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1
00:00:03,455 --> 00:00:05,555
Why aren't you dressed?
2
00:00:05,623 --> 00:00:07,290
Well, brunch isn't till 10:00.
3
00:00:07,392 --> 00:00:11,561
Right, but then we go early, we get
a table close to the buffet, right?
4
00:00:11,629 --> 00:00:13,396
'Cause you can't sit right at it.
5
00:00:13,465 --> 00:00:15,565
We learned that at Sizzler.
6
00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:17,967
Just call Kristin and ask
her to save us a table.
7
00:00:18,069 --> 00:00:19,502
I mean, we have some pull.
8
00:00:19,571 --> 00:00:21,804
She created the whole
thing. We created her...
9
00:00:21,873 --> 00:00:22,972
Nah.
10
00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:26,042
Nah, then she's got bigger
fish to fry... literally.
11
00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:28,644
This seafood buffet she created is amazing.
12
00:00:28,747 --> 00:00:32,215
It's like the ocean just
puked all over a table.
13
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,983
I know why you want to go early.
14
00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:35,685
- The brunch is her baby...
- No.
15
00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:36,886
...she's your baby.
16
00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:38,354
You want to make sure everything goes okay.
17
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,390
What are you talking?
She's got this all covered.
18
00:00:40,492 --> 00:00:41,457
She's doing a great job.
19
00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:43,166
She was at work last night till 1:00 A.M.
20
00:00:43,261 --> 00:00:44,594
Yeah, and how do you know that?
21
00:00:44,729 --> 00:00:47,663
I was just there, you know, making
sure the lobsters don't claw her.
22
00:00:47,732 --> 00:00:48,898
I don't trust those rubber bands.
23
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,233
- Honey...
- They're very, very small.
24
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,835
It is okay to admit that you
want to protect your daughter.
25
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:54,604
- It's sweet.
- I'm not protecting her.
26
00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:56,672
I just want to make sure
the brunch goes okay.
27
00:00:56,775 --> 00:00:59,776
Yeah, that's called protecting.
28
00:00:59,844 --> 00:01:02,145
(Raspy) Oh. Hey, you guys.
29
00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:05,248
Um... I've got this thing.
30
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,383
It's a... sore-throat thing.
31
00:01:07,485 --> 00:01:08,184
Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:08,253 --> 00:01:11,754
So, uh, yeah...
33
00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:14,357
I'm not gonna be able
to go to church today.
34
00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:16,659
We're not going to church.
35
00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:19,362
Today is Kristin's first brunch.
36
00:01:19,431 --> 00:01:21,330
(Clears throat)
37
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,301
Oh, wait. Oh, my God!
38
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:26,903
(Gasps) Hold on.
39
00:01:26,971 --> 00:01:28,237
(Chuckles) I'm all better!
40
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:29,539
I'm healed! Yes!
41
00:01:29,641 --> 00:01:32,275
Wow, that's a miracle. (Chuckles)
42
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,476
Praise the Lord.
43
00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:34,877
You know, maybe you can
go to church next Sunday,
44
00:01:34,979 --> 00:01:36,300
and you can thank him personally.
45
00:01:36,314 --> 00:01:38,381
(Laughs) Okay. I'm gonna go get dressed.
46
00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:40,249
I have the perfect brunch outfit.
47
00:01:40,285 --> 00:01:43,820
It says I'm here to pick up my food,
look fabulous, and judge others.
48
00:01:43,888 --> 00:01:44,821
Mandy, hey.
49
00:01:44,923 --> 00:01:46,088
You can't be late for this, okay?
50
00:01:46,191 --> 00:01:49,358
I know you'd like to make an entrance,
but today's your sister's big day.
51
00:01:49,461 --> 00:01:50,393
Let her shine.
52
00:01:50,462 --> 00:01:53,663
Okay, fine, but who just got over a
really brave battle with illness?
53
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,900
Why do her fake illnesses
give me a real headache?
54
00:01:58,002 --> 00:01:59,836
I'm gonna get ready. I'll meet you there.
55
00:01:59,938 --> 00:02:01,270
All right. Doll yourself up.
56
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:04,740
You're competing with
scallops wrapped in bacon.
