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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:03,360 All right, Professor Proton fans, 2 00:00:03,429 --> 00:00:05,629 get ready to meet Dr. Sheldon Cooper 3 00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:09,166 and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a pair of real-life scientists 4 00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,702 who may win the Nobel Prize. 5 00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,737 That's like the Kids' Choice Award, 6 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:18,141 but with more science and less slime. 7 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:19,676 Hi, thanks for having us. 8 00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:20,978 Kids' Choice Award? 9 00:00:21,046 --> 00:00:22,746 Why would they let kids choose anything? 10 00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:25,682 They're basically human larvae. 11 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:28,318 Well, they are kind of our target audience. 12 00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:33,924 Greetings, children. 13 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:36,493 Toys, am I right? 14 00:00:36,562 --> 00:00:39,663 He is. He has hundreds of them. 15 00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,265 So you two have discovered something 16 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,600 that a lot of people are really excited about. 17 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,102 (chuckles) We have. 18 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,737 Now, before you explain it, 19 00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:50,407 keep in mind that our average viewer is this many. 20 00:00:50,476 --> 00:00:54,278 Okay, imagine you're looking in a mirror. 21 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,847 The image you see looks just like you. 22 00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:58,882 That's called symmetrical. 23 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:01,351 Now imagine you have a billion mirrors, 24 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,288 and each of them reflects one thing about you correctly 25 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,890 and a billion things about you incorrectly. 26 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,226 And imagine the set of incorrect things 27 00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:12,729 are floating in an abstract n-dimensional hyperspace. 28 00:01:12,798 --> 00:01:16,733 Now imagine there was never a mirror to begin with. 29 00:01:18,337 --> 00:01:19,569 Oh, was that a doorbell? 30 00:01:19,638 --> 00:01:20,937 I didn't hear anything. 31 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,808 (doorbell rings) 32 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,210 Huh, there it is again. 33 00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:28,578 Sheldon, why don't you answer it? 34 00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:30,881 But I don't know who it is. 35 00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:34,818 Maybe it's a special guest who I invited just to surprise you. 36 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,920 Why don't you open it up and find out. 37 00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:39,089 This is a terrible message to send to children. 38 00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,490 Children, you never open the door 39 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,392 if you don't know who's on the other side. 40 00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:44,494 You always make your mommy or daddy do it 41 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,763 while you hide under the bed and try to imagine 42 00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,900 what your superhero name will be when you avenge their deaths. 43 00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:52,669 I'll get it. 44 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,905 But it can't be The Silver Shadow-- that's mine. 45 00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,009 Hello. 46 00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:04,181 Captain on the bridge! Captain on the bridge! 47 00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,950 You're William Shatner. 48 00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,285 You can call me Bill. 49 00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:09,686 Ooh, can I call you Captain? No. 50 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,655 Please? No. 51 00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,757 (whispers): Please? 52 00:02:13,826 --> 00:02:15,125 Sure. 53 00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:19,029 And w-will you call me Science Officer Cooper? 54 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,864 This has got to stop. 55 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,700 I think you know how to make it stop. 56 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,303 Put her there, Science Officer Cooper. 57 00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:31,608 Put her there, Science Officer Cooper. 58 00:02:31,677 --> 00:02:35,178 (Sheldon vomits) 59 00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:37,547 Oh, poor Shatner. 60 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,983 Poor Shatner? I have to eat lunch now. 61 00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:43,153 Look, Sheldon's pretty embarrassed, 62 00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,788 so when he gets here, we should... 63 00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,190 Make fun of him? (chuckles) A lot. 64 00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:48,992 Guys, don't you think that's a little mean? 65 00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:49,708 Yeah. 66 00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:51,295 Okay, just so we're all on the same page. 67 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,396 Yeah. 68 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,797 - Hello. OTHERS: Hey. 69 00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:55,532 So, Sheldon, did you get 70 00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:57,946 William Shatner's autograph, or maybe his dry cleaning bill? 71 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:58,902 (chuckles) 72 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,304 Very funny, get it all out. 73 00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,873 Like you did on William Shatner? 