusion
based on an observation.
35
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,100
No, you don't.
36
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,400
No, he doesn't.
37
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,900
Well, the girl they picked to play Mimi...
38
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:13,800
she dropped out,
and they asked me to replace her.
39
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,900
Congratulations.
40
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:15,900
What a lucky break.
41
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,900
It's not a big deal,
just a one-night showcase,
42
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:20,100
but they invite a lot of casting people and agents.
43
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,000
So, you never know.
44
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:21,800
- I think I know.
45
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,200
- No, you don't.
46
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,200
He doesn't.
47
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,400
It's this Friday at 8:00.
48
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,300
Do you guys want to come?
49
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,500
No!
50
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,400
Because...
51
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,900
Friday we are attending a symposium
on molecular positronium.
52
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,700
I think that's a week from Tuesday,
at 6:00.
53
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,500
No, it's this Friday.
54
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,300
At 8:00.
55
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,700
Oh, too bad.
56
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:44,800
I gotta get to rehearsal.
57
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:45,800
- See you guys.
- See ya.
58
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,100
You just lied to Penny.
59
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,000
- Yes, I did.
60
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,400
- And you did it so casually--
no rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration...
61
00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,400
So?
62
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,000
So, lack of a physiological
response while lying
63
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,700
is characteristic
of a violent sociopath.
64
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,400
Sheldon, are you worried
about your safety?
65
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,500
No, I imagine if you
were going to kill me,
66
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,200
you'd have done it
a long time ago.
67
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,600
That's very true.
68
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,000
Season 1 Episode 10:
The Loobenfeld Decay
69
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,000
Leonard?
70
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,400
What?
71
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,100
I need to speak to you.
72
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,800
- It's 2:00 in the morning!
73
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,900
- It's important.
74
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,300
I highly doubt that.
75
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,300
Go away!
76
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,200
Are you still out there?
77
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,600
Yes.
78
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,800
What?
79
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,100
You're right;
it can wait until morning.
80
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,800
- What, what, what, what, WHAT?
81
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,000
- Never mind.
82
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,400
I clearly woke you up
in the middle of a REM cycle.
83
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,200
You're in no state of mind to talk.
84
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,000
Sheldon, what is it?
85
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:46,200
I'm uncomfortable having been
included in your lie to Penny.
86
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,000
What was I supposed to say?
87
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,500
- You could have told her the truth.
88
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,500
- That would have hurt her feelings.
89
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,100
Is that a relevant factor?
90
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,000
Yes!
91
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,200
Then I suppose
you could've agreed to go.
92
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,700
And what would I have said afterwards?
93
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,000
I would suggest something
to the effect of:
94
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,600
singing isneither an appropriate
vocation nor avocation for you,
95
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,200
and if you disagree, I'd recommend you
have a CAT scan to look for a tumor
96
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,200
pressing on the cognitive
processing centers of your brain.
97
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,900
I couldn't say that.
I would have to say,
98
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,600
"You were terrific and I can't wait
to hear you sing again."
99
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,400
Why?
100
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,000
It's the social protocol.
101
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,100
It's what you do when you have a friend
who's proud of something they really suck at.
102
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,100
I was not aware of that.
103
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,300
Well, now you are.
104
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,800
Oh! All right.
105
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:35,700
Leonard?
106
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:36,500
Yes?
107
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,700
When we played chess earlier,
you were terrific,
108
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,700
and I can't wait to play you again.
109
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,000
Good night.
110
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,500
Leonard?
111
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,800
This would be so much easier
if I were a violent sociopath.
112
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:58,900
What?
113
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,600
I was analyzing our lie,
114
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,600
and I believe we're in danger
of Penny seeing through the ruse.
115
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,100
How?
116
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:11,400
Simple: If she were to log onto
"www.socalphysixs-group.org/activities/other"
117
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,600
click on "Upcoming Events,"
scroll down to "Seminars,"
118
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,000
download the PDF schedule,
119
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,200
and look for the seminar
on molecular positronium,
120
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,900
well then. Bippity, boppity, boo--
121
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,000
our pants are metaphorically on fire.
122
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,300
Well, sir, my trousers
will not be igniting today.
123
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,100
Penny?
124
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,500
Good morning!
125
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,500
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
126
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,500
Of course I do.
127
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,600
My watch is linked to the atomic clock
in Boulder, Colorado.
128
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,300
It's accurate to one tenth of a second.
129
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,100
But as I'm saying this, it occurs to me
130
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:52,500
that, once again, your question
may have been rhetorical.
131
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,400
What do you want?