57
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:09,011
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,133
About time, Mikey.
59
00:02:31,236 --> 00:02:34,270
Yeah, I'm the worst.
60
00:02:34,372 --> 00:02:36,939
Coming in an hour early on my day off.
61
00:02:37,041 --> 00:02:38,274
Thanks for being here.
62
00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:39,308
Hey, no problem.
63
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:40,910
If I was home, I'd be watching TV.
64
00:02:41,012 --> 00:02:44,180
Here, I'm watching like
eight TVs, and I get overtime.
65
00:02:44,282 --> 00:02:48,516
You know, this whole concept of
brunch doesn't make any sense to me.
66
00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:49,215
Well...
67
00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:52,989
I mean, you get breakfast and lunch
and you charge 'em once.
68
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:55,791
Who's the genius that
came up with that idea?
69
00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:59,395
I think it was Einstein's brother Melvin.
70
00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:01,264
Very creative family.
71
00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:03,065
You got to relax here.
72
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:07,270
Kris did a lot of research before
she pitched this buffet idea to us.
73
00:03:07,372 --> 00:03:09,338
Our customers are gonna love this.
74
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,107
Yeah? Yeah, maybe too much.
75
00:03:11,209 --> 00:03:13,676
If you haven't noticed, they
tend to be on the large side.
76
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:14,877
Well, you know...
77
00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:17,613
They take "all you can eat" as a challenge.
78
00:03:17,715 --> 00:03:21,350
Go in your office, do something
to take your mind off it.
79
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,972
When was the last time you checked
your ex-wife's Facebook page?
80
00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:27,657
Yesterday.
81
00:03:27,759 --> 00:03:29,759
Yeah, don't worry about this.
82
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:32,261
Kris has got this all taken care of.
83
00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:35,064
Mikey, please, I'm counting on
you to keep an eye on things.
84
00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:38,501
If this is a disaster,
we're done with brunch.
85
00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:40,171
I don't need to keep an eye on anything.
86
00:03:40,271 --> 00:03:41,571
Ha! Yeah.
87
00:03:41,673 --> 00:03:43,072
Show me the restaurant.
88
00:03:43,174 --> 00:03:44,173
On it.
89
00:03:44,275 --> 00:03:46,742
Uh, the buffet's all iced and ready to go.
90
00:03:46,844 --> 00:03:47,777
Uh-huh.
91
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,579
There's us looking at the monitors.
92
00:03:49,681 --> 00:03:52,348
That's useless.
93
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:55,651
I can't... What's Kyle
doing on the loading dock?
94
00:03:55,753 --> 00:03:57,053
Enhance that for me.
95
00:03:57,155 --> 00:04:00,289
"Enhance"?
96
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:02,625
This isn't "CSI" Baxter.
97
00:04:02,727 --> 00:04:04,627
I can make it bigger.
98
00:04:04,729 --> 00:04:08,464
Looks like he's opening a bag of cat food.
99
00:04:08,566 --> 00:04:09,732
Oh, good.
100
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,868
He's feeding stray cats 100
feet from a seafood buffet.
101
00:04:12,971 --> 00:04:15,304
What goes on in that
kid's head? I don't know.
102
00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:17,126
If you got close enough,
you'd probably hear
103
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:19,375
a wind-up monkey playing the cymbals.
104
00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:34,290
Hey, Kyle! Kyle! What
the hell are you doing?
105
00:04:34,392 --> 00:04:37,560
You said you didn't want stray
cats eating out of the Dumpster.
106
00:04:37,662 --> 00:04:38,694
Problem solved.
107
00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:43,199
Now you're luring feral
cats to a seafood buffet.
108
00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:45,635
Oh, no. They're not feral anymore.
109
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:47,336
I named them.
110
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:49,472
Well, of course you did.
111
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,406
Tell you what...
112
00:04:50,508 --> 00:04:53,653
Get rid of the food and the bowl,
close the loading dock door.
113
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:54,306
Yes, sir.
114
00:04:54,345 --> 00:04:55,311
And you know what?
115
00:04:55,413 --> 00:04:57,847
Think of taking a day off now and then.
116
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,148
You're killing me.
117
00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:01,984
Isabella: Kyle, get
your lazy ass over here!
