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1
00:00:08,797 --> 00:00:10,823
Damn you, walletnook.com!
2
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,605
Problem?
3
00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:16,026
The online description
was completely misleading.
4
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,791
They said:
"8 slots plus removable ID".
5
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,975
To any rational person,
that would mean room for nine cards.
6
00:00:22,129 --> 00:00:26,065
But they don't tell you the removable ID
takes up one slot. It's a nightmare.
7
00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:32,030
Do you really need the Honorary Justice
League of American membership card?
8
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:36,370
It's been in every wallet I've owned
since I was five.
9
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,086
Why?
10
00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,202
It says,
"Keep this on your person at all times."
11
00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:44,347
It's right here
under Batman's signature.
12
00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:49,702
...and this is Leonard
and Sheldon's apartment.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,619
Guess whose parents
just got broadband.
14
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,967
Leonard, may I present,
live from New Delhi,
15
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,819
Dr. and Mrs. V. M. Koothrappali.
16
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,116
Hi!
Tilt up the camera up!
17
00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:00,885
I'm looking at his crotch.
18
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,214
Sorry, Papa.
19
00:01:02,419 --> 00:01:03,823
Oh, that's much better. Hi.
20
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,107
And over here is Sheldon.
21
00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:09,914
He lives with Leonard.
22
00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:12,960
That's nice.
Like Haroon and Tanvir.
23
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,641
Not like Haroon and Tanvir.
24
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,195
Such sweet young men.
25
00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:19,664
They just adopted the cutest
little Punjabi baby.
26
00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:22,207
No, we're not like
Haroon and Tanvir.
27
00:01:23,247 --> 00:01:25,190
So, are you boys academics
like our son?
28
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,286
Yes.
29
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,099
And your parents are comfortable
with your limited earning potential?
30
00:01:29,274 --> 00:01:30,528
- Oh, yes.
- Not at all.
31
00:01:30,945 --> 00:01:32,381
Papa, please. Don't start.
32
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:34,770
It was just a question.
He's so sensitive.
33
00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:37,333
That's my life. That's my friends.
Good to see you. Say good-bye.
34
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:39,513
- Bye.
- Wait! Wait!
35
00:01:41,679 --> 00:01:43,512
Before you go,
we have good news.
36
00:01:43,705 --> 00:01:45,576
Put the computer down
and gather your friends.
37
00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:52,369
- What is it, Papa?
- Friends!
1
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,500
Is it just me,
or does web chatting
2
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,700
with your clothes on
seem a little pointless?
3
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,300
Do you rember Lalita Gupta?
4
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:07,400
The little fat girl that used to kick me
in the samosas and call me untouchable?
5
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,600
Yes. Well, now she's
a dental student at USC,
6
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000
so we gave her
your contact information.
7
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,800
Why did you do that?
8
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,500
You're 26 years old, Rajesh.
We want grandchildren.
9
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:21,100
- But, Papa, I'm not supposed...
- Lalita's parents approved the match.
10
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,500
If you decide on a spring wedding,
we can avoid monsoon season.
11
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,200
A spring wedding?!
12
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,600
It's up to you, dear.
We don't want to meddle.
13
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,600
If you don't want to meddle,
then why are you?
14
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,400
If I may, your parents probably
don't consider this meddling.
15
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,500
While arranged marriages
are no longer the norm,
16
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,100
Indian parents continue to have
17
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,600
a greater-than-average involvement
in their children's love lives.
18
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,200
Why are you telling me
about my own culture?
19
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,600
You seemed confused.
20
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,700
Sorry, but with all due respect,
I really don't want to...
21
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,400
I'm sorry, darling.
We have to go.
22
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,000
Doogie Howser is on.
23
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,300
Grandma!
It's Doogie Time!
24
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,200
- Bye-bye!
- Bye-bye!
25
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,100
I don't believe it.
26
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,300
Neither do I.
27
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,100
Doogie Howser's been off
the air for like 20 years.
28
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,500
Actually,
I read somewhere
29
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,800
that it's one of the most
popular programs in India.
30
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,900
It might speak to a cultural aspiration
31
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,100
to have one's children
enter the medical profession.
