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1
00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:04,470
[MUSIC - MARKY DESADE, "PISTOL
WHIPPED"]
2
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:17,400
(SINGING) Got a
pistol in my pocket.
3
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,380
Now baby, you should knock it.
4
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:24,850
Put your finger on the trigger,
feel it getting bigger.
5
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,340
Move in a little
closer, let me stick
6
00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:30,810
it in your holster [INAUDIBLE].
7
00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:33,300
She's my bullet.
8
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,780
Got a pistol in my pocket.
9
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:38,770
And baby, you can knock it.
10
00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:42,410
It's got a 12 inch
[INAUDIBLE] and you
11
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,740
can make it [INAUDIBLE].
12
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:51,690
Blow me away, just
[INAUDIBLE] She's my bullet.
13
00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:55,660
[INAUDIBLE] Levi.
14
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:59,140
You can feel my [INAUDIBLE] 45.
15
00:01:04,610 --> 00:01:08,090
Got a pistol in my pocket.
16
00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:11,570
And baby, you can knock it.
17
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:15,050
[INAUDIBLE] cover, but don't
[INAUDIBLE] your mother.
18
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:26,480
[INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] Well,
you better start stripping
19
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,460
or you're gonna get in the way.
20
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,200
Listen to this one.
21
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,420
Prison pen pal, number 22,
desperately seeking cell mate.
22
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,510
My last man done me wrong.
23
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:42,730
Meet me on conjugal visit
day and do me right.
24
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:43,430
[LAUGHS]
25
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:44,260
No, no, no.
26
00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:45,150
This one's even better.
27
00:01:45,150 --> 00:01:47,890
Incarcerated in Seattle
seeks single white inmate
28
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,720
for meetings on the sly.
29
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,840
I'll be the dustpan,
you be the broom.
30
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:52,660
[LAUGHS]
31
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:55,110
Give me that.
32
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:58,390
I didn't leave this
around for your amusement.
33
00:01:58,390 --> 00:01:59,690
You mean it's yours?
34
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,490
Honestly, Miss
Devonshire, I knew
35
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,010
you are anxious to
go out on a date,
36
00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:05,190
but I had no idea you
were so desperate.
37
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:05,890
Yeah.
38
00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:07,460
If you're looking your
a night out on the town,
39
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,340
I know a great biker
bar you might like.
40
00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,270
Shut up, you two.
41
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:14,340
I'm not looking for
a mate in this seedy,
42
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,570
sleazy, and degrading magazine.
43
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,590
I write an advice column.
44
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:22,400
You write an advice column?
45
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,470
Sort of boggles
the mind, doesn't it?
46
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:30,000
Oh, just leave me in
peace and let me do my work.
47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,130
Dear Miss Devonshire,
now that I'm a prisoner,
48
00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:35,290
I have some time on my hands.
49
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:36,700
No kidding.
50
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,110
I'd like to work on
my weight problem.
51
00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:43,690
What can I do to rid myself
of all these unwanted pounds?
52
00:02:43,690 --> 00:02:44,790
Signed, Susan Ebert.
53
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:53,220
Well, dear Sue E.
54
00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:55,200
Mail call!
55
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,190
[CHEERING]
56
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,110
So.
57
00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:12,620
Malathian.
58
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:17,080
Breaking out of prison, robbing
recycling centers, crashing
59
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,190
an Earth Day celebration.
60
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:24,670
Maybe a little voltage will
bring you back to your senses.
61
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,500
[ZAPPING]
62
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,130
Well, she got one letter.
63
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:31,370
Leave it over there.
64
00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,420
I'm busy.
65
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,680
Get me down off of here.
66
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,000
This is unconstitutional.
67
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,440
Shut up.
68
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,820
[ZAPPING]
69
00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:45,680
Ha!
70
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:46,380
Look!
71
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:49,080
The new issue of Prison
Romance came today!
72
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:49,810
Great.
73
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,650
I just love that advice column.
74
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:52,920
Read it to me.
75
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,060
Dear Miss
Devonshire, my daughter
76
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,460
just turned 14 and
wants to wear make up.
77
00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:59,340
What should I do?
78
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,460
What did she say?
79
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:03,370
If I had a 14-year-old
daughter who wanted to wear
80
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:06,700
makeup, I'd beat her
unmercifully with a coat hanger
81
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,190
until she learned her lesson.
82
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:11,320
She really tells
it like it is.
83
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,290
Get to the next one.
84
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:16,260
[ZAPPING]
85
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,200
Oh, great.
86
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,200
Looks like we fried another one.
87
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,690
Can somebody get the
backup generator on?
88
00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:29,440
Hello?
Hello?
89
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:39,440
Oh my god.
90
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,500
You've nuked her like
a microwave dinner.
91
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,800
Wait a minute.
92
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,970
Something's not right here.
93
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:51,440
[EVIL LAUGHING]
94
00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,350
Oh, help me!
95
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,330
Get her off!
96
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,290
Sound the alarm!
97
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:19,650
VOICEOVER: Dear
Malathian, I've never
98
00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,650
written to a girl
behind bars before,
99
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,040
but there is a first
time for everything.
100
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,000
[CACKLING]
101
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,440
[MUSIC PLAYING]
102
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,970
Give me your clothes.
103
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:06,460
You've got to be kidding.
104
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,470
Oh!
105
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:14,400
[SCREAMS]
106
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:23,040
[INAUDIBLE]
107
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:38,670
[INAUDIBLE]
108
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:39,660
Help me!
109
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,660
She's fucking crazy!
110
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:44,640
[SCREAMS]
111
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,630
Have a drink on me, honey.
112
00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:51,120
[MUSIC PLAYING]
113
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:15,110
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
114
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:20,020
Dear Malathian, even though
I haven't heard from you yet,
115
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:23,130
I'm writing you again to
let you know how anxious I
116
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:26,910
am to meet you someday.
117
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:29,770
I'm looking for
a wholesome girl.
118
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:31,220
The kind I could
take home to Mama.
119
00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:47,090
Oh!
120
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,540
I got your letter.
121
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,620
Don't be shy.
122
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:03,140
I'm just having a bad hair day.
123
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:06,820
It said in the magazine you
weren't eligible for parole
124
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,350
for seven more years.
125
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:09,470
I like to take things slow.
126
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,960
I like to take the
pedal to the medal.
127
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,950
[CACKLES]
128
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:43,370
Malathian's escaped again.
129
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:45,950
And I thought we'd never
have to deal with her again.
130
00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:49,820
Now she's loose in our
city, doing who knows what?
131
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,610
That oversexed,
homicidal fiend!
132
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:55,760
Just the thought of the
damage she's capable of.
133
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,560
Oh my god.
Look at Candy.
134
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,420
She's paralyzed in fear.
135
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:05,580
I'm OK.
136
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:09,700
I'm just having my own
personal flashback.
137
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,500
What is this city coming to?
138
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:15,410
I mean, an innocent hooker is
beat senseless at Club Scum
139
00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:18,810
just so Malathian can
get a new set of clothes.
140
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:19,570
Now, now, sir.
141
00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:21,550
Calm down.
142
00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:24,460
Calm down.
143
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:26,140
She's destroyed
my favorite bar.
144
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:28,480
I don't feel safe going
out at night anymore.
145
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,890
I mean, I could have been
in that club last night.
146
00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:33,570
Candy, you are a cop.
147
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:36,160
If you'd been there, you
could have arrested her.
148
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:36,930
Oh, right.
149
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:38,460
You know, if somebody
went after the clothes
150
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:40,450
I was wearing, I would
put up a real fight.
151
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,740
Especially for my
leather mini skirt.
152
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:44,300
A leather mini skirt?
153
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,580
Gee, could I borrow
it some time?
154
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:47,640
[GIGGLING]
155
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,080
Girls, as usual, you're
missing the issue at hand.
156
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,110
Sorry.
157
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:57,670
Hey, I know the manager of
the shop next door to Club Scum.
158
00:09:57,670 --> 00:09:59,000
I bet she could give
us some information
159
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,470
about what happened last night.
160
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,440
Well, very good, Samantha!
161
00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:09,220
And to think, Miss
Devonshire, you
162
00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,730
didn't want her on the force.
163
00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:14,130
[MUSIC PLAYING]
164
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,850
What a great car!
165
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:27,930
I got a really good deal
on it at a police auction.
166
00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:30,000
It was used for
drive by shootings
167
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,750
so when I drive through
certain neighborhoods,
168
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:33,550
talk people duck when
they see me coming.
169
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,040
Oh, cool!
170
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,020
[MUSIC PLAYING]
171
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:29,220
I'll be with you in a minute.
172
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:30,210
Ow!
173
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:33,130
Hurry up with that tattoo,
you incompetent bimbo.
174
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:34,270
I'm almost finished, honey.
175
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,750
Just keep your shirt on.
176
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,580
Ow.
177
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,630
Hand me that mirror.
178
00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:55,630
Let me take a look at it.
179
00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:56,360
Here you go, sister.
180
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,310
Oh my god!
181
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,650
What have you done to
me, you full bitch?
182
00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:09,810
I ordered number 30, a petite
rose on my right derriere.
183
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:10,510
Oh.
184
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:13,170
You should have spoken
up more clearly.
185
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:16,560
I thought you said
13, skull and flames.
186
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,550
You ignorant bitch!
187
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,470
You've scarred me for life!
188
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:25,520
Quick, get me to
a tattoo remover.
189
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,640
I have to have this
monstrosity taken off my body.
190
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,400
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
191
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,210
You owe me $50 cash
for that piece of art.
192
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:36,480
Damn it, you're not
getting a penny from me.
193
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,730
I should have my attorney shut
you down for your stupidity.
194
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:42,400
The only stupidity here is
yours, for thinking you're
195
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,580
leaving without paying me.
196
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,370
So cough it up now.
197
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,810
I wanted a rose, not
your mother's face.
198
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:53,340
Well, maybe we
should take it out back
199
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,800
to the complaint department.
200
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,510
Maybe we could
work something out.
201
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,000
I'd like that.
202
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:05,510
Hey, there.
203
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:06,680
I'll cut it off.
204
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,700
Another satisfied customer.
205
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,400
So, Samantha.
206
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,910
Long time, no see.
207
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,250
What can I do for you?
208
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,570
Listen, were you open
last night when that riot
209
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:21,450
was going on next door?
- Yeah.
210
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:22,770
I heard the whole thing.
211
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:24,350
If I wasn't in the
middle of work,
212
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,440
I would have gone over
there and joined the fun.
213
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,990
Sounds of bottles crashing
is music to my ears.
214
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,570
You know, I feel the
same way when I hear
215
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:33,570
a construction worker's drill.
216
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,890
Did you see a girl with green
hair leave here last night?
217
00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:43,050
Yeah.
She was real cool.
218
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,330
Um, well, do you
know where she went?
219
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:48,130
No.
I think she was on foot.
220
00:13:48,130 --> 00:13:50,640
Couldn't get too far in
this neighborhood, though.
221
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,250
I think she was having
trouble starting her car.
222
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,990
Heard an engine
revving all night.
223
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:57,690
Well, thanks for the help.
224
00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:58,770
No sweat.
225
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:01,710
Hey, you want to take advantage
of my two for one sale?
226
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:02,930
Got a special on roses.
227
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:08,210
Um, no thanks.
228
00:14:11,990 --> 00:14:14,990
Now you're gonna get it!
229
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,480
Hey, come on!
230
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,480
Let go!
231
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,980
[INAUDIBLE] you skank!
232
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:30,460
[CHOKING]
233
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,580
Well, Malathian must
be in the vicinity.
234
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,650
I mean, what are we going to do?
235
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,480
Go door to door
until we find her?
236
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,640
Gee, I never thought
I'd have to work so hard.
237
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:56,090
[DRILLING]
- So.
238
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,690
What do you do for
fun around here?
239
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,630
Fun?
240
00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:13,200
You heard me.
241
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,440
Well, I fix cars all
day and I read magazines
242
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,450
about women on motorcycles.
243
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:22,110
And I collect furniture that
belonged to people who died.
244
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:23,530
And--
245
00:15:23,530 --> 00:15:24,300
Enough.
246
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,910
I get the picture.
247
00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:27,910
I have a question for you.
248
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,580
What's that?
What
249
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:34,420
Were you in prison for?
250
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,530
Well, it all
started when someone
251
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:43,410
said to me, let me
get a closer look
252
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,930
at that winning lottery ticket.
253
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,250
Oh.
254
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,990
I see.
255
00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:59,870
Well, so, this is
all you've got, huh?
256
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:01,730
Well, not everything.
257
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:05,860
Um, my parents left
me with a trust fund.
258
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,170
Mm!
259
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,060
I like it better already.
260
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,900
How much?
261
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,620
I get $15 a month for
the rest of my life.
262
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,110
Great.
263
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,480
I can really pick em.
264
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:27,000
So I got an idea.
265
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,330
Why don't we go out tonight?
266
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:31,300
Well, we can't.
267
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,970
None of these cars run.
268
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:37,460
Well, this is
getting better already.
269
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,260
I'll see you in a few hours.
270
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:41,790
Well, where are you going?
271
00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:44,100
I have a score to settle.
272
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,330
But don't worry.
273
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,320
I'll be back.
274
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,800
[MUSIC PLAYING]
275
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,560
Remember me?
276
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,840
Malathian.
277
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,170
We've been looking for you!
278
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,320
I thought a Wanted
poster was the only place
279
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:19,100
I'd ever see your face again.
- Shut up, you fool.
