All language subtitles for Last Man Standing s05e08 The Big Sleepover.e

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Eve.

Hey, look. Cammy is still here.

Hey, Mr. Baxter. How was work?

Obviously not too bad if
you're getting home now,

unless you went to work at, like, midnight.

Then it'd be really bad
...or at least really long.

You didn't go to work at midnight, did you?

Yep, Cammy is still here.

Hey, honey. How was work?

Let's not get that started again.

This has been kind of long for a sleepover.

If this was the ramada inn,
she'd be getting bonus points.

She's only been here four days.

Yeah, but four days in a row.

Uh, look, Cammy, honey,
we're not trying to cut

your visit short or anything, but...

which would be impossible after four days.

Honey, w-when were you
thinking of going home?

Oh, um, Eve was supposed
to talk to you about this.

I sort of can't go home
because my parents are overseas.

What, they go on vacation
and just left you here?

They moved.

Moved?

Yeah, um, her parents are
in doctors without borders,

and they got called over to Turkey
because of all the refugees.

They're just gonna be gone until
things settle down in the middle east.

Oh, good, 'cause I thought
it would be a while.

I really wanted to finish
my senior year at Woodbridge,

so I was gonna stay with my great
aunt, but she broke her hip.

And you need your hip to
take care of a teenager?

But my parents said it'd
be fine if I stayed here.

Very generous of your parents.

But have you ever been to Turkey?

I mean, you might like it.
They have bazaars there.

You'd fit right in in a bazaar.

Dad.

No, no.
I-I-I'm sorry.

I should go. I'm a horrible burden.

I could just stay in the
abandoned bus behind my church.

The guy who pretends to
drive it makes everyone beans.

All right, wait, wait, wait.
Take it easy. Take it easy, Cammy.

Look, no one is saying
that you can't stay here,

at least until we figure something out.

So, let me make you some tea,

and Eve and her dad will
have a loud discussion.

Eve, a-are you kidding me?

She's my best friend, Dad.

I don't see what the big deal is.

The big deal is you didn't ask us.

What if she's allergic to your bird?

I don't have a bird. That's right.

'Cause you asked us for
a bird, but we said no.

So, what makes you think
we'd let you have a person?

Well, are you just gonna kick her out?

Can't... we're christians.

And your mom insists on acting like one.

Well, believe or not,
she's not always talking.

(Scales play off-key)

Oh, yeah.

'Cause when she's not talking,
she's playing the oboe.

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com

I just got off the phone
with Cammy's parents.

Did you tell them to go to hell for me?

You know, it's hard to be mad at
people who are doing such heroic work.

I'm finding it very easy.

You know what heroic work is...

it's taking care of
your own children first.

You know, they feel terrible
about the way things turned out.

They said they'd send a ticket for
Cammy to join them in Turkey.

That's not what we're gonna do.

It's tense enough in that part of the world

without her wandering
around with that oboe.

Well, they also said she hasn't
sent in any college applications.

That kid has no plans after graduation.

Well, if her plan is to
stay here, break my hip.

Yeah.

You break mine, I'll break yours. Done!

- So we gonna put the game on?
- Yep.

I got real beer and root beer.

Let's do this.

What are we doing?

Well, Eve and I are gonna
watch the football game.

Oh, I'm in!

But I don't know anything about football,
so get ready for a lot of questions.

Um, are the Denver horses playing tonight?

The Denver broncos.

Uh, broncos are horses.

- I love horses so much.
- Right.

I had one when I
was little... Duncan.

He was imaginary, but he
went everywhere with me.

(Doorbell rings) Oh, that's the doorbell.

Maybe it's a Jehovah's witness, and
maybe it's time I gave them a listen.

Look at that... the
door is wide-open.

Hey, Baxter. What's up, Larabee?

Yeah, I told Carol you
needed me to come over here

and help you fix something.

What are you trying to get out of?

- Cooking class.
- Oh.

And whatever you and I fix
today is gonna break on Friday,

because Carol's got tickets to a play.

It's about how tough it is to
be a skinny, rich white girl,

and I'm not gonna see that.

Wow, cooking class...

Plays... yeah.

You know what?

I see a tandem bike in your future.

And you're not riding up front. Yeah.

Ever since Brandon left for college,
I've been getting all of Carol's focus,

and I've been happily
out of focus for 20 years.

Well, we're watching the game.

Who's playing? Wait, I don't care.

(Laughs) I don't even care what
sport it is. Come on. All right, cool.

Hey, Mr. Larabee.

Hey! It's Cammy.

Yeah, I heard you were staying over here.

Yes. This is my home now.

When you... when you hear it
like that, it really hits you.