32
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,300
I bet you're right.
33
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,800
- I bet they loveScrubs.
- What's not to love?
34
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,200
Excuse me! Hello?
35
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,200
My parents are trying to marry me to
a total stranger. What am I going to do?
36
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,300
I suggest you go through with it.
37
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:27,400
What?!
38
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,800
Romantic love as the basis for marriage
has only existed since the 19th century.
39
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,400
Up until then,
arranged marriages were the norm,
40
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,000
and it served society quite well.
41
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,200
It's the entire premise
of Fiddler on the Roof.
42
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,900
I'm not a big fan of musicals,
but I love that show.
43
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,800
Me too.
Of course, it speaks to me culturally.
44
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,500
Understandable, but there's
a universality to that story
45
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,000
which transcends ethnicity.
46
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,500
Let's not forget it's got
some really catchy tunes.
47
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,300
- I know what I'm going to do.
- What?
48
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,700
Find new friends.
49
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,500
So who wants to rent Fiddler?
50
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,400
No need, we have the special edition.
51
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,200
Maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir.
52
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:34,600
Season 1 Episode 8:
The Grasshopper Experiment
1
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,200
This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
2
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,100
Yeah, I need to cancel
my membership to the planetarium.
3
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,600
Well, I'm sorry, too,
4
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,100
but there's just no room
for you in my wallet.
5
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,500
I understand,
6
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,200
but it was between you
and the Museum of Natural History,
7
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,400
and frankly,
you don't have dinosaurs.
8
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,000
I'll miss you, too. Bye-bye.
9
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:04,100
Okay, I know you're texting about me
and I'd really like you to stop.
10
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,200
Oh, dear,
I am rightly and truly screwed.
11
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,000
Hey, I thought you were
finding new friends.
12
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,700
I've got some feelers out.
13
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,300
In the meantime, listen to this.
14
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,900
Hi, Rajesh.
This is Lalita Gupta.
15
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,300
Your mother gave my mother
your phone number to give to me.
16
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,800
So, I'm calling you
17
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,400
and... call me back. Bye.
18
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,200
Can you believe how pushy she is?
19
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,900
So don't call her.
20
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,500
If I don't call her, I won't hear
the end of it from my parents.
21
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,900
- So call her.
- How?
22
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,500
You know I can't talk to women.
23
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,600
I'm done.
Anybody else?
24
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,100
- Give me the phone.
- Why?
25
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,500
Just give it to me.
26
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,800
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry. You'll thank me.
27
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,200
Hello, Lalita?
Raj Koothrappali here.
28
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,800
Yes, it is good
to talk to you, too.
29
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,100
So what are you wearing?
30
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,600
Oh, not important.
31
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,400
So, anyhow,
when would you like to meet?
32
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,300
Friday works for me!
33
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,100
I'll call you with a time and place.
34
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,200
But in the meantime,
keep it real, babe.
35
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,300
You may now thank me.
36
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,200
For what? Making me sound
like a Simpsons character?
37
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,900
Next time make your own date.
38
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,300
- I didn't want this one!
- Look on the bright side,
39
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,700
she might turn out to be
a nice, beautiful girl.
40
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,300
Great, then we'll get married,
I won't be able to talk to her
41
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,200
and we'll spend the rest
of our lives in total silence.
42
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,400
It worked for my parents.
43
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,200
Hi, guys.
44
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,900
I need some guinea pigs.
45
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:56,100
There's a lab animal supply company
in Reseda you could try.
46
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,600
But if your research is going
to have human applications,
47
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,300
may I suggest white mice instead?
48
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,000
Their brain chemistry
is far closer to ours.
49
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,200
I swear to God, one day,
50
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,700
I'm going to get the hang
of talking to you.
51
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,400
His mom's been saying that for years.
52
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,100
What's up?
53
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,900
I finally convinced the restaurant
to give me a bartending shift,
54
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,700
so I need to practice mixing drinks.
55
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,300
Great.
The key to acquiring proficiency
56
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,000
in any task is repetition.
57
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,900
With certain obvious exceptions.
58
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,900
Suicide, for example.
59
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,700
So, Leonard, how about it?