280
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,700
Did you really think
that a prison cell
281
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,890
could hold me for very long?
282
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:25,110
How much more
government funding
283
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:28,310
is it going to take
to rehabilitate you?
284
00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:31,480
Will you ever work for
an honest paycheck?
285
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,670
You're really starting
to get on my nerves.
286
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:38,010
This will double
your prison sentence.
287
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:42,520
Not to mention the black mark
I've already put on your file.
288
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,210
Yeah?
289
00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:46,200
Well, you should know
better than to park your car
290
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,870
without using the club!
291
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,360
[MUSIC PLAYING]
292
00:17:58,650 --> 00:17:59,350
Oh!
293
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:05,830
Help!
294
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,830
Girls!
Girls?
295
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,360
Miss Devonshire,
are you all right?
296
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,550
Yes, but you're
stepping on my hand.
297
00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:25,270
Ugh.
298
00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:31,400
This is the worst thing that's
happened to me since that time
299
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,010
I walked into the wrong
bar and got a crash course
300
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:36,240
in alternative lifestyles.
- Yeah.
301
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,340
Malathian's only
been out one day
302
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:40,460
and she's already
assaulted one of our men.
303
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,800
We're going to be the
laughingstock of the city
304
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,620
if we don't catch her, and fast.
305
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:47,210
But we ran out of leads.
306
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,920
No we haven't.
307
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:53,180
Tonight, Miss Devonshire and
I are going to go undercover.
308
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:54,920
We're going to infiltrate
the soft, seamy
309
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,790
underbelly of the city until
we find her whereabouts.
310
00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:58,860
Or else.
311
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,350
Commissioner!
312
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:01,700
You and me?
313
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,810
Undercover?
314
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,350
Together?
315
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:06,090
I never knew you cared.
316
00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:08,500
More than you know,
Miss Devonshire.
317
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,390
Are you sure
that's a wise choice?
318
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:13,100
I mean, Miss Devonshire isn't
the youngest one on the force
319
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,880
and she can't be too
quick on her feet.
320
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,660
Yeah, and going
undercover as low life
321
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:18,520
comes much more
naturally to some of us.
322
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,530
Yeah.
323
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:20,720
You two mind
your own business.
324
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,680
So, commissioner, what did
you have in mind for tonight?
325
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,020
Disguises, Miss Devonshire.
326
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:28,180
Disguises so perfect, we
will fit in with the lowlifes
327
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,440
of this city.
328
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,320
[MUSIC PLAYING]
329
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:44,980
Oh, sir.
330
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,810
I haven't worn an
outfit like this since
331
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:50,190
my first undercover assignment.
332
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,170
Oh, I remember it well.
333
00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:57,760
I was a model for a deck
of naughty playing cards.
334
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:02,130
Oh, if only those other officers
had made the arrest in time.
335
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:03,850
[SIGHS]
336
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:07,250
I'll never forget the day the
local grocer said to me, hey!
337
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,270
You're the girl on
the three of hearts!
338
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:12,110
Miss Devonshire, be quiet!
Don't look now.
339
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:12,900
Don't look now.
340
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:13,990
I'm afraid they've spotted us!
341
00:20:13,990 --> 00:20:16,310
Quick, look inconspicuous.
342
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:26,570
Sir, I had no idea
you felt that way.
343
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,800
It's all in the line
of duty, Miss Devonshire.
344
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,410
I trust that my boldness
didn't offend you.
345
00:20:31,410 --> 00:20:33,020
Not at all.
346
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:36,110
By the way, may I have my
chewing gum back, please?
347
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:36,810
Oh.
348
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,920
Oh, commissioner.
349
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,270
What's this I feel?
350
00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:45,700
That?
351
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:49,820
Well, that's just a thermos
of hot coffee I brought along.
352
00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:52,190
Oh.
353
00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:55,100
I'd like you to know I
really enjoy the quality
354
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,860
time we spend together.
355
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:59,810
Thank you, Miss Devonshire.
356
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:02,440
Now, if you don't
mind, would you please
357
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,040
stop fondling my flashlight?
358
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,090
Oh.
359
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,900
Sorry.
360
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,840
[MUSIC PLAYING]
361
00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:16,770
CANDY (ON WALKIE TALKIE):
Come in, Samantha.
362
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:17,760
Come in!
363
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,740
What, Candy?
364
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:19,720
What?
365
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:20,130
CANDY (ON WALKIE
TALKIE): I wanted to see
366
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:21,030
if you had any luck so far.
367
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,660
No, and I won't as long
as I'm talking to you.
368
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:33,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
369
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,470
Hi, there.
370
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,270
Uh, hello.
371
00:21:37,270 --> 00:21:41,960
Do you have any time to spend?
372
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,940
Sure.
373
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:46,890
Do you have any
money to spend?
374
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:50,440
- Let me see.
- Come on.
375
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,760
These tricks aren't for kids.
376
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,840
I've got $5.
377
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,870
$5?
378
00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:56,980
$5?
379
00:21:56,980 --> 00:22:00,520
You couldn't get
in my purse for $5.
380
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,570
I've got another--
381
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,950
another $3.
382
00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:04,650
Listen.
383
00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:05,980
I think I'm a little
out of your league.
384
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:08,880
But why don't you
make me a little offer
385
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,200
and we can work something out?
386
00:22:13,870 --> 00:22:16,690
Well, I've got another $40.
387
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:20,530
But I'm saving that for the
new Space Invaders video game.
388
00:22:20,530 --> 00:22:21,230
Look, man.
389
00:22:21,230 --> 00:22:22,970
You're really
getting on my nerves.
390
00:22:22,970 --> 00:22:24,530
I mean, what would
you rather do?
391
00:22:24,530 --> 00:22:31,000
Go around the universe
or go around the world?
392
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,390
Can you give you a
minute to think about that?
393
00:22:34,390 --> 00:22:35,330
Forget it.
394
00:22:35,330 --> 00:22:36,730
You know what?
395
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,510
You couldn't handle the ride.
- Wait a minute.
396
00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:39,420
Don't go.
397
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:40,650
I mean, I thought
I could afford you.
398
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:41,980
You look so cheap.
399
00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:44,720
What did you say, you nerd?
400
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,720
Nothing.
401
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,570
You know, you should be
glad that I've got scruples,
402
00:22:47,570 --> 00:22:48,700
or I'd belt you one.
403
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:52,710
Except it's a parole violation.
404
00:23:02,430 --> 00:23:07,000
I'm telling you, he was
this close to proposing to me.
405
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,500
You're sure you're not
jumping to conclusions?
406
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:11,760
I'm positive.
407
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,310
First, we exchanged chewing gum.
408
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:16,260
And then, oh, he
kept pretending this
409
00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:17,340
was part of the assignment.
410
00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,380
He kept snapping my bra straps.
411
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:23,120
Oh, well that got
me all goose pimply.
412
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,310
That sounds serious.
413
00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:28,490
Then what's stopping
him from proposing to you?
414
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,240
I don't know.
415
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,100
I think maybe he's just
a little tongue tied.
416
00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:36,250
You write that advice column.
417
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,350
What would you tell
a reader to do?
418
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,420
I'd tell them to
make the first move,
419
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:44,660
even if you make a fool of
yourself in the process.
420
00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:46,740
Then go for it!
421
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,940
Yeah.
422
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:52,280
[MUSIC PLAYING]
423
00:24:07,470 --> 00:24:08,940
[GRUNTS]
424
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,800
Commissioner,
will you marry me?
425
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,160
You heard me, yes or no?
426
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,110
Well, Miss Devonshire, will
you promise to cook my food
427
00:24:18,110 --> 00:24:20,740
and darn my socks and
take out the garbage
428
00:24:20,740 --> 00:24:22,330
and do all the other
wifely you duties,
429
00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:23,860
just like a third
world bride who'd
430
00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:26,590
do anything, no matter how
degrading, for its citizenship?
431
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:31,130
Just as I've been doing in
my dreams for all these years.
432
00:24:31,130 --> 00:24:32,420
Hmm.
433
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:34,360
Well, then yes, Miss Devonshire.
434
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,970
I'll marry you.
435
00:24:36,970 --> 00:24:39,310
Could you please
get off my lap now?
436
00:24:47,270 --> 00:24:49,280
My hat, Miss Devonshire.
437
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,990
Oh, sorry.
438
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:52,760
We're engaged.
439
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,370
Can you believe it?
440
00:24:54,370 --> 00:24:57,390
Congratulations,
Miss Devonshire.
441
00:24:57,390 --> 00:24:59,220
Thank you, Candy.
442
00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:01,350
After all these years.
443
00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:02,790
It's about time, too.
444
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:06,660
She's not getting any
younger, you know.
445
00:25:06,660 --> 00:25:10,070
Thank you for that
vote of confidence.
446
00:25:10,070 --> 00:25:13,180
So, when's the big day?
447
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,430
Oh, we hadn't
thought about it yet.
448
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:20,920
Well, now, now, I have
the perfect place for it.
449
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,560
The police firing range.
450
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,930
The firing range?
451
00:25:25,930 --> 00:25:28,140
What kind of place is
that for a wedding?
452
00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:29,760
I'm not getting married
where the officers
453
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,880
have target practice.
454
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,610
Now, be reasonable.
455
00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:35,380
It's free.
456
00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:37,680
Why don't you let us
organize the wedding for you?
457
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,310
Yeah, let us do it.
458
00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:40,660
Now, I think the
local park would
459
00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:43,630
be a much better location.
460
00:25:43,630 --> 00:25:45,010
But I like the firing range.
461
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:47,820
What if somebody
takes a shot at us?
462
00:25:47,820 --> 00:25:50,380
Well, they won't if
we have it at the park.
463
00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:51,940
I was talking about the park.
464
00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:55,110
That's in a bad part of town.
465
00:25:55,110 --> 00:25:56,510
Let us worry about it.
466
00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:58,260
Yeah, just leave
everything to us.
467
00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:00,690
We could be your flower girls.
468
00:26:00,690 --> 00:26:04,180
Girls, what do you know
about organizing anything?
469
00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:07,770
Well, for instance, who
will be the best man?
470
00:26:07,770 --> 00:26:10,020
My cousin got married
in a nudist colony.
471
00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:12,180
It was easy to
pick the best man.
472
00:26:12,180 --> 00:26:13,660
[GIGGLES]
473
00:26:13,660 --> 00:26:14,380
That's enough.
474
00:26:18,530 --> 00:26:21,460
Speaking of best men,
I have someone in mind.
475
00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:22,840
My son from my first marriage.
476
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,320
Why, he'd be just perfect.
477
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,600
You were married before, and
you never mentioned it to me?
478
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,340
Honestly, Miss
Devonshire, I mean,
479
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,910
who our age wouldn't by now
at least have been married
480
00:26:32,910 --> 00:26:34,360
and have a couple of kids?
481
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,210
I mean, I mean, who'd
save themselves this long?
482
00:26:37,210 --> 00:26:40,210
Oh, I see your point.
483
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:41,660
In fact, why don't
we meet him now?
484
00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:43,640
Irwin, Irwin!
Come over here.
485
00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:48,270
Just a minute.
486
00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:49,930
Somebody's resisting arrest.
487
00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,880
I remember you.
488
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:04,990
You called me cheap.
489
00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:10,770
- You called me a nerd.
- Now, now.
490
00:27:10,770 --> 00:27:12,910
This is no way to make
first introductions.
491
00:27:12,910 --> 00:27:14,410
This little weasel
tried to pick me up
492
00:27:14,410 --> 00:27:16,240
last night while
I was undercover.
493
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,040
Oh, really?
494
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,130
I was under cover myself.
495
00:27:20,130 --> 00:27:22,090
I thought you were
a real hooker.
496
00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:23,410
Oh.
497
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:26,170
So that part about you saving
your money for a video game,
498
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:27,970
that was a joke, right?
- No.
499
00:27:27,970 --> 00:27:31,150
I really am saving my
money for a video game.
500
00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,550
Figures.
501
00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:34,880
Miss Devonshire,
I have a great idea.
502
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,440
Why don't you let us put
on a bridal shower for you?
503
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,500
Well, it does sound tempting.
504
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:42,960
Oh, I can hardly wait.
505
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,640
It's for women only.
506
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,960
Oh.
507
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,440
Well, I have to work
late tomorrow night.
508
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:53,540
So why don't you girls go
ahead and go for it, huh?
509
00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:55,310
Oh, all right.
510
00:27:55,310 --> 00:27:57,790
Yes.
511
00:27:57,790 --> 00:28:01,030
Yeah, have fun.
512
00:28:01,030 --> 00:28:05,310
And don't break any laws!
513
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:07,180
Oh, we won't.
514
00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:09,790
I may have to read up on
what drugs have been legalized,
515
00:28:09,790 --> 00:28:12,070
though.
516
00:28:12,070 --> 00:28:17,460
[CRICKETS]
517
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:20,890
[DOORBELL]
518
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:28,240
[RECORD SCREECHES]
519
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,730
[MUSIC PLAYING]
520
00:28:30,730 --> 00:28:32,860
I know she's going to
love my friends present.
521
00:28:32,860 --> 00:28:35,370
I found this great
lingerie at half off.
522
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:37,150
Which half did you buy?
523
00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:39,080
[LAUGHS]
524
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,630
She's going to
like mine the best.
525
00:28:40,630 --> 00:28:41,930
It's rechargeable.
526
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,020
Miss Devonshire.
527
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:50,490
Congratulations.
528
00:28:50,490 --> 00:28:51,400
Oh, Blanche.
529
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,760
You look great!
