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1
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Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
2
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- it's alive !
3
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:39,806
- yep.
4
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:40,740
[sighs]
5
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,375
[ding dong]
6
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,210
- oh, will it hurt?
7
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,845
- only if god hates you.
8
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:46,980
- hey, mama mia!
9
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,581
The cannoli, eh,
Lasagna!
10
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:52,051
- hey, pasta fazul,
A spicy meatball!
11
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,257
[whistling]
12
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,258
[ding dong]
13
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,594
- dude, it's time to
Pimp your sister.
14
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,429
- oh, yeah!
15
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,196
Man, I can't believe--
16
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,364
Yo, man, my sister
Right in there.
17
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,566
Come pimp that bitch out!
18
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,103
- wait! W-wait!
19
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,071
Wait! I have homework.
20
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,074
- hey, ladies!
21
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,076
- we gon' pimp you out!
22
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,313
- girl, you got serious
Librarian hair.
23
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,682
- you ever see a ho
Shop at the gap?
24
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,485
- you got the posture
Of a lamp post, girl.
25
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:27,387
We got to give you
Some prosti-tude.
26
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,789
- if we go with
A leopard print tank top,
27
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,991
That's a little too
Southeast newark.
28
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,694
So we're going with
More of a cheetah pattern.
29
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,764
- garter belts
Ain't just for weddings,
Honey child.
30
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,899
You can tuck
A weapon in there.
31
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,868
At first,
I was pretty nervous,
32
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,305
But these hos
Are all about class.
33
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:48,475
- sometimes a john
Will want to do that with you,
34
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,076
And that'll cost $10.
35
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:50,910
- eww.
36
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,745
- this one--$50.
37
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:53,646
- ugh.
38
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,449
- and this one
Gon' require a credit card.
39
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,985
- again!
- don't play me!
40
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:00,253
- again!
- don't play me!
41
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,556
- all right, alex,
Now we ain't had a lot
To work with here,
42
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,625
But, yo,
Check out your new sister!
43
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,893
- all right, let me see.
44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,861
[gasps]
45
00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:09,461
Oh, damn!
46
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,295
Oh, you put the heels--
47
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,731
And, oh,
You got this garter--
48
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,533
Damn...
49
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,401
Oh, damn!
50
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,402
It's the new me--
51
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:20,673
Not just on the outside,
But on the inside, too.
52
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,476
[all talking at once]
53
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,311
- it's so hard
When they leave.
54
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,312
It's so hard.
55
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,313
- hey, y'all!
56
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,081
Hey, yo, man!
57
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:29,315
Yo, come get a piece
Of my sister!
58
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,117
Who wants to get up
In my sister's ass?
59
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,820
- oh, hello, mr. Johnson.
60
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,621
- hello, amy.
61
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,323
Do you take credit cards?
62
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,828
- eww.
63
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,831
- we'll be dead soon.
64
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:48,234
- ow.
65
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,336
I'm telling my dad.
66
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:54,007
- welcome to
"The surreal life."
67
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,577
- come on, come on.
68
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,078
Get down.
69
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:03,383
- let's take a look at what
"The surreal life" gang
Has been up to recently.
70
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,151
- we were really excited
To participate
71
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,220
In the iditarod
Dogsled race...
72
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,857
Till one of the dogs
Fell in love with manny mo.
73
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,525
- help! The dog--
74
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,393
Aah!
75
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:14,761
- let's see
What's in store
76
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:17,030
For our
"Surreal life" folks today.
77
00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:18,831
- we have to take
The one ring
78
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:22,168
And destroy it
In the fires of mount doom.
79
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,038
- ooh!
80
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:31,044
- wait, something's coming!
81
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:38,551
- aah!
82
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:47,927
- there's no way
I'm doing this.
83
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,629
Somebody better
Get me a cab
84
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,564
Because I'm going--
85
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,520
- we must helps them.
86
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,289
They's our friend.
87
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,192
They hates manny mo.
88
00:04:19,257 --> 00:04:22,428
No, they loves us.
89
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:26,332
If they dies,
We go get pizza.
90
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,268
Aah! Aah!
91
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,472
[singing indistinctly]
92
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,573
[urinating]
93
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,274
- ahh.
94
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:40,079
[roaring]
95
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,281
- aah!
96
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:48,588
- back to the fires
That forged you, evil trinket!
97
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,589
Whoa!
98
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,290
- oh!
99
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,132
- corey, you saved me, bro.
100
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:00,166
- you can burn in hell.
101
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,501
I just want the ring.
102
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,902
- corey, no!
103
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:03,903
[splat]
104
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:04,704
Oh, bro!
105
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,974
- oh, friends,
Remember me fondly...
106
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:12,378
In "Stand by me"
And in "The lost boys"--
107
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:13,346
Only the first half.
108
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,049
Wait, and "Friday the 13th"
Was pretty good--
109
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,351
- next time
On "The surreal life"...
110
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:23,222
- well, ron and I
Had to check out
A suspicious meteor.