74 00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:07,010 Raj, do you have something to add? 75 00:03:07,079 --> 00:03:10,080 You brought shame upon yourself and your family. 76 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:13,150 It's not funny, but it's true. 77 00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:16,019 I will admit the meeting did not go the way I wanted. 78 00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:19,189 (à la Shatner): Because you barfed where no man has barfed before? 79 00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:23,860 Well, the next time I meet him, it will go better. 80 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,696 Next time? What makes you think there's gonna be a next time? 81 00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,833 Wil will give me another chance. He thinks the world of me. 82 00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:32,035 Aw. One of the reasons I love you 83 00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:34,738 is you actually believe that. 84 00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,247 Thank you. 85 00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:39,248 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x16 ♪ The D & D Vortex Original Air Date on Feb 86 00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:42,579 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 87 00:03:42,648 --> 00:03:45,882 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 88 00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:47,451 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 89 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:50,253 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 90 00:03:50,322 --> 00:03:52,756 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 91 00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:55,459 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 92 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,360 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 93 00:03:57,429 --> 00:03:58,962 ♪ Bang! ♪ 94 00:03:58,986 --> 00:04:00,986 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 95 00:04:06,666 --> 00:04:09,867 Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. 96 00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:11,869 Wil Wheaton. 97 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:18,042 (doorbell rings) 98 00:04:18,111 --> 00:04:19,477 Wil Wheaton. 99 00:04:19,546 --> 00:04:20,745 (doorbell rings) Wil Wheaton. 100 00:04:20,814 --> 00:04:21,746 (doorbell rings) 101 00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:24,282 Wil Wheaton. 102 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,884 Now's not a good time, Sheldon. 103 00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:29,887 For what? You. 104 00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:32,557 I need to apologize. 105 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,559 Apology accepted. MAN: Wil, come on, 106 00:04:34,628 --> 00:04:35,727 I cast fireball, 107 00:04:35,795 --> 00:04:37,328 you need to roll your dexterity save. 108 00:04:37,397 --> 00:04:38,763 I'll be right there. 109 00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:41,065 Are you playing Dungeons & Dragons? 110 00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:42,600 - No. MAN 2: Would you hurry up, 111 00:04:42,669 --> 00:04:44,569 man, the map says this dungeon's 112 00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:47,405 full of dragons. 113 00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:50,908 Still no. Who are you playing with? 114 00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:53,444 Ugh... it's just some friends, you don't know them. 115 00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:54,445 SHATNER: Wheaton, get back here. 116 00:04:54,514 --> 00:04:55,780 Hobgoblins are at the gate, 117 00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:59,617 and you're at the door buying Girl Scout Cookies. 118 00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,688 Is that William Shat...? Nope. 119 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,762 Hey, you guys want to read my fan fiction mash-up, 120 00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:12,430 "Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"? 121 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,000 - Nope. - No. - Certainly not. 122 00:05:16,069 --> 00:05:17,502 You don't even know what it's about. 123 00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:18,936 Is it about a superhero 124 00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,705 who finds her voice by doing stand-up? 125 00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:23,808 That's so much better than what I had. 126 00:05:24,944 --> 00:05:27,845 Mine is just a Jewish girl that flies. 127 00:05:27,914 --> 00:05:30,715 I'd read that. 128 00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:33,117 Guys, guys, Wil Wheaton 129 00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:35,320 hosts a secret celebrity D&D game. 130 00:05:35,388 --> 00:05:36,688 How do you know? Who was there? 131 00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:38,389 Why are you damp? 132 00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,792 I was trying to peek in Wil's window, 133 00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:42,327 and he turned the sprinklers on. 134 00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:45,863 Oh, that means they must be really famous. 135 00:05:45,932 --> 00:05:47,799 I'm almost positive I heard William Shatner. 136 00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:50,068 I wonder who else is playing. 137 00:05:50,136 --> 00:05:53,838 I-I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows 138 00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,207 and who is likely to play D&D. Yes. 139 00:05:56,276 --> 00:06:01,179 Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast... 140 00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:04,382 So this is the rest of our night, huh? 141 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,417 Oh, no, 142 00:06:06,486 --> 00:06:08,753 this is the rest of our lives. 