All language subtitles for Robot Chicken - S01E14 - Joint Point (1080p x265 EDGEa2020).eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:06,039 Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group 2 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:11,077 [power tools whirring] 3 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,019 - it's alive! 4 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,273 - mm! Oh, no! Ohh! 5 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,376 - ahhhhh... 6 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,711 Yeah. 7 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:45,779 You're a bitch. 8 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:48,281 - ha ha ha! Sorry, little girl, 9 00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,616 But queen beryl Needs your life force 10 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,718 In order to take over The planet earth. 11 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:52,619 Ha ha ha! 12 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,587 - serena, change Into sailor moon, quickly. 13 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:59,092 - right. Moon. Prism. Power. 14 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,629 Ohh... 15 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,601 In the name of the moon, I will punish-- 16 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,270 Oh, my god. 17 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,138 - ha ha ha! Hmm! 18 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,908 What? What is it? Oh, man! Oh! 19 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,377 I--I don't know Why that happened. 20 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,112 - jeez. - I'm so sorry. 21 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,848 That is so disrespectful of me. 22 00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,316 You are pretty hot, though. 23 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,285 - should we still fight? 24 00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:27,120 Because I don't really Want to anymore. 25 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,355 - um, you know, the moment Has definitely passed. 26 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,224 - all right. See you next time. 27 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,526 - yeah, sure. Ok. Another time. 28 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:37,464 - aw, yeah, man. I am ridged for her pleasure. 29 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:38,664 - big talk for a virgin. 30 00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:42,168 - if I poon enough noobs, I can raise my rank 31 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,103 In the server from 3 to 1. 32 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,771 - be our 99th caller right now 33 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,775 To win our "Mission: impossible 3" contest. 34 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,843 - ooh, ooh. 35 00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:50,777 [telephone rings] 36 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,112 - hello. You're our 99th caller. - excellent! 37 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,081 - you win your choice Of a gameboy advance 38 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:59,085 Or a date with "M:I 3" star Scarlet johansson. 39 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,520 - can I have both? - no. 40 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,689 - do I have to choose right now? - yes. 41 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,858 Ohhhhhhhhhhhh... 42 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:05,859 Ooooohhh... 43 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,426 Ummmmmmmmm... 44 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,795 Uhhhhhhhh... 45 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,098 Ummmmmmmmmmm... 46 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:16,436 Ohhhhhhhhhhh... 47 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,605 Uhhhhhhhh... 48 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,173 I guess I choose Scarlet johansson. 49 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,877 [piano playing Fifties rock-and-roll ballad] 50 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:28,147 - look. Can't I just roll down The window and shake his hand? 51 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,383 - no. The contest Specifies lunch. 52 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,918 - crap in a hat. 53 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,221 - so do you ever play the sims? 54 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:38,291 I made a scarlet johansson sim, And she lived in my house, 55 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,692 And sometimes we went In the hot tub together, 56 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,629 But I forgot to buy A fire extinguisher, 57 00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:44,898 So there was a grease fire In the kitchen, 58 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,466 And scarlet died. 59 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,167 - mm-hmm. - give us all your money. 60 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,471 - aah! Leave us alone, You hooligans. 61 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,072 Hi-jah! Ki-cha! 62 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,841 - he fights like a tiger. 63 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,243 - let's get out of here. 64 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,378 That was so stellar. 65 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,747 - gary is totally Gonna score now. 66 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:04,417 - you--you saved me. You're my hero. 67 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,319 - [slurp] 68 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,187 Mmm... 69 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:17,430 - do you take this be'hom To be your be'nal? 70 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,832 - hi-jah! 71 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,703 - a-goo. Goo goo goo. 72 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,139 - scarlet, my love, 73 00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:29,208 There's something I must tell you before I die. 74 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,143 - what is it, my love? 75 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,879 - I staged the whole fight On our first date. 76 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,882 I won your heart Under false pretenses. 77 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,317 - [gasp] Oh, thank god. 78 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,353 I have something To tell you, too. 79 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,689 I'm not really Scarlet johansson. 80 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:47,560 I was just a professional Scarlet johansson impersonator. 81 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,561 Ahem. 82 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,663 [deep voice] My real name Is raymond dibonatello 83 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,265 From queens, new york. 84 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,066 - [gasp] 85 00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:56,035 That explains Why scarlet johansson 86 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,972 Had a giant johansson. 