Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:03,360
All right,
Professor Proton fans,
2
00:00:03,429 --> 00:00:05,629
get ready to meet
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
3
00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:09,166
and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,
a pair of real-life scientists
4
00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,702
who may win the Nobel Prize.
5
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,737
That's like
the Kids' Choice Award,
6
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:18,141
but with more science
and less slime.
7
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:19,676
Hi, thanks for having us.
8
00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:20,978
Kids' Choice Award?
9
00:00:21,046 --> 00:00:22,746
Why would they let kids
choose anything?
10
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:25,682
They're basically
human larvae.
11
00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:28,318
Well, they are kind of
our target audience.
12
00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:33,924
Greetings, children.
13
00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:36,493
Toys, am I right?
14
00:00:36,562 --> 00:00:39,663
He is. He has hundreds of them.
15
00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,265
So you two have
discovered something
16
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,600
that a lot of people
are really excited about.
17
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,102
We have.
18
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,737
Now, before
you explain it,
19
00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:50,407
keep in mind that our
average viewer is this many.
20
00:00:50,476 --> 00:00:54,278
Okay, imagine you're
looking in a mirror.
21
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,847
The image you see
looks just like you.
22
00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:58,882
That's called symmetrical.
23
00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:01,351
Now imagine you have
a billion mirrors,
24
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,288
and each of them reflects
one thing about you correctly
25
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,890
and a billion things
about you incorrectly.
26
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,226
And imagine the set
of incorrect things
27
00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:12,729
are floating in an abstract
n-dimensional hyperspace.
28
00:01:12,798 --> 00:01:16,733
Now imagine there was never
a mirror to begin with.
29
00:01:18,337 --> 00:01:19,569
Oh, was that
a doorbell?
30
00:01:19,638 --> 00:01:20,937
I didn't
hear anything.
31
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,210
Huh, there it is again.
32
00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:28,578
Sheldon, why don't
you answer it?
33
00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:30,881
But I don't know who it is.
34
00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:34,818
Maybe it's a special guest who
I invited just to surprise you.
35
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,920
Why don't you open it up
and find out.
36
00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:39,089
This is a terrible message
to send to children.
37
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,490
Children, you never
open the door
38
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,392
if you don't know
who's on the other side.
39
00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:44,494
You always make your
mommy or daddy do it
40
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,763
while you hide under the bed
and try to imagine
41
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,900
what your superhero name will be
when you avenge their deaths.
42
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:52,669
I'll get it.
43
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,905
But it can't be The Silver
Shadow-- that's mine.
44
00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,009
Hello.
45
00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:04,181
Captain on the bridge!
Captain on the bridge!
46
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,950
You're William Shatner.
47
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,285
You can call me Bill.
48
00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:09,686
Ooh, can I call you Captain?
No.
49
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,655
Please?
No.
50
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,757
Please?
51
00:02:13,826 --> 00:02:15,125
Sure.
52
00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:19,029
And w-will you call me
Science Officer Cooper?
53
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,864
This has got to stop.
54
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,700
I think you know
how to make it stop.
55
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,303
Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.
56
00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:31,608
Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.
57
00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:37,547
Oh, poor Shatner.
58
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,983
Poor Shatner?
I have to eat lunch now.
59
00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:43,153
Look, Sheldon's
pretty embarrassed,
60
00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,788
so when he gets here,
we should...
61
00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,190
Make fun of him?
A lot.
62
00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:48,992
Guys, don't you think
that's a little mean?
63
00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:49,708
Yeah.
64
00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:51,295
Okay, just so we're
all on the same page.
65
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,396
Yeah.
66
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,797
- Hello.
- Hey.
67
00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:55,532
So, Sheldon,
did you get
68
00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:57,946
William Shatner's autograph,
or maybe his dry cleaning bill?
69
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,304
Very funny, get it all out.
70
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,873
Like you did on William Shatner?
71
00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:07,010
Raj, do you have
something to add?
72
00:03:07,079 --> 00:03:10,080
You brought shame upon
yourself and your family.
73
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:13,150
It's not funny,
but it's true.
74
00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:16,019
I will admit the meeting
did not go the way I wanted.
75
00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:19,189
Because you barfed where no man
has barfed before?
