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1
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:15,849
>> [laughing]
[whirring]
2
00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:18,118
[captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group]
3
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:28,161
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:35,468
>> it's alive!
5
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,970
>> hello, "Robot chicken."
6
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:40,006
I viewed your recent gobots
Sketch with an utter lack of
7
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,809
Mirth and an abundance of
Extreme displeasure.
8
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,779
The following is my annotated
Version of your worthless
9
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:46,713
Attempt at humor.
10
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,516
Watch and learn, jerks.
11
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,152
First of all, gobots do not
Live in houses.
12
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,155
Second of all, gobots do not
Masturbate, if that is indeed
13
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,189
What you are implying.
14
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:57,590
[knocking]
>> scooter?
15
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:58,391
>> don't come in!
16
00:00:58,458 --> 00:00:58,992
>> what are you doing in there?
17
00:00:59,058 --> 00:00:59,659
>> don't come in!
18
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,593
Don't come in!
19
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:01,928
>> this is not a hilarious
Circumstance.
20
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,497
It is both painful and
Traumatic--as anyone who has
21
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:05,865
Lived through it can tell you.
22
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:06,933
>> so...
23
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,568
Let me get this straight.
24
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:13,339
You're a helicopter and your
Name is cop-tur?
25
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,107
>> yes.
26
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,308
>> lame.
27
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:18,978
>> turbo is a good gobot
And cop-tur is a renegade gobot.
28
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,080
They would not be conversing as
Such.
29
00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:24,217
Also, cop-tur was only his lame
American name.
30
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:26,686
When the character was
Originated in japan in 1981,
31
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,855
Cop-tur's name was gyro robo.
32
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,758
I have taken the liberty of
Re-dubbing this scene.
33
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,994
>> so, I hear your name is
Gyro robo.
34
00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:36,095
>> correct.
35
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,097
>> that is very not lame.
36
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,900
[bell rings]
>> I won't even dignify this
37
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,569
Scene with my analysis.
38
00:01:42,634 --> 00:01:45,939
"Robot chicken" has screwed the
Proverbial pooch when attempting
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00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:49,275
To skewer the vast and
Magnificent world of the gobots.
40
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,543
Please go to hell.
41
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,478
>> daniel?!
42
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:52,846
Come get your supper, honey!
43
00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:54,981
>> mom, I you my name was
Gyro robo!
44
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,050
>> oh, sorry, gyro robo.
45
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:57,750
>> yeah.
46
00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,085
That's more like it.
47
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:02,922
>> you are going too fast!
48
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:07,060
Pull over immediately!
49
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,329
>> [cheering]
>> konnichiwa,
50
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,865
And welcome to "Ninja stars."
51
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:14,834
Tonight we'll see real live
Ninjas compete to find out who
52
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:18,304
Can be the most stealthy and
Effective assassin.
53
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:23,009
Please help me welcome dan
Norbert, corporate accountant.
54
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:26,746
Let us see what our first ninja
Contestant can do.
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,681
>> hyay!
56
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,517
>> [cheering]
>> ho, ho!
57
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:31,484
Fantastic!
58
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:32,986
Let's go to our panel of judges.
59
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:33,753
>> nice moves.
60
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,721
I give him a 10.
61
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,422
>> dan norbert look pretty dead.
62
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,490
9.5.
63
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:38,758
>> I don't know why I'm here.
64
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,594
I don't know the first thing
About martial arts.
65
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,929
6.5.
66
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,531
>> [whispering]
>> sorry, folks.
67
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,234
The other two ninja contestants
Were found decapitated
68
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,869
Backstage.
69
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,204
Good night.
70
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:55,808
>> here comes the yum-yum train
Right into the station.
71
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,511
>> [crying]
>> toot, toot!
72
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,947
Yum-yum express comin' through!
73
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,015
Toot, toot!
74
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,018
Next stop tummy land!
75
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:06,252
Oh, no!
76
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,854
The bridge is closed!
77
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:08,922
Full reverse engines!
78
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,223
Slam on the brakes!
79
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,724
Come on, women and children
First!
80
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:12,926
Oh, dear god!
81
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,128
It looks like the tracks are
Coming to an end!
82
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,529
Crash!
83
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:19,232
Everyone on board lurches
Forward.
84
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,001
The impact throws people through
Windows!
85
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,203
Arms hanging from the luggage
Rack!
86
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,040
Children's faces are trampled in
Panic!
87
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:31,411
The guy in the bathroom breaks
His neck and passes out in his
88
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,079
On filth!
89
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,581
It's carnage!
90
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,283
Bloody [bleep] Carnage!
91
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,752
People demand to know why!
92
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:43,790
Why would god allow something
Like this to happen?!
93
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:47,026
Oh, the humanity!
94
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:52,565
>> [cries]
>> toot, toot!
95
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,902
Here comes the yum-yum train.
96
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:56,936
>> aah!
97
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,039
>> she'll have the chef salad,
And I'll have...
98
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,007
I'll have the steak.
