All language subtitles for Wizards of Waverly Place - S2E27 - Wizards Vs. Vampires Tasty Bites

OK, guys, Juliet's gonna
be here any minute.

How do I look?

You think the boutonniere's over the top?
Is a little bit, huh?

What about my candelabrum?

It would be fine, if you had
a hunchback and a bell tower.

[candelabrum clangs]

Justin, relax. It's gonna be fine.

Well, it's just this
is the first meal

Juliet's having with our family

and, you know, I don't
want anything to go wrong.

Oh, what could possibly go wrong?

I think tonight might be the night

I try to eat my dinner blindfolded.

But then you wouldn't
know what you were eating.

You should do it.

Dad, give me the socks you're
wearing and some butter. Go.

I don't need butter to eat socks.

Good luck not being ashamed
of all that, sweetie.

Justin's new vampire girlfriend
is coming over for dinner tonight.

I still can't get
used to saying that.

I can.

[singsong] Justin's
got a girlfriend,

a vampire girlfriend.

- Justin's got a girlfriend.
- [Justin] Dad!

I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to get out

all of my inappropriate
behavior before she gets here.

Hey, who wants to see
my appendix scar?

[doorbell chimes]

That's her.

Dad, I'm not opening that door
until you put your shirt down.

Good.

OK. [clears throat]

Hi, Justin.

[exhales] Hello, Juliet.

Why, you're a vision of
loveliness and enchantment.

Oh, you're so cute when you
give me old-timey compliments.

Well, you're a vampire.
Vampires are really old, right?

[stammering] I mean, uh,
not that you're old or look old.

You look great for your age.
Which would be...?

Justin, I already told you,
I'm not telling you how old I am.

If I did, you would freak out.
Like Caesar did. Oh, shoot!

[singsong] I'm narrowing it down.

[singsong] Nobody cares.

[clears throat] Yoknow my family.

Hi, guys.

Wow, it smells
really great in here.

Well, I've prepared a special meal

in honor of our special guest.

It's my special...

...ten cheese enchilada surprise.

The surprise is an eleventh cheese!

Eleven cheeses in one dish? Um...

I'm really sorry, Mr.
and Mrs. Russo.

I don't think I can eat that.

I probably should've
mentioned this earlier,

but vampires are kind
of health conscious.

Juliet, you're right.

This cheesy food could
be considered unhealthy.

And my family deserves
better than that.

[exclaims]

From now on, the Russos will
be eating much healthier.

Isn't that right, Jerry?

Get in there and
fight for our cake!

Right.

Sure, honey. You know
how I always support

your unpredictable whims.

Sorry.

Thank you.
Now throw that cake away.

[sighs, whimpers]

[gasps]

[groaning]

[exclaims]

Wow! You've only been
here for a few minutes

and my family's already
better off for knowing you.

You're incredible.

- No, you are, Justin.
- No, you are.

[both simpering] No, you are.

Butterfly kiss!

Wow. well... [laughs]

This just is great.

I'm gonna go take out the trash.

- [door shuts]
- I'm gonna help her.

* Well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze *

* That the end will no doubt
justify the means *

* You can fix any problem with
the slightest of ease *

* Yes please *

* But you might find out it'll
go to your head *

* When you write a report on a
book you never read *

* With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed *

* That's what I said *

* Everything is not
what it seems *

* When you can get all you wanted
in your wildest dreams *

* You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes *

* Because everything is
not what it seems *

* Everything is not
what it seems *

* When you can have what you want
by the simplest of means *

* Be careful not to mess with
the balance of things *

* Because everything is not... *

* What it seems *

Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Thanks to Juliet,
I have seen the error of our ways.

We are throwing out
all of this junk food

and we're never lookin' back.

Wait, Mom. You can't do that.

Of course I can, sweetie.
I'm your mom.

I can do whatever I want.

Well, then I'm out.

I was this close

to eating meals with you
guys out of convenience,

but you, mother,
just put a stop to that.

So thank you for ruining
our family! [sobs]

[laughing] I'm just kidding.