76
00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:23,860
Well, the next time I meet him,
it will go better.
77
00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,696
Next time? What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
78
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,833
Wil will give me another chance.
He thinks the world of me.
79
00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:32,035
Aw. One of the reasons
I love you
80
00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:34,738
is you actually believe that.
81
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,247
Thank you.
82
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:39,248
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x16 ♪
The D & D Vortex
Original Air Date on Feb
83
00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:42,579
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
84
00:03:42,648 --> 00:03:45,882
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
85
00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:47,451
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
86
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:50,253
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
87
00:03:50,322 --> 00:03:52,756
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
88
00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:55,459
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
89
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,360
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
90
00:03:57,429 --> 00:03:58,962
♪ Bang! ♪
91
00:03:58,986 --> 00:04:00,986
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
92
00:04:06,666 --> 00:04:09,867
Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.
93
00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:11,869
Wil Wheaton.
94
00:04:18,111 --> 00:04:19,477
Wil Wheaton.
95
00:04:19,546 --> 00:04:20,745
Wil Wheaton.
96
00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:24,282
Wil Wheaton.
97
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,884
Now's not a good time, Sheldon.
98
00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:29,887
For what?
You.
99
00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:32,557
I need to apologize.
100
00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,559
- Apology accepted.
- Wil, come on,
101
00:04:34,628 --> 00:04:35,727
I cast fireball,
102
00:04:35,795 --> 00:04:37,328
you need to roll
your dexterity save.
103
00:04:37,397 --> 00:04:38,763
I'll be right there.
104
00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:41,065
Are you playing
Dungeons & Dragons?
105
00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:42,600
- No.
- Would you hurry up,
106
00:04:42,669 --> 00:04:44,569
man, the map says
this dungeon's
107
00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:47,405
full of dragons.
108
00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:50,908
Still no.
Who are you playing with?
109
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:53,444
Ugh... it's just some friends,
you don't know them.
110
00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:54,445
Wheaton, get back here.
111
00:04:54,514 --> 00:04:55,780
Hobgoblins
are at the gate,
112
00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:59,617
and you're at the door
buying Girl Scout Cookies.
113
00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,688
Is that William Shat...?
Nope.
114
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,762
Hey, you guys want to read
my fan fiction mash-up,
115
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:12,430
"Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"?
116
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,000
- Nope. - No.
- Certainly not.
117
00:05:16,069 --> 00:05:17,502
You don't even know
what it's about.
118
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:18,936
Is it about
a superhero
119
00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,705
who finds her voice
by doing stand-up?
120
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:23,808
That's so much better
than what I had.
121
00:05:24,944 --> 00:05:27,845
Mine is just a Jewish girl
that flies.
122
00:05:27,914 --> 00:05:30,715
I'd read that.
123
00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:33,117
Guys, guys,
Wil Wheaton
124
00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:35,320
hosts a secret
celebrity D&D game.
125
00:05:35,388 --> 00:05:36,688
How do you know?
Who was there?
126
00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:38,389
Why are you damp?
127
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,792
I was trying to peek
in Wil's window,
128
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:42,327
and he turned the sprinklers on.
129
00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:45,863
Oh, that means they
must be really famous.
130
00:05:45,932 --> 00:05:47,799
I'm almost positive
I heard William Shatner.
131
00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:50,068
I wonder who else is playing.
132
00:05:50,136 --> 00:05:53,838
I-I bet we can use graph theory
to determine who Wil knows
133
00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,207
and who is likely to play D&D.
Yes.
134
00:05:56,276 --> 00:06:01,179
Okay, obviously he's connected
to the whole Next Gen cast...
135
00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:04,382
So this is the rest
of our night, huh?
136
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,417
Oh, no,
137
00:06:06,486 --> 00:06:08,753
this is the rest of our lives.
138
00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:15,059
And Josh Brolin gets
you to every Avenger.
139
00:06:15,128 --> 00:06:17,195
Kevin Smith's
in this article
140
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:18,696
about celebrities who play D&D.
141
00:06:18,765 --> 00:06:20,231
Oh! A-And he was
on Wil's podcast,
142
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,899
so they know each other.
143
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:23,234
G-Go on his Instagram,
144
00:06:23,303 --> 00:06:24,463
see if you can find anything.