Well, we're gonna put the game on, Dad.

Uh, let me get you a cold beer.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey, wait.

If Cammy is watching the
game, I think I'll pass.

We could watch the game in
the bus behind the church.

They serve beans. (Sighs)

Carol actually likes Cammy. Okay.

Yeah, when she was Cammy's
Sunday school teacher,

she would invite her over to brunch.

It was actually just breakfast,

but Cammy would talk us
all the way into lunch.

Cammy: Hey, Mr. Baxter!

They're about to do the kick-away!

Take me with you.

(Laughs) Have fun, Baxter.

Kristin!

(Gasps) I was so happy to get your text.

I have been waiting forever
for you to ask me this.

"Need to talk to you
about updating wardrobe."

We are gonna throw out everything you
own and finally say goodbye to 1997.

Yeah, uh, we're updating the uniforms
for the waitresses, not my clothes.

Ohh...

Cute top.

Are you interested or not?

I mean, I like money, so I guess
I could slap something together.

No, I don't want you to
slap something together.

I'll have to see a design
first. Three of them, actually...

that's what the other designers are doing.

Oh, I don't do what other designers do.

I do what my muse tells me to do.

Well, your muse won't be
writing the check, Mandy.

I will, okay? So you have to earn it.

I can't just give you
preferential treatment.

Yeah, of course not.

What are we, sisters?

(Chuckles nervously)

Sometimes, I wonder.

Yeah, I'm calling about Cammy Harris.

Uh-huh, she goes to your church, and it
looks like she needs a place to stay.

Uh-huh.

No, no... I-I don't think she's crazy.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I know a lot
of people that have imaginary horses.

Yeah, I get it. Calm down, I get it.

Stop yelling. You don't like her.

You've been no help, reverend.

Hey, Baxter.

Uh, are we still on for that
thing in your garage tonight?

What thing?

(Sighs) That thing that'll keep me from
going to the skinny-white-girl play.

Turns out it's a musical.

You know, Vanessa tried to get
me to do a lot of cultural things.

You know how I got out of it?

Took a fart machine to the opera.

Done.

This whole thing is my fault.

Carol wanted more kids after we had
Brandon, but I was against it.

If I'd known she was gonna
focus all her energy on me,

I'd have had 10 more kids.

Yeah.

10 more kids would be a lot
easier than going to a play.

Listen, I got a project
of my own I'm dealing with.

I need some time, if you'll excuse me.

(Sighs)

I wish Carol had a project other than me.

Hey, Larabee, Larabee.

What you need is to get away.

What if I sent you to Dallas
to check on the security system

at our Dallas store?

Wow, Baxter, man, you
really are doing me a solid.

You know, it's funny... every time
I think I got you figured out,

you surprise me.

Yeah, well, a lot of people say that.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, they do.

Hey, honey, listen... turns out
Chuck is heading to Dallas tonight.

Why don't, uh... why don't
we ask Carol over for dinner?

Yeah.

Make sure Cammy is there.

I-I'll explain later. I love you. Bye.

Surprise.

I am so proud of the
initiative you've taken

working on your college
essay these last few days.

I just... I can't wait to
see what you've come up with.

(Clears throat) Mm.

"Why not Cammy?"

That's it?

Oh, no, that's just the title. Oh, okay.

Yes, that's it.

Cammy, look, you are running out of time.

These college admissions people,
they need to get to know you.

You need to write about something

that's meaningful to
you, something emotional.

Uh, my cat died.

Oh, that's fantastic. Good.

I-I mean, sorry. No, it's... that's awful.

But it's emotional, okay?

You could write about what you
learned from that experience.

I learned that everything you love dies.

All right, that... that might be
a little dark for Arizona State.

I, uh, I'm gonna get something to drink.

You want something?

Uh, yeah, sure, I'll have
whatever you're having.

No, you won't.

Cammy?

I can't take much more of this, Mike.

I mean, what are we gonna do?

It's already done.

I called Carol over for dinner, remember?

I don't follow.

Carol likes Cammy, and Chuck said
ever since Brandon left for college,

she's been looking for
a new project, right?

Cammy is the mother of all projects.

Do you really think we can just pass
our problem onto another person?

Well, I'm just...

I'm asking... do you
really think we can do this?

(Doorbell rings)

- We're about ready to find out.
- Okay, all right.

Hey, Dad.

I mean "Mr. Baxter."

Oh, another thing for my essay...
it wasn't just my cat that died.

I had a fish that died, too.

And a mouse, and a bird.

Me and animals, right?

Hey, Carol. Come on in. Hey, hey.

Oh, hey, Mrs. Larabee. Hey, Cammy.

