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1
00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:06,039
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
2
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:11,077
[power tools whirring]
3
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,019
- it's alive!
4
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,273
- mm! Oh, no! Ohh!
5
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,376
- ahhhhh...
6
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,711
Yeah.
7
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:45,779
You're a bitch.
8
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:48,281
- ha ha ha!
Sorry, little girl,
9
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,616
But queen beryl
Needs your life force
10
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,718
In order to take over
The planet earth.
11
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:52,619
Ha ha ha!
12
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,587
- serena, change
Into sailor moon, quickly.
13
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:59,092
- right. Moon. Prism. Power.
14
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,629
Ohh...
15
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,601
In the name of the moon,
I will punish--
16
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,270
Oh, my god.
17
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,138
- ha ha ha! Hmm!
18
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,908
What? What is it?
Oh, man! Oh!
19
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,377
I--I don't know
Why that happened.
20
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,112
- jeez.
- I'm so sorry.
21
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,848
That is so disrespectful of me.
22
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,316
You are pretty hot, though.
23
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,285
- should we still fight?
24
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:27,120
Because I don't really
Want to anymore.
25
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,355
- um, you know, the moment
Has definitely passed.
26
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,224
- all right. See you next time.
27
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,526
- yeah, sure. Ok. Another time.
28
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:37,464
- aw, yeah, man.
I am ridged for her pleasure.
29
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:38,664
- big talk for a virgin.
30
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:42,168
- if I poon enough noobs,
I can raise my rank
31
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,103
In the server from 3 to 1.
32
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,771
- be our 99th caller right now
33
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,775
To win our
"Mission: impossible 3" contest.
34
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,843
- ooh, ooh.
35
00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:50,777
[telephone rings]
36
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,112
- hello. You're our 99th caller.
- excellent!
37
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,081
- you win your choice
Of a gameboy advance
38
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:59,085
Or a date with "M:I 3" star
Scarlet johansson.
39
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,520
- can I have both?
- no.
40
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,689
- do I have to choose right now?
- yes.
41
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,858
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...
42
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:05,859
Ooooohhh...
43
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,426
Ummmmmmmmm...
44
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,795
Uhhhhhhhh...
45
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,098
Ummmmmmmmmmm...
46
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:16,436
Ohhhhhhhhhhh...
47
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,605
Uhhhhhhhh...
48
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,173
I guess I choose
Scarlet johansson.
49
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,877
[piano playing
Fifties rock-and-roll ballad]
50
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:28,147
- look. Can't I just roll down
The window and shake his hand?
51
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,383
- no. The contest
Specifies lunch.
52
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,918
- crap in a hat.
53
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,221
- so do you ever play the sims?
54
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:38,291
I made a scarlet johansson sim,
And she lived in my house,
55
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,692
And sometimes we went
In the hot tub together,
56
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,629
But I forgot to buy
A fire extinguisher,
57
00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:44,898
So there was a grease fire
In the kitchen,
58
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,466
And scarlet died.
59
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,167
- mm-hmm.
- give us all your money.
60
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,471
- aah! Leave us alone,
You hooligans.
61
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,072
Hi-jah! Ki-cha!
62
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,841
- he fights like a tiger.
63
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,243
- let's get out of here.
64
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,378
That was so stellar.
65
00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,747
- gary is totally
Gonna score now.
66
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:04,417
- you--you saved me.
You're my hero.
67
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,319
- [slurp]
68
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,187
Mmm...
69
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:17,430
- do you take this be'hom
To be your be'nal?
70
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,832
- hi-jah!
71
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,703
- a-goo. Goo goo goo.
72
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,139
- scarlet, my love,
73
00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:29,208
There's something
I must tell you before I die.
74
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,143
- what is it, my love?
75
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,879
- I staged the whole fight
On our first date.
76
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,882
I won your heart
Under false pretenses.
77
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,317
- [gasp] Oh, thank god.
78
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,353
I have something
To tell you, too.
79
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,689
I'm not really
Scarlet johansson.
80
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:47,560
I was just a professional
Scarlet johansson impersonator.
81
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,561
Ahem.
82
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,663
[deep voice] My real name
Is raymond dibonatello
83
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,265
From queens, new york.
84
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,066
- [gasp]
85
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:56,035
That explains
Why scarlet johansson
86
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,972
Had a giant johansson.
87
00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,007
[rapid beeping]
88
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,542
[long beep]
89
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:03,710
- oh!