87 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,007 [rapid beeping] 88 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,542 [long beep] 89 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:03,710 - oh! 90 00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,311 [sobs] 91 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,448 Oh, go in peace, my angel. 92 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,583 [sobs] 93 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:16,089 - queen beryl, I have failed to bring you Sailor moon's life force. 94 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:17,023 - you fool! 95 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,125 Your utter incompetence Is dwarfed 96 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,661 Only by your sheer stupidity. 97 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,130 Ew! - oh! Oh! I'm sorry, Your majesty. 98 00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,900 I just--I kind of like it When you yell at me. 99 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:30,870 It's hot. 100 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,651 - it's my job To provide a bridge 101 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,719 Between the blokes At the top of the ladder 102 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,188 Like cobra commander And serpentor 103 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:50,890 And the peons at the bottom. 104 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,093 I help the peons feel valuable, 105 00:04:54,159 --> 00:04:56,796 Although it helps Not to call them peons. 106 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,431 - here's that report You wanted, sir. 107 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:02,769 - I told you Not to staple it, wretch! 108 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,537 So I'm the bridge. 109 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,305 - yeah. Cloning Is an integral part 110 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,975 Of cobra's plan For world domination. 111 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,476 - hail cobra! - hail cobra. 112 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,945 Basically, my job is to defrag The dna sequencer 113 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,682 Before each cloning And juice the capacitor-- 114 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,984 - hail cobra! - hail cobra. 115 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,886 And monitor the plasma feed. 116 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:20,987 I started out in accounting, 117 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,589 But there's a lot more room For advancement down here. 118 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,792 - bail nobra! - bail nobr--oh. 119 00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,960 Oh, hang on a second. 120 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,095 - yeah. Well, you know, 121 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,596 Establishing The cobra brand name Is a priority for us, 122 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:34,200 So we put the cobra logo On just about everything. 123 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,936 - hey, safety is job one Here at cobra. 124 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,571 We fully comply With osha standards. 125 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,908 It's been 34 days since Our last on-site accident. 126 00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,544 The weather dominator exploded, 127 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,780 And, uh, we lost about 110 guys. 128 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,716 You can still kind of see 129 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,952 What's left Of scott anderson up there. 130 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,454 We really should get that down. 131 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,522 You know, we've been Chucking a softball at it, 132 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:57,623 But it's up there pretty good. 133 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,660 - interoffice romances Are strictly forbidden. 134 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,029 There's a very good reason For that. 135 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,163 They're a distraction. 136 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,867 They cut down on productivity, And they always end badly. 137 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:08,901 - bwah ha ha ha! 138 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,738 - training and reeducation Isn't just about combat. 139 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,007 It's also about learning The whole cobra mind set. 140 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,076 Ok. Let's say you want To take out the g.I. Joe 141 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:22,281 Quickly and quietly without Alerting the other members Of his unit. 142 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,150 - I'd use a gas pellet. 143 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,618 - you're on the right track. 144 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,620 - I'd weave, like, A wicker basket 145 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,156 And construct A robot snake in it 146 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,191 That, like, shoots gas Out of its mouth. 147 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,526 - excellent. Anyone else? 148 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,728 - oh, well, I'd totally do What frank said, 149 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:39,665 With the basket and all, But I'd also yell, "Cobra!" 150 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,700 - perfect. 151 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:44,170 - now I know. - and knowing Is half the battle. 152 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,973 - date rape! Date rape! 153 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,641 Date rape! Date rape! 154 00:06:48,707 --> 00:06:51,644 - soon, I will have Your life force, sailor moon, 155 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:56,549 And my plan to rule the earth Will come to fruition. 156 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,217 Ooh. 157 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,887 Anime sure is weird. 158 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:04,624 - ray charles, you talented, But you ruined my life... 159 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,027 - coming next christmas, "Ray 2: ray's day out." 160 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:11,631 - just like you ruined So many women before me. 161 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,466 It's not your fault Your little brother 162 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,835 Fell into that washtub And drowned. 163 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,437 You got to face your problems. 164 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,939 Ow! 165 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,507 Damn! 166 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:26,179 Ray! My back is broken. Oh, god, ray. 167 00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,815 You blind son of a bitch. 168 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:33,719 You killed me ray, You blind son of a bitch. 169 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,720 - waah! 170 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,624 - "Ray 2: ray's day out," Coming next christmas. 