118
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,587
Hang on, Isabella.
119
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,022
(Cat meows)
120
00:05:11,095 --> 00:05:11,994
Hi, Mom!
121
00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:13,129
Hey!
122
00:05:13,231 --> 00:05:14,196
(Laughing) Hi!
123
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:15,164
Wow!
124
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:18,000
Wow, Kristin, this is incredible.
125
00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:19,802
I know. Isn't it?
126
00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:22,672
We have smoked Pacific Coho sal...
127
00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:24,974
Ah, ah! Don't touch it...
128
00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:27,743
Alaskan king crab. Don't touch.
129
00:05:27,845 --> 00:05:30,780
And, my personal favorite,
local rainbow tr...
130
00:05:30,882 --> 00:05:32,782
Don't!
131
00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:34,583
But I'm hungry.
132
00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,952
Have some ice.
133
00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:38,154
(Laughs)
134
00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,690
Honey, I know how hard
you've been working on this.
135
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,658
I mean, you did an amazing job.
136
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,061
Yeah, she's been practically living here.
137
00:05:45,163 --> 00:05:47,329
Uh, by the way, I'm Ryan, your husband.
138
00:05:47,398 --> 00:05:50,466
And that little guy you were
just talking to is your son.
139
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:51,467
Ha, ha.
140
00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:53,469
Can we talk about this at home?
141
00:05:53,571 --> 00:05:57,139
Sure, but first, let's have the most
important brunch in the entire world.
142
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,508
Hey, come on. You guys
don't bicker like this.
143
00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:01,744
Something is fishy.
144
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:08,184
Ryan is upset because he thinks I've
been spending too much time at work.
145
00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,585
You slept here last night.
146
00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,387
I didn't get the room finished until 2:00,
147
00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:13,556
and the food truck's coming at 6:00, okay?
148
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,191
It's not like I was at the spa.
149
00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:19,662
This morning I showered with the
sprayer we use to wash the vegetables.
150
00:06:19,764 --> 00:06:21,484
This brunch has been taking over your life.
151
00:06:21,499 --> 00:06:24,467
I mean, we moved into a new house, and
you haven't even met the neighbors.
152
00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:26,168
They think I'm a widower.
153
00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:28,571
We are up to our eyeballs in casseroles.
154
00:06:28,673 --> 00:06:35,211
Hey, guys, let's not ruin this
special day by being... crabby.
155
00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:37,460
All right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
156
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:40,149
Just, I see food and...
157
00:06:40,218 --> 00:06:41,350
(Laughs)
158
00:06:41,419 --> 00:06:43,419
Ha! I made a joke!
159
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:44,386
Oh!
160
00:06:44,489 --> 00:06:46,322
I've gone too far now.
161
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:48,691
Hey, your family's here.
162
00:06:48,793 --> 00:06:49,759
Great.
163
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:54,196
And that shy busboy finally had the
guts to ask out that cute waitress.
164
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:56,332
What?
165
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,902
You watch 'em all day,
you can't help but care.
166
00:06:59,971 --> 00:07:01,470
Just keep an eye on Kyle, will ya?
167
00:07:01,539 --> 00:07:03,672
Make sure he doesn't do
something else really stupid.
168
00:07:03,775 --> 00:07:05,508
Uh, Baxter...
169
00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:07,643
That didn't take long.
170
00:07:07,745 --> 00:07:09,411
He left the door open.
171
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,579
Oh, great.
172
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,982
Now I have a warehouse full
of cats, and I hate cats.
173
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,117
Dogs are right.
174
00:07:15,219 --> 00:07:16,919
Well, don't worry about the cats.
175
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:21,624
They probably ran away
when they saw this guy.
176
00:07:21,726 --> 00:07:22,725
Is that a bear?
177
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:23,626
Yeah.
178
00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:26,595
You want me to enhance it?
179
00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:31,100
Music
180
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:34,284
Mike: I got to get my
family out of the grill.
181
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,752
And I'll call Parks and Wildlife,
182
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:37,854
and let them know we have
a bear in the warehouse.
183
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:38,989
A bear?
184
00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:41,358
Oh, shoot! I forgot to close that door!
