All language subtitles for Robot Chicken - S01E01 - Junk in the Trunk (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:08,308 [laughing] 2 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,910 [whirring] 3 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,517 Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group 4 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,953 - it's alive! 5 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,672 - my name is george w. Bush, 6 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,141 And I approved this message. 7 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,843 Tacos rule. 8 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:46,846 - aagh! 9 00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,448 - this is your brain. 10 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,383 And this is heroin. 11 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:54,354 This is what happens To your brain on heroin. 12 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,725 And this is what your Body goes through. 13 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,460 But it's not over yet. 14 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,762 This is what happens To your grades... 15 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,030 To your friends... 16 00:01:04,096 --> 00:01:04,798 And all your stuff! 17 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:05,899 This is what happens To the profits 18 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,033 From your grandma's bake sale! 19 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,102 This is what happens To the world economy. 20 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,604 And your boyfriend Gives you herpes simplex a! 21 00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:14,841 And you end up getting A stupid tattoo of a unicorn 22 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,376 On your left ass cheek 23 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,945 That was supposed to Be a bitchin' firebird, 24 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:23,183 But you were too strung out To notice at the time! 25 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:26,119 [car alarm beeping] 26 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,755 [whimpering] 27 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,327 - we just want to help! 28 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:37,063 - this is what happens To family values! 29 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,933 This is what happens To the pollen count! 30 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,668 Any questions?! 31 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,471 Any questions?! 32 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,175 - this is the spot! 33 00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:51,878 The decepticons are Using the dam below 34 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,447 To stockpile energon cubes. 35 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:57,350 - megatron must be stopped! 36 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,753 Autobots, transform and rol-- 37 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:03,089 Oh! Hold on a second! 38 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:07,126 [urinating] 39 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:13,466 [toilet flushes] 40 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,434 - are you ok? 41 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,469 - let's get 'em! 42 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,211 - I shot the hell Out of that guy! 43 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,012 [laughter] 44 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,881 - good job, everyone! 45 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,516 Megatron was defeated 46 00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:33,186 With only 50 humans killed In the crossfire. 47 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,521 A new record! 48 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,323 - hurray! - hurray! 49 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:39,893 - hey, prowl, 50 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:40,760 Have you noticed how often 51 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,663 Prime needs to drain The lizard nowadays? 52 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,932 - yeah, he must be french, 53 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,400 Because he's a-peein'. 54 00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:48,301 Ha ha ha. 55 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,936 - I think that joke goes: 56 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,271 "You're-a-peein'." 57 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,472 - ha ha ha. 58 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,541 But I'm not. 59 00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:55,341 - ugh. 60 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,977 Such a retardicon. 61 00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,812 [urinating] 62 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:00,613 - uh-oh. 63 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,582 I didn't think going To the bathroom 64 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,850 So often was a problem, 65 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:07,420 But just today, I saw Blood in my urine. 66 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,353 - ew! 67 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,790 Well, I'd better have a look. 68 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,193 - ow! Oh! 69 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,495 Oh! 70 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,630 Using the whole fist, doc? 71 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,998 - it's what I feared: 72 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,500 Prostate cancer-- 73 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,401 And it's advanced. 74 00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:24,704 I'm sorry, prime, But you're going to die. 75 00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,815 [sobbing] 76 00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:47,560 [sobbing] 77 00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:52,498 [all crying] 78 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,335 [ekg machine flatlines] 79 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,438 - hi. I'm optimus prime. 80 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:01,107 What you've just seen Is a dramatization 81 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,243 Of what you, your friends, And your family go through 82 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,814 If you don't get regular Prostate exams. 83 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:13,219 Now, we transformers don't Have organic internal organs 84 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,154 And can't get cancer. 85 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,789 But you do... 86 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,358 And you can. 87 00:04:18,423 --> 00:04:21,861 - so, get your ass checked out Before it's too late, turkeys! 88 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,695 - this has been a message from 89 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,130 The cybertronian Medical association. 90 00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,300 - reality tv has never Been this honest, 91 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,369 This brutal! 