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Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris, man of action.
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Chuck Norris stars in Chuck Norris Karate Commandos.
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Chuck Norris, he's got nerves of steel and strength to match.
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Chuck Norris with his team, Pepper.
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It's too dangerous, Chuck.
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What?
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Too much.
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Too much.
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Kimo, the samurai warrior.
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Reed, Chuck's teenage apprentice.
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Tabe, the sumo champion.
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With Chuck Norris, they battle the sinister forces
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of the claw.
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Remember this.
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And the ruthless super ninja.
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I'll finish Norris.
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Chuck Norris stars in Chuck Norris Karate Commandos.
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Self-control.
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You need it in the martial arts,
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and you need it in everyday life.
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Self-control may mean giving up something now
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or something more important later.
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It also means a lot of hard work,
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and sometimes it's not a lot of fun.
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But self-control pays off at the end,
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as you'll see in this adventure.
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We've arrived at the launch site.
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I'm depending on you, Chuck.
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I'll warn them, Mr. Director.
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Welcome aboard, Mr. Norris.
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I'm Colonel Swatt, head of base security.
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I was informed you were on the way.
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We've got to talk.
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Claws men attack here?
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Are you joking?
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The claw is going to try and steal the shuttle.
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Then he'd better hurry,
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because the invincible lifts off in five minutes.
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It's time, Kroc.
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Splendid, Super Ninja.
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Let's do it.
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Man the catapults.
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Ready your stun gun.
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Attack.
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Nobody's going to attack this base while I'm in charge.
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Not even a fly could get through my defenses.
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Not even a fly, huh?
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In here, Chuck.
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It's Claws men.
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They're moving on the shuttle.
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Let's go get them.
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Where do you think you're going?
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With you.
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I've got a better idea.
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You stay here with Swatt and see that that fly doesn't get out of the closet.
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Stunning, isn't it?
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Sleep tight, suckers.
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Heads up, guys.
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You're next.
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Help the guards.
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I'll take care of the shuttle.
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And be careful.
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Why run when you can drive?
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He's mine.
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You get the shuttle.
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Don't bet on it.
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I've waited a long time for this, Norris.
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You'll have to do better than that.
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Attention.
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All personnel must clear the launch area.
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T-minus 60 seconds and count.
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T-minus 50 seconds and count.
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We'll finish this later, Norris.
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I've got a shuttle to steal.
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Look, it's Chuck.
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T-minus 40 seconds and count.
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I told you I've got things to do.
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T-minus 30 seconds and count.
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T-minus 20 seconds.
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T-minus 10 seconds.
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Ignition.
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Liftoff.
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This is for you, Norris.
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You won the battle, but the war's not over yet.
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This is some place you've got here, Claw.
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Not exactly my taste.
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Not reptilian enough for you, perhaps.
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I wanted to congratulate you personally for helping me obtain the shuttle.
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So when do I get my money?
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Patience, Croc.
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You get you as soon as the world pays me mine.
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But don't worry.
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I always make sure my champions get their just rewards.
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Good afternoon, Mr. President.
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Nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule.
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I'd like to show you what the shuttle, Invincible, is capable of in the hands of an inspired crew.
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Oh, no!
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Doing nothing like that is impossible.
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I insist on 10 billion dollars from each of the major world powers,
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or I shall turn this weapon on your capital cities.
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You have 48 hours to raise the money.
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Well, General?
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There's no way we can get anywhere near that shuttle, Mr. President.
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It's too well-armed.
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Looks like it's up to you, Chuck.
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Finding the Croc's hideout isn't going to be easy.
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If it was easy to find, it wouldn't be a hideout.
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The troopers we captured said it was in this swamp.
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We've got to get to the Croc. He's our link to the claw.
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Anybody got any ideas?
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I got one. Let's eat!
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How can you think of your belly at a time like this?
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My belly is going to lead us to Croc.
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I smell chicken cooking.
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Not bad, either.
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Over there, boss.
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Pepper, you heard the man.
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There's the camp.
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It's snares.
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Everybody okay?
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Looks like it.
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Wow, that was too much.
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The mine didn't get them.
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Then my babies will.
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Hey, boss. We got company.
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Looks like the cast of Wild Kingdom.
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Let's turn them into handbags.
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Stay put.
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But...
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No buts.
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Nice throw.
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I wasn't jumped for nothing.
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Man, it's rude to yawn, Kimo.
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Not bad, boss.
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I never get to have any fun.
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Send out a patrol.
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I'm in iron snow.
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There must be a hundred of them.
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That will make it a fair fight.
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Hurry it up, will ya?
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The troops are getting restless.
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Hey, what's the problem?
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You put too much pepper on the chicken.
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Hey, cookie, hurry up with the slime.