185
00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:45,228
Well, the good news is I'm not mad
at you about the cats anymore.
186
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:47,864
I want you to go down to the kitchen,
get all the staff up here quietly.
187
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:48,999
You don't want to panic them.
188
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,267
I don't want anybody panicked!
189
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,935
Let's go, let's go, let's
go, let's go, let's go!
190
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,237
I heard yelling.
191
00:07:55,774 --> 00:07:57,540
Is there trouble with the brunch?
192
00:07:57,642 --> 00:07:59,843
No! No! No!
193
00:07:59,945 --> 00:08:02,278
Uh, Chuck was asking for a raise.
194
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:05,482
Shut that down, Mikey.
195
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,550
That's right. Hey.
196
00:08:08,553 --> 00:08:10,620
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
197
00:08:11,675 --> 00:08:13,195
How are things going at the new house?
198
00:08:13,225 --> 00:08:14,190
Uh, pretty good.
199
00:08:14,259 --> 00:08:16,226
Boyd has been helping
me with the decorating.
200
00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,061
You know what
10-year-old boys suck at?
201
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,230
- Decorating.
- Decorating.
202
00:08:20,298 --> 00:08:23,600
Yeah, he did the living room
in early American "Star Wars."
203
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:25,301
Well, I'm sorry, Kristin.
204
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,270
When you move back in, we will change it.
205
00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:31,374
Can you believe him?
206
00:08:31,476 --> 00:08:32,509
Kind of.
207
00:08:32,577 --> 00:08:34,644
I mean, I understand
where he's coming from.
208
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:35,678
That's right.
209
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:38,615
I should only complain about Ryan to Dad.
210
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,851
You know, honey, whenever your father
gets involved in a new project,
211
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:45,822
he also goes a little overboard
in his attention to detail.
212
00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:47,290
Isn't that a good thing?
213
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:51,161
Yes, unless you're one of the details
he's not paying attention to.
214
00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,464
I'm just saying maybe cut Ryan some slack.
215
00:08:55,238 --> 00:08:57,439
Hey, Boyd, listen, I hid a
dollar bill up in the office.
216
00:08:57,469 --> 00:08:59,070
Why don't you go see if you can find it.
217
00:08:59,171 --> 00:08:59,836
Cool!
218
00:08:59,905 --> 00:09:01,304
You too, honey.
219
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,040
Why?
220
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,708
What? You don't need a dollar?
221
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,710
What are you talking about?
222
00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:08,979
What's with all the questions?
223
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:09,901
Let's just go upstairs.
224
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:11,147
Everybody, let's just go upstairs.
225
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:13,716
Dad, I still have a ton
of work to do down here.
226
00:09:13,785 --> 00:09:14,651
Do it later.
227
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:16,186
I need to be here now.
228
00:09:16,254 --> 00:09:18,088
You are never gonna get her to leave, Mike.
229
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:18,955
Don't even try it.
230
00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:20,690
Listen, excuse me.
231
00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:24,994
Everybody upstairs. Now! Now!
232
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,062
Come on, let's go.
233
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:28,131
Let's go upstairs for a minute. Come on.
234
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,365
Is there something wrong?
235
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:31,034
Not if you enjoyed "The Revenant."
236
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:38,108
So, you just play in here, Boyd.
237
00:09:38,176 --> 00:09:41,277
And, uh... And if you hear
scratching at the door...
238
00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:42,812
I-it's just Grandma.
239
00:09:42,948 --> 00:09:44,247
So, uh...
240
00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:47,484
But don't... don't open the
door for Grandma, no matter what!
241
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,719
A-And if Grandma does get in the door,
242
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:52,122
then, uh... then just remember to, uh,
243
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:55,658
to stand real tall and cover your neck.
244
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,829
What the hell is a bear doing in the store?
245
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:00,930
He's ruining my brunch.
246
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:02,479
I used to think that bears were cute,
247
00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:06,069
but, you know what, as of
today, bears can kiss my ass.
248
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,438
Brunch is gonna be fine.
We got this under control.
249
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:12,509
Parks and Wildlife says they can't
get here for another 20 minutes.
250
00:10:12,577 --> 00:10:14,777
There's a bear at a gas station too.
251
00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:17,380
Are there any bears in the woods?
