All language subtitles for Wizards of Waverly Place - S2E20 - Family Game Night

Harper!
I see you dressed

for your history test on
the women's suffrage movement.

- How'd it go?
- Great.

Except I fell off my bustle
during the essay part.

Everybody saw
my pantaloons.

Oh, they're looking again.

Wait a minute.
There's an essay?

I thought there was
just multiple choice.

That's why I wrote down
all my guesses on my arm.

I didn't write anything
about an essay.

Yes, you did. It says "essay"
right there by your elbow.

No, that says "easy."

I wrote that down
as a motivator.

I need to switch brains
with you.

Whoa! I don't want
your brain in my body.

Would it sound better if I said
I wanted to switch bodies?

Well, you are wearing
a cute outfit today.

And I get to wear...

..that. Oh, OK.

Alex, Harper.Cambia corporum
meum corpora sua nominavi.

- Oh!
- Harper?

Alex?

Yes!

[sighs] OK, Alex, I guess
I'll take your test for you,

but I'm not walking around
with the answers on my arm.

Oh, fine, but if you run out
of time at the end of the test,

just answer all As.

You'll be right one fourth
of the time which...

I think is passing.

I had fun with you at the art
museum last night, Justin.

That was a great date.

What? A date?

You and me? Like...

What? The only reason
you and I were alone

is because no one else in
the group bothered to show up.

But I saw the way
you were looking at me.

I was looking at you
because you were standing

in front of every painting
I was looking at.

Oh, I was looking at you
looking at the art,

because that was my art.

And now my cell-phone wallpaper.

I've read tons of articles
on dating and relationships,

and last night
was definitely a date.

Staying alone with someone
because you don't wanna be rude

and just bug out of there
is not a date.

I do the all quizzes, too.

They all say
I'd be a great girlfriend.

- Girlfriend?
- Yes! I'll be your girlfriend.

- I'm so glad you asked.
- No! I don't think I did.

And by the way,
I'm talking slowly right now,

which means I don't understand
what's happening.

I'll tell you
what's happening. Love.

And love is
the most important thing.

Because in the future,
when the aliens take over,

it's the only thing
we'll have left.

You know, you really didn't
have to add the alien part

'cause I'm already
really scared.

That's how you know
it's real.

Hey, so what are you
doing tonight?

Because I think
we should go on a second date.

Oh, you do? I can't, because
I'm going to the Mets game.

Great! It's a date.

Our relationship is off
to a great start.

Hey, I know it's taken me
a long time to say this,

- but I love you.
- Uhh!

I'm in love!

Way to go, Justin.
You're in a relationship.

I never thought
it would happen.

What are you talking about?
It happens all the time.

The werewolf, the centaur girl,
the goth chick.

Why do people think
I don't date?

I don't remember 'em.

Anyway, it's awesome that you
came to me with this problem.

I didn't come to you.
You came over here to me.

True, but you usually go
to Alex with this type of stuff.

You're talking to me.
I'm taking it as a victory.

I am here for you, bro.

OK. [sighs] So what
should I do about Daphne

thinking that we're dating
when we're actually not dating?

Hmm. That is a tough one.

I am stumped.

♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ You can get all you wanted
in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪♪

OK, Alex, I really aced
your history test for you.

I hope you made it believable
that I took the test.

For the things
you didn't know,

did you draw a picture
to distract them?

I just don't feel right
about cheating like this.

Cheaters never prosper.
Switch me back. Switch me back!

OK. Alex, Harper.

Cambia corporum
meum corpora sua nominavi.

What happened?
Why am I still looking at me?

And you spilled
iced mocha on my dress.

Suffragettes did not drink
iced mochas.

Cool it, weirdo.
It didn't work.

Let me try it again.

Alex, Harper.Cambia corporum
meum corpora sua nominavi.

I don't know what happened,
but don't worry.

I'll just go into the lair
and figure it out.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

Hi, Justin. Cute shirt.