530
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,150
Wife, mother, executioner.
531
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,280
How do you do it?
532
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,900
Well, I owe it all
to your advice column.
533
00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:00,230
MISS DEVONSHIRE: Oh,
you really like it?
534
00:29:00,230 --> 00:29:02,250
Oh, you're not just saying that?
535
00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:04,990
We really love
those on the job tips.
536
00:29:04,990 --> 00:29:06,720
Wait till next month's column.
537
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,140
101 uses for the billy club!
538
00:29:09,140 --> 00:29:12,440
Ooh, I can't wait!
539
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,660
Come on, let's get
this party rolling!
540
00:29:28,690 --> 00:29:30,260
Stupid cackling hens.
541
00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:32,660
They make me sick.
542
00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:34,990
Should we be here?
543
00:29:34,990 --> 00:29:37,890
Just be quiet and
do what I tell you.
544
00:29:37,890 --> 00:29:39,340
I have work to do.
545
00:29:39,340 --> 00:29:41,740
I hope she likes my present.
- What is it?
546
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:46,230
It's a surprise.
547
00:29:46,230 --> 00:29:49,630
Now, help me find some
of the old hag's outfits.
548
00:29:49,630 --> 00:29:52,420
Here's some.
549
00:29:52,420 --> 00:29:54,320
Ugh.
550
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:55,270
God.
551
00:29:55,270 --> 00:29:57,760
They're all hideous.
552
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,040
This isn't going to be
as easy as I thought.
553
00:30:03,820 --> 00:30:05,170
And help me with some of these.
554
00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,620
There might be something
here that I might like.
555
00:30:07,620 --> 00:30:09,520
[BUZZING]
556
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,100
Leave that one.
It's AC.
557
00:30:11,100 --> 00:30:12,060
I'm DC.
558
00:30:15,390 --> 00:30:17,300
[INAUDIBLE]
559
00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:19,680
- I just love parties.
- Great.
560
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,100
Look at this food.
561
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:26,050
Weenie surprise, three bean
salad, and fruit punch.
562
00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:26,960
Yum.
563
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,930
It's probably left over from
what the inmates had today.
564
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:30,510
Hey, make sure
no one's watching.
565
00:30:30,510 --> 00:30:32,470
I wanna give the
punch a little boost.
566
00:30:32,470 --> 00:30:33,450
Good idea.
567
00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:38,840
[RECORD SKIPS]
568
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:39,820
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
569
00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:41,790
I just love parties.
570
00:30:41,790 --> 00:30:45,300
Especially after a long day
of doing cavity searches.
571
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:48,600
[GIGGLING]
572
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,900
Look, it's the same food
we served in prison today.
573
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:55,010
I can't wait to have
some of that punch.
574
00:30:55,010 --> 00:30:58,460
Um, maybe I'd better
make a fresh batch.
575
00:30:58,460 --> 00:30:59,440
Nonsense.
576
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:04,270
Stop hogging the refreshments.
577
00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:05,710
We're gonna have some fun.
578
00:31:11,970 --> 00:31:14,440
Ahh, that really
wets my whistle.
579
00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:27,920
Your turn, Samantha.
580
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,600
Open the door.
581
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:30,900
Will he be a dream--
582
00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:32,050
Or a dud?
583
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,060
[CACKLING]
584
00:31:38,060 --> 00:31:39,380
It's a dud.
585
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:41,940
You lose again!
586
00:31:41,940 --> 00:31:42,740
This reeks.
587
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:44,790
They should make that
dud look like Irwin.
588
00:31:44,790 --> 00:31:46,570
You know, you really
should be nice to him.
589
00:31:46,570 --> 00:31:47,900
I think he likes you.
590
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:48,740
Oh, great.
591
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:49,480
Just what I need.
592
00:31:54,410 --> 00:31:57,030
You tell can't me
you've never had worse.
593
00:31:57,030 --> 00:31:58,950
Well, actually, I
went out with this guy
594
00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:02,000
once, he used to get so
drunk that he couldn't even--
595
00:32:08,470 --> 00:32:09,820
My turn.
596
00:32:09,820 --> 00:32:12,040
Oh, I bet I get a dream date.
597
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:16,070
Quick.
598
00:32:16,070 --> 00:32:18,100
Make an excuse so we
can get out of here.
599
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:18,800
Just be patient.
600
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,930
I have a little
entertainment on the way.
601
00:32:20,930 --> 00:32:23,550
You do?
Tell me!
602
00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,970
Well, I hired a male
stripper to show up.
603
00:32:25,970 --> 00:32:27,830
His name is Mr. Centaur.
604
00:32:27,830 --> 00:32:31,700
He's a man from the waist up
and a horse from the waist down.
605
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:34,370
I can't wait.
[DOORBELL]
606
00:32:34,370 --> 00:32:35,150
He's here.
607
00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:43,840
[DOORBELL]
608
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:52,210
[LAUGHTER]
609
00:32:52,210 --> 00:32:54,210
[GASP]
610
00:32:54,210 --> 00:32:55,440
Hi, girls.
611
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,270
Who the hell are you?
612
00:32:56,270 --> 00:32:59,170
I hired Mr. Centaur.
613
00:32:59,170 --> 00:33:02,480
I must have had my hearing
aid off when I took your order.
614
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,110
I thought you wanted
me, Miss Century.
615
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:08,930
The world's only
100-year-old stripper.
616
00:33:08,930 --> 00:33:12,300
You senile old fool, can't
you get anything right?
617
00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:17,130
As long as I'm here, you
might as well enjoy the show.
618
00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:19,960
(SINGING) Let
me entertain you.
619
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:34,240
[CRASH]
620
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:35,220
Help me.
621
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,890
I've fallen and I can't get up.
622
00:33:40,930 --> 00:33:42,450
You better get back
to the old folks' home
623
00:33:42,450 --> 00:33:45,010
before they find
out you've gone.
624
00:33:45,010 --> 00:33:48,310
MISS CENTURY: You've got a lot
of nerve, you young tramps.
625
00:33:48,310 --> 00:33:52,280
Men used to stand in line
around the block to see my show.
626
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,550
I don't care what the
cavemen did to see you.
627
00:33:54,550 --> 00:33:57,240
Just go home and
send us Mr. Centuar.
628
00:34:03,650 --> 00:34:04,640
Honestly.
629
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,450
Now my panties are
moist for nothing.
630
00:34:09,410 --> 00:34:12,620
Look what's hiding over there.
631
00:34:12,620 --> 00:34:14,110
It's him.
632
00:34:14,110 --> 00:34:15,680
Come on out, shy boy!
633
00:34:21,170 --> 00:34:22,620
It's not what
you think, honest!
634
00:34:22,620 --> 00:34:23,860
Come right this way.
635
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,690
There's an audience out back
that isn't getting any younger.
636
00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,620
[MUSIC PLAYING]
637
00:34:32,350 --> 00:34:34,020
Ha ha!
Another dud!
638
00:34:38,420 --> 00:34:42,820
[CLEARS THROAT]
639
00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:46,020
What in the world?
640
00:34:46,020 --> 00:34:48,170
This is part of my gift
to you, Miss Devonshire.
641
00:34:48,170 --> 00:34:50,210
What do you want him to do?
642
00:34:50,210 --> 00:34:53,610
- Strip search me.
- No!
643
00:34:53,610 --> 00:34:54,600
Take it off!
644
00:34:58,030 --> 00:35:01,960
[RECORD SCREECHES]
- Hit it.
645
00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:09,330
[MUSIC PLAYING]
646
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,560
Take it off!
647
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,040
[MUSIC PLAYING]
648
00:36:17,890 --> 00:36:19,360
Miss Devonshire, are you OK?
649
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,580
Oh, yes.
650
00:36:23,580 --> 00:36:24,990
I think so.
651
00:36:24,990 --> 00:36:28,220
Oh, but suddenly, I have such
a craving for weenie surprise!
652
00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:38,320
Oh, no you don't.
653
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,220
- I really got to go.
- Nonsense.
654
00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:41,770
Stay for one game.
- I can't.
655
00:36:41,770 --> 00:36:45,580
I won't take no for an answer.
656
00:36:45,580 --> 00:36:49,320
[MUSIC PLAYING]
657
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,910
Right foot, red.
658
00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:54,440
Hey, Samantha, I bet you
can't do this position!
659
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,740
[GRUNTS]
660
00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:57,580
Candy.
661
00:36:57,580 --> 00:37:01,100
Candy, this is a family game.
662
00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:02,510
Your turn, big boy.
663
00:37:02,510 --> 00:37:05,240
I've never played
this game before.
664
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,230
Come on, it's easy.
665
00:37:07,230 --> 00:37:11,530
Left hand, blue.
666
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,460
Watch out, Samantha.
667
00:37:12,460 --> 00:37:13,850
If you slip, you have
to leave the game.
668
00:37:13,850 --> 00:37:15,020
Ow!
Hey!
669
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,090
Better luck next time!
670
00:37:22,790 --> 00:37:23,910
Left foot, yellow.
671
00:37:26,710 --> 00:37:28,230
You heard her.
672
00:37:28,230 --> 00:37:29,220
Middle leg, G spot.
673
00:37:29,220 --> 00:37:31,560
I mean, left leg, yellow.
674
00:37:34,550 --> 00:37:36,190
Candy!
675
00:37:36,190 --> 00:37:37,520
Candy, what?
676
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:41,150
Candy, get up.
- Party poopers.
677
00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:49,370
Hey!
678
00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:51,620
I want to open my presents!
679
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,310
Oh!
680
00:38:03,310 --> 00:38:06,230
Here you go.
681
00:38:06,230 --> 00:38:09,160
I can't wait!
682
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,740
Gift certificate, good
for one free tattoo
683
00:38:11,740 --> 00:38:14,560
at Scabia's Tattoo Parlor?
684
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:15,720
That was mine.
685
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:18,560
Just what I always wanted.
686
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,820
Just don't get a rose.
687
00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:22,180
Open mine next.
688
00:38:22,180 --> 00:38:24,880
I got all the inmates to make
you something in shop class.
689
00:38:29,170 --> 00:38:32,020
How appropriate.
690
00:38:32,020 --> 00:38:33,940
That's not what it
was supposed to say!
691
00:38:36,710 --> 00:38:38,290
Honestly.
692
00:38:38,290 --> 00:38:42,040
Well, maybe this will be
something that I'll like.
693
00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:49,530
[FOGHORN]
694
00:38:53,150 --> 00:38:56,470
Who could have
sent such a gift?
695
00:38:56,470 --> 00:38:58,330
Well, the
psychological profile
696
00:38:58,330 --> 00:39:01,320
is a person who is infantile,
does things on impulse,
697
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:02,770
and has a high sex drive.
698
00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:07,250
Oh, real funny, Candy!
699
00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:09,420
You'd like to give
me a heart attack!
700
00:39:09,420 --> 00:39:11,320
It's not mine, honest!
701
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,560
Look, here's a card.
702
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,790
Give me that.
703
00:39:16,790 --> 00:39:20,320
Dear Miss Devonshire.
704
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:24,050
By the time you read
this, it will be too late.
705
00:39:24,050 --> 00:39:26,110
The commissioner will be mine.
706
00:39:26,110 --> 00:39:27,640
[GASPS]
707
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,150
Signed Malathian.
[GASPS]
708
00:39:31,150 --> 00:39:33,810
Oh my god!
709
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:36,650
I can't get peace of
mind, even in my own home.
710
00:39:39,260 --> 00:39:40,960
Party's over.
711
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,780
I'm going to put a stop to
this before it's too late.
712
00:39:47,450 --> 00:39:50,150
Poor Miss Devonshire.
713
00:39:50,150 --> 00:39:52,480
- Hey, where did your friend go?
- That's odd.
714
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,770
Why did he leave already?
715
00:39:53,770 --> 00:39:56,050
I didn't even get a
chance to pay him.
716
00:39:56,050 --> 00:39:58,900
Oh, the tip he
would have gotten.
717
00:39:58,900 --> 00:40:00,040
Look, I think he dropped this.
718
00:40:02,630 --> 00:40:03,570
Anvil's Garage?
719
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,930
[HEAVY BREATHING]
720
00:40:14,410 --> 00:40:16,890
Heh heh!
721
00:40:16,890 --> 00:40:18,570
Well, now, is this
stack of prisoners
722
00:40:18,570 --> 00:40:20,350
who are ready to be released?
723
00:40:20,350 --> 00:40:23,800
Or are they the ones who are too
dangerous to ever be set free?
724
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,630
Well, it's getting late.
725
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:27,360
Doesn't really matter.
726
00:40:32,860 --> 00:40:34,380
Who's there?
727
00:40:34,380 --> 00:40:36,220
Who is it?
728
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:39,150
[MUSIC PLAYING]
729
00:40:43,060 --> 00:40:45,660
Miss Devonshire, what
are you doing here?
730
00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:47,200
I thought you went
home hours ago.
731
00:40:53,390 --> 00:40:57,450
I couldn't get my mind
off you, you stud muffin.
732
00:40:57,450 --> 00:40:59,940
Well, I'm flattered, I'm sure.
733
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:02,780
But it is late, and I have
all this paperwork to do.
734
00:41:02,780 --> 00:41:04,430
Oh, the hell with that.
735
00:41:04,430 --> 00:41:09,060
There's a more urgent
matter at hand.
736
00:41:09,060 --> 00:41:10,340
Miss Devonshire,
does this have
737
00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:12,390
anything to do with Malathian?
738
00:41:12,390 --> 00:41:13,090
No.