143 00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:15,059 And Josh Brolin gets you to every Avenger. 144 00:06:15,128 --> 00:06:17,195 Kevin Smith's in this article 145 00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:18,696 about celebrities who play D&D. 146 00:06:18,765 --> 00:06:20,231 Oh! A-And he was on Wil's podcast, 147 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,899 so they know each other. 148 00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:23,234 G-Go on his Instagram, 149 00:06:23,303 --> 00:06:24,463 see if you can find anything. 150 00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:26,337 Yeah, he-he posted something an hour ago: 151 00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:27,872 "#GameNight." 152 00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:30,742 That looks like Wil's house. 153 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,243 William Shatner, 154 00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:34,445 Kevin Smith-- who else could be there? 155 00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:36,881 Do you see what I see over his shoulder? 156 00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,584 Is that a ghost? 157 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,754 I think it's Stuart. 158 00:06:45,024 --> 00:06:48,459 That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there? 159 00:06:48,528 --> 00:06:50,461 Maybe he died in Wil's house 160 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:53,131 and he can't leave until he solves his own murder. 161 00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:58,403 Why would Wil invite Stuart and not us? 162 00:06:58,471 --> 00:07:00,304 I know the answer. Yeah. 163 00:07:00,373 --> 00:07:02,240 We all know the answer. 164 00:07:16,656 --> 00:07:17,922 Hey, guys. 165 00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:20,425 You're home late. 166 00:07:20,493 --> 00:07:22,727 Uh, yeah. 167 00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:26,464 I had a crazy night. I went to the pharmacy. 168 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,600 I like to be there when the new decongestants drop. 169 00:07:29,669 --> 00:07:31,769 Cut the crap. We know where you were. 170 00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:33,171 We know what you were doing. 171 00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:37,341 Yeah, I just told you. I was at CVS breathing my ass off. 172 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:38,654 Oh, you were breathing, all right. 173 00:07:38,678 --> 00:07:40,678 You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities. 174 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:41,991 I don't know what you're talking about. 175 00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,181 Then why are you trembling? 176 00:07:43,249 --> 00:07:45,016 I'm always trembling. 177 00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:46,851 We know you were at Wil's D&D game. 178 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:47,985 We saw you on Instagram. 179 00:07:48,054 --> 00:07:49,632 We just want to know how you got invited. 180 00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:53,825 I can't talk about it or they won't invite me back next week. 181 00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,526 So there's another game next week. 182 00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,595 I didn't mean to say that. 183 00:07:57,664 --> 00:07:59,464 Who's in it? I can't tell you! 184 00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:01,966 How do we get invited? I don't know! 185 00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:04,469 How many hit dice are they playing the wereboar as having? 186 00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:08,105 12d8 + 24-- I mean, I don't know! 187 00:08:11,077 --> 00:08:13,010 (phone ringing) 188 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,813 Hey, Stuart. 189 00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,962 I don't want to play anymore. It's too much pressure. 190 00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:21,886 Why, what happened? I've-I've said too much. 191 00:08:21,955 --> 00:08:23,621 You haven't said anything. 192 00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,791 Not to you, to them. Who's them? 193 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,560 Ah! Now I have said too much! 194 00:08:32,565 --> 00:08:34,632 But y-you blocked your number, right? 195 00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,833 Relax, 196 00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:39,303 this is not my first creepy phone call. 197 00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,907 It's like riding a bike... slowly past a girl's house. 198 00:08:44,577 --> 00:08:45,710 WHEATON (over phone): Hello. 199 00:08:45,778 --> 00:08:46,911 (imitating Shatner): Wil, 200 00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:48,546 Bill Shatner here. 201 00:08:50,383 --> 00:08:53,251 Is this Howard? 202 00:08:53,319 --> 00:08:56,821 Of course not. It-It's Shatner. 203 00:08:56,890 --> 00:09:00,491 If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, Christopher Walken. 204 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,261 (imitating Walken): Hello, Bill and I are just 205 00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,731 hanging out... 206 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,766 at The Polo Lounge. 207 00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:12,403 Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken, here are your martinis. (glass dings) 208 00:09:12,472 --> 00:09:13,749 (whispering in normal voice): What are you doing? 209 00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:15,451 I'm filling out the world. You're ruining it. 210 00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,041 No, he's not. 211 00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,877 Thanks, Wil. 212 00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:29,098 Sheldon, why are you walking everywhere? Just get a horse. 