145
00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:26,337
Yeah, he-he posted something
an hour ago:
146
00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:27,872
"#GameNight."
147
00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:30,742
That looks like Wil's house.
148
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,243
William Shatner,
149
00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:34,445
Kevin Smith--
who else could be there?
150
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:36,881
Do you see what I see
over his shoulder?
151
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,584
Is that a ghost?
152
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,754
I think it's Stuart.
153
00:06:45,024 --> 00:06:48,459
That is Stuart.
What-What's he doing there?
154
00:06:48,528 --> 00:06:50,461
Maybe he died in Wil's house
155
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:53,131
and he can't leave
until he solves his own murder.
156
00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:58,403
Why would Wil invite
Stuart and not us?
157
00:06:58,471 --> 00:07:00,304
I know the answer.
Yeah.
158
00:07:00,373 --> 00:07:02,240
We all know the answer.
159
00:07:16,656 --> 00:07:17,922
Hey, guys.
160
00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:20,425
You're home late.
161
00:07:20,493 --> 00:07:22,727
Uh, yeah.
162
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:26,464
I had a crazy night.
I went to the pharmacy.
163
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,600
I like to be there when
the new decongestants drop.
164
00:07:29,669 --> 00:07:31,769
Cut the crap.
We know where you were.
165
00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:33,171
We know what
you were doing.
166
00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:37,341
Yeah, I just told you. I was
at CVS breathing my ass off.
167
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:38,654
Oh, you were breathing,
all right.
168
00:07:38,678 --> 00:07:40,678
You were breathing the
rarefied air of celebrities.
169
00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:41,991
I don't know what
you're talking about.
170
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,181
Then why are
you trembling?
171
00:07:43,249 --> 00:07:45,016
I'm always trembling.
172
00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:46,851
We know you were
at Wil's D&D game.
173
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:47,985
We saw you on Instagram.
174
00:07:48,054 --> 00:07:49,632
We just want to know
how you got invited.
175
00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:53,825
I can't talk about it or they
won't invite me back next week.
176
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,526
So there's another
game next week.
177
00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,595
I didn't mean to say that.
178
00:07:57,664 --> 00:07:59,464
Who's in it?
I can't tell you!
179
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:01,966
How do we get invited?
I don't know!
180
00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:04,469
How many hit dice are they
playing the wereboar as having?
181
00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:08,105
12d8 + 24--
I mean, I don't know!
182
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,813
Hey, Stuart.
183
00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,962
I don't want to play anymore.
It's too much pressure.
184
00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:21,886
Why, what happened?
I've-I've said too much.
185
00:08:21,955 --> 00:08:23,621
You haven't said anything.
186
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,791
Not to you, to them.
Who's them?
187
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,560
Ah! Now I have said too much!
188
00:08:32,565 --> 00:08:34,632
But y-you blocked
your number, right?
189
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,833
Relax,
190
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:39,303
this is not my first
creepy phone call.
191
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,907
It's like riding a bike...
slowly past a girl's house.
192
00:08:44,577 --> 00:08:45,710
Hello.
193
00:08:45,778 --> 00:08:46,911
Wil,
194
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:48,546
Bill Shatner here.
195
00:08:50,383 --> 00:08:53,251
Is this Howard?
196
00:08:53,319 --> 00:08:56,821
Of course not. It-It's Shatner.
197
00:08:56,890 --> 00:09:00,491
If you don't believe me, ask my
good friend, Christopher Walken.
198
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,261
Hello, Bill and I are just
199
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,731
hanging out...
200
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,766
at The Polo Lounge.
201
00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:12,403
Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken,
here are your martinis.
202
00:09:12,472 --> 00:09:13,749
What are you doing?
203
00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:15,451
I'm filling out the world.
You're ruining it.
204
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,041
No, he's not.
205
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,877
Thanks, Wil.
206
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:29,098
Sheldon, why are you walking
everywhere? Just get a horse.
207
00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:32,256
I had a horse.
It got hit by a train.
208
00:09:32,325 --> 00:09:33,591
Get another one.
209
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,092
I can't just replace Chauncey.
210
00:09:35,161 --> 00:09:37,194
I'm still in the
grieving process.