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Keep your pants on.
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Today, we have something that will knock you out.
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Oh, yeah? And what's that?
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Sleeping gas, too.
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You boys are sure brave with those pink stickers in your hands.
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You just made your last mistake.
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Now I'm gonna crush you like a bug.
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You win.
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Now you're gonna tell me where I can find the claw.
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I've lowered the microwave antenna.
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We are ready to receive.
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Set the disgrambler to the claw's frequency.
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He should be sending any time now.
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Why would the claw want to set up a communications base in the boonies of Alaska?
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It's a safe place to contact the shuttle from.
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If we destroy his base, claw won't be able to send orders to the invincible.
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That sounds like a plan.
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But where is the base?
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It's supposed to be right around here somewhere.
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Claw's base is a submarine.
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We gotta help him.
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The ice is breaking up.
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Oh, too much. We've got to get to solid ground.
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We'll never be able to get to them now.
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I'm freezing.
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Use the cold to heat your anger.
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I'd rather have a hot water bottle.
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There's claw's communications dish.
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What are your orders, claw?
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Quick, chemo. Cut the cable.
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Somebody cut the cable.
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Fix it immediately. I must contact super ninja.
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Yes, sir.
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Attention. An emergency repair crew is needed topside immediately.
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It's Norris.
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We were in the neighborhood and we thought we'd drop in.
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You missed.
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I never miss.
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Put this barge out of commission, Tobby.
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Norris.
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I thought you'd be glad to see me.
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The world will pay dearly for this.
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Not if we can help it.
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You think that will stop me?
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If super ninja doesn't hear from me in two hours,
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he has orders to, shall we say, to barbecue a few capitals.
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Goodbye, Mr. Norris.
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It's been entertaining.
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He's locked it from the inside.
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There goes the claw.
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And there goes the capitals of the world.
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Not yet. Come on.
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Where are we headed, Chuck?
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We've got to find something that will get us up to that shuttle before the shooting starts.
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Come on, Susie. We'll get a spaceship.
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And where are we going to find one in Alaska?
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Anchorage. They've got an old X-15 on display in a museum.
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It's too dangerous, Chuck.
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That space dinosaur hasn't been flown in 20 years.
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I've got no choice, Pepper. Time's running out.
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Get some rocket fuel from the Air Force Base and meet us at the Anchorage Museum.
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Rocket fuel? Even Chuck Norris is gonna need the base commander's okay and a pile of paperwork.
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How long will that take?
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I figure about an hour. I'll get going for you.
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Thanks.
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But we don't have the time.
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Hey, come back here.
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Looks like the museum's closed.
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How are we gonna get in?
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We're gonna fly.
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Let's go for it.
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There's no way you'll fit down that, boss.
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But I can do it. No sweat.
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I'll let you in the front door.
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I sure hope this works.
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All right, Tommy. Put your shoulder into it.
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Fill her up, mister?
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Yeah, but forget the windows. He's in a hurry.
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Stand clear.
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Here goes nothing.
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I'll be. This old bucket still works.
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We have company.
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Blast them!
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I've gotta get out of here. And this fire extinguisher is just the ticket.
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The rocket has been destroyed. The two hours are up. Prepare the fusion cannon.
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Nice of them to open the doors for me. And I didn't even have to knock.
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This must be the baby they're gonna blast the Earth with.
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The reactor is primed.
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The initial targets will be Washington, London, Moscow, Tokyo, and Beijing.
235
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You can't use the fusion cannon. It's inhuman.
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Watch me.
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Full power in 30 seconds.
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The world will remember this day!
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The fusion cannon is at full power.
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This low gravity comes in handy.
241
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Norris!
242
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Fire the fusion cannon!
243
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You aren't firing anything, fella.
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I want him.
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Let's see you stop me from pushing that button.
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No problem.
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I'm tired of you, Norris.
248
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It's time to settle our score.
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I'm for that.
250
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Chuck the firing button.
251
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I'll be back, Norris.
252
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Forget it. There's an escape capsule back there. You'll never catch him. He's gone.
253
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I guess you can't have everything.
254
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Mr. Director, it's all over.
255
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Well, boss, you nailed the claw again.
256
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000
I'd sure hate to be in Super Ninja's shoes.
257
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What do you think the claw's gonna do to him?
258
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He probably took him out behind the woodshed.
259
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That was a close one.
260
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The only reason we were able to stop the claw is because we were better trained.
261
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Training requires a lot of self-control.
262
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That means giving up a lot of things for a goal.
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Like when Mom or Dad want you to do your homework now and watch TV later.
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It may seem like nagging, but believe me, you'll thank them for it.
265
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Think about it. Catch you next time.
266
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Thanks for watching.
267
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