252
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:19,949
All right, everybody.
We're all good up here.
253
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:22,051
Everybody's fine right where we are.
254
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,219
Not Kyle.
255
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:26,890
He's in the warehouse,
and he's got a rifle.
256
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:29,726
Wait, wait. He cannot kill the bear.
257
00:10:29,828 --> 00:10:31,628
Well, not with that gun.
It's a tranquilizing-dart gun.
258
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,329
Also, he'll... he'll just
put the bear to sleep.
259
00:10:33,398 --> 00:10:34,864
- That's perfect, right?
- (Chuckles) Yeah.
260
00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:38,801
If we were legally allowed to sell the
tranquilizer that goes in the darts.
261
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:43,940
So, he's about to corner a wild bear
and shoot it with an empty dart?
262
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:48,244
This is quickly becoming one of those
stories that bears tell other bears.
263
00:10:58,156 --> 00:10:59,522
Kyle? Kyle?
264
00:10:59,624 --> 00:11:01,124
Kyle!
265
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,394
Hey, hey! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
266
00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:10,033
Listen, I-I know I ask you this a
lot, but what the hell are you doing?
267
00:11:10,135 --> 00:11:12,435
I'm the reason he's in here, Mr. B.
268
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:14,938
Don't worry, we're giving
you credit for that.
269
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,640
You know, there's not
tranquilizer in those darts.
270
00:11:17,742 --> 00:11:20,944
Really? So what the hell am I doing?
271
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:22,011
I don't know.
272
00:11:22,113 --> 00:11:24,447
We're gonna go back upstairs, all right?
273
00:11:24,549 --> 00:11:27,083
(Growls)
274
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:29,185
Not that way, though.
275
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:31,588
Am I not moving?
276
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,856
Kyle, we're gonna be
fine, we're gonna be fine.
277
00:11:35,439 --> 00:11:37,199
Don't make a lot of
noise and just back away.
278
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,695
Back away, back away.
279
00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:39,896
Okay, Mr. B.
280
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:43,399
Hey, I wonder if it's true
that bears can smell fear.
281
00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:44,767
(Roars)
282
00:11:44,869 --> 00:11:47,036
That would be your answer!
283
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,750
You know, last time I did this,
284
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,186
there were Jehovah's Witnesses
coming down the block.
285
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,021
You're really funny, Mr. B.
286
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,857
It's gonna be an honor
to die with you today.
287
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,764
If we do go to heaven, let me handle
closing the pearly gates, okay?
288
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,000
Hey, Chuck, I need the ETA
on Parks and Wildlife, over.
289
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,102
High tight, Baxter. They're on their way.
290
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,704
Chuck, shouldn't you do something?
291
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,840
I mean, you are head of
security for the store.
292
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:26,010
Yes. And I'll go down there as soon
as the bear starts shoplifting.
293
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,780
Look, you know, Mike and Kyle will be fine.
294
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,016
When the bear smells the food, he'll
head straight for the buffet.
295
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,520
Well, I guess that's the
end of brunch at Outdoor Man.
296
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,856
Oh. I'll talk to her.
297
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:41,559
No, you know what? I will go talk to her.
298
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,863
Well, this sucks.
299
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,265
I know how much work
you put into this thing.
300
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,200
I was scared.
301
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,768
What?
302
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,437
That's why I was working so much.
303
00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:54,772
This was the first big
thing I've done on my own.
304
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,975
No, it's not. What about the grill?
305
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,077
Dad and Ed helped me with that.
306
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,311
This was all me.
307
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:03,147
And I just wanted to
prove that I could do it...
308
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,384
not even to them, to myself.
309
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,486
I didn't know.
310
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,956
But after spending four days looking
for the perfect shrimp fork,
311
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:16,327
turns out I forgot the first
rule of brunches... no bears!
312
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:21,566
I'm sorry I put you and Boyd through that.
313
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,334
All for nothing.
314
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:34,612
I feel so bad for her. I
wish I could do something.
315
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,149
I think I can.
316
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,956
Hello?
317
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,228
Anybody here?
318
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:55,033
Olly olly oxen free!
319
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,570
Whatever that means!
320
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,639
Nobody here for Kristin's big day.