Thank you. I actually...
What did you do to it?

- Where?
- Stop it, Alex.

- We're on a mission.
- Oh, Alex.

I need to ask you
something.

I'm taking a girl
to the baseball game.

What girl?
Who are you taking?

Daphne.
She thinks we're dating.

I need your sneaky advice
of how to get out of it.

Dump her. Just dump her.
Dump her hard.

Oh! You wanna get rid of her,
you're gonna need a road flare,

a barrel of maple syrup,
and a mini trampoline.

We're not using the maple syrup
for what you think. We gotta go.

And what did I think we were
using the maple syrup for?

Like who...

Oh!

I get it.

Hey. Huh? Ooh!

[chuckles] Look what I found

when I was dropping some stuff
off at the resale shop.

It's the Almost Charades
board game.

Like we used to play
on family game night. Ooh!

Honey, I got rid of that thing
for a reason.

Family game night
nearly destroyed this family.

Don't you remember?
The fighting, the cheating,

the crying
when someone lost?

[scoffs]

But that's because
the kids were young.

I think they're old enough
to handle it now.

They weren't the ones
who were crying.

Come on.
Let's play tonight. Please.

Please.
Please, please, please.

All right, fine,
we'll play.

But you know what?
We're gonna play on the terrace.

- Fine.
- Why do we have to play there?

Because that way
we'll be out in front

where all the neighbors
can see.

We'll be shamed
into behaving well.

And also,
when stuff starts to fly,

my ceiling won't get stained
with guacamole.

Oh, good.

I thought that was something
seeping down from Max's room.

That is totally
coming from my room.

So, how was the date?

What do you think?

I think I thought of a way

for you to break with her
at the ball game. Check it out.

After a batter strikes out,
you look at her and you say,

"Strike three!
You're out!"

"No, seriously,
get outta here."

I kissed her.

Oh. You wanted her
to break up with you.

No, I was leaning in to tell her
we weren't in a relationship.

Then, of course, they put us
up on the big screen.

The whole crowd kept chanting,
"Kiss, kiss, kiss, you guys!"

"Kiss, kiss!"
And I choked under the pressure.

Well, lucky for you,

I still know a way
for you to get rid of her.

Look, Dad's forcing us to have
family game night tonight.

You know us. The cops'll be
there an hour after we start.

And I'll invite Daphne
to come.

She'll see how mean and hurtful
and cheating us Russos can be,

she'll bail
and never wanna see me again.

That's a great idea.

I was thinking we could plant
some of Mom's jewelry on her

and get her arrested.

I gotta call Daphne right now.
This is a great idea.

I know.
Hey, You should've started

coming to me for advice
years ago, huh?

I didn't come. You were
standing there when I walked in.

And you talked.
That's good enough for me.

So Justin told me
all about his new girlfriend.

Yeah, he and I are tight now.
Close buds. Tells me everything.

Really?
Justin has a girlfriend?

Mm-hm, yeah.
Her name's Daphne.

He also told me that
he's bringing her home tonight.

Wow. He must really like her
if he's bringing her to meet us.

Does he know
it's family game night?

He knows.

Well, we'll just have to be
on our best behavior, then.

Theresa, we will be friendly
and cordial and polite.

Good sportsmanship
is the order of the day.

Mm. That is a great idea, too.

- There was another idea?
- Justin had a great idea.

But this one's great too.
I say go with it.

Here's one that might work.

Hair brainium scheme changium.

That's not it.

Alex, why do I still have
your body, except with my hair?

Oh, it smells like a waterfall.

OK, what about this one?

After all that's been said,
we wanna switch back our heads.

- [Alex's voice] Oh, I did it.
- [Harper's voice]
Not exactly, Alex.

I'd still like
my body back.

You don't sound
like yourself.

You sound like me.

OK. Stop yelling.

Voices right noises.

[with Alex's voice]
Testing, one, two, three.

Again, I'd like
my body back, Alex.

