Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:08,308
[laughing]
2
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,910
[whirring]
3
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,484
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
4
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,053
- it's alive!
5
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,038
- flip the switch!
6
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,273
- the governor just called!
7
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,741
This man is innocent!
8
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:42,742
- aw.
9
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:43,376
- boo.
10
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,278
- all right, show of hands.
11
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,513
Flip it anyway?
12
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,248
- wait, wait! What?!
13
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,383
- [cheering]
14
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,018
- kill him!
15
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,197
- 7-mary-3 in pursuit of--
16
00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:05,165
Hold on!
17
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,233
Whoo-hoo!
18
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,535
- whoo! Whoo!
19
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:09,803
"Trl" is awesome!
20
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:10,703
I love sway!
21
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,305
"Trl" in time's square
On mtv is the best!
22
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,340
Sway rules! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
23
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,142
- welcome back to "Trl."
24
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,043
As I promised,
25
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,179
I present to you usher!
26
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,780
- oh, my god! I love usher!
27
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,248
Whoo-hoo! Usher's awesome!
28
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,149
He doesn't wear a shirt!
29
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:24,217
And he gets in all the places!
30
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:25,652
I swear I'm gonna get him!
31
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:26,586
Whoo-hoo!
32
00:01:26,652 --> 00:01:27,520
All right, I guess
I'll see you later! Whoo!
33
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,856
Whoo-hoo! To grand
Central station! Whoo-hoo!
34
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:30,890
People call it grand
Central station,
35
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,358
But it's really
Grand central terminal!
36
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,526
It's awesome! Whoo-hoo!
37
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:34,661
Whoo-hoo! Keep the change!
38
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,362
Foreign cabbies rock!
The fare was $7.00,
39
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,964
And I totally gave him 10,
And that's awesome!
40
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,699
'cause immigrants
Need money! Whoo-hoo!
41
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:41,434
Metro north's hudson
River line rules!
42
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,136
I'm saving $5.00
On a monthly pass.
43
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,038
And somebody smells! Whoo-hoo!
44
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:45,905
Whoo-hoo!
45
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:46,840
Mom's mashed potatoes
Are the greatest!
46
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:47,973
There's some carrots
And peas in there, too!
47
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,375
Mom and dad aren't fighting
Tonight, and that's awesome!
48
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,444
I already finished my homework.
That rocks! Whoo-hoo!
49
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:52,912
Whoo-hoo! I'm all
Tucked in to bed
50
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,682
And I said my nightly prayers
'cause god is awesome!
51
00:01:55,747 --> 00:01:56,649
Whoo-hoo!
52
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:58,283
And now I'm gonna drift
Off to sleep 'cause...
53
00:01:58,351 --> 00:01:59,219
I'm dreaming...
54
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,488
I gotta...Whoo-hoo.
55
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,623
Gotta...Go to bed...
56
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,291
Whoo-hoo.
57
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:06,526
Whoo.
58
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:07,160
Hoo.
59
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,362
- more butter! More butter!
60
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,431
More butter! Oh, yeah! Yeah!
61
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,499
Give it, give it, give it!
62
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:14,567
I gotta put it in my--
63
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,270
[grunting]
64
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,039
Oh, yeah, butter!
65
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:22,642
[gurgling]
66
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,978
[roars]
67
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,680
- excuse me, but if your people
68
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:29,616
Built this wall to
Keep king kong out,
69
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,784
Well then why build
A door large enough
70
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,353
For him to get through?
71
00:02:33,418 --> 00:02:35,922
[snarls]
72
00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:42,662
For that matter,
73
00:02:42,728 --> 00:02:44,097
Kong is a giant monkey.
74
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:47,100
Why couldn't he just
Climb over the wall?
75
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,202
[roaring]
76
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,937
- [screaming]
77
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,305
- the new fall tv
Season is starting,
78
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,608
And "The insider" has the scoop
On all the new series.
79
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,076
P.S. To the competition:
80
00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:58,211
Go [bleep] Yourselves.
81
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,780
This year's "Amazing race"
Will be more amazing than ever
82
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,950
Now that religious deities
Are joining the action.
83
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,886
- oh, jesus, please help us!
84
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,388
Jesus!
85
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,188
- I'm here.
86
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,457
I've brought you
A tire iron, my son.
87
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:12,392
- praise jesus!
88
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,994
- mr. Christ, please
Help steer this camel.
89
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:15,995
- oh, lord jesus,
90
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,264
We could really
Go for some cab fare.
91
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:18,965
- whoo-hoo!
92
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,667
Buddha's the way to go, jackass!
93
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,969
- buddha's all up in your grill!
94
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,771
- tired of their
Liberal shenanigans,
95
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:25,638
Fox owner rupert murdoch
96
00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:27,173
Fired "Simpsons"
Creator matt groening
97
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,377
And promises same show,
Brand new attitude this season.