321
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,508
Classic!
322
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,810
(Laughs)
323
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,523
This is so dumb. I am so dumb.
324
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:26,965
Okay, here we...
325
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,566
- Hey!
- Aah!
326
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,935
What are you doing? You have to run.
327
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,037
(Laughs) I'm in brunch heels.
328
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,639
I'm not running anywhere.
329
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:35,940
What are you doing?
330
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,409
Okay, there is a bear in the
store, and everyone's upstairs.
331
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,944
You need to get up there right now, okay?
332
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,279
What?
333
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,282
If there's a bear in the store,
why are you holding a salmon?
334
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,051
'Cause I am trying not to have
Kristin's brunch get ruined,
335
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,354
so I'm gonna lure it out
of the store with this.
336
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,990
Oh, no! A bear! Bears are so dangerous!
337
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,258
Don't let him eat my little face!
338
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,194
(High-pitched squealing)
339
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:57,862
Oh, please, I'm trying not
to think about that, okay?
340
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:58,930
Just run, okay?
341
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:03,267
Should of just gone to church. God.
342
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:06,404
Are you okay, Mike?
343
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,106
(Bear roars)
344
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:10,208
Yeah, we're great.
345
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,343
W-Will these boxes
protect us from the bear?
346
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,245
No, probably not, but it'll be something
347
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,080
to send our organs to the hospital in.
348
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,215
Ryan: Bear?
349
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,418
Where are you, peaceful woodland creature?
350
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,853
Want some brunch?
351
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,689
Hey, what's Ryan doing down here?
352
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:34,565
Oh, God! You are huge!
353
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,903
Ryan just ran past the
bear holding a salmon.
354
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:43,041
How did that kid's ancestors ever survive?
355
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,108
Come and get it, bear!
356
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,977
Delicious, wild-caught salmon
357
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:49,180
from our already overfished oceans!
358
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,449
He's trying to draw the bear away.
359
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,984
Did it work?
360
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,952
(Growls)
361
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:58,389
Please tell me that's a cat.
362
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,692
The bear ignored the salmon.
363
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,393
Why would that bear ignore a salmon?
364
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,661
What does he want in here?
365
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,729
He's after me.
366
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:05,730
Yeah?
367
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,199
It's my conditioner. It's honey lavender.
368
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:13,504
It doesn't make any sense,
unless he... is a she.
369
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,707
Whoa.
370
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,843
He had
...Oh.
371
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,479
(Whimpering)
372
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,214
(Chuckles)
373
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,583
Oh, he's adorable!
374
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,019
Yeah, well, we're not keeping him.
375
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,588
Listen, we found a bear cub in here.
376
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,390
Been nice knowing you, Baxter.
377
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,726
Oh, thank God.
378
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,794
Parks and Wildlife are here, Mike.
379
00:16:36,861 --> 00:16:39,102
No, no, no, no. You tell Parks
and Wildlife to calm down.
380
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,733
If they see that bear getting
aggressive, they may put it down.
381
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,115
They do not want that bear hurt.
382
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,702
Give me five minutes to
get this cub out of here.
383
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:45,703
You copy that?
384
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,972
Wait, there's really a bear in the store?
385
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,709
Will this be on national news,
because I'm only dressed for local.
386
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:52,944
I need to move these boxes.
387
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,045
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
388
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,346
Mr. B, are you sure that's a good idea?
389
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,582
'Cause I've come to really
appreciate that door.
390
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,005
The bear doesn't want to hurt us.
391
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,551
The bear just wants to protect her cub.
392
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,986
Help me move these out of the way.
393
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,328
All right, get behind the door.
394
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,188
Let's go. Come on.
395
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:05,189
Come here, come here.
396
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,791
It's all right, it's all right.
397
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,159
It's okay. It's all right.
398
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,361
It's all right, it's all right.
399
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,696
(Bear growling)
400
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,112
Come on, come on.
401
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:44,529
And that, Kyle, is...
why we don't feed cats.
402
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,968
Mama and baby bear are
headed back to the woods.
403
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,839
Yeah, with a salmon and an adventure
they will remember forever.
404
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,541
You know, bears like bread, too.