[Alex sighs]

But seriously, I'm not
gonna eat with you guys.

That... that's just so good.

Hi, Juliet.
Guess what's in this bag.

Nothing but junk food.
I could smell it from a mile away.

Vampire sense of smell.
Hey, is Justin around?

[sniffs] Oh, he's upstairs.

Look at you. Cloudy day so
you're out without an umbrella.

Excuse me?

[whispering] I know
you're a vampire.

I'm Harper. And I just
want to let you know

that there are no hard feelings.

Hard feelings? About what?

Oh, Justin didn't tell you?
[scoffs]

That is just like him,
trying to spare other people's feelings.

He and I have had an on-and-off
relationship for years.

We're off now, which is why
you guys are on. So I'm cool.

Whoa, whoa! What's with the garlic?

We were just having a conversation.

Sorry. I just wasn't sure how
this whole thing was gonna go.

So you made a garlic necklace.

No, I actually had it.

It's for this pasta outfit
that I'm working on.

Oh, you're the
food-for-clothes girl.

Yeah, Justin has talked about you.

Yes!

So this is our new garden,

where we'll be growing all
sorts of exciting vegetables,

including broccoli, which they
say has near magical qualities.

It'll be magical if
I can get it down

without a warm cheese sauce.

Hmm. Magical qualities, huh?

Did you say something, Max?

Nope. Didn't say a word.

Hmm. Magical qualities, huh.

Let's just pretend we
didn't hear it that time.

Don't let this garden go to waste.

Give all this food
a lot more taste.

Well, that was unexpected.

Man, that Pilates class was great.

I've never felt more physically
or emotionally centered

in all of my life.

Hey Alex, would you
like to join us?

It'd really help
strengthen your core.

Oh, no thanks. I like my core
loose and in front of the TV.

Uh... Dad, aren't those
shorts a little tight?

They're looser than
I thought they'd be.

Oh! Oh, my gosh. What is going on?

A total aerobic workout.
That's what's going on.

The perfect complement
to healthy eating.

- Dad, you're OK with this?
- Yeah, of course.

What's not to be OK with?
It's a great idea.

Let's start stretching, Jerry.

Another great idea.

I just...

Trying to...

Oh!

Wha...? I give up
eating with you people,

and now you're making it impossible

for me to watch
television in my own home?

I'm so desperate, I'm thinking
about going to Harper's house.

[singsong] Hum de dum de dum.

- What are you doing?
- What? Nothing.

[clears throat] Why do you ask?

Because it looks like
you're humming suspiciously

to look casual.

That's exactly what I was doing.

Now, let's see what
you're really up to.

[yelps] Oh!

Max! What did you do?

[Max] Umm...

Well, I just wanted to use magic

to make the vegetables
taste better,

but I've made a giant pumpkin.

I'm going to live in it.

First, I need to carve a
door in the side of it.

Max, that's a spoon.

I know what it's called.

[dinging rhythmically]

Oh.

Alex Russo and friend.
What a pleasant surprise.

What can I get for you?

Your daughter out of my house.

She's made it impossible for
me to eat anything unhealthy.

You know, with all the
time Juliet's been spending

with your brother, we could
use an extra hand around here.

What would you say
to a part-time job

here at the Late Nite Bite?

A job? Well, doesn't sound
like something I'd do,

but it would get me out
of Family Exercise Night.

Look at you. So clever and cunning.

Sometimes we wish
Juliet had more of that.

Yeah, in a lot of ways,

you're probably more like
a vampire than she is.

Oh, thank you.

So it's settled. You'll both
start working here immediately.

Me, too? Yes!

You know, we find
Juliet's health kicks

rather irritating, too.

Really? I thought all vampires
were health conscious.

No, it's mainly just
the younger generation.

They sometimes even try to
get humans to eat better

so they'll have healthier
blood to suck. [chuckles]

They're very fanatical about it.

What did you just say?

I said they're fanatical about it.

No, before that.

I said it's mainly the
younger generation.

Yes, but after that.

Oh, I think she's talking about
the part where you mentioned

how younger vampires try
to get humans healthier

before drinking their
delicious blood.