211
00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:41,299
Hey.
212
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,768
Hey, Leonard, I have an opening
in my D&D game next week,
213
00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,948
and I was wondering if you
were interested in playing.
214
00:09:45,972 --> 00:09:47,471
Well, yes, thank you.
215
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,073
Okay, great.
216
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,375
Now, here's the thing,
you can't tell anyone.
217
00:09:51,444 --> 00:09:53,144
I'm serious,
not Howard, not Raj,
218
00:09:53,212 --> 00:09:54,812
and certainly not Sheldon.
219
00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:56,247
Okay.
220
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:57,660
I'm really sorry
to put you in a position
221
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,616
where you have to lie
to your friends...
222
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,585
See you there!
223
00:10:02,055 --> 00:10:04,622
You come face to face
with a massive monster
224
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,223
with a gaping maw
225
00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:11,162
full of teeth, three huge legs,
and flailing tentacles.
226
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,431
What do you do?
227
00:10:13,499 --> 00:10:16,667
Fellas, it looks like
we're facing a, an otyugh.
228
00:10:18,304 --> 00:10:20,404
Here's the plan...
229
00:10:20,473 --> 00:10:22,573
Hold on there, Bill.
230
00:10:22,642 --> 00:10:24,108
Now what, Kareem?
231
00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:29,146
How do we know
it's not a Neo-otyugh?
232
00:10:29,215 --> 00:10:30,648
Same way I know
the difference
233
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,350
between an owlbear
and a bugbear.
234
00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,318
Does that answer
your question?
235
00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:36,687
No.
236
00:10:40,393 --> 00:10:41,859
Look, there's one way
to settle this:
237
00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:43,461
we chop it up
and look at the pieces.
238
00:10:43,529 --> 00:10:46,364
Oh, come on, why do you always
got to attack everything?
239
00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:47,743
Why can't we just try
talking to it?
240
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:51,869
Big surprise, Podcast
here wants to talk.
241
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,971
What do you think, Leonard?
242
00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:01,779
I think this is the greatest day
of my entire life.
243
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:05,316
It's all right, buddy,
one day you'll meet a girl.
244
00:11:11,572 --> 00:11:13,004
Hey, how was your lecture?
245
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,083
Oh, it was so good.
246
00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:17,351
I-I-I mean, it-it started great,
247
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,820
and then the, the middle
was great,
248
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,500
and then the ending was like...
249
00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:22,524
So great.
250
00:11:25,161 --> 00:11:29,697
Leonard, if you went to House
of Pies again, just say it.
251
00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,209
Wait, if you think I'm lying,
252
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,513
why do you think
I'm eating pies?
253
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,202
Why don't you think I'm...
having an affair?
254
00:11:35,271 --> 00:11:38,639
Listen, i-it's fine, just
next time, bring me a slice.
255
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:42,209
Okay, well, if you
really want to know,
256
00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:43,777
I'll tell you where I was.
257
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:46,547
I was at Wil's D&D game,
but that's all I can say.
258
00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:49,216
Oh, fun.
Were there famous people there?
259
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:53,187
Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't
tell you that.
260
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,155
Okay, well, yes,
261
00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:59,059
but I-I-I-I can't
tell you who.
262
00:11:59,128 --> 00:12:01,061
Well, no, I-I can
tell you Shatner,
263
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:03,297
but that's only because
you already knew that one.
264
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,898
Well, I'm glad you had fun.
265
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,500
Yeah.
266
00:12:06,569 --> 00:12:08,836
Ugh, I wish I could tell you
who else was there.
267
00:12:08,904 --> 00:12:10,904
I can't, I promised.
268
00:12:10,973 --> 00:12:13,507
Yeah, if it makes you feel
better, I couldn't care less.
269
00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:15,843
That's true,
270
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,145
you don't care, so there's
no harm in telling you.
271
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:19,913
Okay, you really
don't have to.
272
00:12:19,982 --> 00:12:22,516
All right,
I'll tell you. Uh...
273
00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:24,318
Kevin Smith was there,
274
00:12:24,386 --> 00:12:28,021
and-and, uh, this really
tall guy named Kareem.
275
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,991
Wait-wait,
K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
276
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,194
I don't know, it was, uh,
Kareem something Jabbar.