60
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,400
We'd love to help you, but Raj
is going through some stuff right now,
61
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:40,300
besides, he doesn't drink, so...
62
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:43,900
Really?
63
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,700
Raj is going through
some stuff right now
64
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,800
and he'd like to take up drinking.
65
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,300
Here you go, Leonard.
One Tequila Sunrise.
66
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:57,500
Thank you.
67
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,600
This drink is a wonderful example
68
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,900
of how liquids with different
specific gravities
69
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,000
interact in a cylindrical container.
70
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,100
Thank you.
71
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,700
Okay, Raj, what'll it be?
72
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,800
Whatever you recommend.
73
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,500
How about a Grasshopper?
I make a mean Grasshopper.
74
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,600
Okay? Good. Coming up.
75
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,500
Sheldon, what are you going to have?
76
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,300
I'll have a Diet Coke.
77
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:27,100
Can you please order a cocktail?
I need to practice mixing drinks.
78
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,900
Fine.
I'll have a Virgin Cuba Libre.
79
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,900
That's, rum and Coke
without the rum.
80
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,200
Yes.
81
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:38,900
So... Coke.
82
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,200
Yes.
83
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,200
And would you make it diet?
84
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,800
There's a can in the fridge.
85
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,200
A Cuba Libre traditionally comes
in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
86
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,200
Then swim to Cuba.
87
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:01,000
Bartenders are supposed
to have people skills.
88
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,600
Raj, here you go.
89
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,400
All right.
Who's next?
90
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,800
I'd like to try
a Slippery Nipple.
91
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,100
Okay, you're cut off.
92
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,000
Anybody need a refill?
93
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,000
Where did my life go, Penny?
94
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,400
One day I'm a carefree bachelor,
and the next I'm married
95
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,600
and driving a minivan
to peewee cricket matches
96
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,400
in suburban New Delhi.
97
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,100
Are you talking to me?
98
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,200
Is the another Penny here?
99
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,400
I had such plans.
I had dreams.
100
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,000
I was going to be the Indira Gandhi
of particle astrophysics.
101
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,100
But with a penis, of course.
102
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,800
- Amazing.
- Ever since I was a little boy,
103
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,100
my father wanted me to be
a gynecologist like him.
104
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,800
How can I be a gynecologist?
I can barely look a woman in the eye!
105
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,600
You know what?
106
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,100
I'm not going to let my parents
control my future any longer.
107
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,800
It's time for a showdown.
108
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,200
Somebody give me a computer
with a webcam!
109
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,200
Sweetie, I think
that's the Grasshopper talking.
110
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,000
And it's about to tell my parents
111
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,500
that I'm not riding an elephant
down the aisle with Lalita Gupta.
112
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,100
Okay, calm down.
113
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,700
No one can make you get married.
114
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,400
Why don't you just meet this girl
and see what happens?
115
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,200
Haven't you been listening to me?
I cannot talk to women.
116
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,500
No, no, let's see
how long it takes him.
117
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,100
Raj, honey,
118
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,900
you say you can't talk to women,
but you've been talking to me.
119
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,600
And now we'll never know.
120
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,300
You're right.
121
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,200
I am talking to you.
122
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,600
Hello, Penny, how are you?
123
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,600
- I'm fine.
- Okay, now I just need
124
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,700
to make sure I have a Lalita
before I meet the Grasshopper.
125
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,400
It's a sweet, green miracle.
126
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,600
If you're going to drink on this date,
just promise me you won't overdo it.
127
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000
Overdo what?
128
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,500
Happiness?
129
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,800
Freedom?
130
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,100
This warm glow inside of me
131
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,100
that promises everything's
going to be all hunky-dunky?
132
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,700
Yeah, that.
Why don't you bring her to my restaurant
133
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,100
while I'm tending the bar
so I can keep an eye on you.
134
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,900
What's the plan here?
135
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,200
Let's say he meets her,
he likes her, they get married.
136
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,900
What's he going to do,
stay drunk for the rest of his life?
137
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,600
Worked for my parents.
1
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,800
I can't believe I'm sitting here
next to little Lalita Gupta.
2
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,300
Well, you are.