213 00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:32,256 I had a horse. It got hit by a train. 214 00:09:32,325 --> 00:09:33,591 Get another one. 215 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,092 I can't just replace Chauncey. 216 00:09:35,161 --> 00:09:37,194 I'm still in the grieving process. 217 00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:39,931 (phone ringing) 218 00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:41,299 Hey. 219 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,768 Hey, Leonard, I have an opening in my D&D game next week, 220 00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,948 and I was wondering if you were interested in playing. 221 00:09:45,972 --> 00:09:47,471 Well, yes, thank you. 222 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,073 Okay, great. 223 00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,375 Now, here's the thing, you can't tell anyone. 224 00:09:51,444 --> 00:09:53,144 I'm serious, not Howard, not Raj, 225 00:09:53,212 --> 00:09:54,812 and certainly not Sheldon. 226 00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:56,247 Okay. 227 00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:57,660 I'm really sorry to put you in a position 228 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,616 where you have to lie to your friends... 229 00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,585 See you there! 230 00:10:02,055 --> 00:10:04,622 You come face to face with a massive monster 231 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,223 with a gaping maw 232 00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:11,162 full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. 233 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,431 What do you do? 234 00:10:13,499 --> 00:10:16,667 Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. 235 00:10:18,304 --> 00:10:20,404 Here's the plan... 236 00:10:20,473 --> 00:10:22,573 Hold on there, Bill. 237 00:10:22,642 --> 00:10:24,108 Now what, Kareem? 238 00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:29,146 How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh? 239 00:10:29,215 --> 00:10:30,648 Same way I know the difference 240 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,350 between an owlbear and a bugbear. 241 00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,318 Does that answer your question? 242 00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:36,687 No. 243 00:10:40,393 --> 00:10:41,859 Look, there's one way to settle this: 244 00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:43,461 we chop it up and look at the pieces. 245 00:10:43,529 --> 00:10:46,364 Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? 246 00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:47,743 Why can't we just try talking to it? 247 00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:51,869 Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk. 248 00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,971 What do you think, Leonard? 249 00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:01,779 I think this is the greatest day of my entire life. 250 00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:05,316 It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl. 251 00:11:11,572 --> 00:11:13,004 Hey, how was your lecture? 252 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,083 Oh, it was so good. 253 00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:17,351 I-I-I mean, it-it started great, 254 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,820 and then the, the middle was great, 255 00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,500 and then the ending was like... (imitates explosion) 256 00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:22,524 So great. 257 00:11:25,161 --> 00:11:29,697 Leonard, if you went to House of Pies again, just say it. 258 00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,209 (stammers) Wait, if you think I'm lying, 259 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,513 why do you think I'm eating pies? 260 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,202 Why don't you think I'm... having an affair? 261 00:11:35,271 --> 00:11:38,639 Listen, i-it's fine, just next time, bring me a slice. 262 00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:42,209 Okay, well, if you really want to know, 263 00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:43,777 I'll tell you where I was. 264 00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:46,547 I was at Wil's D&D game, but that's all I can say. 265 00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:49,216 Oh, fun. Were there famous people there? 266 00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:53,187 Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't tell you that. 267 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,155 Okay, well, yes, 268 00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:59,059 but I-I-I-I can't tell you who. 269 00:11:59,128 --> 00:12:01,061 Well, no, I-I can tell you Shatner, 270 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:03,297 but that's only because you already knew that one. 271 00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,898 Well, I'm glad you had fun. 272 00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,500 Yeah. 273 00:12:06,569 --> 00:12:08,836 Ugh, I wish I could tell you who else was there. 274 00:12:08,904 --> 00:12:10,904 (chuckles) I can't, I promised. 275 00:12:10,973 --> 00:12:13,507 Yeah, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't care less. 276 00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:15,843 That's true, 277 00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,145 you don't care, so there's no harm in telling you. 278 00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:19,913 Okay, you really don't have to. 279 00:12:19,982 --> 00:12:22,516 All right, I'll tell you. Uh... 280 00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:24,318 (stammers) Kevin Smith was there, 281 00:12:24,386 --> 00:12:28,021 and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem. 282 00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,991 Wait-wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? 283 00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,194 I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. 