All language subtitles for Wizards of Waverly Place - S2E4 - Racing

Is he looking at me?
Is he looking at me?

- No. Walk by again.
- I can't.

That'll be my fifth time.
He'll think I'm lost.

How am I gonna
figure out if he likes me?

Why is this
so hard for you?

Because he knows
I like him,

And I don't know
how he feels about me.

I've never been
in this position before.

That's why I play it cool around Justin.
I don't want him to know I like him.

There he is! Hi, Justin I was wondering
if you wanted to come over today

Because I rented three dvds and
they're not due till Monday...

All right, I'll talk to you
later about it! Bye!

Yeah, I can't play it
cool like you, Harper.

Look, I'm just gonna
go up to him,

Talk to him
and see if he likes me.

- Hey, Dean!
- What's up, russo?

Hey, Dean! We got the full
story on that sweet ride!

- The one for the race at paramus!
- Sounds great.

Joey's getting the story on this
car we might run. Tell it, joey.

Yeah, tell it, joey.

So, they had to rebuild. It was
completely greasy and... And...

Car's not gonna be ready in time.

Oh, bummer that stinks.

And I'll bet they attached
thettlebrock heads

And ordered a new
mylodon panatonic coat.

We didn't want that car. It didn't
have rack-and-pinion steering.

Yeah, 'cause steering
is important.

Because without it
all roads...

...Would have to be straight.

"all roads would have to be
straight"? That went terrible.

What's a "rack and pinion"
anyway?

Well, a "rack" is what
you hang clothes on,

And "'pinion" is what
you think of things.

Like, "my 'pinion of that dress,
Harper, is that it's beautiful."

Oh, why, thank you.

Well, that sounds
kind of right, Harper,

But I don't think they
were talking about clothes.

Dean's always got
his posse with him.

I need to get alone time
with him, you know?

Aren't you afraid
of being alone with him?

I hear he uses bar soap
for his body and his hair.

No. That's the only way
I'll figure out if he likes me.

Alone time is golden time.

That's what my mom
always says to my dad

Before they take their
separate vacations every summer.

Um, ok, here he comes. I'm gonna try it again.
If I jack it up, just pull the fire alarm.

I will not pull the fire alarm!
I'm a junior fire marshall.

Hey! Um, my family owns
the waverly sub station,

Which is really convenient if you want
a sandwich. You should come by sometime.

You got salads there?
I likes my greens.

He does.
He eats balanced.

What...

I wasn't panicking.
I was doing fine.

It wasn't me.
This must be a real fire.

All right! Nice and orderly, people!
Nice and orderly! Single file!

I'm a junior fire marshall!

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Max, why do you
keep sending away

For that stuff from the
back of the wizard weekly?

It's always a rip-off.

Justin, come on.

There's no way an invisibility
poncho could be a rip off.

Watch. All I need to do
is put this on,

And I am invisible.

Hey. You can't
see me, can you?

I'm over here.

Now, I'm over here.

Now, I'm over here.

Can't see me,
can you?

Um, only your poncho
disappeared.

Oh, man.
It's defective.

Of course it's defective.
Dude, it's a rip-off.

Those things never deliver
on what they promise.

Instead of spending time on that, you
should be taking steps to improve yourself,

Like I am.

You got a job
as an ice cream man?

Tennis racquet.

It's gonna be hard to scoop
ice cream with that thing.

I'm taking tennis lessons.

I've decided that taking up a sport will
look good on my college applications.

If you had a job
as an ice cream man,

You wouldn't need
to go to college.

Max, why don't you save
yourself some time and heartache

And put your poncho package
up on your "shelf of shame."

Ah, the amazing
3-d glasses.

Let's put these things on,

And take a look at
what else you fell for.

Shall we?

Ah, the amazing transport stick.

I remember this one.

It'll take you anywhere
you want to go,

As long as it's
only 36 inches away.

This one's not a rip-off.

Transport!

Oh, yeah.

Now I remember what
the defect was.

Anybody around it when I say
"transport" gets knocked out.

