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Robot chicken 23 1987
>> [laughing]
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00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:12,345
[whirring]
[captioning made possible by
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00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:22,389
Turner entertainment group]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:43,910
Turner entertainment group]
>> it's alive!
5
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:47,414
>> this here's my town,
And I won't let you take it.
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00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:59,058
>> you just try and stop us.
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00:00:59,125 --> 00:00:59,993
>> yay!
8
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,494
>> hurray!
9
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,495
>> yay!
10
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,897
>> all in a day's work, kids.
11
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:04,664
Ow!
12
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:05,364
Ow!
13
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,366
Kids, what are you doing?!
14
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,333
Ow!
15
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,301
>> yay!
16
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,469
>> ow!
17
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:13,039
Aagh!
18
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:13,840
>> ow!
19
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,108
Paper cut!
20
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:18,378
>> hollywood's turned everything
From old tv shows to video games
21
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,814
To theme park rides into movies.
22
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,617
Now they're tackling board games
Guaranteeing audiences will be
23
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:28,788
Unbored this summer.
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[wolf whistle]
>> in a town torn apart by
25
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:32,892
Crime...
26
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:33,726
>> aagh!
27
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,128
>> the heroes bite back!
28
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,529
>> you boys sure are hungry.
29
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,464
>> hungry...
30
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:38,865
For justice!
31
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:43,770
>> aagh!
32
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,038
>> a hippo playing pool.
33
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:45,738
Ha ha.
34
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:46,673
I'd like to see that.
35
00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:47,507
>> fine.
36
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,009
I'll break.
37
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:54,514
>> it's a race...
38
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,715
>> aagh!
39
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,483
>> help!
40
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,317
Hippos!
41
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,918
>> it's a chase!
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00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:02,989
>> aagh!
43
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:08,661
>> so, hurry up and feed your
Face.
44
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:13,466
"Hungry, hungry hippos!"
>> I always knew them hippos was
45
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,133
Trouble.
46
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,436
[spits]
[ding]
47
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,706
>> officer john chutes
Was born to be a cop.
48
00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:20,640
>> hyah!
49
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,142
>> officer mikey ladders was
Born to be wild.
50
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,711
>> you weren't just robbing one
Man, you know.
51
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:27,213
You gotta think of the
Socio-economic realities
52
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,414
Of the situation.
53
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,550
Oh, I'm sorry, am I punching you
Too hard?
54
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:33,386
>> but this summer, officer
Chutes and officer ladders
55
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,754
Are born to be...
56
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,155
>> partners?!
57
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:37,390
>> ok, well...
58
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:46,933
Let's just do what we do best.
59
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,067
>> yeah!
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00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,836
You kids need to give me some
Respect!
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00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:50,537
Ooh!
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00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:51,704
My dodge balls!
63
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:52,739
Grandma's ashes!
64
00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:56,175
Aagh!
65
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,945
>> ben stiller,
Owen wilson.
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00:02:59,012 --> 00:02:59,946
>> yeah, ok, ok.
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00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,014
I'm enthusiastic.
68
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:01,981
This is good.
69
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,249
This is nice spaghetti.
70
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,517
>> "Chutes and ladders."
71
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:10,456
Also, catch ben stiller in the
Following movies this summer.
72
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,459
>> all we need to do is get past
Security, disable the alarms,
73
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,129
Break into the vault,
And carry $400 billion in
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00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:18,364
Untraceable bills out of the
Casino.
75
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:19,332
>> I think I got a way.
76
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,267
[alarm blares]
>> whoo!
77
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,468
>> whoo!
78
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,337
That's what I call a
Royal flush!
79
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,204
>> jackpot, daddy-o!
80
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,574
Ha ha!
81
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,775
>> "Slip 'n' slide: the movie."
82
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:32,812
This summer, action is all wet
And plastic and you can
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00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:40,253
Slide on it.
84
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,456
>> yee-haw!
85
00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,192
>> aah!
86
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,629
Oh, massage chair,
If we lived in canada,
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00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,698
I would make you my bride.
88
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:52,665
>> skeletor!
89
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,700
>> oh, no.
90
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:57,170
It's mo-larr, eternian dentist.
91
00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:59,973
>> you missed your 10:15
Appointment!
92
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,774
>> I'm busy, mo-larr.
93
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:05,078
>> you have an impacted wisdom
Tooth, skeletor!
94
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,613
It has to come out!
95
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,481
>> I'm a talking skull!
96
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,550
What do I care if--
You know what?
97
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,418
The hell with this.
98
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:17,023
>> the boss man says his
Appointment is cancelled!
99
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,091
Oof!
100
00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:18,791
Oh!
101
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:19,559
Hey!
102
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:22,795
>> I'm all out of mint flavor.
103
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,430
>> aagh!