Can I have your coat.

Oh, oh, thanks, guys, for having me over.

I was supposed to go to a play with
Chuck, but you packed him off to Dallas.

Oh, he was upset about that.
He wants to make it up to you.

He mentioned something
about ballroom dancing.

Carol, it is just so amazingly
wonderful of you to come by...

dial it down. It's just dinner.

Oh, dinner! Gosh, I
haven't even started dinner.

I-I've been so busy
with this little angel.

(Chuckles)

Trying to get her to
focus on her college essay.

Oh.

Essay's not going well.

Well, what have you got so far?

Well, it's mostly about dead cats and fish.

It's like... it's like
a very sad Dr. Seuss.

Well, pets die.

Nobody cares.

They want to know who you are.

What's the most important thing to you?

- Don't think. Answer. Go.
- Uh, music.

Okay. Okay. You love music.

I want you to write about music for
one minute straight, no stopping.

Don't worry about
punctuation, grammar, anything.

Just write.

- What if I can't think of any...
- Go.

Okay. (Keyboard clacking)

Look at that.

Hey, could you get Vanessa to do something?

Gosh, Carol. You are so good with her.

It's just so inspiring.

It's like "to sir, with love."

You know, y-you're like
a black Sidney Poitier.

"Female"... no, I meant
"female"... "female."

Hey, don't look at me. She's your friend.

Uh, you know, Carol, it has been so hard

to get Cammy to focus
since she moved in...

'cause of the noise.
It's so noisy around here.

Oh, that's right.

Doors opening and shutting, stairs
up, down... a-and it's soup season,

and my cuisinart is just
running, running, running.

Oh, it's, like, non-stop
...minestrone, clam chowder.

No place for kids. No
place for kids. Noise.

And stop. (Snaps fingers)

Wow, I didn't think I thought of all that.

Thank you. Okay.

Oh, well, now we think a little bit
about punctuation and grammar.

Uh, I tell you what... a little
peace and quiet might be good.

Let's take a walk to my house. Great.

What about dinner?

Oh, I have to take a
rain check on dinner.

You're not missing much.

All Vanessa had planned was
soup and awkward conversation.

I have my key. What?

Mike, that was a brilliant plan!

You are a genius.

Ah, you know what they call me...
the white Albert Einstein.

- Bam!
- Oh.

Make out the check to Mandy Baxter designs.

I was having lunch at the Fairmont

when inspiration struck,
so throw in an extra hundie,

'cause I tip big. (Chuckles)

(Chuckles) Uh, I specifically
requested three designs.

What's wrong with this
one? You don't like it?

Uh, it's nice, but unless you
got two others hiding in there,

I'm gonna have to remove
you from consideration.

What? That's not fair.

It's not fair to the other designers
who did what they were asked.

Uh, were they asked to
turn in crappy designs?

Because that's all I see.

Well, one of these
crappy designs is gonna be

our new uniform because they did the work.

I will not burst into
tears in front of you.

I will not give you that satisfaction.

All right, we should
get ready to open here.

Oh, I see your designers have
turned in their offerings.

Yeah, most of them. Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's see.

This is perfect.

That's not in the running.

Yeah, but it's classy with a pinch of frisky.

(Chuckles nervously) (Chuckling) Yeah.

This waitress brings me a nice
piece of meat, I'm a happy camper.

Which makes me walk over to the retail area

and buy some camping
gear, so it makes sense.

Yes, it's good, but the designer
didn't do what was asked,

and I'd rather work with someone
who shows me the proper respect.

Uh-huh, respect...
you want respect?

Go be the queen of england.

You want to be a good manager,

sometimes you got to take
a kick to the berries.

Or whatever lady berries are called.

Okay, I crossed the line. Got to go. Okay.

This is taking too long, Mike.

Nobody can spend an hour and half with
Cammy and still want to live with her.

(Sighs) What if this doesn't work?

We'll become doctors.
We'll move to Istanbul.

(Doorbell rings)

Oh, dear God, that girl can wear you out.

I know her mom and dad.

They're nice folks, but
they're kind of hands-off.

They never laid down the law with her.

She needs somebody stronger.

Mike, it's happening. It's happening.

What's happening?

I told her if she just waited a
while, the wine would kick in.

Finish what you were gonna say.

Well, I know this is out of the blue,
but since she needs a place to stay,

could we discuss the idea of Cammy
coming to live at our house for a while?

(Gasps)

Well, we hadn't given that much
thought, but, uh... I don't know.

I think that's a good idea.

I think so, too.

I'll call her parents. I
just got to run it past Chuck.

You know, Chuck's always said he
wished he had more kids, you know?