3
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,200
Little Lalita.
4
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,600
That's kind of fun to say.
5
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,100
Little Lalita, little
Lalita, little Lalita.
6
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,900
- You should try it.
- Oh, it's okay.
7
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,000
You have lost so much weight.
8
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,700
That must have been difficult for you
because you were so, so fat.
9
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,600
Do you remember?
10
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,500
Yes, I do.
11
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,500
Of course you do.
Who could forget being that fat?
12
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,600
I've been trying.
13
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,600
So you're a dental student.
14
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:28,100
Are you aware that dentists
have an extremely high suicide rate?
15
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,400
Not as high as, say,
air traffic controllers,
16
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,900
but there are far more dentists
than air traffic controllers,
17
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,800
so in pure numbers,
you're still winning.
18
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:37,700
Yay, me.
19
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,000
Do you have a drink that will
make him less obnoxious?
20
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,100
Drinks do not work that way.
21
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,200
I'd say he's doing fine.
Look at her.
22
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,800
The last girl my mom set me up with
had a mustache and a vestigial tail.
23
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,100
- Sorry I'm late.
- What happened?
24
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,500
Nothing.
I just really didn't want to come.
25
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,200
Virgin diet Cuba Libre, please.
26
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,200
In a tall glass
with a lime wedge.
27
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,200
Oh, I'll wedge it right in there.
28
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,000
So how's Koothrappali...
29
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,700
Oh, my Lord.
30
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,200
- What?
- That's Princess Panchali.
31
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,700
I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita.
32
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:23,400
No, no, Princess Panchali,
fromThe Monkey and the Princess.
33
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,800
Oh, yeah. I tried to watch that online,
but they wanted my credit card.
34
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,300
It's a children's story.
35
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,800
Oh, no, it isn't.
36
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,500
When I was a little boy and got sick,
which was most of the time,
37
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,100
my mother would read it to me.
38
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:44,200
It's about an Indian princess
who befriends a monkey
39
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,600
who was mocked by all the other monkeys
because he was different.
40
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,200
For some reason,
I related to it quite strongly.
41
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,600
I know the reason.
42
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,200
We all know the reason.
43
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,600
Sheldon, what are you getting at?
44
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,800
That woman looks
exactly like the pictures
45
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,600
of Princess Panchali in the book.
46
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,500
How often does one see a beloved
fictional character come to life?
47
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,700
Every year at Comic-Con.
48
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,300
Every day at Disneyland.
49
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,900
You can hire Snow White
to come to your house.
50
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,400
Of course, they prefer it
if you have a kid.
51
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,500
Hey, guys.
This is Lalita Gupta.
52
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:20,900
Lalita, this is Leonard
53
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,000
and Sheldon
and Howard and Penny.
54
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,400
Isn't it great?
She isn't fat anymore.
55
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,200
"Forgive me, Your Highness,
for I am but a monkey,
56
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,000
"and it is in my nature to climb.
57
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,600
"I did not mean to gaze upon you
58
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,300
as you comb your hair."
59
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,100
I'm sorry?
60
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,500
You are the living embodiment
of the beautiful Princess Panchali.
61
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,500
Oh, no kidding.
62
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,200
Who is that?
63
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,900
A beloved character
from an Indian folktale.
64
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,400
Us Indian or
"Come to our casino" Indian?
65
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,700
You Indian.
66
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,700
The resemblance is remarkable.
67
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,900
I can practically smell
the lotus blossoms
68
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,500
woven into your ebony hair.
69
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,000
Well, thanks.
70
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,700
I imagine you smell very nice, too.
71
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,700
I shower twice a day and wash
my hands as often as I can.
72
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,300
Really? So do I.
73
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,600
But you're a dentist.
He's nuts.
74
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,100
Don't be insulting, Rajesh.
75
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,700
So, Sheldon,
76
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,700
tell me more about this princess
you say I look like.
77
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:26,800
It was said that the gods
fashioned her eyes out of the stars
78
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,100
and that roses were ashamed to bloom
in the presence of her ruby lips.
79
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,100
- Oh, my.
- Back off, Sheldon.
80
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,500
What?