104
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,433
How come beast-man got
The dental floss and I got the
105
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,402
[bleep] Drill in my eye?!
106
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,803
>> aagh!
107
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,005
Oof!
108
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:34,907
[muttering]
Aagh!
109
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,808
>> success!
110
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,845
>> oh, you son of a bitch!
111
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,347
>> mo-larr, eternian dentist,
Comes with everything you see
112
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,015
Here.
113
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,851
>> [groans]
>> ♪ m-e-a-t
114
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:46,686
M-a-c-h-I-n-e
Meat machine
115
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,855
Meat machine
All right, break ♪
116
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,056
>> ha ha ha ha.
117
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,424
So, I threw the senate at him.
118
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,860
>> [laughter]
>> the whole senate.
119
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:54,560
True story.
120
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,495
>> oh, my god.
121
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:56,963
That is so funny.
122
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,931
>> you made it come out of my
Nose.
123
00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,799
>> ha ha ha.
124
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,835
[telephone rings]
Go for papa palpatine.
125
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,537
>> you have a collect call
From...
126
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,507
>> [mechanical breathing]
Darth vader.
127
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,241
>> ugh.
128
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,275
I gotta take this.
129
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:09,976
Hold on.
130
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,945
Vader, how's my favorite sith?
131
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,847
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
132
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:15,982
Just slow down.
133
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,383
Huh?
134
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,119
What do you mean they blew up
The death star?!
135
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,621
[bleep]!
136
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,589
Oh, [bleep] [bleep]!
137
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,025
[bleep]!
138
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,461
Who's they?!
139
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,164
What the hell is an
Aluminum falcon?
140
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,632
Ok, ok.
141
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,300
So, who's left?
142
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,034
Are you [bleep] Me?!
143
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,704
Well, where are you?!
144
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:38,838
Wait a sec.
145
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,306
You've been flying around for
Two weeks trying to get a
146
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,407
Signal?
147
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,675
Oh, you must smell like...
148
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:47,380
Feet wrapped in leathery, burnt
Bacon.
149
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,681
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry.
150
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:51,417
I thought my dark lord of the
Sith could protect a small
151
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,087
Thermal exhaust port that's only
Two meters wide.
152
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,355
That thing wasn't even fully
Paid off yet!
153
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:58,391
Do you have--do you have any
Idea what this is gonna do to my
154
00:05:58,457 --> 00:05:59,258
Credit?
155
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:00,760
[telephone beeps]
Oh, hang on.
156
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,928
I got another call.
157
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:02,595
What?!
158
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:04,330
I'm very busy right now!
159
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:05,465
Oh.
160
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,399
Oh, well.
161
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,767
Well, where are they going?
162
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:08,601
Oh.
163
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,302
All right.
164
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:10,136
Um...
165
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,338
Just get me a turkey club.
166
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,340
Uh, cole slaw, I guess.
167
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,775
I'm not even gonna eat it.
168
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,678
What--what--what are you
Getting?
169
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:21,013
No, see, I always order the
Wrong thing.
170
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:21,914
No, no, no.
171
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:23,282
I'll just stick with that.
172
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:24,016
Ok, bye.
173
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:25,084
Wait, what?
174
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,686
Oh, cherry coke.
175
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:27,754
Thanks.
176
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:28,688
Sorry about that.
177
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,324
[sighs]
What?
178
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:33,058
Oh, oh, just rebuild it?
179
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,827
Oh, that--real, real [bleep]
Original!
180
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,529
And who's going to give me a
Loan, jack-hole?
181
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:37,396
You?!
182
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,699
You got an atm on that
Torso lite-brite?
183
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:43,034
Now, get your 7'2" asthmatic ass
Back here or I'm gonna tell
184
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:46,239
Everyone what a whiney bitch you
Were about patomommi or panda
185
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,207
Bear or whatever the hell her
Name is!
186
00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:49,876
Oh, jeez!
187
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:50,576
He's crying.
188
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:51,944
Ha ha ha.
189
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,513
Hey, hey, hey.
190
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,480
Hey, come on.
191
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:55,148
Come on.
192
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:55,948
Don't do that.
193
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,183
Just, just...
194
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,619
Look, you know, I'm just dealing
With a lot of crap right now.
195
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,455
Death star blown up by
A bunch of [bleep] Teenagers,
196
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:03,723
You know...
197
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,893
I didn't mean to snap.
198
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,094
Oh--ok--ok.
199
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,662
Just get back here.
200
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:10,396
Ok.
201
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,430
Ok, bye.
202
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,331
I--yeah.
203
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:15,802
I--
I love you, too.
204
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:18,905
>> and then this sap will be
Made into yummy maple syrup.
205
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,807
Now, what is wrong here?
206
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:21,707
>> oh, yeah!
207
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:22,642
Almost there.
208
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:24,343
Almost there.