92 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,170 Coming soon... 93 00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:34,807 It's "The world's most one-sided Fistfights caught on film!" 94 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:40,179 Television too brutal to watch, Yet you can't turn away. 95 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,282 [grunting] 96 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,321 [baby cries] 97 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,028 Thursdays at 8 p.M., 98 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:59,599 It's "The world's most one-sided Fistfights caught on film!" 99 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,268 - all right, guys, I'll see You back in the yard. 100 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,103 Hey, what the--oh! Aagh! 101 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,939 [screaming] 102 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:08,574 Call a guard. 103 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,510 - it uh...It burns when I pee. 104 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,412 - what did I just tell you?! 105 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,281 - this new tax Appropriations bill 106 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,449 Will result in a-- 107 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,451 - my name is tiffany montgomery From clifton, new jersey, 108 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,853 And I think Senator davidson rocks! 109 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,888 Whoo! 110 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:23,022 - ...Wide-standing Ramifications... 111 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,991 - my name is melanie fratello From danbury, connecticut, 112 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,660 And I think legislation to cut Infrastructure funds 4% 113 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,562 In the upcoming fiscal Year rules! 114 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:30,496 Whoo! 115 00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,465 Danbury high fighting Tigers forever! Whoo! 116 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:33,900 - yo, coming straight at you, 117 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,101 We got an executive session 118 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:39,605 To consider the nomination of 3 U.S. District judges, y'all! 119 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:40,373 Then later on, 120 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,008 The procedure oversight Committee 121 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,209 Is holding a public hearing 122 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,378 That'll be all up In your grille. 123 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:48,114 But first, here's the results Of our internet poll 124 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,117 Where you get to decide The next speaker. 125 00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:52,418 And the winner is... 126 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:56,789 Oh, byron l. Dorgan! Oh, yeah! 127 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:57,590 - thank you. 128 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,625 As the representative... 129 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,094 - I'm so hungry. 130 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:05,131 - hi, mr. Hungry. Can I call you so? 131 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,801 [applause] 132 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:13,072 - is everyone ready for more Of those hilarious bloopers?! 133 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,241 You know, being a tv reporter 134 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,510 Isn't all fires And double homicides. 135 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,378 When you can't get Your lines right, 136 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:22,582 Sometimes the biggest Story is you! 137 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,851 - there's nothing like Some tasty bamboo, 138 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,419 Especially when You're ling-ling, 139 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,822 Who's traveled all the way From china to visit um... 140 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,124 Uh... 141 00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:32,024 Uh, I'm sorry. 142 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,993 I just don't feel safe Next to this animal. 143 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,928 - it's completely harmless, Jerry. 144 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:36,863 - are--are you sure? 145 00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,332 It's...It's just-- All right, all right. 146 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,266 - still rolling. 147 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,335 - there's nothing like A nice piece of bamboo 148 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:44,470 Uh, when...Crap! 149 00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:45,838 - stop being such a wuss! 150 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,573 - I--I--I just... 151 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,242 It--fine! Fine! 152 00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:50,276 - rolling. 153 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,512 - there's uh, nothing like A nice piece of bamboo, 154 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,746 Especially when-- 155 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,281 [laughter] 156 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,048 [burp] 157 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,750 - you just can't trust The chinese. 158 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,953 There certainly weren't any Chinese in hazzard county, 159 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:04,824 But bo and luke had Problems of their own! 160 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:05,958 - marker! 161 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,194 - whoo! 162 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,729 - ow! 163 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:10,863 [laughter] 164 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,932 Ow! Ow! 165 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,102 - ya-whoo! 166 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,203 - ow! 167 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,004 My knee! 168 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,338 Son of a bitch! Ow! 169 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,308 Ow! Ow! 170 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,979 - ya-whoo! 171 00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:28,147 Wait! Wait, john! 172 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:28,948 I'm stuck. 173 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,284 I'm stuck! I'm stuck! 174 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,819 - when david duchovny announced 175 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:33,953 He was leaving "The x-files," 176 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,856 Producers had to scramble To find a new male lead. 177 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:40,459 Check out these Never-before-seen screen tests. 178 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,261 - keanu reeves screen test, Take one. 179 00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:43,863 - so, you're telling me We're dealing with 180 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,566 A sort of missing link in The evolutionary chain? 