81
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,600
If you do not stop hitting on my lady,
you'll feel the full extent of my wrath.
82
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,700
I'm not hitting on her.
83
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,500
And I am not your lady.
84
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,300
And you have no wrath.
85
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,700
You are my lady.
Our parents said so.
86
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,400
We are, for all intents
and purposes, 100% hooked up.
87
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,400
Let's get something straight here.
88
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,400
The only reason I came tonight
was to get my parents off my case.
89
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,200
I certainly don't need to be getting
this Old World crap from you.
90
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,000
That's exactly the kind of spirit
91
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,700
with which Princess Panchali
led the monkeys to freedom.
92
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,100
- Screw Princess Panchali.
- You can't talk to me like that.
93
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,800
But you're not Princess Panchali.
94
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,300
Luckily for you--
she could have you beheaded.
95
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,400
Sheldon, are you hungry?
96
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,600
- I could eat.
- Let's go.
97
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,000
What just happened?
98
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,900
Beats the hell out of me.
99
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,300
I'll tell you what happened. I just
learned how to pick up Indian chicks.
100
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,600
What are we supposed to say
to Lalita's parents?
101
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,600
I play golf with her father.
I won't be able to look at him.
102
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,300
Maybe you should keep your eye
on the ball, Papa.
103
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,200
Oh, now you're a funny man.
104
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,200
This is not funny, Mr. Funny Man.
105
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,500
Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali,
106
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,200
in all fairness,
it wasn't entirely Raj's fault.
107
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,000
This is a family matter, Sheldon.
108
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,200
I'm Leonard.
109
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,000
Sorry.
You all look alike to us.
110
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,000
But he's right, Papa.
Listen to him.
111
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,000
You! You are the one
who ruined everything.
112
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,800
Who is it?
We can't see.
113
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,300
Turn us.
Turn us!
114
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,500
Go ahead, tell my parents
why they won't have any grandchildren.
115
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,500
How would I know?
Do you have a low sperm count?
116
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,700
This has nothing to do
with my sperm count.
117
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,600
You are wearing the boxers
that we sent you, aren't you?
118
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,800
- Yes, Mumi.
- Because you know what happens
119
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:23,200
to the samosas
when you wear tighty-whities.
120
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,700
Can we please stop talking
about my testicles?
121
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,700
Sheldon, tell them what you did.
122
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:29,900
What did I do?
123
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,800
You left with his date.
124
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,100
Friends don't do that to each other.
125
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,600
All right, noted.
126
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:40,900
Sorry.
127
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,800
Sorry?
That's all you can say is sorry?
128
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:45,300
Take it.
It's more than I've ever gotten.
129
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,500
May I point out,
130
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,700
she wouldn't have asked me to go with
her if you hadn't been drunk and boring.
131
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,200
- Drunk?
- And boring-- her words.
132
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,000
I knew it. He moves to America
and he becomes an alcoholic.
133
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,600
I'm not an alcoholic.
134
00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,300
Then why were you drunk?
135
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,700
- It was just this one time, I swear.
- Are you in denial?
136
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,900
Do we have to come over
and do an intervention?
137
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,400
Don't embarrass him
in front of his friends.
138
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,600
All right.
Carry us outside.
139
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,600
We want to talk to you in private.
140
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,000
- But, Papa, please...
- Now, Rajesh!
141
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,700
I have to go.
142
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,200
Now, listen to me...
143
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,300
At least wait till I get into the hall.
144
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,200
Okay, well, good night.
145
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:31,800
Hold on.
146
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,700
What happened
with you and Lalita?
147
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,500
We ate,
she lectured me
148
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,800
on the link between gum disease
and heart attacks--
149
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,100
nothing I didn't already know--
and I came home.
150
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,500
So you're not going
to see her again?
151
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,700
Why would I see her again?
152
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,700
I already have a dentist.
153
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,800
I wonder who's going to tell his parents
they're not having grandchildren?
154
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,100
I don't believe it.
What's gotten into him?
155
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,100
Oh, maybe a couple
virgin Cuba Libres
156
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,600
that turned out
to be kind of slutty.
157
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,100
You didn't.
158
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,500
You do your experiments.
I do mine.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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