171 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,235 - haw haw! 172 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,704 - haw haw! 173 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:57,677 - tonight, the top 10 things Eddie buttskin should never say. 174 00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:58,511 Number ten... 175 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,280 - if you die, Could I have your room? 176 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:02,748 - number 9... 177 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,052 - me so horny. Me love you long time. 178 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,520 - number 8... 179 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,122 - there's blood when I wipe. 180 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,190 - number 7... 181 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,860 - I'm going to eat your face On tv, david letterman. 182 00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,795 - wait. That's kind of specific. 183 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,364 - [growls] - aah! Aah! 184 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,299 Oh, god, help me! Oh, god! 185 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,468 Aah! Aah! Aah! 186 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,604 - [growls] 187 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,172 [rim shot] 188 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,940 [ekg beeping] 189 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,475 - mmm. 190 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,543 Ahh. 191 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,212 - ha ha! Ok. Ok, guys. That's a lot of-- 192 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,380 Hey, quit it. Hey, get off. 193 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,649 Hey, you guys, stop it! Come on! Stop! 194 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,217 [applause] 195 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:42,788 - is everyone ready For some hilarious home videos? 196 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,023 [laughter] 197 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,826 We here at "Bloopers" central Asked you to send in your tapes 198 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:50,029 So we can produce this show For almost nothing. 199 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:54,433 We thought we'd see nut shots And seniors falling down, 200 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:58,704 But these tragedies Kicked it up a notch--bam! 201 00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,672 Did I say, "Bam"? 202 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,742 Let's hope, for this guy's sake, That I didn't. 203 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,344 - move it, pop. Out of the way, old man. 204 00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:06,712 - move your ass, damn it. 205 00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,214 Go! Whoo hoo! - go! Whoo hoo! 206 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,515 Now we're going! 207 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,718 [train horn blows] 208 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,889 - ha ha ha! It's what you get. 209 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:17,957 Oh! 210 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,259 - and they say you can't solve The homeless problem. 211 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,360 [laughter] 212 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:24,230 Some problems can't be solved By sticking you nose in 213 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,032 Where it doesn't belong. 214 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,768 - honey, be careful. - shut up. 215 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,604 - maybe a mechanic Could fix it better. 216 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:35,808 - I can do it If you just shut up. 217 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:37,610 - mama, I'm pregnant. 218 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,811 - no! - no! 219 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,280 - hey, she told me She was on the pill... 220 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,715 [laughter] 221 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:43,883 And 18. 222 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,385 Hidden cameras can yield Cherished memories 223 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,955 Or incriminating evidence. 224 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,790 The only x-factor is you. 225 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,192 - what are you doing, sweetie? 226 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,560 - oh, nothing, nothing. 227 00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,762 - you ready? - uh-huh. 228 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,030 - ohh...Huh! 229 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,599 Oh, god! Oh, I'm sorry. 230 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,802 - you [beep]Ing loser! 231 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,770 You have failed me As a boyfriend, 232 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:07,406 And you have Failed yourself as a man, 233 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:11,444 "Robot chicken" co-head writer Douglas goldstein! 234 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,812 - bet you didn't See that coming. 235 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,614 Matter of fact, neither did she. 236 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,882 [laughter] 237 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:17,817 This video was sent in 238 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,519 By someone who found it In the woods. 239 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,988 Let's watch. 240 00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:22,922 - josh! - michael! 241 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,524 - I'm coming, josh! - wait for me! Michael! 242 00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,660 Michael, wait for me! 243 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,128 Michael! 244 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,696 Ahh! 245 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:31,764 [splat] 246 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,800 - rumor has it, those kids Were torn limb from limb. 247 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:40,139 Sometimes the best home videos Can be taken away from home. 248 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:44,977 Just watch these Crazy vacation videos. 249 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,380 - blaagh! 250 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,835 - that's all the time we have For this episode. 251 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:14,707 So come back next week for more Hilarious home videos. 252 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:18,411 [applause] 253 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:22,014 [laughter] 254 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,320 [applause] 255 00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,156 - ♪ buck buck buck Buck-buck buck buck ♪ 256 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:31,757 ♪ buck buck buck Buck-a buck-a ♪ 257 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:32,858 ♪ buck buck buck... ♪ 258 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:37,630 Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group 259 00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:46,238 Captioned by the national Captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 18100

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.