284 00:12:36,432 --> 00:12:37,931 How do you know him? 285 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,566 How do you not know him? 286 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,169 Well, I know him now 'cause he was there. 287 00:12:42,238 --> 00:12:43,170 Wow. 288 00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:46,073 That is so cool. 289 00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:47,741 Oh, a-and that, uh, the guy that played 290 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,176 the werewolf on-on True Blood, 291 00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:52,012 he was there. Wh-- Joe Manganiello? 292 00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:56,583 Uh, yeah. From Magic Mike? 293 00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,286 What's that? 294 00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:01,421 Okay, okay, 295 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,926 did he look... like this? 296 00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:08,729 He had his clothes on, but, yeah. 297 00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:10,097 (sighs) 298 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,765 I can't believe you met Joe Manganiello. 299 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,066 Is he nice? Oh, he's so nice. 300 00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:16,103 I-I-I rolled my dice underneath the couch, 301 00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:19,473 and he just lifted it up, one hand. 302 00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,409 Oh, I-I bet he did. 303 00:13:24,947 --> 00:13:27,114 Hi. Okay, can you guys keep a secret? 304 00:13:27,183 --> 00:13:28,315 Yeah. Sure. 305 00:13:28,384 --> 00:13:30,751 Good, 'cause I can't. 306 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,920 Leonard played Dungeons & Dragons 307 00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:34,421 with the hot guy from Magic Mike. 308 00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:38,058 I never got to see that movie. Seriously? 309 00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:39,560 Yeah, Howie made us leave 310 00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,595 as soon as he realized it wasn't about magic. 311 00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:46,266 Well, I have seen that movie one or seven times, 312 00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:48,268 and trust me, it is magic. 313 00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,439 - Which guy? - That one. 314 00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:54,975 Abracadabra. 315 00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:59,746 Hey, you know what was fun? 316 00:13:59,815 --> 00:14:02,616 That time we played Dungeons & Dragons. 317 00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:06,687 That was fun. We should play that more. 318 00:14:08,824 --> 00:14:10,958 Sorry, what now? 319 00:14:16,699 --> 00:14:18,265 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 320 00:14:18,334 --> 00:14:20,767 Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon might have left something. 321 00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,970 Oh, you mean, besides his lunch? 322 00:14:23,038 --> 00:14:24,671 (laughter) 323 00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:28,842 You are so funny, Wil. 324 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,145 We were just talking about how funny you are. 325 00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,881 Yeah, Leonard told you, didn't he? 326 00:14:33,949 --> 00:14:35,382 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Yup. - Yeah. 327 00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:37,050 It's Manganiello? 328 00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:38,685 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 329 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:39,987 Feel good about yourselves? 330 00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,989 - Nope. - No. - Yeah. 331 00:14:44,393 --> 00:14:46,960 Oh, we're going with no? No. 332 00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:51,965 Hey, guys. 333 00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,800 What are you smiling about? 334 00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:56,036 What? This is my regular face. 335 00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:58,005 No, it's not. 336 00:14:58,073 --> 00:15:00,908 Y-Your regular face is more like this... 337 00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:07,748 No, no, i-it's-it's more in the eyebrows, like this... 338 00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,387 (chuckles) Okay, make your jokes. 339 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,821 I'm still in a great mood. 340 00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:17,357 (phone ringing) 341 00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:20,027 Hey. 342 00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:21,428 Wait, what? 343 00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:25,365 Why? 344 00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:28,101 Oh, come on, but... 345 00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:32,940 O-Okay, fine. 346 00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:35,909 Huh, Raj was right, it is more in the eyebrows. 347 00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,512 What was that all about? 348 00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,380 Wil kicked me out of his D&D game. 349 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,884 You were in Wil's D&D game? 350 00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:45,786 With William Shatner? And you didn't tell us? 351 00:15:45,854 --> 00:15:48,588 I'm sorry, Wil made me promise not to. 352 00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,223 I thought we were friends. 353 00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,559 Oh, come on, you guys would do the same thing. 354 00:15:52,628 --> 00:15:54,227 No, we wouldn't! I told you when I was 355 00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,862 in spin class with Scarlett Johansson. 356 00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,898 It didn't even turn out to be Scarlett Johansson. 