Oh, all right, then.

Well, if Cammy's okay with
it, she's moving in with us.

Mm.

(Chuckling) Mike, you did it!

You know, I always do it.

I don't know why it
surprises people, honey.

You're getting rid of my best friend?

I can't believe this,
Dad. You're the worst.

Maybe Carol could take her, too.

(Knock on door)

Okay, I'll buy you a new rifle.

Really?

You're mad at me even
though this is your fault?

You're gonna turn into a great woman.

Thanks?

Listen, if you wanted Cammy to stay
here, you should have asked us.

You would have just said no.

Ask my parakeet.

Listen, she's better off
at the Larabees', honey.

Oh, don't pretend that's
all that matters to you, Dad.

I'm not.

You know what matters to me is you.

I went through three
rolls of quarters last week

before I realized you weren't
at the batting cage with me.

I'm sorry, but Cammy needed
a ride home from band.

And last weekend, we were supposed to
go over our fishing-trip itinerary.

We have plenty of time
to do all that stuff, Dad.

Yeah, I keep telling myself that,

but you're, like, six months
away from going to college.

And I don't want to share this
time with you with anybody.

I'm not even that happy with
your mom being around here.

I know I should have asked you about Cammy.

I-I appreciate that you care about her,
and I love that you're a loyal friend.

I really do.

It's not something she has a lot of.

(Sighs)

Look, I-if you want to have her here,
we can have that discussion, okay?

Okay.

Ironically, some sad oboe music
would be good right about now.

Well, we're going with your design.

Congratulations.

Hmm.

That's the same
half-hearted congratulations

I got from the principal
when he handed me my diploma.

Once again, Mandy gets rewarded
for doing next to nothing.

Uncanny... that's exactly
what the principal said.

What's your problem?

I'm sorry.

It just gets annoying watching
you breeze through life

without putting in any effort.

What are these?

What? Nothing. No, stop touching things.

These are designs for the uniforms.

Why didn't you turn these
in with the other ones?

They're just doodles.

What makes you say that they're uniforms?

Uh, they have aprons. Uh...

Aprons are in.

If you ever let me take you
to the mall, I could show you.

You put a lot of work into these.

Ohh.

- I get it.
- What? What do you get?

You work really hard.

No, I don't.

I'm a genius.

I throw things together at the last second.

Great designers get inspired.

They don't perspire.

And if they do, it smells... Really smart.

Okay, great designer.

Nice work.

Oh, and don't worry
...your secret is safe.

Thank you, but, hey, um...
Let's get our stories straight.

So, I came up with the
design in, uh, five minutes,

and I was pretty drunk.
(Chuckles) Right, right.

Ooh, and you drew on the
back of a cocktail napkin.

Ooh, I like that.

Hey.

Hey.

So, I have a problem.

I've loved staying here
with you and your folks.

I mean, your parents are so funny
the way they act all annoyed.

Yeah, we laugh all day.

But the Larabees want me to stay with them.

And they're great, too.

I mean, Mrs. Larabee just
helped me finish my essay.

What do you think I should do?

(Sighs)

I think you should live with the Larabees.

Are you sure?

I mean, your dad and I
have gotten really close.

He might miss me.

No... That's okay.

I'll just hang out with him a
little more to make up for it.

Cool.

Well, better start packing.

One one-thousand, two
one-thousand, break.

(Sighs) I know the rules.

Well, you got your wish.

Peyton Manning is gonna open a
barbecue restaurant in our garage?

Cammy is going to live with the Larabees.

You wanted us to be able to spend
time together, so now we can.

I think it's a good idea, honey.

Yeah, I didn't want you moping
around like Obama got a third term.

(Shudders)

I still have some stuff left in the dryer.

Hey, can I watch one
more game with you guys?

Yeah, h...

Dad is gonna miss you around here.

Don't worry. I'll be around a lot.

Ehh...

(Sighs) Baxter.

Hey, Larabee. How was your trip?

You know, the whole flight to Dallas, I
was thinking what a nice guy you are.

Yeah. I'm a prince.

Then I get a call from Carol.

She's agreed to let Cammy stay
with us for the next few months.

Well, you and Carol taking care
of that poor little white girl

is like "blind side" in reverse.

And the whole flight home, I was thinking
of different ways I could kill you.

You know, it's a two-hour flight.

I am a marine.

I think you and Carol are gonna be
happy that Cammy is at your house.

But, you know, it turns out
Cammy's not just a fan of music.

She's also a fan of theater and the arts.

So, Carol's got herself a new project.

In the end, you did me a favor, Baxter.

You are a prince.

You know, not every plan is perfect.

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