132
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,000
Remember how Leonard told you
we couldn't come to your performance
133
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,500
because we were attending a symposium
on molecular positronium?
134
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,100
I remember "symposium."
135
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:06,900
Yes. Well...
136
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,700
He lied.
137
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,600
Wait.
What?
138
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:14,200
He lied, and I'm feeling
very uncomfortable about it.
139
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,200
Well, imagine how I'm feeling.
140
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,000
Hungry?
141
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,800
Tired?
142
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,500
I'm sorry,
this really isn't my strong suit.
143
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,300
You told her I lied?
144
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,100
Why would you tell her I lied?
145
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,100
To help you.
146
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,300
I'm sorry,
I'm not seeing the help.
147
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,600
She was going to see through
your lie eventually,
148
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,300
so I told her that you
were lying to protect me.
149
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,600
I'm getting a bad feeling.
150
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,800
Hunger?
151
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000
Indigestion?
152
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,200
I'm sorry, I'm really
not very good at this.
153
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,200
Anyway, Penny now believes that,
on Friday night,
154
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,500
we're going to participate in my cousin
Leopold's drug intervention.
155
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,600
Your cousin Leopold.
156
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,300
Who most people call Leo,
but he also answers to Lee.
157
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:04,000
- Remember that. It's important.
158
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,200
- What's important?
159
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:10,100
Details, Leonard-- the success or failure
of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.
160
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,100
- Do you have a cousin Leopold?
161
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,900
- No. I made him up.
162
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:16,900
I think you'd call him Lee.
163
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,200
I don't get it.
I already told her a lie.
164
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,500
Why replace it with a different lie?
165
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,300
Well, first of all, your lie
was laughably transparent,
166
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,800
where mine is exquisitely convoluted.
167
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,000
While you were sleeping,
I was weaving an un-unravelable web.
168
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,300
Un-unravelable?
169
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,200
Yes.
170
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:39,300
If she Googles "Leopold Houston,"
she'll find a Facebook page,
171
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,800
an online blog depicting
his descent into drug use
172
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,300
and a desperate yet hopeful
listing on eHarmony.com.
173
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,500
Okay, why would I go
to a drug intervention for your cousin?
174
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:53,300
Because it's in Long Beach,
and I don't drive.
175
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,600
- We're going to Long Beach?
176
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,500
- Of course not.
177
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:58,500
There's no cousin Leo.
178
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,500
There's no intervention.
179
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,600
Focus, Leonard.
180
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,000
Aw, come on.
181
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:07,600
We just leave the house on Friday night and we return
in the wee hours,emotionally wrung out,
182
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,400
from the work of convincing Leo
to go back into rehab.
183
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,200
- He goes back into rehab?
184
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,400
- Yes, but, he can relapse if Penny
ever invites us to hear her sing again.
185
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,700
You still told her I lied.
186
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,100
For a noble purpose--
to spare me the social embarrassment
187
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,100
of having a drug-addled first cousin--
188
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,200
which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?
189
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,600
How am I supposed
to remember all of this?
190
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,500
That's the best part.
191
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,400
You don't have to.
192
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,400
I told Penny that you would be embarrassed,
if you knew that she found out that you had lied,
193
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,900
so she's agreed to operate as if
the original lie is still in force.
194
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:49,700
So she's expecting me, to lie
about going to a symposium in Pasadena,
195
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:55,500
when, in actuality, we're pretending to go
to a drug intervention in Long Beach.
196
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,600
Un-unravelable.
197
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,800
Hey Penny! Wow, look at you,
all ready for your showcase.
198
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:03,800
- You look great.
199
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,700
- Thanks.
200
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,800
I just wanted to come by,
wish you guys luck
201
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,500
with your... symposium.
202
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,000
Thank you!
203
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,900
I got to tell you, a lot of friends
would let their friend go alone,
204
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
but that's not who you are.
205
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,400
You are the kind of guy
who stands by a friend when...
206
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,900
When he has a symposium to go to.
207
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,900
I don't know what to say.
208
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,300
It's okay, Leonard.
209
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,700
Okay, all right, good.
210
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,000
Oh, boy, group hug.
211
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,100
So, what's up?
212
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:44,300
Well, Penny is on her way to perform
in a one-night showcase production of Rent,
213
00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,457
which we are unable to attend,
213
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,400
because we're going to a symposium
on molecular positronium
214
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,700
given by Dr. Emilarmanfarmian.
215
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:56,200
Wait a minute. Farmanfarmian is speaking
and you're bogarting the symposium?
216
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:57,800
- Howard, I'm sorr...
217
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,900
- No, no, you're quark-blocking us.