I'm on it. I'm on it.
We can do this, Harper.

This has all been a pain.
We wanna switch back our brains.

[as Alex] Wow! There's
a lot of pressure in here.

Waterfall.

[hollow sound]

Oh, my goodness.
Now you have no brain.

[as Harper] Actually, my brain's
inside your head, Alex.

[as Alex] Ow! All these brains
are pounding against my skull.

Oh, no wonder smart people
are no fun.

- Pretty...
- No!

OK, Harper. Maybe I should
just try another spell.

[as Harper] Let's see. My brain
is crammed inside your head,

and I'm standing over there
looking lost,

like my dad
when I talk about the Internet.

Sure, try another spell.
How could it get any worse?

[as Alex] OK, Harper,
I know we can do this

if we just
put our heads together.

Well, our heads
can't get much more together

and that doesn't seem
to be helping.

OK, um... Maybe we should
just go to Justin.

Really? Because I suggested
that five minutes ago

before you did all this.

OK, OK.

But what do we do with
that thing while we're gone?

[clears throat] Um...

"That thing" is me.

How about we tuck me into bed
so I'll go to sleep?

Looks like someone's
using their noggin.

- Nap time!
- See?

Lawn mower.

Oh, you don't know
what this thing wants. No!

Aren't you getting dressed
for your date?

These are
my good flip-flops.

They match the sweater.

OK. Well, we're all
very excited

that Daphne's coming over
for family game night.

We'll do anything to help
this romance flourish.

Ooh, Theresa, why don't you
make your deviled eggs?

And put a dozen aside
for me.

No, no. You guys
just be yourselves, OK?

I want Daphne to get to know
you guys for who you are.

This night should be like
any other family game night.

Alex, you're just in time
for family game night.

Sorry.
I don't play games.

Especially ones that end
like crime-scene tape.

[as Harper] Oh, let's play,
Alex. I love games.

Harper, stop talking. We gotta
get Justin and get out of here.

I'm sorry.
I can't help it.

Every time you have a thought,
it comes out your mouth.

You can be so bossy.
Oh, I didn't mean to say that.

Harper! Justin.

What are you doing?

[whispers] I have two brains
inside my head.

If you're trying
to psyche me out,

you have to do
better than that.

No, no, no.
I'm serious.

I mixed up a bunch of spells

and now I got Harper's brain
inside my head.

I can prove it.
Just talk to Harper's brain.

OK, let me...

Let me see.

Hello, Harper's brain.

You're staring at me with those
eyes. I think I might faint.

Definitely Harper's brain
all right.

How'd this happen?

I did the body switching spell
and I can't undo it.

Body switching?
Don't you read the wizard memos?

That spell's full
of glitches.

- What's wrong with it?
- I think you just found out.

[doorbell rings]

Daphne's here.

You three should really get
to know each other. Stay put.

Fine. If you're not gonna help
me, I'm getting out of here.

I'm going downstairs
to get cold cuts.

Come on in,
Daphne.

Teen Girlmagazine says, "Never
meet the family empty-handed,"

so I brought cold cuts.

Terrific. Now Alex doesn't have
to go downstairs.

She can stay up here
and mingle.

Really?
My family owns a deli shop.

[as Harper] Alex,
we have guests. Be polite.

[grunts]

Um, hi.

Welcome, Daphne.
So nice to meet you.

Welcome to our
normal home.

I'm Justin's calm,
level-headed dad.

Yeah, until the game starts.

Let's all go out
onto the terrace

in full view of the neighbors
where everyone can see us.

Let's do it. I love charades.
But my parents won't play.

They say their whole life
is a charade.

Harper, we can't play charades
with two brains.

My parents will know
something's up.

Oh! You figured out
how to move my feet.

Your brain has a short attention
span. It's easy to overpower.

No! I am not playing...

No!

Now, remember,
this is Almost Charades.

You can only write down books,
movies or television shows.