90
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,311
[sobs]
91
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,448
Oh, go in peace, my angel.
92
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,583
[sobs]
93
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:16,089
- queen beryl,
I have failed to bring you
Sailor moon's life force.
94
00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:17,023
- you fool!
95
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,125
Your utter incompetence
Is dwarfed
96
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,661
Only by your sheer stupidity.
97
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,130
Ew!
- oh! Oh! I'm sorry,
Your majesty.
98
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,900
I just--I kind of like it
When you yell at me.
99
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:30,870
It's hot.
100
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,651
- it's my job
To provide a bridge
101
00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,719
Between the blokes
At the top of the ladder
102
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,188
Like cobra commander
And serpentor
103
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:50,890
And the peons at the bottom.
104
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,093
I help the peons feel valuable,
105
00:04:54,159 --> 00:04:56,796
Although it helps
Not to call them peons.
106
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,431
- here's that report
You wanted, sir.
107
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:02,769
- I told you
Not to staple it, wretch!
108
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,537
So I'm the bridge.
109
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,305
- yeah. Cloning
Is an integral part
110
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,975
Of cobra's plan
For world domination.
111
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,476
- hail cobra!
- hail cobra.
112
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,945
Basically, my job is to defrag
The dna sequencer
113
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,682
Before each cloning
And juice the capacitor--
114
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,984
- hail cobra!
- hail cobra.
115
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,886
And monitor the plasma feed.
116
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:20,987
I started out in accounting,
117
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,589
But there's a lot more room
For advancement down here.
118
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,792
- bail nobra!
- bail nobr--oh.
119
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,960
Oh, hang on a second.
120
00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,095
- yeah. Well, you know,
121
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,596
Establishing
The cobra brand name
Is a priority for us,
122
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:34,200
So we put the cobra logo
On just about everything.
123
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,936
- hey, safety is job one
Here at cobra.
124
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,571
We fully comply
With osha standards.
125
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,908
It's been 34 days since
Our last on-site accident.
126
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,544
The weather dominator exploded,
127
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,780
And, uh, we lost about 110 guys.
128
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,716
You can still kind of see
129
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,952
What's left
Of scott anderson up there.
130
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,454
We really should get that down.
131
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,522
You know, we've been
Chucking a softball at it,
132
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:57,623
But it's up there pretty good.
133
00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,660
- interoffice romances
Are strictly forbidden.
134
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,029
There's a very good reason
For that.
135
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,163
They're a distraction.
136
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,867
They cut down on productivity,
And they always end badly.
137
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:08,901
- bwah ha ha ha!
138
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,738
- training and reeducation
Isn't just about combat.
139
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,007
It's also about learning
The whole cobra mind set.
140
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,076
Ok. Let's say you want
To take out the g.I. Joe
141
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:22,281
Quickly and quietly without
Alerting the other members
Of his unit.
142
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,150
- I'd use a gas pellet.
143
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,618
- you're on the right track.
144
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,620
- I'd weave, like,
A wicker basket
145
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,156
And construct
A robot snake in it
146
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,191
That, like, shoots gas
Out of its mouth.
147
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,526
- excellent. Anyone else?
148
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,728
- oh, well, I'd totally do
What frank said,
149
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:39,665
With the basket and all,
But I'd also yell, "Cobra!"
150
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,700
- perfect.
151
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:44,170
- now I know.
- and knowing
Is half the battle.
152
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,973
- date rape! Date rape!
153
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,641
Date rape! Date rape!
154
00:06:48,707 --> 00:06:51,644
- soon, I will have
Your life force, sailor moon,
155
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:56,549
And my plan to rule the earth
Will come to fruition.
156
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,217
Ooh.
157
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,887
Anime sure is weird.
158
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:04,624
- ray charles, you talented,
But you ruined my life...
159
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,027
- coming next christmas,
"Ray 2: ray's day out."
160
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:11,631
- just like you ruined
So many women before me.
161
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,466
It's not your fault
Your little brother
162
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,835
Fell into that washtub
And drowned.
163
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,437
You got to face your problems.
164
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,939
Ow!
165
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,507
Damn!
166
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:26,179
Ray! My back is broken.
Oh, god, ray.
167
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,815
You blind son of a bitch.
168
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:33,719
You killed me ray,
You blind son of a bitch.
169
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,720
- waah!