218
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,800
I don't know what to say.
219
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,400
Howard, listen.
220
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,800
It's okay.
It's your Millennium Falcon.
221
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,100
You and Chewbacca
do whatever you wanted.
222
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,300
Me and Princess Leia here will find
some other way to spend the evening.
223
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:17,900
Howard, wait.
224
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,200
Sheldon,
I think we should tell them.
225
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,100
Okay, sure.
226
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,300
I don't see a problem with that.
227
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,900
There's no symposium.
228
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,300
Leonard lied to me.
229
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,400
Isn't that right, Leonard?
230
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,000
Well...
231
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,000
I don't know what to say!
232
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,600
It's okay; I do.
233
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,200
Leonard is helping Sheldon
through a family crisis.
234
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,100
He made up the whole story
about the symposium with Dr. Farman...
235
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,200
Farmian.
236
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,100
Good for you.
237
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,800
Because he didn't want
Sheldon to be embarrassed.
238
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,700
And there's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
239
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,900
Every family in America has a relative
240
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,700
holed up in a garage somewhere
huffing paint thinner.
241
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,200
No, I'm lost, too.
242
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,700
I think she skipped a step.
243
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,300
No, look.
244
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:06,300
Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped rehab,
and he's in a Motel 8 in Long Beach.
245
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,100
The whole family's going out
for an intervention.
246
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,200
Leonard is driving Sheldon down there
247
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,000
to help him through this,
because he's such a good man.
248
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,800
Another hug?
Thank you.
249
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,300
All right, you guys, good luck.
250
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,300
Thanks, Penny.
251
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,200
Break a leg!
252
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,300
Break a leg!
253
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,100
So, road trip to Long Beach.
254
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:26,200
- We're not going to Long Beach.
255
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,000
- Why not?
256
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Because Sheldon doesn't have
a drug-addicted cousin Leopold.
257
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,500
Oh, too bad.
258
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,400
I've always wanted
to go to Long Beach.
259
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,200
It's a very nice community.
260
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,800
The Queen Mary is docked there.
261
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,300
Once the largest ocean liner in the
world, it's now a hotel and restaurant,
262
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,200
where they host a surprisingly gripping
murder mystery dinner.
263
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,700
- Sounds fun.
- I'm game.
264
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,000
- No, no, no.
265
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,800
Leonard gets nauseous unless he sits
in front, and even then, it's iffy.
266
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,500
Wait, are we really
going to Long Beach?
267
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,300
Leonard?
268
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,800
Let it go, Sheldon.
269
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,000
The murderer was the first mate
whether it makes sense to you or not.
270
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,300
No, that's the least of our worries.
271
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,300
I've been doing
some research on addiction,
272
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,600
both the biochemical
and behavioral aspects--
273
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,700
and I think there's a problem
with the current version of our lie.
274
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,400
What are you talking about?
275
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,400
It's fine!
She bought it; it's over.
276
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,800
Sadly, it's not.
277
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,400
Substance abuse
is a lifelong struggle,
278
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,600
but beyond that, I have realized
that the Leo I described
279
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,000
would not have agreed to go to rehab.
280
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,500
- Why not?
281
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,900
Because Leo's a middle child.
282
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,400
There is no Leo!
283
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,900
How can you say that?
284
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,900
You didn't read the bio, did you?
285
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,700
He's not just a middle child,
he is the quintessential middle child--
286
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,200
from a broken home, to boot.
287
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,500
Psychologically speaking,
the attention he gets by rebelling,
288
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,000
even to the point of self-destruction,
289
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,300
is more emotionally valuable
than the help he would get at rehab.
290
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,500
- I've got a solution.
291
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,200
- Great. What is it?
292
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,500
Get out!
293
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,800
Fine.
294
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,700
I've hesitated to point this out,
295
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,200
but I must now remind you
that we are in our current predicament
296
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,900
because of your initial
and totally inadequate deceit.
297
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,100
I'm just trying to clean up
after your mess.
298
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,000
We'll talk in the morning.
299
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,100
Morning.
300
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,500
Who are you?
301
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,300
I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.
302
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,500
Sheldon does not have
a cousin Leo.
303
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,900
Au contraire.
304
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,800
I'm 26 years old.
305
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,200
I'm originally
from...
306
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,200
Denton, Texas,
but I was a Navy brat,
307
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,200
so I was brought up on a variety
of military bases around the world.
308
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,400
As a result, I've often felt
like an outsider--
309
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,100
never really fitting in,
310
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,700
which is probably the reason
for my substance abuse problem.
311
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,000
Excuse me,
we just went over this.