You're right, Justin.
These things are a rip-off.

Mind-reading kit!
I'm so getting this!

Wow! Thank you, Harper,

For going through all that trouble to make a
themed outfit for when I hang out with Dean,

But you're not
a part of that, right?

This isn't for you and Dean.

This is for my first day
of driver's education.

It can't hurt to put
your best foot forward.

That's ok, mrs. Russo.
You have the right of way.

Cars always yield
to pedestrians.

Um, honey, listen,
I found this great charity

Where you donate your used car and
they give it to someone who needs it.

Great. I love charities, but
we don't have a car to donate.

Uh, yeah we do. The piece
of junk in the garage,

That makes us call
our laundry room the garage.

And I suppose just because there's a
treadmill with your stockings hanging on it,

It's a home gym, too.

Oh, my gosh. He's here. What
do I do? What do I bring him?

- He likes salad.
- Right. Ok.

- Alex, that's not a salad.
- Oh. Right.

Good.

How am I going to talk to him
and find out if he likes me now?

I'm gonna tell him
I need to talk to him alone.

Whoa, you never tell a guy
you want to talk to him alone.

You know what that sounds
like? He's in trouble.

Or that a girl wants to talk about
her feelings, which is also trouble.

Why would I ever
listen to you two?

- Don't you want a guy's point of view?
- Yeah, sure.

Why don't you nurses
find one and send him over?

Five-point-four percent
of nurses are men.

- It's a noble profession.
- Yeah.

You know what else
is a noble profession?

Continuing to speak to Alex
like she's on a tenth grade level

When we know she can't
comprehend most words.

- Ooh-hoo-hoo! -
"comprehend" means understand.

- S-s-s-s.
- Total burn.

And I would have treated that burn, if
you hadn't talked smack about nurses.

Ok, look, Alex, if you
wanna talk to a guy,

You gotta find an object
of common interest.

For example, Dean's into cars and
roaming the halls without a pass.

Nah-uh! He does have a pass.
I make them for him.

Oh! Why don't you talk
to him about that car

Mom and dad are always
fighting about?

Dean's into cars,
you got a car... Huh?

Here's your object of
common interest. Take it.

I think I get it, Justin.

For example, you're into
action figures.

I was going through my dad's
stuff that we have to sell

And I found something I'm not
sure we should keep or throw out.

- It might be an action figure.
- Action figures, huh?

Yeah, it's like an old boat
captain or something.

With a hook for a hand and a
glass eye that's also a telescope?!

Yeah. How did you know?

Because that's a first edition
captain jim bob sherwood!

Well, you can come over and look
at it right after we have dinner.

You got it!

Wow, his advice
really worked!

I think we have a date.
You should listen to him more.

I should listen to a lot of people
more. But what are you gonna do?

Hey, salad.

Just like my mama makes.

Thanks, russo.

So, uh,
what's going on?

The guys are upset about not
having a car to race at paramus,

So I thought I'd cheer
'em up with some nachos.

Oh, we don't
serve nachos.

But, how about
I melt some cheese

On some stale bread?
Would that work?

Sure. Just like my mama makes.

Yes...

Like your mom really
makes it like that...

Oh, I'm laughing too long.

Awkward.

My dad has an old car
that doesn't work.

It's in the garage. You can work on it
and fix it and maybe enter it in the race.

Really? The race at the
paramus fair is in a week.

Ooh, I love the fair!

I hear in the infield
this year,

They're gonna break the record by
making the world's biggest sloppy joe.

So, uh, when should we come by
to check out the car?

Now. You should come alone
because the garage is cramped

Only room for
a couple people.

Ok. Guys, I'm working
on the car by myself.

Daddy, you know that car momma
says is junk but I love?

You love my car?

Oh, yes. Keep up with me here.
Love it.

Ok. And you're going to love
that I got somebody from school

To come over
and fix it for free!

I do like free things.

So this is the mind reading
kit you sent away for?

It looks like
a toilet paper tube

With glitter and macaroni
shells glued to it.

It was a kit.
I followed the instructions.