405
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,076
You always got to figure
out a way to cost me money,
406
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,278
but, uh, appreciate what you did.
407
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,412
Thank you.
408
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,281
We'll follow them to
make sure they get there
409
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,183
without incident, but
you folks are all clear.
410
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,185
- Thank you.
- Thanks for coming by.
411
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,387
I cannot believe you did that!
412
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,488
That was so...
413
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,856
Brave?
414
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:15,226
Uh, I was gonna say stupid,
but I guess it can be both.
415
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,162
I didn't want all your
hard work to go to waste.
416
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,298
But, yeah. That was really dumb.
417
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,532
Yeah.
418
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,868
Isn't he the sweetest?
419
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,571
I did something stupid, too.
420
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,706
You're damn straight, Baxter.
421
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,410
You dying on my watch is not
gonna help my Yelp reviews.
422
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:35,947
Why'd you take the risk
of opening that door?
423
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:39,550
I think maybe he knows what it feels
like to want to protect your cub.
424
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,885
Right, papa bear?
425
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:45,189
You know, in the book, the mama
bear doesn't talk so much.
426
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:50,628
I love it when you get embarrassed
because you have feelings.
427
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:55,032
Kyle, did you do anything stupidly brave?
428
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,302
No. I was smart.
429
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:02,373
You tried to shoot an angry
mama bear with a dart gun.
430
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,942
Hey, yeah! That was super dumb!
431
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,011
Yay! Kyle wins!
432
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,479
Hey, it's almost 10:00.
433
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,282
Aren't we all excited
about doing something?
434
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,784
My brunch! Get out of my way!
435
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:15,728
Come on, come on. You
want to get a good table.
436
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,856
What's the point? No more salmon.
437
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,158
So, you...
438
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,430
What's everybody doing up here?
439
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,300
Am I the only one who cares
about this damn brunch?
440
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,102
Come on, let's go.
441
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,041
It's kind of cute that everybody thinks
442
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,343
I don't know anything about the bear, huh?
443
00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:48,488
Hey, Mike Baxter for Outdoor Man.
444
00:19:48,590 --> 00:19:52,158
Over the years, I've found myself
facing some pretty scary situations...
445
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,893
Anacondas in the Amazon...
446
00:19:53,995 --> 00:19:55,661
ckk, ckk, ckk, ckk, ckk!...
447
00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:58,131
hungry lions on the Serengeti...
448
00:19:58,233 --> 00:19:59,532
"Down, boy ..."
449
00:19:59,634 --> 00:20:03,870
A woman's book club that ran
out of vodka in my own home.
450
00:20:03,972 --> 00:20:07,707
(Slurring) Eat, pray, refill!
451
00:20:07,809 --> 00:20:10,076
(Normal voice) But as any
outdoorsman will tell you,
452
00:20:10,178 --> 00:20:14,580
there's no place as dangerous as being
between a mama bear and her cub.
453
00:20:14,682 --> 00:20:19,018
It's like being between Hillary
and a Wall Street moneyman.
454
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,688
Of course, a mama bear only worries
about her offspring for 17 months,
455
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:25,258
then she kicks them in the
ass and chases them away.
456
00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:27,126
Humans... we don't stop worrying
457
00:20:27,228 --> 00:20:29,495
about our kids until
two weeks after we die.
458
00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:32,665
You'd think it would get easier
once they leave the nest,
459
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:35,201
but it actually gets
worse once they roam free.
460
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:36,802
All we do is fret.
461
00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:40,806
We can even tag their ears so
we can track their migrations.
462
00:20:40,909 --> 00:20:41,908
Or can we?
463
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,843
Trademark Outdoor Man.
464
00:20:43,945 --> 00:20:46,245
(Clicks tongue) "Dad!"
465
00:20:46,347 --> 00:20:50,816
Yeah, being a human parent means
signing an eternal contract to worry.
466
00:20:50,919 --> 00:20:54,187
And when you finally see the bright light
coming towards you at the very end,
467
00:20:54,289 --> 00:20:56,055
you know what your last thought's gonna be?
468
00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:58,591
(Imitates flatline)
469
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:01,727
I got to check the tire
pressure on Mandy's car!
470
00:21:01,777 --> 00:21:06,327
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