Oh, it's so great

to play a civilized game
of charades with the family.

That's right.
We're out here playing charades.

In a friendly, family way.

[woman] Quiet down there,
ya nut!

All right,
let's divide into teams.

Team one: Justin, me,
and the lovely Daphne.

Team two: Jerry, Max, and Alex.

Yeah!

Whatever you say, honey.

Dad, those teams aren't fair.

Aren't you gonna accuse Mom
of stacking things in her favor

then go off and pout
like you usually do?

Whatever your mom wants,
I'm happy to comply.

I just want our guest, Daphne,
to have a good time.

Oh! Justin, your parents
make me feel like

I'm already part
of the family.

We're so compatible.

Alex, get out here!

Wow, Harper,
you're strong.

Daphne, you should really
get to know Alex.

She's got a lot going on
up here.

Hey, Harper.
Come on out.

Hello, Daphne.

If you don't stay away
from Justin, I'm going to...

Eat more of this. Mmmm.

Why, thank you. Justin, your
sister's so sweet and hungry.

You haven't really seen
the real her.

OK, let the games begin.

Oh, this is a good one.
I'm ready.

Two words. First word.

- One syllable.
- You got it!

- Who wrote down "One syllable"?
- I did.

You're supposed
to write titles.

That is infuriating,
isn't it, Dad?

Doesn't it make you
just wanna throw a table?

I'm sure there's a book
titledOne Syllable

out there somewhere.

Excellent guess, Daphne.

She's smart and beautiful,
just like your mother.

Aw! This is the best
family game night ever.

What a loving family.

I guess it's true, "The family
that plays together..."

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
"Stays together." Alex's turn!

Oh, yay! Me, first. Me, first.
Can I go first, pretty please?

- Uh, OK.
- Uh, really?

Harper, I hate charades.

Hate charades?
That's like hating sunshine.

OK!

Movie!

[Max] Three words.

[Jerry] Foot.

- Sock.
- Foot. Bunion foot!

- Foot!
- Foot! Foot!

- I... Ball of your foot.
- Ball of your foot.

[Max] Oh, um...

Foot. Calluses.
Callus, ball, foot.

- That's three words.
- For the love! It's "football."

A movie. Football.
Friday Night Lights.

Yes! You got it.

Wait a minute.
You said, "Football."

You talked. You're disqualified.
She's disqualified.

- Good. I'm out of here.
- Alex, you're not disqualified.

I got that fair and square.

Your mother is stacking
the teams against us!

That's what
I'm talking about.

What?! What?
You heard her. She cheated.

And I'm livid! They should both
be disqualified. Out of here!

Ho! This if totally bogus.

Dad's pouting
'cause he lost a fight again.

No! We are not fighting. That's
one thing we're not doing.

We're not fighting,
so stop fighting!

The neighbors can hear us!

[woman] That's it!
I'm calling the cops!

- Karate Kid!
- We are not fighting!

We are trying
to make a good impression!

I think your family
should keep it down.

Nah, they're good.

Da-ta!

Oh, no!

Lollipop.

Alex, what did you do
to Harper?

Uh, nothing. See, this is why
I should have tied you up.

That's a great idea. Someone
should have tied you up.

What's wrong
with these people?

Nothing. This is just
a typical family game night.

You call this normal?

Yes. You should get
used to it,

now that we're
in this relationship.

Oh, no, no, no.
I am way over my head

with this toxic family dynamic.

And next time you meet a girl,
Justin, do not bring her home!

Please, brain, leave, brain.

Oh, really? It's just that easy?

And polite. No wonder you
couldn't figure out the spell.

Please, brain,
leave, brain.

Oh, I'm back.

It feels good.

Yes.

Feels awesome
having my skull back.

Every time I kept looking
out my eyes,

your brain
kept leaning in going,

"Let me see! Let me see!"

Well, I didn't wanna
look in your brain.

There's a lot of scary stuff
in there.

Thank you.