277
00:12:36,432 --> 00:12:37,931
How do you know him?
278
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,566
How do you not know him?
279
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,169
Well, I know him now
'cause he was there.
280
00:12:42,238 --> 00:12:43,170
Wow.
281
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:46,073
That is so cool.
282
00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:47,741
Oh, a-and that, uh,
the guy that played
283
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,176
the werewolf on-on True Blood,
284
00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:52,012
he was there.
Wh-- Joe Manganiello?
285
00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:56,583
Uh, yeah.
From Magic Mike?
286
00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,286
What's that?
287
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:01,421
Okay, okay,
288
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,926
did he look... like this?
289
00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:08,729
He had his clothes on,
but, yeah.
290
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,765
I can't believe you
met Joe Manganiello.
291
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,066
Is he nice?
Oh, he's so nice.
292
00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:16,103
I-I-I rolled my dice
underneath the couch,
293
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:19,473
and he just lifted
it up, one hand.
294
00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,409
Oh, I-I bet he did.
295
00:13:24,947 --> 00:13:27,114
Hi. Okay, can you guys
keep a secret?
296
00:13:27,183 --> 00:13:28,315
Yeah.
Sure.
297
00:13:28,384 --> 00:13:30,751
Good, 'cause I can't.
298
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,920
Leonard played
Dungeons & Dragons
299
00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:34,421
with the hot guy
from Magic Mike.
300
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:38,058
I never got to see that movie.
Seriously?
301
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:39,560
Yeah, Howie made us leave
302
00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,595
as soon as he realized
it wasn't about magic.
303
00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:46,266
Well, I have seen that movie
one or seven times,
304
00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:48,268
and trust me, it is magic.
305
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,439
- Which guy?
- That one.
306
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:54,975
Abracadabra.
307
00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:59,746
Hey, you know what was fun?
308
00:13:59,815 --> 00:14:02,616
That time we played
Dungeons & Dragons.
309
00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:06,687
That was fun.
We should play that more.
310
00:14:08,824 --> 00:14:10,958
Sorry, what now?
311
00:14:16,699 --> 00:14:18,265
Hey, what are you guys
doing here?
312
00:14:18,334 --> 00:14:20,767
Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon
might have left something.
313
00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,970
Oh, you mean, besides his lunch?
314
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:28,842
You are so funny, Wil.
315
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,145
We were just talking
about how funny you are.
316
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,881
Yeah, Leonard told you,
didn't he?
317
00:14:33,949 --> 00:14:35,382
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yup. - Yeah.
318
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:37,050
It's Manganiello?
319
00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:38,685
- Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
320
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:39,987
Feel good about yourselves?
321
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,989
- Nope. - No.
- Yeah.
322
00:14:44,393 --> 00:14:46,960
Oh, we're going
with no? No.
323
00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:51,965
Hey, guys.
324
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,800
What are you
smiling about?
325
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:56,036
What? This is my regular face.
326
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:58,005
No, it's not.
327
00:14:58,073 --> 00:15:00,908
Y-Your regular face
is more like this...
328
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:07,748
No, no, i-it's-it's more
in the eyebrows, like this...
329
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,387
Okay, make your jokes.
330
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,821
I'm still in a great mood.
331
00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:20,027
Hey.
332
00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:21,428
Wait, what?
333
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:25,365
Why?
334
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:28,101
Oh, come on, but...
335
00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:32,940
O-Okay, fine.
336
00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:35,909
Huh, Raj was right,
it is more in the eyebrows.
337
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,512
What was that all about?
338
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,380
Wil kicked me out
of his D&D game.
339
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,884
You were
in Wil's D&D game?
340
00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:45,786
With William Shatner?
And you didn't tell us?
341
00:15:45,854 --> 00:15:48,588
I'm sorry,
Wil made me promise not to.
342
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,223
I thought
we were friends.
343
00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,559
Oh, come on, you guys
would do the same thing.
344
00:15:52,628 --> 00:15:54,227
No, we wouldn't!
I told you when I was
345
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,862
in spin class with
Scarlett Johansson.
346
00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,898
It didn't even turn out
to be Scarlett Johansson.