739
00:41:13,090 --> 00:41:13,790
It's not about me.
740
00:41:13,790 --> 00:41:15,730
I mean, about her.
741
00:41:15,730 --> 00:41:16,940
Do me, commissioner.
742
00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:20,060
Right now, right
here on this desk.
743
00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:22,150
Miss Devonshire,
what's gotten into you?
744
00:41:22,150 --> 00:41:24,690
Well, nothing yet.
Hurry up.
745
00:41:24,690 --> 00:41:26,170
I'm not getting any younger.
746
00:41:26,170 --> 00:41:27,630
Oh, all right.
747
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:33,930
So this is what you do the
minute my back is turned?
748
00:41:33,930 --> 00:41:37,280
I can't leave you alone
for a single moment?
749
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,350
Miss Devonshire, I thought
that this-- you were--
750
00:41:43,410 --> 00:41:44,160
You.
751
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,110
How dare you.
752
00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:48,470
Keep your hands off my man.
753
00:41:48,470 --> 00:41:52,160
I was just trying to prove
to you how unfaithful he is.
754
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,550
Was I right.
755
00:41:54,550 --> 00:41:56,360
I'm going to ring
your lousy neck.
756
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,700
So many men, so little time.
757
00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:01,300
Got to run!
758
00:42:01,300 --> 00:42:03,230
You get back here, right now!
759
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,150
Are you honestly going
to tell me you couldn't
760
00:42:10,150 --> 00:42:13,130
tell the difference between us?
761
00:42:13,130 --> 00:42:16,910
I just thought you loosened
your girdle a little bit.
762
00:42:16,910 --> 00:42:18,900
Oh, you [INAUDIBLE] fool.
763
00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:29,330
[LAUGHING]
764
00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:31,190
What's the matter with you?
765
00:42:31,190 --> 00:42:33,250
I can't believe what
I've let you talk me into.
766
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:33,950
Oh, shut up.
767
00:42:33,950 --> 00:42:37,130
This is the most fun
I've had in years.
768
00:42:37,130 --> 00:42:39,590
You're nothing
like I expected.
769
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:41,030
Oh, really?
770
00:42:41,030 --> 00:42:42,370
And what did you expect?
771
00:42:42,370 --> 00:42:44,190
Suzy Homemaker?
772
00:42:44,190 --> 00:42:48,090
[MUSIC PLAYING]
773
00:42:48,090 --> 00:42:50,590
Miss Devonshire, be
Sharpies reasonable.
774
00:42:50,590 --> 00:42:52,900
Look at the facts.
One, it was very late.
775
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:54,280
Two, I was very tired.
776
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,730
And three, I thought it was you.
777
00:42:56,730 --> 00:42:58,840
And four, it's not like I
was trying to make the move
778
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,710
on some slut off the street.
779
00:43:01,710 --> 00:43:03,280
I rest my case.
780
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,420
Well, it does sound better
when you put it that way.
781
00:43:07,420 --> 00:43:08,840
Here.
782
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,260
I'll make it up to you.
783
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:14,570
Look at that.
784
00:43:14,570 --> 00:43:16,370
Oh, it's beautiful!
785
00:43:16,370 --> 00:43:18,440
Oh, I forgive you!
786
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,370
Oh, what a lovely gift.
787
00:43:20,370 --> 00:43:22,560
I thought I was going to have
to go and get my own ring.
788
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,780
Oh, no, no, no, no.
789
00:43:23,780 --> 00:43:24,990
I wouldn't hear of it.
790
00:43:24,990 --> 00:43:26,930
No, we arrested a hooker
early this morning.
791
00:43:26,930 --> 00:43:28,680
She's doing 30 days.
792
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:29,850
Ah, she'll never miss it.
793
00:43:37,730 --> 00:43:39,390
Miss Devonshire?
794
00:43:39,390 --> 00:43:40,770
I have another question.
795
00:43:40,770 --> 00:43:43,480
And it's a rather
delicate subject.
796
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,020
Then who better to ask it?
797
00:43:47,020 --> 00:43:50,880
Well, um, what color wedding
dress were you planning on?
798
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,330
I realized white is
out of the question.
799
00:43:53,330 --> 00:43:55,600
White is not out
of the question.
800
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,140
I haven't been saving myself
for all these years so I could
801
00:43:58,140 --> 00:44:01,690
get married in bordello red.
802
00:44:01,690 --> 00:44:04,030
I thought I was the only
one who liked that color.
803
00:44:04,030 --> 00:44:05,810
OK, so a white dress.
804
00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:07,310
What style?
805
00:44:07,310 --> 00:44:08,710
Let's see.
806
00:44:08,710 --> 00:44:12,520
Maybe a little pill box hat,
and a high waisted bodice,
807
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,360
and a strand of pearls.
808
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,610
Oh, something simple.
809
00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:16,870
You know, like me.
810
00:44:16,870 --> 00:44:19,040
A style from the 60s.
811
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,850
A style for
someone in their 60s.
812
00:44:21,850 --> 00:44:23,690
That's not what I said.
813
00:44:23,690 --> 00:44:24,640
Oh, never mind.
814
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,470
Nothing can get me down today.
815
00:44:26,470 --> 00:44:28,420
The commissioner and
I have reconciled
816
00:44:28,420 --> 00:44:31,090
and there's not a
cloud in the sky.
817
00:44:31,090 --> 00:44:32,730
Just let me get
back to my column.
818
00:44:36,370 --> 00:44:38,230
Dear Old Maid--
819
00:44:38,230 --> 00:44:38,960
[LAUGHS]
820
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,870
Dear readers.
821
00:44:40,870 --> 00:44:43,420
Now that I'm getting
hitched, it's
822
00:44:43,420 --> 00:44:47,860
proof that you should have been
paying attention to all my tips
823
00:44:47,860 --> 00:44:49,570
over the years.
824
00:44:49,570 --> 00:44:54,520
I hope you're all as
jubilant as I am today.
825
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,790
Everyone except
for you, Malathian.
826
00:44:57,790 --> 00:45:00,370
I hope that you are living--
827
00:45:00,370 --> 00:45:05,500
Every moment in misery as
I prepare for my big day.
828
00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:09,850
As I march down the aisle, may
you crawl through that sewer
829
00:45:09,850 --> 00:45:12,710
of filth that you belong in.
830
00:45:12,710 --> 00:45:15,930
Ugh, this is the last straw.
831
00:45:15,930 --> 00:45:18,650
Maybe she's talking to
someone else with the same name.
832
00:45:18,650 --> 00:45:19,960
Shut up, you lug nut.
833
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,900
Jubilant on my wedding day.
834
00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:26,120
We'll see who's jubilant
when I'm through with her.
835
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:29,530
[BUZZER]
836
00:45:34,420 --> 00:45:35,680
Oh my god.
837
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,930
What the hell is she doing here?
- I don't know.
838
00:45:37,930 --> 00:45:39,690
Did you invite her,
because if you did--
839
00:45:39,690 --> 00:45:41,670
No, I mean, I didn't.
840
00:45:41,670 --> 00:45:43,180
I don't know how she found it.
841
00:45:43,180 --> 00:45:45,760
Find out what she
wants, and make it fast.
842
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:46,910
And then get rid of her.
843
00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:58,660
Hi.
844
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:01,650
I thought I'd find you here.
845
00:46:01,650 --> 00:46:04,270
I didn't think
I'd see you again.
846
00:46:04,270 --> 00:46:05,140
Silly boy.
847
00:46:05,140 --> 00:46:06,870
You dropped your card the
other night when you left,
848
00:46:06,870 --> 00:46:08,100
so I came by.
849
00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:09,740
Oh, I dropped my card?
850
00:46:09,740 --> 00:46:11,500
That was dumb of me.
851
00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,270
Dumb like a fox.
852
00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,400
It's nice that
you have a day job
853
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,330
as well as being a stripper.
854
00:46:18,460 --> 00:46:20,420
I respect you for that.
855
00:46:20,420 --> 00:46:21,190
Oh, yeah.
856
00:46:21,190 --> 00:46:22,420
Thanks.
857
00:46:22,420 --> 00:46:26,590
You were hoping that
I'd come by, weren't you?
858
00:46:26,590 --> 00:46:27,600
I was?
859
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,870
You don't have to pretend.
860
00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:32,840
We're all alone here, aren't we?
861
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,040
Alone?
862
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,760
Yeah, right, we're alone.
- Good.
863
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,630
Because I have a problem.
864
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,480
My engine's been revving
ever since I laid
865
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,250
eyes on you the other night.
866
00:46:42,250 --> 00:46:45,060
I need a tune up
in the worst way.
867
00:46:45,060 --> 00:46:47,650
OK, bring your car by
and I'll take a look at it.
868
00:46:47,650 --> 00:46:49,840
I'm not talking about my car.
869
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,320
I'm the one that's overheating.
870
00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:59,110
Whip out that dipstick
and make my engine purr.
871
00:46:59,110 --> 00:46:59,810
What are you doing?
872
00:47:04,950 --> 00:47:06,190
Come on, get out
of those clothes
873
00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:07,790
before I rip them
off with my teeth.
874
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,200
Ow!
My hand!
875
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,500
I think it's broken.
876
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:16,570
I'm sorry.
877
00:47:16,570 --> 00:47:18,790
I guess I should've
been more careful.
878
00:47:18,790 --> 00:47:19,570
Ow!
879
00:47:19,570 --> 00:47:20,820
No, it's OK.
880
00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:22,660
It wasn't your fault.
881
00:47:22,660 --> 00:47:24,610
I could stay and nurse
you back to health.
882
00:47:24,610 --> 00:47:25,570
No, no.
883
00:47:25,570 --> 00:47:26,690
You've done enough already.
884
00:47:26,690 --> 00:47:28,720
I think you better go.
885
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:31,090
I'll come back when
you're feeling better.
886
00:47:31,090 --> 00:47:34,900
I like a guy that has
use of both his hands.
887
00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:38,280
Well, don't hurry
because I'm a slow healer.
888
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:39,040
Oh, wait.
889
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,390
Let me give you my phone number.
890
00:47:40,390 --> 00:47:42,610
I have a wedding to go to this
Saturday, but other than that,
891
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,340
I'm free all weekend.
892
00:47:44,340 --> 00:47:46,290
Ow.
893
00:47:46,290 --> 00:47:47,940
Ow!
Damn.
894
00:47:51,810 --> 00:47:53,480
Call me!
Bye!
895
00:47:53,480 --> 00:48:01,240
[BUZZER]
896
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,100
That cheap little floozy!
897
00:48:03,100 --> 00:48:04,720
Trying to latch
her hooks into you.
898
00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:07,690
And you, how dare
you two time me.
899
00:48:07,690 --> 00:48:09,700
I didn't do anything with her!
900
00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:12,010
She's had the hots for me ever
since they caught me hiding
901
00:48:12,010 --> 00:48:13,690
in that house, and it
was your idea that I go
902
00:48:13,690 --> 00:48:15,300
over there in the first place.
903
00:48:15,300 --> 00:48:17,010
Yeah, I know that.
904
00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:19,720
What were you doing
stripping for her?
905
00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:22,190
That's the only way I
could get out of there.
906
00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:23,960
You'd better be
telling me the truth.
907
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:25,270
I am, honest!
908
00:48:30,850 --> 00:48:33,220
She has her nerve, though!
909
00:48:33,220 --> 00:48:34,300
You don't need to be jealous.
910
00:48:34,300 --> 00:48:35,970
I'll never see her again.
911
00:48:35,970 --> 00:48:37,540
You're damn right you'll
never see her again,
912
00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:39,340
or I'll carve you a new--
913
00:48:39,340 --> 00:48:40,780
Wait a minute.
914
00:48:40,780 --> 00:48:46,580
On second thought, maybe
you will see her again.
915
00:48:46,580 --> 00:48:48,470
She said the
wedding's on Saturday.
916
00:48:48,470 --> 00:48:51,410
All we need to know
is where it is.
917
00:48:51,410 --> 00:48:53,220
Why do you care?
918
00:48:53,220 --> 00:48:55,450
Because if there's
one thing I can't stand,
919
00:48:55,450 --> 00:48:57,220
it's a happy ending.
920
00:49:02,070 --> 00:49:04,000
Well, it looks like everything
is set for our big event
921
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,910
this Saturday!
922
00:49:05,910 --> 00:49:06,610
Listen, sir.
923
00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:08,340
Do you think it's safe to
go ahead with this wedding
924
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:10,590
with Malathian still at large?
- That's right.
925
00:49:10,590 --> 00:49:12,650
What if she shows up?
926
00:49:12,650 --> 00:49:14,570
Well, how is she going
to find out about it?
927
00:49:14,570 --> 00:49:18,530
I mean, who would be stupid
enough to let her know?
928
00:49:18,530 --> 00:49:20,090
That would be pretty stupid.
929
00:49:20,090 --> 00:49:25,760
[LAUGHS]
930
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,720
And I've been waiting my
whole life to get married.
931
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,610
I'm not postponing
it just because of
932
00:49:30,610 --> 00:49:33,210
some insane, homicidal
woman who may hold
933
00:49:33,210 --> 00:49:35,840
a number of grudges against me.
- That's right.
934
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:37,450
I mean, why jump to conclusions?
935
00:49:37,450 --> 00:49:40,820
After all, Malathian doesn't
even know where it is.
936
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:45,180
Besides, I want to start
making plans for our honeymoon.
937
00:49:45,180 --> 00:49:46,900
Oh, sir.
So soon?
938
00:49:46,900 --> 00:49:47,800
Yes, yes, yes.