111
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,091
[beeping]
112
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,326
[roars]
113
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,199
- boo !
114
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,002
Heh heh heh.
115
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,073
[screaming]
116
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:44,844
- you didn't think
It'd be that easy, did you?
117
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:48,347
Chocolate chicken eggs
For everyone!
118
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,615
- 1, 2, 3, 4!
119
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,884
We love it when
Our players score!
120
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,286
5, 6, 7, 8!
121
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,954
Double entendres
Are really great!
122
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,157
- I want to go to dallas,
But I don't have any money.
123
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,425
- we're such good friends,
124
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,928
We'll have sex
With people for money
125
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:03,129
And give it to you.
126
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:03,796
- yeah!
127
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,665
- oh, best friends forever!
128
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:10,503
- we're soaking wet
From washing your car,
Mr. Thrustbone.
129
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:13,439
- is there anything else
We can do for you?
130
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:17,343
- I'll give you $20
For all of us to go crazy.
131
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,044
- wow!
132
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,180
$20 in 1978 dollars
Is a lot.
133
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:22,215
- yeah! Uh-huh!
134
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:23,649
Unh! Unh! Unh!
135
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,584
- yeah!
136
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,285
Oh, you look just like
My daughter's friends.
137
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,320
Oh, yeah.
138
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:28,187
Oh! Oh!
139
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,490
- watch out for the icing.
140
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,357
Dang it.
141
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:32,692
- we raised $39.
142
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:36,729
- that's exactly enough
To get to dallas.
143
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,430
Yay!
144
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,533
I'm finally in dallas.
145
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,433
- moo.
146
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:45,738
- oh, I wonder how much
It is to get back.
147
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:58,317
- I'm stepping down
The ladder and--
148
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,652
Uh-oh! Oh.
149
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,721
Uh-oh, I'm falling.
150
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:02,588
Yeah.
151
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,223
Yeah, I'm falling
On the moon.
152
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:09,095
Yes, I'm falling
On the moon.
153
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,898
[thud]
154
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,599
- aah!
155
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:19,806
Ok, uh, hailing frequencies
Are open.
156
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,608
[all talking at once]
157
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,613
[talking stops]
158
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,951
[all shouting at once]
159
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,055
[sighs]
160
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,790
- is he going to
Do it again?
161
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,558
- wrong,
Your reservations are.
162
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,027
For us to listen
To ray griffiths,
163
00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:44,263
The actor who played
The power droid
In "Episode iv,"
164
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,665
This is room is scheduled.
165
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:46,532
- I reserved room a-2
166
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,800
To watch the "Star trek"
Blooper reel
167
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,203
Where deforest kelley
Grabs majel barrett's chest.
168
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:52,572
The prime directive demands
That you leave the premises.
169
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,340
- the prime directive sucks.
170
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,475
- you suck,
You nerf herder!
171
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,711
- ooh, seven of nine...
172
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,446
- I heard one william shatner
173
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:03,282
Is going to do
A guest spot on "Enterprise"
174
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,884
And not as kirk!
175
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:05,685
[gasping]
176
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:06,953
- you take that back!
177
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:10,656
[making swooshing sounds]
178
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,791
- gentlemen, gentlemen,
179
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:15,161
We could discuss this
Logically.
180
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,662
[all shouting]
181
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,865
- excuse me,
I'm ray griffith.
182
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,832
Oh, my face!
183
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:22,869
- you kids stop.
184
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:23,736
No fighting.
185
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,770
Oh, get off me. Ow.
186
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:25,705
My neck, my spine.
187
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,507
Oh, no, not like this.
188
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,279
- excuse me,
But are you gentlemen
189
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,147
Engaged in a game of larp--
190
00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:36,315
Live action role-playing?
191
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:38,351
I happen to be
An old hand at it.
192
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,652
Aah!
193
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,054
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
194
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:42,889
Fire--fire--
195
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:45,358
- excuse me,
That's impolite.
196
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,159
Ow!
197
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,028
Stop!
198
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,864
Oh, that's it!
199
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,534
- all systems ready.
200
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,678
- don't worry,
Mr. Schumacher,
201
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,146
We'll get you out of here.
202
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,147
[gasps]
203
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,783
- joel schumacher is
History's greatest monster.
204
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:11,717
- get him!
205
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:12,585
Let's get him!
206
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,621
[all shouting at once]
207
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:16,622
- got him!
208
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,391
I got him!
209
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,426
- keep it coming.
210
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,427
- ok, got it. Got it.
211
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,063
- get another one.
Get me another one.
212
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:32,705
- shame on you.
213
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,708
You've all forgotten
The true meaning of fandom.
214
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,444
We should take joy
In our loves,
215
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,347
Not argue about them.
216
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,214
[laughs]
217
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,483
Son of a bitch!
218
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,086
[gunshots]
219
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:14,547
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
220
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:18,250
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
221
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:22,188
[chickens clucking theme song]
14133
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