Ok.

Now think something!

Thinking.

Think harder!

Don't think you need one of those
to figure out what I'm thinking.

You got ripped
off again, dude.

- It works!
- It works?

If you gotta stand that close
to hear someone's thoughts,

The only thing you're gonna hear is, "why is
this freak holding a macaroni tube to my head?"

So easy to criticize when you didn't
spend hours with a hot glue gun.

It took you hours
to make this stupid thing?

No, it took me a few minutes
to make this thing.

It took me a few hours to get
my hand unglued from my face.

Transport!

That's what you get
for making fun of my stuff.

Can you hold it closer?

Uh, the answer
to that is yes.

- Since you asked me something, I'd like to ask you something.
- Sure. Anything.

Ok, well, there's a lot of
ways I could go here. So...

How do you feel
about me...

...In flip-flops? I'm thinking
about going casual all summer.

Uh, well...

That's, uh, not a shoe that
provides very much protection.

- I'd vote against it.
- Yeah, totally. That's what I was thinking.

Look, I'm just gonna come out and
ask you what I really want to ask you.

No, no, no, no. It's my turn.
I wanna tell you something.

Oh, you want to tell me
something? That's great.

'cause now would be the time
to do it. No one's around.

Ok, uh...

Well, I've been, uh, having
this feeling that, uh...

Hey, I just came down
to use the home gym.

There, that should
dry nicely.

So, how's my baby doing?

- Daddy, I'm fine.
- Oh. Wh... Well, you are my baby.

But, I was talking
about my baby.

Ok, we're both fine.

Hey, if the man's giving me
his car to race at paramus,

- He gets to see what I'm doing to it.
- We're racing it at the fair?

They're making the world's
biggest sloppy joe this year!

I love food that's
bigger than it should be!

All this talk about sloppy joes
is making you hungry.

You should have mom
go make you one.

- What's going on?
- I'm adjusting your air intake,

So your fuel
will be more rich.

You should try doing that
to the cash register upstairs.

Oh! Watch the pipe.

Guys! Guess what? We tried
out for the tennis team,

And the coach told us
to get in shape.

- Really?
- For the cross country team.

We didn't make
the tennis team.

Apparently, our headbands
were a little too tight.

We got light-headed
really fast.

Great story. Go tell
everybody in the sub station?

Already told 'em.
They said to come down here.

All right, Alex,

Who shoved a super-duper bouncy
ball in my mind-reading tube?

Well, I don't know.

Who's the only person in this
family who has a super bouncy ball?

Me, but then I lost it.

If anyone sees it,
it looks just like this one.

Ok! Everybody fan out and help
Max find his super bouncy ball.

I think I saw it. Come
on, upstairs. Not here.

Yay! It's momma, coming down
here to get you all out of here.

That's a miracle.

Dean, my man!
That's fantastic!

Come on, let's take
it for a test drive!

Yes!

- Whoo!
- Bucket seats!

Okay. Fine.
Let's all take a family ride

In the new car.

Ok.

All right.

Oh, uh, honey, can you open the
garage door, so we can get out of here?

You wanted to
be alone, right?

Well, it's not like
they ditched you, Alex.

You did get to ride
in the car with Dean.

Yeah, on my mom's lap

With Justin and zeke signaling
truckers to blow their horn.

Honk! Dork! Dork!

Not how I pictured it!

So, I'm sorry you didn't
get to find out if he likes you.

Maybe it wouldn't even matter
if I was alone with Dean.

Maybe he's the kind of guy who just
doesn't tell people if he likes them.

Oh, man. Dean and I are having
the best time fixing up that car.

You know what
he told me?

He likes me.

It made my day.

I'm giddy for you, dad.

But, did he happen
to mention anything about me?

Why would he do that?

This is so frustrating. I've tried
everything. What am I gonna do now?

Yeah, too bad you
can't read his mind.

Yeah... Too bad.

See, right there. If I knew how to read
minds, I would know exactly what you meant

By the way you said,
"yeah. Too bad."