939
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:51,340
You know, I'm hearing that
Death Valley is looking
940
00:49:51,340 --> 00:49:54,550
mighty good this time of year.
- Death Valley?
941
00:49:54,550 --> 00:49:57,100
That wasn't one of my choices.
942
00:49:57,100 --> 00:49:58,930
Yeah, it's not what it's
cracked up to be, either.
943
00:49:58,930 --> 00:50:00,070
I went there last year.
944
00:50:00,070 --> 00:50:03,420
I didn't see any dead bodies.
- Really?
945
00:50:03,420 --> 00:50:05,810
Oh, you don't say.
946
00:50:05,810 --> 00:50:08,540
I was thinking more along
the lines of something
947
00:50:08,540 --> 00:50:11,000
like Niagara Falls.
948
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,280
Oh, but think of the
cost, Miss Devonshire.
949
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:14,720
That's out of the question.
950
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:15,980
I tell you what.
951
00:50:15,980 --> 00:50:20,270
Why don't I take you to one of
those local water slides, huh?
952
00:50:20,270 --> 00:50:21,830
Rafting down a water
slide with a bunch
953
00:50:21,830 --> 00:50:23,240
of drunken teenagers?
954
00:50:23,240 --> 00:50:26,470
That's hardly my
idea of a honeymoon.
955
00:50:26,470 --> 00:50:28,330
I have a much better idea.
956
00:50:28,330 --> 00:50:29,830
What about Tijuana?
957
00:50:29,830 --> 00:50:33,110
There is this donkey
show I've heard about.
958
00:50:33,110 --> 00:50:35,170
That's enough, all of you.
959
00:50:35,170 --> 00:50:36,190
Now, commissioner, listen.
960
00:50:36,190 --> 00:50:37,840
You'd better come up
with a good honeymoon,
961
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,480
and that's an ultimatum.
962
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,610
Girls, I didn't want to
say this in front of Miss
963
00:50:52,610 --> 00:50:54,270
Devonshire, but you know
there is a pretty good
964
00:50:54,270 --> 00:50:57,330
chance that Malathian may
just crash the ceremony
965
00:50:57,330 --> 00:50:58,510
and wreak havoc.
966
00:50:58,510 --> 00:51:00,600
So you are going
to postpone it, then?
967
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:01,650
No, not on your life.
968
00:51:01,650 --> 00:51:03,240
This will be our best
chance to catch her.
969
00:51:03,240 --> 00:51:03,940
All right?
970
00:51:03,940 --> 00:51:06,180
Now, I want both of you
girls to stay on your toes
971
00:51:06,180 --> 00:51:07,080
at that ceremony.
972
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:11,530
The minute Malathian makes
her move, we will nab her.
973
00:51:11,530 --> 00:51:12,930
Yeah, but what if
there's crossfire?
974
00:51:12,930 --> 00:51:14,800
There's going to be a
lot of people there.
975
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,970
So a few people get shot.
976
00:51:17,970 --> 00:51:20,520
We will be grabbing
the number one criminal
977
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,540
at large in the process.
978
00:51:22,540 --> 00:51:23,830
So, who gets hurt?
979
00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:24,650
Hmm?
980
00:51:24,650 --> 00:51:25,650
Now, remember.
981
00:51:25,650 --> 00:51:27,330
Not one word to Miss Devonshire.
982
00:51:27,330 --> 00:51:29,660
She may be inviting some of her
family members to the wedding
983
00:51:29,660 --> 00:51:31,180
and she wouldn't like my plan.
984
00:51:36,240 --> 00:51:38,280
Can you believe that man?
985
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,750
A honeymoon in Death Valley?
986
00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:43,220
What sort of souvenirs am
I supposed to buy there?
987
00:51:43,220 --> 00:51:46,550
Oh, that man has no
sense of romance.
988
00:51:46,550 --> 00:51:47,780
Why don't you let
me give you a tip
989
00:51:47,780 --> 00:51:50,630
on how to keep the romance
in your relationship?
990
00:51:50,630 --> 00:51:52,640
I already know the basics.
991
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:56,260
The way to a man's heart
is through his stomach.
992
00:51:56,260 --> 00:51:58,290
Well, I happen to know
a more direct route.
993
00:51:58,290 --> 00:52:02,170
I spiced up my last relationship
by opening the door naked when
994
00:52:02,170 --> 00:52:03,640
my boyfriend was coming over.
995
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:04,810
What happened?
996
00:52:04,810 --> 00:52:06,790
Well, my boyfriend
was late, but um,
997
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:10,330
I got my mail hand-delivered for
about a year or so after that.
998
00:52:10,330 --> 00:52:12,260
Thank you for that too. tip.
999
00:52:12,260 --> 00:52:15,470
Now if you're finished, I
have some work to get to.
1000
00:52:15,470 --> 00:52:18,680
Um, well, um, actually,
there is one more thing.
1001
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:19,900
I've taken the
liberty of starting
1002
00:52:19,900 --> 00:52:22,920
a bridal registry for you
at the local Shop and Save.
1003
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:26,170
And look, somebody already
bought you a ceramic clown
1004
00:52:26,170 --> 00:52:27,610
salt and pepper shaker.
1005
00:52:27,610 --> 00:52:29,420
Ooh, I better get down
there while those irregular
1006
00:52:29,420 --> 00:52:31,010
pillowcases are still available.
1007
00:52:31,010 --> 00:52:34,450
Girls, before you start
sending out invitations,
1008
00:52:34,450 --> 00:52:37,000
I've made a list of my own.
1009
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,750
But we already have a list
of who we're going to invite.
1010
00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:43,120
This is a list of
who not to invite.
1011
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,950
I wasn't born yesterday.
1012
00:52:44,950 --> 00:52:47,520
I'm not letting you turn
my only trip down the aisle
1013
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,900
into something so tawdry,
it looks like a movie
1014
00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:52,290
for late night television.
1015
00:52:52,290 --> 00:52:54,830
But there's nothing wrong
with the people on my list.
1016
00:52:54,830 --> 00:52:56,620
I mean, I didn't invite
anybody who might
1017
00:52:56,620 --> 00:52:59,050
take a shot at you or anything.
1018
00:52:59,050 --> 00:53:01,920
Just pay attention.
1019
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,440
No one who might show
up on a motorcycle.
1020
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:09,570
Oh, no one with more than four
tattoos on any one body part.
1021
00:53:09,570 --> 00:53:12,780
No one who has ever
appeared on an infomercial.
1022
00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:16,400
And no rodeo clowns.
1023
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,010
Well, um, how about
inmates who were used
1024
00:53:19,010 --> 00:53:21,540
in prison medical experiments?
1025
00:53:21,540 --> 00:53:23,870
That one goes without saying.
1026
00:53:23,870 --> 00:53:26,150
You know, all of those
examples that you named
1027
00:53:26,150 --> 00:53:28,400
sound exactly like my type.
1028
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:31,030
You wouldn't happen to have
any numbers, would you?
1029
00:53:31,030 --> 00:53:34,230
[SIGHS]
1030
00:53:34,230 --> 00:53:36,750
Looks like I have to find a
new date for this Saturday.
1031
00:53:36,750 --> 00:53:40,570
Miss Devonshire, this
list is really necessary.
1032
00:53:40,570 --> 00:53:42,270
I mean, it's going to be
hard enough getting people
1033
00:53:42,270 --> 00:53:44,800
to show up with a chance that--
1034
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:45,590
Go on.
1035
00:53:45,590 --> 00:53:47,600
What were you going to say?
1036
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:48,420
Um--
1037
00:53:48,420 --> 00:53:49,690
She was going to
say that it's going
1038
00:53:49,690 --> 00:53:53,490
to be hard enough to get people
to attend on such short notice.
1039
00:53:53,490 --> 00:53:55,720
Oh, well.
Do the best you can.
1040
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:58,690
My family can hardly believe
I'm finally getting hitched.
1041
00:53:58,690 --> 00:54:01,120
There will be some surprised
faces at that ceremony
1042
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,770
this weekend.
1043
00:54:03,770 --> 00:54:05,660
You can say that again.
1044
00:54:08,990 --> 00:54:11,510
This wedding is making
me so strapped for cash.
1045
00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:12,830
I just bought a
bridal shower gift.
1046
00:54:12,830 --> 00:54:14,580
Now I have to get another one.
1047
00:54:14,580 --> 00:54:16,670
Why don't you just get
them something for under $5.
1048
00:54:16,670 --> 00:54:17,480
That's what I did.
1049
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:18,200
Really?
1050
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,630
That's all you spent?
1051
00:54:19,630 --> 00:54:20,330
Sure.
1052
00:54:20,330 --> 00:54:21,430
I mean, you don't
think I'm going
1053
00:54:21,430 --> 00:54:24,050
to break myself for those
two dinosaurs, do you?
1054
00:54:24,050 --> 00:54:26,750
Look, there's a reason I got the
registry at the Shop and Save.
1055
00:54:26,750 --> 00:54:29,210
There isn't a thing
on that list over $5.
1056
00:54:29,210 --> 00:54:31,250
Anyway, it's the thought
that counts, right?
1057
00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:32,860
Yeah, well, I
like your sentiment.
1058
00:54:32,860 --> 00:54:35,120
But just remind me not to
invite you to one of my weddings
1059
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:36,590
someday.
1060
00:54:36,590 --> 00:54:38,800
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1061
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:39,530
Hey, my car!
1062
00:54:43,450 --> 00:54:47,370
[GRUNTING]
1063
00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:01,130
And I have to find a
safer place to park.
1064
00:55:01,130 --> 00:55:04,610
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1065
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,590
Never again.
1066
00:55:08,590 --> 00:55:12,070
Never again.
1067
00:55:12,070 --> 00:55:15,070
Never, never.
1068
00:55:15,070 --> 00:55:17,170
What are you
babbling about now?
1069
00:55:17,170 --> 00:55:20,230
I'm making plans for
Devonshire's wedding.
1070
00:55:20,230 --> 00:55:21,970
I didn't know
you were invited.
1071
00:55:21,970 --> 00:55:23,350
I'm not, you peon.
1072
00:55:23,350 --> 00:55:26,490
That's never stopped me from
crashing a party before.
1073
00:55:26,490 --> 00:55:31,510
I can't wait until they
say, who doesn't want to see
1074
00:55:31,510 --> 00:55:33,500
these two people married?
1075
00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:35,730
Are you going to stand
up and interrupt them?
1076
00:55:35,730 --> 00:55:36,430
No.
1077
00:55:36,430 --> 00:55:38,560
I'm going to stand
up and shoot them.
1078
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:39,880
And then we are
going to make off
1079
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,740
with all their wedding gifts.
1080
00:55:41,740 --> 00:55:43,030
What do you mean, we?
1081
00:55:43,030 --> 00:55:44,380
You heard me.
1082
00:55:44,380 --> 00:55:46,750
I'll hold them back
at gunpoint while you
1083
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:48,490
load up on the presents.
1084
00:55:48,490 --> 00:55:51,660
We could use a new
toaster oven around here.
1085
00:55:51,660 --> 00:55:52,360
Wait a minute.
1086
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,180
I thought you'd been
rehabilitated before they
1087
00:55:54,180 --> 00:55:56,900
paroled you last week.
1088
00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,760
Rehabilitated?
1089
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,570
Paroled?
1090
00:56:00,570 --> 00:56:03,210
Oh, yeah, right.
1091
00:56:03,210 --> 00:56:05,700
Where has my mind been?
1092
00:56:05,700 --> 00:56:07,320
You know, this is
one part of my brain
1093
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,690
that I think they fried a
little too much in those prison
1094
00:56:09,690 --> 00:56:11,040
medical experiments.
1095
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,980
Makes me forget just
how far I've come.
1096
00:56:13,980 --> 00:56:16,290
How silly of me.
1097
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:18,310
That's better.
1098
00:56:18,310 --> 00:56:20,990
Yeah, what I
meant to say was, we
1099
00:56:20,990 --> 00:56:25,390
are going to go to the wedding
and wish them our very best.
1100
00:56:25,390 --> 00:56:26,090
Oh, OK.
1101
00:56:28,610 --> 00:56:29,900
Just one thing, though.
1102
00:56:29,900 --> 00:56:33,160
You remember that blond bimbo
that was here yesterday?
1103
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:35,480
Yeah, you told me
never to see her again.
1104
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,300
Yeah, well, don't listen
to everything I say.
1105
00:56:38,300 --> 00:56:41,660
Maybe you should ask her
out on a date after all.
1106
00:56:41,660 --> 00:56:45,200
I mean, she has just the
right pair of loose lips
1107
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,920
to tell me everything
I want to know.
1108
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,830
Looks like everything's set
for the wedding this Saturday.
1109
00:56:51,830 --> 00:56:53,270
All we have to do is
be out of the park
1110
00:56:53,270 --> 00:56:56,660
by 1:30, when Tiffany Berkowitz
gets married after you.
1111
00:56:56,660 --> 00:56:57,360
Wait a minute.
1112
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:59,240
You didn't tell me the
wedding was this Saturday.
1113
00:56:59,240 --> 00:56:59,950
I already have plans.
1114
00:56:59,950 --> 00:57:02,270
That's the day of the big
science fiction convention.
1115
00:57:02,270 --> 00:57:04,910
Now wait a minute, young man.
1116
00:57:04,910 --> 00:57:08,520
If you can't make up your mind
between a once in a lifetime
1117
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,070
event and a frivolous
little free for all--
1118
00:57:12,070 --> 00:57:12,770
Good.