357 00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:00,734 Well, that's her fault, not mine! 358 00:16:00,803 --> 00:16:02,235 It doesn't matter 359 00:16:02,304 --> 00:16:05,138 because Penny blabbed about it and now I'm out. 360 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,209 So there's an open seat. 361 00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,112 Wil! Wil Wheaton! 362 00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,114 Open! Open! 363 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,884 No. No. No. 364 00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:19,252 Hell no. 365 00:16:19,321 --> 00:16:22,889 Look, we know Leonard is out. You need to fill a seat. 366 00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:25,292 It should be one of us. 367 00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:26,727 Or give me another chance. 368 00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:29,396 I think me and Joe Manganiello were really hitting it off. 369 00:16:29,465 --> 00:16:32,432 Joe Manganiello was there? From Magic Mike? 370 00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:35,168 You guys suck. 371 00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,170 Agreed. You guys suck. Let's go, Wil. 372 00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,772 No. 373 00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:41,508 All of you. 374 00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,410 You're just trying to use me 375 00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:45,245 to get close to my famous friends. 376 00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:46,913 Do you know how that makes me feel? 377 00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:49,149 Flattered? (chuckles) 378 00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,151 Used. 379 00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:54,454 I was gonna guess that. 380 00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,490 One of the worst things about being a celebrity 381 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,860 is you never know if people like you for you. 382 00:16:59,928 --> 00:17:03,330 Well, thanks for letting me know. 383 00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:04,831 (sighs) 384 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,501 You're right, that was really crappy of us. 385 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:11,338 Yeah, I guess we just got caught up in the excitement. 386 00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:14,274 We're sorry, Wil. We do like you for you. 387 00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,776 And if it makes you feel 388 00:17:15,844 --> 00:17:18,084 any better, I don't even really consider you a celebrity. 389 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,186 Should we go or do you want to wait for the sprinklers? 390 00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:33,938 Guys, I-I still feel a little bad about Wil. 391 00:17:34,006 --> 00:17:35,206 Me, too. 392 00:17:35,274 --> 00:17:38,642 Yeah. We should invite him to come play with us. 393 00:17:38,711 --> 00:17:40,845 Ask him to bring some chips 394 00:17:40,913 --> 00:17:42,446 because we're all out. 395 00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,448 (stammers) Hey, Wil, this is Leonard. 396 00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:45,683 (gasps) Make it Bugles. 397 00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:47,251 No, no, no, no, no, pretzel sticks. 398 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,752 No, no, no, Bugles. 399 00:17:49,889 --> 00:17:51,689 We're gonna play some D&D 400 00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:53,068 and thought you might want to join us. 401 00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,303 Thank you, Leonard, but actually 402 00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,960 I can't do it tonight. 403 00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:57,962 Uh, how about another time? 404 00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,798 Okay, great. Thanks. Bye. 405 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,800 Okay, where were we? 406 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:10,274 I was about to go all Wrath of Khan on the ogres. 407 00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:11,809 Oh, man, that's it. 408 00:18:11,878 --> 00:18:14,678 Put another dollar in the Star Trek jar, Bill. 409 00:18:14,747 --> 00:18:17,214 Worth it. 410 00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:22,786 Speaking of putting dollars in things... 411 00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:28,292 I loved you in Magic Mike. 412 00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:30,361 (chuckles) Thanks. (chuckles) 413 00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:31,962 Switch places with me. 414 00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:37,568 Are we playing musical chairs or Dungeons & Dragons? 415 00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:41,071 Yeah, let's teach that ogre what my broadsword tastes like. 416 00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:44,408 I like your moxie. 417 00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:47,311 Aw, and I like your grandpa words. 418 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:56,720 My dad and I watched you win back-to-back championships. 419 00:18:56,789 --> 00:19:00,925 And I watched you sniff Joe's hair when he wasn't looking. 420 00:19:04,997 --> 00:19:07,331 Thank you again for inviting us, and don't worry, 421 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,866 we won't tell the guys. 422 00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:11,368 You know what, why don't you tell the guys? 423 00:19:11,437 --> 00:19:13,203 In fact, let's all take a picture 424 00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,772 and send it to them right now. 425 00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:20,344 (phones buzzing) 426 00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,179 That's weird. 427 00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:29,219 We deserve that. 428 00:19:32,157 --> 00:19:39,157 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 31270

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