That's the one. OK, um...

Well, excuse me, just...

[Alex bangs head] Oh!
You've got to be kidding me.

But her shift just started.

I'll cover her shift.
I knew how this was gonna go.

I just didn't think it
would happen so soon.

Max?

There's some mail here for ya.

[Max] Hold on.

This is my mail slot.

Yeah, I get it.

I hope you're not jealous

that I moved out of the
house before you did.

Tell Mommy and Daddy I said,
"Hi." Loser.

OK. I'll tell 'em.

Mom, Dad. The kid living
in the jack-o'-lantern

thinks I'm the loser.

Justin, uh,
let's talk about Juliet.

Isn't she the greatest?
I could talk about her all day.

Yes, she's cute, and she's
looking past your jungle toes,

and we're all really excited
for you, but look...

She wants to drink your blood.

What are you talking about?

I got a job over at
the Late Nite Bite,

and while I was there I found
out that young vampires

like to feed on the healthiest
human blood they can find.

I can't believe it.

You got a job?

- I know, it's weird, huh?
- Totally. Up top!

No! Stop.

I think Juliet is trying
to get you healthy

so she can drink your blood.

Come on, Alex. Juliet's
a vampire with a soul,

so she has a conscience.

That's why she volunteers at
blood banks on the weekends.

Keep talkin'. You're almost there.

And I bet you think it's
weird that she salivates

uncontrollably around me when
I wear v-neck t-shirts, too.

On to sports.

[crowd cheering on TV]

Oh, my gosh! My girlfriend's
gonna suck my blood.

Well, look at that,
you stuck the landing.

Justin.

Juliet!

Vampire speed. Forgot about that.

Hey, why are you wearing a scarf?
It's like 75 degrees out.

I'm not wearing a scarf.

Oh, you mean this? OK,
I'm wearing a scarf.

Why are you acting so weird?

You probably have heat stroke.

Let's get that scarf off.

[yelps]

Hey, so, guess what?

I woke up this evening and
my fangs had come in. Look.

Stay back!

Keep your filthy fangs away
from my perfect, succulent neck!

- Justin! What are you doing?
- Trying to save my life.

Alex told me you're
trying to get me healthy

just so you can drink my blood.

What? No, you're my boyfriend.

I would never do
anything like that.

I know, but Alex said...

Aren't you always saying
your sister's up to no good?

Why would you believe her?

It's a complicated
relationship we have together.

- [stutters, laughs]
- [garlic thumps]

I'm sorry, I should've known
better than to listen to Alex.

Just 'cause she's working
for your parents,

she thinks she's like
some expert on vampires.

She's working for my parents?

Yeah, she's over there
now with Harper.

Oh, my gosh. There's no
easy way to say this,

so I'm just gonna come
right out with it.

OK.

My parents might be planning
to drink their blood.

I love you, too. I...

You didn't say what I
thought you were...

Come on! Let's go
tell your parents!

Mom, Dad...

Juliet said she loved me.

Well, she didn't,
but I thought she was going to.

Justin. Blood drinking.

And she didn't freak
out when I said it.

- Aww.
- Thank you, Mom.

Alex. Harper. Danger.

This is an important milestone
in out relationship.

My parents are about to drink
Alex and Harper's blood.

- Oh!
- What?

Thank you. Someone who
understands danger.

OK, now that they know that,

can we get back to
talking about us?

We'll talk about it
on the way. Come on.

Did the satellite guy come?

I gotta tell him where
to put the dish.

Max, we are in the middle
of something, here.

Your sister and Harper are
about to be bitten by vampires.

Cool! That's even better
than the satellite.

Come on. Let's get over there.

Oh, my gosh. What if we
only have time to save one?

Alex is our daughter.

But Harper has so
much more potential.

We both know it'd be Harper

who'd take care of
us in our old age.

We'll talk about it on our way.

All right...

Since it's between rushes,

why don't we take your
photos for your company IDs.

But there's only two employees.

It's a state law thing.
Just take a picture, will ya?