1119
00:57:12,770 --> 00:57:14,090
I'm glad you don't
mind that I won't be
1120
00:57:14,090 --> 00:57:15,280
attending your wedding, then.
1121
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:16,130
Whew.
1122
00:57:16,130 --> 00:57:17,930
No, no, now wait a minute.
1123
00:57:17,930 --> 00:57:20,150
You're going to be there
bright and early, young man,
1124
00:57:20,150 --> 00:57:23,090
you're going to suffer through,
just like the rest of us.
1125
00:57:23,090 --> 00:57:24,040
What was that?
1126
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,730
Figuratively speaking.
1127
00:57:26,730 --> 00:57:29,130
But my friends are expecting
me at the convention.
1128
00:57:29,130 --> 00:57:32,510
We're going to be terminating
fat girls in the hotel lobby.
1129
00:57:32,510 --> 00:57:34,780
That's enough.
1130
00:57:34,780 --> 00:57:37,090
End of discussion, young man.
1131
00:57:37,090 --> 00:57:39,870
He isn't going to be
living with us, is he?
1132
00:57:39,870 --> 00:57:42,730
Miss Devonshire,
my son is in his 20s,
1133
00:57:42,730 --> 00:57:44,950
he has a college degree,
and a full time job.
1134
00:57:44,950 --> 00:57:46,200
I see.
1135
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:48,640
Of course he's going
to be living with us.
1136
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:51,500
It'll be good for him to have
a mother around, you know.
1137
00:57:51,500 --> 00:57:53,120
Perhaps you can even
convince him to move out
1138
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,040
of the basement, eventually.
1139
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,580
When can I start
calling you mom?
1140
00:57:59,580 --> 00:58:04,020
[LAUGHS]
1141
00:58:04,020 --> 00:58:05,150
Now look over here.
1142
00:58:05,150 --> 00:58:06,850
Samantha's modeling one of
the bridesmaids outfits.
1143
00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:14,230
(SINGING)
1144
00:58:24,570 --> 00:58:25,740
Nice choice.
1145
00:58:25,740 --> 00:58:27,410
Who helped you with it?
1146
00:58:27,410 --> 00:58:28,630
Well, I picked it myself.
1147
00:58:28,630 --> 00:58:29,800
But they're on
rental, so they have
1148
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,320
to be returned the next day.
1149
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,170
These are on rental?
1150
00:58:35,170 --> 00:58:36,850
I guess I should
have worn underwear.
1151
00:58:40,170 --> 00:58:41,940
Well, it looks like
everything's under control.
1152
00:58:41,940 --> 00:58:43,050
What did I tell you?
1153
00:58:43,050 --> 00:58:45,630
Come on, I have a cake to order.
1154
00:58:45,630 --> 00:58:48,840
Oh, did you find the bakery
that had the bride and groom
1155
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:50,480
on the cake, holding guns?
1156
00:58:59,710 --> 00:59:01,690
You look nice, Samantha.
1157
00:59:01,690 --> 00:59:03,700
Gee, thanks.
1158
00:59:03,700 --> 00:59:06,450
I'm sorry about calling
cheap the other night.
1159
00:59:06,450 --> 00:59:07,330
That's OK.
1160
00:59:07,330 --> 00:59:08,860
I've been called worse.
1161
00:59:08,860 --> 00:59:11,110
Would you like to go
out with me sometime?
1162
00:59:11,110 --> 00:59:13,390
[LAUGHS]
1163
00:59:13,390 --> 00:59:15,910
I don't think
it would work out.
1164
00:59:15,910 --> 00:59:18,520
Our backgrounds are
just too different.
1165
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:19,930
What do you mean?
1166
00:59:19,930 --> 00:59:23,640
Well, you come from
this nice, white bread,
1167
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,350
middle class family.
1168
00:59:26,350 --> 00:59:28,360
So?
1169
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:32,130
So, this is my first job.
1170
00:59:32,130 --> 00:59:33,120
Actually, my second job.
1171
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:36,080
I used to do phone sex.
1172
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:39,860
I was in prison for the
last five years of my life.
1173
00:59:39,860 --> 00:59:40,880
I already knew that.
1174
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:43,390
I saw your crime report.
1175
00:59:43,390 --> 00:59:44,860
You mean you knew
all that stuff about me
1176
00:59:44,860 --> 00:59:46,410
and still want to
go out with me?
1177
00:59:46,410 --> 00:59:47,110
Yeah, sure.
1178
00:59:47,110 --> 00:59:50,890
I mean, you seem like a
nice person and besides,
1179
00:59:50,890 --> 00:59:53,240
I like women in prison movies.
1180
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:57,190
Is it true what they do with
the brooms in those places?
1181
00:59:57,190 --> 00:59:59,540
I wouldn't know.
1182
00:59:59,540 --> 01:00:03,310
Well, so, do we have a date?
1183
01:00:03,310 --> 01:00:07,540
Well, you're an all
right kind of guy.
1184
01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:08,860
You know what?
1185
01:00:08,860 --> 01:00:10,070
I'd love to go out with you.
1186
01:00:10,070 --> 01:00:11,040
You would?
Really?
1187
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:11,740
Sure.
1188
01:00:11,740 --> 01:00:13,720
I wouldn't kid about
something like that.
1189
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:14,790
Now, what you want to do?
1190
01:00:14,790 --> 01:00:19,610
Um, how about a movie?
1191
01:00:19,610 --> 01:00:20,360
OK.
1192
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:22,850
That sounds nice.
1193
01:00:22,850 --> 01:00:26,320
[THUNDER]
1194
01:00:29,310 --> 01:00:32,790
WOMAN (IN MOVIE): Please
don't shoot me, Gus!
1195
01:00:32,790 --> 01:00:34,770
Gus!
1196
01:00:34,770 --> 01:00:37,260
Take me with you!
1197
01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,740
Please don't kill me!
1198
01:00:39,740 --> 01:00:41,230
Take me with you!
1199
01:00:41,230 --> 01:00:42,730
[SCREAMS]
1200
01:00:42,730 --> 01:00:43,720
What are you doing?
1201
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,700
Please don't kill me!
1202
01:00:46,700 --> 01:00:50,180
[SCREAMS]
1203
01:00:55,210 --> 01:00:57,110
Thanks for letting me
pick the picture, Samantha.
1204
01:00:57,110 --> 01:00:58,420
I hope you like it.
1205
01:00:58,420 --> 01:01:01,590
What's not to like about
Pinata Party Massacre?
1206
01:01:01,590 --> 01:01:03,340
Oh, it's a classic.
1207
01:01:03,340 --> 01:01:05,660
Sorority girls having
a pinata party,
1208
01:01:05,660 --> 01:01:06,880
sitting around in lingerie.
1209
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:10,180
And then an escaped homicidal
maniac crashes the party.
1210
01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:13,700
And he brings a baseball
bat with nails in it!
1211
01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:16,610
I've seen it 18 times already.
1212
01:01:16,610 --> 01:01:18,940
If you've seen it before,
why do you come back?
1213
01:01:18,940 --> 01:01:20,920
It gets better every time.
Look, look.
1214
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,370
Here's the part where the
girl goes up to the attic.
1215
01:01:23,370 --> 01:01:24,160
Now watch.
1216
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:25,750
She's going to let the bats out.
1217
01:01:25,750 --> 01:01:28,020
[SHRIEKS]
1218
01:01:28,020 --> 01:01:29,840
Would you be quiet?
1219
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,040
Hey, I paid for my ticket.
1220
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:34,130
I can do whatever I want here.
1221
01:01:34,130 --> 01:01:37,720
Irwin, try and be quiet
so I can watch the movie.
1222
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:44,690
[THUNDER]
- Look.
1223
01:01:44,690 --> 01:01:46,490
Here's the best part.
1224
01:01:46,490 --> 01:01:48,390
She thinks she's going
to be safe by locking
1225
01:01:48,390 --> 01:01:49,860
all the car doors in the car.
1226
01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:52,230
But the killer's
in the back seat!
1227
01:01:52,230 --> 01:01:56,390
[SCREAMS]
1228
01:01:56,390 --> 01:01:57,320
Look, man.
1229
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:58,830
You're spoiling the movie.
1230
01:01:58,830 --> 01:02:01,990
Either you shut up
or I'm going home.
1231
01:02:01,990 --> 01:02:03,450
Sorry.
We're good.
1232
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:14,080
[YAWNS]
1233
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:15,770
Irwin?
1234
01:02:15,770 --> 01:02:16,760
Shh.
1235
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:17,760
What are you doing?
1236
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:18,590
Shh.
1237
01:02:18,590 --> 01:02:19,810
Trying to watch the movie.
1238
01:02:24,250 --> 01:02:26,720
That does it.
1239
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:27,690
Look.
1240
01:02:27,690 --> 01:02:28,790
I've had some
lousy dates before,
1241
01:02:28,790 --> 01:02:30,290
but this one takes the cake.
1242
01:02:30,290 --> 01:02:33,050
Just be glad I didn't
bring my brass knuckles.
1243
01:02:33,050 --> 01:02:37,010
What are you looking at?
1244
01:02:37,010 --> 01:02:39,170
Wait, you're going to
miss the ninja cheerleaders!
1245
01:02:44,580 --> 01:02:50,000
[PHONE RINGING]
1246
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,860
Hello?
1247
01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:54,140
No, Anvil's busy right now.
1248
01:02:54,140 --> 01:02:57,390
I'll take a message.
1249
01:02:57,390 --> 01:03:00,000
Oh, it's Candy.
1250
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,890
I see.
1251
01:03:02,890 --> 01:03:07,300
Oh, the wedding is tomorrow
at noon in the park,
1252
01:03:07,300 --> 01:03:09,830
and you'd like to know if
he'd come as your date.
1253
01:03:13,220 --> 01:03:16,130
Yes, I'll see to it he gets it.
1254
01:03:22,860 --> 01:03:24,310
Who was that?
1255
01:03:24,310 --> 01:03:29,360
Oh, just a wedding
invitation I've been expecting.
1256
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:31,630
We have any plans for
tomorrow afternoon?
1257
01:03:31,630 --> 01:03:32,770
I never have any plans.
1258
01:03:32,770 --> 01:03:34,210
Oh, I forgot.
1259
01:03:34,210 --> 01:03:37,270
Well anyway, get together your
fanciest duds, because this is
1260
01:03:37,270 --> 01:03:39,760
an event I don't want to miss.
1261
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,160
Oh, I love weddings.
1262
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,200
Can I tie tin cans to
the back of their car?
1263
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,730
Shut up.
1264
01:03:44,730 --> 01:03:46,510
I can't wait until
they serve the wedding
1265
01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:49,120
cake, because I'm
going to bite the heads
1266
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:50,890
off the bride and groom.
1267
01:03:50,890 --> 01:03:54,730
[CACKLES]
1268
01:03:54,730 --> 01:03:56,030
I'm exhausted.
1269
01:03:56,030 --> 01:03:58,020
I can't wait until those
two are finally married.
1270
01:03:58,020 --> 01:03:58,720
I know.
1271
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,330
I had no idea it was
going to be so much work
1272
01:04:00,330 --> 01:04:01,780
organizing one of these things.
1273
01:04:01,780 --> 01:04:03,870
You said it.
1274
01:04:03,870 --> 01:04:05,210
Good evening, ladies.
1275
01:04:05,210 --> 01:04:06,460
What's your sign?
1276
01:04:06,460 --> 01:04:09,520
Mine's slippery when wet.
1277
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:10,220
Really?
1278
01:04:10,220 --> 01:04:12,980
It looks more like
vacancy upstairs.
1279
01:04:12,980 --> 01:04:14,080
Come on, be nice
to me and I'll
1280
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:18,030
give you the first and
third right on Collossus.
1281
01:04:18,030 --> 01:04:20,840
Oh, please.
I don't like kiddie rides.
1282
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:23,130
Why don't you get lost?
1283
01:04:23,130 --> 01:04:24,570
You don't know
what you're missing.
1284
01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:33,430
[GRUNTING]
1285
01:04:36,380 --> 01:04:38,350
Just beat it!
1286
01:04:38,350 --> 01:04:40,200
[LAUGHTER]
1287
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:44,770
Well, I guess I'd better
check my list one last time.
1288
01:04:44,770 --> 01:04:45,470
OK.
1289
01:04:45,470 --> 01:04:47,180
Are you sure the band's
going to be there?
1290
01:04:47,180 --> 01:04:49,210
Yeah.
I confirmed it this afternoon.
1291
01:04:49,210 --> 01:04:49,910
OK.
1292
01:04:49,910 --> 01:04:51,870
And you're sure they know how
to play the wedding march?
1293
01:04:51,870 --> 01:04:54,400
Well, I talked
with my friend Slash
1294
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:55,760
and he said he'd never
played it before,
1295
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:57,930
but he promised me he
would learn it by tomorrow.
1296
01:04:57,930 --> 01:04:59,450
- Slash?
- Yeah.
1297
01:04:59,450 --> 01:05:00,680
Wait a minute.
1298
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:02,810
What kind of band did you get?
1299
01:05:02,810 --> 01:05:05,630
How many kinds are there?
1300
01:05:05,630 --> 01:05:07,070
I was kind of thinking
of the kind that
1301
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:09,820
plays like, elevator music?
1302
01:05:09,820 --> 01:05:11,450
Listen, you wanted a
band that played for free.
1303
01:05:11,450 --> 01:05:12,870
You can't get too picky.
1304
01:05:12,870 --> 01:05:15,790
Yeah, I guess you're right.