98
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,178
- morning, apu.
99
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,480
One order of
Freedom fries, please.
100
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,683
- oh, for the love
Of my heathen god.
101
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:39,519
They're called french fries,
You fat, stupid american!
102
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,555
- department of homeland
Security! Don't move!
103
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,223
- but--
104
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,793
- happy birthday, america!
105
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:47,560
- mmm.
106
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,628
I hope apu has
Learned his lesson.
107
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,164
- I am so sorry I ever
Dared question
108
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:55,401
The wisdom and strength of
The united states of america.
109
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,803
- damn straight!
110
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,338
Yee-haw!
111
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,307
- uh-oh. J-lo's new beau
Is a no-go on the phono.
112
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,410
But take it from p.O.,
Her new line of day-glo faygo
113
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,212
Will make fans say "Hoo!"
114
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,513
And now we enter day 3
115
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,082
Of our kirsten dunst
Headache watch.
116
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:12,251
Kiki's representatives inside
The megastar is just fine,
117
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,820
But eyewitness accounts
Say otherwise.
118
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,623
- I saw kirsten dunst
In the duty-free store
119
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,257
Buying tylenol--
120
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,058
A lot of it.
121
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,860
- even medical experts agree.
122
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,562
- well, a headache
Could be indicative
123
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,063
Of a failed movie deal.
124
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,131
Or possibly a pregnancy!
125
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,899
- time now for
Celebrity birthdays.
126
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:29,802
"Diff'rent strokes"
Star conrad bain is 82.
127
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:33,706
Adult film star
Ron jeremy is 69.
128
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,310
And comedy trailblazer
Fatty arbuckle is 118,
129
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:40,213
At least he would be
If he wasn't [bleep] Worm food.
130
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:41,648
In your face, fatty arbuckle,
131
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,717
You fat, filthy, [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep],
132
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,818
Fat [bleep] [bleep]!
133
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,887
Finally tonight, the fans
Have been waiting for weeks
134
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,721
To learn the winner of our
135
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,923
"Win russell crowe's
Trash contest."
136
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:54,394
The grand prize goes to
Mrs. Carmelita caylo
137
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,329
Of nyack, new york.
138
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,398
- oh, it's here!
It's here! It's here!
139
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:03,736
Oh, oh! It's russell crowe's
Underwear!
140
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:04,604
[sniffs]
141
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,307
Oh, hallelujah!
142
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:09,475
- whoa!
143
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:13,479
Hey, hey, hey.
A little help.
144
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,682
Oh!
145
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,450
- ladies, can I interest you
146
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,886
In some big balls?
147
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:23,122
- aw, I'm so ugly and fat!
148
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,525
- that's what I've
Been trying to tell you.
149
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:28,094
- so, who does what now?
150
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,296
- ha ha ha! Yup.
151
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,298
I'm gonna [bleep] That pig.
152
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,367
Ha ha. Here I come, baby.
153
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:36,969
[laughing]
154
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:41,974
- today, my son,
155
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,409
You will become a man.
156
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,712
- you're gonna teach me
How to kill, papa?
157
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,413
- no, more important than that.
158
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,183
I'm going to teach you
To poop on things.
159
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:50,983
- I'm ready, papa.
160
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,553
I had spicy sausage
For breakfast.
161
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:54,554
- oh, excellent.
162
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:58,758
Now, who do you think will
Make your best target?
163
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,159
- hmm.
164
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,261
On that man's head, papa?
165
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,262
- no, son.
166
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,198
Now, that is too obvious.
167
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,100
Pick again.
168
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,034
[baby crying]
169
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,669
- in there, papa?
170
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:10,803
- no, my son.
171
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,205
For he is a child,
172
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:13,473
And children are innocent.
173
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:14,273
[car approaches]
174
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:17,610
- on the expensive
Sports car, papa?
175
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:18,711
- no, no.
176
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,612
For it is white,
177
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:22,048
And our poop would not
Show up well on it.
178
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,082
Think harder, my son.
179
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,618
- hmm.
180
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,324
[gasps]
181
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,592
In there, papa.
182
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,494
- yes, yes, my son!
183
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,528
Excellent! Excellent!
184
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,497
Now, let me see what you can do!
185
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,031
- ok.
186
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,468
[fart]
187
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,370
[gulp]
188
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,738
[man screams]
189
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,907
Did I do good, papa?
190
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:48,975
- yes.
191
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:49,976
Yes, my son.
192
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,478
You made me very proud.
193
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:53,913
- and come on!
194
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,048
I mean, there can't
Just be one kong.
195
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,183
There's got to be others.
196
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,384
- ♪ la la la, I can't hear you ♪
197
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:01,587
♪ that's not another monkey
Climbing over the wall, la la ♪
198
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,024
- excuse me.