312
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,800
As the quintessential middle child,
your addiction is rooted
313
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,400
in your unmet need for attention.
314
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,400
Sheldon, are we really going
to go with pop psychology?
315
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:32,200
For your information,
this is based on solid research.
316
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,600
Just stick with the character profile
I wrote for you.
317
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,100
Sheldon?
318
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:36,900
I'm sorry.
319
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,500
Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld.
320
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,400
He's a research assistant
in the particle physics lab,
321
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,500
but he also minored in theater at MIT.
322
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,800
It was more of a double major, actually.
323
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,400
Theater and physics.
324
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,100
You can guess which one
my bourgeois parents pushed me toward.
325
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,300
Yeah, I got it.
326
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,700
Sheldon...
327
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,800
why?
328
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,600
You see, while Leo
would not have gone into rehab,
329
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,400
it is completely plausible,
330
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,300
that we would have talked him into
leaving the motel and coming home with us.
331
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,600
How about this as my motivation--
when I was 14 years old,
332
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,900
I was abused in the Philippines
by a clubfooted Navy chaplain.
333
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,500
No. We're going with middle child
334
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,700
and a genetic predisposition to
inadequate serotonin production.
335
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,700
Swell. How do I play
genetic predisposition?
336
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,800
Subtextually, of course.
337
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,300
Just have fun with it.
338
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,800
- Morning, Penny.
339
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,400
- How did the intervention go?
340
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,600
Unfortunately, we weren't able
to convince him to go to rehab.
341
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,900
Based on what you told me,
I am not surprised.
342
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,600
But we did convince him
to leave the motel.
343
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,600
Come say hello.
344
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,100
Leo.
345
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,400
This is Penny, our friend and neighbor.
346
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:58,700
Hi, Leo.
347
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,600
How are you feeling?
348
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,500
Let me ask you something, Penny.
349
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:12,200
Have you ever woken up in a
fleabag motel, covered in your own vomit,
350
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,200
next to a transsexual prostitute?
351
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,600
No.
352
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,900
Then don't ask me
how I'm feeling.
353
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,800
Well, that's Leo.
354
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:30,200
why don't you tell me
about your showcase last night?
355
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,400
It was okay, I guess.
356
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,000
It wasn't a big turnout,
but they both really seemed to like it.
357
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,400
There were only
two people there?
358
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,400
By the end, yeah.
359
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,500
Damn you, Chaplain Harrigan!
360
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,500
I'm... I'm sorry?
361
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,100
The Philippines.
362
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,300
1992.
363
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,700
The Subic Bay Naval Station.
364
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:56,700
A young boy on the cusp of manhood.
365
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:58,800
His only companions,
366
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,800
mongrel dogs
and malarial mosquitoes.
367
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,800
Desperate and alone,
368
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,600
he reached out to a man
who promised to introduce him
369
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:12,500
to a merciful, loving God,
but who instead introduced him
370
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:17,600
to a gin-pickled tongue
shoved down his adolescent throat.
371
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:25,800
What choice did he have but to
drink, shoot and snort his pain away?
372
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,900
Don't forget his genetic predisposition
towards addiction.
373
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,000
- That's never been proven.
374
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000
- There have been studies.
375
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,100
Not double-blind studies.
376
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,600
How could there be?
377
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,100
Who would be the control group?
378
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:38,100
As you can see,
detoxing can get pretty ugly.
379
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,000
Let's give them some privacy.
380
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,300
Do you want to come over
and have coffee?
381
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,600
Ah, sounds good.
382
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,900
I have a video of me singing last night.
383
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,100
Do you want to see it?
384
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,700
Gee, why wouldn't I?
385
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
This is even better than you
coming to the showcase,
386
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,600
because now I get to watch you watch me.
387
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,200
Yeeaaahh.
388
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,200
Funny how things work out.
389
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,000
...but he loved the companionship
and the wisdom
390
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,800
that his own father failed to provide.
391
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,600
Your parents made the right decision.
392
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,500
I cannot work like this.
393
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,000
This is amazing.
394
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,300
Just sitting on a couch
watching TV with a woman.
395
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,800
Not being drunk or high
396
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,600
or wondering
if you're a dude down there.
397
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:41,100
Leo, you are a very sweet,
really funny guy.
398
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,700
You're going to do okay.
399
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,700
One day at a time, Penny.
400
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,400
One day at a time.
401
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,500
How long is he going to stay here?
402
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,500
He's a homeless drug addict Leonard.
403
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,300
Where is he going to go?
404
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,500
Boy, you have a lot
to learn about lying.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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