181 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,500 - that's right, scully. 182 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,034 The scientific name for This beast would be 183 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:52,972 Rondonondus marsipius, From the genus emplyaeclaes. 184 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:53,906 Ha ha ha! 185 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,008 - mr. T. Screen test, take one. 186 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,578 - so, you're telling me We're dealing with 187 00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,545 A sort of missing link-- 188 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:00,513 - you damn right, scully! 189 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,648 Missing link between The bugs and the humans, 190 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,116 Talkin' 'bout bad for the kids! 191 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,686 Don't play me for No jibba-jabba, fool! 192 00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:07,353 [sighs] 193 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,655 - corky screen test, take 27. 194 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,557 - so, you're telling me We're dealing with 195 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:15,661 A sort of missing link in The evolutionary chain? 196 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,733 - I just made a doody... 197 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,934 In my pants. 198 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:22,768 [laughter] 199 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,637 - you know, superman Had a movie serial 200 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,672 As far back as 1948. 201 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:27,573 But the actor playing him 202 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,409 Had his share of super problems! 203 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:32,812 - help! Help me, superman! 204 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:33,645 Help! 205 00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:37,082 - this looks like A job for superman. 206 00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,085 [burps] 207 00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:40,886 - should we keep going? 208 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:41,988 Yeah? Ok. 209 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,222 Uh, uh, uh. 210 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:46,259 Even superman can't outrun uh... 211 00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:47,226 A bullet! 212 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,327 Oh, my face! 213 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,695 You hit me in the eye! 214 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,163 Why would you do that? - hurray! 215 00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,565 You're saved! 216 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:56,102 Up, up, and away! 217 00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,239 - his lawyers called it "Heat exhaustion." 218 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,707 [laughter] 219 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:02,975 Remember "Diff'rent strokes"? 220 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,312 We got our hands on some footage From that classic sitcom 221 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,481 That's never been seen before! 222 00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,416 - someone's been a bad, bad boy! 223 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,684 - ow! Ow! 224 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:12,952 - bad, bad boy! 225 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:13,886 - ow! Ow! 226 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,522 - conrad, gary, you're on. Places, everyone. 227 00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:18,724 - and, action. 228 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:19,759 - who wants ice cream? 229 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,560 - we do, we do! - we do, we do! - we do, we do! 230 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:22,461 - here's a rare blooper 231 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:25,932 From that smash hit Cartoon "Pokemon." 232 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:26,966 - pikachu. 233 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,501 Pika, pika! 234 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:29,735 Pika, pee! 235 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,203 - squirtle! Squirtle! 236 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,238 Squirtle! Squirtle! 237 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,240 - pika, pika, pikachu! 238 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,841 Pika, pika! 239 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:36,842 - squirtle! Squirtle! 240 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,378 Squart--what the [bleep] Am I saying?! 241 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:40,146 No, I mean it! 242 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,714 This [bleep] Makes No sense at all! 243 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,483 - say the line, earl, Or you get the gas. 244 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,785 - for the love of ... Kids, 245 00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:47,353 Go read a book or something! 246 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,722 - next up is something I like to call 247 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:55,328 "Bloopers in space!" 248 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,865 - agh! 249 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,600 Agh! 250 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,568 Agh! 251 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,136 - oh, ho ho ho! 252 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,639 Ah ha ha ha! 253 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,607 - we're in big trouble, Starbuck. 254 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,743 - stop right there, humans! 255 00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,012 - the actors playing Those nasty cylons 256 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:16,482 On "Battlestar galactica" Has all sorts of problems 257 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,985 Maneuvering in their Bulky costumes. 258 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,153 Just watch! 259 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,775 - marker! 260 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:45,211 - I will command... 261 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,694 [laughter] 262 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,928 - that's all the time We have today, 263 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:07,500 But come back next week For more outrageous bloopers! 264 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:08,701 [applause] 265 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,470 Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group 266 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:15,341 Captioned by the national Captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 267 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:19,178 [chickens clucking] 17616

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