- ass!
199
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,726
- one side. Smurfing through.
200
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,762
Papa smurf needs to
See me right away.
201
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,264
Official business.
202
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,865
- douche.
203
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:14,734
- papa smurf! Papa smurf!
204
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,669
I smurfed here
As fast as I could.
205
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,540
- brainy, baker smurf
Has been murdered!
206
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,809
- but-but-but how?!
207
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,316
- ugh!
208
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,019
I was right on the verge
For a while,
209
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:36,255
But then seeing you
Do it made me...
210
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,123
Ugh.
211
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,592
Someone stuffed baker
With cream filling
212
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:40,793
Until he was ready to burst
213
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:44,130
Then smurfed him at 350 degrees.
214
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,700
This could not be more horrible.
215
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,905
I stand corrected.
216
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:53,739
- what's going on, brainy?
217
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,476
- it is my solemn duty
To inform you
218
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:01,013
That baker smurf
Has been smurfed.
219
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,949
[all gasp]
220
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,350
More importantly,
221
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,153
Papa smurf has placed
Me in charge
222
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,654
Of the investigation.
223
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,122
Papa smurf is always right,
224
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:15,228
And papa smurf knows I'm
The most educated smurf, so it--
225
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,831
Mothersmurfer.
226
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,701
How do I never see that coming?
227
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:25,671
You're the most
Likely suspect, gargamel.
228
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:26,706
- preposterous!
229
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:30,509
I wanted to turn smurfs
Into gold, not kill them.
230
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,246
- I thought you wanted
To eat the smurfs.
231
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:36,082
- actually, I've never
Been all that clear
232
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:36,982
On my motivations.
233
00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:39,284
At any rate, I just got
Back from branson,
234
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,318
So my alibi is solid.
235
00:08:40,385 --> 00:08:43,522
- if gargamel didn't do it,
Who did?
236
00:08:43,588 --> 00:08:47,059
- brainy, there's been
Another murder!
237
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,563
- [bleep] Smurfing [bleep]!
238
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,998
- oh! Oh! Oh!
239
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,833
The comb is in his--
240
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:54,901
Oh!
241
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:55,835
[grunting]
242
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,937
And--and the lipstick is--
243
00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,005
Agh!
244
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,407
Oh, I can't look!
245
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,275
Wait a minute,
246
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:05,378
Baker smurf was
A fat-assed pig in life.
247
00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,145
[gasps]
248
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,046
And look how he died.
249
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,916
Vanity was a primping,
Preening pretty-boy.
250
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:11,317
- gluttony, vanity.
251
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:16,756
- lazy smurf was horrifically
Mutilated in his barcalounger.
252
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:17,657
- sloth.
253
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:21,060
Our killer is mimicking
The 7 deadly sins.
254
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,362
But what sins still remain?
255
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,665
- the sin of lust, for one.
256
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:26,532
- papa, brainy,
257
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,001
Chronic masturbator smurf
Was just found
258
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,369
With his wang chopped off
259
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,138
And stuffed up his smurf hole!
260
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,574
- but we still don't
Have any suspects.
261
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:36,575
- go get smurfette.
262
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:39,178
Maybe a little massage
Will help us concentrate.
263
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,513
- happy ending?
264
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,315
- happy ending.
265
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,251
- smurfette?
266
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,819
Hello?
267
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,488
[door creaks]
268
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,125
Smurfette, are you here?
269
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,761
- ha ha ha. Oh, brainy! Ha ha.
270
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,196
Hi, brainy.
271
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,564
Ha ha ha ha!
272
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,166
- oh, no, jokey.
273
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,501
Your sick sense of humor...
274
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,272
Your total disregard
For smurf safety...
275
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:10,710
Your "Se7en" movie
Trading card collection.
276
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,111
You're the killer!
277
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,779
- I got you a present!
278
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,614
- what's in the box, jokey?
279
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,016
What's in the box?
280
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,352
- it's a surprise!
281
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,654
Ha ha ha.
282
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:22,788
- no!
283
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:26,892
Oh, smurfette, no!
284
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,527
- ha ha ha!
285
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:29,996
Surprise!
286
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,630
Ha ha ha ha ha!
287
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:34,100
- what the [bleep]
Is wrong with you?
288
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:36,736
- [laughing]
289
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,571
- nice work, brainy.
290
00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:42,241
Now we just gotta find her body.
291
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,276
- just because you're
A headless corpse
292
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:47,580
Doesn't mean we can't
Have some fun, smurfette.
293
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,382
[chuckles]
294
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,184
[waltz music playing]
295
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:00,893
[chicken clucking]
296
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,562
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
297
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:08,200
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
298
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:13,873
- ba-gawk!
299
00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,441
- bock.
300
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:32,024
- stoopid monkey.
19716
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