99
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:01,841
>> yeah, yeah.
100
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,242
You better order the steak,
Punk.
101
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,611
Don't want none of this, bitch!
102
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,245
Let me get these rubber bands
Off.
103
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,981
I'm gonna go clack-clack all up
In your face, mother--
104
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:09,148
>> hi, there.
105
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:13,853
Welcome to my new show--
"Vince vaughn bangs your mom."
106
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,755
In this show, I meet up with
Your mom, and I bust her ass
107
00:04:16,822 --> 00:04:18,423
Like a looter in a riot.
108
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,326
Please welcome my first guest
Today...
109
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,327
Your mom.
110
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:25,465
>> [applause]
>> now, before I take your mom
111
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,533
Behind this curtain, I'd like to
Tell you a little bit about this
112
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,768
Fine lady.
113
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,938
She's 45 years young, loves
Museums, and does this thing
114
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,607
With her tongue that would make
A--well, would make a rabbi eat
115
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,508
Pork.
116
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,776
That's all for today.
117
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,912
Time for me to go sweep your
Mom's chimney like mary poppins.
118
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,147
Chim-chim cheeroo!
119
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,382
Toodles.
120
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,284
>> boy, being a sock puppet
Really sucks, huh?
121
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,386
>> yeah.
122
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,987
Especially when your
Puppetmaster is a 14-year-old
123
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,923
Boy who whacks off in your face
Every night.
124
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,025
>> ha ha ha.
125
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,659
>> oh!
126
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,996
I feel like I'm gonna blow
Chunks of birdseed!
127
00:04:57,063 --> 00:05:03,202
[retching]
>> oh, no!
128
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,271
Big bird has the bird flu.
129
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,608
>> the word of the day is
"Quarantine."
130
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:12,779
Q-u-a-r-a-n-t-I-n-e.
131
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,047
Quarantine.
132
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:15,415
>> snuffeluppagus?
133
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,150
Is that you?
134
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,685
>> oh, he must be hallucinating.
135
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:20,219
>> hi, bird.
136
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,722
I'm so sorry you're sick.
137
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,290
>> I'm scared, snuffy.
138
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,193
Thank god you can't get it since
Your not real.
139
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,796
[monitor flatlines]
>> yeah.
140
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,999
Thank god--
[gasps]
141
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,100
>> one vaccine.
142
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,368
Ah ah ah!
143
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,402
Two vaccines.
144
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:37,537
Ah ah ah!
145
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:39,872
>> ♪ one of these kids
Is not like the other
146
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:42,742
One of these kids is dead ♪
>> today's episode brought to
147
00:05:42,808 --> 00:05:44,744
You by the letters c.D.C.
148
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,012
>> and now...
149
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,980
A message from the bees.
150
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:48,848
>> hey, boys and girls.
151
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:53,119
Remember to be yourself!
152
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,521
And don't [bleep] With us or
We'll sting you all at once
153
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:56,689
And kill you.
154
00:05:56,756 --> 00:06:02,328
[thunder]
>> [laughter]
155
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,198
Ah, projac,
You're a gift to former mad
156
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,966
Scientists everywhere.
157
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,836
With your help, I'll use my
Inventions for good.
158
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:18,077
Right, boys?
159
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,146
>> I live!
160
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,216
This is awesome!
161
00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:24,751
I'm alive!
162
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:25,651
Ha ha!
163
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:26,619
I'm alive!
164
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:27,353
>> aagh!
165
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,355
>> ha!
166
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,690
Yeah!
167
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:31,957
Ooh!
168
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:34,393
Sparkly!
169
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,328
Oh!
170
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,197
Being alive holds such amazing
Wonders!
171
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:39,031
>> freeze!
172
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,832
>> hey, hey, hands above your
Head!
173
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:41,634
>> don't give me reason, sir!
174
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,368
>> I love you all!
175
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,237
[gunfire]
I want to play, too!
176
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:46,606
[machinegun fire]
>> [screaming]
177
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,007
>> what a great game!
178
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,308
I win!
179
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,345
>> [barking]
>> look at you.
180
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:55,882
I haven't seen anything so
Adorable in all my 20 minutes of
181
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:59,085
Life.
182
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,586
Come here, you!
183
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,488
Ha ha!
184
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,291
>> well, boys, I hope you--
Oh, my god!
185
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,692
>> freeze, cop-killer!
186
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,527
>> what--no!
187
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,494
>> don't give me another reason!
188
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,262
>> drop it!
189
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,898
[gunfire]
>> vanax.
190
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,100
Get your smile back,
But without the desire to build
191
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,568
Giant robots.
192
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:20,173
[bells jingling]
>> ho, ho, ho!
193
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:21,240
>> oh, hey there, casper.
194
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,008
>> ha ha!
195
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:22,742
>> hey!
196
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:23,843
>> someone call u.P.S.
197
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,778
There's a small package that
Needs to be delivered.
198
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,480
>> I thought you were supposed
To be a friendly ghost.
199
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:28,514
>> idiot!