170
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,624
- "Ray 2: ray's day out,"
Coming next christmas.
171
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,235
- haw haw!
172
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,704
- haw haw!
173
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:57,677
- tonight, the top 10 things
Eddie buttskin should never say.
174
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:58,511
Number ten...
175
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,280
- if you die,
Could I have your room?
176
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:02,748
- number 9...
177
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,052
- me so horny.
Me love you long time.
178
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,520
- number 8...
179
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,122
- there's blood when I wipe.
180
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,190
- number 7...
181
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,860
- I'm going to eat your face
On tv, david letterman.
182
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,795
- wait. That's kind of specific.
183
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,364
- [growls]
- aah! Aah!
184
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,299
Oh, god, help me! Oh, god!
185
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,468
Aah! Aah! Aah!
186
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,604
- [growls]
187
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,172
[rim shot]
188
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,940
[ekg beeping]
189
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,475
- mmm.
190
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,543
Ahh.
191
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,212
- ha ha! Ok. Ok, guys.
That's a lot of--
192
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,380
Hey, quit it. Hey, get off.
193
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,649
Hey, you guys, stop it!
Come on! Stop!
194
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,217
[applause]
195
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:42,788
- is everyone ready
For some hilarious home videos?
196
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,023
[laughter]
197
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,826
We here at "Bloopers" central
Asked you to send in your tapes
198
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:50,029
So we can produce this show
For almost nothing.
199
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:54,433
We thought we'd see nut shots
And seniors falling down,
200
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:58,704
But these tragedies
Kicked it up a notch--bam!
201
00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,672
Did I say, "Bam"?
202
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,742
Let's hope, for this guy's sake,
That I didn't.
203
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,344
- move it, pop.
Out of the way, old man.
204
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:06,712
- move your ass, damn it.
205
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,214
Go! Whoo hoo!
- go! Whoo hoo!
206
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,515
Now we're going!
207
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,718
[train horn blows]
208
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,889
- ha ha ha! It's what you get.
209
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:17,957
Oh!
210
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,259
- and they say you can't solve
The homeless problem.
211
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,360
[laughter]
212
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:24,230
Some problems can't be solved
By sticking you nose in
213
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,032
Where it doesn't belong.
214
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,768
- honey, be careful.
- shut up.
215
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,604
- maybe a mechanic
Could fix it better.
216
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:35,808
- I can do it
If you just shut up.
217
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:37,610
- mama, I'm pregnant.
218
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,811
- no!
- no!
219
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,280
- hey, she told me
She was on the pill...
220
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,715
[laughter]
221
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:43,883
And 18.
222
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,385
Hidden cameras can yield
Cherished memories
223
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,955
Or incriminating evidence.
224
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,790
The only x-factor is you.
225
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,192
- what are you doing, sweetie?
226
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,560
- oh, nothing, nothing.
227
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,762
- you ready?
- uh-huh.
228
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,030
- ohh...Huh!
229
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,599
Oh, god! Oh, I'm sorry.
230
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,802
- you [beep]Ing loser!
231
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,770
You have failed me
As a boyfriend,
232
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:07,406
And you have
Failed yourself as a man,
233
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:11,444
"Robot chicken" co-head writer
Douglas goldstein!
234
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,812
- bet you didn't
See that coming.
235
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,614
Matter of fact, neither did she.
236
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,882
[laughter]
237
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:17,817
This video was sent in
238
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,519
By someone who found it
In the woods.
239
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,988
Let's watch.
240
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:22,922
- josh!
- michael!
241
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,524
- I'm coming, josh!
- wait for me! Michael!
242
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,660
Michael, wait for me!
243
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,128
Michael!
244
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,696
Ahh!
245
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:31,764
[splat]
246
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,800
- rumor has it, those kids
Were torn limb from limb.
247
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:40,139
Sometimes the best home videos
Can be taken away from home.
248
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:44,977
Just watch these
Crazy vacation videos.
249
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,380
- blaagh!
250
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,835
- that's all the time we have
For this episode.
251
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:14,707
So come back next week for more
Hilarious home videos.
252
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:18,411
[applause]
253
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:22,014
[laughter]
254
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,320
[applause]
255
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,156
- ♪ buck buck buck
Buck-buck buck buck ♪
256
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:31,757
♪ buck buck buck
Buck-a buck-a ♪
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00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:32,858
♪ buck buck buck... ♪
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Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
259
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:46,238
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
18100
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