347
00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:00,734
Well, that's her
fault, not mine!
348
00:16:00,803 --> 00:16:02,235
It doesn't matter
349
00:16:02,304 --> 00:16:05,138
because Penny blabbed about it
and now I'm out.
350
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,209
So there's an open seat.
351
00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,112
Wil!
Wil Wheaton!
352
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,114
Open! Open!
353
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,884
No. No. No.
354
00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:19,252
Hell no.
355
00:16:19,321 --> 00:16:22,889
Look, we know Leonard is out.
You need to fill a seat.
356
00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:25,292
It should be one of us.
357
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:26,727
Or give me another chance.
358
00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:29,396
I think me and Joe Manganiello
were really hitting it off.
359
00:16:29,465 --> 00:16:32,432
Joe Manganiello was there?
From Magic Mike?
360
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:35,168
You guys suck.
361
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,170
Agreed. You guys suck.
Let's go, Wil.
362
00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,772
No.
363
00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:41,508
All of you.
364
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,410
You're just
trying to use me
365
00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:45,245
to get close
to my famous friends.
366
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:46,913
Do you know how
that makes me feel?
367
00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:49,149
Flattered?
368
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,151
Used.
369
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:54,454
I was gonna
guess that.
370
00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,490
One of the worst things
about being a celebrity
371
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,860
is you never know if people
like you for you.
372
00:16:59,928 --> 00:17:03,330
Well, thanks
for letting me know.
373
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,501
You're right, that was
really crappy of us.
374
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:11,338
Yeah, I guess we just got
caught up in the excitement.
375
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:14,274
We're sorry, Wil.
We do like you for you.
376
00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,776
And if it makes
you feel
377
00:17:15,844 --> 00:17:18,084
any better, I don't even really
consider you a celebrity.
378
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,186
Should we go or do you want
to wait for the sprinklers?
379
00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:33,938
Guys, I-I still feel
a little bad about Wil.
380
00:17:34,006 --> 00:17:35,206
Me, too.
381
00:17:35,274 --> 00:17:38,642
Yeah. We should invite him
to come play with us.
382
00:17:38,711 --> 00:17:40,845
Ask him to bring
some chips
383
00:17:40,913 --> 00:17:42,446
because we're all out.
384
00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,448
Hey, Wil, this is Leonard.
385
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:45,683
Make it Bugles.
386
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:47,251
No, no, no, no, no,
pretzel sticks.
387
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,752
No, no, no, Bugles.
388
00:17:49,889 --> 00:17:51,689
We're gonna play some D&D
389
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:53,068
and thought you might
want to join us.
390
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,303
Thank you, Leonard, but actually
391
00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,960
I can't do it tonight.
392
00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:57,962
Uh, how about another time?
393
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,798
Okay, great. Thanks. Bye.
394
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,800
Okay, where were we?
395
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:10,274
I was about to go all
Wrath of Khan on the ogres.
396
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:11,809
Oh, man, that's it.
397
00:18:11,878 --> 00:18:14,678
Put another dollar
in the Star Trek jar, Bill.
398
00:18:14,747 --> 00:18:17,214
Worth it.
399
00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:22,786
Speaking of putting
dollars in things...
400
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:28,292
I loved you
in Magic Mike.
401
00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:30,361
Thanks.
402
00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:31,962
Switch places with me.
403
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:37,568
Are we playing musical chairs
or Dungeons & Dragons?
404
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:41,071
Yeah, let's teach that ogre
what my broadsword tastes like.
405
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:44,408
I like your moxie.
406
00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:47,311
Aw, and I like
your grandpa words.
407
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:56,720
My dad and I watched you win
back-to-back championships.
408
00:18:56,789 --> 00:19:00,925
And I watched you sniff Joe's
hair when he wasn't looking.
409
00:19:04,997 --> 00:19:07,331
Thank you again for inviting us,
and don't worry,
410
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,866
we won't tell the guys.
411
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:11,368
You know what, why don't
you tell the guys?
412
00:19:11,437 --> 00:19:13,203
In fact, let's all
take a picture
413
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,772
and send it to
them right now.
414
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,179
That's weird.
415
00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:29,219
We deserve that.
416
00:19:32,157 --> 00:19:39,157
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
30303
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.