200
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,983
I'm his brother jasper,
The douche bag ghost!
201
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,085
>> ♪ jasper
The douche bag ghost
202
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,556
The douchiest ghost possessed
He'll call you names
203
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,859
And act real mean
Until you feel depressed
204
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,028
He'll always say... ♪
>> [bleep] You!
205
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,463
>> ♪ and... ♪
>> lick my sack, you fairy!
206
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,999
>> ♪ he's so damn crude
And so damn rude
207
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:53,005
Jasper, the douche bag ghost ♪
>> we will all miss annie.
208
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:55,842
But she truly is in a better
Place.
209
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:59,145
>> [gasps]
>> oh, grandma!
210
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,414
I'm so glad you're alive!
211
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,615
>> aaw!
212
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:06,686
>> herman, you were always my
Least favorite grandchild.
213
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:07,520
>> ha ha!
214
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:08,921
Retards!
215
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,723
>> ♪ jasper, the douche bag
Ghost ♪
216
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,859
>> lick my sack!
217
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:13,759
>> I'll take a coke.
218
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,560
>> pepsi ok?
219
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,595
>> hell, no!
220
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:19,031
This place sucks,
You [bleep] Whore!
221
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,234
>> that's all that's left of
Him--poor bastard.
222
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:28,174
>> the subject died of natural--
Natural causes.
223
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,375
>> welcome back, everyone.
224
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,677
I'm still "Robot chicken"
Executive producer seth green.
225
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,880
>> and I'm still executive
Producer matt senreich.
226
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:36,315
>> not enough of you have been
Calling in to support us getting
227
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:37,250
A third season.
228
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,784
But we're gonna change all that
Right now.
229
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,553
Co-head writer douglas
Goldstein, bring out that
230
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,754
Adorable puppy.
231
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,023
[barking]
So, listen carefully...
232
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,058
If you guys don't call the
Number on the bottom of the
233
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,362
Screen right now, matt here is
Gonna shotgun-blast knuckles'
234
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,596
Brains all over the ground.
235
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,530
You got it?
236
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,266
So, start calling, bitches.
237
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:54,100
We're not kidding.
238
00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:55,935
You have two minutes to call--
[boom]
239
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:56,802
[bleep]!
240
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,670
Whoa, what the [bleep]?!
241
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:58,371
>> sorry.
242
00:08:58,437 --> 00:08:59,305
My finger slipped.
243
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,306
My bad.
244
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,607
>> I thought we weren't gonna
Kill the dog?
245
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:02,408
>> dude, it slipped.
246
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,709
I'm sorry.
247
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:04,610
>> wow.
248
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,579
Ok, um...
249
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:07,847
Let's...
250
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,483
Uh, let's have co-head writer
Tom root bring out arnold the
251
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:11,484
Monkey.
252
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,752
Matt, you really gotta be
Careful, ok, man?
253
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:13,519
>> ok, ok.
254
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:17,189
[chittering]
>> arnold, arnold!
255
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,491
It's ok, it's ok.
256
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:19,158
It's ok.
257
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:19,992
Shh.
258
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:20,927
It's ok, buddy, it's ok.
259
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:21,594
Come here.
260
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:22,428
It's ok.
261
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,297
Ok, now let's get some phone
Calls--
262
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:26,232
[boom]
Matt, what the hell?!
263
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,334
>> somebody put vaseline on this
Trigger.
264
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,470
>> dude, I put a $10,000 deposit
Down on that monkey!
265
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:32,538
I'm not gonna get that back.
266
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:33,973
>> I'm really, really sorry.
267
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:34,740
>> give me the gun.
268
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:35,408
>> no!
269
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,075
>> give me it!
270
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:36,742
>> no!
271
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:37,476
Let go!
272
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:39,045
>> matt, give me it--
[boom]
273
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,012
>> oh, hello!
274
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:40,947
>> matt!
275
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,715
You shot the bloopers host!
276
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:43,716
>> seth, listen!
277
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,119
[telephones ringing]
They like the violence.
278
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,055
We need more violence!
279
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,057
[boom]
>> whoa, whoa, whoa, matt!
280
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:52,224
That's our friend tom!
281
00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:53,526
He's--what are you doing?!
282
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:56,262
We--we can't have a third season
If we don't have any writers!
283
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,630
>> they love us!
284
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:58,631
Violence!
285
00:09:58,698 --> 00:09:59,498
Ratings!
286
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:00,666
Come on!
287
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,001
Higher ratings!
288
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:09,241
>> ha ha ha--
[lounge music plays]
289
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:13,813
[telephone rings]
>> ha ha ha.
290
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:19,885
[lounge music plays]
[clucking]
291
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,655
[captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group]
292
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,558
[captioned by the national
Captioning institute
293
00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:35,167
--www.Ncicap.Org--]
>> buck.
294
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:36,802
>> uh...
295
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:37,903
I'm...
296
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,973
I'm here to pick up the monkey?
297
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,208
Hello?
298
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:44,276
[telephone rings]
20000
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