OK.
1305
01:05:15,790 --> 01:05:17,280
I invited all of Miss
Devonshire's friends.
1306
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,110
Well, two of them.
1307
01:05:19,110 --> 01:05:20,980
And they said that they would
have to work something out
1308
01:05:20,980 --> 01:05:22,310
to get the day off
of prison guard duty,
1309
01:05:22,310 --> 01:05:24,140
but they'll be there.
- Good.
1310
01:05:24,140 --> 01:05:25,020
That's good.
1311
01:05:25,020 --> 01:05:28,170
And Irwin said he might bring
some of his friends with him.
1312
01:05:28,170 --> 01:05:29,170
Oh, god.
1313
01:05:29,170 --> 01:05:32,190
Do not even mention
his name to me.
1314
01:05:32,190 --> 01:05:34,470
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
1315
01:05:34,470 --> 01:05:39,070
It's just that we went on this
date and it was a disaster.
1316
01:05:39,070 --> 01:05:41,000
You went out with him?
1317
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,870
That's so cute!
1318
01:05:43,870 --> 01:05:45,080
No.
1319
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:45,920
It's not.
1320
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:48,950
He's got a real problem
with wandering hands.
1321
01:05:48,950 --> 01:05:49,650
Really?
1322
01:05:49,650 --> 01:05:51,680
I kind of like that in a guy.
1323
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:53,260
And I thought you were
gonna go as his date?
1324
01:05:53,260 --> 01:05:53,960
Oh, please.
1325
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:57,280
The only kind of date he's going
to get is the inflatable kind.
1326
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,920
What about you?
Who are you going to take?
1327
01:05:59,920 --> 01:06:03,620
Well, um, I asked that
male stripper from the party
1328
01:06:03,620 --> 01:06:04,940
the other night.
1329
01:06:04,940 --> 01:06:07,530
You invited him?
1330
01:06:07,530 --> 01:06:10,410
You're kidding me.
1331
01:06:10,410 --> 01:06:11,440
What's so funny about that?
1332
01:06:14,330 --> 01:06:15,030
Nothing.
1333
01:06:17,660 --> 01:06:18,600
Nothing.
1334
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,140
What else do you
have on your list?
1335
01:06:21,140 --> 01:06:23,810
Malathian the preacher
knows what time to show up.
1336
01:06:23,810 --> 01:06:25,730
I guess that's everything.
1337
01:06:25,730 --> 01:06:28,390
You said it.
1338
01:06:28,390 --> 01:06:31,090
Hey, let's get another
round to celebrate.
1339
01:06:31,090 --> 01:06:31,790
Yeah.
1340
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:39,090
[WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]
1341
01:06:45,010 --> 01:06:48,190
Girls, I know you're not up
for parole until next week,
1342
01:06:48,190 --> 01:06:51,820
but I'm getting married,
so what the hey?
1343
01:06:51,820 --> 01:06:55,640
I'll release you today if you
promise to get us a nice gift.
1344
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:57,900
Hm?
1345
01:06:57,900 --> 01:06:58,920
No, no, no, no, girls.
1346
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,690
That's not exactly
what I had in mind.
1347
01:07:00,690 --> 01:07:01,440
No, no.
Stop, stop!
1348
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,520
Stop.
1349
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,040
Man, what else is
he talking about?
1350
01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:07,530
Wish I knew what
happened to my ring.
1351
01:07:11,620 --> 01:07:12,750
- Sir?
- Yeah.
1352
01:07:12,750 --> 01:07:15,740
Do I get the day
off work as well?
1353
01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:18,560
Did you buy us a nice present?
1354
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:20,350
No.
1355
01:07:20,350 --> 01:07:21,080
Then you work today.
1356
01:07:24,830 --> 01:07:26,970
I'm so nervous.
1357
01:07:26,970 --> 01:07:27,960
Do I look all right?
1358
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:30,570
Oh, you look fine!
1359
01:07:30,570 --> 01:07:34,880
And I think that dress
is back in style now.
1360
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:36,370
Maybe I am worried
over nothing.
1361
01:07:36,370 --> 01:07:38,260
I mean, after all,
everything's been planned
1362
01:07:38,260 --> 01:07:40,120
out to the very last detail.
1363
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:41,970
What could possibly go wrong?
1364
01:07:41,970 --> 01:07:43,340
[SHOUTING]
1365
01:07:43,340 --> 01:07:45,870
What's all that
shouting about outside?
1366
01:07:45,870 --> 01:07:49,050
Well, we couldn't take the
day off work without someone
1367
01:07:49,050 --> 01:07:52,360
to mind the shop.
1368
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:55,840
[SHOUTING]
1369
01:08:01,810 --> 01:08:04,790
Tell Joyce [INAUDIBLE]
the tee shirt!
1370
01:08:04,790 --> 01:08:07,270
I didn't invite
these prisoners.
1371
01:08:07,270 --> 01:08:08,270
Don't worry.
1372
01:08:08,270 --> 01:08:10,250
You'll hardly know they're here.
1373
01:08:20,190 --> 01:08:22,790
Look at all these cheap gifts.
1374
01:08:22,790 --> 01:08:24,440
Whose idea was it to
have the bridal registry
1375
01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:26,080
at Shop and Save, anyway?
1376
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:26,870
Never mind that.
1377
01:08:26,870 --> 01:08:29,800
Have you seen how many
inmates are at our wedding?
1378
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:32,360
Well, just calm down.
1379
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:35,650
I think we put most of
them behind bars ourselves.
1380
01:08:35,650 --> 01:08:38,920
I just wonder where my
son, the best man, is.
1381
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,830
[SHOUTING]
1382
01:08:40,830 --> 01:08:42,270
Irwin!
1383
01:08:42,270 --> 01:08:44,530
Hi, dad!
1384
01:08:44,530 --> 01:08:46,760
What in the
blazes is going on?
1385
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,530
Well, I told you that I
wanted to go to the science
1386
01:08:48,530 --> 01:08:49,440
fiction convention.
1387
01:08:49,440 --> 01:08:51,890
And the only way I could come
by here and to have enough time
1388
01:08:51,890 --> 01:08:53,300
is if I came in costume.
1389
01:08:53,300 --> 01:08:55,810
I hope you don't mind, I brought
a couple of my friends along.
1390
01:08:55,810 --> 01:08:59,150
Young man, we were going to
have a long, long discussion
1391
01:08:59,150 --> 01:09:01,250
when this is all over.
1392
01:09:01,250 --> 01:09:02,490
Now, did you bring the ring?
1393
01:09:02,490 --> 01:09:03,230
Well, of course.
1394
01:09:03,230 --> 01:09:06,550
What you think, I'm stupid?
1395
01:09:06,550 --> 01:09:08,560
Friend of the
bride or the groom?
1396
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,420
Oh, can anything
else go wrong?
1397
01:09:11,420 --> 01:09:13,270
Where are my flower girls?
1398
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:20,230
Come on, you two.
1399
01:09:20,230 --> 01:09:22,420
Sleep it off at home.
1400
01:09:22,420 --> 01:09:24,120
Did you say something?
1401
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,190
Yeah, it's noon.
1402
01:09:25,190 --> 01:09:27,340
Order another drink or beat it.
1403
01:09:27,340 --> 01:09:29,510
Oh, I'll go for
another drink--
1404
01:09:29,510 --> 01:09:31,010
noon?
Noon?
1405
01:09:31,010 --> 01:09:33,390
Oh my god, the wedding's
already started.
1406
01:09:33,390 --> 01:09:34,980
- What?
- The wedding's already started.
1407
01:09:34,980 --> 01:09:35,950
OK, OK.
1408
01:09:35,950 --> 01:09:37,250
Um, well I got the
dresses in the car--
1409
01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:39,240
we can change on the way.
1410
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:41,210
Did you broads need
a designated driver?
1411
01:09:41,210 --> 01:09:44,260
I think you need to
mind your own business.
1412
01:09:44,260 --> 01:09:47,240
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1413
01:10:11,050 --> 01:10:13,530
Oh my gosh, oh my
gosh, oh my gosh!
1414
01:10:21,980 --> 01:10:23,600
Excuse me, I'm
Reverend Fletcher.
1415
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:25,010
I'll be conducting
the ceremony today.
1416
01:10:25,010 --> 01:10:26,480
Oh, all right.
[INAUDIBLE]
1417
01:10:26,480 --> 01:10:27,270
Nice to meet you.
1418
01:10:27,270 --> 01:10:29,180
That's Fletcher.
1419
01:10:29,180 --> 01:10:32,070
Say, you look familiar.
1420
01:10:32,070 --> 01:10:34,860
Weren't you the girl
on the three of hearts?
1421
01:10:34,860 --> 01:10:35,810
No.
1422
01:10:35,810 --> 01:10:40,410
You must have me mistaken
for somebody else.
1423
01:10:40,410 --> 01:10:42,500
Well, are we ready
to get started?
1424
01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,980
We're still waiting for
someone who isn't here yet.
1425
01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:47,600
They better get here quickly.
1426
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:50,310
Tiffany Berkowitz is getting
married in the next half hour.
1427
01:10:50,310 --> 01:10:53,270
And you have to be out of here.
1428
01:10:53,270 --> 01:10:54,050
Yes, we know.
1429
01:11:01,260 --> 01:11:04,240
[LOUD ELECTRIC ROCK MUSIC]
1430
01:11:08,210 --> 01:11:12,110
[AMP FEEDBACK]
1431
01:11:12,110 --> 01:11:13,880
Excuse me, but I believe
you're at the wrong place.
1432
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:15,720
This is a wedding.
1433
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:16,530
I know.
1434
01:11:16,530 --> 01:11:18,430
I'm supposed to be here.
1435
01:11:18,430 --> 01:11:19,470
I doubt that.
1436
01:11:19,470 --> 01:11:21,090
Who told you to be here?
1437
01:11:21,090 --> 01:11:24,190
Candy and Samantha.
1438
01:11:24,190 --> 01:11:27,170
Candy and Samantha.
1439
01:11:27,170 --> 01:11:27,930
Grab the wheel!
1440
01:11:27,930 --> 01:11:29,360
Grab the wheel, Candy!
- I got it!
1441
01:11:29,360 --> 01:11:31,150
I got it!
1442
01:11:31,150 --> 01:11:32,140
What are you doing?
1443
01:11:32,140 --> 01:11:33,130
What are you doing?
1444
01:11:33,130 --> 01:11:34,130
Ahhh!
1445
01:11:34,130 --> 01:11:35,620
I can't see!
1446
01:11:35,620 --> 01:11:41,090
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
1447
01:11:41,090 --> 01:11:45,060
[YELLING]
1448
01:11:45,060 --> 01:11:48,540
[INAUDIBLE]
1449
01:11:48,540 --> 01:11:51,030
[INAUDIBLE]
1450
01:11:51,030 --> 01:11:53,010
[YELLING]
1451
01:11:53,010 --> 01:11:55,000
Oh my gosh.
1452
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,490
Grab the wheel, I can't see!
1453
01:11:56,490 --> 01:11:57,490
My dress!
1454
01:11:57,490 --> 01:11:58,480
Oh my god!
1455
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:04,940
Woah!
Woah!
1456
01:12:11,980 --> 01:12:14,050
Aren't you going to put
the gift with the others?
1457
01:12:14,050 --> 01:12:15,020
No.
1458
01:12:15,020 --> 01:12:16,590
I'm waiting for
just the right part.
1459
01:12:16,590 --> 01:12:18,130
What is it?
1460
01:12:18,130 --> 01:12:19,670
It's a surprise.
1461
01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,690
Boy, you sure like surprises.
1462
01:12:21,690 --> 01:12:23,720
Oh, by the way, are you friends
with the bride or the groom?
1463
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:24,420
Neither.
1464
01:12:27,170 --> 01:12:30,660
[SHOUTING]
1465
01:12:37,630 --> 01:12:38,620
Grab the wheel.
1466
01:12:38,620 --> 01:12:41,360
I got it, I got it!
1467
01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,110
We really need to begin.
1468
01:12:43,110 --> 01:12:44,600
Very well, then.
1469
01:12:48,580 --> 01:12:52,570
[CAR HONKING]
- OK, OK, OK!
1470
01:12:56,050 --> 01:13:00,040
[ELECTRIC GUITAR]
1471
01:13:07,510 --> 01:13:10,990
[SHOUTING]
1472
01:13:50,980 --> 01:13:52,510
Are we ready?
1473
01:13:52,510 --> 01:13:55,970
Ready as I'll ever be!
1474
01:13:55,970 --> 01:14:00,140
Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today to unite
1475
01:14:00,140 --> 01:14:03,920
this couple in holy matrimony.
1476
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:06,530
Now, if there is
anyone out here who
1477
01:14:06,530 --> 01:14:09,230
feels this couple
should not be united,
1478
01:14:09,230 --> 01:14:14,740
please speak now or
forever hold your peace.
1479
01:14:14,740 --> 01:14:16,720
[CAR HONKS MUSICALLY]
1480
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:18,210
Look out!
1481
01:14:18,210 --> 01:14:22,660
[SCREAMING]
1482
01:14:22,660 --> 01:14:23,650
What the--
1483
01:14:31,190 --> 01:14:34,120
No wonder you got such
a good deal on this car.
1484
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:35,830
The brakes don't work.
1485
01:14:40,630 --> 01:14:42,450
- Girls, are you all right?
- Oh, yeah.
1486
01:14:42,450 --> 01:14:43,920
We're fine.
- You idiot!
1487
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:45,270
You ruined my wedding!