209
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,145
>> this in the name of science,
Boy.
210
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:29,282
We gonna conduct an experiment
Up inside uranus.
211
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,118
Now, squeal like a pig!
212
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,720
>> fight!
213
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,157
Finish him.
214
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,592
>> pressure's down to 60.
215
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:40,293
>> damn it!
216
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:41,460
He's losing too much blood.
217
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,362
Don't you die on me, you hear?
218
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:53,406
Nurse, get me more o-neg, stat!
219
00:07:53,472 --> 00:08:10,389
Nurse, get me more o-neg, stat!
220
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:11,357
>> feeling better?
221
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,725
>> I feel great.
222
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:16,495
>> finish him!
223
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,998
>> good night, love bug!
224
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,033
You know, you gotta watch that
Flirting.
225
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,803
I'll get you into trouble!
226
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:24,570
Trouble.
227
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:37,582
Whoa!
228
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,852
>> shh!
229
00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:47,059
[horn honking]
>> what have you been
230
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,861
Sleeping on?
231
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:52,298
>> pan-global oil keeps dumping
Sludge into the atlantic ocean.
232
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,834
>> that burns my ass!
233
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:55,801
>> forget it, ted.
234
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,169
There's nothing you can do.
235
00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:04,777
>> maybe I can't,
But captain planet can!
236
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:12,919
Captain planet!
237
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,754
Captain planet!
238
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:15,922
>> oh!
239
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:23,996
>> captain planet!
240
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,131
Captain planet!
241
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,766
>> where are we gonna dump our
Sludge next?
242
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,734
>> well, the grand canyon could
Hold a lot of sludge.
243
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:29,835
>> oh, it sure could.
244
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,203
>> yeah, let's sludge the hell
Out of the grand canyon.
245
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,004
>> yeah!
246
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,472
Is that ted turner?
247
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:34,307
>> I think it is.
248
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,241
What the hell's he doing?
249
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:35,942
>> I don't know.
250
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:36,709
He's on one of those zip-lines.
251
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:37,543
>> oh, yeah.
252
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,778
Is that what they're called,
Zip-lines?
253
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:39,612
>> yeah, zip-lines.
254
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:40,780
>> well, I always thought it
Was--ooh!
255
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,415
>> captain planet!
256
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,116
>> you got glass in my eye!
257
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,352
>> and my foot in your balls!
258
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,221
Captain planet!
259
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:50,690
>> what do you want,
Mr. Turner?!
260
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,759
>> just sign this pledge not to
Dump any more sludge and I'll
261
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:54,760
Let you go!
262
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,362
>> ok, ok!
263
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,431
>> this appears to be in order.
264
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,166
Captain planet!
265
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:06,405
>> [screaming]
>> protect the environment
266
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,708
Or I'll [bleep] Kill you!
267
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,744
Captain planet!
268
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,745
>> you heard it here, folks.
269
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,481
The biggest catch-phrase
The new millennium will
270
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,050
Be "Captain planet!"
My friends say it all the time.
271
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,652
And then we kick each other in
The nuts.
272
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,953
Oh, that's awesome!
273
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,289
>> as the opening credit
Sequence basically tells you,
274
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,258
You are the chicken forced to
Watch this [bleep].
275
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,526
>> am I getting paid for this?
276
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,129
>> if I had a toy of myself,
I'd have to make out with it.
277
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:30,796
>> yeah, ooh!
278
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:31,497
Twinkie the kid.
279
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,732
That's topical.
280
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,532
>> mmm!
281
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:34,300
Mmm!
282
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,901
>> hey, here's another great
Thing.
283
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,104
We're gonna do movie parodies.
284
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,407
>> does the world need another
Owen wilson, ben stiller movie?
285
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,743
The answer is an emphatic yes.
286
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:44,744
>> "Chutes and ladders."
287
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,678
What, are you kidding me?!
288
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:46,512
A travesty!
289
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,014
This is comedy to these people.
290
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,117
>> yes, yes, yes,
And more yes.
291
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,351
>> mmm!
292
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:53,919
>> it used to be that when your
Career was on the down slope,
293
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,221
You'd just go to infomercials.
294
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:57,023
Now, you go to "Robot chicken."
295
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:57,757
>> mmm!
296
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:58,824
Mmm!
297
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,593
>> the best "Robot chicken"
Ever--couldn't be a more
298
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:01,961
Opposite statement.
299
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,496
That show stinks.
300
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,297
>> it's not gay,
It's masturbation.
301
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,733
>> people watch this on
Television!
302
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,402
They chose this!
303
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:12,671
>> [clucking]
[captioning made possible by
304
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,441
Turner entertainment group]
[captioned by the national
305
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:23,749
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--]
306
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:29,655
>> bock.
307
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,724
>> stoopid monkey.
19657
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