I can't believe I didn't
make the cross country team.

Everybody makes
the cross country team.

I mean, I know I threw up.
But I kept running.

I'll tell my family
I made the cross country team

And then I'll sand down the soles
of my shoes to make it look real.

Oh, hey, Alex.
Guess what?

I made the cross country team.

It works. You're a liar.

All right, what else
might come in handy?

- Oh. "transport stick?" I wonder how it works.
- No, no, no! Alex,

- Whatever you do, don't! Don't oh!
- Oh. Transport!

Lap five, race fans! The
racers have begun lap five!

Honk it! Honk your horn! Honk it!

Would you two sit down?
There's no honking in racing.

Hey, there's Dean in my car!

Hey, he honked at me!

I gotta go. I figured out a place where I
can get Dean alone and see if he likes me,

During a pit stop. No one
can interrupt us there.

That's not going to work.
His posse is his pit crew.

- They'll be all over him.
- They'll be all over his car.

- It's the only time they won't focus on him.
- I'll come with you.

Really? Is this, like, whole "me and
Dean alone" thing just, like, lost on you?

Not anymore. I'll stay here.

Russo, how'd you get in here?

You can get in anywhere with a jumpsuit and
a yardstick. I want to talk to Dean, alone.

A bean burrito and a side of
hash browns. How 'bout you?

What? No!
That's not what I said.

Russo. What're you
doing down here?

Look Dean, I was
trying to find

A quiet place
so we could talk.

You know that I like you and that's why
I've been acting kind of weird lately.

And not my amazingly charming
and cool-without-trying self.

- You're good to go! Go! Go!
- What? No, stay! Stay!

Sorry, russo.
Got a race to win.

Transport!

Shoot! Didn't think
this through.

Oh, he's looks so cute
when he's sleeping.

Sorry, Dean. Transport!

Oh, no. The giant sloppy joe
is full of ants.

Oh, wait.
Those are people.

This is gonna be great!

Oh, man!

Dean, are you ok?

I have to find
joey a girlfriend.

Ok, that's what
you're thinking about?

What is Dean up to?
He's scratching up my baby!

Wow. That looks bad enough
to ruin the car.

We'll never be able
to take it home.

This will never work.
The macaroni's falling off.

Ok, it's time to go
old school on this.

- Dean, we need to talk.
- What?

Russo! What are you
going in here?

Watch it!

Brake, brake!
Now punch the throttle!

- Not bad.
- Dean, look. I like you, a lot.

Draft him. Draft him.

- Do you like me, or not?
- Whoa. Yeah, yeah, I do.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Why do you think I told the guys they couldn't help?
- Why?

Because, I wanted
to be alone,

But then your family kept piling in.
I'm trying to make a good impression.

I'm not going
to tell them to leave.

My uncle raised me with manners.

You wanted to make
a good impression?

Yeah, but I wasn't sure
how far to go.

That's so sweet.

Dean, sorry, maybe you
should take the wheel.

Yeah.

- We make a good team.
- Yeah, we do.

I'm not talking
about the driving.

Good, 'cause neither was I.

Sloppy Joe!

This is so romantic!

Hey. What are you
doing out here?

Oh, well, I just found out
the boy I like likes me.

So, like all
those sappy movies

I thought I should come out here to
the terrace and stare at the stars.

But I gotta tell you,
it's really boring.

So, I guess you and Dean
are an item then?

I gotta say, I'm kinda sorry about that.

Since when do you care?

I'd always thought
when you got a boyfriend

I'd be able to intimidate him if
he gets out of line or something,

But I don't think
I could do that with Dean.

He ripped the sleeves
off of his winter coat.

Aw, don't worry about it.

If he gets out of line, I'll be slapping
him silly with those winter coat sleeves.

Good one.

- I wish I would have
thought of that. - Yeah.

So, what are you
doing out here?

Hiding from dad.

He thinks I'm at
cross country practice.

Well, let me help you with that.

- Oh!
- There. Now you're all sweaty.

You wouldn't.

Transport.

Thank you very much.

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