1488
01:14:45,270 --> 01:14:47,380
How dare you show up
dressed like this?
1489
01:14:47,380 --> 01:14:49,740
But our clothes
blew out the window!
1490
01:14:49,740 --> 01:14:50,930
And that band you picked!
1491
01:14:50,930 --> 01:14:52,360
I picked the band.
1492
01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:54,030
What will it take
to knock some sense
1493
01:14:54,030 --> 01:14:56,700
into your brainless heads?
1494
01:14:56,700 --> 01:15:01,110
[CACKLING]
1495
01:15:18,790 --> 01:15:20,600
Oh, this is too much!
1496
01:15:23,940 --> 01:15:25,600
Malathian!
1497
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:26,550
Guards!
1498
01:15:26,550 --> 01:15:28,420
Arrest this woman!
1499
01:15:28,420 --> 01:15:32,390
All right, stay back
and nobody gets hurt.
1500
01:15:32,390 --> 01:15:36,210
[CHEERING]
1501
01:15:36,210 --> 01:15:37,170
Get down!
1502
01:15:37,170 --> 01:15:38,240
Down!
1503
01:15:38,240 --> 01:15:39,750
What are you
doing with the gun?
1504
01:15:39,750 --> 01:15:43,820
Shut up.
I told you it was a surprise.
1505
01:15:43,820 --> 01:15:45,320
Stay back!
1506
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:47,450
How dare you show
up to my wedding.
1507
01:15:47,450 --> 01:15:49,340
You weren't invited.
1508
01:15:49,340 --> 01:15:51,170
Well, I came to stir
up a little trouble,
1509
01:15:51,170 --> 01:15:53,000
but it looks like your
own girls have done
1510
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,900
a pretty decent job themselves.
1511
01:15:54,900 --> 01:15:56,580
[LAUGHS]
1512
01:15:56,580 --> 01:15:59,560
Sometimes, I wonder whose
side they're on myself.
1513
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:01,380
Gee, commissioner,
you were right.
1514
01:16:01,380 --> 01:16:03,730
Malathian did show up,
just like you said.
1515
01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:07,540
You mean you were expecting
this and you never told me?
1516
01:16:07,540 --> 01:16:09,820
I wasn't absolutely positive.
1517
01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:11,620
Thanks a lot, Candy.
1518
01:16:11,620 --> 01:16:12,950
Did you open your presents?
1519
01:16:12,950 --> 01:16:14,470
The set of mismatched
towels were mine.
1520
01:16:17,020 --> 01:16:20,120
Oh, hi Anvil.
1521
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:22,400
It's nice that you showed up.
1522
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:27,800
Why don't you meet me in me
car, naked, after the ceremony?
1523
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:31,220
You, keep your
hands off my man.
1524
01:16:31,220 --> 01:16:33,440
Your man?
1525
01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:35,660
You heard me, you
gold digging tramp.
1526
01:16:35,660 --> 01:16:38,540
We met through Prison
Romance Magazine way
1527
01:16:38,540 --> 01:16:40,520
before you came into
his garage and wanted
1528
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:42,830
his love nuts and dipstick.
1529
01:16:42,830 --> 01:16:46,430
She met that from
the pen pal column?
1530
01:16:46,430 --> 01:16:47,590
Boy, I'm going
to have to start
1531
01:16:47,590 --> 01:16:50,050
reading those personal ads
a little more carefully.
1532
01:16:52,690 --> 01:16:54,900
You two-timing pig!
1533
01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:56,710
I can't believe you'd
make the moves on me when
1534
01:16:56,710 --> 01:16:58,740
you already had a girlfriend.
1535
01:16:58,740 --> 01:16:59,610
It's not--
1536
01:16:59,610 --> 01:17:01,030
It's not what it
looks like, honest!
1537
01:17:01,030 --> 01:17:03,080
You get back with the others.
1538
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:04,340
I'm not finished yet.
1539
01:17:04,340 --> 01:17:06,530
And I'm glad that car
hood slammed on your hand
1540
01:17:06,530 --> 01:17:07,970
the other night before
I was about to do
1541
01:17:07,970 --> 01:17:09,650
the wild thing with you.
1542
01:17:09,650 --> 01:17:13,310
By the way, do you
have any brothers?
1543
01:17:13,310 --> 01:17:15,800
I've had enough of all of you!
1544
01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:24,110
Preacher, I hope you know
how to say the last rites.
1545
01:17:32,440 --> 01:17:33,900
Listen, you people!
1546
01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:37,640
I'm getting married at
1:30 here and you're
1547
01:17:37,640 --> 01:17:39,370
already past your time limit!
1548
01:17:39,370 --> 01:17:41,130
Let's get a move on it!
1549
01:17:41,130 --> 01:17:43,360
Listen, honey, if you were
smart, you'd shut your mouth
1550
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,370
and get out of here while
you still got the chance?
1551
01:17:45,370 --> 01:17:47,530
Who do you think
you're talking to?
1552
01:17:47,530 --> 01:17:49,460
I don't care who I'm talking
to, now get your ass out
1553
01:17:49,460 --> 01:17:53,230
of here before I shoot it off.
1554
01:17:53,230 --> 01:17:56,800
No one talks to Tiffany
Berkowitz like that!
1555
01:17:59,780 --> 01:18:02,270
Get her, girls!
1556
01:18:02,270 --> 01:18:05,250
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1557
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:24,140
Well, hope nobody
bought us any china.
1558
01:18:24,140 --> 01:18:27,610
[GRUNTING]
1559
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:40,550
[SCREAMING]
1560
01:19:00,350 --> 01:19:04,800
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
1561
01:19:11,230 --> 01:19:13,220
Come on, Malathian!
1562
01:19:13,220 --> 01:19:15,690
We've been keeping the cell
nice and clean for you!
1563
01:19:15,690 --> 01:19:16,680
Go to hell!
1564
01:19:23,610 --> 01:19:35,600
[APPLAUSE]
1565
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:39,070
Well, young lady, what do you
have to say for yourself now?
1566
01:19:39,070 --> 01:19:42,520
It's just not fair!
1567
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:44,490
I mean, how come everybody
else gets to have
1568
01:19:44,490 --> 01:19:46,950
a happy ending except for me?
1569
01:19:46,950 --> 01:19:49,160
I mean, I'm the one who
should be marching down
1570
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:50,880
that aisle in a wedding dress.
1571
01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:53,340
Isn't there anybody
who will have me?
1572
01:19:56,810 --> 01:19:57,560
I'll marry you.
1573
01:20:02,810 --> 01:20:04,240
You will?
1574
01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:05,950
Yes, I will.
1575
01:20:05,950 --> 01:20:07,300
It won't be much at first.
1576
01:20:07,300 --> 01:20:09,310
Only conjugal visit
days, but it'll
1577
01:20:09,310 --> 01:20:10,840
be exactly what I had in mind.
1578
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:12,340
A seven year engagement.
1579
01:20:12,340 --> 01:20:17,440
That is, if you'll have me.
1580
01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:21,320
Aw, you're darn
right I'll have you.
1581
01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:22,270
I accept.
1582
01:20:22,270 --> 01:20:23,820
Can she do this?
1583
01:20:23,820 --> 01:20:24,660
Yes, she can.
1584
01:20:24,660 --> 01:20:26,890
In fact, the law allows it.
1585
01:20:26,890 --> 01:20:29,740
Then a double
ceremony it'll be.
1586
01:20:29,740 --> 01:20:31,480
A double ceremony?
1587
01:20:31,480 --> 01:20:35,130
What did I just tell you people?
- No, no, no.
1588
01:20:35,130 --> 01:20:36,850
We'll make it nice
and quick, all right?
1589
01:20:36,850 --> 01:20:38,530
By the way, young lady,
have you ever considered
1590
01:20:38,530 --> 01:20:40,840
a career in vice enforcement?
1591
01:20:40,840 --> 01:20:43,020
You see this wedding dress?
1592
01:20:43,020 --> 01:20:45,090
You think I'm planning
on having a job?
1593
01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:57,690
Do you, Thelma
Louise Devonshire--
1594
01:20:57,690 --> 01:21:01,160
[GIGGLES]
1595
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:02,430
Excuse me.
1596
01:21:02,430 --> 01:21:04,900
Would you two shut up?
1597
01:21:04,900 --> 01:21:06,190
Oh, sorry.
1598
01:21:10,890 --> 01:21:11,680
Please continue.
1599
01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:16,920
Do you take the
commissioner to be
1600
01:21:16,920 --> 01:21:19,430
your lawfully wedded husband?
1601
01:21:19,430 --> 01:21:22,030
I do.
1602
01:21:22,030 --> 01:21:24,380
And do you take
Miss Devonshire to be
1603
01:21:24,380 --> 01:21:26,840
your lawfully wedded wife?
- I do.
1604
01:21:29,630 --> 01:21:41,070
And do you, Malathian, take
Anvil to be your husband?
1605
01:21:41,070 --> 01:21:42,990
Do I ever.
I mean, I do.
1606
01:21:47,510 --> 01:21:55,170
And do you take
Malathian to be your wife?
1607
01:21:55,170 --> 01:21:55,870
I do.
1608
01:22:00,310 --> 01:22:02,330
I pronounce you
both man and wife.
1609
01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:08,280
You may kiss the brides.
1610
01:22:14,170 --> 01:22:18,100
[APPLAUSE]
1611
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:23,990
All right.
1612
01:22:23,990 --> 01:22:25,510
Oh no!
1613
01:22:25,510 --> 01:22:28,900
Til death do you part is going
to come a little early for you
1614
01:22:28,900 --> 01:22:29,750
two.
1615
01:22:29,750 --> 01:22:33,640
Someone stop her!
1616
01:22:33,640 --> 01:22:36,050
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
1617
01:22:36,050 --> 01:22:43,760
[GUNSHOT]
1618
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:48,480
I told you not to bump
into me when I'm taking aim!
1619
01:22:48,480 --> 01:22:51,720
Our best wedding gift yet!
1620
01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:53,800
Yeah, better than any of
those crummy gifts they gave us.
1621
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:55,470
Well, good work, Candy.
1622
01:23:00,770 --> 01:23:03,670
Wait a minute!
1623
01:23:03,670 --> 01:23:04,900
What about my honeymoon?
1624
01:23:04,900 --> 01:23:05,620
Ha!
1625
01:23:05,620 --> 01:23:08,010
In about seven.
1626
01:23:08,010 --> 01:23:10,630
I'll see you on
conjugal visit day.
1627
01:23:10,630 --> 01:23:13,620
Maybe they'll give me time
off for good behavior.
1628
01:23:13,620 --> 01:23:15,040
I'll wait for you.
1629
01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:18,750
And I'll keep you
company while she's gone.
1630
01:23:18,750 --> 01:23:20,790
The hell you will!
1631
01:23:20,790 --> 01:23:23,050
I've broken out before
and I'll do it again.
1632
01:23:23,050 --> 01:23:23,750
Yeah, sure.
1633
01:23:27,970 --> 01:23:28,950
Boy.
1634
01:23:28,950 --> 01:23:31,870
If I would have only
hired a video crew to
1635
01:23:31,870 --> 01:23:32,650
tape this wedding.
1636
01:23:32,650 --> 01:23:34,890
Think of all the money we
could have won in America's
1637
01:23:34,890 --> 01:23:37,350
Most Hilarious Home Videos.
1638
01:23:37,350 --> 01:23:40,840
[ELECTRIC GUITAR]
1639
01:23:40,840 --> 01:23:42,620
Hey, Samantha,
would you like to go
1640
01:23:42,620 --> 01:23:43,720
to the science
fiction convention
1641
01:23:43,720 --> 01:23:45,810
with me and my friends?
1642
01:23:45,810 --> 01:23:47,210
Uh, no thanks, Irwin.
1643
01:23:47,210 --> 01:23:49,610
You're just not my type.
1644
01:23:49,610 --> 01:23:53,330
Now this is my kind of man.
1645
01:23:53,330 --> 01:23:55,540
Hey, get Slash, you get
any new tattoos lately?
1646
01:23:55,540 --> 01:23:57,520
Not that I could
show you out in public.
1647
01:23:57,520 --> 01:23:59,950
Oh, man!
1648
01:23:59,950 --> 01:24:03,770
Irwin, when can
I eat some food?
1649
01:24:03,770 --> 01:24:05,490
Let's go hotwire a
car and go for a ride.
1650
01:24:05,490 --> 01:24:06,190
Oh, man.
1651
01:24:06,190 --> 01:24:10,400
I'd like to, but it's
a parole violation.
1652
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:13,730
You're no fun
anymore these days.
1653
01:24:13,730 --> 01:24:16,650
[APPLAUSE]
1654
01:24:22,480 --> 01:24:25,900
Speaking of honeymoons,
where did you decide on?
1655
01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:27,630
Oh, you're going to love it.
1656
01:24:27,630 --> 01:24:30,880
It's going to be a
working vacation.
1657
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:33,270
A working vacation?
1658
01:24:33,270 --> 01:24:36,370
Exactly what I had in mind.
1659
01:24:36,370 --> 01:24:37,340
We can never rest.
1660
01:24:37,340 --> 01:24:41,280
Remember, vice happens.
1661
01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:44,660
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1662
01:24:48,360 --> 01:24:53,460
Didn't I say I want
you people out of here?
1663
01:24:53,460 --> 01:24:54,960
Ah!
1664
01:24:54,960 --> 01:24:58,610
[MUSIC - MARKY DESADE, "PISTOL
WHIPPED"]
108400
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