I'm sorry. I'm just a tad hungry,
that's all.

Alex, you first. Mmm?

OK, good.

Just tilt your head a little.

[man] More.

More...

[growling] More.

Uh... This is a
little uncomfortable.

But it makes for a good picture.

Chin out. Chin out.
Really stretch it.

Now, Cindy, why don't
you go over there

and help her with
her head position?

But it's Alex's employee ID.

Oh, relax. Cindy's a vampire.

She's not going to show up
in the picture. [chuckles]

Come on, Cindy.

Actually, I didn't
know I was going first.

I thought I was "
taking a picture" with, uh...

...hmmm, Harper. [chuckles]

Uh, Heh-heh. N-n-no,
I don't think we dided that.

Yes, we did. You were going
to "take a picture" wh Alex,

who is, frankly,
slightly more bitter.

Would somebody take my picture?
I'm cramping up over here.

- [muttering]
- All right, fine.

Alex! Harper!

What are you guys doing here?

I'm in the middle of
getting my company ID.

Juliet, I kind of fibbed
about me and Justin.

- You know what? That can wait.
- Why?

Because those vampires are
about to suck your blood.

What?!

You're right, we can
just talk about it later.

Is this true, Cindy?

Yeah well, kind of, I mean...

It's not so bad.
It's just like a mosquito bite.

And then all your blood is gone.

Mom, Dad, you said you weren't
gonna do this anymore.

Are we gonna have to move again?

I know this embarrasses you,

but unfortunately, it's who we are.
We're vampires.

We can't all have the incredible
self-control that you have.

Wait a minute. So you two were
planning this the whole time?

Unbelievable.

Well, maybe this goes
without saying, but I quit.

I, uh, kinda need the job,
so I'm gonna take my chances.

You know what?

I haven't eaten anything in the
six months we've been here.

And maybe opening a sandwich
shop four doors down

from another sandwich shop
wasn't such a good idea,

so I'm cool with drinking some
blood and movin' to Phoenix.

- [pipe clanks]
- Mom?

- [pipe clanks]
- [Alex] Dad?

Harper! Oh, we've come to save you

What about me?

You guys. We're here
to save you guys.

- [pipe clanks]
- Max!

Did they bite her? Did I miss it?

Who is that boy?

[whimpering] Get him away from us!

What's going on?

It's like they're afraid
of Max or something.

No, it's not Max,
it's his smell. [gagging]

[chuckles] Believe it or not,

this isn't even one
of his worst days.

No, it's the pumpkin.
Vampires hate pumpkin.

More than garlic. That's why
people originally put...

...pumpkins outside their
house on Halloween,

to keep away the vampires.

Please make it stop!

Just get that awful,
awful boy away from us!

Not until you...

Not until you apologize for
almost biting my daughter's neck

and turning her into a
vampire for all eternity.

All right, all right. We're sorry.

What if we smooth it over with
a little bit of ice cream?

Really? You were just about to
turn our daughter into a vampire

and you think you can just
smooth it over with ice cream?

So you don't want the ice cream?

- No, we want the ice cream.
- Jerry!

Um... and I think we
need more of an apology.

Unlimited toppings?

I accept your apology.
I'll take mine in a cup.

Dad, they were just about
to drink our blood.

That's right. This is unacceptable.

Harper was gonna be the one to
take care of us in our old age.

[whispering] Yes!

Alright. I'll make dinner, too.

Who's up for some
really rare steaks?

Hey, Pumpkin Boy.
[whistles] Go take a shower.

And hurry back if you want a steak.

OK, listen guys,
we start out with salad.

No butter, no fries,
and water instead of soda.

Would somebody bite her?

You're totally
checking out my neck.

No, I'm not. I had a big breakfast.

- You are so cute.
- No, you are.

Nose kiss!

Ugh. We are trying to enjoy

about a ton of pumpkin
pie over here, people.

You know, we're gonna have
to eat this whole thing,

because it's not gonna
fit in the fridge.

Can you hand me that big spoon?

Jerry, that's a shovel.

I know what it's called.

Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com